I loved that too! I started my own RU-vid channel (SolitaryWins) near the end of January where I post games of Solitaire and Minesweeper that I've won, and there's no sound on any of the videos. I already have 18 subscribers, and I keep wondering, are they all autistic too? X)
Oh my. I relate to this. Great observation! I find that background music in these kinds of videos even if it's very faint and turned down is a huge distraction for me. I appreciate this as well.
Initially, autistic people were thought to lack empathy, but research with human-animal interactions appears to indicate that the opposite is true. In fact, it appears that autistic people might have *too much* empathy, which can make interacting with other people overwhelming. Personally, I think there could be some validity to that because I have struggled to interact with people who were either trying to hide or lying about their emotional state.
I knew i was autistic when that movie Rainman came out. I always hid things that i personally did, and didn't observe in the people around me. Just got the diagnosis at 47. I figured i had made my observations of how humans operate, and why they are all cognitively impared. Might as well engage with the "nerotypicals". It's like having a battle of whits with a bunch of unarmed opponents. I'm not going to lie, crushing thier infinitesimal views of this experience they call "life" is incredibly entertaining. I thought punching down might be kinda boring. However, their arrogance and hubris makes it absolutely delightful! 😊
The ones that applied to me: attention to detail, hyperfocus, superior memory, high IQ, direct communication, low judgmentalism, and a deep hatred of skinny jeans. I gossip about motive, but not much else. I'm very interested in what other people are trying to accomplish, but not so much other things.
I've wanted to design a castle too. I had to let go of that desire because it just seemed like putting the cart before the horse since I can't even afford a house.
I remember when I was a kid, my mom was putting me to sleep reading me a story and I told her she left the radio on. She couldn't hear it, but I told her the song that was playing. She went to check and the knob was just almost turned down all the way (just one more millimeter would have turned it off). She turned it up and the song I said I could hear was playing was on. Since then she says that I can "hear a mouse pee on cotton" 😂
I'm always having to ask my family to turn the TV down because they can't even hear it but I feel like my ears will start bleeding any minute because it's so loud. I hated music growing up because it was always played too loud from car radios and boomboxes. Thank goodness for the invention of headphones and earbuds!
Being AuDHD i have multiple interests that i cycle through. I don't have a single exclusive special interest, but i will switch between hyperfixations, but i will continue to passively collect ideas and information about the others at all times.
I cycle through my interests as well. Some I return to more frequently than others. A couple I haven't gone back to. But most I do return to over and over.
Same. My special interests are many, and sometimes i get overwhelmed by my own hyperfocus of weeks or days on end, put that specific one away for a while, and then pick another one of them, and rinse and repeat. I love drawing, i love astrology, i love learning new languages, i love fashion and subcultures, and i love singing or going on walks, but i always end up chasing the next one on the dopamine cycle of picking up old interests again bc i cannot function, like, at all, otherwise😂😂😂 I really really need to pursue my passions and special interests, even if it is learning about all types of fungi or funky species of insects… or i feel stuck and enter adhd paralysis. And i can't do, like, nothing at all.
Same…but tend to run concurrently and if something pops to me I will be stuck on researching that in any spare time. A special interest is medical information and how natural things work…which has led to saving lives (literally, because of course I’m stupidly detail oriented to the point my family thinks it neurosis, because they still don’t want to deal with having an autistic daughter or sister…and I’m 49, a lot of years of abuse) and designing systems based on how plants work and biochemistry. I didn’t look up how to design my water collection and watering system, I used knowledge of how the plants I was watering worked.
I have found that those of us who understand humor and sarcasm tend to be wickedly hilarious. We can make almost anyone laugh with a mixture of blunt truth, colorful wording, and irony. I find this to be a common yet positive trait.
I use this as part of my mask, actually. People tend to treat me with cool unease at first, but if I can make them laugh they'll often relax around me.
I make people laugh and I don't know what was funny. I'm literally being honest and I can be passionate. It catches me off guard a bit since my intent wasn't to be funny at that moment. I like making people laugh though and I'm still trying to work out if that's me or a mask or a combo. As an example... Recently I was hanging on to something for someone else. That person was traveling with us for a school (college) conference but couldn't stay the whole time. When we got back, before getting off the bus one of the advisors asked if I was going to pass on those things to them. And I said "no, I want to keep them" in a sarcastic way because I wanted to make them laugh (and they did so it made me happy). I also thought it was funny they asked IF. Well of course I'm going to give you the stuff. What the heck am I going to do with it?
Not being pulled in by group think as easily. More often keeping a detached analytical perspective when everyone else is already crowding behind flags.
Wow! This explains my skepticism in the religion I was indoctrinated into. I am shunned when I don’t partake in group think so really messes with my wiring. 😅
Yeah, while everyone else is firing up the torches, reaching for ropes and weapons - still being cool and "lets have a look at this situation and analyze it before we burn anything to the ground "..
Y'know I keep having this argument with people "you wouldn't know what you would do in that situation." I assure you, Ami absolutely know what I would do. In my mind I have practiced for just this instance for decades.
It depends. If you're into a shared cause, you could get overzealously passionate about it. At least until you take a step back and start doubting, and then it's easy to passionately turn 180, before dropping off and be like "Hey wait a minute why am I getting worked up about this crap"
I think the nonjudgmental thing comes from a place of evaluating things for their consequences, as opposed to the naturalistic/normalistic fallacy which seems to be the gold standard for allistics. (Which, let's be honest, is just mindless conformism.) Instead of "if it's not normal/popular/common it must be bad" the judgment is based on "does it hurt anyone or affect me in any way? No, then who cares?"
Ya, that’s a great view of it. When the “non judgemental” bit came up, I was like, “Oh. I’m VERY judgemental. I feel like it’s my default setting.” But, ya. I judge irrationality. Most people bother me because their behaviours/opinions/actions are irrational or not rooted in some well thought out reasoning. They just run on automatic. I’m constantly muttering, “WHY would you do that? That makes no sense at all.” But if they’ve got a good reason for it, ok. I can’t be bothered by that. I actually love other peoples interests if they’re REALLY into it. Like, it might not be something I’d be interested in, it’s just their passion for it. They can tell you LOADS of info …. I never find it “weird”. It seems totally normal to me.
