As a very young INFJ, one of the wisest pieces of advice given to me was when an older woman told me that I over-analyze things, and to stop taking the layer cake apart piece-by-piece, and "eat the damn cake"!" Yes. Wise advice for an INFJ. We are not so complicated! Neither is anything around us. We/people make it that way. ;) As we age, we come to realize that much of life's complexity is simply perspective, just as often a "problem" is not even a problem until one decides it is. ;) As an older INFJ, all I can really share on this topic is that I have found a distinct correlation between how simple I can keep my life and happiness and peace of mind. ;) Hope that is helpful to some of my fellow INFJs.
Well said :). I can feel out of place even with other INFJs because I pretty much went through all this kind of self growth early on; it was first and foremost what I was driven to do as a child, so if I acted in some way, I would reflect. I generally spent a lot of time in applying Ti and understanding my own feelings after taking in the world around me with Ni & Fe. In this way, I have a high Fi and can probably handle conflict better bc I try to fix it asap. Or rather, I'm also very good at keeping drama out that I very rarely have to worry about it. Family conflict is unavoidable, so that's really where my tolerance for conflict comes from. I cried a lot over it as a child. Because I've learned to read myself, the communication part is where I actually struggle when arguing, especially if I feel very emotional about it. I know their feelings & my own so the struggIe is trying to find the right way to express myself which usually doesn't go well in arguments bc I prefer open discussions over presenting opposing sides (heart of heated conflicts that leads to uncontrollable feeling screaming out. It especially frustrating when the other person keeps pushing your side out of the way as if they don't actually care). I look for an absolute way to do things in a way, so I knew from the getgo I needed to take the time to analyze myself and I did. That's how eventually I broke out of depression and I guess a form of Ni-Ti loop which was integral to me learning my own emotions and stuff by allowing myself to use Fe more. It isn't more developed for me than Fi, but it definitely drives the way I socialize.
I have a few main problems now, (I’m 16), they are mainly coming from infj: 1. Selfdoubt (problems with loving myself) 2. Fear of not knowing the unknown thing of the future. 3. Crushes. Finally the hormones start to affect me and my behavior. And my infj personality is fighting it
Advice we can see it's validity, but I for one take it into account as concrete advice I still had to do everything the hard way. I may know better but I always like/d to see for my self. It's good for everyone. Constructively
True in a way but being a walking paradox among other things can be quite beneficial. Forget about those kinds of people. Those kinds of people don’t deserve to be around a wonderful personality type such as this. Anyone that has to use something against you is lacking in something themselves & by doing such things will never change their personality or whatever anyway.
simply a typical high Fe trait....also I gotta admit, infj's tend to be extremely complicated and contradicting on so many levels, that anyone would have a problem understanding them
I feel proud for being INFJ. I always feel as if no one has understand me, I felt like something was wrong with me. But now I know, it's because I'm an INFJ, I can totally relate to what you are saying.
#24 i am an infj but i have realised we just look for the security that we r so keen on providing others but never receiving... We make each friend feel special but somehow we always end up feeling like a second option in both friendships and relationships... Like its our duty to make them feel special and not a privelage we r providing...or something along the lines
Emotions are so difficult for me because I know how I feel, but then I also understand how they feel. So I don't feel like my feelings are valid because I understand things from their POV, but then again they are because I feel what I feel for a *reason*...ugh it's the worst. INFJdom is so hard sometimes
Girl, you know it. I hate it when someone tells me how to feel and think as well. When others try to "suggest" their perspective, Ugghh! What ever with them.
Thank you for kind words and thank for the answer! I'm dreaming of romantic relationship with INFJ woman. That would the most beautiful experience in my life! Finally, I could open myself emotionally to another person. Believe me, INTJs have very strong emotions inside and INFJs understand that very well. So INFJ is the best match for me! :-) PS: Don't believe in this stupid stereotype saying that INTJs are robots without feelings because It's not true. We just don't show our emotions very often. Sometimes I struggle with them inside and that's very tough for me. I'm ashamed of my own feelings and because of that I don't want to show them. I just need a person who would like to understand me. Everyone has emotions. No matter what type you are. Sorry, I had to write this because this stereotype annoys to death. I can be really sensitive I just don't show it. I keep my feelings inside. Okay that's all haha :D
Believe me I have never considered that stereotype to be true of INTJ's being robots! Two of my INTJ best friends (one female, the other male) I have perceived to have many feels. They just rather operate under reason and calucation than emotion and feeling- but that doesn't mean emotions don't exist inside them.
