3 Things I Find Bizarre About The French | Still don't understand | Expat in France 

I'm French and there is a saying that has been running in my familly for generations, "if you are complaining, you are healthy"

You're so well-spoken, I love how you always use studies and numbers to back up your perception of things! I'm actually French myself, but your videos are really interesting to watch because you analyze everything in depth and you tackle things I've never even thought about! Keep up the great work :)

Complaining about the French ... complaining ? It seems you're one of us already ;-)

jamais de la vie j’achète une baguette à 3€

I am french. I am currently watching your video and I just got to the end of your point 1). This makes me kinda sad to realize because it's true. Thank you for your video, because this is really important. I will try to be less complaining all the time and enjoy little things instead of being mad about something dumb and that I cannot change. Thank you!!!

Hi. Well, i'm french... I studied languages and lived in Portugal, i met and lived with people from Poland, Brasil... And i understand very well what you mean. For the first point, i'd totally say it's cultural. When i was at school, i felt always crushed by other people, always critisizing every single point about me or others and i kinda got disgusted about it. Even when i was young, i heard a lot about the bad points and so much less about the good ones... When you grow up in France, even if you do a very very good thing, people will tell you "Good job ! but now, i'll tell you about what you could have done better. There's that thing, then that one..." That's just like a feeling that what you've done is never enough because it could have been better. Okay i had 20/20 on that test... But that's not enough because the teacher told me some points are kinda missing or are not developped enough. Once at school i had 22,5/20 at a test because i did more than i was asked and for every single test after that one, i felt that even 20/20 wasnt enough. I dont really have words to explain my feeling but ... well. Just "being french". Lol. For the second one, i'll be a lot quicker... young people think it's "Cool" or "easygoing style". And when you have friends that smoke and you go out with them, if you dont, some will tell you 1 time every 2 or 3 cigarettes "wanna taste?" and people end up smoking like that. Third point, french people will only think something is cheap when it's free, to put it in a nutshell. Correlation with the first point, pretty much. Maybe it has also something to do with the change from "francs" to "euros". The conversion rate was 7 francs for 1 euro and about every single french people that earned francs will tell you that life is way more expensive now, compared to that "era". I hope i helped you with those points lol... biggest comment i've ever put on YT, and sorry for my poor english.

I’m French, but grew up in America and now I’m back in france and what I hate the most is the COMPLAINING and how everyone judges you and looks at you if you don’t look like them.

Hello, I just came back home from work and... 1. I have lost my Navigo Pass tonight, so I'm unhappy 2. I smoke 3. I'm a little bit obsessed about missing money So, I will be the worst guy to give you answers. But what I can say, it's that you made my evening better.

Funny because it's so true... Now, to answer your first point about the non-stop complaining, how do you think all those nice things you like about France happened (5 weeks off work per years, social security, unemployment coverage, good public transportation systems, etc. you name it) ? Well, it happenned because a critical mass of complainers finally gathered to do something about what wasn't satisfactorily working for the group. So that individualistic habit is in fact a powerful social drive on a large scale. It's our way of herding cats, if you prefer.

I can relate. I'm done with frenchs now (and I'm french myself) since I met my canadian girl : no more complaints, love to pay the dinner bills, always optimistic even when things are obviously bad, no more complex analysis about everything, enjoy what they have, way more tactful, laughs about everything and no more smoking!

Hi ! I'd like to respond a bit about all of that ! About the first point, i don't think we are unhappy at all ! We just like to see the good side and the bad side of everything to improve it after. We have so much stuff in France, that's true but we earn it ! It's because we always see the bad in stuff that we can keep trying to do better, asking for better things in general, etc. It's the same for the money about expensive stuff. About the splitting bills, i think it's just normal. Sometimes, you have more money and you can go to the restaurant with your friends and take a full menu with entrée + dessert cause you can afford it. And sometimes you're struggling with the money to live and people ask you if you want to go out to the restaurant and you're thinking "Ok well i'll just take one plate cause i need to keep my money for more important stuff". Well i'll be pissed if I go to the restaurant with not much money, take one plate even if i want more and then pay the same as my friends who tooks 3 plates. You know what I mean ? You don't know when your friends are struggling with money or not so better to just pay for your own or ask them if you can pay for them. About the smoking well i can't say anything about that cause I think it's stupid. Young people smoke because "it's cool" but yeah, even as a french person, I don't get it either.

About the money, it's not about the "égalité" or the revolution. It's more about the fact that France have been very catholic for most part of its history, and the fact that we are a very socialist country. So money is not seen as something very good, even if we need it, we believe that money corrupt people. ...that may explain partially why we are less happy than other countries with equivalent wealth. They are proud of their wealth and not us.

I am a norwegian exchange student and I have been living here for 6 months now. I agree with you so much on the french people being pessimistic. They complain so often and about the smallest things and I find it so hard to deal with sometimes 🙄🙄 really miss being surrounded by more positive people.. but oh well! Love your videos!!❤️

When you're out drinking with friends you can work in rounds, and someone will casually offer to pay the first round. But it's NOT a casual offer. It means "we're not leaving this place until at least 2 other persons have paid theirs", and it's a way to verbalise the intention of spending at least 2 hours out with your friends. It can also be used to shield someone when you know they don't have a lot of money but you know you can't just say "hey let me pay you that" because they'll instantly feel that they're poor and that they owe you something. The giving back culture in France is really strong and when you offer something spontaneously and the other person accepts, they'll usually tell you something like "coffee's on me next time", they'll feel like they owe you something, big time, even if you gave them 1€ to pay for their metro ticket or sth

