10 ways to become narcissist resistant 1-know what narcissism is 2-be resistant to the 3 c's: charm, charisma, confidence 3-radical acceptance of what it is 4-learn the universal tell's of narcissist behavior (reactions when criticized, not listening, lack of empathy, victimhood, hypocrisy, etc) 5-slow down. take time to pay attention to what is happening to you. 6-don't feel that you have to educate everyone else. most people aren't willing or able to understand what narcissism is about. 7-build support around you. 8-have meaning and purpose in your life 9-build self-compassion 10-learn your pressure/trigger points cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁
Well, that's what I did, but now I'm accused to be a narcissist, because I have become "emotionally unavailable" 😅 because I don't engage in his drama anymore. With a normal person you could communicate about the difficulties in your relationship, but when I try to have a conversation with him, he becomes emotional and blames everything on me 😢 I should probably leave, but I'm afraid because of financial situation, kids, etc.
Last month, in the ICU, in the middle of the night, I felt alone. I'd just come out of a coma; I'd been fighting for my life. I was full of grief, fear, and self-doubt. A nurse began to administer meds without telling me what they were. So, I asked. She was clearly annoyed and beyond unkind. I was hurt and shocked to feel shocked. But I soon realized I wasn't alone. A tech in the room waited until the nurse left and quietly let me know she recognized that what just happened wasn't okay. THANK YOU to all of you brave, beautiful people. Her soft voice, compassion, emotional attunement, and willingness to stand beside me was all it took to put a smile on my face. Thank you to all who break through the darkness with light.❤❤❤
@@oceansunset6147 not to generalize but there is a pattern. Could be because of the strong gender roles in the region and the male desire to be more dominant, which seems to be more prevalent in the global south 🤷🏻♀️
Being authentic and true to yourself and your boundaries can become an armor against narcissists and their manipulative tactics. Be able to trust your gut and recognize some of their manipulative actions. Once you sense red flags, disengage and protect your personal space.
I had to do that with my narcissist mom a few days ago. She refused to listen to boundaries my husband and I had and said she’s fine moving forward without us and the kids.
So brave. So hard. So worth it! I am relating after years away and its like I have a superpower! Though it takes vigilance. My current mantra is, “I can let go of needing to be understood.”
I would have no trouble with that at all, except, my daughter, a classic narcissist, is barring me from seeing my grandchildren. So, walk away from family, including your grandchildren?
This is so hard for me because they are in my family. I tune in almost without conscious awareness. Empathically, I plug right in even if I am silent and guarded.
I strongly believe that no matter how much material is consumed on narcissism, a person would have no real idea what it is, until they have have been immersed in it, experienced it to the most detrimental depths, and bears the scars to show for it.
I agree 100%. Narcs are slick. They dole out abuse when no one is around. When witnesses are present, they are sweet as you please. My mother, my father, and my ex-husband are all narcissists. My own daughter (who lived with my ex and I) still cannot see the abuse I suffered because he put on such an act around her. My mother is a pit viper when we are alone, but puts on the same act when others are present. What a load of bull.
Exactly! Nobody can understand it at all unless they were abused by one for sure! Tying those abusive traits to substantial tangible events you have experienced is only way to truly understand a sick narcissist and who they are and why?!!!! It’s the most unbelievable abuse ever to try to explain to someone!
They'll count on you being guilty for reacting to their abuse. Remember, they will never feel guilt. There is nothing wrong with taking care of yourself. Please take care of your own mental health.
1. Have iron clad boundaries and standards 2. stay emotionally detached until you vet the person minimum 3 months. 3. Trust your gut instincts 4. Keep your life private avoid over sharing especially what makes you happy and upset. Narcissist needs to know these to love bomb and hurt depending on what stage of the relationship
As soon as a person shouts, snaps, barks, growls at me, thats is it. To me THEY have lost it and there is no good in trying to explain anything to them, but I get labelled as arrogant and stubborn.
