14 ways a Narcissist may use to try to hoover you back in | The Narcissists' Code Ep 644 

I don't trust anyone enough to be in a new relationship

1. The random “I’m in your city” text 2. Sending memes or video clips provoking small talk 3. Reaching out on Holidays 4. Reacting to your social media posts after weeks of not communicating 5. Random midnight calls after weeks of not communicating 6. DRUNK CALLS

I’m six months free from ex narc but still watch your videos every day to be informed Love your videos Lee , thanks for keeping us aware and informed

damn hoovering tatics is pathethic AF because narcisist can't handle a "NO" . thank you to spread awareness of this Lee

My Daughter was with a covert Narcissist. After She left Him He started following ALL Her (Prerty) Female Friends on Facebook and Instagram!!! I kept Her Strong & Focused. She stayed Strong and NEVER went back

People also do these things after they’ve been devalued and discarded. The trauma bond can look like narcissism sometimes.

Sending gifts from Amazon to your house, Cash Apping $3 “talk to me”, “Unblock me please”, trying to order a cheesecake from your business after blocking, texting from random numbers. After this video I’m convinced. ✅ thank-you.

I never shared my address nor did my narc know where my family lives. I had a gut feeling not to share that information. Thank God I listened.

Make sure to tell the person who might pop up at the job asking for the person, "I'm not at liberty to tell you that info." You'll save lives!

Almost exactly a year later narc ex moved on very quickly after out split (together 12 yeats) and has recently asked to move back in as " he realized he made a mistake." Thank you Lee for putting me up on game! He only apologies for "everything".

Abusing and stalking you with the purpose of getting you to give in.

I know it's a good thing to not be hoovered. I got discarded 6 months ago and have seen no signs of hoovering. but it's a real blow to the self esteem, especially since ive lost 80 lbs and im glowing up alone. Makes me feel like I'm nothing sometimes.

😂 when they see light they go toward it and zap! Thanks for giving me a laugh in a not so funny situation!

I got hoovered back in because he actually divorced his wife! Imagine my surprise but I told him he was the king narcissist and he FINALLY stopped hoovering me! ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

I have to say that my narc husband has never done any of these methods over the course of our relationship. Instead he displays a sense of urgency to a request and promises something in return, that he never does. He can't even "Hoover" correctly 🤣

my ex left me for another girl and got her a ring and stopped talking to me. I left him alone completely and a month and a half later he blew up my phone apologizing to me and saying he loved me. He tried to sleep with me but I wouldn't. Next day he made up w her and told me to leave him alone basically. I blew up his phone calling him names and he filed a restraining order against me. They're still not back together. 🤣🤣

Wow!! thank you for this. My ex has done 13 out of the 14... not # 8 only because I'm not on dating sites...but hearing all of these makes me feel less crazy. Folks that have never been through this, just don't understand how hard it is. I'm 5 weeks of no contact, longest I have ever gone and I'm getting stronger every day😊 Thank you so much Take care and keep thriving!!!

he said "the bat man is busy right now,so he needs you" had me on the floor...oh maannnn..

15. The new supply calls you for sympathy. Hang up. Don't take their calls. 16. They take up your hobbies and passions. 17. All of the 14 Lee Mentioned.

My ex eight now is trying to hoover by pretending to care about our kid. He doesnt care about our kid and weve been divorced ten years.

My soon to be ex-wife just tried last weekend... She took me out to a nice dinner where the whole time she either didn't talk to me or made fun of me for what I ordered... It was just weird. The next morning she sent me a text saying "I had a really good time last night". All I can do is laugh anymore. Thank you for your videos!

My narc has very little knowledge about technology and everything is in my name, cars, house, accounts etc. I’m about to pull the rug from under him.

A narcissist hired a private investigator to follow me. They take pictures and follow you everywhere. It’s wrong that they use their license to help stalk other people legally. Just want everyone to know this could happen to them so they can take extra precautions

You hit almost all of the traits of my ex. He also tried to accuse me of cheating on him after we were CLEARLY broken up. Went to all my friends & family trying to destroy my reputation ,but in the same breath claiming he loves me & he doesn't care what I done. He just want me back 🤦🏾‍♀️.

