As requested, I made an opposite themed video "5 Things I Dislike About Foreign Guys // Dating Culture in Japan". Check it out! ► ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-1BZqbpX-t7w.html Also, if you want help in dating Japanese girls, check out my dating advice service 🥳 Wing-woman by Asagi's Life asagislife.stores.jp/ Wing-woman got your back 👍
I speak Japanese pretty good, I have a job offer in Japan and I want to know is trying to date in Japan just not worth trying as a foreigner. It’s in Kyoto and I know there are not many western people outside Tokyo.. I am moving and if the job works out wall I might live there for years. I’m a widow and I’m 32 and have a 14 year old son. How will I be viewed because of that. I don’t want my son to feel like more of an outsider than what he will be anyway.
@@jonathanhughes8679, Kyoto is on the the outskirts of Tokyo. Your basically in Tokyo. I think it will be good and that they will not look down on you. It would be a great experience for your son as well. You just have to be open to new experiences and foods, as well as your son. I enjoyed my time in Japan. My fiancé lives in Tokyo and from my experience the Japanese are very cool. Very polite and respectful. No matter what we will always be foreigners, but from what I see the younger generation are much more open. I think you would like it.
A rather informative discussionary topic thank you for investing your time and energy into creating this rather than for just the dynamic just people in general just need to know this kind of thing if they ever want to have a particular relationship with a Japanese girl. Hope everyone has a nice time.
I am a bit late to this discussion but here are my opinions anyway. ......... Number 5 is the most important! If each partner treats the other with respect and honesty all of the other 4 items on your list fall into place. Honesty promotes harmony. Respect for you as an individual allows you (not me!) to dress anyway that you like. You as an individual are not a puppet or a mannequin for anyone (including me!) to try and control any of your actions or feelings. Honesty and respect also does not imply that you must try to guess what my feelings are. If I am not happy with anything I should not be upset with you, and if I am upset with something you did then it should be discussed with mutual respect and honesty. I regret to say that it really doesn't matter what nationality anyone is these types of issues exist. Many unhappy relationships could be resolved with honesty and respect of each other. I hope that you find someone who honors, and respects you for who you are. Your partner should be your best friend and you should always communicate with them no matter what the issues are.
Gf looks to be in a bad mood. Me: what’s the matter, honey Gf: nothing, can’t you read the air? Me: of course I can, it’s currently 17mil/h wind speed, 70% humidity....
I think that read the air thing also apply to other asian countries,may be their partner want more attention or something because the longer relationship,the less curiosity about their partner
I’m certain ways you could say something like that, but Japan does a lot of things better than some western countries including America(the work expectations could use a change though, a bit concerned for people’s well being)
Really Asagi? That seems weird. Well I guess you never can tell about this sometimes. 'You can please some of the people sometimes.But you can't please all the people all of the time' , or something like that.
oh boy the leftist, the ones who see racism in everything. Watch out these assholes are insane, best way to deal with them is to ignore them and never ever apologise or back down they won't leave you alone if you do
As an Asian guy I thought I was gonna get bothered by this video but then I realized your problems with Japanese guys are actually pretty similar to my problems with western girls
Western girls are wanting mind readers. It's easy if you think with your heart, have good intuition, and can spiritual feel the vibrations in the air. If not, good luck lol.
I think "reading the air" is probably the biggest challenge for American guys who are looking to date traditional Japanese women. I remember my ex-gf being frustrated that I never picked up on her hints when she was upset about something. I think discussing communication styles are very important in international relationships.
Communication, discussing things in the open two way format works. I would think much better than 'reading the air', or mindreading techniques. What am I thinking now? I bet no one has a clue! And justifiably so. We are people not sorcerers or magical beings that know all by peering into ones mind. Ha ha! Communication breakdown & so does relationship, or anything for that matter.
Yeah maybe it works perfectly when they are both Japanese who are good at reading the air. But in interracial relationships that most likely won't go well 😕
@@cornheadahh All the girls are like that.. My wife when she was 17 years, though that I can read her mind, I was going crazy, CRAZY on why she was reacting that way or the other. With time, we discussed that we should tell each other what we truly think, coz nobody reads minds in our family.
