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My Summary Notes: Active Listening: Active listening is the ability to stay entirely committed and focused on what the speaker is saying, understand their message and the expressive context. 5 Techniques of Active Listening: 1) block out all the distractions. Internal and External (internal: worries, things to do, empty stomach) (external: things around you like noises). Meditation can help with internal distractions. External: make changes to your environment to make it easier to focus. (put your phone on silent, in a cafe face the wall, close blinds if outside is distracting etc.) 2) Develop a "PACE" conversation. - PURPOSE: identify the of the conversation - ASK questions to understand the topic deeper - CONNECT on an empathetic level with the speaker - ENCOURAGE the speaker to feel understood after sharing their input 3) Pay attention to the speaker's content (message) and context (body language: non-verbal). The content's meaning can change based on the body language or tone of voice of the speaker. Also watch your own body language: if you cross your arms or have wandering eyes it shows you are not really listening or interested. Instead nod occasionally, make use of facial expressions, maintain eye contact and say things like hmm, yes. 4) Turn off Your Problem Solving Mode: Try to put off responding to the speaker and wait until they have given their full message 5) Reflect back what you heard. Repeat and Rephrase the speakers content to make sure you have understood the speaker before responding to what he/she said. "Let me see if I got this right. Is this what you meant? What did you mean by __?" Active listening is used to encourage respect and understanding between the participants of any conversation, you gain perspective and information while providing feedback to the speaker. Once you have got the speaker's entire message you will be able to give helpful feedback to them. Be honest, assertive and open with your message but be respectful without attacking. If you do, they will feel more respected and appreciated.
I reflect back, and I ask for clarification when needed, that shows I’m listening. I use the Yes, or I see, Ok, or Hmm. I do try to treat people as I’d like to be treated. That’s been an important part of my career, before I started working on becoming a coach.
This is all so very true! But, I would add acknowledging and validating. An example would be, "It's perfectly understandable why you would feel that way, given your situation." Acknowledge what is said, validate the feeling (and name it) and acknowledge the situation."
Yes Coach, listening is a key in communications, it burst the speaker energy in communicating more with the audience. I think listening keeps the interaction on, because listening brings about understanding of the topic at hand, and understanding brings more questions or contribution, and the whole thing brings about interaction in communication. Thanks Coach
Loved this! Absolutely so so grateful! Gave me more insight on what it means to be a listener and how to do it more effectively. Enjoyed the funny relatable clips too 😂🌺🦋
Excellent training! Thank you! Most of my work is done over the phone, so I don't have the advantage of facial expression or body language. Sometimes I need to ask clarifying questions.
Great problem-solving, Terri! It's always better to ask clarifying questions and rephrasing than to assume. Keep up the good work! Thanks for sharing :)
I have a friend who over does the use of 'uh-huh'.' Sometimes to distraction...like after every sentence..or even interrupting me mid-sentence. It's annoying and tells me she's not really interested in what I'm saying so I usually end the conversation as quickly as possible. And it leaves me with an odd feeling. Next time, I will call her on it and let her know it's okay to let me know she isn't that interested or doesn't have time. 😉
Great insight, Terri! There is definitely a fine line between using and overusing the "uh-huh"s. It's a great tool as long as you make sure the person in front of you feels comfortable with it. In coaching sessions, you can ensure you don't overuse it by rephrasing what your client said (so they understand you were paying attention) or just ask them if they feel uncomfortable with it. The same should apply in everyday conversation. Positive feedback allows us to grow :) Thanks for sharing.
Wondering if I can use wheel of life in team coaching to evaluate what each member is thinking in regards to the existing goals of team and what’s the gap
That's a great question, Richard! Here are some ideas on how you can make it work: 1. If possible, ask those around you to please keep it down for X minutes for you. 2. Move to a silent area or another room, if possible. 3. Try putting on noise cancelling headphones. 4. When starting your meditation, acknowledge all the noises around you. Make them part of the meditation instead of trying to shut them out. It's all about testing and finding what works for you. Hope this helps ❤
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