uth Płońsk You feel as if you open up the whole world will look at you and point fingers at you, right? Do you feel like people will think less of you because you feel as if your emotions are so embarassing that other people might think your stupidly freaky? I don't know, I feel like that's how you feel. Like your suffocating because you can't open up and you just wish to get everything off your shoulders. You feel as if you do you will be able to breathe and live again. This is from an INFJ perspective hehehe I don't know, that's just the way I perceived what you said.😊
I'm not sure how to believe that statement very much considering that my ex boyfriend was an INTJ and he found alot of reason to distance himself from me. I came to the conclusion that he never likes to confront his problems or be emotionally vulnerable in my presence so..when I hoped to connect with him, it was overwhelming for him when I'd point out the issues he would shrug off and mirror him in a sense. He said he loved me but he just can't stand me. Lol. That INTJ confused me alot. :X
I totally cracked up when you brought up the Hulk. Lol I never gave much thought about that part of my personality...although it is totally there now that I look. In university my friends called that part of me Destructo so it's pretty hard to deny. I love watching infj videos too. Maybe I'll finally break down and make one like you did. Great job on this one! :)
Thank you for your encouraging comment! I should totally make a video, I enjoy going through RU-vid and seeing other like INFJ's discuss their personality and expiriences. -S
Geez, thanks Atum 777!!! ...and if you don't mind me saying, that's a beautiful shade of black you've got going on ;) Pop by my channel anytime. All are welcome. Haven't got a whole lot of feedback just yet so I'd love to hear your thoughts. Cheers!
Honestly, the day I told my family how I function when it comes to my feelings, they just made me feel bad about my introvertedness and I how I control my feelings as an infj. I just shut up now about how I feel and when I feel something
The part about regretting saying something (opinions etc) to someone, I was just in my mind thinking about just that, nice to hear you speak of it, good video
"OMG" at every single one... *facepalm*, that kind of reaction.. you know. Shaking my head, going "OMG yes", or laughing. I'm kinda speechless right now, but all I can say is "spot on". TY
Definitely got a few giggles out of this. It certainly explains why ENFPs like myself are drawn to INFJs. We have a lot in common but it sounds like ENFPs have a little more calm in just the areas where you need it and you have a little more understanding where we need it. I've got to find me a few INFJ friends. LOL
23, OMG, Just let me vent. I'm not asking for help! I've learned with certain ppl that I should lead with that fact before venting. And, to return the same consideration, I've gotten to where I go against the compulsion I had when I was younger to try to fix others. Instead, I now wait to be asked for advice before ever giving it
Particular agree with point 18 - I like to do a little bit of internet searching on someone I’m about to meet, not because I’m a stalker, but because I’m a researcher. Totally get that
I agree with you about the list of famous INFJs, and we need to be ourselves. However, I think you, with your eyes, could convince any of us to turn away from our evil ways.
The worst of it aside from the cycles of depression is the "brain fog" where things simply crash and performance drops off a cliff mentally so people believe that we are dumb. I learned to love the complexity as it enriches the experience in an either wise dull life, most people are not that interested anyway beyond their almost meaningless little worlds.
Most of the time I feel completely alone and it's horrible. Especially when I hear consistent voices, not telling me to do stuff, but multiple reminders of horrible things that have happened, where I hold myself responsible and stuff.
I've found that most other people I know don't give a bleep about how we think or feel. It hurts.. We care, but they don't. Lack of empathy is a serious problem in this world.
I have few friends because I can't be around selfish people. They want to consume energy and don't want to give any energy back. And then they get surprised when i doorslam them. Unbelievable!
I feel like the thing I relate to most of all is wanting deep, meaningful relationships. Also the wanting to help the world thing. I've felt that way at least since I was a teenager. I do feel like I probably get stuff about people and the probable reasons behind the ways that they are more than a lot of people do, leading me to not be very judgmental in comparison, but I'm not so sure that I really feel others' emotions 100% I also tend to understand both sides of an argument and not "take sides" too easily except for when it comes to like core moral values.
