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143: Love: From Our Perspective | Fathers of Gay Sons 

Latter Gay Stories
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Three fathers, all with different backgrounds, share their candid experiences raising sons who identify as gay. They talk about the coming out process, where they made mistakes, what they learned, navigating religious issues, telling friends and family-and so much more.
Let's face it: no parent expects (or can adequately prepare) for their child to come out. With few social and religious resources available to help parents navigate this journey, where do you turn when your child needs you the most?
The dads discuss some difficult topics and share how they reacted to some comments like:
"If I knew my tithing dollars were going to BYU to help gay kids graduate, I'd call and complain!"
“How can you choose your church over your child?”
"As LGBT people we are pretty easy to love, because we don't get it very often, so we can easily recognize it when it happens."
"Part of our process was to grieve what we were losing. That was real."
#LatterGayStories #ComingOut #ParentsOfGayKids #DadsOfGayKids #Mormon #ChurchofJesusChristOfLatterDaySaints

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21 июн 2021

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Комментарии : 50   
@gladdheart3030
@gladdheart3030 2 года назад
as a non mormon but Christian parent of two adult children on the LGBTQ spectrum, I am heartened by the Dads on this interview. I cringe to think of what my sons were subjected to in terms of homophobia in our family and church. Great job you are doing with interviewing all these interviews.
@WillemKok1963
@WillemKok1963 2 года назад
Todd, the supposedly “simple” man in this group, the quiet one, did not have to overthink it. His pure heart just loved. How blessed he is. All three men are superheroes. Love wins. Thank you dads. God’s grace and love are bigger than all of this, we as humans make God small with our arrogance.
@lovemyself6441
@lovemyself6441 Год назад
I wish he was my dad. His kids are lucky to have a father like him.
@davidmolina7543
@davidmolina7543 2 месяца назад
Yes, I agree with what you’re saying about Todd. He is raw honest and loving. No fuss no muss. lol.
@christopherrobertson7723
@christopherrobertson7723 2 года назад
After all, the sky didn’t fall and the Sun set on schedule. The most difficult thing for me is deciding which of these men I would choose to have been my father. They should all be thankful that they aren’t the parents of Mathew Shepherd or of someone who has committed suicide.
@manamedia
@manamedia Год назад
3 Men who are true leaders in their community and their parenthood! Thank you gentlemen for being amazing human beings.
@rkeller8141
@rkeller8141 Год назад
The fathers relaxing on the sofa with legs crossed, casual unassuming and tuned in, I love the visual. Before I came out, I would not cross my legs in public, because, as people watch hands, they watch everything. Heterosexuals can relax, I myself, never did, until I finally said who I was, its not the whole story about me. It’s still a rough road, came out too late and old. It doesn’t help that a gay man i knew awhile ago, took his own life. I suspect many suicides struggle with their sexuality. I respect how far these fathers have come in loving their sons, no matter what.
@robertaiudi6521
@robertaiudi6521 Год назад
i have heard of a huge percentage of LDS gay teens contemplate or commit suicide. I hope those who feel shunned and do not have e100% support can listen to these dads, and feel hope and love for themselves. I can only think that this is a very live-saving video for many. Thank you all.
@dpulliam86
@dpulliam86 Год назад
This is fantastic. I am not Mormon and never was. But I stayed in closet until I was 35 with wife and two kids. It was not religion that kept me in but fear of losing the respect and love of my parents. When I was finally ready and told them they didn’t care. Love me just the same. But all the years I waited just because I was worried what they would think. I am now in a healthy relationship with a wonderful man and my parents love him as well. Sad to think all the time and mental anguish I went through. Not necessary. Love is love.
@TenthWardJenny
@TenthWardJenny 3 года назад
51:20 Sad Reality, "I was not really changed until it affected me [personally]." :( 01:08:23 "If there was a button that would reset everything and [my son] wouldn't be gay, I wouldn't push it; because I am a better person because of who he is." Bravo! That really makes an impression, to not be loved in spite of, but, because of who you are. Who doesn't want that...