In any relationship I think it's toxic to except the other person to read your mind, give one word or curt answers, and/or give the silent treatment. I prefer the direct method - which you can still be kind with. I am a Canadian and my husband is a "western" man and he fits this description. I need physical affection. Pouring tea is not the same as a hug. I also need words of affirmation. I hope that with the knowledge of other cultures that people in any culture question why they do things the way that they do. Much of it is influenced by the society around them.
I'm Canadian and prefer the Japanese way. My wife (Japanese) and I have been married for 30 years and have 5 kids, all who are healthy, happy individuals. The "reading the air" aspect of our relationship hasn't hampered our romantic or social lives one iota. Neither of us lacks in confidence, either in ourselves or in each other's affection for one another.
Pretty much anyone giving you their opinion on something is going to give you a one sided opinion. Whilst what she is saying is true, that Japanese people are on the whole like this compared to Americans, you could probably say the same about many other countries compared to Americans. You are most likely imagining everything she has said from the frame of reference of your own normals, which isn't really fair to Japanese people. Japanese people grow up in this society and have normalised to it. A lot of Japanese people would feel uncomfortable if you hugged them, that doesn't make them somehow worse than western people. In fact in Japanese culture it's not really about pouring a cup of tea or whatever, it's about being aware of what other people are thinking and feeling, in many ways Japanese people can be much more caring than western people. I don't think that was your intention, but that is the implication. Also, as a Brit I take offence to the idea of pouring a cup of tea not being the same as a hug, a cuppa cures anything, well known fact you know ;) .
a woman losing interest in you is a pretty painful experience, especially if you've been with them for a length of time, kind of amusing that when women leave you they expect you to be sympathetic to their reasons for why they don't love you anymore, but when you break up with them instead they call you a piece of shit, you must of cheated on her, how could you simply not love them anymore, they never talk to you again and then hook up before breaking up with some random guy after a week just to feel better about themselves and not feel insecure, double standards really are one of nature's good ones, an evolutionary punchline, this is whole thing is just hypothetical
I am so fed up with that type of behavior, that even if i notice, i would pretend i didn't. And if she gets angry, i would normally say sarcastically: "Oh my, looks like you are upset. I hadn't seen it coming". Or... i merely leave her alone and ditch her immediately in the process. Normally, you notice that pretty early, so it is better to do that in the beginning rather than after suffering it for months. Because it will never end.
@@AsagisLifeNoBSJapan either way... it depend on how old are you... when you get older and you still act like teenager.. most people would just either walk around or waiting for you to left their messange app...
@Mina M Honestly, there is no problem with having multiple relationships. Its very unlikely that you find the right person from the start. Also I doubt any even halfway decent man cares about how many previous relationships you had or if you are a virgin... I would say if they care, they clearly aren't in love with you anyway.
If both partners have the same expectation why is it unhealthy? You're supposed to put effort into understanding your partner, not waiting for a blow-up.
@@rsmith02 It's unfair because it is forcing the significant other to do mental gymnastics to understand the partner. Besides, a lot of times people will interpret the wrong message when trying to read the air because they aren't super-genius mind readers.
I dated a Chinese girl who I had to "read the air" for and that was pretty frustrating. I'm great at reading the air, but the worst part was that I'd really have to sit down with her and ask her what was wrong. It would take a long time for her to tell me. It was just exhausting, and partially why I broke up with her!
@@roselylez The double standard... if I didn't ask her what was wrong people think I don't care about her, but when I ask her what's wrong, I'm pushy. Some people just want it all, don't they? Either way, what you said isn't true. She definitely appreciated it, she just had a hard time expressing how she felt due to how she'd been treated by her parents as a child. It was no fault of her own.
@@roselylez "Pushy", for eastern asians even breathing heavily is too pushy. You can't be politely confrontational about anything without being too "pushy". I highly prefer openly straightforward honest answers even when harsh than passive-aggressive manipulative silence. I love many things about East Asia but surely not this mentality.
