How to Pick Your BRIDAL PARTY 

I literally have like 2 friends

I love how we already picked out our bridal party but I watched this anyway. Haha I just can’t NOT watch a Jamie Wolfer video!

I’m having a really small wedding. My dogs are actually the best man and maid of honor(:

My sister was so against being a bridezilla that she refused to stress even when she should have at least a little bit. Her planner was SO incompetent and when i tried to help she shut me down saying she wasn't going to stress about it. Result: WEEK OF THE WEDDING, there's no list with all the guests names, there's no music for the processional, there's no timeline for the party, the bouquet was completely forgotten, and a million things like that. And as she didn't want to stress herself out, I did EVERYTHING for her. Gave her my own wedding playlist, called around to sort out the little things, begged the florist to take some flowers from the centerpieces for the bouquet and all that. Come the wedding day she had 22 people in her bridal party. To say that I felt unimportant and rejected while her husband's friends' girlfriends were standing beside her in bridesmaids photos is an understatement. Not that I wanted special attention, but being by my sister's side in at least *one* of the pictures of the bridal party would have been nice.

girl you literally have a video for EVERYTHING! Not even engaged, I just find your videos so entertaining and informative lol

Sometimes I wish all brides watched your channel. I am a bridesmaid and was not forewarned that I would be paying all the things I paid for or that I had to take 4 days off from work to be a bridesmaid. I will definitely be warning my bridesmaids what i expect before they accept and also trying to make sure I am not asking for too much!

I find it so interesting that in America you have such large bridal parties, in the UK the couple are expected to pay for the dresses/attire/anything else for the bridesmaid and groomsmen so they're often much smaller. I love seeing the differences between the two types of weddings

If you're up for it, I'd love to see a full video about not having a bridal party! Thanks :)

We’re having four on each side. Two of my bridesmaids are my sisters and the other two are my best friends and they’re my maid and matron of honor. I definitely wanted to keep it small. We ran into major politics when I did not ask my future sister in law, but I don’t regret it because we never have gotten along and it’s just constant jealousy in her end. She’s already attempted to sabotage our wedding twice and I’m just NOT about to involve her in my day with that behavior haha. I think I’m ultimately going to be really glad I chose to do this the way I did!

I conveyed my minimal expectations to my bridal party (my siblings and my bff -- I have a lot of sisters I couldn't not ask to be in the party I and preferred to keep my party small), and they still gave me pushback about literally everything and didn't even plan me a bachelorette party )= I talked about budgets when them, the color I wanted their dresses, the one style I did not want them to wear, the boutique we would shop at after determining budgets, and tried to say what I wanted for the bridal and bachelorette parties, and every single time they caused me stress and didn't listen to me (especially my mom, who decided she was in the bridal party and took over planning everything about planning the bridal shower, which she insisted had to be a surprise without asking me for even my availability), and I had to plan my own bachelorette party because I found out 5 or 6 weeks out from the wedding that beyond one very brief conversation, my bridal party didn't discuss it at all. I felt so small learning that and finding out from my MOH what my own sisters were saying about me behind my back. My personal recommendation would be to make sure you have a friend on board who can take charge, especially if you have a pushy family or members of the party who are passive people.

I’m not having a bridal party for my wedding this October. I want everyone to come as a guest and not have to worry about a certain dress or doing extra jobs! Also, love that you touched on declining an invite. I was asked to be a bridesmaid but I knew I didn’t have the money and mental health for that commitment, but she understood and it was a beautiful wedding! 💗

I wasn’t concerned about the amount of friends I had until it came to wedding planning...

Any tips for non-social brides who have just 1 person they want in their side when their social butterfly of a fiancé will have at least 5? lol

This 👏🏻 right 👏🏻 here👏🏻 My fiancé and I got engaged March 3rd of this year. Do you know how long we were engaged before he started asking groomsmen to be part of our special day? ONE HOUR. Just ONE! Now, guess what we’re dealing with 6 months later? We have a groomsman that had a child and has to back out due to those obligations (Obviously, this is completely understandable and we encouraged him to come as a guest without the pressures of being in the bridal party. He was relieved and thankful that we were understanding of his situation, thank goodness.), one groomsman hasn’t spoken to my fiancé in a couple of months and then there’s another that my fiancé has decided he would rather swap out for someone he is closer with. What an absolute mess. 😅 Thankfully, I’ve convinced him not to ask anyone else until at least a year out from our wedding.

