10 Signs You are Emotionally Immature | Is Emotional Immaturity a Mental Disorder? 

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🤣good1

Lol

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@Morag Magic Perfect and complete description of NPD.

On a bad day I admit I am 25% emotionally immature. Dang.

How many of these signs someone should exhibit so he/she is officially considered as emotionally immature?

1, 4, 7, 8... oof

People with cluster B personality disorder are also emotionally stunted so these characteristics may apply to them. So this list can be used to detect toxic people as well.

You would have bypassed this video if that were true.

Eerst een slok water nemen dan?

water drinker Yeah me too.

Nobody on the planet is perfect; but a lot think they are!

@@verenigingvandemagogen4548 Een slokje Vodka misschien.

Very good

Adhd?

That took a huge spin…

Lol

Happens a lot. It’s why children are supposed to take a long time to grow up. They mature correctly that way

You is woke becuz you is a Bible reader 😍

I was just just thinking that besides teenagers emotional immaturity is one of the signs of alot of different mental and emotional problems.

especially women...happy wife, happy life. if your wife is not happy emotionally and financially chaos in the family

@@franciscofco Naw, I woke her a-s up

@@loonylinn8824 That is the truth

thank you!!

My mother, too

My 1st daughter.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?????!!!!!

@@bjarnyg 🤣

At least you're not having number 10 :)

The saving grace is that this is not my common baseline state. Like the last one is eight years ago, when I got fed up with a man who fits a profile of NPD as projecting his actual misdeeds done to me and others onto me as committing all these heinous actions, but without mentioning the persons whom I had supposedly mistreated. I think perhaps that his goal was to place enough threats on me that he could increase his control over me as being faced with an authority whom others would believe over me. None of the people mistreated were accessible to me to counter his claims, if he decided to smear me. He eventually did that via phone tree globally so I could not find another school or teacher to accept me. This included flying monkeys stalking me from the west coast to the east coast, and north to south on the west coast from Seattle to southern California looking for a school or teacher. Essentially, he told me to leave but would not let me go to find my own way or receive an education I deeply desired. He kicked me out, but left me nowhere else to go. So control by very long leash accomplished. He also as filed a civil stalking complaint against me by a method of creating a SLAPP suit to gag me about what I knew and suspected about the advanced-degree Buddhist education college he founded, and his “ secret consort” practices and raped nuns (😳). I could not afford a lawyer, and of course all the witnesses were his employees or grad students. I am now socially branded as now bearing a lifetime, publicly accessible civil stalking order against me. He maneuvered this to eventually become weaponized as one of several methods he uses to coerce me. As he has since disintegrated and spiraled into depravities such as money scams, alcoholism, promiscuous sex, and manipulating especially vulnerable female students to the point of agora phobia and psychotic breaks. I did two things: 1) occasionally mentioned that he might consider a “life coach” when he showed restlessness with his current career path - the subtext being to get him in the door of the mental health system without a red flag with a friendly sounding professional; 2) hold out as long as I could when I recognized that he was preparing to discard, in hopes it could come out as his leaving me so as to free myself from any expected return. It appears that I failed at the second one, when he drew me in to be able to use the civil order against me, if he became displeased with me. Beware the jabberwalky *and* the narcissist, my friend. The suit forbids me to speak of these events, by the way. This happened in Oregon. Let this statement I am making stand as proof Civil disobedience is not in vain. The serial rapist monk in the organization that sponsored the college was arrested for attempted rape of a woman passenger on an Air India flight May 3, 2019. He was arrested in India. It was then that at least five disavowed nuns came forward from all over the world, but who never had known about each other, to attest to their rapes. The head of the organization never spoke with the authorities about this monk, despite the nuns having reported the rape to him as their immediate superior. All he did was tell the nuns to tell no one this had happened to them, and placed the monk on “watch” by a vote of the board. They said they had no complaints in a decade. The nuns were offered no medical care of counseling. Lord knows how many other rapes he committed. There were young women a plenty who came to his teachings. No one would say anything after the treatment of the nuns, if anything did happen. So, as for me, I am forced to the conclusion that there may be a little narc in all of us, even the sainted when you include Jesus’ trashing the money traders market at the temple. Thanks, Doc Grande, for making this knowledge openly available. Transparency rules❣️

Yes

Truly😅

Yes

Fern: A lot of my emotional maturity really started in my 40s. I think that my Buddhist meditation practice, followed by a long and severe health crisis, were the good and bad things that helped me and also forced me to grow up (at least to a certain extent.)