@@jackieyo6128 don't get me wrong I totally understand that. I'm just saying when you can't adapt this mentality then of course it's gonna be more challenging for you to date the asian girl you liked. It's never a right or wrong thing! The different cultures are just as important as yours(or as mine). 😀
@@totallyfake2852I'm glad that you're talking nice about her and I believe that!! it's just two different concepts of "what people think" and "what you want to do".... Why do how other people think would over how she thinks? Treat her as how she wanted to be treated, not as how others telling you. - that's the tip I gave to my boyfriend lol
Every single person has a type they find attractive for one reason or the other. This could be status, wealth, physical appearance, or just something you can’t explain. No one should ever have to explain their preference. However, I am an American living in Japan and I married a wonderful Japanese woman. She never thought she would date or much less marry a foreigner, but we just hit it off and after two years we got married, now for 5 years. Still to this day she finds it difficult to show PDA in public, even hand holding, but she is getting better.
Agree. I married a Thai Girl 10 years ago and she didn't like any PDA at all, until she realized that was normal ( we have been living in Australia ). Now she is OK with Holding Hands and Hugging in Public, but Kissing is just too much for her. I'm from South America ( Venezuela ) and over there when you are in a relationship with a girl is really physical in public. I like my Thai Girl so much, that I have accomodate my manners to her culture.
in other word... you not going sexy time.... boring.. what are you preteen... when you start dating it not the same with just had a friend to talk to...
Nab Sharma You totally can so long as your patient & truly care about someone. If you can’t find yourself loving someone of a different culture, religion, view of the world, etc, don’t date those people. It’s that simple.
@@shawnsedor2157 It's not about love after a point, it's about understanding their jokes, their culture, vibing with their relatives, agreeing on how to bring up your child, etc. When sexuality isn't such a big part of your life, although you love them, you want someone you can talk to, who will understand exactly where you're coming from. If you have very close friends who can satisfy that need, great.
I live here. Most Japanese men are WAY too feminine. Common peeves: They won’t approach They expect the woman to make the first move “Why can’t she see I’m a decent man/good catch” They tend to overly avoid confrontation
I told my wife 30 years ago "If you catch yourself thinking 'I should do this' stop, ask yourself 'is this something I want to do and is it the right thing or is this just something I feel pressured to do.' If it's the latter, let it go and don't do it. Be responsible, but be yourself."
It’s not just you, my wife is Dominican and says a lot of the same things. It’s just different cultures and there is nothing wrong with preferring a certain behavior pattern over another. It doesn’t mean one culture is better over the other it just means you personally are attracted to one type over the other... which is fine.
You made some interesting points there which made me self-reflect about how I think. Like when you explained how Japanese men expect you to read their feelings. I realised I do the same with my wife (I'm British by the way). So it's interesting how I have certain asian qualities 😆 I think that if you have a good western guy that doesn't have severe psychological or emotional flaws then yeah he will have the qualities you described: honesty, respect, and wants you to be independent. But there are many people who have dependency issues, who abuse their partners and who can just fall out of love and treat their partners badly. Remember that in the US the divorce rate is ridiculous (you often hear that it's as high as 50% of marriages end in divorce). Also the western guys you have dated Asagi are biased towards the Japanese. They have a natural love for Japan and its people, so of course not only are they happy when they are dating you, but they will treat you well in general. But perhaps if you lived in the States, you would find that your experience is mixed, you will find both good and bad.
50 percent of marriages end in divorce ol because people aren’t afraid to get out of a bad relationship yeah and the rates used to be generally lower because they were afraid to leave an abusive relationship and yes I agree
Divorce rate is likely higher due to lower birth rates as well. People are less likely to divorce if they have kids because humans likely subconsciously know that raising a child without both biological parents is a HUGE hindrance to that child. Just one contributing factor.