Mon avis (en français, désolé) : ce qui est vu comme du pessimisme est en fait une incroyable qualité culturelle que n’ont pas les autres nations. La pensée française est ........complexe! car la pensée française est nuancée. elle est riche et profonde. Tu as raison de dire Thèse-antithèse-synthèse. on apprend cela à l’école. La pensée française est critique. c est le coté « intellectuel » des francais. Les français se plaignent mais ne sont pas plus malheureux ou pessimiste. c est un malentendu culturel qui est repris dans les études. Les français sont moins dans le bonheur collectif partagé mais plutôt dans le bonheur individuel à trouver. c est le vieil adage de Voltaire « candide ou l’optimisme » qui résume bien cette pensée française. Pour trouver le bonheur ? => « cultive ton jardin ». c est pour cela que nous avons inventé « l’art de vivre ». L’autre problème de la France, c est son passé glorieux et ses idéaux impossibles à atteindre. Quand tu fixes des objectifs contradictoires et difficiles (Liberté, égalité, fraternité) c est frustrant collectivement... nous nous sommes condamnés a l excellence. impossible n est pas français. c est ce qui fait qu on est français et hélas, on peut perdre cela. je ne souhaite pas que tous les peuples se ressemblent.

I'm french and I totally agree with you ! French people are always complaining, for every little thing. But I feel like it's because saying that you are happy and spreading your joy everywhere is not really appreciated there. I don't really get it.

OMG I think I might have been your 1000th subscriber! :o Congrats! Just watched this video and your 20 culture shocks ones and found them all really interesting. I've been living in Paris for about a month now and don't speak much French, so it's been pretty tough so far and your insights are really helpful. :)

Hey ! I love your vidéo SO MUCH ! The hapiness deal is very interesting ! I'm french but I'm expat in Russia and I really really feel way happier in Russia where I live now... What I didn't like in France is the fact that I didn't feel like I had the choice of my way of life. Here in Russia I don't feel that everything is so impossible ! (Like finding a flat (srly ? So much things to prove!), "selling" myself in a very awkard way to get a job I didn't even want!) A lot of it is indeed due to educationnal system. When I was a kid I heard things from teachers like "You're never gonna get a job" "How do you expect To face the world if you're so naive ?" "There's no room for average people out there"

Salut :) Wow ton analyse est très bonne! It's funny because you point things that we are so used to that we don't even notice them anymore. ^^

It was really interesting to hear your thoughts 😊 thanks for making the video!

About the complaining, maybe it's a way to get attention, empathy, compassion, because you have to suffer to get some, if you're happy you won't get some, but more likely jealousy. If you show how much you're happy and have a good life, people will be jealous, and will hate you and try to ruin it. But if you're as unhappy as they are, then it's ok, you're just one of them. And also, if you show that you're successful and enjoy life, then it means that you're someone lucky and privileged, above most of people. As if you stole something from them. Or it might mean that you're a simpleton who's happy with nothing. And also, complaining about the same things (the weather, the politics, the boss, etc.) with someone is a way to connect with this person. I think also that in France parents are not used to show much love to their children, to be tender with them, but rather cold, distant, tough and demanding. So it makes grown up people who are pessimist and complaining - not because of the actual current situation but, more deeply, because of their lack of love in childhood (nothing to do with economy or whatever). I've noticed that in countries like Portugal, parents are very warm and caring with their children, and I think it's the main reason why Portuguese are mostly joyful, happy, smiling people. In France it's normal for parents to punch children in the face or at least shout at them, insult them or humiliate them. It just means that you're a good parent. So then people are unhappy and pessimist without even knowing why. Also, I think French are very perfectionist, we always want to do better, to improve things. So we focus on negative points, because positive points are just normal, there's not much to say about them. We can't enjoy now because we think it can - and must - be better in the future.

Pour avoir travailler dans des collèges pendant des années , je dirai que les ados fument facilement devant les adultes pour montrer qu'ils les défient et les imitent , car ils veulent (égalitarisme dès l'adolescence??) être traités en adultes !! les discours hygiénistes et prévention santé oui ils s'en fichent , le cancer c'est pour les quarantenaires bref ils ont le temps de voir venir , et en même temps ils se plaignent ( autre tradition transmise très efficacement ;p ) qu'ils en ont vraiment besoin et que leur interdire de fumer est une torture cynique des adultes !! La contradiction est aussi une drogue française ;) Pour l'argent , même si la religion est un sujet tabou , je dirai que la différence entre vous "kiwis" et nous Français est celle que Catholicisme et Protestantisme incarnent vis-à-vis de l'argent et de la réussite sociale: pour le protestant réussir est une preuve de bonne morale , d'un comportement laborieux et responsable , alors que pour le catholique la réussite est une drogue qui peut rendre cupide , méchant, égoïste, exhibitionniste ( et toute une liste d'autres péchés capitaux .... ).. pour le protestant l'argent est une opportunité pour le catholique une responsabilité, notre culture est très facilement culpabilisante faut l'avouer. Pour le pessimisme , j'ajouterai notre goût immodéré pour la politique qui fait de tous un expert en géopolitique , en macro-économie , au lieu de voir "the bright side of life" des Monthy python , on voit les enjeux terribles du monde qui n'en finit pas de s'écrouler comme si c'était de notre seule responsabilité !!! Du coup on est frustré par notre impuissance à y changer quoi que se soit, mais heureusement d'après des infos récentes nous allons tous devenir crétins à cause des perturbateurs endocriniens et on pourra enfin en braves débiles profiter du beau temps et de l'air frais hmmmmmm comme c'est bon d'être pessimiste ;)

Love all your videos Rosy. You're a delight in every way. I hope you are doing well! 💞

I just discovered your chanel and now i am trying to learn English with your videos because you really speak clearly so thank you to subtitle your videos 😃

hi i'm french and for the money thing you mentionned, i think we behave like that is because there is a proverb here saying "Les bons comptes font les bons amis" "good counts make good friends" and maybe it kind of made it's way into the behavior about money. Plus there is a deep social endorsement on people not talking about the money they have, so we never want to show off about that. France used to be a very egalitarian society, this is maybe the reason why.