👏 👏 👏

Good for you! x 🍀

I'm guessing you just hit late 20s.

@Samuel That just shows your level of maturity to say some foolishness like that

My husband is very mature. He is the most selfless, responsible man i know. He grew up without a dad and he wanted to lighten his widowed mother’s load. He started working at a young age. He makes this world a better place to live because he is a caring, godly servant to all. I am one who he has blessed and he has taught me so much.

@@gwenjenkins155 What a beautiful comment😌 you are very much blessed and your husband is very blessed to have a woman like you.

I feel the same way about my parents - SO lucky to have been born to the two of them. With only a few examples to the contrary, for the entirety of my life until my father passed 5 years ago, they were consistently my example of what should be a loving Union.

My father is very mature and wise I feel, he taught my mother how to be in life. I think that he passed down his maturity and thinking to me and my siblings.

Wow so many beautiful stories in the comment section. Having a stable and wise father goes a long way.

Love your name! Just bob him one in the nose to snap him out of it...then again, it will be something else for him to complain about. Stay strong girl, and keep your distance. Understandable if he is your only touchstone when you are down and out. God Bless you!

I hope you can laugh at his ridiculousness. My father and then my ex husband pulled stuff like this. I moved across the country to get away from them. I would've picked up your trashcan for you, no worries.

Oh my. My poor sons. I lived in fear and allowed their father to be verbally n emotionally abusive. I was selfish too scared. Please know you are not the issue! It was your dad.

mantrum

It's NOT about the garbage can.

Thanks

Thanks , these 10 signs also can refer to your work situations

@Natasha Mudford That's so nice of you➖😊🦋✨ Thank you!

Thank you!

My ex-boss. 🙄

Judy Lee can’t expect 😅

Dont be embarrassed You are seeing it so young Im 66 and still a mess All the best

Knowing what’s wrong is the first step to fixing the problem. Good luck.

Don’t worry too much about this ! We are all like ten year olds trying to act like adults and pretending we have our shit together 🤷‍♀️

This comment rules. I almost feel like we are the same person. I see someone too, the fact you said everything you said outloud is a giant sign of growth❤

Don’t stress too much. I am 31 and a mother of 2 little boys and just got diagnosed with adhd this summer. I look back on my life with a lot more understanding given the new context I can put things in after my diagnosis. At 20 your brain is still developing. And in the bigger scheme of things this development could be considered your brain’s “finishing touches”. . . But oh my goodness it makes such a big difference once that frontal cortex is fully developed. I remember the changes I felt about life and people and myself at 26 when those changes were close to finished. It’s amazing how different you become when the wiring is complete. Just keep working on yourself and trying your best. Your self-awareness and willingness to be better is like 90% of the solution. You got this, honey.

I don't wanna get old I don't wanna become adult I just wanna sit home watch movies and play videogames and I'm 24 is it normal?

I agree with you.

I hope I can teach it to my kids

I was a flake into my 40s. I’m 71 now and have my s in one sea bag 😊

wtf lol,.

Your comment in DSMPRESSIVE!

Nope, you are! *Times infinity SQUARED!!* 😅😝

@@Johny40Se7en LOL....Cubed!!!

Oh yeah? Well, your FACE is immature!

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I know you are but what am I??????

well stated!!

You HAVE to love yourself first. The world will never offer the kind of love you need. Start with you and build relationships with those individuals who do love you. Stop worrying about what people mutter on the internet.

omg so am I.....and it was hell living with my family & 4 Siblings. They left me with little Self Esteem and you usually wind up being together with another M. Narcissist.

I'm an empath who grew up with. One Covert narcissist parent. This was really difficult.

@@fightingtosurvive6527 how the fuck can you be an empath if you grew up in a family full of narcs? Narcissisism at the end of the day is a certain type of mentality and people form mentalities according to their family, thats why there is a saying that everything comes from home, so if you grew up in a household of narcs then you have to have their mentality at least to some degree.... Many narcissists think that they are empaths just because they are sensitive but the sensitivity stems from weakness and not from empathy and compassion. A nice guys syndrome at best.

