100% Autistic & 36% Emotional Intelligent

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I've been working on building my Emotional Intelligence this week and it's been pretty tough going. In fact, the whole process has left me feeling quite mentally ill although not in a bad way.
I explain this and share a little about the tools I'm using and the process I'm going through to help me fill in the gaps in my journey to becoming a better version of myself.
I don't see any reason why I can't be both 100% autistic and 100% Emotional intelligent - having a low EQ is NOT inevitable for us neurospicy folk :)

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20 июл 2023

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Комментарии : 25

@minkwells8434 11 месяцев назад

I have recently completed a group therapy course about managing your emotions, obviously designed for neurotypicals. As an Autistic person, I found that there was not much there that I could relate to. They did mindfulness meditations, which I find very tedious and somewhat pointless for me personally; I had great difficulty processing reading and taking in/navigating stuff on the screen whilst the therapist was speaking; I found it difficult to imagine scenarios and relate to examples that were given. The whole thing was very frustrating and did not meet my personal needs at all. There were basically two things I got out of it. One was realising that it takes me so long to process emotions - can be hours, days weeks, even years in some instances before the penny drops. The other was that I relate to the concept of the "Wise Mind", which is what they were supposed to be teaching/suggesting/encouraging, as opposed to the "Emotional Mind" or the "Logical Mind". The Wise Mind is an amalgamation of the two, or somewhere between the other two, which is the only thing that really makes sense to me - everything needs to be considered to reach a sensible conclusion in my opinion. That's not to say I always get things right, but I am more likely to if given enough time to process everything that needs to be considered - which is longer than most NT people realise or can be bothered to make the effort to do.

@artemisXsidecross 11 месяцев назад

Being autistic, I have found NT do not learn in the same way; we need to find teachers who understand our dialect and can communicate within it. To coordinate the mind’s executive brain function with the administrative brain function needs some source of wisdom brain function. Learning to sail a boat requires wisdom brain function to use the wind to tack a direction in spite of the wind direction. To have autism is to need special training. A working-draft horse is not trained the same way as an Arabian horse that is known for its speed, stamina, intelligence, and gentleness. Both horses have shown their value and worth while learning by different ways.

@suddenlyautistic 11 месяцев назад

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences like that. I agree, group work like that is really tough for me too. I completed a short DBT course for families who struggle with emotional regulation and intelligence. That was doable for the skills like Wise Mind, Dear Man and the Grey rock technique. I struggled with the break out group sessions though and felt very alienated. I needed a week to get over that!

@minkwells8434 11 месяцев назад

@@artemisXsidecross That is a ver inspired and apt way of putting it, thank you.

@roxanes43 9 месяцев назад

That sounds like a lot to take on, just like renovating. I'm learning a lot. This will be helpful to explore a wheel of emotions.

@tracirex 11 месяцев назад

Im doing the same thing as you are with the emotion wheel and having similar experiences at age 60. also buying childrens books on emotions like "the color monster". i relate to the illustrations better than dictionery words. i see you are headed towards 1k subscribers. congratulations

@suddenlyautistic 11 месяцев назад

Aaaahhh yes that's a good idea too. Yes I'm very surprised about the numbers. I decided early on not to get hung up on viewing stat's and playing the algorithm as I'm too tired for that type of pressure but it's definitely nice to know a few people are finding the content of value.

@artemisXsidecross 11 месяцев назад

@@suddenlyautistic I do appreciate your content.

@heedmydemands 10 месяцев назад

❤

@KittyInTheGarden 11 месяцев назад

If you haven't come across Paul Micallef's RU-vid channel Autism from the Inside, I would highly recommend it. He has a special interest in Emotional Intelligence and teaches stuff really well.

@suddenlyautistic 11 месяцев назад

I do watch him from time to time and agree, he's great.

@tracik1277 11 месяцев назад

I went to see him give a live talk recently.

@suddenlyautistic 11 месяцев назад

@@tracik1277 that would have been great

@minkwells8434 11 месяцев назад

@@suddenlyautistic It was a good evening. I went with an Autistic group. Yo Samdy Sam and Chris Bonello talked as well. (Oh, for clarity, I am also Traci K, this is my other channel on my main computer because I can't change it on my iPad for some technical reason I haven't got round to dealing with lol)

@aspidoscelis 11 месяцев назад

I've been looking periodically for a classification of emotions that's based on data, and research. So far as I can tell, there isn't one. This is absolutely mind-boggling to me. Massive amounts of research on emotions-but we don't even know how to tell emotions apart except by the "well, you just know..." method.

@aspidoscelis 11 месяцев назад

E.g., the evidence that hurt and despair are distinguishable phenomena is: They are different words. Seriously.

@aspidoscelis 11 месяцев назад

I'm arriving at the conclusion that humans don't understand emotions. We're just confused in different ways, and more or less aware of the confusion.

@suddenlyautistic 11 месяцев назад

@aspidoscelistigris I feel that's a fair summary. I guess I'm interested in how this understanding and language can be of use to me. So I can be clear in my communication and understanding. I have very low expectations around this helping me to relate to other people. Apparently most of the population have very low emotional intelligence and prefer to live in their perceptions rather than objective reality. That freaks me out. Good luck on your journey

@artemisXsidecross 11 месяцев назад

At times these ratings and judgements remind me of an understanding that the I Ching provided or the 'Book of Changes' as it's known in English. It is believed to have been written by Fu Xi around 1000 BCE. We do like to have a pension for prophecy. 😉

@aspidoscelis 11 месяцев назад

@@suddenlyautistic I've been wondering why there isn't an empirical classification of emotions. The inadequacy of language for communicating internal states has surely been a barrier in the past, but emotions are also correlated to physiology and that's an area where we can now get very good data.