3 things to NEVER do with your loved one with dementia 

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I'm a caregiver in an aged care facility. After decades working in corporate communications, sitting at a computer all day with zero job satisfaction, I CHOSE this work as I've always had an affinity with the elderly and needed to do something real that truly mattered. Working with people with dementia at all stages is so incredibly rewarding for me. I also get to be creative and 'play act' when participating with my clients delusions. And the relief they exhibit when I'm able to solve their problem (imaginary but very real to them) is wonderful. To see the agitation and stress leave them once I've managed to 'get the horse on the trailer' or ''get the burglar arrested' is wonderful. One client is stuck in a loop of waiting for a taxi to take her to the airport, so every day I tell her that unfortunately her flight has been canceled but we have a lovely room for her free of charge and it even comes with a complimentary breakfast 😉. She heaves a big sigh of relief and gratitude and for a while is content rather than distressed. Each work shift brings priceless moments for me personally and I love it when I get a lucid response from someone who is usually 'not there' - the song 'how much is that doggie in the window' always gets a 'woof woof'! It's a ghastly disease and especially distressing for the family to witness their loved one gradually disappear and become someone they don't recognise. Much love to all who are on this journey xo

My mother had Parkinson’s and related dementia...I became the queen of improvisation! What ever my mom tossed our there is what I ran with....I saw so many people at the nursing home arguing and trying to reason with their loved ones....more often than not the stuff my mom came up with was hilarious ...I never laughed at her in a way that would embarrass her but I would be howling on the inside. I would just try and jump in the conversation and be in her world and reality .....an example, one day I was leaving the nursing home after my second visit of the day. As I approached the door she said to me “ well you know I’ve been shot”....I turned back and said to her “ oh mother I am so sorry I did not know you had been shot,when did it happen?” She replied “ well one day the neighbors were shooting at your father and I took a bullet to my arm.” I said to her that was really awful and again I was so sorry that she had been shot. She then told me as she pulled up her sleeve and pointed to a place on her arm that she had taken a bullet to her there too but she thought it was gonna work it’s way out. I told her how happy I was that the second bullet was not going to have to be removed surgically because that would be a real hassle and painful and she agreed and was satisfied. Mush easier experience than saying no you have not been shot! She seemed to have enjoyed telling the story too. I was dying laughing on the inside. One day she told me my brother was at dining room at lunch . He had been dead a number of years....I promptly asked her where was he now because he owed me 20 dollars and I really could use the cash. She said she didn’t know but he had on an izod shirt. This is really good info. Good luck to all y’all out there dealing with this ...remember ..one day at a time.

I was working as private Caregiver, specially trained in Alzheimer's and Dementia Care. I had to quit my job and get a bigger place so my boyfriend and I could move in together to care for my own mother with Dementia. I had a baby monitor so I could hear if she needed help in the night. I heard her get up, lights were on and I got up to find her dressed looking for her suitcase. When I asked what she was doing she said that her sister and her sister's husband were picking her up and they were driving back to San Diego(we were living in Texas). I said, "Mama, I'll stay up and let them in. You go back to sleep. In the morning I'll make waffles for everyone." She was thrilled, and went back to bed. Nothing was mentioned the following morning of course.

I lost my father to Lewy Body Dementia. I was astounded at the way my father was treated and spoken to by my siblings. My father was a gentleman and remained so through his sickness. He showed no signs of hostility or anger and was really quite entertaining during his decline. I am no expert but it didn't take long to see that my siblings speaking like he wasn't there or constantly yelling at him like he could control his memory, wasn't having a positive effect for anybody. I ended up moving in with him temporarily as a caretaker and enjoyed the time spent in his past life. When he was in his early teens, I just engaged him in conversation of his address and what he liked to do. It was an incredibly sad yet positive experience for me and a non-confrontational one for him. We had a great time and I saw a side of him I never knew. Please treat your affected relatives with the respect they deserve. Their mindset is not theirs to control. They are still a person and one that can feel the harshness of unkind words. Patience!

Another tip: do not play guessing games like asking them "Do you know who I am?" That only frustrates and embarrasses them. Always just introduce yourself and others as you approach. You can see the relief in their faces when you do.