I'm going to be honest, I didn't want to have a wedding at all, but my fiance convinced me otherwise. And one of the biggest points of contention between he and I at the very beginning of the wedding planning process was the bridal party. I didn't want one, he did. After I explained to him everything that would be involved with having a bridal party (picking out suits for the men, deciding on dresses for the women, rehersals, flowers, boutonnieres, etc.) he very quickly agreed with me that we didn't need the headache, nor did we want to force that headache on our friends. For some people, the wedding party is important and this video helps with making that decision. For other people like us, if it's not for you or doesn't make logical sense (we're only having about 50 people attending our wedding), then you can scrap it.

I have a brother and a sister, my fiance has a brother. My sister is the maid of honor and his brother is the best man. No one else! We have two people in our party and I am really happy with the low key-ness of it all. I am hoping it will feel more intimate that way. OH and my brother is ordained so he will be marrying us! :)

Our nieces and nephews are our flower girls and ring bearers. We decided that instead of shelling out for a small suit or fancy dress, we asked the kids to come as super heroes! They are super, Haha!, excited and will be much happier in costumes!

Number 3 is my favourite tip. So important to look back on photos and see people you love and not people you no longer speak with beside you. For this reason I'm having my sister, my best friend and my sister-in-law to be who I get along with awesomly.

Hello my favorite wedding planner. I think this was the hardest part of my wedding. I only had a maid of honor for a long time. I think the hardest part was people who just assumed I was going to-ask them to be in my wedding 😒. My future sister n law was very upset that I did not ask her or her kids to be in our wedding but in the end it was about us and not them and it all worked out.

This is the video I’ve been waiting for ❤️❤️❤️ Thank you SO MUCH! * creates a list*

Watching your videos made my wedding go by so smoothly! Thank you!!!

Thank you girl, you helped so much!

Your videos are soooo helpful!!

Yessss!!! I needed this video 🙌🏼

I was literally just thinking you needed to make a video like this YESTERDAY!

Yay you uploaded ! 💜

I have 3 brothers and my fiancé has 4 brothers. We have no sisters. So he’ll have 6 groomsmen, and I’ll have 3 bridesmaids and 3 bridesmen 😂😂

How do you seriously have the best videos?! I’m so glad I found your channel!

As always, such great hair! 💁🏼‍♀️ loved the video, especially the rule of...forget the rules xo

I love binge watching your videos, just love your voice. I am getting married and you’ve been a huge help

I love your videos!! You’ve literally helped me plan my wedding and I wouldn’t have been able to do it without you! I have a question though that I can’t find a video on! When would you suggest having my bridesmaids and groomsmen have their attire? We are 9 months away and I wasn’t sure if it was too early to have them try on some dresses!

My husband & I got married March 29th. He had his best friend as best man, his close female cousin as Honorable Lady, & his son as a groomsman. I had my 2 adult daughters as MOHs, my 2 grandsons gave me away (both parents are deceased) & 3 youngest grands as bridesmaids & groomsman. It was OUR day & we broke all the "rules". Thanks for your videos, Jamie...they rock!

Already picked out my bridal party.. I just love Jamie's energy! Happy to report my small little bridal party (4 on each side) does fit in the guidelines Jamie gave!

I would love to see the pics of you and your wedding party! We’re going to have 20 in ours and I was wondering what that looked like in pics. Thank you!! :)

Love your vids !!

I know this is a late comment but first, I love watching your videos they are helping me a lot plan my wedding. Second, I'd like to add, our dog is going to be our ring bearer and looking at about 4 groomsmen and bridesmaids. We have around 50 people we are looking to invite, so pretty small lol. I cannot wait, thank your for the help and inspiration!

Another great video ❤

My Fiancé has 8 guys and he went out right away and told everyone they could be bridesmaids. So after a year of drama I just have his sister and niece. Personally I would rather have none but they are excited. I have found bridesmaids are just work. As always thank you for your videos, the brides in my group love them!