@@northwoodfalls1403 Pretty similar with - both being intolerant of irrational behavior (as someone once said, I do not suffer fools gladly) and enjoying genuine passion in others.
It's like how I've noticed it's 'in' to decorate your home like clinical waiting rooms with absolutely no personality expressed, just because for some reason that's expected.. Hell naw, I'd rather explode in color and drown in "childish" things than feel forced to live in a half empty Ikea showroom for the rest of my life. I will judge, indeed :p.
The non judgemental thing will clash very badly if you meet a narcissist. Most of the time I will be able to rationalize any kind of wrongdoing that people fell into. If someone mismanaged a project of some sort, I will try to find out where or why they might do so in the process without resorting to them having any ill will. Even though the end result doesn't bode well for them, I can always analyze that everyone started with good intentions. But if during our interaction I get a whiff that they are narcissist, then all bets are off and I will start any interaction with them with shields on. Narcissists are the very worst people you can meet if you're an autistic.
Sticking to routines and patterns is why it makes me crazy when apps and suchlike get updates. I have to put everything back to as close as possible to the way it was.
I don't loose it, per se, but I can feel the days when there have been updates barking at me to perform. I don't last as long on those days. So I try, as much as possible, to schedule the updates for just before I switch the things off for bed. 'Update and Shut Down' is a lot easier to cope with than 'Update and Restart'! But, yes, when something I've come to depend on (doing a thing a certain way) gets destroyed by an update - I am a very unhappy bunny. And I have, in the past, kicked up such a fuss about it (emailing huge corporations to shout at them etc.). I particularly hate it when computer apps are made more smart phone friendly to be more inclusive to the people that don't particularly care enough about the thing to remain static.
This! And when I have to change my devices … oh my. Bought a new phone 6 months ago, still using the old one, probably until it dies, because the new one is … well, different. 🙈😂
@@danielaruhl1710 I so hear you. I needed a new phone because a combination of dyspraxia and rheumatoid arthritis had caused me to drop my old one too many times. I dreaded getting a new phone so much that I got on Amazon and bought one of the same model a second time. It was still a pain setting it up, but I knew where everything was and all the tricks and tips already. At this point, I'm just afraid that Android will stop serviving it. I won't really mind the lack of updates (see my first post), but apps may start failing, and I'll have to think about getting a new model. 😒
#1: I was at a pub and packing up my leftovers and the lid of the takeout container was plastic and the smoothest thing I have ever touched. The rest of my party didn’t seem to get why I was so enthralled by its extremely low coefficient of friction
I was at work the other day and a plastic Cup I grabbed was incredibly smooth and silky almost! But no one else really understood why I was so enthralled by it either. And I kinda walked around with it for a bit playing with it. Haha
I know exactly what youʻre talking about, certain plastic feels so smooth and soft, but is rigid and not slick at all, itʻs like the most microscopic velvet you ever felt, and that paired with itʻs particular luster is enthralling.
I'm 68 years old and have never been diagnosed with autism, but I am realizing that out of your 10 signs, I think I have 8 or so. My memories are pictures, I have had many intense interests, but even if I get " caught up" in another interest, I still pick up on new info about older interests. I've had 2 teachers who told me that how I think through math or other subject problems seemed opposite to the way they would solve the problem, but we each would get the correct answer. Yes, I do have a high IQ and read a lot, but growing up in the 1960s, I had no chance to be given extra work or more advanced work. I was bullied from 7th grade to even as an adult in the workforce. If only I could have known about these abilities at that time, I wonder what my true potential could have been. (All of this because I thought about how much I like to sew, quilt, weave - the FEEL of fabric on my fingers!)
The AuDHD combo is wild, let me tell you. I’ve got a rolodex of cycling special interests and cannot for the life of me be put in a box. This has resulted in my career as a freelance jack of all trades - and I mean that quite literally. I have a BFA in film making, I’m a professional illustrator, writer, actor, and a musician. I’m developing teaching materials for music theory, but I also have a license to drive a tour bus and lorries/big trucks. I do all these things simultaneously. I’ve got at least three projects going on at any given time, right now I’m juggling 6, because it’s the only way I can get anything done. I’m constantly procrastinating on at least one important project by working on another important project. When people ask me what I do for a living I try to mention only two or three of the things I’m doing, otherwise it gets to a point where it sounds like I’m lying 😅
I feel like you just diagnosed me I can relate to this so much I want to cry. How are you doing financially and in all your projects? I'm so used to people saying this isn't appropriate or sustainable but if you're happy and thriving maybe this is normal for some folks. I can't imagine only ever working with one art medium. To me all the things are related but what you just said I could have written myself.
@@Kaloapoele somehow I’ve gotten by financially. It isn’t always smooth sailing, though, and I’m privileged to have a strong support network to fall back on. This has allowed me to take some risks, like quitting a part time job this spring while not knowing if any projects would fall into my lap. Because being a free agent, in control of my own time, is essential to be able to say yes to the next potential project. In my experience, they tend to come in waves. There’ll be a time period of absolutely nothing going on, until I’m about to tear my hair out with worry about the future, when within one week I’m suddenly booked solid for the next 6 months and drowning in work. I’ve learned to roll with it and trust the work will find its way to me and to just enjoy the downtime when I can. I also say yes to everything. I’ve got a juicy part in a musical right now, and another theater group, I’ve worked with before, asked me to direct their next production. I said yes, while crossing my fingers that we could work the schedules out. Consequently, the day after the musical premieres, I’ll go right back to the start of another rehearsal period, this time directing. I’ll be dead on my feet, but I wouldn’t trade this life for anything 🤩
I can smell electric wire getting hot, 'saved' a local krispy kreme FACTORY I worked at when the display fridge plug started to heat up. I immediately stopped and made it important that we locate the source of the smell, and the manager found the hot cord right where I had stopped! Many other small talents and beautiful moments are thanks to this attention to detail!
