Thank you for watching! ❤️ Which conversation habit you find rude? And if you want to find out How To Deal With Rudeness In An Elegant Way, then watch this video: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-LCA1cBaB4KI.html
That has to be one of my biggest pet peeves. My boss does this to me all the time...she will ask me a question about something and I’ll start responding and she’ll cut me off...
@@eggegg8181 yes! Why did they even ask, except to tell their own story?! The only person who is allowed to do this is my grandpa because he always says cool, quality stuff I can learn from. 😂
When someone asks mw something, I answer, and after a while maybe that day or another that same person asks me the very same question cause he/she didn't pay attention at first and just asked to seem concerned.
Just try not to put much comments and try to find something interesting in the conversation and tell them it reminds u of something and start discussing stuff together
Anna Bey has really made me enjoy being a woman and leaning into my femininity. In a strange way, focusing on being feminine & elegant has helped me to manage the stress of this pandemic.
This is exactly how my journey is going as well! I became interested in femininity and elegance right before the start of the pendamic. Engaging and practising this subject really helped me manage my stress levels, and kept me occupied while learning something valuable!
I know, me too! It has helped me feel productive - like I used this time for personal development and to become more polished. Like being a butterfly LOL
When it comes to how long you should talk: Stop after you have presented a new idea or perspective. Even if you only said 5 words. When you present new information then people want to respond to it. If you don't stop talking and let them respond then you're being rude. This is a sign that you only want to hear yourself speaking and no one else actually needs to be there for that. They will get bored and leave you.
This this this. People these days... Our attention span can really only handle one or two clauses at a time to convey a single point. Once the one sentence or point is finished, people believe it's their turn.
Key take-home - be an active listener. Respect the other person enough to allow them time to speak and ACTUALLY listen to what they have to say, and take an interest. You will more often than not, learn something new.
Please, are they worth your precious time and energy? I have no respect or tolerance for someone that rambles on incessantly. Sometimes yawning is nothing about the other person it’s just that either you’re tired and you’re bored
@@sunshine2049 well that's when I would try and find out what they're most passionate about. People light up if you find out what makes them really excited. I guess I aim to bring that out in people when I meet them. Having said that, you are right about time and energy bring precious. Setting those boundaries is important, particularly when you already know if someone is an energy "vampire".
I have a memory of being in college and speaking to a girl in my class. Right in the middle of our conversation, she walked away from me. I remember feeling stunned at her rudeness. I also self-reflected, thinking that maybe I said something offensive, but no, I was just asking if she liked the course so far. Rude!
My old boss was just like that. Did exactly the same to me in the middle of me talking to him in front of a big group. Totally socially unaware and inept 🤦
@@vinvinsubs there are people out there who will call themselves very elite class and very affluent people just because of the cast or money.... But their habbits and character say opposite. They are jealous, and insecure because of which they hurt other people and they also get happy if another person is suffering certain way. That's what I meant.
My ex use to "monologue" all the time, especially when I was trying to have a serious conversations with him. It was just one of the many reasons why I broke up with him. Yes extremely frustrating.
@@cityfairy6342 Women aren’t rehabilitation centers or substitute parents for adults. I see many red flags in OP’s comment. He wouldn’t have responded well to criticism. It is not on OP to make him into a better human.
@@hotjanuary I understand. What I meant is that it's always adult-like to communicate what bothers you in the other person, even without the intention of making them a good person.
@@cityfairy6342 I bet she’s tried many times before finally giving up. Women are socially conditioned to coMmuNiCate and try to fix things, giving endless amount of chances, instead of putting up hard boundaries of cutting people loose after they do it again when you told them you don’t like it.
@@hotjanuary yes, women by nature lean more towards maintaining relationships and nurturing them, which in my opinion is not a bad quality to have. This quality, however, should not come between a woman and her dignity and self-respect.
At a party, I would like tips on how to when appropriate politely disengage from a conversation with one person so as to continue to mingle among all the party guests.