This is super tough for me! Trying to keep it small but there’s so many people that I want close on that day! Like my sister should be my maid of honor but I don’t know if she could handle the planning, such a good thing to consider

i am hoping for both of us to keep a small group for our bridal party. hopefully 6 at the most. this was helpful theres a lot of things i’ve always wondered about all of the bridal party details and expectations!

Great video!

Can you do a video on ushers? I saw maybe one thing about them on pintrest and we have two guys that are gonna be ushers but have no idea what they are supposed to do. Please and thank you! Love your videos!!!

Do a video about bachelor/bachelorette parties and other events involved (wedding showers, engagement parties, etc) pretty please!

My sister isn't my maid of honor simply because she is a freshman in college this year. She has so much going on with being away from home for the first time and having the first taste of adulthood. She doesn't have time do anything a maid of honor is expected to do. She's also only 18 going on 19, she can't even go out with us for my bachelorette. Legally. I've also asked her about her feelings on it and she said that she doesn't even WANT to be maid of honor for all of those same reasons. She is a bridesmaid and picked out the dresses she and my other bridesmaids will wear and she's perfectly fine.

Thank you SO much! This is exactly what I am dealing with right now! He wants it to be balanced, but that means scrapping one of my friends.. now I can jusy go: "Well, JAMIE says..." 😋

So good to hear. In Switzerland Bridal Parties aren‘t really a thing / aren’t traditional... I grew up in California the first few years of my life. And I still want to have Bridesmaids & Groomsmen. I think it’s just awesome and a great way to share the responsibility and some of the tasks that come along with wedding planning. And also you can show everyone that these are special people in your life. But I know a lot of couples who didn’t have a bridal party and it worked just fine.

I was going to ask if you could give a refresher to this video but after watching this video you have definitely helped me out. I’m trying to plan for a small wedding but have 14 ppl in the bridal party and I thought woah this is way too much but it makes the friend dynamic equal. And your last rule is what make things clear for me. Thank you Jamie!!

So far I've asked my cousin to be my maid of honor, and I don't think I need more than that. My future sister in law is on my "decor crew" and a good friend is helping plan the back yard shindig/hog roast for later in the week. I guess they count as part of the "bride tribe" even if they aren't all standing with me on the day.

Yay yay YAYYY!!!! I'm so honored that the best flower girls ever made it into one of your videos!!!! Definitely one of our FAVORITE decisions, topped only by the decision to marry each other and hire you as our coordinator. FREAKING CRUSHIN' IT GIRL!!!!!!!

It's like you read my mind!

Hi Jamie! I love your videos, they're so helpful and watching them tends to calm me down from most of my bridezilla moments. I have a question for you- I have a lot of friends and while I love them all dearly and am so excited to have them share in my special day with me, I wish I had thought through on who to pick for my bridal party a little more exclusively because I have ended up with 10 (and even that was cutting it down.) And therefore, my groom picked 10 groomsmen. Needless to say we have a large wedding party - but everything else about our wedding is very simple. Do you have any tips/suggestions on how to make a large wedding party not seen so overwhelming? Like, walking down the aisle, the announcing part, things like that? Am I just paranoid that it will come off as obnoxious when everything else isn't going to be extravagant? Thanks for all of your tips and tricks!

We are getting married this September (I'm 100% binge watching everything u post) our wedding party is my little sister (maid of honor), my FH' s best friend (best man), and our 3 young daughters joining us as well. I'm doing everything myself so the less complicated the better💕

We’re trying to figure out our wedding so I’m binge watching all your videos 😂 my family is tiny and my fiancé’s family is huge... we’ve balanced it so that I’m having 1 bridesmaid and 2 flower girls (we have twins ❤️) and he’ll have his best man and 2 of his brothers up at the front with him. We’re not going to have our parents completely involved because of step families and that way we feel it will be more intimate between us and our own little family ❤️

Love your videos!! I’m not even engaged but I know it’s in the near future and I want to be prepared because I know how my family is. Lol. My bf and I want to opt for a no bridal party, and have our immediate families enter, almost like a parade, before we enter the ceremony. So they still get to feel part of it, but no hurt feelings for being selective with the bridal party.