I am an INFJ and can relate to everything in this video. Regarding conflict, i have a hard time dealing with it if I’ve accidentally upset someone as, to me, I have failed to be a top quality friend, the person will hate me forever and ever amen and so I should just walk away so I don’t hurt them ever again.
Just found you. My god it's uncanny how you nailed it on everything. I can't get people to listen to me. They don't believe I read their minds. They don't understand why I need my time alone even though I have explained. Thank you with all my heart!
I tend to think with my head but mostly my heart. My empathy and ability to care for and understand others is my work of art! Others often tell me lies masking their truth thinking I cant tell how fake they really are! If you hurt I hurt it really tears me apart! When it comes to the way I will love you it's more beautiful and has a deeper meaning than the music created by Mozart. While trying to figure me out, watching videos like this is a great place to start! I love you all my INFJ family with all of my❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Things are getting confused right here. I am an INFJ, my brothers have speculated that i have magic rather a high intuition which is key to my life and several decisions made in my are through that. I actually learned to rationalize my intuitions. Yes we love people but we don't trust easily. one specific thing is that we end up not having friends because we can't trust fake people although we love those fake dudes. One powerful thing with INFJ is that we don't hate rather we avoid bad people once we have felt they are dangerous vibe especially when they are ready to harm us or anyone around us. We don't fear but we hold big respect. Lot more to talk. Again we Enjoy being alone and we have too much energy that sleeping well is difficult because our brain and had is constantly processing things and we feel more than what we are allowed to fell as human.
I always feel extremely weird in public or as if someone is watching me be weird. I am so happy to know there are others like myself. I always wondered why I am the way I am. There are days when I feel like being sociable and other days I don't want to be bothered or even feel like talking. I've always had a huge heart
INFJ cards close to the chest... spot on. Good for defending yourself from hurt but closes off the possibility of connection. also your makeup game is ridiculously good :)
I am a enfp and is a close friend with an infj. Thanks for sharing. Infj takes care of many ppl around them sometimes it is nice they get something meaningful in return. They like well planned surprises that they were wishing all along. Something very personal. If they blow up like a hulk...just let them sort out and their emotion intelligence would sort themselves out later on. Infj are appreciative of even the littlest thoughtful things ppl do for them and they will remember them...shall I go on?
I feel we are completely misunderstood. I have yet to find a single person who gets me. Always comdemned and judged. Always left feeling I am on the outside looking in. Yet I have a heart of gold. It is never reciprocated. That is when I disengage. Not right away. It takes a lot for me to say I am done. It is lonely
I loved your video, I always thought I was really messed up and I listened to what everyone said I should be. Now I know who I am and through videos like yours it feels like the whole world has lifted off my shoulders, thank you.
I have given so much to thinking about making videos just like this. I live in México, I am Mexican but I seldmon interact with people beyond the point or politeness or just business pretty much for the reason you describe. One shares an opinion and then it's just dismissed and you just know you shared a very deep truth and then the people around just talk about football or t.v shows or how the weather is oh so crazy nowadays. There is really not much people, or at the very least that is what it seems to me, that know about personality types and many other things that a tad more "complicated" but I just can bring myself to make a video, my mind goes blank when I'm in front of a camera and the funny thing is that if you put me behind a microphone in fron of people, so long as it's a subject I'm passsionate about I can talk and talk and talk. What I'm trying to say is, thank you for the video :3 You just inspired me a bit
Releasing the garbage is very true. Cause as a infj I went back to orilies after installing a faulty rebuilt starter from orilies. And I explained to the manager that of course it will pass your test in your machine cause it's not under a load of an engin or having to overcome the resistance of a fly weel. So long story short I got so pissed off and started punching the steel beam. Letting him know that this could be your face. Well he got scared and called the cops. So as soon as I saw him pick up the phone I left. Well a few monts later I went back cause I had to cause they carry a cearten type of zerex antifreeze g05 that I use anyways I was hopeing that they all had forgotten about me a few monts back and to my surprise the employees there bent over backwards to help me and I never encountered that manager agin sence that incident. They hinted at him being a runner so iam guessing that he probabley quit or found another job. But yes this is very true I can explode all at once after many situations of dealing with people who refuse to learn. !