I had a similar "wait everyone can't smell that moment"... to me people I know smell different when they're sick. Not like I can sniff out cancer, but when they're coming down with the flu or something like that. They smell 🤷🏻♀️ just different to their usual self.
I am a retired police investigator. I sucked at personnel management, but excelled at crime scene investigation. I saw details, patterns and interpreted their relevance exceedingly well, it was like I could see it happening. I was called in from my time off regularly to examine the scenes of suspicious deaths and routinely assisted the coroner with minute examinations of the bodies more as a partnership because of this. I tried to share with subordinates what I was doing. I had extensive publications on the physical signs of homicide on human bodies and shared them in an effort to educate subordinate colleagues and emphasized the need to be observant of details. When they couldn’t do so, I considered it intellectual laziness. I was diagnosed with ASD after I retired and am making sense of this now at 63. Sadly, I have extensive PTSD from 31 years of policing and can’t help but wonder if my heightened sensitivity also heightened the trauma injuries.
They do say that we are good as detectives - so that would be really aligned with your experience :) Possibly yes in answer to your last question - I'm ASD and work with a lot of trauma sufferers with PTSD and many are ASD as well, thankfully the way I work is with horses rather than in the therapy room - and I have no problem with extreme honesty of course - but I have noticed that those with ASD have a more intense recollection of the experiences, partly because of the sensitivity, the memory and the pattern forming I think, than those who don't. To the best of my knowledge, it's not been something that's widely studied, probably will be in the future as more people come through and it's recognised more that we also have more instances of domestic violence, so the PTSD will be a more "regular thing" (sadly) But also - I don't know how long you've been retired, so it could also be a little bit related to that time that you have now to process some of the events - that can also be a sometimes thing that happens. Either way, just want to say, hope you can access a place that you can decompress those a bit - it's not nice living in that space.
@@rsh793 Thanks for your thoughtful and empathetic response. I have been retired since 2016. I am spending a considerable amount of my retirement focused on inner work. Identifying being on the spectrum only occurred by working closely with a psychologist who unknown to me, is an accredited ASD diagnostician. Everything makes more sense, actually absolute sense, viewed through an ASD lens. As I released that soft portion of my psyche, when I removed my mask, what emerged was very sensitive, childlike and autistic. Relating so much to the experiences of other ND people is therapeutic and validating. Thanks again for connecting.
Are you Monk?? Jyst kidding...but his character is surely on the spectrum, besides his OCD & trauma traits which are accentuated im the series and sometimes cical. Because his skills are so good & his photographic memory for details his plle and staff work arnd his idiosyncracies abd cater to him becuz he is lovable and always means well(gets to & exposes the truth)
I am very honest. There is a woman, S, at work who made fun of me bc I was honest about a mistake I had made. I didn’t get in trouble but she said, “That was stupid. Why’d you give yourself away like that?” She is also a liar about everything. I replied, “Because when I need people to believe me in a situation where it really counts, they will.” She looked at me with her goofy bug eyes and then looked away. I think she understood what I was saying. 😏
At the point where you contrast hyperfocus for ADHD versus autism, it made me think about how my ADHD and autism conflict with each other. I have that autistic hyper focus butt like an ADHD person I flit from one hobby to the next leaving a swath of unfinished projects while at the same time being incredibly scientifically and computer literate for decades.😂 Maybe you could do a video on how ADHD and autism conflict like that?
Omg that's just like my life. i hyperfixate on everything to a point my mind just gets tired and i become a walking automaton. The process repeats until i find something to fixate into. I'd be cool to have a brain activity switch.
Pattern recognition... That can explain why while crossing the train station in Cologne, I spotted a pickpocket in action and ended up getting the police instead of eating with my ADHD husband and daughter, who didn't notice I wasn't following them anymore.
I'm my family's walking memory. When my father was dying I was overseas and my family urged me to come back quickly, not to see my father before he died (it was already too late for that; we'd seen each other before he slipped into his final coma), but because, as they told me, "Ken, you remember everything and there's so much information we need to gather and people we need to contact. Come home!"
I am the same way.. and the only people who don’t like it are my abusive family or ex abusive partners & ‘friends’ or sneaky co-workers. 🤷🏻♀️ Can’t win’em all.. 😏
Autism should never had been considered a handicap : it's a different brain architecture (actually 2, one with more connection per neuron than a neurotypic brain, one with less). For certain tasks, like pattern recognition, the one with much more connection is much more efficient than a neurotypic brain. For others task, it is much less efficient. Same for the architecture with less connection per neurons. You should look to a video called "Autism: The new view. The world is disordered" by "Neurodivergent Doctor", a youtuber who is both Neurodivergent and a clinician working with autists.
The negatives are often focused on, especially by newly diagnosed Autistics, because that is all that is focussed on when making a diagnosis. It is a draining process, traumatic even. They could do with adding some positives in there, or at the very least spinning those negatives into positives.
Yes! I have been called non-judgemental so often that I have been the go-to-guy whenever there was some deep talk about a deep personal problem that needed to be addressed, so I am kind of a therapist for people and I love it. People trust me with their deepest fears, their deepest issues, their problems, but they know that I'm not the guy they want to go to whenever they want to feel distracted, they only go to me if they have issues and not if they are happy. I am fine with that, but it also has the negative side-effect that I tend to attract people with a lot of problems that I feel obligated to solve and that has led me into some serious co-dependent relationships.
Oof, I feel you buddy. One such friend took up so much of my time and energy in college; not maliciously, and truly trying and succeeding in getting better not being like totally toxic, but... It's been a struggle with him nonetheless. He definitely has strong codependent tendencies, which I enabled slightly more than I should have perhaps, though I did maintain some okay boundaries and sense of self it was kind of stretched and led to more enmeshment than I would have liked
My grandma was having dinner with my uncle for her 90th birthday. After sitting quietly for a few mins she tell my uncle how many bricks there are in the exposed wall behind him. 😂 it's heritable, you say?
Clothing tags will send me into an almost insanity. I have nearly wrecked a car because i was trying to rip a shirt tag out. The flip side is that i can feel the difference between every grit level of sanded surfaces. Im a fine furniture carpenter. Also, the smell of laundry can either be heaven or hell. If i smell the musty thing feom clothes that sat in the washer even a few minutes too long, i go bonkers. And it freaks me out because nobody else can smell it.