Hi! I believe we are not less happy than others but we are used to complain more because complaining (when you actualy have good reasons to do so) is not considered as a bad habit in France. So in surveys we look unhappy because when you ask to an american, for example, "are you happy?" and "why?" he may says "yes" just to be polite, because he don't like to complain even if that's not completely true, while a french would just says the truth^^

Hi Rosie.It’s your RU-vid friend.Lol!I watch your videos and I love your experiences in France.Kisses from this side

Very interesting video and well presented. I feel like I've learned a lot about French people. I love how succinctly you explained your observations. Well done! Thank you.

Hi Rosie, good videos once again. I have seen a lot of comments on french pessimism and smoke. And on the first subject, your video contains itself good pieces of explanation. I have not read that much on the money subject. Considering your point of view, you are 100% right to say that the french approach and the kiwi are quite different on this subject. Nevertheless, I am not sure that the example you take on the meal is a good one. I even think this is not an example on money subject but on relationship level. For sure, sometimes I calculate quite precisely... and sometimes I do not make it. It depends of a lot of things, but basically it depends on how closed I am to the other people and how big is the bill. Basically, with close friends that are coming home, wit whom I share time and spend holidays together I do not calculate. Though I do with others, and then depending on the bill level & numbers of person, I do or not calculate precisely. Now considering the different approach on money, there is different causes. You should consider the history. France has been a catholic country for centuries. On these times, the Catholic church was considering wealth, money, ... are sign of soul corruption and therefore devil. As for an example, borrowing money was forbidden during the middle age; and only the jew could make it and operate "banks" (this explain partly the antisemitism that still occur in France and the image of the Jew as rich / banker - even if the image has been strengthen after this period in french history). You have to understand that the Nobles who were managing France did not want to deal with money, investments, or whatever links with production. A class of bourgeois appeared along the time. Then, the Reform hit the catholic church, and somehow made it change... (I shorten the story here) And then long after, as France get it self a boom in development during the industrial development and capitalism, the France is half half split into the ones who fight for the communism / socialism to drive France and the others who were more "liberal". But liberal was never as opened as any other Anglo-saxon countries. It was more like being part of rich families that looted the country, corrupted the State and got richer and richer. You could also be a Bourgeois, but somehow you got this wealth by working for the State, not by creating firms, innovating, ... I make it simple but this has been a reality since... now. I do over exaggerate but if you consider the more rich people in France and the way they get to this place, and keep it, you will realize that only a few have created their own wealth. Most of them inherited them, and most of this wealth has been made thorough corruption or at least not transparent transaction. (Look at the report of Transparency international, France has a low ranking). Then look also at the other face. The level of communist & socialist has always been very high in France... Somehow it is saying that the individual is first a part of the Collective and then a independent person... which is strictly the opposite in Anglo-saxon countries. So to end this so long comment, in this way of seeing, the money you have has been somehow stolen to the collective. So you better hide it. CQFD. (Once again, sorry it is very long but it is still an abstract. )

French here who spent a few years in Canada and when I came back from Canada all the points that you raised here jumped out of me. Yes we complain a lot. Happy people here are seen to some extent as goofy people. French like characters who criticize a lot they appear to be clever (and not boring) people. Also we (generally speaking) like people full of melancholy for us they are not pessimistic but just poetic people. Ok I am exaggerating a bit but not that much. For smoker at least now with the e-cigarette it is less annoying for non-smokers As for our relation with money, yes earning a lot and showing it is definitely not well seen, even if you worked hard for it, in people's mind here it means that you took advantage of others and yes we are attached to "equality". But it is sometimes just pure jealously and it is sad (back to #1 ;-)) For 1) and 3) French are very aware of it, 1) might change, 3) I don't think so

Hi Rosie, and thanks for your videos, you do nail things that really help me as a French abroad! :) The French paradox is a really interesting point and I do agree that there is something weird here! I would tend to think that there may also be a difference in how people express (rather than feel) their happiness and feelings in general. After all, we do complain about stuff that does not even really bothers us sometimes, it is more of a 'mind sport' (somehow I sometimes feel like people kinda enjoy to complain...if you see hat I mean)...maybe this negative way of thinking influences our perception of things, a little like a negative cognitive bias would?

I really appreciate you doing this video, as I've been chewing on the idea of moving to France for a while but am leery about the kind of pessimism that you describe here. Thanks for turning me onto the research from Senik, I'm going to read that and see what I can glean from it. Best regards!

