What gets in the way is others, friends and family, not listening. They are too busy and wrapped up in their own lives. I’m the one they come to for support but it’s a one way street.
Having asked 100s of times, or, wanting to , hoping to, asking to, share with a supposed friend even, and always being told I'm a bother, even from therapists, who deem me too complex, i now have surrendered to the fact that I'm on my own. Alone, lonely, yes, but, without other options , it is what it is. Trying not to think beyond the next 4 hours is how i try to exist. Family deemed me ' weird" from childhood, and abandoned me. Chronic lyme, mycotoxicity, CFS/ME, all are "weird" challenges, and those who were semi friends didn't understand those challenges, and chose to disconnect, fearing it was all "made up", not real medical issues. There's only so much money, so much energy, so much time, and so many times the door can be slammed in your face, professionals included , until the desire or ability to even imagine trying again, is gone. Best to be alone, silent, and know I'm doing the best i can.... thanks for all you do, Alex 🙏🕊
#2 the hopelessness is what keeps me from trying. It's not really that bad. I've had therapists and meds, and they all helped some. But I can't seem to break through. Now money is tight and I'm old, so it's hard to justify doing much more. Thanks for these free videos! Tapping is my main goto.
Abandonment issues from birth, never feeling 'good enough', shame, guilt, being told I was 'stupid'; however the biggest 'clincher' was being told by a family member 'you're just not one of us'. Tried therapy, but I could never see light at the end of the tunnel (it's a darn loooong tunnel) so I'd give up. Self-defeating I know!
I have mid functioning depression. I struggle to keep going. I feel hope when my friend turns up, I can rely on her like I never could my relatives. When your efforts are met with criticism it's best to move and quickly. Don't hang around people who drag you down, there was enough of that as a child.
Talking to others about my ongoing lack of joy is not going to solve anything and besides they would not know what to do and probably would start to avoid me, because I'm not a good company.
I think that because I’m so tired of feeling this way that I think whoever I share it with may be tired of hearing about it. I also don’t want people who depend on me to think I’m not able to be there for them. I’ve been taking depression medication for maybe 15 years, and I’m questioning whether it’s even helping.
I do not want to bother other folk with my problems. I drink to numb the pain. I sold my car, and live in a very rural spot, which I love, but I can go days without seeing or talking to another human being, which is fine at times, but I do miss the company at times. I live alone with my rescue greyhound, and only go out of my home to walk her, and to take the rubbish to the end of the lane. I will not take tablets, yet I drink to calm myself in the short term. I just do not seem to get out of this feeling of anxiety, and have no money to buy a car now anyway. I have never been able to go with other folk in their cars, as I feel I have to be the driver, I have to be in control. xxx
People don´t believe I´m depressed. They think I´m just dramatic. That´s why I´ve stopoed asking for help.Healthcare providers have always said to me. your are obviously fine, you don´t have any problem
For me I don’t ask for help, things get worse and then it feels like I’m too late to ask for help. I feel it comes from being a child and teenager and fearing to ask for help with what was going on at home even though I knew we needed a social worker or some sort of intervention. Thorough therapy I’m leaning to be less numb to what happens around me but it’s fucking difficult. I’ve become so nonchalant to the bad things stay happen in life.
Having got the impression, imprinted somehow into my mind, that I don't have the right to feel, therefore, even recognising or self-compassion are somehow delayed and, such a delay of to-do for myself action triggers guilt that makes honest sharing to be even more difficult.
I dont feel that ppl think i have my act, but that i cope ok enough. But i really don't.I find that family and some friends dont nessessarly want to hear it or know.
I think: that everyone, who gives out info on human mind ailments - always - have that ailment themselves. And by helping others, you hope to one day see your self, and your own issues - clearly. If and when that ever happens, (if it can happen) - then will no longer see YOUR 'high function depression', in other people.
When I tried to open up my children wanted me to stay in the marriage and not be on my own. 6 years later still trying to learn to let my feelings out and speak about them, not very successfully.
Thank you All points present and accounted What gets in the way? This is trust issue. It is many years that I won't give my full trust to any person including myself with closed eyes. About 4 years ago I have started to count any trust in percentages. Back then I was in very bad shape. Trust in myself was between 70 to 90 percent. My son had 70. My new caregivers had between 10% to 40 %, but no more. Only lately lately I found out that I'm still highly vigilant still, highly sensitive, still very reactive and, looks like I'm emotionally immature. After half of a year that I have tried to take myself from the survival mode that I was at least 37 last years. And I'm now 64 years old. Looks ridiculous, and sounds ridiculous, but I don't feel like it. I'm again feel numb, and sometimes I just dissociate, and hiding myself in some stupid show.