Loving your videos!! I'm quite newly engaged and struggling with who to pick as I'm Australian and my fiancé is Irish so we're planning to get married and live in Ireland. I want my sisters as bridesmaids and they'll be in Australia so I'm totally realistic that they won't be able to help as much which I'm ok with because I still want them apart of the wedding. But I'd like at least one person, I guess like a maid of honour, to be in Ireland and be able to help me with things like dress shopping or fun wedding diys but I don't have anyone I'm that close with... My fiancé has 3 sisters but I'm not that close with them and couldn't include one and not all three and I have a few friends in Ireland but none I'm that close to so feel like I'd be forcing it a bit to ask them, you know? Anyway, whinge over 😂

It made me feel better to hear that your sister was your maid of honor, even though she wasn’t close and couldn’t make it to everything. The only person I could see being my maid of honor is my best friend since kindergarten, but she moved to Arizona and I am in Michigan. I’m stressed about something happening and her not being able to make it.

When I get married I know for sure I will include my 3 sisters, 2 of my closest girlfriends, my husband to be had a sister(s) I may include at least one, and finally I’m considering adding my cousin as a junior bridesmaid. As far as ring bearers and flower girls I would choose my little cousins who are actually the 3 younger siblings of the junior bridesmaids as one of the flower girls and her little two brothers as my ring bearers and for my final flower girl one my bridesmaids is having a little girl soon and I would actually pick her.

Can you do a video on having no wedding party pros/cons? Have you ever had a wedding like this?

YESSSSSSSSSS!!!! I’ve been waiting for this. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!

Please do a Jr. Bridesmaid?! There’s no clear video or article. I rlly need this, ty 😊

Could you do a video on the engagement party? What should be involved in it and should we invite those in the “B list” to the engagement party since they won’t really be invited to the wedding?

There was never any question with my bridesmaids! My best friend of 13 years as my maid of honor, my sisters and my cousin as my bridesmaids. My FH had a little more trouble figuring out his groomsmen

I have 4 bridesmaids and my Fiance has 4 groomsmen. For a while he didn't know who he was picking and may have only had 2 or 3. I have about 10 female friends and I didn't want to have to chose 1 over the others. So we decided that if he only had 2 then I would pick 1 and have my brother on my side. It all ended up working out but I wouldn't have been opposed to having my brother on my side with me.

We’re planning for a tiny ceremony with only immediate family and close friends. I will technically have a bridal party, but they will be seated day of because otherwise half of our guests would be standing with us. We’re really excited to have people to plan and party with us, but we’re also happy they get to relax on the big day with our families.

Thanks for all the lovely advice Jamie! I just have a question regarding the bridal party and such. I have a younger brother, one who is significantly younger than me and my fiancé. He's definitely too old to be the ring bearer or the bible boy but he's still too young to be doing the Bachelor things. I want to involve him in some way but I'm not sure how. Do you have any recommendations?

YESSS. I'm so glad you made this. I've always thought about who I would ask, and in some ways it seems obvious, but in other ways it seems so tough. I also appreciate your first rule, because my boyfriend has a large and wonderful group of friends who I love so much.. but I have a feeling we're really going to have to pick and choose so he doesn't end up with like 14 people on his side and maybe 5 on mine 😂 people have told me to just double up the groomsmen with the bridesmaids, but idk if I'd want to do that for like alllllll of them.

Hey just wanted ask what best options/ideas for venues do you have for people planning a wddding. Like a list of top 5 or so ideas for venues. Another question would be maybe how to correctly make a theme happen and where to look for ideas or decor. Thank you so much love your videos.

I just got engaged and I found your videos and have been binge watching since 1 am it’s now 4:45 am 🤦🏻‍♀️

Wish I had watched this before talking about my bridal party! I asked for my two closest friends to contribute towards their dresses and both of them have decided to pull out because of money problems (dresses, accommodation, planning the hen party) they pulled out via text too. i've decided to just have my sisters and my OH cousin (who is like a sister).

My fiancé and I will be at the alter with just one person on each of our sides (his twin and one of my best friends-who set us up on a blind date). But! I have a very large group of friends/family in my ‘bride tribe’ (19, in total...some very local, some on different contents) so I’ve asked all to partake in whatever they’re able to and to wear similar colors on the wedding day so we can take group photos. The wedding will be at my parents 2 acre property so the morning of getting ready in the home is *hopefully going to be open-ended and easy for everyone too.