After 10 minutes (give or take) simply excuse yourself to allow conversation with others. Most people won’t take it personally and appreciate your polite exit
I am a man but I watch your every single video. You are so intelligent and you have some kind of heartwarming brightness around you. I wish you all the best.
My fifth grade teacher would yell at us when we didn't cover our mouth when we would yawn. She would be like "no one wants to see the inside of your mouth!" 😂 from that day on I always covered my mouth
Another one: don't interrupt. I do it all the time and I feel terrible, sometimes I really can't help it, but I know it is rude and I instantly feel bad. I just never know when can I start talking, sometimes it is difficult when everyone has something to say. So I do it but I hate myself for doing it. So don't do it, ladies.
I understand you, because I have been there. That's what I did too improve: Try speaking much less and don't fear looking boring because of it. On the opposite, it will make you look much more interesting. You can notice that in the movie "The Tourist"- Angelina Jolie is barelly speaking and yet she is hipnotising. Also, try asking more questions instead of giving opinions and telling your stories. That's how people realize you are actually listening to them. I hope it helped you! And I'm sorry for my english, I'm still learning
wow! that is ME as well Lu! I get so excited sometimes to get my point across and don't want to lose my train of thought or momentum and wind up interrupting the other person! I keep trying to be more aware of this yet i keep doing it!!
I do this too, unfortunately. I forget things very easily when talking to someone, especially when it's a person who rarely ever stops to take a moment to catch their breath when talking about themselves, so I have a bad habit of jumping in so I can have a turn to speak and not forget what I have to say. In reality, it's okay to forget and it's more important to listen to what the other person has to say. My grandmother would forget things and remember them much later in the conversation. Hope this helps!
Pet peeve: Demonstrating to me that your phone is more important to you than I am. If that's the case, then don't waste my time to begin with. I don't want to play second fiddle to your phone.
I hate that too! Especially when they stop listening at all and interupt me in the middle of a sentence to tell me something they just saw on facebook...
I wondered why people have to always have their phone in their hand? ...even visiting someone in their home,..it just seems rude and unnecessary ..people did have lives before smart phones.
It is also important to remember there are very mean nasty jealous people out there who actually do all of these things to bring you down. See it,realize it and keep your distance from them. Not everything is a accident.
I have ADHD, and I work extremely hard to make sure that I actively listen, engage, and remember what others are saying without interrupting. I also try to say interesting things, and if someone's body language or facial expressions begin to signal boredom, I immediately switch topics. Needless to say, if someone displays the rude behaviors listed here to me-especially a person who is not neurodivergent and does not need to work nearly as hard as I do-I choose to avoid that person in the future.
I am on the autism spectrum and I sometimes feel like I will never be able to fully master everything said in this video despite my best efforts :/ Sometimes it makes me a bit sad that people don’t even seem to try to be more understanding towards those who are neurodivergent, but that might be because those are often invisible conditions. But well, what can we do other than just trying our hardest and hoping that we’ll encounter some pleasant people? :)
At least you try. My ex-best friend has ADHD and instead of taking accountability for her social ineptitude, she would say I was too sensitive. She also is dating someone who went to jail for raping his ex, another ex has a restraining order against him, but she called me manipulative when I said if she didn't do a background check, I was out of the friendship. GoAlZ.
Thank you so much for saying this, I also have ADHD and I also have worked on actively changing those things. A young girl with ADHD made a tik tok about how she Just learned that it’s rude to tell a story about yourself in a similar predicament when someone wants to talk to you about an experience they had and I responded explaining why it’s not ok to do that and how to change that and the comments were filled with people saying “well I have ADHD it’s just the way my brain works, it’s not my fault” when yes you absolutely can change that, you just have to become aware of it and work at it. having ADHD doesn’t mean you’re physically unable to stop making things about you 😂😂😂 even after explaining i used to do the same thing, have ADHD and it’s absolutely possible to stop doing that with effort. I gave up and said well if that’s just who you are and don’t see an issue with it, keep doing it but don’t be surprised or have hurt feelings when no one wants to talk to you or avoids you at all costs
Thank you for sharing this. I teach students with special needs and I when I heard some of these suggestions, I thought about them. I take this information with a grain of salt. Do what works for you. People who WANT to understand will ❤️
Great video! With the fear of sounding like an old spinster, I also consider couples, who are either my guests, or hosts, who are kissing each other in front of others, as being rude. Especially in the middle of a conversation..
