5 Signs It’s Breadcrumbing, NOT LOVE 

Nope

No

No 😭

Mayhaps

no lmao

These are very true

Gotta cold turkey or go toxic 😢

Avoids all tactile connection kisses in particular,likes unavailable men,likes distant friendships,dosnt encourage visiting their home

U just described my ex and we had met through app too

when you are certain, consistent, future "faking" planning, highly invested, luke warm (never hot and cold), then you are officially classified as needy, desperate or, a certified bore.

its common now to dating out of boredom, we genuinely want someone for the long run. but most are looking for accompany when they bored or want something. id say, find someone who have same goal as you. its hard but i believe there someone out there who sees us as someone they want to have their life with

​Not necessarily the same goal. Try to be friend with someone you find attractive, then eventually ask them if they want to date you. That's how relationships work, they are based on friendship. Do not try to rush a long term relationship, start slow, partner 😄 ​@@bloodfae

Have you thought about skipping the paper work? Now a days you need like 15+ plus years to even consider it :/

Literally same

Yes everyone want relationship for 3 years and then break up

So this!!!!! 💛💪🏾

Exactly ❤

As my friends put it: "you refuse to negotiate with terrorists" 💪

Spot on !

exactly

I hope and pray it works out for you..

@@funkysawmanwright5077 Thank you! I'm doing fine!

Ditto. Same here...Just after the divorce, the breadcrumber told me that it is the universes attempt to bring us together... But he had all the qualities mentioned in the video... The moment I stood up to him and called out his behavior, he ran at full speed!!!

Ghosting is a tactic Breadcrumbers use i wouldn't be bragging about that.

Same. But I spent two years gobbling up any crumb dropped before I ghosted him just recently. I hope I eventually have a happy ending like yours.

And being led on

Yes. I was being led on. Not anymore! He is blocked forever...

bread-crumbing to me is worse than playing mind games, b/c the other person is giving you just the bare minimum to keep you in the relationship knowing full well they have no intention of having a relationship/commitment w/ you.

People with NPD, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, do this.

Thats also tough , Memories makes me anxious everytime, not able to focus. How to deal with that?

@@dorthyplants You have to realize and recognize that you deserve more than what this person is giving you. This may be a person that your really into but there not into you like that. When a person loves you it's a whole different feeling.

That's because she was a narcissist. I went through it too.

Yeah too many possibilities of why she was doing it to even torture yourself about it, and thought you would do that. Ghosting her and cutting off communication is how to go about it and I understand it will take time to forget, fortunately there's millions of good looking and awesome girls to go around.

My ex G.F did all that !

Maybe she had an avoidant attachment style. Look it up

@patriot-hj5vx Then why get into a relationship and lead him on. That makes things worse.

I told my most recent situationship. “You will change for someone you think is work changing for . You don’t believe I’m worth changing for “

They’re so effing manipulative to the point where you’re always convinced that you are the problem and they treat you terribly when you finally catch on to their game and walk away. The manipulation can be so damn subtle that you always think you’re the problem when in reality they’re just playing games with you out of immaturity!

@@friedkake1876 damn and was it easy to walk away from? How long did it have to go on before you made the decision?

@@danielpam6310 when I tell you it wasn’t easy it wasn’t easy. I had created a fantasy version of her that I was happy with when in reality she was emotionally unavailable and manipulative. She also liked to play a lot of head games. The last straw for me was when she started to express her attraction towards “ Dilfs “ while she had called me at 12 am and woke me up out of my sleep. ( this became a regular occurrence of her only giving me time to talk late at night. This is a red flag if someone only makes time to talk to you late at night ) it made everything click. It takes a lot of mental fortitude, self compassion, and self respect to walk away from self serving people that you love , because deep down you know that they won’t change for you and that they don’t feel the same but they will dangle a carrot ( breadcrumbimg ) to keep you hoping that there’s something more. It can be weaponized intimacy , gas lighting , or overt manipulation. If you accept reality for what it is ( very difficult when you’re prone to limerence - romantic obsession) you begin to see the patterns and what’s been happening to you? Seeing people for who they are objectively and how they view you is a huge step in moving away from people that only want to hurt and abuse you. It is not easy but when is doing the right thing ever easy ? Be nice to yourself , feel your pain :) don’t use things like porn , sex , or drugs to self medicate cause those leave you feeling worse. I hope I dropped some knowledge sorry for the long message

@@danielpam6310 I dated her for 9 months but it took me 11 months to catch on. Don’t be like me 😂

Reciprocity is a good one

Thank you for being one of the better people out there, I refuse to date anyone else in this day and age because it’s typical for most people to not know the bare minimum and that’s literally all I ask, but some people can’t even do that so I rather stay independent and rely on myself.