Oh my gosh yes, about balancing emotions and trying to process your emotions as an INFJ! All my life I've found myself upset about something and had to stop and ask myself why I'm upset!
I am blessed by the gods......thats how i feel about being an infj💋 i couldnt imagine going through this world with out my special way of looking at life..im 54 i have spent a life time getting to know me and i\we are pretty great😘😘😘
Linda Slichenmyer haha, I guess it’s true; I like to make jokes to my sister about random things I’m usually right about... “No lack of self confidence there!” She says. Funny reading your comment
I am a middle-aged infj male. I am very familiar with the list of things you mentioned. In my opinion the infj is not complicated, hard to understand or fragile by default. If they come across that way it is because of past trauma. The infj has a lot to offer if they are secure and are grounded. If they are shaken they shake everybody in their sphere of influence. In my opinion they have a lot of love to give if they can find love to stand on. Childhood trauma can affect them long into adult life and really limit them if they don't get emotional healing.
Your rad - just remember, their is more to this you haven’t learned yet. Be carful depleting your energy for others🙏🏽. We deal diff ways . Just make sure you take care of YOU also💯🌎❤️
I totally get that about being loyal to friends. I care about people so much and i just want them to be happy and i want to do what i can to help them in any way i can, but yea often people aren't used to being treated with so much love and respect so they back off and it hurts.
U Know- I'm Listening 2 U Now... And, So Much Is True! THERE'S ONE THING THAT U HAD MENTIONED- AND, I DISAGREE... WE R NOT COMPLICATED PEOPLE! WE R PEOPLE WITH FEELINGS... JUST AS OTHER PEOPLE... WHO POSSESS FEELINGS! WE R NO DIFFERENT! U KNOW- RESPECT PLAYS A BIG ROLE IN OUR DAILY LIVES! I Feel There R Times With People- They May Not Have T SAME AMOUNT OF CONSIDERATION... NOR, T INSIGHT OF SHOWING OR, GIVING IT IN RETURN! YES, I AGREE THAT T INFJs- WE DO SUFFER BEHIND A LOT OF THINGS IN LIFE... AND YET, WE WALK AWAY QUIETLY... WE DO! EMPATHY- PLAYS A LARGE PORTION OF OUR LIVES! MYSELF, I WILL NOT EXCHANGE IT 4 ANY DOLLARS AMOUNT! THIS IS A GIFT FROM ABOVE... I ONLY WISH THAT THERE WERE MORE PEOPLE 2 EXIST IN OUR WORLD AND, TIMES... THAT THEY COULD SHOWS MORE AND, SURRENDER MORE EMPATHY... THEY WOULD B GREATLY APPRECIATED!!! TRUST ME- We Don't Go Around Saying- I AM A INFJs! WE DON'T RUN AROUND OR, MOVE ABOUT IN LIFE- ACTING AS THOUGH WE R SUPERIOR OR, SPECIAL... WE JUST DON'T DO THIS! WE R BEING WHO WE R AS A PERSON... WE R BEING OURSELVES! MAYBE, SOME PEOPLE SHOULD SIT DOWN AND, THINK BACK... AND, REFLECT ON HOW DID U TREATED SOMEONE... IN UR PAST OR, PRESENTLY... WERE U KIND, NONE CARING, OR, JUST HOSTED? WE R NOT COMPLICATED PEOPLE! THERE WAS SOMETHING ELSE U HAD MENTIONED... ABOUT INVESTING UR TIME... MY THOUGHTS- TRY 2 INVEST TIME WHEN U R MEETING NEW PEOPLE... IT CAN B A FUTURE EMPLOYEE, OR, FRIEND... WHEN U INVEST UR TIME... THAT MEANS U R INTERESTED... JUST MAYBE, THAT WOULD B T BEST THING U EVER DONE! THANK U, JUNIE
Isn’t it fascinating, once we realize we are ifnj’s we have finally found there are other happily complicated “weirdos”, out there that feel the same way we do, and that, for me, gives me a sense of comfort. My husband just took the Myers Briggs test and found out he’s also an ifnj. I felt he would be, maybe because we have been married for 50 years.
