10 Wedding TRADITIONS to SKIP (but only if you want to ✌🏻) 

Anytime you feel like you have to shell out money for a tradition, ask yourself “why do I need this?” If the answer is just “because everyone else did”. You don’t need it!

Other things that aren’t necessary: expensive invitations, favors, a limo, videographer, an expensive outfit, bridal party outfits (robes, tshirts, anything with “bride” on it) Weddings pressure you to buy a lot of things you don’t need!

Thank you SO much! I want a dry wedding. I am an alcoholic and I have many family members who are. But, I’m getting so much flack for wanting a dry wedding. “It’s boring. No one will dance. No one will come”. Thank you for giving me permission to tell them no alcohol! *Got married 11/28/21 with a dry wedding and it was AMAZING. People danced. People enjoyed themselves. People who said they weren’t coming ended up coming and having fun! It’s your day, do what you want! ♥️♥️

Instead of a bachelor/bachelorette party we had a a bonfire with friends a couple months prior, and then a spa day with moms and sisters the week prior (wedding talk was banned). Totally better for us and the combo of the 2 of them was cheaper and more relaxing. Although after the wedding we had a paintball tournament.... nothing to do with the stress of hosting a party with 150 people.

You literally just described my wedding 😂 No bridal party, 50 guests, assorted cheesecakes and lemon squares, no grand entrance or exit, no bouquet toss. And it was my favorite day ever!! We did serve dinner though (pizza and garlic knots).

My boyfriend (23 at the time) was the ring bearer at his cousin's wedding lol he was asked because he (my boyfriend) is the youngest of his family line of cousins everybody got a good laugh when they saw a 6'2" full bearded man entering the venue with a "here comes the bride" sign in his hands!!!

Anyone else surprised she didn’t say anything about not needing favors? 😂😂

I recently went to a budget wedding. The couple had coffee and donuts afterward. It was the best!

I'm planning on giving my bouquet to my mother as we leave the aisle. I'm getting her favourite flowers especially for it. She doesn't know this yet though.

We decided early on that we aren't doing a bouquet/garter toss. Totally not our speed at all.

My daughter small intimate wedding in September 2019 was divine. She skipped almost all traditions and didn't listen to any of Martha Stewart advise. She didn't do flower or garter toss, first dance, favors, videographer, no bridal party, no kids, toast, speeches were limited only mom (me) bride and groom spoke and thanked everyone. It was a prefect day of being present, enjoying their guest talking to everyone, taking pictures, listening to the harpest play, eating the most delicious food and drinking the best wine. Their honeymoon was in the Maldives. They preferred to invite less people, skip traditions to save for their future house, children and have an amazing honeymoon.

My fiancé and I are getting married next year and we’re lesbians. I appreciate you saying Bride and Bride like it’s no biggie. My family does not support our love AT ALL. So, it feels good to hear someone say it like...eh...moving on. Love you so much!

I once heard an idea for instead of a ring bearer that I love. (Though it takes probably a small wedding and complete trust in all your guests.) You have your guests pass the rings from person to person to warm the rings/give their blessing/say a prayer/whatever. By the time for them, they, in theory, would be at the front for you

Jamie, you saying Bride and Bride so casually makes me want to cry with joy. That kind of inclusive language, without it being a big deal or an afterthought is so refreshing and appreciated. Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! 🌈😭😍

Honestly for my bachelorette party I got a few humans together and we played dungeons and dragons, For the hole weekend. The best idea ever!

1. You don't have to have a registry 2. Any form of bridal party 3. Flower girl and/or ring bearer 4. Any form of bachelor/bachelorette weekend 5. Big guest count 6. Professional officiant 7. Dinner 8. Alcohol 9. Grand entrance 10. Grand exit

I just want to mention, thank you for saying bride and bride when talking about the grand entrance. It's so nice to see that kind of casual inclusion!

I plan on having a big sleepover for my bachelorette. Fun games, movies, not yoo many snacks cuz I'll get sick, and a chance for my bridesmaids to bond some more.

The only things we're doing on this list is pro officiant (only priests, mayors and such can wed in Norway, we're doing a courthouse wedding which is free in our city), tacos for dinner, alcohol (BYOB after dinner) and a small cake (the rest cupcakes)! No flowers, decor, paper stuff.. We're only doing the things we WANT to, which isn't much! 60 ish guests, about $4500 cost max :D

I went to a wedding that the bride and groom did their ‘grand exit’ when leaving the church after the ceremony before we all went to the reception venue! So they got the cool pictures but they didn’t wait until the end of the night!!

