TIMESTAMPS Bad Lesson #1: Snitching is wrong. 1:02 Bad Lesson #2: Children shouldn’t express their negative emotions. 2:27 Bad Lesson #3: You should try to make people like you. 4:38 Bad Lesson #4: Get good grades or you’ll never get a good job. 6:14 Bad Lesson #5: “Always the best for my baby!” 8:03 Bad Lesson #6: Making a mistake means losing something. 10:13 Bad Lesson #7: Children should never be idle. 12:44 Bad Lesson #8: Children must always share their toys. 14:09
same but i was a people pleaser from kindergarden to secound grade also in kindergarden i let myself get bullied by a group of girls that i called my "friends" back then
This video makes me proud of myself. I don't have kids, I'm only 17, but I teach kids around me these lessons the right way. It makes me feel amazing that I've been doing right these past 5 years.
This is how my parents treated me most of my life: - Compared me to professionals and people who are better than me - Never let me get away with a lot of things - Treated me different from my younger siblings - Made me help my siblings more just because I was taller than them - Never allowed privacy - Made me feel like I was never the way they wanted me to be
As a single father of three boys , I was totally in shock after watching this video ! I also showed this to my son's school psychologist and she was also in a state of shock !
Atleast u have accpetance. parents don't even accept instead blame me for whatever goes wrong in d house even if the fault is theirs. Every child deserves some parent lyk u.
This video is such a blessing. All of these bad lessons was thought to my ex husband, which resulted in him turning into a Narcissistic Abuser and criminal. I sent this video to pre- schools and all secondary schools in Trinidad and Tobago. Thank you If they didn't know- Now they know !!!
Its bc parents have more power so If we talk back to defend our self they get angry so end up hitting us and I have taught myself to hold my tears so just go to my room to cry myself out
This is the most important lesson everybody needs to learn. When I was growing up, I got scolded and punished too much. It didn’t improve my situation neither did the spankings. Yelling and hitting a child during aggression could be severe very horrible. I know this for a fact because I’ve been through this. When I have kids, things are going to be different
How about you try my way.. I know it's hard to speak the truth to our parents But maybe by writing it in somewhere like your diary or you can talk to someone that you trust The last thing, I know it seems weak, but crying might help you out
I am parent of a 3 year old boy and I am grateful for watching this video at an early stage THANK YOU much needed! I am also on my spiritual awaking ❤️ If you are reading this Know that You are loved and you deserve everything your soul desires and know that you will get it.. let those negative thoughts go ❤️ they are not you . They only want to control you with fear, DONT let them!
I'm so glad a parent watched this because from my life and this comment section it seems like most parents teach these bad lessons so much. I'm only 14 but I've always known I am gonna be a mother, and I want to have all the knowledge I can about what's the best way to parent before I grow up and have a child. You're definitely on the right track and I'm confident that your child will turn out amazing! :)
This video gave me anxiety. I remember a few of those bad lessons my parents used, especially when my dad would tell me and my brother that we weren't allowed to be mad at them cause we were the kids. And now I'm a parent. I started crying earlier because I snapped at my daughter for something that wasn't even that bad. Of course I hugged her tight and apologized for it. But it is definitely tough trying to raise them right, I don't really know how to do everything the right way.
I commend you for apologizing to your daughter for being angry with her. I wish my parents had done that for me when growing up. It sounds like you're a loving, responsible parent who is just trying to do the right thing by your children. And that is truly awesome! Not a lot of parents these days own up to and admit that they make mistakes. We are all human, we are far from perfect and we will all make mistakes at one point or another. Letting your kids know that we're all human is the first, huge step in helping them to become confident and responsible adults one day. I truly wish more parents were like that! Just know that you're doing the best possible job you can. Parenting is far from easy. There's no manual or easy button, although I know all parents wish there was, lol! All you can do is your best, and when you do your best, that IS good enough! 🤗😊
I’m in tears, and guilty of some bad decisions I’ve made. However, I would never send my child to bed without eating. Since my daughters passing, my only child, I tend to want to please my grandchildren and I’m guilty of taking away their phone or can’t play outside. It breaks my heart to see the wrong I’ve done. I’m going to work on me so I can be better. Thank you for sharing and the lesson. 😞
Yea one of my parents (not naming which one) said: STOP CRYING! In a loud, angry voice. And that made me even more sad because I thought: “Is crying bad?”
