5 Questions a Narcissist CANNOT Answer 

Sir, can u put a video on how to manage with narcissist boss ?

Thank you, DR. Bashir for your insightful and kind discourse regarding the Narcissist. One way to perceive the Narcissist would be to embed them within Stoic Principles, to regulate their toxic self-expressions within our mental framework. I mention this because of the nature of the unhealthy relationships Narcissistic individuals present to society, it is important to affirm a strategy to thrive despite the Narcissist and their cycles of abuse.

@@arvinduniyal1901find your. Self a new job before he drive you crazy

as well, a "public" partner or someone to be seen with that helps them appear "presentable"......a facade. whatever it is they want who they are appearing in front of, that appeals to that desired effect. I have known men and women like this. both wanted "a partner" to show the world that they were "normal" and that "they have someone" but they do not love honestly.

​@caroleminke6116 agreed. narcissists no matter what age have the emotional maturity of a toddler. -cheers, steven

​@@JustMe-uu3bhto your point, narcissists care about image far more than character. -cheers, steven

it needs to serve whatever it is they think will be "acceptable" to whoever they want to impress, image not substance, rules. I agree. they hate to be exposed. God bless you.......@@carparthero

​@JustMe-uu3bh to your point, narcissists fear being exposed and getting abandoned the most. -cheers, steven

My ex-wife, who I just divorced two days ago, said these things to me. Especially that I need mental help.

This!! My baby daddy said this to me last week

the worst thing is that they DO NOT want to face their own image and of who they are - this is why they project onto you, they hate who they are, they know they are not wanted nor loved nor clean or God loving but pretend to be so they appear "acceptable" so will instead focus on YOU as the "problem". it's delusional and they lie to themselves....so afraid of seeing themselves....................so they project everything onto you........

Yes. That’s my mom 100%. She doesn’t like when I have my own views & opinions. It’s weird. 😐🥴

Having difference of opinion is natural - what causes issue is people not being upfront and compromising on each others weaknesses.

Oh my gosh, I need to make that my mantra

You cannot disagree with them

If so, then you are allowing them to control you by using your fear of that they may rage fit on you. You really okay with that?

@safeeffective385 When it's a parent, yes, you don't poke the bear. As an adult, I have zero tolerance. The bear can suck my farts.

@@LiminalDrag Narcy's love to use that "don't make Grandma (or whoever) angry!" silliness as a form of control. There is no such thing as someone "making"/causing us to be angry. Anyone that suggests otherwise is using that as emotional abuse/controlling behavior over someone. Anger is a secondary emotion, typically comprised of fear, sadness, embarrassment, rejection, frustration, envy, and so on. These feelings are 100% on whoever owns them, and have nothing at all to do with the "target" of their anger or whatever. I get it that many people are conditioned to believe otherwise.

Just say what time you finish being a volunteer & you want to hang around to see the beautiful animals & go on a few rides, I went on 1 & still did it when they had a crazy attack & went off! I was told too that selfies bad God doesn't like it, stop doing it. I've done about 7 since then. He doesn't like photos & he said angrily fuck fb delete it! I said you delete it! He said he just plays a bit of poker. A bit 😂😂all day & even with the ph in his lap at church the whole time! & I say how a friend is going to the show, does lots of fun stuff, what she wants. He said if she stood on the corner & sells herself would you do it?! That's sick & I felt annoyed & tense it was late. Probably thought I wouldn't go 😂 but I didn't eat all day :( regret not getting myself a chips on stick & a nice treat, 1 off & bubble tea

@@19783008ful That's what's up!

Same happened with my story, her dad left her family because of his alcoholism. And every men became a threat to her, it was miracle that we connected and i thought that we had pure and lovely relationship. When actually in the end she projected her dad onto me for resentment and finally depersonalized and discarded me. Several months after I still cant recover from it and totally destroyed, isolated and became homeseater.

But still feel all feelings and still love her with a hope that she could find happiness and understanding for her trauma. What a fool I am. Still in rumination always about everything and self-doubts.