Well I learnt too late that my immaturity caused hell and toxicity . I thought my family was horrible alcohol ect .. if I had acted from a place of maturity I would have helped myself and those around me

@@michaels7366 thankyou I agree I thought everyone else was the problem my childhood ect I've caused hell thinking I'm a saint truly , most horrific wake up call. I have children ! They need a parent !

Oh shit!🥴

Dave sounds like you then Dave 😂 Eric and Dave stick the gangster granny mother in an asylum because they don’t agree with you! Is that how your narcissistic family works? Mags takes over as matriarch and everyone bows down to every word that your family says? My family have no history of mental health issues whatsoever until dealing with your family and my fertility treatment! It’s all conditioning and control that effects people!

Fatigue makes cowards of us all. Myself included.

I think many people have, don't think you are alone. Affirmations are my go to...start with: I am worthy...I can contribute to society by (xyz), I can take care of myself, I am enough, I am loving...you can even google affirmations if you need to...If you are feeling paralyzed by fear, just take baby steps. I write affirmation on my bathroom mirror with a dry eraser marker. Right now on my mirror is: Heal or Move On! Basically meaning I can hold on to: fear, suffering, being a victim, the virus, staying stuck in my situation or move forward in my live to be the best I can be. (Don't make your standards too high, so you don't fail, maybe the best you can be today is to take a walk outside: for exercise, for fresh area, to smile at the neighbors, to enjoy the clouds, blue sky or the birds singing). Maybe the next day is to do the same, without a mask! You'll be ok! And if you are afraid of the virus stop watching the news, we are being bombarded with fear! God Bless!

@@humaneleaguelancPA very well said!

I am going through same Faced lot My girlfriend left me too

Since you're wise enough to see it you're better off than the people thinking they're doing awesome.. it's those folks I look at sideways with concern. It's like who doesn't have some immaturity somewhere or aspects of their character that need improving, or bad habits that need to change all throughout their life? I mean if you think the guy giving this talk doesn't have issues in his character you'd have to be pretty naïve. /:) ..so your life circumstances aside, since you appear conscientious about your impact on those around you, I think your focus would be best served on self empowerment to mentally strengthen your resolve to believe that it's ok for you to succeed. Sort of go from fear to faith if you will. Because you may not be emotionally immature per say it may just be experientially immature as you are (and i'm guessing) pretty young. Hope that helps. Don't be so hard on yourself.. life will do that for you! :)

Good luck, you're already past the first step. Keep going, keep trying, keep searching :)

Part of your comment speaks to earnings. Start where you can, it is amazing how low one's cost of living can go if living independently is the goal. Just recognize the tradeoff and make the choice that allows for the most growth.

@@BindingTheYoke I'm Encouraged by your comment. Thank You Very Much

@@linw7320 no worries ;)

Sadly too familiar. I wish them all the best - from the distance!

TRUE we do not.

Yes, what are your thoughts on the accuracy of the Myers Briggs personality types, based on Carl Jung's theories? Seems like it could not align with science because of the possibility of subjective manipulation from the subject. I say that because a subject or patient could know beforehand certain characteristics and simply malinger so that they fit into their desired type. Many people may desire a certain type. Do you have any opinions on Jung's theories? Fascinating even if undependable.

And You tube chat rooms .

Clive Simpson I want to mention that it equates to real life as well, because it seems like most children aren't raised in a healthy manner. I'm in my 60s now and many children "learnt" about how to relate to others via watching TV when I was a child, which certainly wasn't the best teacher, especially in those days. 🙁

And 98% of politicians....!!!

Fear...explore it!

That can be caused by mental illness, substance abuse, head injuries, Alzheimers or dementia. They damage the emotion regulation and executive functions that develop as people mature from children to adults. I don't like when people use the term "immaturity" in these cases, because it makes it sound like the person just needs to "GROW UP!". It promotes impatience and anger, and prevents people from realizing that their loved ones need medical treatment. You can't just will yourself out of these conditions.

Not wanting too face responsibility as adult because no childhood?

Maybe you were forced to mature before your time like I was you weren't allowed to be a kid. So that interrupted and stunted some of your development.

It's called reverting, a coping measure, often induced by feelings of insecurity,

Stolen.