Single dad with a 6-year-old. Although I think I'm doing a great job, I know there's so much to learn. This video encouraged me to reassess and focus on those things that's just slip by you.
That's one good thing I have is confidence in the schools here CT for my children I've had to move here by force so I've made a way but is it too much in guessing? Hopefully not.
Im crying right now because my mom always used to do this mistakes when i was a kid. Or ax a punishment she would slap me and forbidd me to go out with friends for a week. I always had a feeling they were wrong. And im glad now im grown up and know what is right and what is wrong
if its a toddler and wants to borrow your $250 Nintendo Switch (Lets say) then breaks it, the parents will do nothing. you will just save again back to $250 Switch
@@-_prankster104kogama_-3 I remembered my mom told me to get out of her house cause I cried... She literally kicked me out of the house and left me traumatised 😔
@@gamepixel5904 Wow you can only express emotion with the correct grammar. Also you're one to talk, not using punctuation at the end of their sentences, one of the first things they teach you to do when writing at school!
When I was little, i was always told to hide my negative emotions until i was alone. Therefore in results in me having trust issues when it comes to talking about my personal feelings.
I’m a divorced, mother of two. I only see them 1/2 the time so I try to do my best to get them what they like. Especially if it is something they are collecting like books etc.
That's something I don't think my sister understands. Her first son acts just like her when she was his age. And she was a total brat! How does she fix it? By yelling...
Bax xtab If you're perfect in parenting, they'll be perfect in life. Sure, they'll have their own personality but they'll be the best they can be. Don't underestimate the power of parenting.
I identify a lot with #2. When I was little, I was constantly yelled at by adults at home and school whenever I began tearing up, them saying I was acting like a baby or spoiled brat, or that I had only myself to blame for my problems. This caused me to forcefully plug up my tear ducts, and also led me in later years to make fun of other kids in school who were crying, which obviously didn't turn out for the best. Only recently did I start to accept that sadness and crying is a natural human emotion, not just for babies.
Around last year, my family from Ireland came to stay at ours for 2 days & brought his 3 kids with him. Whilst they were here the woman staying at ours literally told my 11 year cousin to move OFF the sofa so she can have that seat (she's not disabled or old). & I just looked at her & just said that he had just as much of a right to sit there as she does & that if she wanted a chair to sit on she'll have to get another chair by the table. I'm sick of people treating kids like they can just order them around for their own benefit.
Bax xtab No they shouldn't, not unless they're very old, disabled (like back problem or struggle to stand up for long) & when a woman is heavily pregnant. Otherwise why should you move if you're already sat at that seat? Ordering kids like that turns them into pushovers & not knowing when to say no, trust me, I'm that kid 😕
emolgachu 37 It teaches the kid respect. So a 40 year old should sit on the floor while a 10 year old sits on the couch? That's how you raise entitled brats.
Bax xtab I agree about teaching kids to respect, but what about respect in return? Respect has got to be earned. It's not just a one way street, despite how old you are.
As I was listening I looked back on my childhood and you literally hit every nail on the head I am so grateful I was able to teach my children different than what I learned
My Mom: “Because I said so!” “I know everything!” “Nothing is not an answer!” Me: “You need to stop saying that stuff, it’s making my self esteem and self confidence go down.”
@JAZMIN MORENO-ALEMAN yeah my dad hits me too when i cry.. he thinks im faking it to "manipulate him into forgiving me" but hes just screaming and hitting so much how can i not cry what-
Great video!, I suggest to add that the original approaches are the ones that have been passed on throughout the years. Thankfully, we’re at a time where they may no longer be relevant thanks to our study and understanding of behavioral psychology. Sharing the information is great, but incomplete without an analysis of where the prior way stems from, in doing so people being informed won’t grow grudges because they can’t comprehend “why” their parents disciplined them this way.
I just want to have a kid to show my parents that u can raise a kid with out constantly yelling at them and degrading them ! This totally ruins the relation !
