Last week while at the grocery store, I noticed a woman in a dress and cute shoes pushing her cart. She wasn’t overdressed or too fancy, she just looked-as you often say-“stylish" and “presentable". So, this week, when I went to Costco, I wore what I jokingly call my housedress (it’s a vintage style dress with a cute print and A-line skirt that makes me think of housewives from the 50s). Do you know that I received THREE separate compliments: “What a lovely dress” from an older woman, “Where did you get your dress” from the receipt checker at the door, and “I love your dress” from someone passing by. I didn’t style my hair or wear makeup, I just wore a traditional dress with ballet flats, but it made such a difference. It kind of blew my mind.
I noticed the same thing! I got some nice flowy skirts that I pair with sandals/ballet flats and cute cotton shirts that have some lace/crocheted details, a nicer neckline, or some slightly ruffled sleeves. Just a more elevated and nicer looking casual top instead of a plain T shirt. It's amazing how many compliments I get with such a simple outfit. Plus, I'm so comfortable. What's more comfortable than a soft flowy skirt?
Can we take a moment to appreciate the footage that Jennifer went to lengths to provide of her sitting on the couch with her hair in a messy bun, rummaging through a CheezIts box while wearing stretchy athleisure and bingwatching TV?
Yes! I agree with you. I still sometimes dress more casually when I leave the house, but I still make some effort to fix my hair in a nice style and put some jewelry on. Even trading in the "messy" bun for a more ballerina style bun or using a nice hair clip or ribbon to dress up a more casual hairstyle makes a big difference. It's the details that take us from looking sloppy to appropriately casual lol
I get so many compliments on how put together I always look. You don't need to have wealth to look nice and put together. I have always dressed nicely. Even when I wear a pair of jeans. I have never gone to a store in sweats and a t-shirt. That is reserved for the gym! Love your channel
I've noticed that whenever I take the time to do my hair and dress nicely (even just to go run errands) I never regret it. People treat you differently and with more respect since you obviously respect yourself.
When my mother moved to an assisted living unit, her dementia soon caused her to need more personal care. I always made sure she looked cute and put together. I actually put outfits together on hangers so the workers would know how to dress her. I really do believe she received better care because of this and felt so much better about herself because of the way she was treated.
I think you are also addressing self discipline. That seems to be a character trait we don’t hear much anymore but is so valuable. Appreciate your work Jennifer.
I've heard a great sentence lately. A woman was asked how she did it she looked polished and elegant everyday. She responded, that she had better and worse days, as everybody, but she always stayed disciplined, because in the end "discipline gave her freedom". She didn't have to struggle all the time to become her better self and regret that so much time passed and nothing changed, because thanks to discipline she could live her life the way she wanted.
@@etta0840 Yes! It struck me, because for me discipline was something rather "unpleasant", the kind of "I must" instead of "I choose". I'm so glad I've come across this statement. It turned my point of view upside down!
I went over cultural shock when I came to live in US in 2005… people in pajamas in the stores, sweatpants everywhere and paper plates when you’re invited over… and it’s not getting any better. Great video. “Be the change you wish to see in the world”
The style today is crazy in my opinion. Mixing sweatpants with nicer tops, and wearing heels with sweatpants. I don't get it?? I'm 27 BTW, and feel like I don't belong in this generation. 😆
Thug life 🤣, just kidding, that’s me i’m always in my work out clothes, and my mentality is i’m a women who takes care of her body and eats healthy. It’s not necessarily my identity but that helps in self esteem. I get dressed up maybe twice a week, because i’m thin and i’m always cold and i live in sweaters. 😬😬🤷🏻♀️
@@YarelySilvas You may not have thought of this--always being cold is a symptom of hypothyroidism. I didn't know why I always had on more layers than anyone else, until I learned my thyroid levels were low.
@@YarelySilvas .... I also get cold easily, always have . I was born Anemic, took shots for that throughout my childhood. I am always cold, lol. Perhaps it's relevant to you (?) I also need socks on , even at home ,with slippers. Lol. I dress as nicely as possible, except if I'm painting or working with certain cleaners. ( protecting my good clothing) .
In the warmer months here in New England, I like to wear long maxi skirts, or a long maxi dress with sandals. Last summer walking into the grocery store, an older gentleman said to me as he walked past, "wow, a real lady, in a world that doesn't often see one." I smiled and said, "Thank you." It really is sad to receive such comments from people, but also really nice and made me feel happy and confident. 😊
Throughout the pandemic, I have worn formal work clothes and makeup every work day, so that I would appear professional during my virtual meetings (including nice pants, because I would occasionally need to get up to go get something during a meeting and people would see my pants!). Also, the formal clothes gave a clear message to my family, who was also at home: “Mom is working right now - don’t bother her!”
You're on to something. I watched a video with my son made by a young music producer who worked from home. He said he couldn't settle down to work without dressing for the day, including shoes and socks : )
Being a homemaker I’ve adopted the Fly Lady morning routine which includes dressing to shoes 👟. I little bit of make up and a sprtitze of perfume gets me started for the day. Now, it’s just a happy habit.
What you describe as formal is actually the casual way of living in many countries around the world. It’s the way we are raised and it’s the way we enjoy life.