Your not a fool just someone who can love..narcissists can’t love they are too self absorbed to care about other people..learn to love and respect yourself ..we all deserve to be loved back..🙏♥️

Yep, when my now ex covert would say “I’m sorry “ I would ask why are you sorry ? She could never answer why

When they know YOU know they can't weasel out of this one, they say I'm Sorry but its so flat, so empty, so perfunctory it sounds bland, insincere Bcuz it is. Actions speak louder than words and soon you will SEE they never back up their get out of jail free cards 👀 They're just blowing smoke 💨 poof gone 🤨 apology evaporates into thin air 💬

Mine would defend vigorously that she didn't feel the need to apologize. If I did get an apology it would involve a way to make it seem like it was forced. Crazy.

They say sorry all the time but they never change their behavior

Thank you 🙌🙌🙌

Nicely done. Only thing left is timestamps

"I don't love you - I love you loving ME" would be the proper answer 🙄

If they do its always something tied right back to them."You make me feel great, you're always there for me, you've never let me down."

Love isn't about lists of reasons. It's not an end product of certain acts and qualities. Narcissists themselves usually crave reasons why they are loved, as deep down they don't know love. They don't understand love. But look into it from outside, hungry like empty ghosts. Narcissists are only familiar with obsession and glingyness, hanging on to their victim to keep themselves from drowning into their own miserable mind.

When asked what he saw good in me....he thought and thought, then said he couldn't see anything

I love the way you love me was the response I received to this question.

If your husband is similar in nature to Donovan Sharpe and what he professes, I’m not sure if your husband is narcissistic or just understanding of female nature and is accounting for that. They don’t call it the “red pill” for nothing.

You are not the only one, before you think that you are stupid, it's so normal that we meet people that are stubborn, but this is extreme, they know everything better.

It's never too late. Once you know, you go

You are not the only one!

💖✨ be kind to yourself you didn't know till you did. Good luck

Cheater talk.you are enough.

@@jbrown2908 Yes, he was. It surprised me.

@@jovanjones4275 My narc did not cheat, unless you consider his love for alcohol. He stuck to me like glue. I couldn’t even have close friends or family.

Just leave him. There's no benefits stay with him for your whole life.

@@fairy170 Oh I left about 1yr and 8 months ago. His response was to make it as difficult as possible to get a divorce.

Great 👍🏻. Me too did the same.

Be strong!

I'm happy you're free from the bondage of these monsters. Most of us have family who are toxic, borderline psychopaths.

Good for you. Congratulations 🎉

That was my Christmas gift to myself ❤😂

Truth: he was himself around you. The vile meaness, insults, push pull hot cold gaslighting script flipping projection blaming cheating lying...he was totally himself with you. So was mine. When I understood this he made it sooo easy to walk away. This is them at their rotten cores. They show you and no one else what they really are. Be well and may you never meet another of these soulless beasts.

If they change around others, good or bad, always believe their worst If they act nice around everyone, but talk smack about people behind their backs, then smack will be talked about you behind yours..

Damn my bad for just wanting friends your just being judgemental and assuming everyone treats people like "objects"

No he showed his demons around you, was sweet and amazingly perfect around others looking for a new supply and a strange piece to fulfill himself. I had one exactly like that. I don’t know if yours was prejudiced, mine was and still is. We couldn’t get near anyone of color or nationality, especially black people, that I didn’t hold my breath as I hurriedly walked past because I knew something insulting was coming out of his mouth to them. I actually kept walking, in case anyone pulled a knife or gun on him. Those were the moments I pretended I didn’t know him.

@@darlenesmith5524 yes he was and still is as well, prejudice I mean. I'm a pretty good mix of white and Latino. I'm very white passing though. When he found out that my grandmother was Mexican he freaked out on me. As if that changed who I was. I agree with you that he was demonic with me. I had just been freed from a lifetime of human trafficking and he was the one that picked me up. I didn't know it then but he was so happy that I was so abused and used when he found me. That allowed him to continue his abuse and probably do more than he could have before because I had no idea what was normal. He kept me locked up in a bedroom for years. Then one day he said that he was going to go out on a boat and knew that I was afraid of the water or else he would take me with him. I told him that I could be brave and wanted to do things that were hard for me because I knew I was strong enough to overcome my fears. Not even ten minutes later he didn't want to deal with me anymore and told me I had to leave her was breaking up with me. That was 2021. He would call me and make sure I was still his girl, while telling me about his new one and making sure I was still heartbroken. It was a terrible time in my life.