A man walked into his ex girlfriend work place and shot her in front of customers. Be careful y'all. A narcs injury can become deadly 😑

I am staying in a hotel after I left the house I was at with my ex covert narc over 3 weeks ago , he is purposely keeping some things of mine and told me that he will give them to me after I get my new apartment. I have to move now and Since he is still emotionally/sexually abusive even threatening after the breakup I just plan on just abandoning those items even though I cared about them, Blocking him entirely and never telling him where I went or posting my address or indicators on social media just to prevent this hoover or whatever crazy plan he has....so I can focus on my business which he doesn't want to really see me develop. I also have made many friends and supporters. I even sort started seeing someone else who doesn't have an egotistical attitude all the time but im still taking it slow and using therapy . I think also your videos really helped me understand the way he thought instead of questioning myself into being gaslit and understand realities of the situation.

Hi lee, can you do a part two! Love listening to you especially when you do an impression of the desperate narcissist 😂

Yep, I've had a few of these hoover attempts happen (family hoover, snail mail, fake emails and phone calls, hoovered at work by flying monkeys, new supply hoover, and the latest - The "surgery" hoover!) All EPIC FAILS for the ex narc!!! 🤣 When I say I'm done, I AM DONE!!! 👍🙌💥

narcissistic mosquito 🤣🤣 i like how you incorporate humor into your videos (even if it’s unintentional). bc it’s a heavy subject, it’s nice that they’re lighthearted moments. love and appreciate your videos, they’re so educational and informative. thank you

Omg, after listening to this video, I received an email yesterday. It was an invite to join the Narc in an appointment with him. As I sit there lookin at the YES, NO, MAYBE tab on the invite, I started laughing because I’m like I just saw this in the video!

Lee! You make me laugh! Having a sense of humor in this shit show of a life really helps! Thank you ❤️

First the narcissistic roaches, now mosquitoes; lmbo! I’m so weak! Loved the video !

😂 Batman is busy....so he needs you!! Lol! Great information! I have learned so much by listening to your videos. Keep doing what you're doing. God Bless you and yours!

Tried to Hoover me by calling me when he knew I was going to work and when I’d got home.🔥

“Sitting there eating chicken leg with your family.” 😂😂😂. Fact.

Changing their profile name on Netflix to “call me”. 😮😂

Oh yes. If they feel you embarrassed them they will strike! They will even get the law enforcement to be on their side. It’s definitely crazy lol

The narcissist in my life has called my new job. I quit my previous job back in July. I had to block all of the flying monkeys on my phone and on all social media. Each and every one of them. That was over 10 people. The comments got to me that I am disgruntled because I blocked everyone 😂

First of all, to understand what he was trying to do, you need to know I'm a tarot reader and a lightworker. I've been on the spiritual path for about 8 yrs now... about a wk after I evicted him from my house, he showed up at my door crying and drunk, begging me for a reading, saying he needs my help bc he's lost in darkness and miserable without me, that he knows he screwed up our 5 yrs together not working on himself mentally, emotionally or spiritually and that he should've listened to me bc I'm the best teacher he knows... Didn't work on me, took a lot of inner strength not to laugh at him tbh. He tried jumping into another relationship, with the 19 yr old he cheated on me with but I barely blinked bc who cares, I have spiritual work to do and ppl to collaborate with... Using women to hurt me used to work in the past but I bounce back stronger from pain than most, he underestimated me in the long run... He really thought using my faith and spiritual practices would work on me bc it's what matters to me the most now that I don't have a nightmare from hell screwing up my purpose and my life... Since then, he's used 6 different numbers besides his main number to text a bunch of fake sentimental bs and fake apologies and wah wah I miss you crap... N he got blocked everytime. No way, no how. He had 5 yrs n that's all he gets, the 19 yr old can deal with it from now on, I have magical shit to do 🙏

My ex narc sent me roses to my job! I give one rose to ALL of my employees. And at the end of the day. I poured the water out of my vase and took it home.