Preach. When my family comes to stay for a weekend their feathers are ruffled because I expect all dining to be done at the dining table. I haven’t always been that way, I changed about three years ago when I realized how much mindless eating I did when reading a book, doing a crossword puzzle, or even watching TV (when I used to own a TV). I made the decision that food would no longer be a primary source of entertainment, unless I was entertaining others. At first it was difficult I would think I was hungry and I’d grab some chips or a cookie and then I would sit at the dining room table to eat it. I couldn’t even stand in the kitchen by the island… I had to go sit at the dining room table… And I soon learned that I did a lot of boredom eating. Do I still snack yes but it’s very rare when it occurs. Now let’s talk about clothing especially comfortable clothing like yoga pants. THEY LIE TO YOU!!! Unless you work out regularly and watch what you eat as in eat healthy… If you wear yoga pants or stretchy clothes day in and out you won’t notice your weight gain… Because these clothes are made to stretch with your weight gain. And then you go to buy some new yoga pants and you’re totally floored that you need to go up a size or two. Solution wear yoga pants and your comfy clothes when it’s appropriate, You know at the gym, at bedtime, doing yardwork and so forth. Your video today so resonated with me… Thank you Jennifer!
I have a severe needs special needs child and it’s a very good thing nobody here can see me right now but we do our best with these things. Sometimes I admit I am sloppier than I should be but my son is very aggressive and sometimes a baggy sweatshirt is the only thing that covers scratches and bruises and my son is learning to tolerate certain fabrics and use silverware. An organized home is essential for us so we do well with that and we dress up nicely for church every week even though everyone else around us is in hoodies and T shirts. I agree with the channel surfing stuff and being aware of your behavior and habits when it comes to entertainment and eating. Society has definitely gone from casual to sloppy and I have been reminded that life is so short so I no longer save our fancy dishes, etc. for special occasions because every day is a blessing and a special occasion 😊💜 I often wonder if my son and other people like him would function better and learn faster with a more formal, well mannered society…just a thought…but of course more education and acceptance needs to be taught too. Speaking of manners when you meet someone with a disability say hello and don’t stare and please teach your children to do the same. Staring at people is definitely not chic!
@juliebarnard Bless you Julie!. I too have a son with special needs. Not so severe but it's challenging all the same. I have tried to teach him how important it is to take care of his personal appearance and hygiene. He seems to get it and takes pride in looking good. He even complements me when I dress up. I've substituted the great big sweat shirts for nice cashmere sweaters. (Thrifted). And I wear nice fitting jeans or trousers. I am a pro at thrifting! CHEERS!
All of your tips are on point! Also, the benefits I have experienced when following these tips is: 1. People treat me respectfully. 2. It gives me a healthy feeling about who I am. 3. I tend to get better deals when negotiating. 4. Those around me seem more calm around me and maybe it’s because I feel good and confident so, in return they feel my peace. Thank you for sharing your experiences!
Such great points! My son is 12, and he has always loved to dress up and hold the door for others. We read your book together, and he loved it. He homeschools, so he is always with me when I go to the grocery store. He always tries to beat the cashier to saying, “Have a great day” and he always looks to see if there is an elderly person parked near us who needs help loading their groceries. I get compliments about what a gentleman he is every time we go out. It’s sad to see that the cashiers are so surprised that a young person is polite to them. He has always been interested in dressing well (he loves polo shirts and khaki shorts) and learning about manners, so he has really put your advice into practice. I can’t thank you enough!
I don't like binge watching shows, or channel surfing. I usually tell myself that when I do watch something i limit how many episodes I watch at a time. I have gotten into watching foreign content, so I decided to choose Italian ones to mirror me learning it online. I slow episodes down to pick up on phrases, or listen to the inflection of the spoken words. It usually takes me an entire week to watch one episode a week. It actually helped me pick up on a lot culture of Italy by doing this because I see a lot more in the episode than I realized was there.
How you are dressed shows respect for yourself, but more importantly it shows respect for anyone you encounter. Similarly, I want my home to be attractive and comfortable for myself, but also for my guests. We can easily make a positive impact if we make the effort to be intentional. Thank you so much for your enjoyable programs.
I think you’re right and I appreciate your bravery in talking about weight. So often now if someone mentions “this habit might help with weight loss” the fangs come out in people! It’s like you can’t even discuss weight loss on social media without being accused of shaming (or even told you’re shaming your own self!) I’ve found this difficult as I desire and need to lose weight, but it seems like everyone is constantly saying “no you’re fine, it’s all good!” Insulin resistance is NOT all good, friends! I love that you broach the subject in this video (and others) in a reasonable way. Thanks, Jennifer!
I’ve been putting off making a RU-vid channel because I want to talk about my experiences with insulin resistance and hormone imbalance due to being overweight, but we live in a body positivity culture where “big bodies are healthy bodies” 😫🙄
Jennifer - I have shared your books with my daughter-in-law. In fact, during a road trip recently, my DIL, son and our 4 grandsons (ages 13-7) listened to your books. Upon returning home, they all straightened out their dresser drawers and got rid of some of their clothing and they cleaned up clutter. :) Thanks for being another good influence in our lives!