I just got engaged last weekend and we are getting married November 6, 2021. We’ve already decided on 4 people on each side for our bridal party, 10 people total including us. We haven’t asked them yet, as we still have about 2 years before the wedding. But we can’t stop wedding planning 👰🏽👨🏽‍⚖️💍

I’m having 10 and he’s having 7! I’ve been soooo stressed about this because I don’t want it to look weird.. but he can either add people he knows he won’t be friends with forever or have the people he really wants. This made me feel a little better though! Just hoping no one talks about it 🙄

I’m in the same boat you were...my fiancé asked 6 people right away! And I barely had 3 people to ask... I added a few people but then I had some drop out so he still has 6 and I have 4.

My fiance and I are having a bridal party of 3 lol. His brother is the best man and my best friend is the MOH and my other friend is the bridesmaid. The best man is gonna have one woman on each arm haha hes gonna feel like such a stud.

I have four bridesmaids (all from the same group of friends to keep things simple) and there's also four groomsmen :) I allowed him to pick his number first then I selected mine

When my friends C and D got married, C (the bride) had about 10 bridespeople (1 a bridesman, her brother in a shirt the same color as the bridesmaids' dresses; the rest were bridesmaids, including but not limited to her sisters) while D (the groom) had about 5 groomsman. If I recall correctly, the wedding party walked out 3 at a time, with 2 bridesfolk per groomsman. When my friends B and K got married, B (the bride) had 2 bridesmaids while K (the groom) had 2 groomsmen. When my friends A and K got married, they had a flower girl (I don't know how they know her) and their just-a -few-years-younger brothers as ring bearers.

Hey, love your channel! I had a question about when choosing a bridesmaid: is there a certain age that they must be, because my sister is 9 years younger than I am, so if i were to get married in the next 5 years the oldest she would be is 16! So, I was just wondering if she would be too young causing complications especially when they sign as witnesses. Thank you!

We are getting married in 19 days eeee! We each have 5, I have 2 close friends, my brother, my sister-in-law, and my childhood best friend. He has his older brother as BM and friends. We kept it simple with rentals for the suit wearers and my 2 ladies just had to stick with the color scheme (black) but style/length/shoes etc doesn't matter. I always enjoy your content, thank you!

Very interesting topic because here in France it's not a common practice to have a bridal party ! I've never even been to a wedding where there were bridesmaids or groomsmen ! I know, shocking lol Some people do it now, but I think it's more of a trend inspired from american weddings. Here, when there are "bridesmaids", they really are not expected to do as much as yours are, if that makes sense ? :) one of my friend was once a bridesmaid, and she was asked to organize the bachelorette party, which is by no means easy but she had nothing special to do on the wedding day. So I like to watch your videos and learn more about other people's ways to do things :)

For me, most of my bridesmaids would not have been able to afford to be in my wedding. So I made the choice to spend part of the wedding budget on their dresses and a few other things they would need for the wedding. It was more important to me that they were there with me than for me to spend that money on other things that were less important.

I thought my fiance and i had a large bridal party cause i have 7(did have 8 but i have to kick one out unfortunately) and he has 7 guys and 1 girl on his side but 10 and 11 is crazy to me haha i couldn't keep it straight. Right now im having trouble picking out what theu should wear to fit all different budgets since my sister(moh) is giving me a hard time about money

no official bridal party for me. just my bestfriend as my maid of honor and my gals. If they want to help out with somethings great, if not i'm happy if they're down for a party

Can you please do a video on what to do if you and your significant other both want to have the same person as your bro’s maid/groomsmen. My boyfriend and I both share the same group of friends or males and are currently torn over who should get to have friend A On their side of the bridal party

We have decided to keep it strictly family for our party - I do not have siblings so my two closest cousins will be my bridesmaids and his two brothers will be his groomsmen.. We are also having two ring bearers, a little girl and boy.

I would like to add, many people now work on weekends. It’s a super common thing. And it can be difficult to get time approved off of work for every single event. So if someone has a job where they are required to work weekends, they may not be able to go to every event.

I was a groomsmen for my sisters wedding. l live in Florida and she lives in California. The only thing i attended was the Rehearsal, Rehearsal Dinner and Wedding. My sister had a bachelorette party for her bridesmaids and maid of honor (there were only a total of 3 of them). I don't think my brother-in-law had a bachelor party.