That "read the air" thing is not just a part of Japanese culture. It is a pattern that can be found in most people anywhere, dealing with some sort of childhood trauma. A person needs their boundaries to be respected but lacks self-confidence to advertise boundaries effectively before crossed. Then after unknown boundaries are crossed, because of the frustration from the lack of authenticity, it quickly escalates to anger and feeling disregarded by the partner, even if it was all in fact about the disregard for self. It is a result of being treated like you don't matter from a very young age. So, yeah, it is cultural, but it is also a natural human behavior resulting from certain circumstances. In the west, we are going to therapy to get over this urge and it is considered toxic and immature in relationships.
eight reasons why japanese people doestn't make good friends at all: firstly, they make no effort to speak other languages and anyway when we try to speak Japanese, they make fun of our accents and they don't forgive bad pronunciations Second, they refuse to show their feelings, even if we are polite, kind and respectful. just because they refuse to put us in their friendship circle for some reason (actually it's only when they're drunk, scandalous) third, they love to criticize others behind their backs. they judge you without knowing you, they don't give us a chance. they don't tell about our mistakes, how can we improve. fourth, they feel a horrible need to have many partners for selfish reasons. Fifth, they treat foreigners like walking dictionaries/wallets sixth, even though they have many cultural flaws and assume bad things about foreigners, they still fear being criticized by them for some reason, while we do it for a good reason. Seventh, they easily judge our appearance while it's not our fault we are built like that "buuuuh taller or older foreigners = bad people" eigth , they refuse to meet people online. and they refuse to invite people into their homes I love Japan, for what it has naturally, but I don't understand why its people are so well regarded around the world. don't bother me with annoying comments like "nyeeeeeh there are people like them all over the world"
I've lived in Japan for over 10 years, my wife is Japanese. You are so right about so many things in this video Asagi-san. My wife often expects me to read the air as well, and she is not comfortable with lots of PDA either. LOL
It’s not only in relationships, but also at your workplace. Especially older generation…everyone expects “reading the air”. Super silly…and yet they need thousands of meetings for the sake of future meetings before anything is done. And in the end, still lot of confusion, double/triple/quadrupple checking.
Asagi, you have the right to choose your relationship. Lovely and open to sharing ideas, you can communicate with more people. Traditional conversation in Japan depends so much on restraint, subtle cues and direction by indirection. Yes, those of us raised in the West express ourselves more directly. Asagi, you look lovely just the way you are. 😍
Thank you very much for your insight and perspective. I am an American guy who has recently become involved in a relationship with a Japanese woman that lives in near Tokyo.. I want to understand her as much as I can and your video has helped me enormously . Thank you!
Not autistic women luckily haha. I genuinely don't know what a person wants unless they say so. "Reading the air" is such a scary concept to me bc I can barely even read facial expressions so I absolutely need people to be blunt with me. Problem is; this makes me super blunt as well. Tldr autistic american girls > regular American girls B)
@Young Baller Sorry bro. Let me explain the situation then. I said "if you like display of affection, you should try Hispanic guys". Meaning that from those "foreigners", hispanics are quite expressive in the affection department. Then you said "Bro she said foreigners so basically everyone but not Japanese". Which makes make think you are trying to invalidate or negate what I'm trying to say. If that is not the case then I apologize. I don't understand what was the point of your comment. Cheers, have a nice day.
I honestly don't believe that we are different than the rest of the world in that department, inside doors might really be different, but outside? Like, we are not tongue kissing or gropping everyone in public
@@Hanex94 Yes, we are different. I have seen in public exactly what you are describing. Of course not to everyone, with their respective boyfriend/girlfriend
Thank you for giving us some insight into your thinking about cross-cultural relationships and communication, Asagi. One of the things I've always liked about you is that you defy many stereotypes about Japanese people; in particular, I appreciate how open and honest you are. I hope this video goes viral because it is very, very good, in my opinion! 😎👍
1. Direct communication: true, but there is a negative side - you HAVE to literally say something, it is difficult for Westerners to notice otherwise, exactly because they are used to depending on direct communication. 2. Visual affection: true - this is because Asians are too interested in others' perceptions of them. (However, younger Asians are often less so; they tend to get more so with age.) 3. Less expectations for appearance: true - again, too many set expectations from others' perceptions. 4. Respect and honesty: not so sure about this one - cheaters cheat in both West or East, but communication styles are different, and also self-justification is different, too. 5. Don't take for granted: try getting married and having kids - your perspective may change.