What do you mean you don't want your partner to end up being manipulative? You're saying you can make them turn into being manipulative? I often thought people are manipulative simply because they are due to upbringing

@hananez7681 What I mean is that often manipulative people often seem nice at first, but as the relationship develops, they slowly get more toxic and manipulative and not who you were expecting them to turn out. That's what I meant when I said I don't want a manipulative partner

@@MistyDrop26 I see. I actually just got out of a relationship with someone who turned out to be manipulative and rather toxic. And sometimes I wonder if possibly it's my fault, that maybe I was the one that caused them to take that method of being manipulative

🥲

This was literally 2 of my friendships that lasted over 2 years, they did everything mentioned in the video. I'm still recovering from the damage that's been done even though it's been about 6 months, but it's been way better since then and I was able to meet new people including my best friend and they're probably the healthiest friendships I've ever had

That's very true 😢

@@toknowistolove I don't like to confront people, I feel like I'm overreacting (probably).

I’m going thru this with a friend

This is so true… If they wanted, they would have!

Accurate! Don't let someone's inconsistent behavior define your self- esteem.

Also this.💛😍

Best to know

It's good because it opens up your eyes so you are not left in suspense

congratulations!!

​@@jilyyyyy. Thanks! Our anniversary is today! 20 years!

❤

In the 90s (and long before that) it was called "leading someone on"

Remember your self-respect! Remember that you are worth more than this!

@@oldskoolaspie yes, eventually everyone finds that trail of crumbs that lead them to their cake in life...

Damn that was beautiful 🫠

A good person never breadcrumbing the others. She won't ever think about that because the really good people give a thousand thoughts for their actions and the effects to the others. She isn't kind or good.

I too am an empath and my distant avoidant would breadcrumb regularly but while on a call with her one day my empath radar detected a change in her speech pattern ,it was slower more pronounced and patronising,I worked it out she was multi tasking dureing our call,i bided my time then one day she accidentally called me by another man’s name ,enough was enough audios distant avoidant breadcrumber

Funny but that’s exactly what I told this woman who likes me to do for herself. I think she prefers breadcrumbs

I have been there and it is so emotionally draining. I don't get it why some people had to do this to others? for what joy? :(

What is the difference? Often, i watch vids like this and know that i or others I've known have displayed behaviour that's been presented in a negative light (as using, breadcrumbing, etc.) but because of trauma, neurodivergence, etc.. Often, i want to comment about this other aspect of reality, but I don't want to complicate things for viewers who are definitely in some sort of exploitive, unhealthy, or toxic situation.

​@@user-kt8vn6ip2w There isn't a difference, really. Bread crumbling is often done by the avoidants, though sometimes it is subliminal and unintended

@@user-kt8vn6ip2w Yes, my neurodivergent and avoidant BF does all these things and I just don't know how to take any of it. He really acts like he loves me when he's with me.

@@user-kt8vn6ip2wultimately, the truth is that manipulative tactics are manipulative tactics, and having trauma doesn’t exempt you from responsibilities you have to treat your fellow humans respectfully. No one is worthless or beyond help, and it’s good to recognize it when our trauma responses cause us to want to act in hurtful ways towards others - I’ve done it, too. Most people watching this video probably have at some point. We identify past behaviors that were suboptimal, we reflect on why we did those things, and we consider how we can make better decisions in the future. That’s how we learn and grow.

O.M.G. Queen... r u ok?? leave a man like that you dont deserve that. Keep your head high and your hopes higher than ever. 👑👑

I have a married woman i work with who is doing this to me. I lost my wife 2 years ago and its very difficult for me. I even told her if she only wants to be friends i have to set boundaries. Yet she constantly asks about my life like shes interested and asks me for help at work all the time when I specifically asked her not to because my wife always asked me for help when she was ill before she passed. I don't know how to get away from this unless i quit my job as I see her every night at work. Also she texts me and when i answer she takes hours to answer back. Or at all. I tried to quit texting her but she always does me now. :( Im trying to blow it off but honestly it hurts my heart because i feel something for her and shes just toying with me. I wish i hated her instead.

​@@dmace81She's married. She isn't changing her life to be with you. She's not clear with you. She disrespects your boundaries and knows her actions are putting you in a place of pain, because you told her. She's using that to keep you emotionally attached, because she knows you miss that from your wife. I don't think you should hate her, because she may have mental issues, but love yourself enough to tell her "no", "I don't want this kind of connection with you", "i'm not comfortable having a personal friendship/relationship with you", "keep things professional at work. I want to feel comfortable enough to stay in my position.".. etc.. If you believe you have done enough to make it clear to her, yet, she makes no changes to respect you or starts getting more aggressive, you should block her number and report her. She's borderlining harassment. You just have to tell her "no" to unreasonable requests or inquiries. How she reacts to that is on her. If you do want a relationship with her, you can tell her what it takes to get serious with you, and see if she obliges, but it doesn't sound like it's starting out good.