My mom’s wedding to my stepdad was 40 people. There was no bridal party and my brother and I walked my mom down the isle! Don’t be afraid of nontraditional!

I'm eloping on a mountain top in Colorado. No guests just us, a photographer and officiant. I love attending weddings as a guest but Its just not for me or my other half. I have heard the stress for my friends of expectations of their wedding choices. I feel for anyone stressed over wedding planning

I am a wedding photographer and my wedding was everything but traditional, and it was PERFECT for me. I have been working weddings for over 5 years now so I have known for a while what I don't want to waste money on, so I had no bridal party, a free ceremony space, a ceremony one day and reception the next morning- brunch buffet with bloody and mimosa bar. The whole weekend was exactly what I wanted and we saved a lot of money.

I got married back in October. I didn't have a flower girl or ring bearer because kids under 15 weren't allowed at our wedding. I also didn't have alcohol, and bouquet/garter toss. We played the shoe game instead of the tosses. I absolutely didn't regret not having any of it.

Thank you sooo much for making this!! Weddings have gotten a little out of control with the rise of social media. It makes me feel a lot better after watching this for not wanting the same kind of wedding all my friends have had.

Oh my god I got SO MUCH FLACK in a bridal group for saying it was okay for brides to be uncomfortable with a garter toss/not want to do it!! Was told that my boundaries didn't matter, that I was too immature and childish to get married if I wasn't okay with doing it??? Wild how aggressive people get over OTHER PEOPLES' wedding choices

My fiancé and I are doing a budget wedding, getting a combo of chipotle and Olive Garden in my dad’s backyard, no bridal party and we’re both wearing jeans with a 60 person guest list, making most of the things ourselves and planning it ourselves. Saving so much $$$$$!

We didn’t have cake at our wedding! Grandma in law was a little bitter about it and went out to get cake after the wedding 😂

Can you possibly do a video on all the traditions that there are. Not necessarily the ones we should do but just what a typical traditional wedding day includes from the time we wake up until we leave the venue. I’m newly engaged and am not necessarily wanting to do all the traditional things but I do want to know them all so I can pick and choose what right for us

To add to the cake thing, some people want a cake for the look and tradition, so in such a situation you can have a small wedding cake made to cut and take photos with, and serve much cheaper sheet cake on the side to your guests. It can be the same flavors and everything, it just doesn't cost as much to make and decorate.

Hi Jamie!!!! If it might be useful to anyone, I also think that you can skip favors, in fact, I think you said on multiple occasions that most guests do not take favors with them anyways. As a rule of thumb, don't let family/friends/vendors/people push you to do things you don't want to do! Stay safe everyone ❤

Groom's cake is another item you can cut. Thanks for the modern wedding tips...our wedding will be our 3rd for both of us and we are both over 50. I was seeking ideas for a different kind of wedding.

Thank you for your thoughts about a dry wedding! We're having a dry, brunch wedding and I've struggled explaining to people that it's expensive and puts a lot of responsibility on us 🙃 Also, after watching your channel for a while, you inspired me to become an event planner/coordinator. I work in the wedding industry already (bridal gowns) and never thought about doing it professionally until a friend asked me to coordinate hers so I came to your channel for advice!

It's nice to hear more people are going the nontraditional route. The ONLY wedding tradition I have any interest in keeping is the "trash can" gift tradition, which was created by my great uncle, and gets a lot of the family involved. Practical items, gag gifts, as long as you can tie it to the wash-line and fit it all in the garbage can, anything goes! :)

I never considered not doing dinner for the reception but I think just appetizer, dessert, and drinks sounds amazing!!!

Thank you so much! I was feeling pressured to have a huge reception. So we’re doing Dessert only Reception . The catering alone cost more than my honeymoon and the venue. I refuse to go into debt for people who are just going to complain about the food anyway !

I’m a diligent student who has seen some of these already 😅 However, I’m getting married in September 2020, and you have helped me be the bride I want to be, and let us have the wedding we want, shame free! Nothing about our wedding is ‘typical’ or ‘traditional’ and our vendors and families are so excited to experience it once it happens ♥️ it will be OUR wedding OUR way! Thank you Jamie

My guest list is 32 people myself and groom included. Our wedding officiant is my step brother. My ring bearer is my almost adult-teenage brother. Our desert is s’mores (outdoor September wedding). My photographer is my cousin (who is building a photography business). We hope it will naturally transition from wedding to reception and into bonfire party. Our wedding venue is also our lodging so no grand exit. Just casual big party and get together with our closest family/friends. It’s small and covid-approved.