Lol 😂

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You the Man

Haha I'm 40 but people think I look 30, my childishness is definitely part of it lol 😂

"Normal people" don't exist

Got that right!!

@@DefinitelyNotBender True there are no label's...

@@kathryncarter6143 Thank you 🙏🏻🙂

there is vulnerable narcissism too, I have found out, via youtube.

That would be my parents to a tee. Both of them.

@@williamsherman1089 The last time I saw them, I couldn't process how immature my parents were. I guess it's a good thing to be shocked by an adult name calling others. I can see if you are alone in your car, and somrone dangerously cuts in front of you, but straight to someone's face is just unacceptable. Sadly, people like that can bring even the most healthy person down. Dysfunction really is contagious.

@@LisaMaryification yeah and then they wanna tell you how old school they are, I grew up in the seventies and eighties and did have a few good role models on how mature adults were expected to behave.

I was raised by emotionally immature parents. It’s very difficult to develop skills with that kind of role model. I was shunned by a lot of kids in school for not having the right social skills and I didn’t know what I did wrong. I still feel I have missing pieces to my personality.

@@marietteestabrook4098 by watching and learning it sounds like you have out grown your parents already :) sorry you had a hard time at school.

Good on ya’! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Isabella Holden,You are absolutely gorgeous 🌹🌹🥀

That explains a lot, right?

Only half?!

And the other half are insane.

That’s because there are No schools teaching Emotional Maturity

99% are riddled with biases. Biases is the side effect of being in survival mode. The only topic of worth is biases. Yet this video owner does not cover this topic, instead covering safe topics that safely gather an audience. So he is a victim of his ego, just like everybody else, just a puppet on a string. Feelsgoodman.

I know you are but what am I

I know I am but what are you?

I'm glad you discovered that your worth is within. That's a sign of integrity to me. It's having a well-defined internal compass and actively aligning your actions with it. I think it's easy to get caught up in what others think and using that as a basis of action. All you get from that is battered and torn up. To thine own self be true. Polonius in Hamlet. Wishing all the best to you!

Boris Ramirez U were led to believe bc u were married to a malignant narcissist it sounds to me. Unless I missed something that is my conclusion.

that may have been projection and on top, both of you may have been. i portant option to not miss. as they say: "only an abc recognizes and abc."

Really good 👌😂😆🤭

Ha😂

I'm not emotionally immature!!!! I'm not! I'm not! I'm not!

Don't let anyone call you 'crazy' for seeking therapy. It's the people who refuse to set foot in a therapist's office who are 'crazy'.

Most narc's have the Emotional Intelligence level of a 4-7 year old child, because of past trauma that they refused to heal and overcome. That is why they always act like an insecure weak victim living in an adult body.

It is an excruciating difficult path to walk, treading the fine line between subjecting one's self to further tormenting and abuse and taking responsibility for what we now have control over that perhaps, we didn't before. But it can be done and we are doing it. Realisation is already an important step in part of the healing process. I always try to remember that it's not my fault but it is now my responsibility. I wish you well and success in your healing journey.

Rejane Oliveira,Your lovely smile 😊 can make the news!

I feel for you Carolina, I am here because of my mother.

@@brusselsprout5851 Thank you so much friend!

It definitely would be the first. This comment you left is the second. Good luck with the rest of the journey

Marquis l'Exil make it step number three then and thank you sir too. Good luck yourself if you are also going through anything! :)

@@sashatagger3858 thank you. We all go through something. A little kindness and encouragement go a long way

Good luck from an immature seventy year old!

Connie Jorgensen,You are absolutely gorgeous 🌷🌹🌺 dear

@@mmbah543 Meh! Let the resilience kick in and build it. You described as part of what is characteristic of self destruction. Are you doing OK ?

Have you considered that those who are abusers tend to abuse those already abused? I was abused in a cult that continually sexually victimized me beginning in infancy. Later, I was freq. targeted by teachers, neighbors, bosses, etc. I didn't even realize because they had intentionally created other personalities for me to switch to during abuse. I married a horrific abuser and it was evident soon after the fact (I left him 7 wks. later) what had transpired. I have avoided marriage since. I realized that most of those I connected with where abusers because they "knew" I was a victim. Some studies have proven this out including some interviews with Ted Bundy.

