Hello brothers and sisters. I would just like to recommend that everyone read the book ‘Raising Warriors: Preparing Your Children For a Godly Life’. Reading that book was the best desicion I ever made.
My mom made everything magical. Even going to the market seemed like a great adventure. She taught us while we were out. She gave us clipped coupons and had us find the items in the market so we could learn to shop. She always hugged and kissed us. I love my mom and feel very fortunate to have her.
I was heavily abused as a child, both mentally and physically from most of my family. Now I’m growing up realizing that this is not only affecting me but the way I treat others. So I’m sitting here educating myself, watching video after video so I don’t grow like my family. There is nothing wrong with re-educating yourself. I hope the person reading this and trying to be the best they can, I hope you succeed.
Another toxic trait of parents are they scold their children in front of strangers or their friends and they have no idea how embarrassing that is for a child. 😭
My dad scolded me big time during my childhood and many yrs later I still haven't forgotten. As a result I am cold towards him, yes he tries to maintain a relation but I am just unable to feel a connection. Please do yourself a favor and let a child be a child and learn things at his or her own pace, show love and attention and great things will happen later on.
Exactly, my dad yells and gets mad at me for the dumbest things. Both my parents make me insecure and confused about myself, so I don't really know how I feel about them. I know I don't like my father at all though for plenty of reasons. He also only got with my mom and had kids in hope of one of us signing his papers 😒 only if he treated me better then yes I probably would in the future. 😬😔
Exactly that so true they even compare me with my friends in school like why they do that if they really love us they really need to show us the real love and don't compare us with others
Too late for me, sadly I learned what NOT to do with my kids from my parents.. so far I think I’m on the right track ! Neglect and lack of interest was horrible but it definitely helped me understand how important a mother’s love and attention is to a growing child
I never got attention, my mom would always be on her phone when I would say Mama, she would say Okay, I wish I wasn't lonely or ignored. At the park I saw a mother and a daughter playing with each other I was like awww I wish that would be me.
In my childhood once the dentist pull up my teeth and I was crying for pain and my father was holding me with his chest and he was also crying for my pain.. thanks to my Allah for the most precious gift He has gifted me.. my mom and dad.. ❤❤
@@williamjoshua6315 Teach them handcraft, and saving too the world 🌎 is turning into something else if you don't have something doing you ain't no one.
I think another thing is patience. I've seen a lot of family members give up when they don't know what to do and just give their children a tablet or phone. Spending time with them and taking time doing things will definitely help raise a hally and fulfilled family.
RIGHT! Most of the times when I make a mistake my parents don't care about the mistake i made but rather they are more worried about what other people will say. And then they put out that frustration of what other people will think on me
Yup that's my mom she cares more about her reputation than me the younger child and said I'm not normal like other kids and cares so much about what other people will think of her when they see me......
I developed social anxiety from my mom and dad yelling at me as a child, spanking me in front of guests, placing me in a corner. Ive worked really hard to break my social anxiety I’ve had to break through all the discomfort. I don’t yell at my daughter because of this.
Exactly, first the parents lower your self esteem by constantly yelling at you and criticizing you in front of others, and then they compare you with other kids for not being extroverted and competitive like them.
When i was a child my mother always used to scold me in front of many and until now she still doing it to my niece and nephew which is very wrong and toxic. I said to myself I will never do that to my son.
I think it's so important for parents to have support from grandparents, aunt, neighbors or friends etc. in raising kids. When you have to raise a child by your own or just with the husband, the tiredness builds up and after years you start losing patience. When you have a community around you it's different. You can always take 30 minutes for a nap or even have time to take a shower without your toddler knocking at the door constantly...
People think I'm crazy when I say my kids opinion matters. They are capable of saying what they like an don't care for. I often laugh at people in their face when they say it because they dont have a clue. This video definitely shows how I parent. Thanks to my mom and dad. I love seeing my kids make important decisions.
I remember when a scammer called my parents saying your Bank Account is to be closed if you don't give us your Bank account details. I told them it's just a scam and my parents told me: "You will not know about it. If my accounts get locked will you be able to handle it, no right??" And when I went out thinking that nothing bad will happen my parents will handle it and came back all the saved money was taken by the scammers. Moral: try to take opinions from your kid sometimes. They might know some thing or two.
My grandpa made a "deal" with me and made Tuesday McDonald's night. It gave me something to look forward to and my health appreciates the limit he set for me.
Another toxic parents is that they want you to control over your happiness and financial just to meet their desires for their own purposes but not yours 🥺🥺.