Hey, here are some explanations about these facts: general pessimism, yes, it's totally true, we always have the tendency to see the glass half empty. I think many people have very high standards about happiness and this scholar habit to discuss pros and cons may be one of the reasons. And most people are not patient at all, so everything that slows you down (computer, traffic...) is considered as a part of some conspiracy against you :-D And I think the political context is also a reason not to be fully happy, people see the society changing, but not in good compared to the glorious 30. I'm 36 and I belong to what is called the "sacrificed generation", since the eighties, we have only known unemployment boom, AIDS and professional insecurity. Some sociologists noticed that we are the first generation (in France) that will have lower social progress than their parents. What I mean is that during the 20th century, each generation made it better than the previous one in terms of work conditions, wealth, etc. Until us hence the general pessimism because people think that our governments can not change anything anymore. Smoking, yes it's kind of a way of being part of a group when you're a teenager, and for some reasons, every campaign against cigarette kind of fails. They're thinking of increasing prices as Australia did, this should have more effect but in France you have more possibilities of smuggling tobacco and get it cheap. Money:usually people don't like to talk about it as Anglo-Saxons, because it's considered quite rude to brag about your income or the price of your car. About restaurant bills, yes, we have this saying "Les bons comptes font les bons amis" so it's not rare to see students paying exactly what they had, that makes sense to me as sometimes people would order a very expensive dish and I would not like to pay for it if I were skint and took only a salad. But this depends on the people you are with, with friends, we used to split the bill in equal parts as nobody was rude enough to order foie gras meanwhile others ordered pizza. There's a very famous sketch about this. ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-R1jF2Z72LK8.html

I've lived in New Zealand for a little while, and even though I was blown by how positive you guys are, I couldn't quit the "complaining habit". I remember listening to my mom complaining all the time about french government as a child. It's just a thing we grow up with, so it is impossible to get rid of it as an adult. My guess is that originally, this "depressive" behavior comes from all the literature geniuses we had who were mentally tortured persons (Baudelaire being the most famous of them). We more or less associate intelligence with sadness, as if it was bound to be a burden. That's also why this overspreaded depressive atmosphere is particularly visible in Paris, where people want to see themselves as clever people. But that's just a guess^^ Great videos by the way, that's amazing how you so accurately framed french people. And you've even done some research to complete your impressions. Great job!

Great youtube video, very revealing - well done! Enjoyed it.

Hi Rosie!! I have been bingeing on your videos all morning! I'm 24 from California, and I've spoken French since I was 14. I speak the Quebec dialect due to circumstances, and I'll actually be visiting France for the first time this year, and as a Californian growing up in a town that's 40% Mexican, everyone is our friend and enchiladas are life. I knew a lot of the things you've mentioned in your video, almost none of which I experienced during my time in Quebec. I really appreciate the depth you went into. And since my mom is going with me (and she is EVERYTHING you would expect of an American tourist for sure) I am going to have her watch all of your videos hahahahahaha!!! The smoking thing....I don't quite understand it either. Actually here in California marijuana has become, or is becoming, much more popular than cigarettes. The cigarette smokers I have encountered from Europe, whether it be online or during my travels, see them as relatively harmless and when I said I partake in cannabis from time to time they looked at me like I was addicted to crystal meth. Which boggles my mind and I will never understand either, so you are not alone. Anyway, appreciate your insight et merci de tes vidéos!

My English teacher who's from the UK also told us that she was very shocked about teenagers casually smoking in front of their school. But as long as you're not on school territory anymore, teachers can't do anything about it! Usually parents don't know about their child smoking though haha About the bill splitting...it depends on the people you are with. I've experienced both.

My cousin lives in Paris and she told me the same: that the french appear to be chronically unhappy. It does not come as a surprise that in order to say positive things they often use "ne-pas" o simplemente “pas xxxx” (where xxx is usually a negative thing or adjective already).....in other words a "negative of the negative” . She also also said that people can be incredible rigid, and specially when it comes to education. BTW, I love your videos.

Hello ! I'm a french grown and living in Paris region, and I agree almost all the whole Rose's analysis !

I really love to hear you speaking about french people because i am one and i totally recognize myself into your videos. Please continue as long as you can and if you need explanations about french stuff then just ask for it !

Living in France for the past five years, and having had a French mother, I totally agree with you about the French pessimism. However, and this might explain things a little, we should remember that the French (particularly the older generation) have come off from two major world wars on their own soil. Things were very difficult and it has taken many years for the country to rebuild itself. My mother was hugely pessimistic even after she left the country as a war bride and lived in the United States for the rest of her life. She was basically a “Debbie Downer” on everything, just like her brethren who remained in France. I believe the new generations, like “Gen X” etc. are much more optimistic while at the same time still being “French” - if you know what I mean.

About the smoking, in my old high school, there was even a smoking spot for the students and the teachers to smoke

You seem very intelligent because you ask yourself lot of questions and you always developp an idea and try to understand where an impression come from, what could be the explaination for that... Very interresting ;)

Génial tes vidéos et ton regard extérieur sur nos habitudes, nos défauts et ce qui fait de nous un peuple parfois un peu spécial. J'espère en tout cas qu'en vivant en France, tu gardera ta bonne humeur et ton positivisme Néo Zélandais. On a clairement besoin de plus d'étrangers en France qui pensent comme toi pour nous inculquer un peu dans nos vies de voir les bons cotés des choses et d'apprécier ce qu'on a. tu dois être une fille agréable comme amie ou collègue de travail alors ne changes pas !

Complaining is something that we the British do too. If it's not the weather, its the traffic, a long queue etc. Smoking I guess I'll see what its like when I go but in Britain I'd only want to pay for what I had. If I had a salad and someone else had a steak, splitting the bill in that case is unfair. So now I feel French.

Hahaha, les français font la gueule, fument et ont un problème avec l'argent. CA, C'EST SÛR.

Hi Rosie! Thanks for the observations that you posted on your video. We are currently visiting Paris and your videos have helped me understand French culture a little bit better. I am happy to have had the opportunity to visit Paris, I am a believer that no culture or country is better than any other, we are just all different, and we must respect thise differences.

My daughter is going to visit a Frenchman she met here in the US. I've been sending her your videos. You're adorable and these are so informative. Thanks!