Everyone experiences anger, but narcissists will dump it on those they feel free to abuse; they project their own shadow self outward, have no insight and cannot or will not take an honest look at themselves. They play the domination game.
I err on the side of protecting me now and its one strike you are out! It might be extreme but I have wasted too many years on too many second chances. I like what you shared.
I guess we all have our pet peeves. This is definitely one of mine: screaming, snapping, lousing control out of the blue. I get it that some people are impulsive and I am not interested in labelling someone a narcissist, I won't. Because to know for sure that one is a narcissist you'll have to experience abuse which I'm absolutely not prepared to take so that knowledge is not for me to hold. I equally won't be interested in what they choose to label me be it arrogant or anything else. We're just not a match. Good luck, much love, and goodbye.
If you prefer not to be around someone who shouts, is rude, easily angered, or makes you feel uncomfortable that is reasonable. No need to explain to anyone else including the one exhibiting the behavior. Life is short. Make room for the positive people you haven't met yet.
Being with my ex narc for the past 8 yrs. made me observe this very pattern. I think they wanted to feel very important in a way that is disturbing. Instead of building trust with their intimate partners, they destroy the trust that they built with you (in that case lying when they tried to put you in their pedestal). Once they have a committed partner, they can’t stand being loved authentically by one person. Instead they go on and prey on other women that is susceptible to their love bombing. My ex narc was a compulsive pursuer in a relationship. He would go back and forth to the women he were involved before or try to meet women in complicated situation so that going public isn’t an option while having you as their main supply. In the end they destroy the very person that loved them. They are like toddlers testing your love for them. Showing and telling them you love them isn’t enough, they will cheat on your face to make you feel inadequate even if you are more than they deserve. They want to test your love for them so they keep hurting you and when you have enough of their abuse, you leave. Then they tell you, ‘you never loved me because you abandon me’. Well in fact it’s their actions and narcissistic behavior that made you leave or in other cases they discard you and will give silly reasons of the discard. Mine would use, ‘she’s crazy’, ‘she’s a nega-star’, ‘she insults me’, ‘she cheated on me’ et al. So with this pattern of infidelities and emotional abuse (who knows what else) it’s better to walk away. I did walk away and is now rebuilding my life with our daughter. We are struggling financially because I’m not earning enough to provide for my daughter but now we get to laugh and bring with us sunshine every day. No lies, no abuse and no fake love. We only live once, forgive yourself and move forward but never forget the lesson that narc abuse taught you. That is to respect yourself to walk away from what’s hurting and destroying you. That you deserve a life of solitude, happiness and love. Hugs*** :) Additionally I got to know about my narc husband bad ways when I reach out to a private detective digitalinvestigate@gmail.com for help he did a perfect work for me I can see everything he’s doing on his device.
When you meet someone new, test the person. Simply either disagree with their opinion or say no. Watch the reaction. A person who healthy and well adjusted will respect your point of view. A toxic controlling person will not. When I test people, I save myself time and pain. I wish everyone well on the healing journey.
Be happy being alone. This allows you to back away when your instinct tells you that something’s not right with that other person you just met, or you work with, or is a member of your family or church, or your spouse. Knowing that you’re OK being alone can help prevent you from coming up with excuses or justifications for that other person‘s behavior.
@@historyiwitness5915 You are surely not a victim of narcissistic abuse. Hence, you feel so.. But, others are gaining immense relief from her videos.
6 месяцев назад
You must Be a narcissist yourself. You fear exposure don't you? You're just jealous of someone who's leading the charge informing the public about narcissism, helping survivors recover from narcissist abuse and destroying your narcissist bullshit game called life.
A point I thought about is build a strong sense of self. Knowing who and what you are I believe can go a long way. You may be less likely to fall for the manipulations when grounded with self identity.