Yes, I know some couples like that. When they are out with other friends, they act as if no one else is present around them and go smooching. Very silly and rude! Not surprisingly, I don’t miss them at all these days
If you can, feel the person’s energy. I can absolutely feel it when someone is not listening, it can be subtle or a sudden shift. I can’t explain it, but I can feel it and sometimes their eyes don’t blink as much or their face is more stoic.
Exactly! Very obvious energy when someone is not listening. I used to just stop talking mid-sentence. I don't want to chit-chat just for the sake of making noises.
Yes we can often sense it, but look at it from their perspective. They would like to get out of the conversation but just don't know how. So they freeze up.
Honestly, nothing disappoints, and angers me more when someone keeps playing with their phone while we're having a conversation 😩 I have this problem with many of my friends, especially when we're watching a movie 😑 it's extremely disappointing 🤦
I grew up in a family that never listened when I talked. They would interrupt me or “walk all over my words”. And even my friends would do the same. I never learned to stand up for myself and be heard unless I interrupted everyone or if they took a breath I jumped in just to be heard. I still do this and I know it’s rude but I feel so deeply about wanting to be heard I can’t help it. Help!!! My tiny voice gets lost in a crowd & I end up leaving the conversation and just eat the anger of never being heard.
I totally relate to this! I don't think interrupting is always rude, especially if no one listens to you. Sometimes you need to be assertive to gain respect. I find that once you just start talking about yourself more, people are forced to listen to you and they learn to treat you more equally. Don't apologise for this. Being too agreeable will only cause you to be treated like a doormat and can lead to you only attracting narcissistic people in the long run - this is dangerous! This is why I don't think her rules always apply to a lot of women. I think her rules are more useful for people that have too much masculine energy and need to tone down their aggression.
Hi Anna, I’d love to see a video where you talk about how to dress elegantly in your early 20’s. I find it so difficult to dress elegant without looking old😭
For example, if you like the elegant midi skirt style, wear the midi skirt! I think the key is staying with classic colors or fun prints that look young (not grandma prints!), at least that's what works for me.
For those who monologue away due to a worry that they need to keep the conversation "interesting" - you are not 100% responsible for the flow of the conversation. These words from a wise person I know have changed my life! Well, are still changing it! Thank you Anna, I have still a lot to learn from you!
I find out that when I think somebody's talk isn't make sense with my belief & my life, I become bored. The solution I found is to pay attention to things I can learn from their stories and ask questions about things that can make me curious about them, in this way I stay passionate along the conversation.
I used to work with someone who would take every single phone call when she was talking to people with her. Sure, some calls are more important than others and you have to take them but I always used to feel that answering the phone every few minutes when somebody is trying to talk to you is the height of rudeness.
Hey Ana! Came here just to say again how I am grateful that I learn a lot of things from you❤️! I've got my new dream job thanks to the things I improved like manners, talking, posture, elegance, good communication! From all the candidates, they were most impressed by me and my positive energy and aura!
@@a.b.2405 Wishing you a good luck🤗❤️🍀 Few tips: Just be yourself, show your harisma, try to impress them why you're more unique than other candidates, be enough confident, prepare like you're going on a first date. Shine! 🤗
I'd really love some tips about how to finish a conversation smoothly, when you want to speak to several people during the course of an event. How to make people know and feel that you have appreciated the conversation, and not wonder if you have left because you are bored. Does that make sense?
You could say.. "it was lovely talking to you,excuse me I need to powder my nose " or I need to refresh my beverage..And give them a warm smile and handshake?Just an idea
Hi I had a tip that has worked when I have used it. It is bring the conversation to something in the future. Eg if they were talking about a upcoming event. Say something like I look forward to hearing all about that. At the same time point feet away from them. I found this seemed to wrap things up nicely an made it smooth to move on.