The combination of high masking autism and trauma makes me notice literally every small detail, especially details pertaining to people and social interactions. Put something down an hour ago and now can't find it? I know where you put it. I know your coffee preference. I remember every detail from every conversation we have ever had. Im a social worker, and I hold a case load of about 30 people and families. I know the details of every single one of them, their circumstances and needs and barriers, things they have said, it is all in my head. I can overhear any conversation in the office and I am also sometimes able to predict the future based on my observations of peoples behaviours or conversations.
This is awesome that you’re able to identify positives from your difficult past experiences. I bet you’re a fantastic social worker! That’s a really tough job by the way so good for you 🙌
@ChrisandDebby as much as I joke that social in any form is work, i love it, and have noticed a huge amount of ND colleagues. Our strong sense of justice and creative thinking (we can usually find some kind of loophole or creative solution to most problems) and considering there are more women, we usually have mastered masking and can see through others masks, and perfectly modulate our own masks to provide what is needed in any given situation. Like a lot of people have said, these traits are so helpful in so many ways, but also so exhausting, and sometimes it would be nice to switch my brain off, or just quiet it a little.
I have a rubbish memory for everything but random stuff 😕 I walk in a place and suddenly I remember what audiobook I was listening last time I was there… or some moments in the past, what they did say to me, what were they wearing, what place, the day of the week, and the weather there was 😅😅 I don’t know if it’s odd or normal 😅
I can’t remember what I did 5 minutes ago but I can disassemble an engine, put it in a box and come back years later and effortlessly reassemble it remembering the location of every nut and bolt.
My short term memory is beyond abysmal, i have no shame in admitting it xD. Yet, im able to remember things that happened on a random fųcking day where nothing remotely important happened and i will tell you anything. Dont even get me started with aviation and car mechanics.
😄 I often experienced it the other way round: I listen to a program on the radio while walking or driving, and if I happen to listen to the same thing once again I will remember exactly where I was while they were saying this or that…
Pattern recognition is the one thing that makes any situation I am in super fun, because I feel like I am constantly putting together a puzzle. It’s like a little challenge that I have for myself: Find the right piece and the right spot. It’s so satisfying when it fits.
At my age, early 60's, learning that I have autism is helping me understand the reason I was treated the way I was growing up, my adult years, etc. I never got to actually have a 'normal' life.
@@TammyMackie I had a sister a year older than me. She was treated so different than me in school, at home and playing with friends. The friend thing sucked more than anything.
Im 18 and just starting my diagnosis journry in france. I have been researching autism since covid. I am the best at recognising patterns in my family. I have been in the same school now for 4 years. From the second day i realised that the bell (a clip of music a lot better than a loud ring) always rang 2 minutes early than the time that they said it would. In september a new teacher came and was confused by the bell ringing at the wrong time. No one else could explain it. Its amazing how much neurotypical people miss out on. I wasnt even trying to find it either i just noticed it. Ill keep you updated on my diagnosis journey. One of my teachers that came in later has an autistic son and recognised it in me. This school year she has allowed me to stim when necessary. She also allows anyone to get up when needed. 5 minutes i to a lesson i ended up laying on a table. Thanks to her i told my mum and we started the process. The wall paper on the school walls feels and looks amazing. There are little circles with lines going vertically to connect them and each row is staggered. It feels good to run my fingers along it. Also looking through the gaps in a fence when i am walking
I am learning so much about myself from your videos. In my 70s now, I had no opportunity for diagnosis before, and now its gaslighting to contend with.
Thank you so much for your support and for being here! So glad to hear that the videos are helpful for you, but that is so challenging for you to not know for so long, and I can imagine the challenges of diagnosis for you. Really hope that the next generations have more access to better information, and it helps to hear about all the experiences of adults who were undiagnosed. Also to know that we're all not alone, even if we felt that way for our whole lives before - along with being misunderstood. Really appreciate you being here and sharing this and being part of our community! And thanks again for your support of what we're doing - hope we get to hear more from you here!
Growing up i was notorious for remembering random facts about people or random things that they said years back. It would blow their minds if very single time.
Does anyone else love photography for pattern recognition and balance reasons? I love photography and I just started putting together a scrapbook recently…it brings me so much joy to find the perfect flow and visuals…❤
I have no idea why the algorithm recommended your video, but good lord, you just described my entire life. I've always been an extreme introvert, "too sensitive", and an absolute nerd about my niche interests. Now I wonder if there's a reason behind all of that.
At 42 I came across the term HSP and looking back at my childhood, I was sure I am an HSP. In my mid 30s I was in a relationship with an autistic man for five years and in all of the tests I took, I scored higher on the spectrum than him. But I dismissed the idea for the usual reasons. Two months ago I had an unusal event happening in my life and I just knew that I'm autistic. Patterns, colours, smells, I love Architecture (Bauhaus!) sounds, how things feel- I've always been extremely moved by things I like, they trigger me as if I was high (I never did drugs), wheras tasts, smells, sounds, colours I dislike or ugly, grey and dirty places, get me to a really low point or even depressed
Is one trait never being bored? There’s always something going on in my head. I’ve been told I think too much. Also what about liking to read non-fiction exclusively?