Sexlessness. Sharing a bed with someone who doesn’t acknowledge you are a sexual being hurts so much. I was in a sexless marriage for years. Being a woman with a high libido, I felt inadequate. Worst I feel invisible. The man who was “supposed” to want me, just didn’t. We talked about it many times, more than I can recall now. It was always me. I wanted too much - once a week was too much for him. I didn’t initiate - he was always complaining of headaches, stomaches, always stressed, always tired. I was too sexual - when being subtle doesn’t work, what is next? Explicitly saying I wanted sex. Oh but then it was not appropriate. Conversations would end up with him saying he didn’t feel desired or I made him feel emasculated because he didn’t want sex as much as I did. Yeah, it was always me. I could never win. While we were dating we would have a decent amount of sex, it was good. The first huge red flag was not having sex in our honeymoon - which I ignored. It rapidly decrease to once a week, then every other week. Years gone by it was months in between, by the time we divorced it was over a year with no sex. I cried myself to sleep more times that I can count. I didn’t understand what was wrong with me. Was I that undesirable? Was I repulsive? After those conversations, I just stopped trying, initiating, mentioning sex. We were still loving - holding hands, hugging, kissing - but sex was off the table. He then cheated on me. Swore he had sex only 4 times in a year (or more) long affair. It didn’t matter. For years my self worth was damaged by him, years of low self esteem, years of feeling less of a woman, the marriage that was more than over, waiting in hospice, really ended. Funny how things are, I asked him for a divorce, he manipulated me into staying, next day his infidelity came to light. I was out as soon as I could. Best thing of my life. Additionally, That feeling when your partner cheated and you don't have the courage to leave him / her so you just death with the pain and live everyday asking questions about your worth. This pain is different from the cheating one_living and seeing him everywhere anticipating when he or she do it again. The best thing is to hire a private investigator Digitalinvestigate@gmail. com to help you spy on their cellphone remotely just like he did for me...
This story really resonated with me and I'm so appreciative you shared it. I feel anger for you that anyone would treat their partners like this, and even though I don't know you, I know you deserve better - because everyone does. I hope I can channel the anger I feel for you back towards myself, because seeing my story in yours reminds me it's not ok for me either.
6 месяцев назад
I hear ya but no sex on your honeymoon should've been a major red flag. Hope you learned a lesson. He was shinning infidelity from the beginning of the marriage.
I hear you. I also have a high libido & experienced similar treatment: lies, broken vows, emotional/sexual unavailability. You certainly have been thru hell, as have I. You deserve a partner who can & will meet your sexual needs, be honest with you, be true to you & not gaslight you. Many of us here are so eager to comment that we jump on & make typos. One in particular of yours: "you just death with the pain..." I found that telling. When my partner of 35 years (off & on), after many previous abandonments, finally discarded me when I faced a cancer diagnosis, it did feel like death. Ambiguous loss may be something to Google. Not sure it was best to hire a PI, but I myself hired a psychic, twice. We do what we need to do when we don't trust our own perceptions/experiences. What's good is that you're out of a toxic, unfulfilling bond. There is community here, long as you can be discerning re: responses. Wish you all the best, sister. Dr. Ramani has many truths for us. They have only helped me.
Spotting controlling behavior and language and blocking those people out of your life. Spotting intrusive, boundary violating language/ behavior and blocking those people out of your life. Basically understanding toxicity and reducing conditioned tolerance for it. And not being the supporting actor in someone else’s show but being the star of your own show.
The survivors support group i joined made things worse. Ive been in therapy for 5 years and I now realise the less I talk about narc abuse, the better l feel and I gain better clarity that helps me thrive and keep me calm
Such a good point! I notice when I talk about my abuser it activates those experiences in my body all over again. Also, Things got worse for us because of therapy. I was told to be more patient and understanding of his “OCD” and his childhood traumas. He takes notes during therapy and puts on a good show, he’s even called out his therapist for her tone and therapy style and got her to panic and beg for his forgiveness. I would love to find a therapist who specializes in narcissistic abuse, so far I haven’t found that person. A therapist who specializes in “trauma” is not enough, it has to be specific to narcissism. Thank you for sharing,
The ultimate goal is to trust my intuition, develop a deeper relationship and connection to myself. Inside all of us is a highly intelligent alert system that has been dismantled. It’s like someone turned off our internal smoke detector and we fail to realize the smoke as a Warning Sign 🚩
@@Imawakenow555why on earth would you go to therapy with a narcissist??? There is no helping them. If you want therapy, go by yourself to heal what they destroyed in you
When I accidentally stumbled into a hobby during an abusive marriage….and the hobby eventually became my career….that was my first big step away from narcissistic abuse. It helped me begin to see my life very differently. That was 24 years ago this coming March (the 10th!). I’ve still struggled with putting myself in the direct path of other narcissists, but I’m getting wiser and more resistant all the time. Dr. Ramani, you’ve really made a big difference. I wish I’d had you in my life 24 years ago (well, 25, tbh). Thank you for all that you do!