I was waiting for you to say. You don’t have to do a veil if you don’t want to. I guess I just wanted validation haha

My stepson got married last year. They had a fancy, sit-down dinner and a DJ. Everybody left after the first dance because there wasn't any alcohol. Most people don't like to dance sober. The place was rented until midnight but everyone (except immediate family) had left by 7:30. The bride was heartbroken.

YOU DIDN'T SAY FAVORS!! *gasp* haha :)

My mum had a cheese wedding cake and it was amazing. Also we are having a little cake and having our desert table.We are having cake, cupcakes, cake pops, shortbread, meringue kisses along with sweets. That is our desert for our meal

Thank you for this! I have been so stressed out about my upcoming wedding. One thing that stood out to me was the bouquet and garter tosses. I have always cringed at those. It always made me feel bad about being single.

You have been ESSENTIAL to planning my wedding! Love your content and your beautiful family!

We're doing a grand entrance mainly because my fiance and I are extra as hell. It's something that we're genuinely excited for, and I totally understand how some brides and grooms would not be down for it. As for garter and bouquet toss, I think we're going to throw them at the same time, and whoever catches what can! Again, we're extra and would love to see our friends Duke it out (even though 90% are happily single and will likely run in the opposite direction 😂)

Thanks Jaime! Now I can get rid of the cake and not feel guilty! My partner just hates cake and it’s expensive so we might have wedding pie and cookies 😊 love yah! Keep inspiring the world!

I’ve been watching your videos throughout planning my wedding and they have been so helpful! I never thought I’d get married because I didn’t feel a lot of the traditions are ‘me’ and now I have realised I can make it however I want :) now I’m super excited to get married :) thank you Jamie 💕

Yes!! Thank you! I'm not having cake at my wedding because I worked as a server at a wedding venue and SOOOOOOOO much cake is wasted. People don't want cake after eating appetizers, getting a drink, AND having a meal. We throw away most of the cake and it's a real shame. Also donuts and other desserts so so delicious, unique, and just not as heavy when you're about to dance.

I love these types of videos. I hadn’t thought about the grand entrance part. We have a large wedding party so it would also cut down on time to skip a big entrance for them and do a casual one for just us

have you ever seen a wedding where there wasn’t a first dance? i’m planning my wedding right now and the idea of having a first dance makes me feel sick, as someone with anxiety i can’t stand the idea but i feel like everyone would expect it?

Omg I NEEDED to hear this at this exact moment! I’ve watched all your videos like 3 times through throughout this last year as I’ve been planning, but the grand entrance thing has been giving me issues and I’ve been wondering what to do. I feel such relief, and all it took was Jamie Wolfer telling me that I don’t need to do it! ❤️❤️❤️

Absolutely love your content. Been watching on your personal channel too! An average UK wedding only has around 80 guests... and 4 bridesmaids/groomsmen. Its wild to think of such a large bridal party and large guest count in general!

Jamie I love your channel and I look forward to your intro music and your “Bye guys!” exit. So cute!! and it just brightens my day when I watch your videos and how they’ve been helping me about wedding planning. Keep up the upbeat personality 😊

Just watched three of your videos and appreciate your advice so much. I am happy to know that the things I think are superfluous are ok to skip. And I now know what guests will and won’t care about which will make planning much less burdensome. Kudos for great presentation!

Could you do a video on how to handle bridesmaids that you now regret asking to be a bridesmaid??😅 my maid of honor is my fiancé’s sister and it seems that she thinks it’s her wedding? Literally everything I do pisses her off and she complains about it to the other bridesmaids. And I. Can’t. Handle. It. Hellllppppp 😐😐😐

Yessssss!!!! I just got engaged and you listed a bunch of stuff I really didn't want to do and for some reason it felt really nice to have a total stranger on youtube agree with me so THANK YOU. I hate cake! And I have too many close friends to choose a bridal party! You are hilarious!