I would’ve been fine with another 20 minutes Lee. Excellent as always! 😊❤

Wow I saved so much of my time watching you I'm single still hovered by my child's father but it's definitely maintainable watching these videos he love me but he can't stand me because I make him take accountability and cut off anything that is or sounds like an insult. He looks like swiper off Dora the explorer when I stop him from trying to steal my joy. I'm still kind to him. When he's to much I leave I'm so glad I took your advice not letting him have financial control! Thanks Lee!

Lasted 1 month...I thought that was it...but I guess as you have said and others....they never close the door completely...luckily, I am fine, just fine...don't need him.....😊

I took out a restraining order! Prob solved!✌🏼

Watch out for their family members who try to their photos of the Narc to you also. I had to block my cousin because she was trying to set us up again.

I've witnessed this with a friend; a narcissistic ex showed up at her dad's FUNERAL to try and get her back. Also, they might try and pay bills for you to make you feel like they owe you. This is why it's important to go paperless when possible so they can't find/steal bills out of your mailbox! If you can't go paperless on some things (I.E. property taxes), USPS provides an E-Mail service to show you what's coming to your mailbox that day before your mail is delivered. Get your important mail before the narcissist can!

My ex and my narcissist sister did the cashapp chime thing 😂 they pushin it , popping up , the reaching out to family, fake numbers calling not saying anything hanging up , fake social medias crazy crazy

Lee, you are ALWAYS on point and on time with your videos. My exnarc recently deleted my whole Roku account with about 15 apps. I only got 2 back that I actually paid for…. He set up the tv and apps. He never showed me how to do it… As attempted as I was to call him and cuss him out I knew he would get pleasure from that so I didn’t. He has used spoof numbers to text and call me along with “Duo” I don’t think you said that one… Thank you for another amazing video ❤

The Hoover attempt was to put me and my parents on the contact list for student loans. Aggravated us for years. She then would attend classes and for her contact information, put my phone number.

Lee, my ex, my Nar, showed up at my workplace, and also called someone in Management trying to get me fired for talking to HIM on the phone. For some stupid reason, I did not link this behavior to his Nar personality. THANK YOU so much for bringing ALL of this to light! You’re the best! 😊😊😊😊

JOIN YOUR CHURCH!

Just when you thought someone has already hit rock bottom. Self love is definitely needed. Thank you for this video

I got discarded almost a year ago. He usually texts once a month around the same time every moth but if i did answer his text he wouldn't respond. Since i quit responding I just got a FB friendrequest from him. I accepted because I could care less what he's doing but I want him to see I'm very happy without him. I know everyone advises against this but I really could care less about this guy. Just let him see I'm good without him!

After 7 months of no contact after he broke up with me, I was confronted by my nex at work right before christmas (we work at the same place) and accused me of talking bad about him. And I KNOW I have NOT talked about him at all to anyone! He has a new girlfriend (who he met long before we broke up) and they live together. After that it has been quiet. Why do you think he did that? To get a reaction? To check if I'm talking about him? I have no idea!

Thanks for your videos! Unfortunately, I'm still only in the process of realizing what I'm dealing with. But I can already add a couple of methods: 1. He broke into my house and broke the fridge, but in a way that was not difficult to fix.. In anticipation that I would turn to him for help (he is good with techniques and cars). There was no reaction, I asked my friends to help. Then a week later he did it a second time, rhis time he broke the chip! 2. GPS tracker on a magnet. He puts it on the rear axle of my car and removes it if necessary (5 seconds). I never know, when I have it.. One time I catsched him. I sent Tracker to the police. 3. Not my case, one friend. FB Marketplace - strangers were interested in the furniture that she sold. Made an appointment and he came. 4. Every time, when he brought me to hysterics, was recorded on video. He now has a whole library of compromising evidence.. I'm afraid of blackmail.

Mosquito zappers...guess we've all became one! 😹

They don't connect or understand what we feel when we love someone. I think they use tactics they "think" we will make us think they love us. Of all the hoovers I've gotten the most telling there was something wrong was when he wrote Happy Mothers Day. I asked him why he wrote that. His response was " because women like that. Lol. Had no clue because he didn't get the emotions. No emotional connection.