Asagi...Thanks for the discussion. We Americans do let out what we are thinking. Sometimes it gets to be too much. Not every thought or feeling needs to be spoken, written or tweeted. Some of the best words are those not spoken. However, I would find it frustrating not being able to show affection. Which is nonverbal communication!
Love it! The explanation you gave concerning the patriarchal architecture is similar to my culture. Latinos call it being "Macho" or having "Machismo behavior." People need affection and displaying that to one another, is important. Also, being respectful and having the ability to express concerns to your partner is paramount. Best of luck on your journey.
Asagi-san, you articulated well some of the more positive attributes that Western people hold dear. Your video is a good compliment to some of Yuta's interviews on the street. Also, your end card where you are striking a dance pose without makeup is very appealing as you look very good without makeup.
one of the kinda true stereotypes in america is that guys here who try to date japanese girls tend not to have had much (or any) luck with american women, or they think they will get a more demur partner. not all guys of course, just something to watch out for.
This was classic! I was stationed in Japan for five years (Army captain) and it was so hard coordinating with the JGSDF (Japanese Ground Self Defense Force) through our Japanese interpreter. He would never directly ask what we wanted. My fellow captain stationed in my unit was fluent in Japanese. He shortened the 3 day planning conference to 1 day! It was great! I'm not a subscriber..keep up the great work!
@@heathers7265yes lol but not necessarily, it's only because japanese women have more realistic standards lol, so...you could say that japanese women are more like western men while japanese men are more like western woman lol, strange to think about
I really value direct communication and one of the things that I like to do is to chat with my Japanese friends openly. I'll let them know that they can ask anything and I won't be offended; that they can be completely at ease with me. Its fine for them to say no and be direct about it, instead of using phrases like "oh, that is very difficult". It helps to build trust and lasting friendships, too, not just dating.
I case you don’t understand translate this -Admiro la forma en que expresas tus preferencias y que fuiste capas de salir de tu cultura para encontrar tu felicidad.
I aso think there's another reason why you like to date foreign men Asagi, because foreign men would like dating you because you have natural beauty, regardless what you wear, your very honest, extremely polite, and say things straight to the point and not play around being a little girl in a woman's body, and your very aware of another's feelings, its called maturity as all relationships need to be worked on and not taken for granted. Lovely video, and yes brilliant English. Thank you for your effort making this video.
You’re fine as wine girl. Enjoy being yourself and exploring other cultures. You don’t need to worry about all these guys getting offended. You just gained a sub because I think you’re great.
We are not equals. We all have a role. The trick is not to make your role more important than that of your partner. Also dont think you can do the role of your partner eg being a mother figure as a man. Different roles, important roles, no upper and lower roles but very important - you are not same.
@@theartemisgland You said it precisely! As unique and irreplaceable beings there is no equality among each other and only respect to our uniqueness makes us free minded people living peacefully with others.
@@theartemisgland we are equals. Everyone is equal to one another, but it is their upbringing that makes each other unique. You may not like it, but it is true.
@@theartemisgland Thanks for your input I understand your view, it is a macro perspective. Maybe I was not clear in my wording but I was talking about the micro perspective, the role between two partners or individuals, in the sense that one does not have to play a role (as something absolute/decided by society) for example; one has to be the sole provider and the other has to be the carer. I think there exists duality in individuality, so there should be room for duality in these roles. I hope I was a bit more clear now.
Ooof yeah, trying to mind read is the worst. I know it can be done depending on your connection with the person but it was always hard for me. Yes!! Honesty is everything in my opinion, to me, honesty is the main building block for a solid foundation in a relationship. This was very interesting to learn from your perspective. I see a lot of what you saw in Japanese men that I saw in American men. This was a great video, thank you for your perspective :)
People are attracted to different things and have different preferences. This can mean preferences based on ethnicity, height, body type or hair and eye color. Anyone who says that they “don’t have a preference” most of the time they just don’t realize that they actually do. They claim that they don’t have a preference but you show them a picture of a group of people and their brain will tell them which person is the most attractive person in that group.