Thank you Jamie for all your tips and advice. Started watching your channel when i got engaged last year October. You’ve helped me a lot. Thank you ♥️

My wedding got postponed but I didn’t plan to do a bouquet toss in the original plan. I didn’t even realize that was a tradition I skipped! Still won’t do it haha!

This video makes me feel so much better about my choices! I'm basically already not doing any of those things (except dinner, I am having dinner) and the fee people that are coming keep being shocked at all the things I'm doing nontraditional

Honestly, your videos are absolutely clutch, and essential! Thank you! Thank you! They are a must for every bride & groom!

Jamie you are so sweet totally my fav human here at RU-vid! Thank you so much for all of your advices here. Love your channel and keep going back. Sending my best vibes and well wishes to you and your loved ones! Going to (hopefully still) have our wedding 1th of August with under 30 people total at a historical venue. Short lovely ceremony at outdoors park-like-garden area and then casually eating, drinking and having a good time together & looking around the venue (there is an art exhibition and the place have a long history + a few little things to get involved if wanted so). Then casually going together at local club if feeling like dancing a night away. Only traditions and/or well known wedding things we are going to have is my dad's speech. We are not into "wedding looking like wedding", dressing like a bride and groom, we don't have anything tossed, no games and quizzes nor anything leaded program, no traditional wedding food and no cake (still good warm food and dessert yes we have catering), no bridal/groom's party, no huge budget, no professional photo- or videographers (we are so lucky to have both a sister who is great with pro camera and want to give wedding photos as a wedding gift + we have a polaroid camera for quests to use). Just 2 of us getting married after 10 years together and having the nearest ones spending that special day with us. So what I am trying to say with this is that if you are reading this please remember that you and your soulmate are the most important so please do whatever you love to do with your wedding and that wedding day is just a one day and it's going to be lovely & you gonna have so much golden memories no matter what.

It's so much fun to see how many traditions are around the glob. I'm personally live in Poland and there's not such thing as grand exit, bride and groom just stays to the end of the party. Registry it's quite rere same as flower girls and ring bearer. And in legal way there is ceremony in a church or with official in city hall (or in any place you want with extra charge). And usually there's something name "oczepiny" which is around 12pm and it's time for games like tossing a bouquet (or a veil, with groom a tie)

Why on earth was I just thinking about where my turquoise ring is and I choose to watch this video and you have the same one!!!

Thank you so much for this video! I’m supposed to be getting married in August (pending this virus situation). I have so much pressure from friends and family for certain things, and this video just reassured my feelings on some subjects! 💕

My fiancé and I are older. I’ll be 51 when we marry he’ll be 65. We’re marrying in a Vegas wedding chapel with about 10-12 guests. I like the smaller weddings.

My fiance and I decided early on that we didn't want to do a garter toss, but we wanted to do something because we would do a bouquet toss. We ended up deciding he would do a 'Bow Tie Toss' instead where he throws his bow tie into the crowd!

I've been waiting for this video 🙌🏿

Thank you for calling me a dedicated student, I feel very special haha

I LOVE watching your videos and saving them for the future!!

Watching all the ads to support you a little extra right now! Thanks for the ray of sunshine today.

Sooo, I've just been named coordinator for a wedding. I'm honored and said yes, before realizing: I actually hate weddings... God I hate them. I think it's a complete waste of time, energy and money. But I see that it's really important to some people and I want the couple to have their special day as great as possible. I try to find out everything about weddings and landed on here. You are amazing Jamie! You would help me a lot, if you could make a video with a few things that are crucial for coordinators to do oder remember. Greets from Switzerland!

Your channel is so amazing. THANK YOU SO SO MUCH!!!!

I am not having a cake at my wedding and I have had SO MANY people tell me I have to have cake... i dont like cake, my fiance doesnt like cake so we are getting giant chocolate ship cookies!!

YES I’ve been waiting ❤️❤️❤️

I bought this using the coupon code, and I'm single... this is how you know shelter in place has driven me crazy. I bought it because I wanted to understand weddings as someone who never really cared before Jamie really made it an interesting and exciting topic with all her info on how a wedding is like a symphony and it all works together. It's really useful information.!!! I probably won't need it for longer than a month and debated returning but the info she gives is DEF worth $100. Thanks, Jamie, I love your content!

Love all this. We are doing ice cream instead of cake and are doing our “grand exit” style photos as we walk back up the aisle so we don’t have to pay the photographer to stay late. Plus everyone is already in one spot. Just seemed to make sense to us.