That would likely fall under 'having a rich inner world' and yes, I believe that's one possible trait. The fiction/non-fiction part, not sure, though that potentially could fall under a special interest, desire for particular (mental) stimulation, or just personal preference :)
On that last point about being nonjudgmental, I think part of it for me comes from being blind to what is often considered “socially acceptable” by my peers. I’ve never minded listening to the opinions of others regardless of how unpopular they are, as long as they don’t cross my own moral lines and into being downright cruel and malicious. I approach everyone with respect and understanding, because that’s what I would have wanted for myself. And in any interaction with anyone, I’m always tend to be rather blind to their intentions in the moment because I’m usually not paying much attention to their body language or their subtle changes in tone. I pay more attention to the content of what they’re saying than the way they’re fidgeting their thumbs or the subtle change in their facial expression. On one hand, this lack of judgment has often led me into being manipulated over the years without me realizing it until way after the fact. But it’s also wonderful because I can go into a conversation with just about anyone without any prior judgment of them, leading me to see the inherent good in just about anyone without any prior judgement based on superficial things like appearance or body language. And I’m left after every good interaction I have feeling a certain sense of wonder from the contents and depth of what was discussed, of being able to learn something new about someone else, or simply from having had such a great time with them. Anyways, if you took the time to read my own little observation about things, thanks for reading, and I hope you have a great day/night! :)
Look I never comment, but here goes nothing. I have come to suspect that I have ASD in a "high fuctioning" kind of way. This video brought tears of being seen and pain of just now really starting to realize and so many other things. I am so glad that content like this is here. From a very deep place, Thank you.
I've spent years avoiding hyperfocus unless completely alone, bcus of how much it hurts being pulled out of it by someone wanting my attention or expecting me to do something for them, even though they can or should be able to see I'm busy/not even present. That's one of the many reasons I am a hermit, bcus I can hyperfocus on my passions in peace. People are exhausting.
*Being judgmental comes from a place of insecurity, & isn’t unique to any neurotype.* I’ve seen plenty of judgmental behavior demonstrated by Autistic people, & I myself was pretty judgy in some ways before I worked through my own emotional trauma. Haha, I definitely didn’t consider myself judgmental back then, though. It was only in areas that were connected to my trauma that I had stuff to work through.
I have a weird thing I do on the weekends. Its extremely hard for me to relax, I have to be doing something constantly. But what I do is rearrange my belongings and move furniture and things around until it all comes together the way it should. It may take 100 weekends, but I'll eventually find the perfect layout for my living quarters.
I wish I'd seen this 60 years ago. It would have been life changing! Maybe we're the 'normal' ones. Seems like our brains are geared for survival. Avoid loud chewers. They might be cannibals! Lol
Can relate to so much of this. I love recognising patterns and have crazy attention to detail which comes in handy with my work as sometimes it really does come down to the detail. I can notice when someone looks different and they’ve shaved, had a haircut, changed their glasses, even when no one else seems to notice these things. I love to get right into the details, very much a bottom up thinker, if I don’t understand the details then the bigger picture doesn’t make any sense. Sometimes it’s a challenge and sometimes it’s a real gift. It’s nice to feel seen and validated❤
#8 is so real. After I visited the new home of a "friend" of mine, he decided to explode and told me he finds me absolutely insufferable for what boils down to being autistic, and especially everything you talked about there. It really sucks to no longer be on speaking terms with someone I've considered my best friend for so long, but someone who can barely tolerate me is no friend at all.
I get it though. I can sometimes barely tolerate myself. 😂 No but seriously as an autistic this level of rejection cuts us very deeply. You may obsess over it and that's common for us. You may take years to even find some relief but hopefully the day will come when it hurts less. ❤
Note on #10, I remember that when I was in college, I spent a lot of time with people that I disliked for various reasons, like gossip and gross habits. I sat down with myself and wondered why it was that I disliked these people, if I told people why I disliked them, would that make me a bully? I knew bullying is (usually) a learned behavior of copying things other people do, but how did people choose what traits were worth bullying? I was really only making conclusions with my own experiences as data; but I decided that my hatred towards certain traits (and maybe other people as well) was because I have these traits too, and I'd been subconsciously taught to be ashamed of them. Therefore bullying was an act of lashing out in self hatred when other freely express these traits they are ashamed of, though it's probably subconscious. So I should be open and respectful of other people despite my discomfort, because there was a good chance that the people around me were going through the same thing... Of course as time passes and it becomes increasingly clear that I am incredibly neurodivergent, a lot of my internal data has a bunch of asterisks on it and I'm constantly fact checking with others. Ramble over.
As a side note, I belong to the small percentage who, instead of thinking in mental imagery, have NO mental imagery. It's called aphantasia. I have no ability to 'see' things in my mind. My 'visual' memory consists of lists of details about a person or object. For instance, I can't picture my mother, but I can describe her features in minute detail because I've memorized what she 'looks' like. This is where the attention to detail is a plus. On the other hand, if I'm in a new environment, my need to memorize it in the form of word lists gets really overwhelming really quickly.
Do you see the list then as one Page/List or multiple shorter pages, or one page per Room, Person, and so on? I do not have Aphantasia. I remember everything in Pictures, either still Pictures, multiple Pictures or often also moving Pictures and even in form of a Video/film. And with this together; When I think of a Room, I see how it looked in different stages (multiple Visits) and my Words of thoughts I had at every time i was in these Rooms. This is also with every time I saw a Person, or Area of a Street and more. It is very hard to forget how something looked like, which makes it worse when you saw something very uncomfortable.
I have aphantasia and no other inner senses - sound, touch, smell, etc. Interestingly, I have heightened external senses - smells, lights, sounds, etc. which mean that I notice and remember all sorts of things. I’m also great at design and art. Visual memories aren’t needed to do well in creative fields.
Great list. Yes, the super hearing. I can hear amazingly well even as an older person. And being honest really hits me as something that caused me a lot of difficulty. Non-autistic people really don't like it. I never could understand why they weren't. It just didn't make sense to me and was a big part of why I felt so different all my life. That and seeing the patterns to the point where I often feel psychic, but it's just a matter of seeing all the pieces and knowing how the puzzle will look. I also can see the result before it's finished...in my mind. Design has always interested me too.
Ugh the sense of smell is so annoying sometimes. I often smell the tiny smell of gas when a gas dryer/furnace stops and the motor turns off and a tinnnny amount of gas exhaust doesn't vent perfectly. It makes me wonder how awful I'd experience the smell if it was an actual gas leak or something more significant!
And all along I thought I was just a person with multiple chemical sensitivities. I have had usual ability to smell since I was a child. My mother scolded me frequently for smelling my food before I would taste it - "bad manners!". When I was working in an office in east central North Carolina, I smelled smoke outside. No one else could smell it. I called the city fire department to ask if there was a fire in the area - they said No, but 3 people in the city had called with the same question. That night on TV there were news stories about a forest fire in Kentucky - mystery solved!