This was so insightful. Before I met my current boyfriend (he's German and we're both grew up and live in Germany) I was really interested in dating Asian guys but I was very hesitant because of those very intense cultural differences in relationships. Only ever saw one Chinese guy for a "fun" date and it was the weirdest experience ever but also eye-opening that people from all over the world are so incredibly different.
I am Yonsei (4th generation American of Japanese ancestry) from Hawaii. My cultural practices are hybrid Japanese-American-Hawaiian. Very unique and unknown to most Japanese ladies. So far, I’ve been well received in my dating experiences with Japanese ladies. Mostly positive and they are fascinated by my unique ways while still having some Japanese ways preserved. My biggest challenge is developing my telepathy and radar skills to “read the air” and understand what a Japanese lady is thinking.
lol yeah don't generalise something because you heard a random youtuber said it. It's true that the Japanese are less direct but this goes for the women as well, the Japanese women are probably even more so indirect.
What i found difficult in a relationship with a foreigner was determining if differences were due to personality or culture background. There can be a lot of fundamental differences in culture that (if you're not aware of them) can become the source of arguments. Asagi says she likes to be direct in her communication. While i think that is typicaly a western thing, i do find a lot of westerners not being that direct. So that comes down to personality, but culture does play a role in it too. Dating within your own culture already can be challenging. Let alone dating someone with an entirely different background. :)
im in a relationship with Japanese guy and i understand what she is saying but again , just like her there are other Japanese people who dont fit into the Japanese culture , so im glad i found him as we express things all the time and know the importance of respect and loyalty. But i understand from previous relationships. Again, western men and woman have their own flaws too . Its all about being with someone who is at the same level as you.
Japanese people always fit with their culture. The problem is that their culture is no longer taught to them to fit them in. What do you understand about culture now? the truth is that it comes from that racial group of people that formed and shaped it according to their own nature. A Japanese that rejects his own culture is betraying this. He can only be considered Japanese by blood but it has become a traitor and a cosmopolitan.
I don't know about japanese guys but not all foreigners do respect women. You'll find good people if you search everywhere I think but stay cautious. Where I live, i feel like most men know how to pretend to be a good guy to get what they want (but there is a lot of good guys anyway).
Maybe that’s just the kind of the guys your gf met. I’ve met plenty westerners who didn’t respect women or people in general. But I ain’t gonna generalise
1. The word you were/are looking for is telepathy/telepathic. It's not region or gender-specific, it's a personality trait. But it can be enpowed/conditioned to become a cultural trend. 2. Open affection is also a personality trait. 3. Appearance: western society focuses on etiquette more than your daily fashion decision 4. Honesty: That is based on an individual's value/upbringing. Unless you dated enough to form a pool for standard deviation to give a bell curve, then it's individual. 5. Take a relationship for granted. Sorry to disagree, in general, that is also based on an individual's value. It's not a western/eastern factor.
How can I get your comment on top? XD Yeah, I think this video was pretty prejudiced against both Japanese and Western men. Every country has all the types of qualities described because everyone has different personalities (like duh!). Also, the way people express themselves in love is also different. It has nothing to do with gender or country lol.
I have found that a few of my friends (Japanese and some non-Japanese who have spent time in Japan) have said literally the same exact things that you've just touched on Asagi-san, I've personally wanted to try dating a Japanese women because I feel that many of the values would be the same and the cultural exchange would be an exciting adventure for both partners. i'm considering staying with a host family and this reassures me about that decision (at least in the social department) I have a fear of the isolation I may feel moving from American to stay with any host in japan. Thank you for sharing!
I once found a bird on a stair step. I almost stepped on it by accident. It looked weak with feathers ruffled, wings drooped, and hardly moving. It just sat there looking around slowly, helplessly, but unresponsive despite my big foot that could have crushed or kicked it easily. I stopped another person from almost stepping on it too. The bird needed help. No one was helping. I brought it some water and some bread crumbs. I wanted to see it be a bird and live it's bird life. I sat there alongside it, guarded it, and kept it company. The bird drank the water and ate the crumbs. After some time, it stood on its tiny feet again, took a step, then another, and then hopped. It shook itself and unruffled its feathers. Then it chirped, spread it's wings, and flew away to sing it's song once more. I was happy. I never wanted to see that bird there again... Afterwards, I celebrated and had chicken for dinner.