I am eating my yogurt breakfast while watching/listening to you while I work remote, lol In my defense, I am fully dressed in more casual office attire, hair done, full make up and jewelry, as I have every work day for the past 2 years. Lipstick always!! We dine with a tablecloth every night, fresh flowers and decent meals. My friends all say " you eat fancy" or "you shop at the rich lady store". I like my life and so does my husband. It takes very little effort to live graciously and with purpose. I am tired of crude language, sweat pants and slippers in public...I actually saw a lady in her matching top and bottom flannel pajamas!!! Sad that it is ok to have a "messy hair, dont care" attitude. Thank you for your content!
"You eat fancy" gosh I'm no stranger to hearing that.🤣 You can tell the standards are low when people think their own behaviors of being sloppy, careless, and having lil self control is considered "normal and good" but living a comfortable/formal daily lifestyle is something that seriously raises an eyebrow. 😂
Wonderful topic and all are so true! Several years ago a new mother in our neighborhood mentioned she felt she needed parenting classes to raise her child properly. I was a Montessori preschool teacher at the time. I told her to save her money and teach her child good manners and her child would be light years ahead of the majority of her peers. Manners have been lost by most of society. The children with good manners performed so much better in the classroom and playground. Sadly, very few of our students had been taught good manners and we were a school that catered to very wealthy families. Class is learned and earned not bought.
Very inspiring tips, Jennifer. I grew up with a few wealthy, well-mannered relatives in England. Oh! The culture shock when this rural Canadian would visit this family! Elbows at my side. Fork turned over. Small, slow bites. Napkin in my lap. Lots of "pleases" and "thank yous" and calm conversation. I try to imagine I'm sitting with these aunties and uncles now, when I eat. It is a radically different experience when I do. For those who don't have such memories, take a close look at how members of the Royal family eat on The Crown. For those who are on a tight clothing budget, the number 1 way I upgrade my outfits is to iron (or steam) almost everything. Yes, I iron my jeans.♥️🇨🇦
It’s astonishing to me how few people iron anymore! I only have a certain brand of Irons I will buy because so many are made junky because people hardly use them. I even iron my undershirts.
I was already upgrading my life, but you are inspiring me to put more effort into it. I have started using the nice things and burning those special candles. It is a shame to see so many who die and have not enjoyed many of the things they saved for a special occasion. Manners, eating and drinking well from nice tableware, and dressing nicely are fading quickly. It is our own fault if we don't think we are important enough to do these things. I always take the time to plate my food in a pleasing manner and though I will not dress up many days as I am doing gardening or working on projects that would potentially ruin anything I am wearing you have inspired me to do it more often. I'm worth the extra effort and so is everyone else.
When I saw the picture of you eating Cheetos informally I laughed so hard. Because that's me! 66 years old. All the kids are grown and gone. I'm still working. I come home and eat my Cheetos and go on social media. You're helpful even for Grandma's.
all you say is very true ...sometimes I watch old videos on youtube from around 1910 or so and I see how elegant people were in that times...people nowadays have forgotten how to dress and do their hair 🤩
Beautiful video Jennifer ❤️ as a Muslim I too believe that the little time we have on this earth is so precious and we have to do our best to live out our lives in the best possible way…the best manners, conduct, etc. This was a great reminder for me thank you.
You brought up so many good points. One thing I had to overcome was the fear of "standing out." I don't like a lot of attention on me, so I was dressing more casually than I wanted to just to blend in better. I finally got over it and bought clothes that really express my own personal style. Very feminine and a tad on the whimsical side because that suits my personality. And it makes a huge difference. And yes, I do get more attention than I used to, but it's really positive and nice. People smile at me more, and I feel more confident, too. One thing I really need to work on is manners. I'm a stickler for please, thank you, and excuse me. I have that side covered, but my table manners could definitely use some work. I just wasn't raised to sit up straight and keep elbows off the table during our family meals. We were always more casual and relaxed, but it is definitely something I would like to work on :)
This is such fabulous insight and advice I choose to follow. My mother was very elegant and always looked her best. She would say, “ Elle, you never know who you might run in to, even going to get the mail”. It is rewarding living your best life! ⭐️
Yes, the Sebastian airport skit!!! “You see the world…..and the world SEES YOU!” You know, one’s wardrobe is like grammar. Choosing to text shorthand with little or no regard to punctuation, capitalization, or the use of complete sentences says, “I couldn’t care less.” (Going to store in PJs) But when your sentences are fully formed, thoughtful, and considered, it says, “I do care.” (Dressing each day like an adult).
Such an important topic, thank you Jennifer. A reminder that life is a gift each day and what better way to offer our thanks than to live it beautifully, being the best version of ourselves God intended for each of us.
I personally appreciate this video. This is the stage of life I am at, deciding who I want to be and how I want to live. However, I can't help but think of the many people I interact with through my work who are not as fortunate as I am to have the headspace and support to make these intentions into realities. I totally agree that all those "soccer moms" going out with their yoga pants and a messy bun could probably learn a lot from the concept of living formal, but I'm talking about those who come from generations of poverty, who maybe struggle just to pay the bills from month to month. We all need to be gracious and accepting of these individuals, even when they are wearing their pajamas to the store and their children have no manners, because even if they could somehow learn that they should live more formally, they may mentally be in survivor mode and literally cannot shift their mindset. Not to say that all of those living in poverty do not live in some of the more formal ways, but just that any type of poverty (social, emotional, financial, etc) create an extra hindrance from focusing on the "finer" things of life I have noticed a rise, since the pandemic, in individuals who fall into this category and it is tragic. But I'm going to keep loving and showing value to everyone, rather than holding them to the standards I am seeking to cultivate for myself. I am realizing, as I explore more about how I want to live intentionally, that I cannot neglect the internal need for humility and compassion while upholding the outward tenets of a formal lifestyle. Even though I agree with this video, just wanted to share my thoughts in case the information can help someone else.
