(3/5) An INTJ and her INFP friend -- Interview 

Yes, they do seem to have trouble asking for help oftentimes. Does it have something to do with the strong aux Fe drive to be of gently guiding service to others, combined with a learned pessimism that anyone is up to understanding them deeply and accurately enough to be of psychological assistance, combined with the tendency of introverts (Sallie was right) to want to do things themselves, combined with a tendency towards perfectionism and going with gusto for heavy responsibility if no one else involved is as competent? Worry about loss of control? What do you think? Funny you say that about the kind of mate you might have in some other life, Karen Traa (or, rather, not!) because I have seen plenty of anecdotal evidence in MBTI Nerdworld that INTJs and INFJs often _do_ choose each other as long-term partners. And it makes a whole lot of sense on several levels when I analyze it. To mention just a few, these INFJs with RU-vid channels are married to INTJs: Carolyn Zaikowski, Solouette, Chandra West. Several INTJ men have written in Comments under my videos about how INFJ women are strongly 'their type,' and several more of my female INFJ viewers have written lengthy comments in which they speak of _their_ marriages to INTJs, so there. :-) One of the latter's in particular stands out in memory: The combo of effortless and deep mental understanding on the Ni level combined with the restful ease and relief of living with someone who (unlike most everyone else) cannot be psychically 'read' -- at least not deeply, or nearly all the time they're around -- proved irresistible. To illustrate what she meant, she invoked a _True Blood_ analogy of what a relief it was for part-fairy protagonist Sookie Stackhouse who went through life involuntarily hearing aloud in her head everyone else's thoughts, to meet her vampire love Bill. The sweet silence of him emitting no such signals was wonderful for her. :-)

The part that rang so true . . . How was that, Thee Parris Hill? About men with inadequacy complexes hating intelligent women . . . I hope to god one day a much wider swath of society will see through all the antagonistic, inconsistent bullshit put forth by dummies from all quarters and will look at what feminism is actually about, and how much there is for men in it. For feminists who know what the F they're talking about, this is not an 'us against them' matter. But people who've never had to fight for their rights in any manner historically can be expected to be so politically naive that they don't grasp the difference between any old idiot saying such-and-such and any coherent school of thought. There's nothing in most strains of feminist thought that is anti-men. (Dopey females spouting off about wanting fair treatment but also 'real gentlemen'; men who'll automatically always pay for their dinner; men who are sensitive but never cry, etc., are another matter :-/ -- and usually loathe to call themselves feminists, either, because they have no idea where their civil rights came from . . . grrrrr . . . Don't get me started!) I feel compassion for the spot a lot of men are in, identity and compulsory b.s. notions of masculinity-wise. For what it's worth, guys: I don't want a stereotypical, macho, 'real' man -- let alone want to force anybody to take up that mantle. We can do better than that cardboard cutout of masculinity! If men buy into the narrow roles offered them by mainstream society and don't identify _that_ as the enemy (i.e., an enemy half-composed of men) and fight for more freedoms for themselves to be full human beings rather than veal calves on the emotional level, utterly dependent on women to meet all their emotional needs and be responsible for upwards of 70% of all the emotional labor of their relationships; if they identify women who won't fuck them or make kissing up to their fragile egos, laughing at their lame jokes on cue, etc., a main priority in life (in effect be, psychologically, the good mommies they very unfortunately didn't have) as the main source of _What Is Wrong With The World_, and the MGTOW like, then no wonder they're in such despair and rage. As angry babies with unmet needs are. There's plenty in men that they need to set their own selves free about and much more they should be giving each other, I think.* But it's going to take a lot of courage to make it happen. Like all social change always has. * Then there's telling uninformed maroons everywhere who know j-shit about their own history; who prefer "alternative" facts to reality; who don't think very well where to go // addressing the fact that, though they less often murder and physically assault than men, a great many women are horrific abusers that ruin people for life (we _have_ always had power in the home in the form of forming the children, and AWFUL things have happened and do happen there) // addressing the systemic bias that prevents a great many men from having proper custody and access to their children. And several other things, I'm sure!

P.S. Per the it's not supposed to be an 'us vs. them' thing, I just love this bit by (I think, INTJ ;-)) stand-up Steve Hofstetter: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-ZRVAVDAY7Ao.html P.S. Am back to (?) as to his type because I've been listening to a lot of his podcast lately and I heard him say he can get bored when alone for more than a couple of hours at a time (_never_ heard an introvert say any such thing), and his Fi is really, really developed. But he seems to have that J-ish, highly self-disciplined, sharp, got-his-shit-together, tidy thing going on, so I just don't know.