I was the only one who noticed a gas leak in my building, and I could pinpoint the exact place where it was. It also stopped the annoying sound coming from the furnace, too.
I get fired within 2 months from every job even though I've done the work of 2-3 ppl. The patterns I see are obvious to me but others think I'm nuts so I stopped telling them.
I LOVE designing homes, apartments, tiny houses, stores. I have probably thousands of floor plans at this point. I enjoy designing entire towns as well. I learned about blueprints for floor plans when my dad was building my grandparents home, and have been interested in it ever since. Its so fun.
I spent 8 years designing the house I now live in. I'd had no training in home design, but I knew what I wanted and taught myself various software packages (as capabilities were added). I gave the plans to a contractor and his team built it. I am now finishing up building a goat barn (12ft x 24ft) by myself. I designed and built it over a period of 3 years, as I figured out how to do a particular part, the hot weather that I can't tolerate well, and my 'advanced' years.
@F00tsie I don't known any of the new ones. I started with AutoCad ver.1! There should be s/w that has house and garden/landscaping design build in together.
Thank you so much for showing the positive side of autistic traits. I think we all get fed up of hearing about the negative side of them. I don't know if this is an actual autistic thing or not, but I can find things really easily. I have heard it described by using the phrase "Needle in a haystack," where an autistic person will say "what haystack?" That's just like me! Maybe it's the attention to detail side of things where we can see the detail of the needle really easily.
I'm much better at finding things if I don't know they're even there. That sounds completely inverted, doesn't it! I mean, for instance, if I get put in a field full of wads of sheep wool - I can spot the mushroom quite quickly. I'm in my element in the autumn! Spotting brown things that aren't fallen leaves amongst all the brown fallen leaves. If I know that a thing should be around here somewhere (like the scissors) - I'm not very good at that.
I don't see it as a strength but I noticed something really telling, and distressing, not too long ago. Does anybody else do this: When shopping online - it doesn't occur to me that there may be an option that is already perfect for my needs. I tend to look for something with the idea that I will have to modify it and, then, look for versions suited to modification. Why am I not looking for the already perfect thing? Ah, but then if we DO find the already perfect thing - woe betide it should ever get discontinued (if it's something that will likely wear out or break)... I feel like I should stock up on things. I should, whenever they're on sale, stock up. My dad had a very similar way about him. He would, any time, much prefer to adapt something he already had than look for the thing he wanted. There were some hilarious consequences. The waterproof gardening slipper booties he made were incredible.
Could you have tried to find the perfect thing a few times, perhaps spending a lot of time searching, only to not find it, or being disappointed by what seemed like it, then decided to just go straight to the 'easiest modified' versions instead of searching for the usually impossible? I don't have the confidence in myself to attempt to modify stuff, so anything I need to get I go for the nearest I can and usually end up disappointed with all the features it lacks, how it doesn't function exactly how I wish it did, how low quality it is for the price/function, etc. If I'm toying with thoughts of something but not actually committed to acting on it yet, or am waiting for other circumstances to align or similar, 'hopeful daydreaming' sort of thing, I will search for a few examples of what could work, but I can end up giving up and drawing up a design of my own then add it to a drawer in a desk, although they're more just quick sketches with the main idea/design floating around in my mind. I could potentially just be sitting in a room seemingly staring at a wall or something for several minutes to maybe close to an hour plus at times just thinking about the elements of the design. :)
In the mid 80’s my absolute favorite perfume was discontinued. I went another 30 YEARS until I found a perfume that I loved as much again. Then they discontinued it that one. I went online and literally bought every bottle on EBay and random vendors with my covid stimulus money. I have enough to actually last me the rest of my life or until I’m 80ish years old. I’m in my 60’s and set for life. NOT doing that again !!
People, especially neurotypical people won't quit judging. It's part of then autistic experience to be disliked. The sooner you embrace it, the sooner your sensibility will yield, and the sooner life will become more endurable. Neurotypicals hate feeling weirded out, and autistic people weird them out. The good part is that if you quit masking, and someone actually like you, very probably they genuinely feel for you. As autistics.we need to understand that a human being needs to be loved only by one other person. To the rest of fellow human beings, it is enough with being mutually respectful.
One manifestation of my passions is Pokémon. When I play a new version or go back to play an older version I spend days plotting out the perfect team, I study every aspect of each animal, type, look, stats, etc. and come up with the “best” team, (fun teams, emotional teams, difficult teams, rare teams, etc.). Playing the actual game is secondary to me vs the team building, I am way more excited about the time researching. My passion isn’t the game, it is researching and finding every possible combination and pattern.
The part about IQ was a bit overgeneralised. A lot of autistic people have very low IQ. And current research suggests that there is nothing out of the ordinary regarding the distribution of IQ in autistics. That being said, there could be a problem with these IQ tests being created with neurotypical standards in mind. Also, I'd imagine that a good chunk of autistic people also having ADHD might play a role here.
He might be pointing out how what is currently identified as a 'high IQ' could be contributing to autistic people with a higher IQ going longer before being recognised, so of the proportion of autistic people yet to be discovered, more of them may have higher IQ scores from being able to learn about what's 'normal' quicker than their more significant differences can be recognised by those around them, where those not identified as having a high or average IQ are less likely to have that ability due to overlap between what an IQ test tests for and whatever 'weaknesses' they might have that prevented them from learning how to mask as fast/fast enough to not have their differences noticed.
@@darleneengebretsen1468 Additionally many (especially older) IQ tests tend to test very specific forms of IQ when in fact, there are many types of intelligence as per current research. WIth that in mind, I would say that pattern recognition can apply to information so I can see a natural inclination for someone with autism to be ablle to make more lateral connections between bits of information, especially ones that might seem unrelated to other people.
I’m sorry, I had to pause the video after that story about absorbing and incorporating the hotel design at home because that is the coolest thing I’ve ever heard.