Yes, thank God I have had my hobbies to fall back on during times of crisis, in my case cycling. It fills an empty void of despair, by providing an alternative. Hobbies can save your life. Sitting around moping, drinking and eating make things worse.
1. Knowing what narcissism is 2. Being more resistant to sees 3. Radical acceptance 4. Learn their tells 5. Slow down 6. Don’t feel that you have to educate everyone else 7. Build support 8. Meaning and purpose 9. Build self compassion 10. Learn your pressure points
I love the way you get me to think. I have said all I need to say about my toxic sibs, I am the black sheep, and scapegoat. I have no desire to change their opinion and it is no longer my problem. He said, she said is not allowed inside the boundary line and I no longer live to fix this. I walked away. I pray for their healing and working with God for mine. I haven't talked to any of them since May 2023. I have a ways to go, but everyday is better. Thank you for helping me see this. I appreciate you vast knowledge.
My siblings are the same. I've tried to make them laugh, but they ended up hating me even more for it. One of my brothers said, "I'm not like that." I can laugh authentically and they cannot.
Thanks & good job! I read once that the best way to avoid a bad deal (narcissistic relationship?) was to always be ready to walk away. If you are totally independent (physically, financially, emotionally, etc.) you can cut ties at any point. Don't settle. Break the cycle. Rebel. We got this! Let's go!
Actually it feels never be ready if we are still in trauma bond. So, ready or not just do it ! Light will come when you set the boundaries and start to look into yourself. I only get close contact with NPD in 3 months but almost a year still not completely heal.
Don't tie your dreams to any person, place or thing. Follow you, your own heart, your dreams, your passions. Don't let anyone tell you what you should or should not do. Make your own decisions. Bow down to no one, but God, and no one person is Her! Validate other's experience who are going through this traumatic experience. We all need support.
I LOVE her!! She is one of the best on the narcissism subject. I bought her book. We have to support her for all the help she is giving freely to many ❤❤
It's horrible and isolating -- even the most expert experts don't seem to have a lot of suggestions for us to try to deal with the levels of ostracism and isolation
Leaning to validate your boundaries, feelings and needs. Stating those things, and enforcing them. Narcissists are allergic to boundaries and the people who have them.
One thing that I have learned in my healing journey is that when dealing with narcissists and toxic people all around first impressions do matter. Many of us were raised to see the good in others and to treat others with kindness. This meant also not always taking things personally if someone does something that felt and made you uncomfortable after all we’re all human and make mistakes. The moment an incident happens that seems minor but crosses your boundaries do not ignore. You don’t have to say anything but keep watch and soon you’ll notice a pattern . Once you’ve seen them for who they truly are you can get out of relationships, friendships or partnerships before you invest your time and resources any further. I have come to realize that narcissists take advantage of the goodwill in others and that’s why they keep on getting away with their behavior. Often their attitude presents itself as the belief that they can misbehave and can make up for it by apologizing later. Never fall for their insincere apologies.
Woman, the fact that you have over 1.6 million subscribers is proof enough that there are more people in the world than just me experiencing this! Thank you for what you do. I was today years old when I realized that there are more narcissists in the world than I gave credit for.