Thank you for the tips! ❤️ I try to share a conversation equally with all participants. If 2 people are conversing, each talks about 50% of the time. If 3, each talks ~33%, etc. Doesn’t always work out that way but it keeps me self-aware. And I trying to engage those who may not feel as comfortable expressing their thoughts. It’s a work in progress!
I'd love a video on elegance during college times. How to feel and look elegant and sophisticated during probably the most economically stressful time of their life? Sending you love
I'm in college with two small children. I instead of buying drinks I save up a couple dollars here and there. When my tax return comes in, I pay off my insurance for the year. Then I go thrifting in the affluent neighborhoods for the best quality clothes I can find. I don't just buy something cheap because its on sale. I also hand dry my clothes. It saves my clothes from wearing out and it saves at the laundromat. I also meal plan . I go to the dollar store so I can save money on things. There is great glass wear that looks great but isn't exspensive.
Focus on elegance in your habits, personality etc be mindful of how to dress but don’t stress over having all designer clothes or anything like that. Focus on clothes that fit well and look like quality materials! This is what I am doing (I am 18 and starting University in the fall!)
The first of Anna's videos I watched was one on how to walk like an elegant lady. I don't remember what the exact title was but I subscribed. Now I feel more confident when I walk and my posture has been more feminine. I used to be a tomboy 😃 I've been following more of her videos as well. Thank you so much, Anna. You can't imagine how much impact you're making. I love you! Halima from Nigeria.
56 comments in 5 min! Wow 🤩🤩 I also would suggest a video about how to behave when being introduced to someone. Ex: standing when someone arrived, shaking hands and keeping eye contact to build trust, showing interest.
I think she has mentioned this in a video before. You can just actually say goodbye/okay, I'll catch yp eith you later, all conversations end at some point, the other person is prolly waiting for you to end it and it's not rude to actually excuse yourself when u run out of things to talk about.
I’m definitely the type of person who naturally looks more closed off or unapproachable, so thank you for these tips 💗 also the fidgeting / playing with hair point really hit home, that’s something I have done a lot usually if I feel a bit awkward. Loving your videos Anna 🌸
"do not play with your hair" THANK YOU! i always hated people who plays with hair when someone's talking or just sit next to you. it makes me nervous and uncomfortable with the person. i'm glad you put it as a rude habit.
Not super fun to be the one with the hair problem either! For me, it’s an anxiety thing, so I’ve been working on it with my therapist but It’s really hard when that’s where it’s coming from.
@@thegillmachine in this case i would understand it, but i knew people in school who played with hair just because thet were bored! I totally get your point because for anxiety i bite my nails a little and then i move my legs up and down but i try to control it. It's hard but i'm managing this!
@@roberta93 I suppose it makes it more understandable, but I’m learning that even if you have anxiety it is always better to reflect and work on your habits! I didn’t mean to come off as arguing, just wanted people with anxiety to read my comment and see that they can get help!
I went to a local dance recital and a woman in front of my family was fidgeting with her hair a lot. She even braided it and took the braid out at one point! And she was defiantly old enough to know better and not a pre teen or something.
Anna's elegance shows in every way, but most importantly, in her heart, mind, and soul. My guess is those were the foundations of her journey. I guess they can be taught? It would be nice to think so.
In case anyone wanted to know, its actually very easy to yawn with your mouth closed, it feels more like you're allowing the top of the roof of your mouth to expand and then let the yawn fall down your throat. Hopefully that's a good idea of the sensation. I had to learn this for choral performances and its actually been super helpful and easy to avoid yawning in public now so I hope you try!
Once I yawned during a university class (accounting) and my professor seriously embarrassed me in front of the class 50+ people. I never yawned again 😂 learned this the hard way.
@@bathemeinchampagne indeed it was a tough time, working full time and studying. I was very tired. He knew I was working btw. However I get why he was like that.