Can you make a video of different ways to incorporate people in the wedding without making them a bridesmaid / groomsmen?

I have 4 girls on my side, my cousin, 2 of my best friends, and my sister is my maid of honor. Ive had them picked out from the beginning. My fiancé doesn't have many friends or family members. He asked his best friend to be his best man and that was it. I was freaking out about how lopsided it was going to look. He finally did ask one more friend so I'm a little less stressed.

Such an exceptionally thorny subject for the bride especially ime anyway ~ That said thank goodness that’s not in my culture though not necessarily completely unheard of either phew.

I wish I had started watching your videos BEFORE I went nuts and made loose promises to people. Oh well! PS random by my mom just bought me "Bridal Bargins" by Denise Fields and although the book is mostly dated, it has a great section about the pitfalls of wedding dress shopping. PLEASE do a video on this. Also had some disturbing remarks about dress preservation...wondering what you thoughts are on this.

nice video

& Ring bearer pets! ♡ In my case bc im having a beach wedding so my fiances youngest brother but not a tiny child is gonna carry a cute tray with the rings and a photo of my son (my cat) haha (We arent doing flower girl bc of the beach + no kids under 12. :D)

I've had the most anxiety over picking my bridal party so I'm glad I've made my choice and I'm super happy with it. I stuck with my three closest friends from University, and since we make up our own little gang I've decided against adding someone else since we've hung out just the four of us so much that people tend to feel left out when we get together. In the last year or so we haven't been as close due to an arsehole boyfriend but we've already started patching things up now that we're all on the same team again. It's all I wished for when I decided to stick with my Uni gang and I'm so happy. I've explained the situation to other close friends and they totally understand. I'm still including them in the planning so that they don't feel left out just cause they're not officially in the party. Now I just feel like I've got to go and get myself another guy friend so that my only close manfriend doesn't feel singeled out on my bachelorette as the token gay guy. Is there anything I can be anxious about that I'm not? No? No. 🤷

Seriously though, my fiancé was like we should elope and small wedding. now that we are planning our guest list and bridal party count went up because he keeps adding to it! lol they're so cute.

I’m debated so much how to do my bridal party. I have a really close friend and my sister that are both married and I can’t choose who to be a maid of honor or to do both of them. I know I could make one a matron of honor but they are both married so how would that work. And then I have two other close friends that have babies so I’m not sure if I should ask them or not but I was just in their weddings a couple years ago and I would like them in mine. Then I have 1 single friend I want in my wedding. Please help with any suggestions. Oh yeah and my fiancé has 5 best friends he wants on his side

My fiance and I are planning this out still. We have many more gal friends than guys, so we are going to have "bridesmaids" and "bride tribe" for pretty much all of the reasons mentioned. My maid of honor lives a couple states away, so she won't be able to help out as much. And I do not want people to feel obligated to spend money they don't have. But I will be asking them to help me out especially if they live close to me and the venue (just... Without the obligations).

My fiance has no friends, and will not have a best man/woman. I have tried not to pressure him at all because we're having a small wedding of maybe 15 people, but I am having my sis as my maid of honor.

My best friend since childhood didn't have a bridal party. My boyfriend and I and great friends with both her and her husband, but she had said that once he was involved in a friends wedding, and it cost them almost a $1000 so she didn't want to do that to any of their friends. To each their own, but I've always been bummed out I never got to be my best friends bridesmaid.

Jamie I have to ask, do you do full wedding coordination from out of state? I ask because, my boyfriend and I are not yet engaged officially because although he was planning his proposal for this month my mental health took a hit this semester and I’ve had to do some me time and haven’t been able to think about a wedding. We should be getting engaged after the new year though, and I’ve already started planning in my head! I had a wedding planner picked out from where I lived and adored their work, but I found out the bare minimum budget they work with is $40,000! It broke my heart because they had been the thing I wanted most as far as “vendors” go but we had not planned a budget that big. Then tonight I was sitting here binge watching your videos and I was like ummmm duh! I adore Jamie, she understands wanting to save money but still have a beautiful wedding, etc. So anyways I was just wondering if you offer that at all. I went on your website and on wedding wire and couldn’t quite tell!

Wish I’d seen this video before we picked! I need help breaking the news to someone in my party that they need to step down due to their constantly toxic injections :(