When i was a kid my father was working very far and coming home every saturday bringing us chocolates and fruits that always made us happy and excited. But it stopped when he left us with another woman and left us very sad and broken. Now i just have a baby and i wanna make sure to give him all the love and care i didnt feel before 😀
When my dad came home in the weekend I would have to retreat to my room. He lived abroad all week and was only home during weekends. It was bliss midweek with just my mom, but when he came home I knew the fun would end , that I would be scolded for simply being in the kitchen, that he wouldn't want us downstairs basically period.
#1- they scolded their children too often #2- they missed out on the most important moment in their lives #3- they didn’t play enough creative games with them #4- they didn’t take enough photos and videos #5- they didn’t take their child’s opinion into account #6- they didn’t enjoy communicating with their child. Communication with their children is the most important part of an upbringing #7- they didn’t educate them about money #8- they didn’t make their child happy enough. #9- they didn’t hug their children often enough #10- they weren’t consistent. Be consistent with them throughout their childhood
I dont remember any good moments from my childhood. There were no hugs, no love and no talking, the only conversation was comparing me to my cousin or to ppl that were better than me or yelling. I was 24/7 under some kind of punishment. Rest of the time I was alone. Now I'm 20 and I'm dealing with so many mental disorders, ilnesses and phobias that I cant even count. I started my theraphy 2 years ago and I dont think I'll be done with it for another 30years at least. This video was hard to watch for me. But I hope some ppl may take a lot from it and be better parents. Childhood is the most important part of our lives, it impacts our future a lot.
Also try meditation that targets the unpleasant memories in your subconscious mind and the one that helped me A LOT thus recommending it to you is called the the ho'oponopono method ..search it on youtube many people who have tried EVERYTHING and for MANY YEARS said this was about the only thing that actually helped. Enjoy :)
I am blessed to have wonderful parents and I always safe and secure with them. I'm in my 40's and I still ask for their advice. I haven't seen them in last 6 years as they live in another country, but there is hardly any day when we don't talk to each other. Definitely all the parents can not be perfect and I also had my share, but they gave me the best whatever they could. I wish them a long life and good health. Love you mom and dad. They taught me to become a good parent. My son is 21. We both argue, fight, hug and love each others a lot. My son listens to me and I listen to him. I advise him on many things but not try to force until I feel that is required, because sometimes we have to learn from the past experiences and no parents want their children to get hurt. I wish all parents get loved by their children and children get loved by their parents.🙂
Some of it may be true but not all of it just because you do or don't do some of the things on this video does not mean that you are a bad parent or Messing your kids up if you are a parent you should know by now that no two children respond and learn the same
Bonus * having kids before you’re physically/mentally ready. Honestly, my main issue growing up was communication. When I was younger they were to busy to hear about my day but, now that I’m older they beg me to know about my life. This video explains why grandparents are obsessed with their grandkids, they want a “2nd chance”.
I wish these kinds of videos were available when I was younger, I feel like the relationship between my mom and I is tarnished , she's kinda harsh . Even my kids notice
@Teela Tequila well im a parent of five kids. 4 girls and 1 boy. The girls are 21yr - 18yr - 6yr and 7months. My son is 4. I know that some family members overstep their boundaries.. so grandparents uncles whoever will get checked when it comes to mine. So i was just adding my 2cents to you. Harsh is a strong description so i went from there.
My parents always made me feel that I was incapable of taking any decision and made all decisions on my behalf. As an adult I now feel that if I had been more assertive and made my own decisions using my own thinking power my life would have been different and taken a better shape. But at that age I didn't have the courage or confidence to defy my parents' decisions and/or wishes
The first one is so true I remember when I was in the 5th grade and my mom worked really hard I wanted her to come home to a Clean apartment so I cleaned everything and me being young i cleaned a picture of her and my lil brother and the picture starting running with ink and I didn’t understand why the picture was doing that. She got home and I got a horrible whooping for messing up the picture on accident and all I was trying do was make her happy
I wish my parents see this and I want them to redo everything .. the things they say about bad parenting is all true.. I'm one such kid cos my childhood was very worse than anything.
I agree with this. My favorite 2 was, taking more pictures and albums and not allowing strangers or other people to scold your children. Even as a teacher, I ask students what would your parents say or think before going off the deep end.
A lot of ungrateful kids in this comment section A kind reminder pls! Whatever your parents does to you pls forgive them, it is not easy to be a parent, some of them are raised the way they are raising us, we can never repay them for being our parent. I so much love and respect them for bringing me in to this world. Pray for them. Whatever happen nobody loves you more than them!
We all have our own opinion. Forgiving is easy but creating the bond isn't as easy. Don't simply judge everyone here just because they tell what they've experienced before. That may be their way of coping.