As far as pessimism goes, it seems to be a consensus that the new generation will have a worst live than the previous. And let's face it: the "Trente Glorieuses" are way behind us, full employment too, wages aren't really rising, while cost of living and housing does. Our forefathers fought for their rights, I mean all the "conquêtes sociales" were making life better, and we could have a feeling that, for once in history, the weak assembled could have the powerful bend the knew without slaughter and bloodshed (though the social struggle was harsh). But not only has this dynamic stopped, it has actually reversed: we are losing rights with every new government and president. Our "national identity" doesn't fit into the whole scheme of globalization, not our industry that has been torn to pieces, not out agriculture that has become quite industrialized and farmers are committing suicide at an alarming rate. We're not a nation of stockbrockers, or of "shopkeepers" as Napoléon said, and somehow it feels we belong to the past as a nation. I believe it's true we have a problem with money: it's always somehow dirty, it always brings trouble (it makes life a game of Monopoly, and we all know how it ends), and it isn't a measure for anything worth living and fighting for. Yet, more than ever, it's the Great God, and it's certainly not one we're willing to worship (not even the macronists!). France is the nation that produced Bourdieu, Foucault, Derrida, Barthes, Deleuze, and the illegible Debord, all incredibly sceptic thinkers that you could not have fooled, and who saw everything in "mêta". I believe it's not a coincidence. Maybe that pessimism is a sort of lucidity: we can't settle with the idea that things are just well the way they are. If we did, it would feel like we're missing something, that we're sleeping on our watch.

Pour l’argent : parler du sien est prétentieux et questionner les autres sur le leur est indiscret! Ca doit être un vieux fond Catho. « il est plus facile pour un chameau... » etc.

Woaw, I really enjoy your analysis about why we tend to point out the negative parts. Education is for sure a big part of that. I guess it is a good thing to teach us to criticize, as people that are not used to that are likely to accept everything, but the other thing we shall be taught is that criticism can be performed in a positive way, instead of in a negative way.

Hi Rosie, I love your videos. I am also an expat living in France for about 4,5 years, but I am moving to NZ in a couple of weeks for 6 months. SOOO EXCITED. Anyways, I wanted to say I empathise with your videos, most of the time I realise that I make the same comments to my colleagues or friends :) I am sorry I don't have an answer for you, still trying to understand myself but the weird thing is that the 3rd thing, money, hasn't happened to me yet. No matter with whom I go out, be it close friends or just acquaintances, or colleagues, we just split or someone just pays everything and no one talks about it. That's why I was quite surprised when I heard your experience.

L'explication principale de la mentalité française est la forte et longue influence de l'Eglise catholique. L'argent et le plaisir sont des péchés. Le bonheur est donc dissimulé derrière un maximum de plaintes. La plupart des français critiquent leurs vies, mais la trouveraient encore pire dans un autre pays. "Tout va pour le mieux, dans le meilleur des mondes possibles".

For the money part , there is a saying : " Les bon comptes font les amis". Basicly most french people hate being in debt to someone... not because it's forbidden in our culture, but more like you feel embarassed that you had to make your friends/family pay for you. I mean we all have the same relation when it comes to money, whatever the countries it can be. And we all know the destructive effect it can have on a relationship if someone owes you money but never give it back. This is also why we are doing this, to prevent further problem and damage to a relationship we care about. That also doesn't mean we don't offer drinks/meals or gifts, but it HAVE to be from the one who is paying, willingly. Assuming that someone will be paying for you is kinda rude in France.

Love your videos, hun! Your channel is very insightful, you are very intelligent. I LOVE when you speak French, it’s such a beautiful Language. ❤️Could you please consider writing subtitles when you speak French? ☺️

There are many great points in previous comments. I just wanted to add that you had absolutely right on your point over French's mentality. As for example I played eSport (like 4/5 years ago) and I'd got differents teammates, training partners and coaches. Especially 1 FR and one US. The 1st one was only considering our mistakes wheread the other, of course noticed them, but told us about what we were doing good too. It seems like there is no big differences but I can swear that hear that there is positive things you can do is so encouraging, but sadly, rare in France 🙁 So yeah, I am agree with you on the fact that's a mentality and wanted to share my experience on that. I keep working on this bad mentality and my English in the same time (sry^^)

Tes vidéos sont tellement biens 😀 ! Tu sais, tu as raison ! En France c'est très compliqué d'être optimiste. Tu es brisé dès ton plus jeune âge (tu rends un travail et tu es content de ton style d'écriture et de quelques arguments par exemple ...Ben le professeur va te rire au nez en disant "oui mais il y a des fautes partout, c'est mal écrit, la conclusion n'est pas bonne ...etc " ...du coup ça marque et après tu cherches toujours la petite bête ^^. Ensuite (c'est très triste de dire ça) mais si tu ne râles pas ....tu n'es pas écouté ! Si tu ne râles pas, tes dossiers administratifs seront traités en dernier, tu passeras après tout le monde, tu n'auras pas d'augmentation, pas de promotion ...etc. *En France, être optimiste, c'est risqué de passer pour un imbécile heureux* 😖

Chez moi (dans ma famille du moins) se plaindre sur des futilités comme un pc qui s'allume pas assez vite veut dire que tout va bien : si je me plains pour des débilités pareilles ça veut dire que je n'ai pas de problèmes plus graves dans ma vie.