Losing my mom to dementia was the most devastating thing in my life. God bless all who are suffering.

I cared for my grandmother for many years before she passed away from Alzheimer's and extreme old age while in hospital care. It was terrible watching her fade away inch by inch for days, years. I loved her very much. She still remembered who I was. I would like to think I've gotten over it, but it truly wiped me out emotionally, physically, and financially. I miss her. Both my parents passed away before she did. I know how very hard it is to be a caregiver for a loved one. I try not to let it get to me, and mostly I've moved on, but it changed me. I don't think we can cure or reverse all the effects of aging, bt I wish we had a way to minimize the mental decline. My heart goes out to those dealing with this.

My grandma had Alzheimer's from age 75ish to her death at 85. She refused to retire and when forced to, it infuriated her. She would clean and work around the house repeatedly all day, and break out and wonder into the woods. In the last few months of her life her mind had become a complete void and she stayed in bed, her hands and face became soft for the first time since she was a little kid. I miss her, she worked harder than anyone else I know. Those last 10 years were very hard to watch.

Never talk about the dementia patient as if they are not there, try not to get upset or raise your voice if talking to others in the room they can pick up on that anxiety or anger and start acting out, never ignore modesty, a dementia patient may still feel uncomfortable bathing, getting dressed etc in front of others. Never parrot commands over and over, get up, its time to get up, dont u want to get up, it is very confusing to him/her. Never scold a dementia patient. Bottom line put yourself in their shoes, how would you want someone to care for you. Compassion, caring, being kind and understanding. Thats the ticket. ❤

my mommy has a dementia she was 78 turning 79 nxt yr. i'm sad bec. i saw her struggling everyday of her life , change her mentally , physically , and emotionally. i love my mommy and i'll always pray to god to give me strength for my mommy bec. she is all i have and i hope someday she will remember me as her daughter.......love you mommy , i miss you so much!!!

Thank you. My husband had severe vascular dementia resulting from a stroke. He passed away four years ago. Some things I did well, and others I didn't. I hope this helps people still in the caregiving stages. Living with dementia is so hard, and living with someone who has dementia is equally hard. I love him now and I loved him then.

"It's not about making sense in YOUR world, but making sense in THEIR world."

patience. diversion. calm. encourage humor. affection.

It's not about winning. Try to resist being right. Adjust to their patterns.

My uncle was in my care after his wife passed away. His favorite story was when he hitchhiked from Oklahoma to Los Angeles with a friend right out of high school. In his mind I was that friend even though I would have been two years old at the time. After correcting him several times I decided to just go with the flow and I heard some amazing stories of “our” adventure. The stories were often repeated and I enjoyed them and remember them fondly.

When my dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s I got a book for my mom “When the day has 36 Hours”, at first my mom was in denial, but soon she had to accept it and the book was very helpful for her. She was an amazing caregiver for my dad for five years, day and night in their home. What a blessing for my dad (he even died in her arms, she singing to him lullabies, he passed peacefully) and for her, a challenge of love and patience but very rewarding, and for her children an example of what real love is all about. She passed peacefully seven years later in my house. 🙏♥️🙏

"It's not about making sense in your world, it's about making sense in their world." This one sentence rings so true with me. I will absolutely be keeping this in mind as I deal with my Mom who is in the moderate stages of vascular dementia. Thank you so much for making this video. It helped me immensely.

Good advice. Thank you. I took care of a little lady for 7 years and she was more confused than anything. Sometimes if she didn't recognize me I would step away And brush my hair back or something and start again. Usually she would remember that I was there to care for her. She was the sweetest lady i have ever known and i feel fortunate that i was there with her.

What makes this so hard for me is that my mom is a narcissist, and I’ve grown up being gaslit by her. It’s tough trying to takes these tips without feeling like I’m accepting my defeat, all because she can “get away with it” now that she doesn’t realize she’s doing it even more.

We’re in the stage where he senses his confusion and continuously asks for orientation...like, ‘do I still go to work?’ Do I have children? But when he hallucinated a policeman at the foot of his bed, I accepted it as his reality and just said that if he comes back to let me know. My process is listen with the honest attitude and respect I give to everyone, accept his point of view as being his truth and reality and give the answer I know he he needs at that moment...often all he is seeking is loving reassurance that all is okay in the world. I seek to create peace, comfort and joy in the present life we have together, and for the most part it works very well - your video is spot on. Thank you.