My narcissistic mother didn't like that I started going to church and my choice of profession (education). She wanted me to work where she did (clerical in a medical office). Both of my siblings ended up working in the same hospital she did. Of course, she "put in a good word for them". Both ended up getting fired for breaking the law while on the job. Me? I enjoyed a 35 year career in education and retired in 2021. I was my mom's target but I fought back harder. Silently, but I did it.

That's such a good point 👏 You will text them a long, sweet text and you'll get a short text that doesn't seem personalized at all. My mom says, "Luv u 2 dot"

My mom always said" Luv ya" That's not love.

@@MI6-W I agree. It's not. I always thought it didn't feel like she loved me. Her purpose of telling me that was my manipulation I suppose

@@MI6-W Never heard my mother say "I love you" she's a monster and her sisters are evil demons aswell.

I've sd it for 17 years. 13 of those years I've gotten nothing but mute 🤐

Like My girl who goes to a psychologist just SO tell me i AM the narcissist😂 I am like WHAT!? she goes to get told she is good at everything and i'm Bad at everything.... Then when i Say we are over she blackmails me to b again with her....she has Even said that if i don't answer her calls she Will hurt My pets or burn My car......Even when i know she loves and cares for animals.... I believe she is the narcissist one, and her psychologist is a Psycho girl too, but with a license

No!! However, how amazing that they can grasp immediately a hurtful, rude, wrong behavior or words from you and condemn you - how dare you or do you know who you are speaking to? Ask them to play fetch or clean up your mess and see the bewilderment! The list of hypocrisy (oh, shhh, unbeknownst to them...how??? I mean, is it a blind spot really for them or are they just comfortable in lying to you because they gaslight and your confusion, frustration, despair fuels their delight!! Sick, twisted and I cannot do anymore of my life like this...

❤

Thank you. This is a great reminder for the narc survivors that the narcs never cared about anyone. We are confused to think they're just going through something. But here's the thing. Someone can only be saved when they *save themselves.* It's impossible that they care for themselves, because all the hate onto others stems from extreme self-hate/self-destruct. Their grandiose sense of self is only an image.

And they choke on the word love

@@patricialangdon2381 love is unknown to them . They can act it out, but they don't know it precisely.. they will promise you the world, and deliver you nothing.

@@patricialangdon2381 they don't know love. It is alien to themselves..

Only reason why I’m staying at this point too. It sucks

Yes! I had 2 strokes last year and then a surgery to correct the rare issue and am now stuck - it took these traumas and me no longer being “perfect “ in his eyes to show me the truth. I have no ability to afford or not enough mental ability to do it all on my own. 😩

That's the reason I stayed so long but I'm working on my issue

🙏🙏🙏

Come to live with me

I dreaded when grocery store clerks asked my mom how she was doing. They’d get nonstop report on the status of her bowel movements (never normal) and where a yeast infection on her body was. Sometimes under boob, in vagina, or on feet.

Lol😊

My mother had 3 relationships that would love her unconditionally, her children. Yet those were the 1st relationships she made sure to destroy. We would have given her the definition of unconditional love and then some, all the things she CHOSE to do over the years to me and my sis... it was out of selfishness, greed, and her horrible need to be the "pick me" girl, the need to control everyone around her, and her belief that we were extensions of her and when she realized we were not babies anymore and had our own feelings, emotions, opinions, etc she began her campaigns... she's been running smear campaigns for over 25 years on me and my sis. OVER TWENTY FIVE. 🙄

@@jbrown2908 they don't know their behaviour is narcissistic but it is. Using people, manipulating others to get what they want, feeding on others, don't know who they really are, blocked away every part of themself they think that could be weak, believing in a false self. It sounds like I'm talking about sisters or something. One was a colleague; we were together leading a group of people in a Mental Health setting. I watched her mentally almost destroy a young man in the group and tried to stop her. The other was a friend of my husband we worked together with on a project 2 years later. She was proud to show me how she always got what she wanted without any empathy. I have lived almost 12 years with a narcissistic man in the past, got out and survived. I learned about narcism and now helping people who recover from narcissistic abuse.