Oh exactly it is cultural! But here in the states we have a culture often connected with that poverty. Like I was saying, generations of feeling helpless to get out of poverty perpetuates the cycle. It didn’t USED to be this way. The poor still had a sense of pride and dignity. And I think that’s what is present in cultures like the one you describe, which sets apart those who are physically poor but emotionally stable. I work with a variety of low-income/impoverished individuals and families. And it is just SO clear that the solution is much more complicated than just “live better.” My goal is to non-condescendingly set an example while intentionally showing unending compassion and support for these families. Simple mental shifts, like caring about how you dress and taking care of yourself is a HUGE step in the right direction. But it’s a step that people have to be prepared to make on their own, without feeling forced/looked-down-on. Thanks for sharing your thoughts/experience! It’s SO true that there are some pretty incredible people living in poverty around the world. To have so little but humbly manage it all so well, with dignity and grace is admirable!
@@grt764 Thank you. I try to be level-headed and clear with my comments, which means... overthinking and taking an excessive amount of time typing things up. But I genuinely desire to help stimulate people's thinking about subjects that aren't simply black and white. Kind regards!
Thank you for your comment. I live in a small town and had gotten to a point where I started complaining excessively about how uncaring people were dressing these days while out. Then it occurred to me that I was really upset because I wasn't being inspired to keep my own appearance up. So a voice whispered to me: be your own inspiration, stop depending on others to inspire you to express your best. And that I don't know what's going on in their lives and to just be grateful that my desire and intention is strong enough to not give up on myself. That was a game changer for me. Now I just do what I do and let others do what they do.
The one comment I have to make, although I agree with all these points..is the topic of wearing your comfortable pajamas/casual wear/lounge wear at home. There is a huge push by the youtubers that I LOVE, to wear more formal clothes even while at home. I absolutely think that there could be occasions where you would want to do this(if your expecting a visitor etc) But goodness, for me, because I never go out in sweats or pajamas, I always wear appropriate clothing for church, stores errands etc. That when I'm home.. I truly think it's fine to wear casual clothes. Even yes.... pajamas 😬🤫I'm NOT advocating for clothes that are Stained or dirty or holes etc. I don't wear those at home but I do wear casual clothes, sweats, comfy shorts etc. It would be a bit exhausting to not have that down time of being able to feel casual. I think that is important too.. for just..the coziness of our souls if nothing else. I get happy and excited to dress cute and properly anytime I leave the house, but apart of that is because I do give myself the freedom to be casual at home. I really believe in balance. My husband is also totally fine with me wearing casual clothes. I don't need makeup all the time or formal wear. This means that when I do get ready and cute to leave the house, there is still an element of.. surprise..or like..spontaneity.. mom looks so pretty or wife looks so beautiful. I think that awe of felling like you look so beautiful can go away if you look "formal" all the time. I also believe beauty is in your character and that each individual should do what they love, so go ahead and be formal at home if that's what you love. I love being casual at home, no makeup, just naturally existing, and then getting excited to "dress up" to leave the house Aloha!
Absolutely! I don’t know if people who associate sweat pants and loungewear with baggy, unflattering or worn out clothing realise how elegant it can be these days. It can instead mean garments made from cotton, tencel or cashmere for example. It’s not all bobbled and baggy!
Hi, I wanted to comment that I agree with what you said here. I won’t go out looking sloppy. But I definitely need to be relaxed in my dressing when I’m at home with just my cats. I will often put on pajamas after dinner ( they’re cute pajamas!) and I do wear sweats but they are designer sweats and they all have matching tops. I couldn’t sit around reading at night or watching tv in, say, nice jeans and a nice top! I couldn’t do it, I would be so uncomfortable. It’s nice to be casual alone at home!
I find it interesting that our grandparents never felt the need to do this.....they wore their day clothes during the day and pyjamas when they went to bed at night. That's how I grew up as well in the 70's and 80's. What's changed in our society, I'm trying to figure it out....
@@pj595 I know you are right because of my mom. She passed away in 2013 at 96. I spent a lot of time with her. She wore her regular clothing the entire evening every single day of her life! I couldn’t stand it and I told it to her all the time. I wanted her to put on her nightgown and robe when we watched tv together at night when I would be staying over with her. She didn’t do it. I wear comfy but cute soft leisure outfits at home until I go to bed, them pajamas. But I never wear regular street clothes in the evenings! It would be torture for me! I have lots of leisure stuff for the evenings.
What a balm for the soul your videos are, Jennifer! I'm a teacher of teens/young adults, and you inspire me to model formal behaviour with them. Thank you from Cambridge UK! 💖
I'm half smiling as I watch, Jennifer. On Saturday evening I set the dining table for Sunday lunch. But my husband wanted to go to a restaurant for lunch on Sunday. Something else happened Monday, I can't now remember what. Then Tuesday, Wednesday... it's Thursday and the table is still set. I'm not sure we'll get to it today either, with a funeral this late morning. Even with the best of intentions, life sometimes gets in the way. But I have promised myself to eat a meal at that table sometime soon. I may have to dust it first, lol.