Hey ! Merci pour toutes ces chouettes interrogations que tu nous fais poser sur nous-mêmes petits frenchys :)) l'histoire de se plaindre tout le temps, tu as bien abordé le principe avec l'image de la noix de coco ;) quand quelqu'un se plaint de quelque chose, c'est pour évacuer un stress, dans un premier temps. Ensuite il y a ce que tu décrivais ailleurs comme l'apport de diverses approches d'un problème. La personne qui se plaint d'une chose attend en fait qu'on lui présente les choses sous un nouvel angle, un autre point de vue. Et/ou il y a une recherche de compassion, ce qui pour le coup crée effectivement une connivence sociale, ce qui permet d'évaluer de quelle manière on pourra *ensuite* parler... des choses qu'on a apprécié. C'est le même principe que la noix de coco, on évacue d'abord le truc plein de poils immangeable puis on peut attaquer la pulpe :)) Ensuite aussi, s'il n'y a pas convergence, ni compassion, ni empathie mais divergence, l'esprit critique peut justement améliorer votre perception personnelle et, surtout, ouvrir la discussion sur de nombreux autres points. "La route a été super longue pour arriver à mon lieu de vacances j'étais crevée" -L'entretien des routes, la pollution, l'heure à laquelle on a fait le trajet (et, donc, ce qu'on a mangé ^^) etc, tout est contexte et surtout barème de situation sociale, en fait chaque phrase est à considérer comme un organigramme ouvert qui t'indique vers quel type de discussion "vraiment" importante tu peux t'engager ensuite. Pourquoi les guillemets ? parce que la vie privée :) Même si tu es avec quelqu'un que tu connais bien, tu vas pas forcément lui dire les mêmes choses d'une personne à une autre. Donc le degré d'importance d'une conversation est, en fait, la priorité, plutôt que de savoir si "tes vacances se sont bien passées"... ^^ Bon, comme toujours il s'agit de généralités et on fait bien souvent des choses sans même le savoir vraiment pourquoi soi-même. A l'inverse et là je parle pour moi personnellement il y a une chose que je trouve détestable c'est le positivisme à tout prix. Même s'il peut s'agir d'une convention sociale de tout tourner de façon positive, je pense que, s'il fait froid et qu'on le supporte pas, ou qu'on en a marre de la pluie ou d'avoir passé deux heures dans un embouteillage, faut pas faire semblant en mode "yeah ! trop bien ! j'ai trouvé deux euros par terre aujourd'hui !" Si ton interlocuteur a eu une journée pénible, c'est bien de le savoir, tu vas faire plus attention à son état d'esprit, sa disponibilité... (se plaindre est aussi parfois une technique pour que les gens ne vous parlent pas... mais chut.. c'est un secret de français :) ) Pour finir il y a aussi quelque chose qu'on avouera difficilement, mais on est dans une société où on demande beaucoup aux gens de faire preuve de diplomatie en permanence, à cause du positionnement social, ou culturel ou religieux etc. On s'efface en fait beaucoup, pour que la cohérence d'ensemble tienne. Donc, "se plaindre" c'est parfois juste un petit signal pour dire "fais attention un peu à moi, en tant qu'individu". Bon au final, ça peut donner une vue d'ensemble de gens tout le temps en train de râler (et parfois en effet, comme les malpolis, on en trouve) mais clairement c'est toujours justifié. Se plaindre des gens qui se plaignent est une plainte, non ? :)

A 3€ baguette IS really expensive! Absolutely love your vids, they make me think & learn more about my own country

Je suis français, je vis à l'étranger depuis plusieurs années, je suis marié à une étrangère et mes enfants sont bi-nationaux. 1/ Ce que j'ai appris à comprendre, c'est que la France est un pays profondément élitiste. Je pense que ça vient du passé aristocratique du pays. Il y a une culture aristo (peut-être qui explique le rapport à l'argent) et un besoin de hierarchie fort. Il y a toujours cette recherhche de la valorisation, du luxe, la culture partout : du foot à la bouffe alors que ce sont des choses populaires (le mépris du peuple, c'est bien français, ça), l'obsession de péter plus haut que son cul etc... 2/les Français sont les seuls au monde à penser qu'ailleurs tout est mieux, que la France c'est nul. Moi, je vous dis à tous, vous etes français, que ça plaise ou non, si c'est votre culture : c'est votre culture et vous n'allez pas la changer si facilement. Toi le rital qui est né à Metz, toi l'algérien qui est né à Toulouse, vous etes aussi français, que ça vous plaise ou non. Et c'est un beau pays, arretez de vous déchirer tout le temps entre vous. L'Etat et le peuple, ce sont 2 choses différentes! Moi les gens me manquent, l'Etat beaucoup moins... 3/C'est un pays qui marche au rapport de force. Dès le plus jeune âge (d'ailleurs 4/pourquoi les Français s'obstinent à vouloir faire de leur gamins des petits adultes??), vous comprenez la hierarchie, la privation, l'injustice, l'impossibilité de s'exprimer. L'école française est une machine à fabriquer des frustrés déresponsabilisés. Bref, je vais peut-être regardé la vidéo maintenant ;-)

I'm a 23 old french girl living in France. In my opinion it's totaly true when you talked about pro and cons in school. When you talk with someone about an experience you had it's considered as normal to expose the good sides of it as well as the possible bad sides you could be exposed to. Also I think french people like to develop a kind of pessimistic image which in some ways can participate to the myth of the romantic/ cursed french. Exposing the bad sides of situations could also be a "trick" to show that we are more farseeing than people who enjoy life and opportunities that are given to us as if we are living in a constant conspiracy and have to fight eternally for our rights. It's just my opinion.

I love how you've picked up, even in english, saying 'took' instead of 'had' when you're talking about eating or drinking something, it's adorable and although I don't anymore I totally used to do similar things when speaking in english while and right after I lived in France.

Such a detailed video! I loved this!