My boyfriend and I (whenever the time comes with everything right now) have decided to do a flower dog and ring dog instead of flower girl and ring bearer! Too many small children between our families that it would inevitably hurt feelings and start arguments. So doggo's it is!! 😄

I needed to hear this ❤️ Thank you!

This is so absolutely helpful! First time seeing your videos! Thank tou

Loved this video. Thank you! 💜

Omg aa soon as i announced my engagement and picked my Maid of Honor she tried taking over my entire wedding....like When we do the bridal entrance i want to walk in to this song and i had to tell her like im not doing a bridal party entrace(like to me its stupid and cringe annnnnd the ceremony is on the same site as venue((cuz also making people drive here and there is ridiculous)) sooo she was all mad then she was mad because i told her i wasnt doing a bouquet toss or garter toss cuz i also think thats gross no man needs to bw under their womans dress in front of their parents and grandparents groossssss. Anyhow literally everyone thinks its their wedding and the endless opinions are giving me PTSD

LOL My friend is hopefully getting married this year (I say hopefully because of this entire covid *snaps* thing) and we're planning her bachelorette party whether she wants one or not. But basically what we're planning is getting an airbnb with a pool, pigging out on pizza and other favorite foods, drinking some wine and soda and having like a girls night sleep over haha and none of it is coming out of her pocket

First minute of your vid and I had to comment: I don't mind the pre-recorded vids one bit! Bring em on!

1st time listener! I needed this reinforcement!

My hubbie and I met thru a Christian 4wd club, which supported 2 Australian organisations. We asked guests just to donate to those, instead of any present/registry. We had everyone we knew come to the service, and just bring domething for morning tea instead, so stacks of food. It was too early in the day for grog, which was fine with us. Too crowded for dancing either. Then my brother had us for lunch: bridal party, interstate guests, and immediate family. We had photos in his garden, so we weren't holding up lunch. We had a spit roast company do our food. My whole outfit was from thrift stores/ op shops, so cost

Aww Jamie, I've never seen you look so sad. I want to give you a hug! I'm a bride who had to postpone and yes we totally got this!! Hang in there.

THANK YOU FOR SAYING NO CAKE IF YOU DON'T WANT CAKE! 👏👏👏 I keep telling people I don't want a wedding cake because I'm not going to spend an arm and a leg on a desert I don't even care for and they think I'm crazy! "You're at least going to have a cake for you and your hubby to cut, right?" Probably not! What part of I don't care for cake don't y'all understand? Okay sorry. End rant. 🤣

Jamie, you can repeat yourself anytime. As a subscriber, I love your channel and content. If it's really important, of course you're going to say it more than once!

Watching all those ads for ya girl ❤️

Love this video Jamie! For officiant, depends on your state if they accept people that get certificate online (my state has strict rules on officiants). Another note is that my fiancé and I are having mixed gender sides (4 women 1 man for bridal party, 2 women 3 men for groomsmen) it’s all about who you want up there!

I am really proud that we did not do most of the things on your list (especially the little kid flower girl. Total fan girl moment but I digress). Thx for giving permission to those engaged couples who strive to have a wedding that is completely their own. ALSO YOUR ENDING IS ADORABLE AND I AM A HUGE FAN OF YOU AND YOUR LIFE AND YOUR BUSINESS

Love the lamps LOL

Lol at the “I’m a mom!” comment I felt that. 😂🙌🏼

We're planning to have tea and the cake in the afternoon after the ceremony. Our package at the venue included dessert and evening snacks, so it felt like too much to have cake after that. This makes it cheaper as well because no cocktail hour - there will be enough wine and beer for the rest of the evening. Plus, it makes it easier to include kids in this part of the day and then ask that they'll go home for the dinner part of the evening.

Thank you for this!!!!

A new tradition that’s taking place in many Christian and Catholic weddings instead of the garter toss is the husband washing his wife’s foot to symbolize his love and service to her. It’s a take on the Holy Thursday Maundy ceremony.

The video I needed THE MOST!! Thank u for taking all those stresses off of me!! Jamie made me do it🙊🙉🙈💕 You are definitely my excuse lol

We are doing bundt cakes for our wedding! And I'm having a Halloween pajama party for my bachelorette super fun but simple!

I once saw a picture of a peacock on a cake and the tail was cupcakes and I thought that was fucking genius

Haven’t even listened yet, but I appreciate and need to hear this.