Update. I've ignored her texts and she's lost interest and treats me like crap like I don't exist. Now It kind of hurts but I'm glad I did it. Now she's doing same crap to the new guy they just hired. So it's obviously her not me. He got her brownies for her birthday. Yet barely knows her. Poor bastard. She has her claws in him now. I know it hurts but I can do better and deserve better. I guess that's what lot of these young 20 something women want. Just to get attention and then ignore you when they're tired of you.

@@dmace81 You can demand clarity. They can reject you for that, but it would be their loss.

Intention matters not If the impact is pain to innocent third parties

I agree here. I think there should be some attempt at tolerance and understanding when its accidental and not malicious/manipulating. If youre just starting to get to know each other, you just cant know. And everybody has their flaws and weaknesses. People may teach each other to overcome some of these flaws, mutually, as they start to bond as well. There are lots of ways to mess up accidentally without even realizing even if you are looking for genuine connection

Agree..my understanding of breadcrumbing is it’s a manipulative ploy to get you hooked so that the breadcrumber has some fun getting their ego stroked with your interest in them. It is never serious but meant to bring in supply for the narcissist breadcrumber who has zero interest in a real relationship. You’re just supply to them. It’s usage. Their feigned interest is geared to make you interested in them. They won’t throw out a piece of bread until you’re starting to notice the fade and fading out yourself. A good sign of this is you feel teased, like when someone offers a treat to a dog but never ever gives it, pretends to but pulls away. They take actual delight in torturing someone in this way. They love to see the submission. That’s what they’re going for…the ego boost, the power, the ‘’worship’’. I’ve seen some comments here from other posters and I think maybe they are misunderstanding the term…- if someone is contacting you sparsely it’s not necessarily breadcrumbing, though it can be annoying if they aren’t making any definitive moves towards you. Some people are unsure. They may like who you are and sort of keep you in rotation not out of malicious intent, but in hopes they themselves might become more clear on their own intentions and feelings about you. It’s typically not a great sign anyway that two people are ‘meant to be’, but some relationships can begin with rather blah beginnings. It’s best not to drag someone along though. Getting to know someone can take a lot of time and some people are really bad at both finding out who others are AND/OR figuring out their own emotions for someone and they can even be confused on how to handle it all.

❤

​@@zakosist💗

Breadcrumbing can be unintentional but is still breadcrumbing, the same with manipulation. Many people manipulate others unintentionally but it is still manipulation, just the intention is different. The advice should be to radically accept that the relationship is not healthy and to take active measures to change that, if the shy partner isn't willing to put on the effort there is nothing you can do except leave.

You sound like a breadcrumber. Stop playing with people's emotions you sick f**k. Go get therapy.

Nope,not at my and his age,late 60s,you dam well know what your doing to someone,snd hiw much it hurts,this is my first experience since my divorce,25 years ago,and you kniw what,it's horrible and painful at any age

​@@rosettesionne9139 Exactly, it doesn't matter if the other person do it intentionally or not, we must set boundaries in order to take care of us.

💗

it is okay to cry since you lost a loved one, but it is for the better, you will find someone who really loves you and won't breadcrumb

Good for you, I need to find courage and do the same.

Thank you, I really appreciate your support.

Same here. It's 2 years cut off him still not getting over from the horrid experience and he's married now. Sad but today's reality is such kind of people succeed in life.

Breadcruming is horrible, but just remember his rejection was your protection !! there is someone out there who deserves you !!

You reap what you sew!!

Been there done that … it’s best to respect yourself enough to walk away. You cannot convince someone to love you I learned that the hard way 9 months and thousands of dollars later lol. She had the nerve to tell me once “ black men don’t like to commit “ when I spent 11 months trying to commit to her and be close to her and she rejected me at every turn but enjoyed using me for my emotional support and unconditional love towards her…And also my money 😂

@@friedkake1876glad you walked away, people like that aren’t worth it

@@CatoTato they never are but they’re always the main ones trying to clear their conscience when they realize their wrongs

Was in that kind of relationship for 2 years. Broke me.

That’s so sad. You are quite handsome (if ur pic is of you) so I hope you are able to move on to someone who finds values you and celebrates your worth-! It’s a shame how it can be hard to meet people in real life, that is my problem right now as well. I wish you all the best-!!

Even if you haven't been in a relationship I feel that the same applies for making friends too, the friends you have that do make time for you, as in really make time for you and you regularly see them won't also try to breadcrumb you into a friendship too. Those, those are people worth keeping in my life.

Yes. Dont end up like me. Got engaged because he wanted to in the beginning in the end he decided he dont want to marry me just 3 months into the engagement after almost 2 years together. Always have this naggy feeling in me that he is not what he is. Should have run the moment his first red flag show.