When I worked as a caregiver for dementia residents, I got two kinds of paychecks. One was the money, and two was a big stretch in learning patience

I live in a nursing home surrounded by many patients with dementia and you are helping me greatly. Thank you so much ❤

Thanks for your support and help, I find your words very comforting, as I am in the early stages of dementia myself. One of my daughters does those things you spoke about in your programme. I know she loves me and gets upset when she upsets me by frequently telling me I'm wrong about things, present or past, so I try to say as little as possible and agree with whatever she says, makes me feel like an idiot. My other two daughters treat me in a very normal way and we can have discussions on many matters. I know I'm not stupid, but I also know I can be quite forgetful, especially when trying to explain something but am unable to remember the word I'm looking for. My one hope is that I won't end up in a nursing home, something l dread. I hope I will have left the world by that stage. Thank you so much for allowing me this time to say how I feel, and thank you for this opportunity. Sincerely, Miriam

Watching this 9 years after losing my dad, is, sort of pointless, but now, I feel I've the confidence to volunteer my local community and hopefully give sufferers a better quality life. I only wish I could have done more at the time for my dad, xxx

Unfortunately, I do all of these with my mother on a daily. This helped me to understand the seriousness of my mother's illness. This journey has been the most frustrating.

Mom lives with me since I've retired. She is 93 and has Dementia. I realize now why we don't get along that well, which we never did, actually. I am doing all these things wrong. I can't get it through my head that mom can't understand anything anymore. I will try to change my way of dealing with and caring for mom. Thank you!

Lost my mom yesterday to Lewy Body Dementia... thank you for all the support that I've garnered from your videos.

“Compassionate deception” is what the director of my mom’s memory care facility calls it. It works! And it sounds nicer than “lying”. ☺️

This reminds me of a patient I had several years ago. I work as an ER doc. I went into a room with a women who had dementia. Her family brought her in for some reason I can’t remember. We were busy and it took a while for me to get to her. When I got there, I introduced myself. She responded by chastising me about missing MY party. I realized she was “stuck” at a specific time in her life. I spent a few minutes with her “at the party” and got as much as much information as I could about her symptoms. The family was furious. They wanted me “to correct her”. I’ve seen demented patients who were fearful. I’ve seen demented patients who were aggressive. I told this family that their family member was at a party and they should be happy that she wasn’t stuck in some situation that was uncomfortable for her.

So my mother has been diagnosed with dementia almost 7 yrs ago. Unable to give the proper care at home she now resides in a nursing home. Due to the pandemic we are no longer able to visit face to face. This has made missing her that much harder. Anybody else who is dealing with this I pray for Patience, Grace and,, Strength .✌

My mom's on what I refer to as a 3 minute loop. Every 3 minutes she'll repeat what she's said previously. Some days it drives me up a wall... other days I try to have fun with it. I always try to remind myself that if it's frustrating for me... it must be waaay more frustrating for her!

My Grandmother worked with Dementia patients and would often see them asking for their deceased husbands/wives. Their family members would often tell them the truth about them passing away, and it would devastate them all over again. My nan always tried to change that by asking family members to tell them they were out doing something, for example; “he’s sneaked out to the pub again, you should tell him off when he gets back!”. It’s so much easier on their mental well-being, and a humorous way to engage them in conversation.

When I was in nursing school in the 1980s they encouraged reality orientation to folks with dementia..i always disagreed with the practice..when a woman asked me daily where her husband was I just told her he was out plowing the fields and would be back for supper..she relaxed..others would tell her her husband had died so the woman was crying and tormented daily..my advise..just go with the flow..

My mom had Alzheimer’s. I got to the point of calling her by her name because, in her mind, she was too young to have children. I stopped calling her mom.

I've followed the advice of not arguing or needlessly correcting my 90 year old mother and our relationship is much more positive. Thanks Dr. Natalie you've been a great support.