I think I graduated, finally 👌❤️🤗 I am aware of so much without having to analyze anything about them, that I don't have the need to avoid them. I use to have to get away, and this had a big impact in my job security and development, and a huge impact in my social life. I am my cheerful old self even with narcissists around. If I have to have a discussion, I know how to deactivate them, giving them a 'respectful way out' without triggering their vengative side. Disclaimer: I f they are stupid narcs, then I will run away. There's no negotiating with stupid people, specially if they are narcissists.
Avoid direct eye contact at all times. Never allow them to look deep into your eyes. Total game changer that took me decades to discover. Just look at their eyebrows, their glasses, the root of their noses, etc.
Why is that? I was raised to maintain eye contact when speaking with someone. It’s considered a sign of respect. However, I do acknowledge I’d feel unsettled after that type of engagement with the narc. I feel like the work I’ve done to rebuild my life in a post-Covid world has been dismantled.
@@kiasunray One reason is that since they are dominators and abusive, they may try to frighten you, terrorize you, shame you, with what is a violent hard stare. This is commonly called 'the psychopathic stare'. It is a threatening stare.
@@KaarinaKimdaly Thank you so much for the explanation‼️ I’m pulling the pieces together. So many things about his behavior didn’t make sense to me. I remember the first time I got that stare and had no idea what it was about. I looked at him weird and kept going.
That's a big red flag, when someone assumes a familiarity way too soon! I have fallen for this tactic mre than once, before I realized they were a narc. Now I look for this as a major red flag. It takes time to build a friendship/relationship, and healthy people have protective boundaries, and don't rush in full speed ahead!
It room me months of having my picture at 2-3 years old to have self compassion, but after basically my whole life under a narcissist, I guess that’s pretty good. I’ve become much more patient and compassionate with myself.
The BIGGEST#1 tell is no regard or concern for something that concerns, bothers or upsets YOU! If it doesn't bother them they don't care that it bothers you!! But if something bothers them YOU BETTER CARE!! AND A LOT!! AND RIGHT NOW!! AND MAKE THEM FEEL REGULATED AGAIN OR MEET THE MONSTER BEHIND THE MASK AND HIS WRATH!! AKA Satan's foot soldiers!
My Narc family, are my stalkers. 2 years of stalking but I don't give them any satisfaction with replies or reactions. I moved on before I went No contact. I have a wonderful, free and peaceful life now. I love myself, I trust myself.Peace and contentment to all here. ✌️💜💪🌹
It's interesting why people don't want to know about narcissism. I've come across it twice at least. And both times the people were complaining about the problematic person, they were not in denial, they said they didn't understand how the people in question can act like they do. But when I mention narcissism they brush it off. One said, "I know, but I don't understand why he doesn't care" 🤦♀️ The other one kept complaining, kept inventing plans on how to make him care and consistently ignored any links I sent about narcissistic abuse. I honestly don't understand. I would kill for that knowledge years ago when I needed it.
I have gotten 1/4 through your book, "It's Not You"! and I have read "Don't You Know Who I AM?". I have watched your vids every day for 5 years and many others... I had a big epiphany reading your book yesterday. It is the thing I have been wanting to get into my head for all these years and not just know but really believe... - "It's True !!!!!!!!!!!"....! - ❤❤❤👍 Thank you.
Yes, sorry it wasn't more clear... all these years (like 10 years) I have been struggling to believe that narcissists are real, what they do is legitimately cruel, unfair, and unjust, and especially if we did to them what they did to us they would freak out a million times bc it is so abusive... But I have struggled with one thing, believing that abuse is real. Maybe that is silly, but i think I have been gaslighted so much that I can't accept that the abuse and narcissism is actually real. So my epiphany is ultimately that after 10 years of studying narcissism I finally have gotten to a place where not only do I understand the behavior on a useless cognitive level, but I now understand abusive behavior at the level of deep belief. That is my epiphany, I "Believe it's TRUE". Deep down, and at a level that can't be gaslighted away... Now I am able to really make big changes in my life,, cutting narcissists out of my life, where I once would feel guilty, now I know it's the right and guiltless thing to do. I wish there was more, I hope this helps...👍 @@WENDYBANTAM
Most amazing to me is that twice I have run into former friends of my narc ex-friend who want nothing to do with her either. She once considered them her “besties” too. So there are three of us who have gone no contact. I’m sure there are others now. Once I thought i was the only one who saw the empress wasn’t wearing clothes. Feels good to know I’m not.