I have a problem with talking too much. I will admit that I use monologues more than I’d like to admit but now that it has come to my attention I’m really trying to get better and making a conscious effort not to talk too much in a conversation and really let the other person speak. Sometimes I talk a lot to prevent the conversation from getting too boring or from it becoming awkward. Can anyone else relate lol?
I’m really thankful for these points, because I do almost everything of it. But in the other hand I’m so bad at socializing and I’m really thankful if a person shows me that I’m note liked by them in a mild way. Because if someone is just polite at seems interested because of it, I’m more hurt and disappointed afterwards, because I think that they like me
It’s so difficult to hear that many of my symptoms of ADHD are considered rude. I don’t want it to hold me back but it’s very difficult not to fidget. I have managed to learn to be very attentive to whether people are overstimulated by me in conversation but focusing is not something I can turn on and off, and fidgeting helps to stimulate the brain to focus, that is why we do it, it’s a compulsion…
I have ADHD as well. Truly and sadly, there is still a stigma around it, and many people view our symptoms as moral failings. Don't let it get you down! We're all doing our best out here xx
I have the same thing, maybe you could fidget in a way that isnt obvious. For example: instead of moving your whole leg, you could move your toes. This is something that mostly is not visible. I hope you find something that works for you. But dont ever dismiss your ADHD, its okay to have it, it makes you you and thats what counts.
7:40 Those are called micro expressions, or even more specific, "Dupers Delight." In their head they are recreating the situation in their head while taking in the joy of your downfall. Also, anyone who takes delight in someone's negative experience, usually means they're insecure with themselves, they feel inferior, and intimidated with the person talking. These are the friends you need to clip from your circle. In the end they are using you. They need you to fail for them to feel elevated. You need people who support you and your desires.
I'm sorry to hear some people enjoyed hearing when you had a hard time with something Anna. That made me sad. Thanks for being open and for being you. Good video 😘
I suspect these good habits also put us in our power, in a reserved, elegant and feminine way... though they would work for anyone. That is something that I greatly need in conversation. I get walked all over, interrupted, not allowed to finish, and then I escalate to try and stand my ground - or I become enthusiastic in other types of conversations and I'm overbearing on the other person without meaning to be! THIS is what I need. To be in a sense of power, and in real, grounded, abiding, authentic, appropriate personal, classy power, in a calm way. (I had this at a couple of points in my life, didn't understand it and lost it along the way! Now I understand it better, and consciously here!) Huge. Thank you so much as always, Anna!
I've just watched Avatar with my son and I haven't seen it since it first came out ... the "I See you" line they use is so powerful. That's the energy we'd ideally hold when talking to a person. I agree with all points and might add being dismissive or talking over a person to the list. Looking forward to the next video. Thank you 🌼🌸🌼
Ooh I hope this helps me as I am autistic. I have zero network=net worth. As in no family, friends in the flesh and i was ghosted on valentine's day. Maybe I should stop being so polite because I'm not sure what I am doing wrong. Thank you so much for this!
Yes this helps people with autism I have it too. Yes I found when I tried to much I think I scared people away. It was only once I realised I was autistic that I was masking and I than just said what I wanted instead trying to people please people seemed better with me. Maybe they sense I'm being more myself I dnt no.
Thank you for the video. Another rude habit I always witness when they speak two languages and they switch to their language and ignore those who cannot understand it.
Thank you for this video, Anna!! I am 20 years old and I am focused on becoming more self aware and conscious of my bad habits. You help me do so regularly. Many I have never even thought of or considered their rude implication. Thank you for your content!!
Where I'm from people generally speaking aren't extremely talkative, but I've met people who have the monologue mentality even if they aren't as loud or out-spoken. Upon meeting they won't ask about the other person, but once you encourage them to speak they have trouble finishing.
This why I’ve avoided joining the breakout room conversations on Zoom. I never get a chance to speak. I’m placed with too many monologue type individuals who talk too much and seem too important
When I 1st started her videos I thought it was ridiculous but the more I watch the more I appreciate her for letting us know what other people wont tell us!