I have wanted to live this way my entire life and now I am a 63-year-old widow. A few years ago my late husband and I went through some unfortunate circumstances and then he passed away. I live alone now but I still have this inner yearning to live a more formal lifestyle. I have a couple of disabilities so I tend to have one TV in my bedroom and I sit in bed and eat at night. I know that’s horrible. My biggest problem is finding clothing because I live in a really small rural community and I’m horribly overweight. Every point you made makes so much sense. I am pretty good about taking care of myself intellectually. I listen to historical podcasts and sermons daily. I don’t watch as much TV as I once did. Thank you for the gentle reminder and motivation that it’s not too late for me to get my act together again. To love and respect myself and then do so I respect others.
Hello kindred spirit. I wish I were smaller so I could wear some styles I've always admired, e.g., Margaret Anderson of Father Knows Best; June Cleaver😂. Love those button down shirt dresses with the three quarter sleeves. I wish I could sew.
I live in a hot country and I’ve noticed a trend towards women wearing flowy cotton or linen dresses and pretty sandals and moving away from athliesure which looks so much nicer and is still comfortable in the heat.
You're right that we have all become more casual since the pandemic started. Thank you for bringing these points out. We always ate at the table and now we don't since my son left for college last fall. That's changing immediately! BTW this is the first time my husband watched a post with me and he said', "she's very classy." 🙂
I remember going on a mission trip in my early 20s and everyone told me to dress down so I would be more relatable to the people we would be serving. I had nothing to dress down (and no money to buy dress-down clothes - my clothes were a few years old but well kept). Actually, it didn’t matter. I was dressed stylishly and had fantastic rapport with children and adults alike - because I was “just” me. It probably would not have worked out that well if I had tried to be someone else by dressing like everyone else. This way, they saw my heart, as my outer appearance was an extension of who I am inside.
As someone who has decided that I am done with a “ casual lifestyle”, I feel you made many amazing points in this videos. But, here is the problem, where do I even start in trying to live a more formal lifestyle? Everything in my life, from clothing to furniture, is so very casual. It is almost the American way. Could you please create a video on how to become more formal in a step by step manor? Thank you.
I have watched alot of videos on that , you need some staples you can mix in match & a couple mice jeans. I think she's done a video on that :) sorry I don't know how she titled it.
I struggle here too. I live right by the beach so it’s a super casual lifestyle. Also it’s very easy to throw on yoga pants like everyone else and go walk my dog everyday.
Yes !! All your tips are true! I go about my day saying: “snacking is NOT chic” in my head😂 to remind me not to just eat here and there. I remember watching street interviews from the 50’s and everyone interviewed and those walking on the street were dressed nicely. It was just a regular day! Men in suits and ties and a hat, women in a nice dress, and I remember thinking how nice it was and also how much society has changed!
@@sierraalexandra7630 There's no need to confuse dressing well and being courteous with old bigotry. I have no trouble keeping some of the good old fashion values and chucking the bad ones.
I have never thought about how a casual lifestyle encourages bad eating behavior!! Please do make another video about that!! I'm so much older than you but I remember in the 50s, my mother always left the home to go to town with gloves and her hat. Great points!! I love your videos, Jennifer, and have read all your books many times. I've always been curious....does your French family know about your writings? Have you been in contact with them since leaving France?
What a nice surprise to find your channel,Thank You! I subscribed right away. I have found other benefits, too. When we are more formal, the coarse seems to slip away naturally and other more formal people and situations naturally take their place over the years. The items you mentioned have literally saved my life, as I was raised in a "casual" atmosphere and had to work my way out of that. It took many years and hard work. Now, not only am I living a formal and structured lifestyle, but I also retired from the workforce at 47. I now work in my home office managing my rental properties. My husband thinks it is darling that I get ready for work every day with a proper outfit and makeup to go into my home office! None of this would have been possible had I not started young on simply having impeccable manners, which then led to everything else. Thank You for your program, the World needs more of this!
Wow, Jennifer, bringing formality to the daily life does help in all these ways! We are using cloth napkins, cloth paper towels and handkerchiefs exclusively to stretch our grocery budget and it makes us more mindful of being wise stewards of our money and the earth. Thanks for bringing this topic full circle. All the best, Julie 🌷
About a year ago I acquired a formal tea set. Whenever I have time and leisure, I drink with friends or for myself from these beautiful, delicate cups. The odd thing is, alongside the beauty of the set, it is the more formal, less practical, that makes it a particular joy to use. You have to carefully pour the tea from the teapot and take the cup carefully with the saucer, you can only do that with mindfulness, maybe that's the secret of this pleasure?
I spent years in scrubs at work or sweats/pjs at home---gained 40+ pounds and didn't notice my clothes no longer fit because I seldom got dressed! Then, when I had to dress for an occasion, it was panic and I often wore outfits I didn't feel great about. I recently lost the weight, started a spring/summer 10 piece capsule wardrobe--and I will try your advice today, as everything else has been SO helpful! I'm 62 and happy to learn -- to dress better and to develop healthier habits for life! Thanks for your work, Jennifer-- -it has helped more than I can say! You are a unique, valuable voice, and I appreciate your lessons! Sharon Y.