I cannot & never could stand someone telling me something like this! Whether it was my Mom..Dad..Fiance' or Husband. I always felt invalidated with my feelings. Now I have grown up so to speak & I speak my mind..transparency..honesty..with my feelings & words. I have so much to give & so little time..it is so short that I do not waste it on B.S. anymore We are not guaranteed tomorrow.... ...so we should make the best of every day..as it comes & be grateful
When I was a kid, my parents were unskilled at parenting in so many factors. The pain they unknowingly left me is still there in me and it has been here for so long that I wanted to take revenge, not hurting my family, but to prevent the same situation from happening to my future child. This video helps a lot though.
My parents always tell me that they had a bad childhood and that I shoud be happy that I have what I have... But the point is that the things I have, they are not completly mine... Because I cant use those things when i do something wrong... Also when I want to tell my parents what bothers me when they yell at me and punis me, they just dont care!!! They say Im the bad and wrong person In my family!!!
@@jadeisla5421 Hey! Im also sorry for your situation with parents. you didnt have your family days and I think that everybody should have those days.. I bet it was realy hard to meet your parents for the first time. Im 14 now, and things are still not better. in what situation are you now? How are your parents? were you happy when you met them? (Im sorry for my bad english)
@@techd7387 oh cool, I'm 13, my mom, I had lived with before...she just was never fully there bc all of the dugs she did, and I haven't met my dad since I was little, because he's in jail now, I'm in a foster home now, I'm doin ok, kinda sad tbh, and I have contact with my mom, and also thx for asking
This gives me a lot of lessons. This made me say sorry to my 4 year old toddler tonight and hugged her again and again tightly while sleeping. There are some things I'm doing it wrongly. This is an eye opener for me. wew! thanks bright side.
Joaquin Sanchez you are an awesome person! All people have equal value regardless of if it's a homeless person or the president, we are all the same. You are worthy and deserve to feel good about yourself.
I'm a perfectionist because I used to be abused for a lot of petty stuff. I'd developed a lot of disorders like PTSD, but I always try to keep myself positive and happy. I want to help everyone out too.
That is what happened to me. I am 17, and my parents always put pressure on me. Especially in school. I want to be a musician, and I also get super nervous for auditions and performances because I want things to be perfect. You can thank my strict, overprotective parents for that. #firstgenerationmusician
I think one thing parents shouldn’t do is force their children to hug or kiss people they don’t want to. They should be respectful, polite to them, but to teach consent at an early age is what I think should be done in this little way.
Excellent thought. You are so right. There may be good reason they don't want physical contact. Never be afraid to ask your child, "Does it make you uncomfortable to hug Aunt Greta?" Give them time. They will open up. Also, children should be made known that it is their body and no one is allowed to touch them unless they are comfortable with the situation.
Bax xtab Kids should be expected to be respectful to family members not hug. It sounds extreme but many kids who are sexually abused don’t see it as abnormal because they think their family members are allowed to have physical contact with their bodies behind their control
Frisk Determination you will go far in life. Your curiosity about this subject shows that you are a problem solver wishing to strengthen your own skills or to help others with theirs.
My mom taught me pretty much all these bad lessons. and because of that i had such a miserable childhood. this video makes absolute sense. I will share it with my friends who are parents & parents to be. Thank you so much.
I'm much obliged, this video has helped me become more aware of my mistakes in parenting to my daughter. Very informative and helpful, much appreciated.
Thanks for the video. After four children,I realized that kids are miniature adults with minds and feelings of their own. I really appreciate this video and find all of these tips so very helpful in my desire to be a more effective parent.