🔥 As a narcissistic abuse survivor, your insight really helps! I’m going through the Hoover now. I made the mistake of breaking no contact. Now it’s been a yo yo. What gets me is not wanting to lose his good side, or Dr. Jekyll. Mr. Hyde, I can do without!

"One way I seen somebody use the mail " He means himself 😊 But good info though.

Leaving degrading letters on my door saying how wrong I was and how I need to just grow up and work on the relationship and stop being unreasonable.

Your videos are amazing thankyou from UK my partner went to jail today he's a narc he tried tearing me down calling me a handicap gaslighting phycological physical abuse

First of all: you are an inspiration. The levity with which you deal with your content is admirable and needed. Thank you!! I’ve got one. If you have a work trip planned to wine country and a plus one is invited, that’s a positive thing. It is work but also play. In the days leading up to the trip the narcissist started a fight over something trivial (of course) and said and did some things so vile, that I had no choice but to say “I’m sorry, but you may not attend the work trip with me. I’ve got to be professional and can’t risk anything going wrong. Plus…it’s taking me longer and longer to recover from your maniacal behavior during these episodes. Please out of respect for me, respect my wishes.” He said that it is not my call to de-invite him. What did he do but show up on the plane in Atlanta. I strolled on, and there he was. Already seated. Looking at me with such disdain that if he could have shot bullets from his eyeballs I would have been “unalived” as you say, at that moment. I set down, scared and freaked out. He said nothing. I felt those old familiar fight or flight responses inside my body. 30 minutes into the flight, he put his hand on my leg and winked at me, as if nothing had happened. Then offers me the world. Hoovering happens many times over and in many ways.

I have to say I had to re watch part of this because you made me laugh so much.

This is why his mail coming here all the sudden 😂😂😂😂🎉🎉lmao wow absolutely IN SANE the security systems working 🙏🏽🙌💥♌️

love your humor but most of all your wisdom and knowledge. thank you for all you do.❤

Knowledge is power! Thank you Lee💛

The guy I am with keeps hoovering me back in knowing I am a huge empath. (We have been on and off for 10 years). The first time he got me back was when his dog died. The second time, his mother got sick, and I ended up caring for her. I was a nurse. (Mean while he had girls offering to "help him feel better with a BJ" etc)... After she passed 2 years later, I left. I had to take care of my dying mother. Then his 2nd dog got sick, (I ended up foolishly moving in with him) and I cared for her until she passed. I threatened to leave 2 yrs later due to the way he treated me, and our/"his" dog unexpectedly had a mammory gland tumor rupture, and I alone had to put her down. Now (3 years later) that I am moving out, he baits me by saying our/ "his" dog won't eat unless I'm there... and he is worried he won't last much longer because he is getting old. He knows I have a caretaker heart and exploits it because I can't say no to someone in need... I'm not strong enough to turn my cheek and say, "Oh well, it's your problem, I'm out!". I feel like his maid and his side piece. He knows what to say to love bomb me, and hoover me back in with guilt, then back to square 1 with verbal and emotional abuse once he has me tricked. He "needs" me? Can that be true? Can someone really need someone else? (He knows I don't need him, and he got angry at that!)

I got 8 out of 14 smh...you kill me "Batmans busy" 😂😂😂🔥

This is so accurate

And I thought that I was being extra by changing my CashApp 🤣

I like that you were in the moment and took a breath. This was good. Sadly I've experienced a few of these. Thank you for this

I just love that shade of colour on you,you have good taste in your attire.

🤭 so damn funny Lee and this is true. They get desperate for any reaction from you! 💀

If they send anything by post scrub out the adress, write "address unknown" and return to sender & post back. Try & get someone else to write it or use block capitals. They will call non-stop work & home. They pretend to be someone else.

I used to think shit was a game.. but these narcs are honestly dangerous and I love my life. Ain’t tryna get unalived. So I’m just steer clear

Bang on!!!!!!!! Feed me more😜 The education you provide thankyou 💕

Oh I know that. Show off their “new supply” to make you feel bad. So right. Wow. Lee Hammock, you have detailed everything well!

He used to remove the air from my car tyres so I will call him. Once he saw I managed alone, he threatened to remove the full tyre so I have no option but to contact him again.