​@@susanrhodes5681 Whether predators on children or "mere" mobbing in school by other kids; abusers have a finely tuned intuitive radar as to who is a good target, one that won't fight back, make much of a fuss. One who was already wounded often keeps carrying that wound easy to spot for such exploitative people; they see an easy outlet for the frustrations or perversions, power plays and manipulations, mind games, false hopes, the carrot dangling right in front you that you never reach and the other "fun" bits between double binds and physical attacks. Only when we learn to draw boundaries, grow our assertiveness, they will not go for us anymore. The game may be a bit different at first, but it is one you can only master through experience. You do not hide your wounds from the noses of the predators by conceiling them, but by being "dangerous" yourself. Not in the "evil" sense, but in the sense of defending yourself no matter what and projecting that in your demeanor and posture. Martial arts can help a lot with this (not a simple "self defense course", but a true committed years long study of a martial art that you resonate with). The result is confidence and assertiveness, a lack of helplessness if you will, and the predator then is less likely to "smell" you. Because you carry around an aura of being trouble, or at least of not being easy prey. Many vulnerable men face similar problems with their relationships, and even consider scrapping future relationship endeavors entirely. The MGTOW-movement or what some think that to be is one offshoot of that notion. The same goes for "political lesbians"; heterosexual women that chose to be lesbians (which doesn't really work that way, and real lesbians can tell from not very gratifying sexual experiences with them) are an equivalent on the other side. What most likely happened to these people is their "attraction-radar" being primed towards abusive types of the opposite sex. Our first relationship often primes us in this, and when it was a bad one, the next one seems like a carbon copy replacement of the old in many cases. A friend of mine had 5 girlfriends with Borderline Personality Disorder in a row; he is a psychologically abused mess and has a bunch of behaviour fleas from them as well, but is working on it. He also has a history of psychological abuse in his childhood, including teachers. In order to find a more... bearable... relationship, it may help to view your "attraction-radar" rather as a warning tool. When that "got the hots" info-LED goes blinking in your head, rather consider whether you see similar patterns to your former abusers, and use that blinking light as a warning of turning around, and checking out the potential partners that it does not go off on. This feels very counterintuitive at first, but you will quickly get to know a wider variety of personality types and people, and become a better judge of character, instead of just being drawn to the same type over and over. The common MGTOW-stories I've read and heard all seem to swarm around manipulative (psychologically abusive) Cluster-B women, while the equivalent of abused females have more classic physically violent psychopaths in their mix. In the near trauma-clinic where they also deal with complex-PTSD, and where I hope to finally get a spot next year, many sexually abused women developed some inherent phobia of the male sexual organ. To the point that some mothers are unable to bathe their male babies. Hence why transwomen have to go to the mixed unit. This "phallophobia" as I would dub it, is a natural reaction that can occur in the aftermath of PTSD, as it lowers your threat-resolution (so that similar things trigger the same threat-response) and thus conflates "has penis" with "is 100% threat", despite no other semblance to the original perpetrator, simply because of the presence of the same "item" used to commit the atrocious crime. If unaddressed this can develop into outright man-hatred, and some radical feminists do recruit their numbers from such women. Some Mothers who seek to force-transition their male children can also have these histories behind them. They end up with very... detrimental coping mechanisms. Detrimental to their surroundings especially. Long term psychological abuse, especially from cults, easily results in complex PTSD, which can be addressed therapeutically, as I implied above. However, the therapy is as much hell as the condition, anxiety, tension, hypervigilance, flashbacks and complete psychogenic crampattacks/breakdowns themselves. But a hell with an end, and more normal life ahead afterwards. My personal advice is to look up a good trauma-clinic and sign up; the waiting lists for these are very long; so the earlier the better. These intense stories I would not advise to treat in an ambulant fashion. I don't know Dr Grande's opinion on the following, but personally I have found great understanding about my experiences and condition, and those of my abusers and their... well-meaning, but inevitably naive and harmful defenders...: Take a look at the channel "TheraminTrees"; an ex-therapist, who also shares stories about bad therapy, cult-behaviour, psychological abuse in general, as well as strategies and necessities to get out of them and what (surprisingly good) chances you have. Of course this cannot replace a good ambulant psychotherapist, but it sure as hell is a good foundation and orientation; and as with Dr Grande's videos, a lot to chew, process and sometimes... quite painful. In my personal experience, and those I deal with, these abuse stories can never be longterm-treated with meds; they require psychotherapy, behavioural as well as specialized (c-)PTSD. That opens up a lot of processing resources, can help you regain your creativity thusly and also remove an associated depression. Most therapists just treat the depression, although those are merely symptoms of the underlying trauma. Solve the latter, and the depressive symptoms crumble. The common anti-depression techniques and necessities should of course still be employed while you are dealing with the symptoms, to keep you going. As a last note, I am just a layman. I'm a patient that did not get the treatment I needed, for various reasons - one being a decrepit and corrupt healthcare system in my state in Germany. I only read up a lot when I still could out of necessity, and kept what works for me and my closer acquaintances. I have dealt with >20 years of chronic depression without outside help (despite seeking), which turned out to be a side effect of my gender dysphoria. The new depression... well, that's the new crap I deal with. Thus my conclusions here may be flawed and biased, and I hope not too much, at best nothing, of what I told here is wrong and harmful. Please, be well. There is a future, even if you can't see it yet.