_Bon marché_ does mean cheap, we just don't use that phrase a lot. More common is to describe everything as _cher_ or _pas cher_

"France still has a relatively high standard of living" yep, even toilet water is drinkable wtf xD

"Complaining is like a national sport" ohh my godness 😂😂😂 you're so right!!!!!

Do you ever do makeup videos? Your glowy base in this video is gorgeous!

yes please my french fellows! cheer up! we live in a great country, just go out of it to figure out! thanks for your videos, i hope some other french will wach them. an outside point of view is good to realise how lucky we are. merci! continu tes videos! elles sont utile!

Salut Rosie^^ Ton analyse est très détaillé et vraiment intéressante!! Honnêtement je n'est pas vraiment de réponse du pourquoi à ces caractéristiques françaises mais très clairement si tu râle pas en France, tu n'est ni écouté, ni pris en considération. Pour ma part j'ai toujours ressenti un sentiment d'exclusion du fait de pas être en phase avec ces comportements sociaux, surtout dans le monde du travail... Et j'avoue évité de m'entouré de personnes qui sont souvent en train de se plaindre, je supporte plus😡

Franchement agréable tes vidéos, chaleureuse, souriante. Une idée de vidéo peut être : "Tes expressions françaises préférées ou bizarre" :p Et désolé je ne sais pas écrire en Anglais ( histoire de renforcer le cliché héhé )

So true statement on how education is impacting us. I m an oversea French appreciating every single minute of my life with expectation to never having to work again in France!

I think you didn't understand why french are so pessimist... Because french people don't want to be a common country, french people have a very high attempt about their country, it's what we name "La Grandeur". I'm not sure how to translate this concept in english... I'm not sure how i can explain it too... I think it's kind of seeking perfection everytime everywhere... Culture, economy, diplomacy, manners, ethics, philosophy and so on... We're always pessimist because we can't settle for what we have in regards of our great expectations.

Raaah, l'autre jour on a acheté un paquet de clopes avec mon pote, alors déjà c'est hors de prix le tabac, mais il a pris 11 cigarrettes dans le paquet et moi j'en ai eu que 9, alors qu'on avait fait 50-50 sur le prix 😠 .

I am full blooded french person born in the states. My family comes from different French regions. Both are similar in some ways but very much opposite in other ways. Everything you say in all your videos reflect on one side of my family or the other, sometimes in a little of both sides. I find this very interesting. On one side of the family they are very quiet non associative in the public eye. At home they warm up but are still quiet in demeanor. The other side... they are boisterous, fun, comedic, musical.. Just a blast to be with. (Granted only in the family unit or with close friends they are like this) All the children on both sides are very well behaved and quiet in public especially. Money is not discussed ever on both sides. They are pessimistic personalities on both sides but not heavily in their outlook of life in general. Some complain more than others. Some are very happy and positive and very compassionate. Others don't go out of their own way to help someone. Holidays and birthdays are no big deal and minimally celebrated if at all. With the exception of Christmas and Easter which are big to dos...and in the states adopting thanksgiving as a great day for the whole family to gather and have lots of food, desserts, and lots of wine. So I think I have a bit of all flavors of the French social and cultural norms in my family. Including the quenooks. Just a melting pot of French goodness over Here! 😁 I will say the family bonds are strong though... that to me is very precious!❤❤❤

Hi, I just discovered your channel. Very interesting as a french working in an international organisation for 1 year. Concerning the french relationship with queuing, did you notice, as Stephen Clarke describes in his book A year in the merde, that we don’t complain in a bakery?

Pour le troisième point, tout est résumé dans le sketch de Muriel Robin (ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-e-MBjjlt9g4.html) 😜

What I hated the most about the French was the know it all attitude, even when they obviously had no idea what they're talking about. Also the school system was absolutely terrible, I felt like I was in a jail and so inferior to all the big adults who could get you in trouble for literally anything if they wanted to and demanded respect at all times as if they deserved it.

I love practicing my English by watching your videos ! And it's quite funny to see your point of view about French people! I agree and as you are, I still don't understand some points. That makes me wondering if I really am French...^^'

That was a great video ! like others ! I'm French and I'm really interested by learning your opinion about these 3 points ! But honestly, I think you're ok on main lines with our culture... but reality's often more complicated than it. You have to live in France (out of Paris), even if it's a city (like Nantes, Lyon, Bordeaux...etc.) And you will learn so much more about these points. And you'll be very surprised by differencies between our life styles. I actually know so much people in France who could definitely not live in Paris. Trust me and try it.. You will discover another France !

"Complaining is a national sport here" Yep. Totally true. And all the exemples you're saying - I'm guilty of using them all the time ! + The educational system here is awfull. I mean, it's not great everywhere, but I think France isn't the best. And we don't have any kind of faith in our politics. The smoking - I never quite understood it either. Both my parents were smokers, and they've always told me how "bad" it was to smoke, and I never touched a cigarette until I was eighteen, and even now I only smoke once a month or even less. It breaks my heart when I see very young people smoke. I didn't notice we ad such an issue with money... I now, personally, that I don't have a lot to spend so I keep every cent I can to help me live ^^ Anyway I love your channel, I just found you and I'm binge watching everything ! Keep up the good work :)

Ce truc de diviser l'addition en fonction de ce qu'on a consommé, je n'ai vu ça qu'à Paris pour l'instant ... de la région d'où je viens, c'est au contraire mal vu et chacun veut payer pour tous les autres; -souvent dans l'excès inverse d'ailleurs-. Sinon j'ai trouvé très intéressant l'étude sur le pessimisme français; si je peux me permettre une réflexion à ce sujet, je pense que cela est dû, peut-être, en partie au fait que la France a été puissante et rayonnante, et qu'elle a perdu de sa superbe. Une dégradation très mal vécue par l'imaginaire français, à mon avis. Il y a un étrange rapport d'amour-haine entre les français et la France, entre les français eux-mêmes d'ailleurs, qui ne se supportent pas les uns les autres... Et il est très probable que l'école n'y soit pas pour rien, étant donné que l'école française est très normative, humiliante, violente socialement... Bref. Après, la déprime a ses bons côtés: elle fait des gens contemplatifs et doués pour l'introspection .........