As someone who lives in a foreign country, I would like to add: *please, make yourself understandable by others* (where by "others" I mean "non natives"). I do love accents/dialects, and I think they are an enrichment to language and culture, but try to understand that for some people even standard language might be not clear enough sometimes. Learning a language is a big effort and make sure the other person is actually able to follow you 😊 maybe yes, I would genuinely like to listen to your monologue, if I only could
Brilliant! I was just saying to myself today that I needed to master the art of conversation and find videos on conversational etiquette. Opened RU-vid and here it was.
I agree! But there is a time and place for everything. A chatty coworker striking up a conversation with me while I’m working with a patient is extremely rude on their part. There’s a balance and it’s okay to show you’re disinterested sometimes.
This are some great tips! It's so great to have this kind of tips.. Great to apply even in a work environment.. As you always say: your network is your networth. Thank you Anna for another amazing video❤
Hi I am a Asian woman who try to blend in British society. Could you please make a video about how I can transfer my outlook to be more confident and comfortable. Thank you very much
If your at an event, one thing I saw someone do and started doing myself was to introduce the person to someone else. Sort of like “ your line of work sounds really interesting I need the perfect person for you to speak to...” *walk them to someone else and introduce the two and slowly move away*
I'm so glad you discussed this subject. I have a friend who absolutely monopolizes all conversations. I would love to know how to bring this to her attention without spoiling the friendship or hurting her feelings.
Tell her you have learned from an online mentor and watch this video with her. Laugh and say omg that is me when it comes to something like yawning, [if it feels appropriate] but when Anna gets to the monopolizing part, laugh and say omg that is you.
I love all of this, the main struggle I have, however you would never know as I fight internally and silently with this, is having ADHD. I use breathing techniques to supress the urge to fidget. Thank you Anna Dearest.
No, an elegant lady does not make invasive demands. If Anna wishes to share, she will but it best not to ask because she might be put in an uncomfortable position of saying no. Same thing with her husband's face. Some people want a face reveal. That is invasive. My favourite cook Maangchi was asked for a fridge tour. Invasive and bizarre. I hope you dont mind me correcting you. 😘😊
@@simonefabiane9562 salam sister i did not mean it as a demand I typed that i feal but you are right maybe she will be put in uncomfortable positions and that whas not wath I wanted and Im glad u corect me because in the end we all here to learn right 🙂
@@girlthis9759 thank you :) yes ofc I will take it positive there is no reason to take it negative feedback are there to help us improve ourself and help us se when we do wrong or mistakes
Omg the smiling one got me, I have a friend who during different situations never had the appropriate expression and I have spoken to her about it multiple times but she replies with “ohh I’m trying to divert your attention and trying to make you feel better”. when flying back from a trip with this “friend”. While fixing my earring during the landing of the plane my earring fell and despite panicking I thought I would wait until we land and then started to ask the people behind me and was looking at the bottom of the seat with my phone torch as it was dark my “friend “ was laughing and giggling and started recording me literally on the verge or tears as the earring was special to me. Even when asking the crew she was laughing the whole time, long story short our friendship has never been the same as when we came back she shared that video and continued to laugh about this experience of mine.saying it was just an earring.
Love this one!! It's interesting because when I interact with women (for the first time), I read them. I tend to keep conversation brief to see if they'll require or ask for more, therefore preventing many of these examples from happening. I always believe less is more and mystery works. I guess I'm going against that because I just typed more words in this comment that needed...haha!
I so agree with you on everything you said. If I am invited into someone's home or to a cocktail party, the phone doesn't come out at all. Not unless I am taking photos (and that is at family holidays only). I use to go around the country, Canada and Europe on business, so I would take the point of view that there is always something likeable about everyone, you just have to find it. That always helped me cope with meeting new people, letting them talk and not being center stage. God knows I did enough talking when I was doing product demonstrations or training. It was always nice to take a break from talking to let others talk, everyone is interesting, if you tell yourself it is so. Thanks again, Anna.
Thank you for sharing Anna! So many people don't even realise they're being rude when they do these things, specially the yawning while I'm talking. Now that I know, I'll make sure I don't do any of these things.