My parents passed away a while ago, but didn't have dementia. But I lived home and was the only caregiver of my mother. While I don't know what it's like to have a loved one with dementia, I do know that it is much more difficult for the person who actually lives with the person suffering with it. My experience taught me that I took on too much and should have asked for more help. Good advice - not to argue with them, remain loving and patient. Thanks for the video.

Totally needed to hear this today. It’s soooo hard to not try to reason with them. Thanks for the short and to the point video with tips and example situations!

A good tip. "Sentry" motion detector, amazon, $16.00, 80' range. Our mother would do the silent midnight sneak. Our room was close, but she was a ninja. You can imagine the trouble a dementia patient can get into within minutes. The motion detector placed on the floor by the bed alerts the caretaker immediately. Works on sneaky teens too.

Thank you everyone for sharing your experience. Your comments not only bring me solace but your suggestions are super helpful at this phase I'm in. Mom hasn't been diagnosed, but after watching several RU-vid videos by medical professionals she definitely has mild to moderate dementia. I have been so stressed out and angry about how my mom has been behaving towards me for years. She's accused me of stealing and now she's accusing the neighbors of trying to break into her house. Every day "they" apparently are trying to break in and there's no sign of forced entry. She's hallucinating and when I argue with her she gets so upset that I don't believe her. I know now not to do that. I am the only child and my mother is so antagonistic she does not get along with her siblings, so I'm on my own dealing with her day-to-day needs and wants.

This is absolutely right. I figured this out with my father and for his comfort and mine, I stopped arguing, correcting or reasoning with him and he was much happier. It was easy to redirect the conversation with offers of tea and cookies or looking at photographs.

Very hard to watch someone you love start losing their memory to the point they do not know you and are talking to dead friends and relatives! It becomes like a person wanting to go home and they think you are stopping them!

Please do a video on this if you haven’t already. I have just started watching them. Do not take on trips to unfamiliar places. We lived in a town while I was growing up for over 25 years. The church we were very active in had a reunion, and we thought it would be fun for mama (88 years old) to go and see people she used to know so well. WRONG! We have lived in our current town for 27 years. The trip to our former church might have just as well been a time tunnel trip into the past that my mom may never recover from. She thought she was suddenly in her childhood town and church. She now has no memory of the place she lived for the past 27 years. She “was” maintaining well enough to function by herself with me spending a few hours with her every day. Since that trip, we had to immediately move her in with us because she started packing to go home to her childhood home and didn’t know where she was anymore. Even at our house, she still thinks she is back in her childhood town. Wish we could take that day of the reunion trip back!

If my dad tells me the same thing for the 25th time, I just pretend it’s the first time I’ve heard it.

Absolutely. They aren’t trying to be difficult. They can’t have discussions. They are like toddlers. Agree, go with it or comfort. Love them💜

Thank you so much. I'm dealing with my father with Dementia I need to have patience. I ask God to help me handle him is not easy

Hello, My Mom recently and quickly moved into dementia. I’m daughter One and I’m tasked with being her caregiver. Your videos have been so very helpful! Really helps my anxiety level! Thank you for what you are doing!

I have the beginning stages of dementia, there's time when I don't remember what I ate for breakfast. My husband is having a real hard time with this, he's always getting upset with me and races his voice and sometimes even been yelled at. We have been married for 29 years and he never got yelled at me before. I'm a retired nurse and I'm having a hard time dealing with me and my memory. I also have the beginning stages of Parkenson' Thank you for sharing those 3 tips.

Thanks for the tips, spot on. My Dad had Dementia from over 40 concussions in the NFL. I did everything wrong that you mentioned in the beginning of his downfall. After a while I realized it was pointless and started to make every communication as pleasing as I possibly could. I knew he was suffering and just wanted to make his life easy.

I lived in my moms reality for the last three months of her life. Not such a bad place if you have a sense of humor. I do remember getting mad at her one night, the only time I raised my voice to her. She had fire in her eyes and was extremely combative. I had a lightbulb go off in my head at that moment. She was scared and confused , it wasn't her fault . I apologized and told her I understood how difficult it was for her and ,in that moment, she calmed down completely. When you can try and see through their eyes how confusing their world must be, hopefully you'll have more compassion and above all patience.