Long story short I’ve been well informed that my presence, thoughts, words etc. are unnecessary within modern society, so why would I expect those same people who’ve cursed me more often than not to tend to me in years where I can no longer do so for myself? With no true kith or kin the thought alone is disturbing, serving as reasoning why one purchases Humphry’s “Final Exit” which i have a copy of if I'am not to expire prior to such existence accompanied with insurance with suicide clause, a DNR, and will which calls for disposal of the remains following cremation. I once thought I could serve as a change agent of sorts yet that would imply there was something in need to be changed in the first place, such a silly thought. I’m a majority vote extraterrestrial whose stumbled upon one too many findings for his own good and so majority deems me unnecessary than by all means carry on as you so desire besides it’s not as though I have this all figured out. I don’t care to change anything because I finally understand everything is playing out just as it’s supposed to. Society is carrying on just as they see fit and I should do the same while locating the remaining flickers of beauty Earth has to be offered while I still can. I suppose this is a result of becoming more in tuned with my personal take on femininity? I don’t believe what we’re doing as a majority is correct nor do I care to shift that as if reality should fit to Thee Parris Hills version of reality. No. I enjoy the freedom of being just as I feel and work diligently to not influence alterations in society’s fabric. At this point I’ve checked off the majority of my “to do” list, even marriage which didn’t last but at least I gave it an honest go. I no longer require undesired human interaction for monetary purposes or otherwise which serves as a benefit for both parties. Naturally that’s not to say I’ve reached the apex of those goals as such notion is unachievable however as they lay I could die comfortably knowing I pursued and accomplished them to greater or less degree meeting so many fine people along the way who contributed in those achievements. I suppose my only aspiration at this point is to reside as the old man at the furthest end of the village parents forbid they’re children from visiting in fear that they too shall return having connected the dots going forth rebelling against the governing rules and stipulations of society as I once had for their own purposes. I’ve had few guests to enjoy warm pour over coffee with yet the ones whose company I have enjoyed certainly have been delightful and so from my own candle lit tiny house I conduct myself in less intrusive manners transmitting randomness through here or other platforms. Perhaps one day I’ll write a book? The grammar snobs will grumble but I’ll be less concerned with them and more concerned with the individuals whose transponder gathers and approves of my take on things comfortable agreeing to disagree at times with least bit of lingering ill will. There’s no one movement I can fall behind as the blaming game has gone on further than I care to entertain. Life to me is what I make of it with my own two hands and mind, I encourage others to do the same chasing they’re own truths while on adventure even at risk of confliction with mine. Ohh the life of a revolutionary, pirate, vagabond, gypsy.... I’ve merged a response in relation to the majority of what you shared (much of which made me smile) and do hope you’ll make your own personal connection to those words or it could simply come off as typical INTJ bantering which is just as fine as at least I’ve enjoyed this time well spent over a cup of tea (its evening) with you my digital friend and will leave you with just one question, what is it you enjoy out of all this presumptive chaos amongst our world? :)

Enid F. Patternson How delightful. His savage response was spot on how ive reacted to certain situations. Ive been told its both funny and scary as all hell, even in this video you could feel his intensity like ohhh shit yeah been there before. I feel some of the boys get caught up on differentiating girls from women. A girl will kick and scream demanding all sorts of things with little contribution to impact the change they desire. A women on the other hand has already accomplished change often going above and beyond what is called of her vs that of her male counterparts and calls bullshit when warranted. She doesnt pout, theres little to no screaming or kicking because regardless of what obstacles are faced her values never waver. I enjoy being around women quite much. Was a mommas boy growing up (still love me mum) and have been inspired by many of which served as catalyst behind my late teens/20s charge into adulthood. Im not gay however which at times leads to awkward interactions where at some point things go from a pleasant interaction to apparently im hot and bothered for them? But thats a whole other issue smh. It has nothing to do with sexual/relationship matters as i genuinely get along with and enjoy hearing more from ladies than i do most males. Women think, talk, walk, amongst other things far differently from girls who make up the majority. I see where the fustration on both ends (girls vs boys) stems from however what some of my male counterparts have to understand is that womens equality is not to be confused with the girls that have flooded mass media this perhaps may be distinguished by exploring internally whats truly triggering such reactions. I sense your frustration fella and can relate to much of how some of these gents feel however womens equality has nothing to do with that particular anger as much as it has to do with them calling bullshit for what it is. Now thats equality at its finest.

I really like your perspective and what you wrote, Thee Parris Hill. Side note about some guys getting the wrong idea: That's what you get (more compliments!) when you have such amazing style as a straight man, I expect. ;-)