My parents didn't give me their undivided attention but i guess i'm fine with it... Teaches me how to be independent and living without them I grow up not needing them They don't appreciate my talents and hardwork but i'm okay with that, because of their ignorance i learned how to live without love, i learned how to not get hurt when rejected, i learned how to get through the pain. I'm done crying, that was eight years ago, i've grown numb now so i don't care. But i will promise this to myself I'll make sure that i'll do the things they never make me feel in my childhood days to their future grand kids, i'll make sure they grow with love and happiness into their adulthood, i'll make sure they'll never turn out like me... A failure of a human being. I'll teach them things i learned and support them to the fullest, because what a child need is only their parents' love and affection.
I guess I don't have any good childhood memories, all I remember is dad scolding, dad arguing, dad not listening to me, dad being a dictator, dad not loving enough. Thank you dad for nothing
@John Smithy Forgive and take control of this area of your life. Call him tell him how you feel calmly... before someone dies. He will not be the person that you may want .He may listen or He may not. But do call and forgive. This way you take control. This is for you...to have peace. What ever he did or did not do or what he said.or whatever it was. Just forgive.. replace pain with peace and strength and let it go ! Pastor Joyce Mayer forgave her father for the unthinkable. You can do it! Be the better person...before someone dies..
Great to see you are better than 99% of commenters here, who just blame their parents, and demand everything, without trying to understand their parents are humans.
As a young mother who had hard time understanding her Mom... all I can say is that you will never understand what is like to be a parent until U become one . I can’t imagine what some parents go through because they don’t know any better . Parents are not perfect but they give up so much for their children . They hide their pain from us so we can smile. Plz forgive your parents if u can . And let’s be better parents for our children inshaa Allah. ♥️ “you are not who the world says u are , you are who u choose to be “ -unknown
@@stellabella0984 At your age....she needs to have that this information. You may think your grown up but you are not. If you want to throw out how grown you are then don't use words. Use actions. Get a job and your own way to work. Save up money to get your OWN place and pay all your own bills. Then change ALL the passwords and codes.
I m 18 I don't even have a mobile. Though it's not about gadgets. I am beaten up every day.. and have to work from 4:00 am to 12:00 pm. I feel rediculous. Ok that's life, probably I have to be happy
How about limit screen time/electronics and actually spend quality time! Don’t yell stay calm and before you know it your child will be an adult! Love, nurture, guide, teach, and be a positive roll model!💗
Thanks those words are encouraging for me. I have three kids, am a single mom and in school. Sometimes just putting those things in front of them seems easy but I guess not bc they are not gaining that educational time with me.
Marek. Kostanty uh I was born in the 2000’s so I had electronics lol. And I’m talking about kids. 0-12. Maybe 10 and up you can have iPads to play on. But little kids don’t need electronics. They have toys and TV. Then when they have electronics have limits on them. My little cousins had iPads from they were 1 years old, and my aunt complains about how they don’t play with their toys and hangs out with family... maybe you shouldn’t give little kids electronics in the first place!
These are things I can relate to, even though I am only a child. As a young kid, I always heard, 'What do you know?' 'I'm your mother' 'I know what's best for you' and now a few years later, it's funny how my mom doesn't understand why I'm insecure, pessimistic and have EXTREMELY low self-esteem and confidence issues. And she wonders why I'm always making mistakes, and never wanting to talk to her. These make sense, thank u Bright side
I have 2 son's a 4 yr old and a 10 month old, I work a lot so when I come home I'm really tired from being out in the heat but thanks up this video I think I'm going to try harder and spend time with my oldest son
I always have wanted hugs, but my parents don't take it seriously... It makes me so depressed, I always hug my mom. But, she refuses to hug me. But, most of my friends, brothers and cousins hug me. But, my parents are not....😫😩😭
My parents never scolded me as they scolded my elder brother a lot and felt they did wrong to him. So I was raised with explaining the things not scolding
I think my folks did a great job, they were never around and I raised myself. Lived out in the sticks on about 100 acres with 60 or so of that heavily wooded. My old man drove truck and was never home and my mom worked full time. I can't remember a time in my childhood when I didn't wake myself up, get myself ready, cook my meals, etc. They got me a German Shepherd though, later in life my old man said the dog was to keep me safe from coyotes and bobcats since I never stayed out of the woods like I was told. Good times, really good times. I miss my dog rooster though, he died when I was 15 we did everything together.
I have a lot of happy memories with my mother. Even though i came from a broken family. I have my lolo and lola in my life they love me more than anything else.
