Thank you for the short. I know the theory of making new habits, but there are a few problems I have with actually making it work. First is, that to start one particular habit I need to buy some equipment to make it even possible to start. Considering that my liquid funds right now are seriously low, I'll have to wait at least until my savings book got transfered. (I do have enough funds for small stuff, but not the things that would help me the most) Which means waiting for the time limit to pass. Even then, I'm not sure if that will be enough. I had asked several groups for help before, but while everyone was quick to react, whenever they benefited, they showed little interest in returning something. One group at least explained, that they weren't able to help me in this regard, and did agree on other help. But again, the sort of help, they did agree to, seemed to benefit them too as far as I know, so I'm not sure what to make of it. I'm not certain, if the other groups weren't able either, or simply preferred to use the uncomfortable situation, I was in, to make me agree to some sort of oppressive contract. I do suspect the later to be honest, since there had been obvious actions that made it clear, that they would be able to help and simply choose not to do so. Regardless of the times I did help them. In a weird way of "the Universe plays the Uno Reverse Card", this means that while stuck, I'm currently not all that uncomfortable. Just a little annoyed and waiting for the time limit to pass. At the same time, the other groups are seriously stuck in a situation, that may be similarly uncomfortable, to the one, I used to be in, when I asked for help. Only in this case, most of them could have avoided this, if they had put fairness or kindness over their personal gain. Again, I'm not sure if the one group, would have been able to help or not, but the others pretty much flaunted their money instead of giving something back. I do feel sorry, for the ones who got stuck, because I'm not sure they are the same people, as the ones who made the decision to bet on an oppressive contract. But I flat out refuse to feel responsible over something others could've changed and simply choose not to, for their own benefit and I couldn't have changed no matter what I did. So just the start of the habit is pretty much beyond me right now. Then again, I do have a really bad feeling, about starting too soon. Maybe it's for the best, that I can't right now. Who knows? The main other problem with habit creation is that, I have a serious road block with the rewards. And that affects any habit, I want to build. I don't take much pride in success, since I grew up with a lot of envious people and success usually gave me problems, when I couldn't hide it. So I wasn't able to get anywhere so far with creating new habits. If you don't mind me asking, what sort of rewards do you use? What works well for you as a reward? Until next time
i think that *identity* makes the biggest impact. if you identify as a runner, you will run. if you identify with your drinking habit, you will drink. identify yourself as one who only has 1-2 drinks on the weekend, you will do just that. the hardest thing is to change your identity, it means letting go of a "part of yourself". many people see this as a loss, no matter how toxic the trait is (or was).
I felt more comfortable changing my behaviors and identity after 1) radically accepting that I'm still valuable if I NEVER change : - ), 2) using the terms self-care and self-love instead of self-discipline, 3) understanding that so much of identity is arbitrary (the era, part of the world, family, birth order, etc. we happen to be born into) so I might as well create some aspects of it based on MY choices and preferences! ❤️ 😃 ❤️
Just to do it :) If only emphasie the 'try' it will never be, emphasis the 'do' and it will happen. Following the 3 tips on the video are a sure thing to success inmho :)
Marissa, you look so pretty on that long dress ❤ I’m struggling to focus on what you’re saying on the video from that part on 👗 😄👏🏻 so slim and feminine