@@susanrhodes5681 I pondered about whether I should reply or not. You can imagine this is usually not advised with such tales. However, I fail to keep it short: I will note here that Dr Grande did a great video on the history of "DID" that I would recommend you watching. Having had some experience with various narcissists and borderliners, the latter of which some claimed to have DID, I came to the following layman conclusion/hypothesis with a similarly invested buddy of mine: When we think, truly think, actively, consciously, we create something I would roughly describe as "temporary virtual constructs", mock characters with pseudo-consciousnesses. Think of it like writing a stageplay, but doing improv for all the people involved. This is part of how I imagine cognitive empathy functions. Due to our variant of autism, this is an unusually conscious process, compared to how non-autists describe it. Basically, you imagine a character, fictional or someone you know according to what you know and expect of that person, and ask or wonder "How would that person react, act, answer, question, behave, be affected?" The virtual machine is then handed to your unconscious and it plays out intuitively, according to the stats and traits you have about the person or attributed to the fictional character. Essentially, this is how prayer works: The question "What would Jesus do?" is asking the assumed construct you have of the character Jesus, or what God would answer according to your interpretation of God, running that through your subconscious, and it spitting out a logical response according to your assumptions and biases. Thus you can get your prayers "answered" by this virtuous being. If you equate the subconscious or "soul" with something divine, this is not even necessarily contradictory to your belief. However, the mechanics work the same with any other construct, like the classic "advocatus diavoli" - the necessary critic who tests all your ideas for their flaws. Narcissism can be understood in various ways; personally I favour the one of what you call "DID" but with just "one" personality over the core: The Godpersona that is perfect and sheltering the real, stunted, emotionally immature personality that is likely a product of abuse and neglect, oedipal parenting. It's like the Godpersona has an oedipal relationship with the real, underdeveloped core. This Godpersona is essentially a virtual construct, like those described above, but given access to all the faculties. The stunted core could still override that at all times, but refuses to, as it is easier beneath the protection of the virtual construct. The virtual construct is basically a coping mechanism to shield the real core personality again further abuse; thus, it the Godpersona is proven flawed or wrong in any way, it cracks and breaks and the stunted 5yo child breaks through and throws a tantrum, appropriate for its age - despite a 30-50yo body. The Godpersona is essentially a self-created fantasy world, an escapism. A similar coping mechanism seems to be what is called "DID" at large, but with several virtual constructs. Some borderliners especially use this as a constant dodge for responsibility and being proven wrong. Reactions like "Oh, my other personality thought that initially, I actually agree with you", just to not have to admit being wrong. Those types seem much less like actual distinct personalities, but just cardboard cutouts used as diversions and distractions. They are almost created at random and at will, for whatever the situation requires. Thus unlikely large numbers of such "beings" accumulate. Just like the narcissistic Godpersona, it looks like an extensive bad coping mechanism for a core-personality that cannot bear being wrong about anything or flawed in any way; whether this is to prevent further deep wounds or is a mere product of emotional immaturity, is of secondary interest in my eyes. The virtual constructs ("personalities") are just virtual constructs. Characters on a stage, whom you, the core (of self/being), allowed superuser-access to your various faculties to take over as auto-pilot AIs, existing to shield the core from harm and responsibility. However, they cause further harm and trouble in your life down the line, like playing a different character every day, will put people around you off. You can reduce them back to what they are: Characters on a stage playing adlib to help you puzzle out a situation. However, that means that you, the core, take back control of all aspects of your life, and thus, responsibility for everything that happens, everything you do, to yourself and others. Taking such responsibility is part of that divine message, as far as I understand the more "mature" variants of christianity. The immature ones, like for example pentacostals, focus solely on the aspect of the Holy Ghost, that if they just pray hard enough, fullfills their wishes and does their worldly chores required to be an upright citizen, while they just lay back, put their feet up, and think themselves good people (i.e. in cowardice of giving testimony for an abuse victim, they will instead just pray that the holy ghost makes the world right, and feel they have done sufficient duty; all the while they wilfully forget that said "holy ghost" can only act "through them", as they act). Their version of God is basically a virtual construct they use as an excuse to do nothing, and still feel good about themselves. You could say it is not the Christian God (of Truthseeking, Responsibility, Courage and Consequence) but another God (of Neglect and Indulgence). Since you describe yourself as an avid believer, maybe contemplate those aspects of God; and that if God made everything and nothing was before God, then Evil is of course also a product of God, as is the Devil. If everything God made has his divine spark, like every human being, so does the Devil. The Yin to the Yang. And where the good God requires wrath to enact consequence (not to punish but to teach, like a parent telling the kid for umpteenth time to not run into the street), the Devil is necessary to put the test of virtue before you. This is why the Yin/Yang has a dot of the other in its center. You need to know both, integrate them, to be a whole being. God is authority and the Devil is doubt. Authority that is never doubted will always turn into tyranny, and festering doubt that is never constrained will tear everything apart; including yourself. What is required, is balance, mastery of both, not an indulgence in the one side that makes you feel the nicest. Then, maturation begins. And thus, by doubting what those other "personalities" truly are, there may be a way to regain control over yourself, your faculties, and reality at large. May you find good therapy, for it is rare.