My mum used to be so proud to announce to all her fellow residents in the care home that 'that's my daughter _ _ _ ' 😃 it always made me smile. Never use the words 'I don't know' when they have lost something.. they *know* they have a deficit and rely on you to fill in the gaps that make them scared. Say instead 'come with me and we'll find it'.. by the time you walk 10 paces they will have forgotten what was lost coz you made them relax.. I called it 'playing their game' .. like you said, reasoning is less than useless.

This is my first Dementia Careblazers video. That was great advice! Your recommendations made a lot of sense. I remember my mom when she was living with dementia, and it didn't matter how many times she told the same story "for the first time". We still listened and responded with respect, and gave her the dignity she deserved. Now my sister is taking care of her husband, who is in the early stages of dementia. I will recommend your channel to her.

I made a playlist of songs from the 50s for my MWA. She has a beautiful voice (even at 92) and started singing and knew every word.

It’s extremely hard when your loved one can’t hear very well! Good advice though!

I learned to lie a lot. Old farmer friend of my was in the nursing home, he'd tell me his truck had a flat tire (he hadn't been around no truck) I'd say " you probably ran over a thorn or picked up a nail" We'd go into all kind of directions on conversation. Dignity is one thing they still feel and recognize. Just roll with it.

This woman is so intelligent, My mom suffered for years with Alzheimers, my father and I and a wonderful caretaker and my sister took wonderful care of my Mother, Mildred.

My mom suffers from dementia. These videos are an answer to several of my prayers. Thank you for this.

This information is so helpful. I'm new. My Mom is 92 and is suffering from dementia. I'm scared because I'm an only child and I don't have any caregiving help because of the coronavirus pandemic. I've been in denial about all of her actions for about the past year but nope, it's dementia. I'm so frustrated and tired but I guess I have to learn how to cope and keep on keeping on.

Im a CNA in a senior behavioral unit (SBU). I use these approaches regularly with my group of 15 to 20 patients. These approaches work wonders. I have also noticed that patients will go to the CNA that is the most kind and respectful toward them. If one of the other CNAs tends to raise their voice or disagree with the patient, they tend to avoid that CNA and come to me to solve their problem. These approaches are especially critical during sundowning periods.

I used these procedures 25 years ago when my Dad was dying of cancer. To feel HOPE, He always said...."When I get better..." and I ALWAYS went along with His Dreams!!!!! I WAS Glad to Keep Him Calm & HAPPY during His Final Time Of Life!!! HE DIED HOLDING ONTO HIS DREAMS!!!!!

God Bless all of you and grant you the patience necessary to care for those you love.

PS: thank you dementia careblazers. I love your education that has helped me even further to take care of mom and dad. I failed to mention in my last post, my great grandpa on dad’s side had Alzheimer’s. I was about 9 when he went to the nursing home. When we went to visit him, I saw the confusion on his face about why all these strangers had just walked into his room. My uncle would always say, “Hi grandpa! Its me Danny,….” Then he proceeded to introduce all of us, every visit. That seemed to help grandpa a lot. I cry when I think about the day my mom will forget I’m her daughter…. Do you have any tips on how care givers can cope with that emotionally??

Thanks. I will stop trying to reason with mom. Good advice.

Her last statement before the recap is everything “in a nutshell” on dealing with a person with dementia. They can’t be in your world anymore. You must be in theirs.

I am currently taking care of my brother who is 6 years younger than myself he is 74, he not only has dementia but he is Down syndrome,. I have taken care of him most of my life and now it's becoming a little more difficult, when people remark about me taking care of him I told him about the old song He Ain't Heavy He's My Brother. I thank God that I am 80 and still able to do this. This information is very very valuable thank you

This is fantastic, thank you. My wife has FTD and I have old habits of arguing and correcting that I really have to work on. Sometimes I will try too hard to give her accurate information in an argumentative way when, as you point out, it would be better just to act agreeable and soothing. I think we tend to feel that we are being condescending and treating them like a child when we just agree with whatever they're saying.

“Therapeutic lies” is what I was told by my Mum’s carers. It can be hard to do but it makes everyone’s life easier

I found this video very helpful. I was finding myself lying to my mom to make things easier. She didn't want to give up her driver's license, even though she had gotten an ID card. I told her it was against the law for her to keep her driver's license, and she became willing to give it up. I like your example of saying 'I called the police and they caught the person'.