I just fell in love with you complaining in french, "Il y avait du monde, mais un monde !"

Ravi de faire vôtre connaissance ! Happy to meet you !

les français fument *à cause* de leur pessimisme! :D je blague mais on est aussi parmi les plus gros consommateurs d'antidépresseurs au monde, donc ya peut-être quelque chose à creuser... personnellement je n'ai jamais fumé, je n'ai jamais eu envie de fumer, et je n'aime pas devoir respirer la fumée de cigarette de personnes fumant autour de moi.

I'm impressed, really! Your analysis is so right, so straight to the point! point 1- I think you right, our country (education, government, administration, and tv) is clearly pushing in this idea of criticism and see the dark side and what's wrong... building brain, and our way of seeing life under a pessimistic angle well, you know what to do ... escape before depression's coming !!!

À RU-vidr who did her research. I loved to comparative figures and Happiness facts. Well done!

You make good points. About complaining : I think complaining is a way to relate to others and to fill space in a conversation. It seems paradoxal but it's kind of polite. By complaining, you show to the other that your life isn't as good as he/she could think, so you don't make him/her jealous. This comes from our very individualistic education. It is very competitive. We don't learn to work in teams. Thus, we often have mixed feelings when someone tells good news about success or last trip. Even worse : if you tell someone he/she has no reason to complain, it could even be seen as patronizing. I think we need to change education to make it more cooperative and less individualistic. About smoking : you didn't tell that there are even more smokers among women. Seems there is a strong cultural relationship between emancipation and smoking. And because there are so many women working in France, but minds haven't evolved at the same pace, a lot a women start to smoke, to feel more confident. About money : I have no difficulty to tell what I earn, and what I pay (for rent, insurance, etc), but I often get weird looks or vague answers when I ask to others. I think there would be less complaining it there was more transparency in that field. The "splitting or paying each one's due" is a big debate even in France. Check out "L'addition", comic sketch by Muriel Robin ;). I have some friends who are heavy drinkers, I'm not. So I tend not to want to split when I'm with them, because it would be always at my disavantage. But with some other friends it would be possible.

We just need more hugs :(

You are right about the pessimism. I noticed it a bit as well, and even more so here in the US with my french ex-in laws. Let's not kid ourselves France is going through some changes and they are NOT good. Can you really travel ANYWHERE you want to in Paris? No, you know there are sections where your "type" are not welcomed and you wont last 5 minutes. This was not the case during my time in France on the early 90s. I haven't been back enough to experience it myself as my last vist was in 2008 and I got out of Paris quite rapidly. The money thing? I don't remember that being parculiar but then again you are a VERY observant person, much more so than me, and besides some of the time I was there my back was to the wall trying to find work and living in a not so agreeable situation. I think your situation allows you less stress and more therefore your senses are more aware of these differences. Your keen sense of these things I find very interesting... Keep up the great work!

I am francophone from Québec Canada. A common expression about money is "les bons comptes font les bons amis" literaly translating to : "good accompts make good friends". So in order to keep a good relationship over time it's better to pay exactly what you owe and accept payments for something owed to you.

I am french and have experienced this too: when I display too much optimism or joy, people would think I am a weirdo. I don't really know why. On the other hand I find some of them really boring 😂

I think that we French are pessimistic bc we tend to be perfectionist as a whole and will not be satisfied as long as we solved everything

to say "it's cheap" we say "c'est donné" (that's given) which not means that it's free !

I am a french girl who lived in NZ for 8 months and also in Spain for 2 years and a half and I have exactly the same opinion about the 3 bizarre things you mentioned. I even tried to explain why we don't have the equivalent of "cheap" and maybe your explanation is the right one ! Thanks for your videos ! I really miss NZ by the way :)

Good choice of topics. As a local, I agree with all your observations. It would be nice if you gave a link to this researcher's work in the description. My (former) South African girlfriend was absolutely pissed when I wanted to split the bill to the cent. I learned diplomacy with her. Funny how cultures can be different. I never tried to explain it, but your theory about égalité is very interesting. I don't know how much my closest friends make but I am pretty sure about the ballpark (and we all know). I think taking about it would bring resentment or bitterness, so there's not much to gain here.

Pour ma part, les ados commencent à fumer pour se donner un genre devant leurs amis du style "je fume, je suis un caïd" Concernant la note à la fin d'un restaurant, ça dépend avec qui je mange. Si le mec se prend une bouteille de vin à 20€ et qui est le seul à la boire, effectivement je ne partage pas. Par contre si tout le monde à pris un verre et un menu, on divise la note par rapport au nombre de personne.

Complaining is a national sport!? The Germans do better, trust me.. ;D

C’est une très bonne analyse de notre société française, bravo! Surtout en ce qui concerne le pessimisme et la difficulté à ressentir du bonheur, en lien avec notre système d’éducation trop négatif, c’est un problème profond qui se transmet de génération en génération 😢 j’espère que ça changera. Encore bravo pour ton regard affûté! 👍

I laughed when you spoke of your colleague who would make a fuss and mutter to herself, because after I returned home from living in France I would always find myself doing that (in French too) while doing normal tasks.. I don’t do it anymore but I can definitely see it as a French thing that I absorbed while there.