Thank you for talking about your experiences. Hearing you talk about dating and how you view Japanese social norms is very interesting and informative! I've found a lot of videos talking about Japanese culture seem to really focus on generalities, which paints a picture that really lacks nuance, so I really appreciated your video.
Indonesian to Japan is foreigner. Indian (india) to Japan is a foreigner. Chillian to Japan is a foreigner. So on and so forth. Chinese have a whole different set of behaviors and mindsets etc, Chinese from mainland CCP controlled China is still a foreigner when in Japan. Taiwanese, still. A foreigner. Hmong, still a foreigner. Miao, still a foreigner. Heck, see how Japanese people treated the Ainu over the years and how they treated those from Okinawa etc
@Spanna Banna Jamaican is a nationality, not an ethnicity. There's White, Asian, and even Black Jamaicans. If you were really Jamaican you would know this.
Asagi, your reasoning is very honest and I love your accent. When you publicly show your (small) difficulties in english pronunciation, it's quite charming an cute. And your videos are really interesting, rich and respectful. Thanks!!!
Wow, I lived in Japan for a number of years, and honestly, I never thought that deeply about it. However, now that you mention it, I can see how many of these things like the communication and the drive for harmony are true. Just those two things along, I think would be great reasons to date Western guys. On the other hand, I met a lot of foreign guys in Japan who were cheating on their girlfriends. :-( Za nen ne?
"Read the air" is the same in English. We have the same expression. Of course, Westerners do a good deal of that as well. Good video! I understand your thinking.
Personally, I think foreigners or people who are "global citizens" tend to be better people in general. This isn't saying that people who stay in their safe zones are bad, it's just that normally, when people are exposed to viewpoints outside of their own, it's an instinctive reaction to adapt. This attempt to adapt could possibly build empathy in the person. Thank you for attending my TED Talk.
Yes, that is why i believe experiencing massive cultural shocks, as a European, by going to Japan is not pointless. Even if for someone like me, it is probably bound to become true Hell.
It's cool to have your point of view. Would be curious also if you encountered some special difficulties dating with foreigners (culture issues). Also, you said in the video it was your point of view but i would like to remind that not all foregners (obviosuly) are honest and trustful ( i heard a lot of cheating stories even here) so stay all cautious !
Totally relate to this & its not just Japanese culture but a cultural one in the Far East. I fully relate to what Asagi says ( I married a Chinese woman and much of what she says resonates in relation to Eastern & Western cultures). Western men are more open and expressive when it comes to showing their feelings and affection to women, when dating and years beyond. They (generally) treat women with high respect, like to compliment them, buy them things (flowers, gifts) appreciate them as they are and love them because of that. Its about mutual respect and they like women to be themselves. They also know that "its a two way relationship" and it is down to the Man to make the effort to date, win the heart of (very important) and love of the woman and treat her well after that. Its, I guess, that Western approach to dating is quite open and shows of affection are open and public (eg holding hands, kissing, cuddling, even in public - this is a affirmation of their love). Very interesting video and thanks for posting.
My boyfriend is a rare piece 😂. He even shows me off to his dentist, hugs and express his affection in public plus say the forbidden 愛してる word. On the other hand, he’s not talk ative and do what the majority does without even thinking about it and never express his own opinion and only listens to me ........ upsetting 😂😂. I think as a society member he’s totally into Japanese culture but when it comes to dating he’s totally off.
Gosh, I like your kind of way, your video clip. I'm Swiss and fell in love with Fumikimi, a most beautiful person and women. We met and lived about 8 month in London, many, many years ago. Finally she had to go back to Japan and later on I visited her in Tokyo to see if I could somehow stay and even emigrate to Japan, to be and to have a life together with her. But I was very confused when I met her in Tokyo. She was a complitly different person and woman as I met, knew and loved in London. Her way of talking, how she moved, how she looked and most important she did not talked to me any more, like we used to do in London. With a broken heart I let left Japan and her. Please keep on with your clips, they just great.