@johnbrooks1237
@johnbrooks1237 3 года назад
As a gay LDS man in his 60s who tried conversion therapy but ended up leaving the church because I realized I could not change who or what I was even though my belief in God and what the church meant I didn't leave it makes me so happy to hear these dads say what they did and gives me hope that things are changing and no other person has to go through what I did and that I might be able to return to the church some day
@arieltorres8960
@arieltorres8960 3 года назад
Stories like these makes me feel so happy for their sons but at the same time very jealous because my parents will never accept it , we don’t care what society thinks about us , we just want to be loved by our parents .
@dillanconrad
@dillanconrad 3 года назад
A friend of mine who helped me a lot at the time of my coming out said "it took me nearly thirty years to come to terms with myself and accept myself, I think I can give my family and friends nearly all the time they need to do the same." Your parents will eventually come around. It will take time.
@sweetbb125
@sweetbb125 Год назад
Spectacular Dads! I wish all dad's of gay children could learn from you. I am not LDS, but have had very similar experiences growing up so lonely as a gay boy and man.
@falazarte
@falazarte 2 года назад
This was very poignant. Kudos to these amazing dads. I wish my dad had arrived at this stage of enlightenment. In the end, I was over all the hurt and dramas and forgave everyone. Reconciled my faith and sexuality and moved on. But my dad still did not know what to do with a gay son and remained troubled until the end of his day.
@tamaralloyd928
@tamaralloyd928 2 года назад
I’m not a dad - I’m a mom, but I related to almost every word - what a comfort to share in these authentic stories! Thank you for sharing:)
@Mabeylater293
@Mabeylater293 3 года назад
54:51. I disagree. I won’t respect someone’s prejudice. It should never be respected especially when it hurts and kills people. You never know who you can be saving or how much time you have to save them before it’s too late!
@darreljohnson5416
@darreljohnson5416 3 года назад
Thanks gentleman
@Terry-dl4nf
@Terry-dl4nf 2 года назад
Wow, Todd. Guess you'll never see this message but you're such an impressive man and father ... took you just 30 minutes! Your son was so lucky to have you as his Dad, you're so progressive man! Thanks for sharing - beautiful man
@MormonSoprano1
@MormonSoprano1 2 года назад
Wise words. Wonderful to hear from these fathers telling their stories of learning from, and loving their gay children. I appreciated the time spent on "coming out" as parents of a gay child. This can be a difficult and complicated process.
@annachristie377
@annachristie377 2 года назад
Best dad's ever ❤💙
@brianyeager5900
@brianyeager5900 2 года назад
Such brave men! Much respect!
@marleymae6746
@marleymae6746 2 года назад
Aww. These Dads are great!
@peterellis1371
@peterellis1371 Год назад
Excellent podcast Kyle and the 3 dads.
@davidmolina7543
@davidmolina7543 2 месяца назад
This was a raw, transparent poignant conversation for anyone to listen to.
@ryr1974
@ryr1974 2 года назад
O'm not mormon but so enjoyed this. I think we have drug our feet for so long as far as providing a cleart set of resources to provide parents to help parents with gay kids, and much of the explosion of ttrans kids is atributable in part because of this vacume
@ted1091
@ted1091 2 года назад
Another excellent video and a great idea to interview fathers of Gay sons.
@kseniacaillouet1956
@kseniacaillouet1956 8 месяцев назад
What a fantastic interview! Thank you for doing this
@susanmark2000
@susanmark2000 3 года назад
Great interview. Great dads.
@googleshitsyt5557
@googleshitsyt5557 3 года назад
I would have love to have fathers like these and not being sexually abused until my 6th by him and his male musical friends... ... So anyone wants to talk with me and I can speak out (a bit)... thnx
@davidmolina7543
@davidmolina7543 2 месяца назад
Wow, that is some serious baggage you’ve been carrying. I had a student whose father and grandfather were sexually abusing him. This is so sad.
@TheLongjohntim
@TheLongjohntim Год назад
Here's what I say to parents who tell me their son or daughter has come out Nothing you said or did caused it nothing you can say or do can change it. You just need to accept and love them and hope for the best. At 16 when I came out my parents through me out. when I got married My mother walked me down the isle.