One on one, quality time is the best. Lots of shallow interacting just feels empty.. Over reacting because I haven't the last 20 times, totally! Needing to be needed.. It's so hard to process our own emotions because we're so caught up in other people, I'm a terrible debater as a result...
I just found out about INFJs recently, and I thought a lot of the videos I watched about INFJs were so relatable so I took the test on 16 personalities and it said I am an INFJ... it’s probably weird but I kind of feel like I’m not a good enough person to actually be an INFJ. Recently I’ve been hurt by so many people I just feel like I hate people because so many people walk all over me because I’m quiet and nice to people. if INFJs are really caring people, wouldn’t it be weird for an INFJ to hate people in general? Of course I love the people close to me and I love nice people but I feel the majority of the human population is evil.
This I agree with as the world is a very toxic place and most people are too busy chasing their slice of the pie caring not how that affects others while living on their lives pointlessly. That evil is just another nail in the coffin.
You have beautiful blue eyes.. I enjoyed your video and I agree with you mostly, especially the dont-tell-me-how-to-feel part. I do already know how I feel and just want to share it to someone, who just wants to listen to that. I also do tend to process slowly a lot, most people I know would complain about this because they think I'm lagging. Well maybe I am, because I develop an attitude where I hold my self to react. It felt really good to be understood!
Am I weird that I hate to make plan's? I liked it when I was younger but after I got problems with my health I am more the spontaneous kind of person. I always look how I feel and live that way more than making plans. The only thing you can't decide spontaneously are concerts and vacations, and this always leave me with a bad feeling that I might get sick around that time. This kind of things makes me go insane.
Everything you said is so relatable and looking at the comment section, it really feels good to know that there are people like us! ps- the idea of having a instructions manual for people is really good, cuz machines have it why not humans?😝.
We all do. I’m INFJ and we are extremely complicated. It burns out most people we date. We don’t typically connect well emotionally because we always think we are communicating better than we actually are. Personally I don’t deal with conflict well, relationships are a compromise, and people argue so it’s tough. That’s just human nature.
How should we communicate effectively!!! I'm struggling with this. It's getting to the point where I am overwhelmed by being understood constantly. I have valid things to say im not Always right but I deserve to be heard even though my thoughts are far too much for most. I know this.... Everyone should be heard without having to say yea I said that a thousand times and now you're telling me. I'm like I said that. I love to learn and more so I need to daily!! Why fo people feel they should teach me simple tjings.. they should see what im.teaching
yes i found out i'm INFJ my family don't understand me too they think need to see some one but i don't care about that they don't know what it's like to be me
Are you able to be RESPONSIBLE for your own RESPONSIBILITIES be interdependent. Pay for your own bills. Expenses? Can you all be dependable?. ?Trustworthy? Can you be REASONABLE? Fair? Just? Self EXAMINATION? How many CARDS are there? You have a HAPPY PLACE? Spontaneous ideas.? Hold it!!
Im "first level" autistic with a INFJ personality type and all logic tells me Im also an OLD SOUL. So far I see a connection between personality types and the age of the soul-(consciousness bubble(sub- conscient)) I'll take a look at all the other person- ality types to see how deep the coneccion goes. After I learn the 15 other descriptions I'll identify persons to each one of them and pay attention to their moral values, intellect and so on, Iguess. I found out about this personality types 2 days ago and it's interesting but it doesn't feel right to put myself unther another's man deep interpretation of diferent personalitys. I don't know how I know but this personality type chart has more layers that maybe developed over time with technology and such.
Ok I think when I speak I sound very monotone, but then I listened to you and...is this an INFJ trait? Cuz I’m an INFJ and idk, I just find it easier to speak in one, peaceful tone lol
SHALYAN thank you for sharing your tears made me sad in a good way truly we seek the same in people but most people are like poisen to us because we care a choose to nurise them and they could care less I choose not to have many friends for that reason if a person says I take care of number one first they are not real good fit in life. We Are Number2 those in need are #1 it's just aur way. I have troubles in relationships for that reason I wish to meet infj woman so we could truly provide for each other the things she needs the most in her 💓 I'm too perceptive when someone lie or even try to be sneaky it drives me nuts so I need someone who can read me like I read them perfect connection but I'll never find infj woman.