I am watching this on a rainy day and I have broken each rule..lol. Sitting on the couch, watching old disney movies with the kids, baking and yes, I am in my pj's. I can say, though, that this isn't the norm for us. I am now looking forward to tomorrow and showing up for my day!
Agree. There is a time and place to be casual, like a picnic. I was raised to come to breakfast and dinner presentable. We sat at the dinner table with a napkin and hand in our lap; no elbows on the table. We properly excused ourselves when finished. I have gotten too casual; so this video is a good reminder. Thank you for your encouragement to remember to be proper.
I love that you talk about how comfort is what you get used to. I wouldn't feel comfortable in public in leggings! It's not about the the elasticity of material, it's about what you get used to.
I love the reminder that the more we do something, they more accustomed and comfortable we get to it. You spoke in terms of style. This principle applies to all aspect of life.
I've been brought up on most of these principles, and now that I have my own home, I try to stick to them as much as possible. I love the idea of intentional living, even though my style is more casual then yours by choice. The first important bit of furniture I insisted on was a dining table, and I will never regret that choice even though it takes up a lot of space in a small house. I can't stand wearing leggins so will always be in jeans or skirts, and my most comfortable pair of trousers for lounging is fancy super soft work wear. My parents have actually gotten a lot slopier since getting older, whereas I have decided that after my casual 20's, a little bit more discipline and order would be a good idea. Great video, I'll be looking for more!
Would love the video on dressing the table! Love beautiful tables-capes!
2 года назад
That French family must have been a delight to live with. :) I personally like dressing nicely at all times, even when working from home, going for a walk, or just to the grocery’s store. When travelling, I find it disturbing to see most people wearing gym clothing, sweatpants, and even things I wouldn’t even wear for sleeping! Wearing a nice dress with nice shoes (flats are more comfortable than sports shoes), and having the hair neat up or in a pony tail will always look nicer and it’s comfortable.
I think the first pre-step for any of this is a pretty posture bra. I really do. Then, the pretty lace blouse and cami. Then, set the table. And so forth.
I have been wearing dresses almost everyday for like two years and you feel so much more presentable when you do that. In winter I wear them with leggings and sometimes I wear leggings and a nice shirt with a cardigan.
Same here, I love wearing dresses. I wore a pair Bermuda shorts out this summer and it felt a little weird. In the winter I wear dresses with tights. I bought a pair of OTK boots to wear with my dresses (hemmed slightly above the knees or a few inches below) but the dress hem gets caught in the gap at the top of the boots when walking. I don't want to shorten the dresses. I should have gotten the boots that tie at the top. I love these boots and if anyone have any suggestions about making this work please let me know. Thanks!
Ironically, I mentioned to my husband this morning that I don't feel so comfortable going out of the house unless I look put together. I said that I wondered if that way of thinking was pushing me backwards mentally...as in I was caring too much about how others perceive me. But after watching this video I believe I just feel more comfortable with myself, for myself when I'm put together. It's really not "for" other people. I completely agree on the point of common public manners. When I go anywhere I almost always encounter rudeness in some form. Road rage, people yelling, people using their phones on speaker phone...ugh, people and their phones!!! Watching videos in public, blasting music in public!! Grrr!! I think what society is lacking is an understanding of the boundaries of those around them. It would be lovely if people were just a bit more formal and little less "anything goes"
I use to get very self conscious when I go out dressed my best- especially when I received compliments. On one hand I enjoy the compliments but on the other hand I never want to feel like I'm dressing for the compliments. It's a balancing act. I remind myself that I'm dressing to express NOT to impress. Also, once I'm dressed and do the final check, I forget about how I look on the outside and just trust what's within.
I so enjoy watching your videos! And, yes, you’re never too old to learn. I recently celebrated my 70th birthday, and watching you and other Young RU-vidrs keeps me feeling young! 🤣 I have all three of your Madam Chic books and have learned and put into practice many of the things you talk about. I am thinking about getting the Connoisseur Kids to read to my granddaughter. Thank you for keeping me feeling young ♥️
@@gailtester8749me, too! I wish RU-vid had been around when I was raising my daughters! There are things I would have differently, I think. But I’m sure glad Facebook wasn’t around when I was a teen!😂 I’d hate for all the stupid things I did to be documented! 😂🤣😂🤣
Awesome video! I live in Florida in a medium to higher income retirement community. Just a day ago I was thinking how casual everybody has become. I look at women with a relatively good income and they go out disheveled, wearing leggings and flip flops all the time. I understand the weather is hot, but really, they can make a simple effort. Not to say I’m perfect all the time, but this video wants me to up my game. Thank you!
We just bought a home in a retirement community in SWFL, and I can't believe how "casual" it is. I am really trying to figure out how to dress down there. It's kind of depressing to see everyone dressed down all the time, no matter the event. I am from Ohio and it is surprising to me how different the lifestyle is.
I’m catching up on your videos 😁Oh wow, this one was an eyeopener! I never thought there were connections between casual living with weight gain, sloppiness, mindlessness, bad manners, and clutter. Thanks Jennifer!