​@@Ginabina76 that's terrible! I'm so sorry you have to deal with such a person and miss the loving mother you deserve 😢 There has been narcissistic abuse in my family. My mother had to go through that, was traumatised. She didn't know anything about narcissism, never understood why she wasn't good enough, tried her whole life to prove she was allright. Somehow my brother and I were damaged too, had a hard time to be more confident. I believe that's why I as a highly sensitive person got stuck in a relation with a narcissist.

@@jbrown2908 I believe they are. They sound exactly like both my ex-husband and my sister. Both raised by narcs and never got early love. Neither did I, but I made a conscious decision to NOT be like my mom, and I believe my sister and husband made a different decision for survival.....to be like that abusive parent.

Exactly!! My narc would stare, pull an ugly face and walk away.

Silent treatment.

Yep!! They think the silent treatment is some kind of proof of their high self worth instead of seeing it for the childish tantrum it actually is

Mine

They are so above questions like that in their petty little minds.😂

It's so messed up when the use basic human needs like food, shelter, and more and Withhold the very things that keep you alive. We are not crazy. We are having a normal reaction to toxic behavior.

My ex asks me what I bring to table... I'm trying to figure out who is the narcissists here.

I agree. Lack of a relationship with God and demonic influence are definite factions. Blessings to All. 🙏🏼🤍🦅

@@christinalw19 God bless you and your loved ones so very much and thank you for your comment that you posted.

I though thT before

Wow, that sounds absolutely the same as what I experienced and am experiencing. The study thing also fits.😮😂 I'm sorry you have to endure something like that. It's humiliating. I always feel very small in her presence and everything has to be according to her nose. Nothing can be done to please her. I've also been told that about her by others. "No, you're just imagining things." She still has so much power over me. Mental torture over and over again. I also don't know if her "love you" without "I" is meant seriously. I'm even afraid when writing these lines whether I'm just imagining it or especially that she might read it. Then my judgment is questioned again rather than her questioning herself. Of course, I'm the younger sister who still has to "practice a lot", who "disappoints" her, the "sieve brain", etc.pp. 😢 I don't know if I've ever heard a sorry from her. But why apologize when you always do everything right.

If you ever, even once, put your own needs first you will be labeled selfish and mean by a narc. I was raised by 2 of them.

Yeeesss!!

It's no use ,there impossible, you will never win

Npd

Be strong.

Yup mine

Smear campaigns

Huh

@@caroleminke6116 I have only been watching and learning about covert narcissism for the last 8 months or so. Last summer is when I REALLY realized that is what my mother is. And then, my abusive childhood made more sense. I am not familiar with “gray rock”. Can you explain a bit more for me please? Going no contact seems impossible right now 😞

@@aleigha9141 I have a question to You. if you suppose that Your mother is a narcissist do you have an idea why? how? what are the reasons?

@@aleigha9141 See, if your grandmother was a covert narcissist, she could have abused mother, which you have not seen and witnessed. As well possible that your mother is not a narcissist but have a different personality problem (f.ex. borderline as you already mentioned) Because a child dont become a narcissist just out of nowhere. Even if a person has a character tendency to manipulativeness and is highly disposed, she has to have a serious trigger in addition in childhood to become a narcissist. So its serious and I suppose you should investigate and think of it deeply and carefully🤔 You see, this place does not stick together for me - a wonderful mother (your grandmother) and a toxic daughter(your mother). There is a reason somewhere or its something another or antagonistic incompatible characters..