I'm 63 and finally realised who I am, unmasking is incredibly interesting! My little 4 year old granddaughter is very obviously autistic and it's a joy to accompany her on her journey. One thing that springs to mind for me is what I would call 'over-empathising' - often leads to anthropomorphism. So I've spent my life feeling sorry for inanimate objects (even considered quote marks for inanimate!) My granddaughter has a friend called Bendy Tree - a tree she loves because it isn't like the others (and hey, isn't having trees as friends also a thing??) Yesterday she said, "I'm singing to the rice to send them to sleep so they don't know when they're being cooked..." Maybe we are innately kinder than we give ourselves credit for?
I can smell a UTI 4 weeks before it will show up on a dipstick test. I had to ask a nurse I know why it wasn't blindingly obvious, and they always had to send it to a lab, can they not smell it?!?! Apparently most people can't smell it. I guess that's a super power, I'm just not sure how useful it is.
@@monicaluketich6913 remember how they told us the electron goes around the nucleus like a planet orbiting a sun? I mean, even in 1970 that had been proven wrong. Still cheeses me off.
@@vickiamundsen2933 that happened to me too! Specially the part about how long it was proven wrong. Thought I will give elementary science teachers a pass, a "probabilistic cloud" isn't something the average person can easily grasp.
Soon as you went from “hightened senses” to *animals* After talking about “life saving” I remembered we had a hand in the advent use of therapy animals roles in our society
I've definitely used, "attention to detail," in my job interviews. Just last month in fact, applying to the Emergench Department. You want the nurse that notices the random little detail that may be what's needed to save a life or make a diagnosis
1. Fixation on details 🧐 🪡 2. Diving into deep passions 🏊 3. Thinking in pictures 🖼 4. Super high senses 👂👃👀👅🙌 5. Hyperfocus 👁👁 6. Good memory 🧠 7. Recognizing patterns 🎢 8. Being overly honest 💛 9. High IQ 🎯 10. Very tolerant & mindful❣ 11. Exellent dry situational humor 😅 12. Special non-verbal communication skills for animals 🐈 and nature 🌿 13. Very good at recognizing vibes 🔥⚡❄ (positive or negative energy in the air) besides from # 4 14. Very good at expressing emotions through all kind of arts 🌈 15. Due to # 4 good recognition about changes in our body (when not being at # 5) and are more driven to take alternative medicine from nature (I often know intuitive which plant 🌱 I need to take) 16. Very creative - with all kind of stimmings 🤸♀️🤹🛀 17. Able to see far beyond the horizon 🌠 because we can be lost in space and time 18. More awake because we need less sleep 😇 19. Good thinkers because our brains are always running and in action 😁 20. Very resilient 💪because every day is a new challenge for us and we have already mastered so much in a life that was not built for us 21. Very modest 👣 because our brains don't focus on superiority, novelty and exitement 22. Good teachers 👩🎨 for we know what is essential in life 😊
Cool addition and a lot of them are probably common, but as with some in the video, some of them are also commonly the opposite for other autistics, such as the sleep one😅 I wish i didnt need as much sleep butt ive generally always needed more sleep than others :)
@@enbiez Thanks for your kind response, Riah. Lots of us have sleeping issues of all kinds. Speaking for myself I have always been a night owl, as a child because of anxiety and terrible nightmares and as an adult consiously chosen because it's the only time somehow quiet and I enjoy the silence to be more creative. - During my 20-30 yrs. I had terrible sleeping issues and sometimes I only slept 1 or 2 hours and then had to go to work. - When a day has been very overwhelming, my body needs of course more rest. I would say it's good that you need more sleep because it's at least healthier 😉
I agree with all the perks and I actually found a way to monetize my honesty. Also, a lot of your clues are consistent with the monotropism theory of autism, which is a fascinating concept for me, are you familiar with it? If not I highly recommend checking it out
Yes!! We just did a video last week about monotropism - if you check it out, let us know what you think! Also find it very intriguing. Autism & Monotropism: The Autistic Advantage? ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-wGxP5f5RBTo.html Also awesome about figuring out how to make honesty work well in your profession! 👍 Would be fun to learn about how many autistics manage to turn our “differences” into careers
@@ChrisandDebby oh great! I’m new to the channel, will definitely check it out, thanks for the link! And yes, I agree, that would be so interesting to see!
A weird thing I used to notice was when a fly was buzzing around the room, I could smell it. It wasn't in a normal way. I repeatedly moved my tongue up and down in my mouth, compressing the air against the roof of my mouth, and it produced a certain distinct smell/flavor. My hearing has always been good, too.
Seeing the details first is a survival skill. Two cavemen walking down the path, the one who survived is the one who sees the snake. Pattern recognition, the spots in the tall grass become the out line of a tiger. My eye could frame it's fearful symmetry, and the normals are kibble. I always said one of my best assets is the ability to side step. Conclusion, we need more snakes and tigers.
Years ago when gay marriage was still illegal in my state I figured out through observation that a gay coworker had gotten married. The look on his face when I asked him😂😂😂. 'You are so damn observant' was what he said when he got over the shock. Since I knew he was hiding the fact he was gay I figured I should buy them a wedding gift. That gift is an entire story on its own😂.
I have aphantasia and honestly can’t imagine having pictures or sounds in my head all the time. It sounds so distracting. I have a great memory - maybe because I need to store the details without being able to see or hear them in my head 🤷♀️
And that’s sort of insulting to be honest. I have a very high IQ, graduated with honors, and have a job that requires a good memory for detail. There are many modes of thinking. We just have to be open to learning about each other. Until recently, I assumed that counting sheep was a figure of speech and that flashbacks in movies were just shown like that for special effect. We’re all learning here.
@heidiyoung1508 I guess I asked how such people think since I realized I didn't know that people can think without visualizing hey. I also said it in my "brutal honest autistic person way" since most people here understand that we can be like this. There's no insult coming with it. No one in my whole educational history during life ever said in class: "no teacher, I can't imagine an apple." and no teacher ever said to those who can't see pictures to please think like this or that. Why would no one ever say "mam, I can't see pictures in my head, what do you mean?" If the whole system is set up to talk and function that way, I find it very very very strange to only find this out now. So based on the education system in the world, why would it never have been corrected or is it not common knowledge taught in schools? To help people function better. It should be logical. That just blows my mind. And a high IQ has nothing to do with being better or more intelligent than someone else. You can have high skillset in one area and then zero IQ in other areas. Why take offense of an autistic person's way of honest shocked question if you are so open to the idea of knowing that you know little? I never said people who can't see visuals in their head are stupid. I appreciate the people who gave me an actual answer to my question since I would not have asked if I didn't want to know.