I think I’m that guy, maybe not that specific guy, but I’m that guy with someone I consider a friend but given I’m away for long term don’t want to lead her on…she wants a commitment, so I am sporadic in how I communicate, tho am responding to her

You can't just stop liking him, but you can absolutely leave him high and dry and expect better for yourself. I swear to you, in five years, you'll be so immensely grateful you did it

You can not convince someone to like you or cherish you the way you do … when people show you who they are and how they view you you believe them the first time

We're in the same situation. I know I'm getting crumbs but i love him so much i cannot leave him 😢

@@rochellesonza6505 I think you can do it. It is so damn hard but remember that the version of him that you love is the fantasy version you created of him in order to keep yourself pursuing things with him in reality. You could probably say that we fall more in love with the fantasy version of that person and not necessarily the actual person

Yeah me too. This person in my life moves on Monday out of the city so it'll be over for good finally.

Thanks for sharing. It can take time to recognize what's best for ourselves, especially when emotions are involved. It's commendable that you eventually took that step to prioritize your own self-respect. What do you think helped you finally realize what needed to be done?

Exactly that… as soon as you spot those signs, for example someone messaging you only once in a while but not bothering with a real conversation, being distant, not committing any time or making any plans with you… just drop them 👍

Narcs are literally the worst

Same here. It turns out I've been breadcrumming people my whole life... they're better off without me.

I understand you, I've been doing the same my whole life... I didn't mean to hurt anyone but I still did it and I regret it so much...

You can always change! It doesn’t have to be that way! I think the first step is recognizing the problem and that’s what you’re doing! The next step would probably be choosing to be open with somebody that you feel comfortable with (close friend, family member etc.) and see how they react. If they react with an open heart and accept you, that’s AMAZING! ❤️❤️ If they don’t or notice that or maybe breadcrumb back, it’s probably a good idea to take a good look at that relationship. I hope that this helps! ❤️❤️

The first step is admitting this with yourself and seeing that it's a problem. So many people who do this have so much pride and are extremely entitled. They will never change. So i'm proud of you for admitting the problem. Now the step is to get professional help.

We hope this video helped you! It's understandable to feel discouraged after going through that repeatedly. Taking a break from dating sounds like a wise choice to focus on yourself. What do you plan to do during this time to take care of yourself?

It's great to hear that the video resonated with you and helped provide some clarity. Sometimes seeing those signs laid out can be a real eye-opener. Do you feel more confident moving forward now that you have a better understanding?

@@Psych2go After everything, I feel like I have a better understanding of myself now. I know that I need to work on my self confidence and how I view myself, but also I feel like I have a better understanding of what I'm looking for in a relationship now as well as what I'm looking for in a romantic partner.

Or more years

me too ♥

Skill issue

There seems to be a lot of people with some serious issues online these days especially on dating apps.

That's gaslighting and manipulation

It’s the best advice to be fair. If someone can’t be asked to give you their time and communicate, I would go no contact and stop responding & entertaining that person and I would eventually remove them from my life as much as possible. It’s a cruel thing to do when we care and want to grow the relationship (either romantically or in a friendship) for the other person to literally give us the crumbs of their attention back instead of being honest/breaking things off if they don’t wish to pursue anything. I have no time for people like that and they are the worst time wasters.

👏👏👏

Absolutely right, if they wanted to, they would… but instead they just want to play games while waiting for someone better to come along. People like that deserve to be alone

Hope this video helps you! Let us know after you watch it!

That’s a dating app for ya, love won’t be found on apps

@@NexumeraI did 😉

@@lu5423 lucky rarity, usually it’s nothing but slitherin snakes on there

@@Nexumera my dad found his current girlfriend on dating app and they have been together for many years, in an overall happy relationship too

Thank you :) We hope this helps! Did you resonate with any of these signs?

We hope this helps! Did any of these signs resonate?

Right - like what is "inconsistent"? You have to respond the exact amount of time every time? If you take longer, you are suddenly breadcrumbing? Life happens, schedules change, etc.

@@VRNocturne I think when they mean inconsistent, it means in certain points, they will be talking normally to you but in other days apart, they seem to completely distance and closed off without any communication of what’s been going on I feel as if the key difference is simply if there’s communication being told to your partner otherwise if they’ve been silent or keeps making the same excuses, then there’s probably some concern that you should bring up to them

Agree. I also wonder how many autistic people (and people with other mental illnesses) may even do some of these things themself on accident, despite looking for genuine connection. I think you shouldnt be too fast to jugde, and maybe try to talk with the person if there is an issue instead

Confront your partner, anyone who fears being breadcrumb'd. Don't settle for someone stringing you along, especially if they're up in the air about you but talk about other folk they make time for. Better to have that connection definitively end than keep being used.