Yeah, no-contact-ers like us usually are decent people who make the choice and quietly move on. We’re not out gossiping or campaigning against them, so we don’t normally find out that there are others who couldn’t keep up a relationship with our ex-toxic-whoever they were. But, I’ve been told more than once and witnessed it myself: with a really nasty dysfunctional person it’s rarely just ONE person who had to get out. Most of them have a trail of ghosts, so to speak.
Yay! Your book just arrived 😁 It now sits on my nightstand waiting for me this evening. Thank you for all you've taught me in my journey through narcissist behavior. You are a special lady!
Book ordered. Though I was in a 'never met relationship', the effects of this toxic person needs time to purge myself from. After being with my sweet wife who passed in 2020, I somehow connected with this person who was the polar opposite of my wife. Amazing how her negativity can be felt even through the internet and can only imagine the turmoil and grief experienced if we had ever physically met. I count my lucky stars for that distance between us and learning about this personality type from you! 🌠🙏
One day something said to me to check my health whether its good or bad. I said to myself my anxiety is really bad. I had to protect myself from family. My life is so peaceful and i put god first. Listen to peace. Its your guide. ✌🏼
Narcs always have to be either the hero, victim or martyr... P.S. the really toxic ones are hyper competitive, envious and are obsessed with COMPARING "toys".
Got your book!!! Started reading yesterday and absolutely love it! Can’t wait until lunch break to keep reading. Thank you, Dr. Ramani. You have taught me so much and have given the strength to manage the narcissistic relationships in my life.
Got my book! Just so excited about it!😅 I ordered for my sister in Mexico, I hope it gets to her hand because the father of her kids pretty much keeps her isolated.🙏🏼
I realised I’m a sucker for attention and flattery. I recognise that and so don’t attach to that when meeting a prospective dating/partner thing. I also listen to how I’m asked out, is it a question? I say no to the first idea they have and offer another suggestion. I have found that if they are a narc, I’m dropped like a hotcake. Even ignored next time I’m at the save event. Thank you, Lord.
The point about meaning and purpose is strong because narcissists basically want you to follow their "meaning and purpose" their will and their whims. If you can prioritize your own will over theirs (because you have a purpose, a goal) then you can easily say no to their plans and stick to your own.
Just ordered a copy of your book after watching you & Matthew Hussey’s “How to spot a Narcissist!” I would not have been able to walk away from the toxic relationship that I struggled with for almost 5 years! I’ve been subscribed to you for a while & you are truly making a difference! I’m looking forward to my book & healing! Thank you for all that you do!❤️
As much as I appreciate this entire subject segment and your valuable and informative channel , one standout section that very helpful for me here today is 5:38 Do Not Feel Like You Have to Educate Every Else about what you’ve learned…I have experienced the disappointment over trying to inform (share, warn, advise, etc.), my other two adult siblings of our narcissistic mother about the tactics I see more clearly which have led to my steps of getting free with no contact. They aren’t at the same place emotionally to confront their own personal adjustments/changes to make similar decisions. Thank you for all of the Golden Nuggets about Narcissism. God bless you personally and professionally!
Working proactively on my self compassion is what really flipped the switch on my healing. I had been "on the path," for awhile, but my mind wasnt grasping it fully. I turned my capacity for love inwards. When he began speaking to me in a way that was less kind than how i would speak to myself, it stood out. I can see that he speaks to himself in that way; that's why he thinks it is allowed. But with me, it isnt. The level of self-love we have for ourselves is the standard. When we talk down to ourselves, it doesnt stand out when someone else does it, character attacks and sweeping negative generalizations have been nornalized. Making rules for how i spoke to myself (my inner child) as if i were speaking to a beloved niece whom i love to champion and spoil. 😂 Not allowing the inner critic any air time, and proactively developing the positive air time, changed my quality of life so much. I hold on to my narrative now.