Happy I found your channel. I wish they had you in schools doing lectures to young children as well as high school and college. This really should be taught in schools today. Class, taste, and good manners need to be restored in society
You know? We make it a point to have dinner at the table every night. Most mornings I make breakfast for my husband. He eats by himself and I go mess around with something else. It's been like that for years. This morning, I made a breakfast a was a little bit on the special side. Instead of doing what I always do, I had breakfast with him.. I don't think I've done that in forever. It was so relaxing. Tranquil. We talked about the yard. The weather. Do things we want to get done. Just..pleasant. It made a huge difference! It occurred to me that if you're having problems in your marriage? This could just about cure it. I don't know if I'll have breakfast with him every morning. He he leaves very early, but definitely more often than I have been. Thank you for the tip!
I didn’t own a pair of sweatpants until a couple years ago. I had some spine & nerve issues which caused excruciating pain and putting on clothes was very hard so I needed something to be able to slip on. It was also during winter and it gets very cold here otherwise a dress would have been ideal. I was so happy when I could wear my normal clothes again ☺️
I'm new on your channel. I found it after starting to read one of your books. Your message is what I have been looking for years now. It is true inspiration❣️ I also have a story: A few years ago I went to Venice on a day trip with a friend. It was a rainy day, so we didn't see too much of the city itself but we decided to sit in bars and watch the people and chat. In one of the bars there was an elderly woman who will stay in my mind forever. She was about 70 years old, but her simple style was fascinating. The way she dressed and spoke was charming. She was so simply elegant but still I couldn't take my eyes off her. I didn't want to star at her and scare her, but her style was outstanding. My initial thought was 'I want to be like this when I am older'. Such a role model is important for me because in my country it is not typical of elderly women to go out, to dress up or put on make-up etc.
Re the formal way of eating helping a person remain present w your food: I read an essay by one of my favorite christian writers, Anne Lamott, who has battled with an eating disorder for much of her life. She talks about trying to eat in the context of imagining if the pastor of your church were there. You wouldn't tell him or her, "here, have a can of Pringles, I have my own," you'd make her a lovely meal filled with your best work and serve it with pride. You can elevate every meal a little bit by considering if someone you respect were joining or watching you. Of course, I could see this not working for every person who has struggled w disordered eating (full disclosure I have not personally struggled with that), but the image has always stuck with me, and has made me pause about what I'm eating or just doing in the kitchen.
I just want to let you know about your first tip is that by also not viewing the tv and or cellphone and being fully focused on your meal actually decreases your cortisol level which can help with weightloss! :)
I also grew up in the 1980s and 1990s, and you're right: it was more common then for people to dress up. I remember some of the very pretty skirts and dresses I had as a teenager, purchased at average department stores like JC Penney and Macy's. It's hard to find such clothes anymore. Incidentally, I absolutely love your bedroom!🌷
What a very On Pointe topic! I am 50 and I often say that society as a whole has no manners any more. I was raised by my grandparents who were very formal people. Which has helped me with who I am as a person and even helped me with my housekeeping. Please continue speaking on this very important topic. And yes, I find that I too have adopted a sloppier lifestyle then I grew up with so thank you for the wake up call!
I had to go watch Sebastian’s video about dress code after you mentioned it, and then come back here to comment. I started crying laughing when he said “Do people just *roll* out of bed and end up at United”?😂😂 It seems the majority of people nowadays thinks everywhere they go is a slumber party. 😂 I wish more people would dress up nicely everyday - you can still be “comfortable” but look presentable!☺️ Thanks for another wonderful video Jennifer. Also the clip of you eating crackers on the couch made me laugh - it’s so unlike you!!🤣💗
Yes. I was thinking about that, as well. There was a time when Travel was a better experience, and it's shameful that the " Powers that be " made it into an environment of cattle herding ( basically) and they wonder why people dress as they do ...??!! I suggest these Airlines look at how people dressed in the 60's and prior to go on trips. Lovely clothing. No flip flops . No sweatpants. No " messy buns" , ... ; part of this was created by the government with their nonsense about taking off shoes and all these other kinds of things which is ridiculous. I no longer travel by Air , as I was tired of that nonsense, and looking at disheveled individuals, that did indeed look.like they " rolled out of bed", and got on the plane. ...whilst I was wearing a nice ensemble of black ( nice) bootleg cut Guess jeans, black pumps, a stylish top, a longer grey cardigan, nice carry on tote bag. I stopped traveling by air in 2018, and I don't miss it. All the enjoyment and " fun of flying " is gone, and I think if people would have stood up to the political nonsense ( which was just a way of " Controlling the masses, via small steps "...) then things might not have gone so awry. SO. will drive. No matter how far it is, lol.
Great reminders! My husband and I have such a bad habit of eating dinner while watching a show after the kids go to bed. I’ve realized how detrimental that is to our overall health! It’s been on my mind that we need to break that habit.
I saw an interesting video months ago where a man decided to do an experiment in an airport and see if how he was dressed made a difference as to whether he was hassled about wearing a mask. When he wore sweat pants and a hoodie he was harassed by security for not wearing a mask, when he wore smart trousers and a jacket and carried himself confidently, he wasn't bothered. I wish I'd saved the video to share with you, because it just drove home exactly what you're always telling us!!
A lady asked me yesterday at Marshall’s my opinion on a top so I told her my opinion and then she said I just wanted to know because I can tell you’re a classy lady and I looked down and I thought well I just have ballet flats leggings and a boat neck long top... Nothing expensive just my regular grooming meaning I fixed my hair and did my make up like every day and I thought you know I’m going to take that as a compliment!