I guess the comment before my second reply was removed/deleted. Maybe that's for the better.

100% agree with your analysis here

Yes, though it seem counter intuative.

thats some fresh way of looking at it

The locus of control part made me think exactly the same, that too strong locus of control is immature as well. Especially naive people who think they can literally completely change the world if they work hard enough for it. But I didn’t realise the parallel with responsibility. Seems plausible with inferiority complex for example.

It makes sense, because lack of boundaries is another sign. And I would say allowing other people to walk over you and doing too much for people is being unable to set healthy boundaries.

You have to look at the function of the behavior. So, no, in this case, your example is not opposite sides of the same spectrum. Being extra responsible or hard-working is not the same as being irresponsible or lazy. If it is pathological, it is a different type of pathology. Perhaps narcissism or learned survival behaviors, not immaturity. I think you make a better case about #2, however, at least people who take control are trying to deal with reality, not run away from it.

You just took the first step, yes you have time, onwards and upwards beautiful.

😊good 1 first step .Realizing and admitting.

You're brave for watching the video

Plenty of time! Anyone of any age can change and grow, and you’re still very young. :)

Your brains not even fully developed. You've got years hun.

Same!

I think growing up is over rated

If you get to 50 and you haven't grown up ...you don't have to

Why in the hell do you think they got into the business to begin with??

seoreh That's exactly right and they used to be called wounded healers when I was young. I'd like to add social workers to the list too. I was extremely harmed by some of the ones I saw over the years and don't think I could trust another, except for the counsellors on RU-vid etc, who have clearly done their own healing work. ❤

I left my NPD spouse five years ago, and it was the healthiest thing I ever did. Please take care and good luck!

Good luck. That's a terrible place to be.

well their easy to manipulate tho first is he narcisistick?

Yes please!!!!!!!!!

Phenomenon? Bitter or just don't know history?

@suny123boy1 I am happy to hear you explain.

Why did you marry him?

I am there now.

@goldbrick2563 He was clever. More clever than I. He hid this side of him until it was too late to see him for what he really was. Never overestimate your personal powers of observation. I was arrogant in that respect. It can come back to haunt you. I sincerely hope this answers your question.