@westkey1
@westkey1 Год назад
Great discussion, amazing fathers ❤❤❤
@walneymario7519
@walneymario7519 3 года назад
A melhor coisa para mim é ver algo de aceitação, amor e compreensão destes pais, parabéns! Há pouco tempo nem se falava sobre isso entre os LDS members, mas felizmente, para aqueles que estão lutando para se aceitarem, podem se ver representados nestas histórias.
@lamarrharding4776
@lamarrharding4776 2 года назад
I knew my great grandparents on both sides that were pioneer stock some were centurion, when priest quarum meetings turned to memorizing missionary discussions I became inactive! When I bought my house, my cousin became my bishop, activated me and talked me into marriage, I had two children before I realized I was gay! Excommunicated but loved my kids and wouldn't let them go, so I'm still married decades later, she's been in a hospital bed for decades, so Divorce would be cruel. The wife's still a member, I'm not. I've had three boyfriends in my life, no sex but cuddling, hugging and holding hands, they have all been younger than me, but are now dead so my grandmonsters keep me occupied. I truly wish I had never heard of religion!
@anthonythomas1504
@anthonythomas1504 8 месяцев назад
Being gay hasn't seemed a picnic either.
@micgarch8805
@micgarch8805 3 года назад
Of course all our fathers would be struggling to understand a gay son let alone, shock and ill prepared to hear the truth. But think of it this way, your son is painfully struggling to fit into society as he faces the entire world with the shadow of the church who says a lot. Half the time or almost always the church do not understand what is it like to be gay and being ostracized. The church divides and quickly judge.
@kerplunk8011
@kerplunk8011 Год назад
question! a gay not interested in other gays, but crazy for married dads.
@johnjohn1009
@johnjohn1009 Год назад
I thought Mormons believe you can’t go to heaven if your gay? And if you support them you too will not meet in heaven. Explain. Help
@LatterGayStories
@LatterGayStories Год назад
The leadership of the Mormon church have recently taught that being gay is not a sin, but acting on it (entering into a relationship) prevents you from achieving the highest degree of heaven. Mormons believe there are three “degrees” of heaven with the highest degree (Celestial Kingdom) also having levels. Confusing? Yes. The church leaders have also taught that supporting the LGBTQ community is not a sin or punishable. They have said, on the record, that Latter-day Saint families can support LGBTQ people, attend weddings, support gay marriages, and post positivity on social media.
@johnjohn1009
@johnjohn1009 Год назад
@@LatterGayStories does that mean you cannot be a practicing gay or have gay relationships + be part of your Mormon family and church? Or does this mean you are only accepted as gay if your celibate. Thank you for your help
@johnjohn1009
@johnjohn1009 Год назад
@@LatterGayStories where can I get more information?! I’m stuck. There’s so much misinformation online. Sigh. Thank you 🙏🏾
@LatterGayStories
@LatterGayStories Год назад
@@johnjohn1009 ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE--urPx3SAQ7g.html archive.sltrib.com/article.php?id=2301174&itype=CMSID
@LatterGayStories
@LatterGayStories Год назад
@@johnjohn1009 you can also download our “On The Record” document which is a detailed list of quotes from the LDS Church on this subject. www.LatterGayStories.org/Record
@alberto-jo1fd
@alberto-jo1fd Год назад
Yes I'm gays he deaf. Have cancer.
@anthonythomas1504
@anthonythomas1504 8 месяцев назад
Good grief. So marriage is better with a gay son? Really dad? Talk about rationalizing. This proves the LDS are NOT Christian. No way. And if it only took "pioneer" dad 30 minutes to accept his 6'6" 300 lb "bullied" son as born gay, well.... Unbelievable.
@mrpalindromedary
@mrpalindromedary 3 года назад
Finding out you have a kid that is LGBT can be really hard, especially for dads. The Dragon Dads Facebook group has been tremendously helpful for me. facebook.com/groups/dragondads
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