You are so great! I think what you are feeling is natural, especially because you had so little control over your own childhood and there were things that happened that weren't so good. The protective feeling you have for her is very understandable. It is about control for sure. And it's about life. Because life is all about being deeply attached only to have to let go. It's about losing innocence, eventually losing the people we love most deeply. But because you are admitting to your possessiveness, and you're so self reflective, I think you will be able to come to terms with your fears. I think having a second baby will help a lot. And therapy is a really good idea. Remember, you're never going to be perfect. But if you are open to understanding how your feelings need to be explored and tempered--that's so much the better for Laguna, cause you can be open with her too and teach her the lesson of self reflection, love and letting go. I don't have kids but (forgive me for the comparison to humans) but I had two cats for 19 years and they both died about the same time due to age and illness. Now I tear-up every time I see a kitten because all I can feel, now that my cats have left, is their precious innocence and the fragility of that pure, angelic life force of the newly born. You and your wife have already given Laguna a wonderful start with all your love and providing safety and opportunities to learn and grow. So good on you for thinking about how you feel and seeing yourself objectively. I'm certain you will learn how to deal with these feelings, because you've taken the first step by getting them out in the open.
You are not the only person like this! The highest % of abuse is carried out by the closest people to our kids lives. Family & friends and It’s your job to keep her safe, you’re doing great! When I have those thoughts I make a note in my mind, stay vigilant, but keep the thought to myself because I also feel people will think I’m crazy. Everyone lives in their one little reality and most won’t understand unless they’ve experienced something like that as a kid.
Fellow anxious parent here. First of all, calling a baby is a flirt is weird. Between that and what happened to you and your brother - unfortunately you have too many reasons to be protective of her. It makes sense why you’re protective. You don’t want to let her down in the way people let you down. Anything you’re doing that’s not “normal” is a result of your childhood not being normal. No sleepovers makes sense because you had a sleepover that you’ll never be able to make sense of. You’re not crazy. Life is crazy and you’re just not naive. You don’t need to apologize to other people. All that being said - therapy would probably be good.
Hi Ricky! I have a lot of trauma as well and I am also over protective over my son. I think it’s our natural instinct to protect them so much because we felt like we weren’t protected. I also wouldn’t let people see him like the first few months in public I felt like someone would see him and cast harm in him. Idk it’s really weird. But I don’t think you’re alone at all in that feeling I actually don’t let my dads side of the family see my son at all because if they don’t have a relationship with me I don’t believe they should have access to my son. ALSO people in public think it’s okay to touch babies without asking the parents permission and that’s so boundary crossing. It’s okay to be this way.
Your a gift meaning rare. A handful of men out there are like you. The rest say that's my wife's for.and she's lucky to have you.🎉🎉😮I WISH my dad was that way. Your special just like her. Hi mommy. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
I’m not a guy, but I literally just had a convo about the feelings you mention in this video to my sister yesterday cause these be my thoughts about having a kid and it be why I don’t even want to have a kid cause it starts freaking me the hell out. Not to mention i feel like most dudes don’t be this introspective about fatherhood/parenthood. It causes me anxiety and I don’t even have kids yet haha.
Lol I would lose it if someone kissed my baby or saying “she’s a flirt”. My aunt kissed my little one and so now I’m on edge lol, not going to lie. I know she meant well, but family shouldn’t be kissing your little one. I can relate though Ricky because I’ve gone through a lot of trauma too. For example, I won’t let my little one go to a sleepover because of my childhood trauma (and I will let her know this when she’s older).
I’m so so possessive over my daughter I hate when strangers ask to hold her sometimes even my husband … obv I don’t tell him or show it because hellooo lol that’s his kid but I’m like ….. this is MY BABY … you could have PPD men get it too ! It can be very difficult but I think it natural biological and it’s a normal instinct
It’s not you being fake you’re just really skeptical about what laguna picks up from people who’s around her …! Should you chill absolutely but should you be worried about what she learns you should but you need to learn to let trust her and let her explore and let her have her interactions with other people her safety is good but you can’t expect the worst constantly