These tips are very good. When my mom had dementia had someone coach me on how to deal with dementia and gave me these same tips. When I followed this advice visits went so much better. It made a huge difference I tried so hard to keep her in reality, I didn’t want to loose her. But as you know, that doesn’t work. And had to enter her reality.

I work in aged care and I fully agree with you. There is no point in creating upset within a person who is suffering from Dementia. I have one beautiful woman in my care who tells people that she and I went to school together from the time we were 7. I don't argue, I just smile. If it makes her happy, then that is all that matters. In one sense, I see it as a compliment, because it means that she feels safe and comfortable in my familiar company. I've encountered people who don't understand dementia, and who will constantly try to bring their loved one who has dementia into their world .. rather than working with the world the person (with dementia)lives in. All that comes from that is frustration. Thank you for educating people :)

I totally agree! When my dad had dementia near the end, he would often talk about going to visit his parents or his siblings, all of whom were dead. He’d also want to go to their place in Florida, where it was warm. He hated the cold Michigan winters! When it became obvious that he was declining, I talked to my mother into staying up in Michigan where most of my siblings lived. I reminded her that none of us lived down there, and if something ever happened we would only be able to go for a short periods of time, as we all have jobs. Thankfully, she took my advice, but she was constantly arguing with my father when he’d want to see people that were no longer alive, or want to go to work or someplace else that he couldn’t go, like Florida. It was very frustrating for the both of them, and hard for me to watch. I finally explained to my mother, that she just needs to go along with what he is saying. There’s no point in trying to use logic on somebody who cannot think logically anymore. I told her to tell him things like “sure, we’ll will go to Florida on Tuesday”. -or- “ yes, it would be good to go see your brother Joe, let’s do that on Friday!” -Because, in 20 minutes or 40 minutes, he’s going to forget that the conversation even happened, totally reboot and want to do the same thing again or something similar.” This way, he is always happy and satisfied, & nobody gets frustrated and upset. Thankfully, she took my advice, and things went so much better. For the longest time, she was in full denial that he even had dementia. The whole process of losing Dad, was very hard on her. She’s about to turn 90 now, and doing pretty darned well!

the best advice I got early on was from mom's physical therapist:"meet them where they're at" as an RN I was doing reality orientation,ect textbook care from nurses training at the time. It was wearing me out .he echoed what you are saying about making sense in their world. I tried it. My mom calmed down and I was a lot less stressed in our communication for what turned out to be an 8 year journey,she died in the nursing home at 91 yrs old." It was the best of times, it was the worst of times ".

My goodness. I can’t thank you enough. My wife and I are going through this right now with our mothers. Your advice is so helpful. Again, thank you.

Great video. Thank you from a retired geriatric psychiatrist.

What I hate most is people telling me , you have told me that many times, or you just forget when I do not, I don't forget everything

Agree with not arguing. Have a loved one in a nursing home who tells everyone he has been there for less than a year... He has been saying that at the last three or four Christmas parties.

lost my mom in 2017 ,95 years old with dementia sometimes she thought i was her husband who passed away in 1982 and other times her brother also gone, i just went along with whoever she thought i was. but a few hours before she passed away she called me by my name and pulled me to her and gave me a kiss on my jaw. i was happy she knew me again before she passed away. she had good days and bad days with this dementia it was so hard to see her go thru this !!!

WoW! Your message makes sooo much sense, but without seeing this video we would all think to say the things that would sound correctly, but truly isn't. Will definitely be sharing this GREAT video! Thank You for taking your valuable time out of your life to make this video for us. 👍

Great advise. I love the examples. It is so difficult not to correct and argue, but I like the options of handling it differently! Being told what to do helps.

Thank you for your timely video! I started my journey taking care of seniors independently about 4 years ago while attending seminary. I now work in a senior community-based facility. It has been an amazing journey and have never viewed it as just a job. Rather, it is fascinating with everyday bringing new joy as I care for my peeps in memory care. Your channel just appeared in my stream and I am so grateful. Thnx again.

Smile, be calm, agree, redirect. These tips have helped 100%. Your loved ones will mirror your feelings.