Every time a watch your videos, I am inspired to do more of what I’m already trying to do- and that’s because I read your Madame Chic book a few years ago! And yes, more if this content, please! 😊
Thank you Jennifer, would you do a video (or several) on table-setting? I'd like to know your thoughts on table linen, runners and placemats, when to use them and when they're not necessary. What would you consider essential for someone just moving into their own home? And your thoughts on styles, monograms and embroidery. That was a lovely reminder. Even in the past, it's very rare that I spend a day in my pyjamas, I've always gotten dressed every day, even if I'm staying in the house. In the past couple of years, I've moved away from wearing jeans, I'm getting really bored of them and denim isn't the best textile to wear, I've been wearing more skirts and dresses, and I have quite a few wool skirts for the winter, which are warmer than any trousers I own. In the past few weeks, I've been reincorporating makeup into my routine, especially when I'm going somewhere. I've always liked makeup, and I've been lazy about it. I really like Shelbey Wilson's makeup style and techniques, it's fresh and simple, and I'm gradually getting the hang of it and doing it faster.
For those of too scared to wear nicer clothes for fear of spilling bleach or whatever when cleaning, I find aprons are a wonderful item to throw over your clothes. I do also have cleaning clothes which are my older more worn out items of clothing. I have made it a habit to change once housework is done. Dressing better really has improved my mental health.
I was a young adult in the 1980s and even then, there was a sense of what was casual, dressed up daytime wear and formal wear. I don't think people even have a sense of what the terms mean now. Things that are now considered dressy were casual then. My mother and I loved dressing up a bit for day time and evening events. I wasn't then nor am I now a conservative person. When I went to the opera I might have worn a silk dress but had punker/new wave hair ; ) It wasn't about following rules, but more about enjoyment.
Thank you so much for your tips, trick, and reminders. I've not only started noticing the way others dress, but when I see someone dressed for their day I comment with a compliment. It's my way of spreading sunshine, and kindness, in what can often be a dark and dreary world, so thank you for encouraging this. This past Saturday my husband and I, along with a friend, went to see the new Downton Abby movie. My biggest take from the movie was the actress portraying the actress in the movie being shot at Downton Abby and her table manners at dinner. I gasped (loudly) and commented (yes, a bit to loud for the theatre) she has her elbows on the table. We teach our children to practice the things that are important in life, from manners to math and reading, yet when we become adults we slack off and find ourselves needing to "Polish Our Poise", if I may. I may not be quite ready for tea with the Queen, but thanks to your videos and books, I am consistently polishing my poise, and brushing up on things that need brushing up, like my theatre manners... Blessings!
My Mother was very big on teaching us manners and elegance! And I’m a better adult for it. This makes me remember her so much 💗🙏. Thank you for doing these videos!
Ok I had to take a double look on Jennifer sitting on the couch in sweats and a messy bun 🤣😂 Such a good video. For sure struggling in so many of these areas, and the sobering thing is that when I put on something decent on for the day, it almost feels as if I can pick up when I am and live a well and enjoyable life.
I wholeheartedly agree with everything mentioned in this video. When you live INTENTIONALLY you do everything with intention. I am the only female at our business and I hear the men mention how "frumpy" women have gotten with how they present themselves to the world. I know it's not only women, but since hearing this comment it really awakened in me the desire to be more mindful with my attire. I get treated with much more respect because of it. Thank you Jennifer! 🌺
I love 💕 the kind way you challenge our community to strive to be the best version of ourselves! When raising our daughter here, my standards were higher, as I was setting a good example! Family dinners with “napkin on your lap” after grace was said was something I stated EVERY meal from 4 yes old through high school! 🙄 When college formals became part of campus life, all sorority sisters approached our daughter for a crash course! Amusing now that she is raising her own! As for TV watching, you’re correct… now that I live alone, a good movie or one of my saved shows are my dinner companions. I most likely would eat less👍! Thank you for another visit to more formal living! Appreciate the challenge 🤗
Love your sense of humor! The box of cheese-its and the messy bun 😂 currently working on the clutter-free environment for my home. Thanks for keeping me inspired!
Yesterday I was just thinking about how the chic assignments have enhanced my life and how they make me want to keep living formally. Learning about the beauty makes me want to live more beautifully. Thanks Jennifer, you on the couch with a box of crackers was hilarious!
Hello Jennifer! Seeing you sitting on the couch with the chips had me rolling after I recovered from a minor shock! I can't imagine those clothes would make it to you closet as they are too casual and so not "chic" Thanks for the great video as always.
Jennifer, point #1 number is true. Sadly, I dealt with weight gain after having my second daughter. It is common to gain weight after having children but even after a few years, I had trouble losing weight. As soon as I stopped staying up late eating snacks all the weight came off effortlessly. I rarely snack now. Just three delicious meals each day and a dessert here or there. I’m amazed by being able to eat delicious wholesome meals without having to be so strict. I just worked hard to sit down eat, eat enough and stop mindlessly snacking. Most of the pounds just melted off. In hindsight, all of my mindless snacking was not elegant.
I have to disagree with point number 1. After having children, I struggled with my weight. I do not snack, I sit at my dining table for every meal, and I eat healthy. I also dress well. In fact I agree with all of the points in this video with the exception of the first. This first point comes off as a bit rude and judgmental, two of the least chic attributes of any person.