#3 and #8 is something I experienced a lot as a kid. Being the first kid in the family, not only my parents, but also the whole family expected so much of me and wants me to fulfill those expectations, even my real name speaks expectations, thus turning me into a people pleaser at a very young age. When I'm getting closer to adulthood, I can slowly feel the effect of what these kinda upbringing can do. I felt so unfulfilled in my life because I spent those early years pleasing others and not having my basic needs fulfilled, I also tend to avoid people because I don't want 'more mouths to feed' and in the process, I lack empathy for others, not only because I distanced myself, but also because since all I've been doing was fulfilling other people's needs, I couldn't grasp the basic understanding on why do they need my help in the first place? Subconsciously I feel that if I can do it, then so should they without my help, making it hard for me to form emotional connection and respect for others. Honestly, deep down I believe that I'm already a lost cause. I'm already reaching adulthood and my life is full of never ending depression and anger caused by the people all around me. I don't know if it'll be possible for me to ever start trusting others thanks to my upbringing, but while I at least still have the empathy to not let what happened to me, happens to you or any other generation, please take it seriously when I said... "DON'T BURDEN YOUR KIDS WITH YOUR EXPECTATIONS, THEY FEEL BURDENED ENOUGH WITH THEIR OWN" having a kid is an important decision, I suggest to not have a kid if you're not ready to accept what will become to them if something goes wrong. Remember, a children is your product of love, do you really want your product of love to be a sack full of depressed feeling and contempt towards the world like what I've become because of the many unfulfilled expectations? Know the limit and keep in mind that your children is not an object to fulfill your expectations, see them fulfill theirs, and be proud of them for doing so is all I wanna say.
My younger sister will actually scream for no reason or tell me to pinch or hurt her so I'll get blamed on 🤠 So even if I taught her this, she'll never be able to get it inside her non-existent brain 😃
I wish I was treated like this! I’m an education major so I teach these lessons to other kids. All these information actually makes perfect sense to me!
When I was 2 I was at nursery and I had this toy hammer I absolutely adored. One of the nursery teachers forced me to let my let’s say “frenemy” (I know that sounds weird for 2 year olds but nvm) play with it. I really didn’t want to but had no choice. I never got that hammer back...
When I was Grade 4 at Break time I said to my best friend I am going to the washroom Don't eat my tiffin and Don't let anyone eat it I will give you too but after I come back, Then My friend said Imma come with you I said Ok? But what about my tiffin My friend nah it should be fine Then my friend ( She is just a half friend ) Ate my tiffin when we were in the washrooms
For the most part I agree that sending a child to bed hungry is not a suitable punishment, but I do believe in one exception, being when the child is being a picky eater. In this case it is less of a punishment and more of a natural consequence. In this case, it is entirely on the child whether or not they go to bed hungry. If they truly don't want to eat what is in front of them, they don't have to eat it, but they'll have deal with being hungry. At any point they can choose to eat what they've been given, but they won't be offered anything else until the next scheduled meal time. I'm not a parent, but I have been a nanny and the tactic works. If a 3 year old refuses to finish her lunch but then asks for a snack an hour later, I presented her with what remained of her lunch, which I would have saved in the fridge. I think a major bad lesson is teaching kids that if they won't eat their broccoli they will be rewarded with mac'n'cheese.
I express my emotions through drawing and I get suspended for it, I was only drawing a human crying to show how I feel!!! So is not ok to show emotions in any way I get in more trouble then someone who gets in a fistfight!!
As you live in the United States of America, there are private schools in different cities and states. Wen kids are mean tell the teacher. When teachers do not trust, tell me and who there names are. And by the way you should check out the mean emoji
I was taught growing up to be nice to everyone even if they were mean to me and I was always taught to share even if it was unfair. As an adult I struggle with self-worth I've had bosses completely take advantage of my kindness, I've even had bosses be extremely rude to me to my face in front of other people and I just took it. Not to mention I've had old friends who are no longer friends with take extreme advantage of my kindness. I'm struggling as an adult to say no and put my foot down and to know I am worth something and I don't have to please everybody.
There is a book called "Boundaries" by Henry Cloud and [something else] Townsend. It provides great insight into how to establish healthy boundaries in your life and what it looks and feels like when you don't have those healthy boundaries in place. It's a long book, but worth it!! And there is an audio book, so give it a try.
Exactly! Lessons they need. If something is yours, you choose when you share it, and when you stop. If it’s someone else’s they get to choose. Lastly if it’s shared property and you don’t want to share anymore you walk away.
Same here. My neighbour is seven, has devorsed parents, a bunk bed, two bedrooms, two phones, a tablet and a computer. I tend to avoid her, not only beacause of that, I'm just kind of scared of children.. XD
I dont see it as bad. They are the generation that will grow up with vast amounts of high tech which will be used in education and in the workplace. Thats actually good that they learn that at an early age.
One time my sister came to my parents saying that she was bored, and they said she was spoiled. Even I was offended. They give her all of these electronics, and then they claim she’s spoiled. Um, who’s doing the spoiling?