I get upset because the narcissist I know needs so much love and nurturing almost like a cussing and mean baby 😂 but refuses to show or give love... I can't stand when someone needs something more than they are willing to give 🎉
Dr Ramani I wish I could sit down with you for even 10 minutes. I don't understand how the guy I was in a relationship with could say I Love you even up to the day of discard. How can he be literally two people, showed me that he loved me then didn't., said he loved me then didn't so confusing so two different things all the time
@michelleoconnor9968, That's part of their personality disorder. They don't really care about truth; rather, they care most about how they appear, and what they can get away with through manipulating your thinking. Inducing confusion in the other person can buy them time, keep you around for a little longer, etc. Eventually they lose, though.
Happy when you said you questioned yourself after your staff told you about the gas lighting. This shows its a continuous process of learning how to trust our judgements when dealing with narcissists.
I have already started reading it, and I got lots of insights from it. I remembered all these people that I had the impression they were nice. Only now, I notice they were doling out the C-Suite of Charm. Thank you Dr. Ramani for this informative book. I am so glad that it was available at my local Barnes & Noble.
Ordered your book for delivery this week. I think i have seen everything by you on RU-vid. You are awesome, so intelligent and compassionate. So proud of you. My narcissist was 40 years ago. Never again. He beat my self-esteem to a pulp. Had my first crippling panic attack because of him. Used every vulnerable thing i ever said against me. Charmed my friends to side with him. I still encounter narcissists but i walk the other way. Thank you, Dr. Ramani.
Read Why Does He Do That? Hide money from them so you can leave. Have financial independence. Find a shelter in your area. Document everything. Learn about domestic violence and narcissistic abusers.
2 people, who I termed sociopathic narcissists, I had to 100% disengage. PTSD, dictated that I had to survive and they were not in any good for me. Thank you so much for your information.
Just ordered the book in audible! I can’t wait to listen tysm for all of the free help you provide via your channel and other podcasts. You have helped me so much in my journey of navigating narcissism- not only in my most recent relationship - but you have also helped me realize the the people responsible for me as a child were also narcs which led me to seeking them out subconsciously in my adult relationships.
I have learnt so much from you over the last couple of years. I grew up in a narcistic environment but of course, I had no idea. I ended up with a narcisist but it took me a very long time to understand this. Making it my education became my goal and became quite good at recognizing the symptoms and how to deal with them. It has been a long road and a very tough one but knowing whom one is dealing with is of the essence. Outsmarting them and take their power away has made me strong, however every new day can be challenging. All the best to you, my strong fellowpeople❤
I ordered the book and it is really good! I'm typically a fast reader, but I'm savoring this book and stopping to think about what I've read. I'm sure I'll re-read it too. It's that good!
You are so good I’m a survivor of a narcissistic person, physical and mental abuse. He’s in jail, but he gets out in September. He calls me from jail, but I don’t answer all the time
THANK YOU! I just bought your book to support your healing work, even though I have watched dozens of videos and understand the narcissistic dynamic, I'm looking forward to having your book for reference. Of all the wonderful mental health practitioners, counselors, healers, teachers, support group facilitators, and other You Tubers on this topic, YOU have been the most instrumental in my education, healing, safety, and protection from further narcissists entering my life. I know the C-PTSD gets triggered at times, but overall, no contact and all your suggestions sustain my recovery.
Keep as much communication by text as possible. It makes it harder for the narcissist to twist words, deny, etc. And, it serves as a reminder to yourself about their bad behavior.
A good way to stay narcissist resistant? Become familiar with being able to read facial expressions - I started watching Annie Sarnblad - she was excellent and I thought, "Imagine being able to read facial expressions (micro expressions) really well and having this information from Dr, Ramani"? Fantastic! Both tools are so incredibly valuable.