Asagi, thank you for sharing your experience. Can you also make another video about the opposite? Like what bothers you most when you date a foreign guy as well. Just curious about it. Thank you
I am Japanese but I also grew up in America. I am child of both worlds. I do understand what you mean with us Japanese men. Most of us are reticent. This is the way we are brought up and most of us prefer it this way because otherwise we feel weaker if we declare our inner thoughts. At the same time, I find it ridiculous as well because I understand we are social creature and in order live healthier life, we need to be social and be honest when deem fits.
It is strange, because in France, we probably believe that daring to state one's inner thoughts and feelings at times is a proof of strenght and confidence rather than weakness. Japanese guys have to go through the confession process, and doing that is a proof of courage, too. People who are confident like that are simply more attractive to women than those who never dare anything. Both men and women. Except if Japan is an exception, it is possible after all. Where i live, not daring to show feelings and affection is unthinkable, and stating openly inner thoughts is ok, because necessary for any kind of relationship. Not daring to do so would be a sign of cowardice and make people pile scorn upon you, actually. That is what we call a "wet blanket". So, i don't really understand why japanese would think the way you describe. Unless it is tied to this tradition to communicate through elaborate guess games. But in this case, one can't really talk about this particular detail without considering the whole of japanese social ways.
8:03 Western dating culture is pretty awful, though it’s in very different ways. I’ll say, my past experiences were a lot like this, just coming from the perspective of a guy.
Mindreading expectations are frustrating in any interpersonal relationship. The whole exchange of 'whatever idk' would be especially infuriating to someone like me, because I'm honestly extremely indifferent on stuff that has little consequence, like where one goes for food.
Just two pieces of personal opinion for this video. 1. Date who you want to. It's your life, your choices. Love who you love without apologies. You need no more reasons then that. 2. Congrats on your boyfriend. Hope for the best for you two.
Nice video. I like how you didn't hide struggling with the word "patriarchal". You tried until you got it right. I respect that you didn't hide it through editing your mistake. As I'm a new viewer of your channel, it makes me feel that you're super honest and not pretentious. You've got a new subscriber in me!
You should start a dating service for other people looking for the same qualities in a partner that you seek. I myself am looking at moving to Japan once business picks up again for me.
I am applying for the JET program. So, I am just waiting on whether or not I get an interview or not. I had to fill out the application and get all the paperwork done in one week while having to completely redo a research paper for a senior level Economics class like 5 times in the same week. It was a nightmare.
It’s really interesting to get these observations and thoughts from a Japanese woman about Japanese culture. I’m sure it’s not the same, but the Japanese idea of keeping social harmony reminds me of the American or western idea of being strong for others. Like, bottling up your emotions so that it doesn’t inconvenience or hurt those around you. That idea is often rejected by some younger people, and it sounds like Japanese younger people also reject some of the older cultural norms of their society.
Interesting information about the Japanese culture, in reference to automatically knowing what someone else is thinking. Hah, that wouldn't work for me either. If someone has something on their mind, then I prefer that they share their thoughts so we can talk it out.
Reasons why I wanna date a Japanese Girl: 1: Never gonna give you up 2: Never gonna let you down 3: Never gonna run around and desert you 4: Never gonna make you cry 5: Never gonna say goodbye *You just got rickrolled*
Indirect communication drives me crazy. I'm not a mind-reader. And, some people are so passive-aggressive. You are so articulate (and, of course, kawaii - you are gorgeous). I love your free spirit. Keep being you!
I find it extremely ironic that your first pet peeve about Japanese guys, is my pet peeve about Western girls!! I feel many Western girls tend to give guys the silent treatment when they are mad about something and we are somehow supposed to magically divine what happened or what we did (and more importantly, when we did it!!!). In the end, you just have to try and see if it works or not. (or just stay single and spend your time on improving yourself)
@@entyropy3262 not entirely. But getting "comfy" can make you start taking things and people for granted. Get lazy, stop trying, showing affection less often and just not really putting in effort. It's a pretty normal thing for people.
@@9usuck0 Showing less attention and caring less is imo not in any way related to comfort. It is instead related to disintegration. Idk why people mean the one thing and say the other in this case.