Love the Cover Photo with the Big Smile! That’s what Got Me here Other than- The Top 14 ways- a Narc tries to suck you in.

My Narc called me out the blue after 2.5 years of no contact!!! He called from a new number that I didn’t have blocked. I actually had a conversation with him that was seemingly pleasant. The convo was completely him telling me about what he’s been doing for the last 2+ years. NOTHING has changed in his life… same issues and dramas that were happening when we stop dating… A small portion of the convo - He asked me several questions about what was going on with me… I was actually shocked with how much details he remembered about me because when we were together he acted so disinterested… He said he felt the issue in our relationship was bad timing - I guess he forgot all the woman he cheated on me with!!! Anyway by the end of the convo he said that we were not enemies and he promised to call me again… BLOCKED!

My first narc of 14 yrs ran his arm through a plate glass window on purpose for attention because I told him I wanted a divorce, drove 20 minutes to my job, bleeding all over the place to ask me if his arm needed stitches. I had to take him to the ER, his plan did not work. That guy has now been dead for 13 yrs . 39 years have passed I'm still angry about him. He tried to steal my soul.

Has anyone else experienced NPD (ex) partners playing the "Everything" card elsewhere? E.g. "What do you love most about me?" "Everything." "What is my greatest strength?" "Everything." "What color are my eyes?" "Everything." Hilarious! Oh, and my ex consistently refused to say my name, even to people who knew me! I was always just his "girlfriend." So I said to him, actually as a joke, "You do that so you and your friends don't have to keep remembering new names. He didn't find that funny at all. I finally ripped his mask off after 5 months and broke up with him.🥳🥳🥳

Lol I can laugh cause I know that he'd try and do all of these things if he wasn't facing jail time for violating the restraining order😂😂 He's already done all of these things prior to the restraining order. I'm sure he's still somewhere lurking but now he has to be VERY careful. Good boy.

Another great video, Lee! Also, 14:20-14:35 had me rolling on the FLOOR xD

You be having me cracking up sometimes. When you did the crying narcissist.

Oh hell no. I wouldn't let them near my kids.

Mine would say they would get help once I told him I was leaving, when I asked them to do that months ago and they said they didn't want to. They'd completely contradict their beliefs in order to try to make me stay, when I know they would go back to their old ways once I got comfortable.

Ex Narcissist tried to Hoover me recently about someone has been sending him Amazon packages (randomly) for some months. I laughed when I saw the message. Ignored and will continue to ignore.

My narc boyfriend is acting really nice to me now, even after I had discarded him and went back to him. He has hoovered me three times before. He is really nice now because I am being more submissive to him. He is very controlling.

They pretend some emergency situation, .being the hero so to speak, alerting you..pretending something is not right somewhere...trying to engage with you that way. I like your no non-sense direct approach btw. Thanx

Is not about their words, is about the actions

I was discarded pretty brutally and I’m actually guilty of a few of these things. I was begging hard after she “needed space” from me constantly questioning her behaviors before I knew what a narcissist was.

That’s how I met him , KIK and here we are 6 years later and it has been crazy

Every time I leave, he comes back, wanting to be my friend! And I get sucked back in because I loved him... only to find out he has been cheating since December, and when I confronted him, I was at fault for everything!! I was so hurt, but now it's all about me and my mental health! #wish me luck

Thank you again Lee ❤

Mine comes and rings my doorbell like an insane person, follows me everywhere I go, or threatens to take my car.

My ex has more than once pulled the suicide threat hoover tactic. Recently he allegedly went missing and then allegedly was found dead but the info I was given didn't add up. I asked for the police station name and investigating officers name so I could find out what happened (as my gut told me it was him) he immediately revealed himself in a typical rant response.

I believe that I am a person who has adapted to living with a narcissist, but our relationship has come to an end, I do not hate her, and I value her for bearing my faults when we were together.

🎄🔥 Love how comprehensive this list was. Thank you!!

I get a text every blue moon! I keep it sweet and simple. “Who is this?” I don’t know you. You know me. It’s blah-blah! Blah-Blah “Who?” Stop playing! “No I’m for real !” “Who are you?”😂