Hey Ramani, you look great! Just to let you know, I'm watching more of your videos and listening and learning. I'm using opportunities to slowly cook a meal and listen at the same time. I've always been one to watch something or listen to something whilst cooking. I just want to share too, that I'm half Indian and I'm glad to see a woman of Indian ethic heritage take a centre stage in psychology and being a voice for narcissistic abuse survivors! I live in England, and us of South Asian heritage are coming up in the world, in politics, leadership roles, and being successful in different spheres, and I'm happy and proud about this! Sorry, I've gone on a bit of a tangent. But I've been born into the Indian culture, so I'm glad to see you on here! X
I dare say that #7, building support, is the most crucial aspect in this. The problem for victims of narcissistic abuse is that they are in desperate need of validation, something that they rarely seem to get, if at all. This reminds me of an experience that I have had at work when I noticed that a colleague was in quite a distraught state, something that was quite atypical for him so I immediately knew that something was sorely amiss. At first, when I attempted to probe for what could have caused this, he was a bit evasive and tried to tell me that things were alright, however, I immediately called the bluff and told him outright that things were _not_ alright and wanted to know what it was. It took a few more moments of convincing, but then he told me what was going on, and his mother who was working there as well (and who also seemed to have been affected) corroborated the story. Once he ended his story (and with all the plausibility and consistency checks passed that I had done while he was telling the tale) I just blurted out "That's gaslighting!" He was like "Huh?" so I explained the concept of narcissism and gaslighting, also giving some examples about how especially the latter is working and provided some links so he could obtain more information and properly educate himself about these concepts. Long story short, what had already been going on for quite some time back then already had both my coworker and his mother start to doubt themselves, but just by validating their experiences and pointing them to what was really going on, they eventually realized that they weren't going crazy, and once that finally hit, the relief of both was tangible.
I sure could have used all this valuable info back in 1985 when I met my husband but I’d never heard of narcissism until the last year or so….too late! For years, I thought he had a mental issue like bipolar that could be helped with drugs from the doctor, I even thought maybe he was psychotic but nothing quite made sense until I found out about Dr. Ramani and narcissism! I’m tied to him because of the financial situation, he has money, I don’t.
All I need is for my Granddaughter to get a lil older so I know she knows Popa & GM loves her & are here for her when they all are old enough to understand that it's over for the Narc Daughter!!! At that point if I ever see her again it'll be too soon!!! I have some pretty serious heart problems & my daughter has had enjoyed riding my back into the grave, not there yet but a lot closer because of her & she couldn't care less!!!
Very true! I’ve been trying to break up with a narcissistic close friend without explanation to my family and I became the target of the family’s rage. Everyone thinks they know better- “she’s so nice “, “she’s so kind “. A very difficult and complicated experience!
Waiting for book to arrive - love your videos- they have helped me so much to understand the gaslighting amd manipulation and to begin to heal. It is a painful process, to start to move away, but also liberating. Thank you, Dr Ramani.
I'm toying to break the trauma bond with my ex at the moment and have spent time learning about narcissistic people and working on getting myself back...I've never had a relationship in my life that's been so difficult to break free from or felt like I've lost myself. Your videos have helped so much, they've helped me walk away and stay away. I'm still getting messages from her going frm abusive, to charm, to manipulation and emotionsl blackmail but I don't reply and see her behaviour for what it is now
It’s interesting to watch how our minds work. Primed to protect them, but not ourselves. You are reciting the list; my first instinct is to absolve her of any wrongdoing. Criticizing myself as judgmental. As you proceed down the list; it’s an overwhelming landslide. Preset programming to absolve her is my delusion. Perfect slaves we were. Thank you Dr. Ramani.
Number 5 "SLOW DOWN" wow that just validated a lot for me. My mind and body has been telling me to slow down, take time making decisions about who i let in my life. But the narcissist voice programmed in my head tells me im being lazy or selfish and not accomplishing enough. But actually im doing the right thing. Thank you