@@zandatee I should clarify that I DO believe my grandmother was abusive to my mother (and her siblings) as my aunt has confirmed this. My mother grew up in a very dysfunctional household and family with other narcissists. One being her aunt, which was like a 2nd mother to her. I don’t doubt that my grandmother abused my mother. She did. But, that wasn’t MY experience with my grandmother of course. I also believe my grandmother was narcissistic. We know that children usually love them and they treat them well. Especially since my sister and I were my grandfather’s favorites. 🤷‍♀️ So, while what my mother was saying was probably at least partly true about my grandmother (mom lies so who knows really), it wasn’t my experience with Grandma and I heard it every time she was around me. I told her that it would be like me sitting my kids down and explaining the abuse that I endured growing up (I was raised in an alcoholic abusive household) and talking about all that she did. I wouldn’t do that bc that is not THEIR experience with her. My mother has always has mental health issues and has been in and out of hospitals all my life. She’s had different diagnoses over the years but the constant has been BPD. I always put her behavior whether it be what she says or things she does to me to her mental health issues and not her being a narcissist. Well, last summer, she did things that were so far out of line that just couldn’t be ignored or put to the fact she struggles with mental health problems. This time it involved my grown daughter at her wedding. Spotlight wasn’t on mom of course. Right before my daughter was to walk down the aisle my mom has an issue with seating. She’s prepared to full on make a scene unless I do something right then 😡. That is when I realized that YES she is also a narcissist. I also have mental health issues (depression, acute anxiety disorder, bipolar disorder) and have been in therapy for over 20 years to work through all I endured during my whole childhood AND things that were still continuing with her. Once it became crystal clear to me that she is in fact a narcissist (and looking at the family she grew up with I can see why) I have been learning all I can on how to deal with this. It only happened less than a year ago. I’m 51 and it took this long to admit that it was more than her mental health issues that made her behave the way she does. I am trying to navigate this relationship with her now while protecting myself bc going no contact isn’t really an option that I can see at this time. I was the scapegoat kid. Looking back over my life knowing what I know now, things make sense. They’ve fallen into place. Once you see the narcissist for who they are, you cannot unsee it. I had to work with my therapist to really wrap my head around it bc I excused her behavior all my life as she can’t help it bc of her mental health. But, she can. Thank you for your comment. I can see where you’re coming from with the information in the first comment I made. There wasn’t alot of context. But, I have already done what you suggested (which is a great suggestion btw). And the conclusion is the same. She is a covert narcissist. Admitting that was MY first step in healing. These videos, and others comments, really help in the healing process. Blessings ❤️🙏

@@aleigha9141 I had the situation - mother - a covert narcissist. Her mother - not a narcissist. So I figured out that her father has been the perfectionist narcissist. I never met him, but have heard some information bits, from them i counted out this. Mother was disrespectful and abusive towards grandmother and spoke of her -I am quite sure- narcissist father as a God. Same as grandmother did. And the abused people if they stay unawakened and unaware stay in this uncritical glorification mode of The Abuser. with a Covert narc NPD its all so veiled and sometimes turned around and looking all opposite. so have to dig to the deepest roots while its nothing more left to dig. Also what made me think of Your story - mother is now concentrating on getting her narc supply from grandchildren. While they are small covert narcissists thrive on their attention and admiration and are greedy to grab it all and fight any competition un their attention - she competes with childrens mother and is so obsessed with whom they love more. She is obsessed to be The most loved person. Narcs are projecting so she sometimes cannot hold herself and was bragging to me before I went no contact. It sounded . bad. She is taking away this joy - be with brothers children - as I just feel - she is deadly jealous and I honestly fear mother and want to escape the dirty fight so I back off. Better leave it all to her. I have a feeling like she was a crocodile who wants to drab it all and eat up whole Earth and Sun and everything. Like so greedy grabbing her narc supply... So here you have a Covert narcissist grandmothers behavior spec. when children are small. BUT she has the favourite grandchild and the neglected one even before they had born can say. Because she decides it by gender regardless anything. I will re read Your comment tomorrow for the second time as i am too tired now.

Omg yes

It’s demonic! Why do people with compassion have the same patterns?

These questions are totally out of their syllabus. They can't even answer simple, routine questions in a normal, healthy way.... The question would go zigzag,, round and round and again zigzag and then finally you will receive the answer which is mostly inappropriate...!!