When I was younger, I wasn't spoiled, while I was growing up in a family wealthier than others, we didn't get what we wanted all the time, but when I wanted to get something really expensive, I usually wait until my birthday or Christmas, and usually make that my only gift.
@@NotnormLOL true my parents always have work and when they come home I don't tell them to spend time with me cuz I want them to spend the time for themselves so thats why I downloaded discord it's pretty helpful for me
My mom has taught me everything bad it shows specialy the one when I am crying she ignores and now I always say to myself I am the mistake for everything and I'm over thinking...THANK GOD I DON'T LISTEN TO HER AND NOW I AM INDEPENDENT AND STRONG😡
Also you should include excuses for younger siblings like "He's only 4!" or "You're 12, be responsible!" These excuses are extremely toxic and all they teach to kids is that younger siblings get away with everything.
For real. Sometimes parents expect the big siblings to be perfect when they’re just human themselves. There have been moments when my older sister was accused too much for how we acted (she’s the oldest) and being a middle child I would sometimes get too much blame about the example I was setting for my little sister. Though my parents have been fair to me on the whole.
Parents: u should give it to her she is more younger Me: i cant have anything i always need to share when will it be my turn when will i have something that i dont need to share
#2 I got to tell my mom to stop doing this to the kids. I've argued with her about my sons tantrums bothering her and her being selfish about how it makes HER FEEL
When I was a little kid ( 1-7 years ) I had problems with my parents always giving me discipline. But, when I got older, we eventually got along. Right now, I’m 14 and I’m getting pretty happy with my life.
See, this is why I won't have kids of my own yet. I know I'm not emotionally & mentally able to cope with the responsibility of looking after a child, & not only that I'm still kind of a kid myself right now. Too many women get pregnant with the excitement of naming the baby, preparing their bedroom, feed, clothing, etc. But when it actually comes to raising them then that's when most parents lack the patients. If you know you're not prepared to raise a kid to end up NOT a crippling mess, then don't get pregnant. (Btw until I watched this video I didn't want kids. Now I'm questioning myself😂)
emolgachu 1997 You're absolutely right. There is nothing wrong with waiting. My husband and I waited until we were financially stable to get pregnant. Before that, I was in therapy for years working on myself. I refused to become a parent until I worked through my issues and felt mentally prepared. We live in a beautiful house that we own now and are pregnant with our first child. It feels good to say that we planned this among the sea of adults with oopsie babies. We're very excited, and look forward to raising our first child together in a stable environment. Please, wait. It'll be so worth it in the long run.
That is a really mature way of looking at whether one wants to have kids or not, I commend you on your decision! I'll be 40 next July. Hubby and I chose not to have kids because our childhoods were really effed up and we know that we're mentally not capable of handling parenthood. And because of my illnesses, I'm not physically capable of handling parenthood as well. It definitely wouldn't be fair to my child if I'm barely able to keep up with them. I wish more people thought like you do, and decided to really wait and see if they're really ready to handle all that responsibility. Bringing another human being into this world is a monumental task. Things aren't the same today as they were when we were kids. I commend people who are able to participate in their children's lives and be great parents, enabling their children to be well - rounded, responsible adults ome day. However, I'm quite ashamed at the parenting tactics of the people my age (I'm generation X). They rarely discipline their kids, and when they do, sometimes it's quite abusive and destructive, turning their kids into delinquents who get into trouble and mooch off the system because they feel entitled and don't want to hold down a job and responsibilities. I can attest that to what I see the kids in my own neighborhood doing. The parents are never watching them. The kids steal, destroy property, they're loud and obnoxious and have no consideration for others. Definitely a lack of parenting issue. Makes me sad and fearful that these types of kids are going to be caring for us one day! Yikes!
@emolgachu only by looking at your comment :), I am 100% sure you will be a great parent ! Also Children have this ability to actually change and discipline us in a way to be a better self ( never perfect of course )
As a teen who's currently in a relationship right now, I'd would thank you for the info that you provided for my future family. I'll be addressing these to my parents.
I just recently found out I'm pregnant with my 1st child. I'm scared because I want to do what's best. My family crazy so I dont want my child to have the bad behaviors like my family. Thank you for this video.