My favorite memory of my mom is her staying up with me all night while I laid in her lap when I had a toothache. It was a weekend so the dentist was closed. she was as patient as a monk while I was screaming hellfire lol
I know what my parents are.They scold me because they love me,Like they are the erasers and I'm the pencil.They erase all my mistakes...But today.I.cant breathe well since March 2020.I tried to tell them but they laughed and said "Whats wrong with you? Theres nothing wrong.Drink some water and its gone.your scaring yourself"..I drank some water but..nothing really happened.I told them but they said "Everythings fine! Your just scaring yourself! Enough" I cried every night.I had deppression.I felt.alone...Am I the wrong person in the world?..What can I do? Im just a kid..😢😢😢
Don't forget strangers are not always automatically bad, just remember when the kid grows up and get to work for someone else who is a perfect stranger the experience of social encounters count naturally. 🍷
But in fact you are right. Both parents and children have the same enemy. That enemy is selfishness. This is applicable to parents who didn't have enough time (or willingness) to think about their children. And even more applicable to a children who grew up, but are still blaming their parents for everything.
I'm realizing now as an adult with my own child, that my parents did all these things to us, and still do. It makes more sense as to why I am the way I am... it's actually quite scary. I want so much more for my baby, and I'm going to try my best every day
#4, #5, #8, #9, #11 Also, its important to have bigger age gap between two child, so, elder child doesn't feel neglected Edit : my parents are best, i hates if someone other than my parents acts as if I'm their daughter
Can’t help it with twins though. I do my best, but my mom plays favorites. I try not to have her around too long since one of my boys always ends up sad when she’s around. I was her only child. I never knew she’d be like this.
I have the world's best dad , he have so many pictures of me , he never scold me very often , I feel so safe with him that I can't imagine my world without him he is the best, I can't describe what he has done for me , love you papa
#1 scold children too often 0:23 #2 missed out on important moments in child's life 1:10 #3 didn't play enough creative games 1:56 #4 didn't take enough photos or videos of childhood 2:40 #5 they didn't take their child's opinion into account 3:22 #6 they didn't enjoy communicating with their child 4:18 #7 they didn't educate them about money 5:00 #8 they didn't make their child happy enough 5:50 #9 they didn't hug their children often enough 6:36 #10 they weren't consistent 7:20 #11 they often followed someone else's advice 8:12 In conclusion: no matter what you do as a parent, you are wrong
I've been a parent for 3 years and according to this video, I'm doing a pretty good job I think haha. One thing I liked best on this video was doing activities together. I have 3 paintings my daughter has painted. One for each year. They're so messy but each has a fun memory. Like one of them has a big smear on it cuz the painting fell on her face when she tried bringing me her masterpiece 😅😂
I've been a parent for 13 years and let me tell you a little something just because you do or don't do the things on this video the way it states does not mean that you are a bad parent or "ruining" your kid/s no two children learn and respond the same. For example we get after and scold our eldest child constantly it seems and we hardly ever get after our second child however we have a great relationship and bond with the both of them and they were both wonderful kids! Ps. That was 2 kids out of 6kids.
I think the video is trying to get parents to do basic activities with the kids to prepare them for adult when they can come to you more often for advice or just have something routine for guidance. Kids are different and learn and experience things differently mostly by what they seen or heard from other people outside of family.
My best and happiest memeories were, and still are when my parents + my grand parents express their opinion about somtheing, but still leave me to be my own self and the space for the choise of commentating, haggling, opinoinal exchanging and sometimes even friendly arguing. Then we all listen about the choises of each other and choose the best option for ... Thats how everyone of us learn something new from us, every single time.
My parents make a lot of those mistakes And when my child turns 18 I will say to them “I never scolded at my child too often, I took my child’s opinion into account, I took responsibility in talking to my child when something was inappropriate instead of blaming the other side and still I managed to raise her well.”
First, before having children, realize raising children is no picnic. It is a total sacrifice you make. If you don’t make that sacrifice, you won’t be a successful parent.
Yeah, I felt that way when I had a small accident and was brought to the hospital. My mum asked me "And what should I do with that information, I'm at work". I could have really needed her. Luckily my aunt had time to come, I was quite thankful to her ... =)
Thanks for this very correct video I fully agree with all statements and advice, but when my son was a child, I didn’t know about some of them unfortunately. I think that permanent communication between parents and kids is the most important thing in upbringing, so all parents have to find enough time for it. And I want to add my own advice: don’t not require your child to meet all your expectations and don’t compare her or him with other children. Each child has own characteristics!
@@NKOSi1415 well yeah nothing's wrong but, after she took pictures she proceed to continue chatting with her friends in whatsapp group:/ Like, frankly and biologically speaking, yourre gonna die soon so why not enjoy your old days with your kids(?)