Fantastic presentation. Thank you so much! Actually this works with everyone.

The hardest thing I had to deal with was my mum asking me to take her to see her parents who had died decades ago. I came up with every excuse, they’re taking a few days holiday, they’ve been working so hard, they will be having a sleep, etc. etc. etc. This happened every day until she realised I was stalling her and she got so angry with me and in no uncertain terms told me to go. I was dreading going to see her the following day but when I arrived, she was really pleasant. It was a real rollercoaster.

Four years later and your words are still helping people. Thank you, so much.

You are always spot on, with your advice and timely, not always easy to follow but a blessing for those who listen and follow!

Great video. My mum has early dementia. Most of the time I just say OK. At times I have argued with her when she has accused me of doing something wrong when I hadn't. It comes from being criticised all my life, but that's another story. I don't argue now because I get all worked up and go for a walk until I calm down. When I come back, mum doesn't remember the argument. So, for my peace of mind, I tell her that I'm sorry & I'll do it the right way. Mum's happy & I am calm. Win win situation.

What a compassionate soul. Thanks for the tips. God bless you.

My mum will be moving in with me and my husband in a couple of days, she has dementia. All the stories about your loved ones and the advice will help us a lot in the future, thanks.

Thank you so much! Just found your channel and subscribed! My mom is in moderate stage of dementia. We have always been so close...its the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. Watching the person you love most in this world slip away day by day.

Thank you ! I’m going to use these helpful tips with my mother-in-law. I don’t think she suffers from dementia, but these scenarios ring a bell!

Been a CNA in a nursing home 16 year's, I have seen my people go through hell with this nasty disease, Throughout the year's, I had to learn all this the hard way, but I can work magic with these people after some many year's.

This information is excellent. Thank you for verbalizing some of the most important skills needed dealing with dementia patients.

I am a dementia caregiver. Thank you for showing the 7 stage chart, now I now where Larry is in this disease.

We home cared our mother, after Medicaid turned us away..(we were 'too rich" - mom had $28,000 in the bank, can you believe it?). Anyway, I was retired, (I am 70 now), and my sister moved mom in with her.It became a family affair. True, this decision upended our lives for awhile, but I must say, it was an experience I will always remember. Heartwarming, heartbreaking, scary, infuriating, hysterically funny, sad, deeply intimate, instructional, and life-changing for all of us! I would not have missed it for the world. Mother had mixed senile dementia, not AD, so that meant: she could be cared for at home, since the trajectory of her illness was not as relentless as AD would have been. My sister and I buddied up, worked as a team. My husband pitched in, my niece as well. In the end we got the laundry done, the house tidied, the bills paid and the meals cooked. Mom was reasonably calm, engaged socially, safe, bathed and cleanly dressed. And out of harm's way. She was fine until the very last week, when she could not get out of bed, and stopped eating. We made her comfortable, and obeyed her wishes to allow her to die at home, with the Doctor's ok, that's just what we did. Home care of an elder beloved is not for the faint of heart, I'll grant you. But this four year interval.. forever changed the way I look at life. Moreover, I feel deeply honored that I was able to take part in something so profound and, (ironically) in the final moments, life affirming...

Thank you. Our family needed this information.

Glad to see this video come up, been having trouble finding good resources but this is pretty much the approach i've been taking and it does make a world of difference. I think part of the problem is that people think that dementia is about intelligence, like people suffering from dementia are just losing their intelligence and memory. Instead of realizing that the brain functions are shutting down/breaking apart, which is very scary for those suffering from dementia because they can't understand what is happening to them or why they feel as they feel, because of that severed functionality. They might not be able to piece together the "why", but they still usually understand tone and can tell when someone is looking down on them.

Great video, thanks so much. My mom is in the early stages and it has been very frustrating and has been leading to arguments and I realize now I was still acting as if she wasn't ill.

My mom has signs of dementia, the videos really help me how to deal with my mom. Thank you!

Brand new to this channel but I am looking forward to sharing this video with some families that could really use these tips. I recently started in senior living and it’s the best job I’ve ever had! Thanks for this information in a short simple way.

Thank you so much for the reminders. It’s so easy to get lost in all this.