I'm just at the beginning of the video, but the bottom-up thinking and wallpaper example made me think about how much I love macro photography. I walk around taking pictures of bark, moss, rocks, detail in fabric, etc. They're my favourite subjects 💜
@@vickiamundsen2933Sadly i ended up with a BA and a law degree. When I went to university females were far and few between in science (friend of mine was so harassed she switched to languages), engineering and architecture. I actually wanted to take acting (great masking skills here) but the high school councillor lied and said I couldn’t in first year. Anyway, I hated law and ended up never practicing. I was a legal editor for a human rights publication (we published decisions). That was at least interesting. Retired now and finally enjoying life completely. I take musical theatre classes! 😂
I once remembered the name of a person I had only spoken to over the phone ten years earlier, simply because I remembered seeing her name on a caller id one time when she called.
People sometimes accuse me of being judgmental when in my opinion I'm just stating facts/things I observe. I often times still don't get it right away when people are suddenly defensive about something I pointed out - it really confuses me.
I get the sense that it comes down to both phrasing and the other individuals interpretation of that phrasing. This is easier to understand in professional environments where there's usually some sub-text that people are speaking informationally, but in personal context, that's usually far less. Seems like a lot of it comes down to combining the feeling of hearing the thing with the factuality of the thing itself. Or something like that; I admit, it's still somewhat elusive for me as well at how readily and common it is for the various emotions to mix and cloud with the observations (and statement of those observations).
Memory: I couldn't tell you what I had for lunch on Wednesday of last week, but I know facts about animals and and nature that blow my BFF's mind. She has affectionately nicknamed me The Repository of Useless Information...and she consults the repository regularly 😅 Oh ADHD brain here.
Hello. I feel that man's advent of Dog. Was brought along of course through mutual benefits to one another. If multiple dimentions exist. And more then five senses are required to experience them from the pitch instead of the stands. Perhaps instinctively man knew that dogs helped them experience compound senses. Or...... Every animal...😎🤓☕ Good luck.
A clue you might be autistic, is if you think you're not autistic for very specific reasons, and "for some reason get along really easily with autistic co-workers." At least that was the main way how I found out, lmao! Also, having a specific structured and pattern way of thinking to navigate social interactions. I found out I'm autistic, because I was describing to my friend the extremely specific flow chart in my head that I use for every social interaction I ever have. I thought everyone did that! Nope! I'm just autistic x)
I’m ADHD & Autistic, so I’m capable of hyper focusing pretty impressively, but I think my ADHD brain helps take the edge off of getting interrupted. Usually, anyway 😜
Every time I see people bring up the “visual thinker” aspect of autism, I always get a little jealous. I love design and writing stories, but instead of being a visual thinker, I’m aphantasiac. I have to use work arounds to visualize designs I think of or characters and settings of a book I’m writing. Especially when writing, I actually use The Sims A LOT. I’ve created the looks for characters in there and I’ll decorate scenes to give myself a visual representation of where the characters are at. I’ll build their homes, build their workplaces, locations they frequent, and save screenshots of all of it to a Milanote so I can look at them while writing. It works perfectly for me, but it would be so much easier if I didn’t have to go through extra steps to see the scenes and characters I’m writing. For reference and for those who don’t know, aphantasia is a lack of a mind’s eye. We obviously still think, but everyone who is aphantasiac experiences it differently. For me, when I try to think of things, I can’t visualize them, but my mind will quickly run through words that describe the thing. Like if I think of an apple, my mind will run through a list “round, shiny, red, fruit, stem, leaf, crunchy, sweet”. If I think of a character I’m writing, I’ll just think of descriptors. Unfortunately, the same goes for even people I know. I can’t visualize my fiancé’s face despite living with him and seeing him all the time, but when I think of him, I just get a list of things that describe him. Again, everyone with it can experience it differently, but that’s how it works for me.
Here’s my sense story…. My dog had a smell in her breath that smelled like infection. (TMI, sorry) … I took her to the vet. The vet said she couldn’t find anything wrong. I said, but I can smell it so strong. She agreed to take my dog and look with a scope down her throat. She was shocked to find a stick stuck deep in her throat that was causing the infection smell. It was validating in a weird way. I call it my Super Sniffer! Of course… it has a down side LOL
I don't know what to think because I think I am autistic (waiting for official diagnosis) and so many traits match but I have completely shit memory and I'm totally a people pleaser and am too scared to tell the truth if it can bother someone (I can't lie though so I just keep quiet or go around it somehow) :/ Wish I could speak more openly and have a great memory as many autistics
On honesty. When I was in graduate school, professors would have me read their papers because they knew I would give them honest feedback. On the other hand, because of my blindness to hierarchy I was honest even with professors at the top of the pecking order. This did not help me. I think I made everyone nervous--the other students and the professors. I wasn't playing by the same rules. I certainly knew that there were rules, but had figured out eons earlier that trying to follow these rules was a losing proposition. They were hard enough to figure out, much less keep in mind. Besides, these rules generally placed social acceptability above honest communication. And I just think that's wrong.
The visual one is really not me.. I've got aphantasia so all I see is black. And also Alexithymia. (I think you mention it in another video? Both are far more common among us on the spectrum than NT's.
I’m often frustrated when a narcissist is passing as a good person and has a following. When people can’t see the empower isn’t wearing clothes I’m very upset.
I have hyperfocus most of the time, every time I focus on something really, so it becomes difficult to notice other things happening around me at the same time. When I went to school in my earlier years, I could focus and listen to the teacher, but I couldn't take notes at the same time because that was distracting me from hearing what the teacher said. I can focus on writing, or listening, but not the same time.
