As someone who is hyper empathetic, my biggest struggle is recognizing when others’ emotion are becoming my own. I would get into frequent arguments with my partner because when they’re upset it takes them a while to cool off and as a result I felt unable to rid myself of the negative emotion I was feeling as a result of my overactive empathy. This led to basically my being upset AT them FOR BEING UPSET, which is unreasonable, and lead to a viscous cycle. Now, when this happens I first tell them that they are perfectly valid to feel that way and it’s okay for them to take a few minutes to calm down. I then take a deep breath and remind myself that their negative emotion is not mine and I can choose to stop feeling it.
this is pretty much what I do. It's rough and confusing, but the gift we have can do so much good if we learn how to best harness it! Honestly, I laugh a little whenever I realize I'm feeling someone else's emotion, simply because it's just crazy but also awesome (though sucky) at the same time!
A lot of my friends have their own personalities... this isn't to say that they're bad people or are difficult to get along with, but sometimes, I do find myself becoming less involved with what matters to me because I'm more invested in the person... caring too much, and then absorbing their energy is definitely something I need to be more mindful of, and I guess this explains why my mood has been so erratic these last 24 hours
#1. 0:40 - Their Actions May Seem Forced #2. 1:25 - They May Take Advantage of Their Ability #3. 2:09 - They Experience Frequent Bouts of Paranoia #4. 2:45 - They Experience Cognitive Dissonance #5. 3:32 - They Can Be Frequent Liars
The three types of empathy Cognitive empathy. The ability to understand someone’s perspective and thoughts without emotional involvement. Emotional empathy. Being able to feel the emotions someone else is feeling as though you were going through their experience, too. Compassionate empathy. A combination of cognitive and emotional empathy is where you understand another perspective and your emotions respond as though you were in that situation. A dark empath is someone who uses cognitive empathy at the expense of others, often for personal gain. They can recognize someone’s situation without sympathizing with them. The exact cause of dark empath traits is unknown. Many theories exist on how personality develops, but most experts agree it’s a complex mixture of worldly experiences, disposition, and innate biological function. Their insight allows them to identify ways to manipulate social situations in a way that makes them appear blameless. Common tactics of manipulation may include: gaslighting love bombing ghosting playing the victim sarcasm intimidation gossiping Thanks for the read. Have a good day.
I was a compassionate empath and then life and people happened, c-ptsd and borderline developed in me and now I am more of a dark empath, I think a lot of empaths start out "good" but cant exist in this cruel world without constant pain and therefore become a wounded empath who is more likely much more selfish and can create boundaries which can seem like you are "not very nice" (even tho they just taken you for granted all this time)
Yes. I think sometimes it makes empaths a little bit harder or stronger. Not exactly a bad thing. Sometimes it's necessary To be cold and have logic. It becomes an ability or skill that develops as you no longer wish to sacrifice yourself.
The thing is that everyone will eventually take you for granted, some more than others. It's a human instinct, the longer a person has "secured" something like a material possession or a person, the less they treat it like it's valuable. They won't put in as much effort in keeping it unless they choose to, but that's perfectly okay! The alternatives are much worse, after all. Having a shaky relationship so the other person is always careful how they talk to you. Considerate, kind, thankful. They might value you while you're there.. but they're using alot of energy too. They would be partially relieved to lose a relationship like that. It's exhausting using that much energy 24/7. And I know it too.. I've cut out many people from my life because I didn't feel appreciated, and I'm more logic oriented than emotional so it had no effect on me whatsoever. But it's not the way to go, because everyone will get used to you being there. That doesn't mean everyone will grow unappreciative, though. Even if it's a human instinct to take people for granted, it can be fought~
@ursobeautiful3980 What other ways can you get respect? You know how! Providing something valuable for someone else or a group of people, being great at something, being capable of something others are not (even if that something is just being comfortable being you), etc.! These things are not too difficult, if you cared, you could probably apply yourself and get somewhere you never imagined~ I mean.. we have so many resources at our reach with just the internet alone, all it takes is a curious mind!
Screw them. Isn't your quality of character worth more than their respect? No need to stoop to their level. Going out of your way to get their respect tells them that you recognize its value and would claw at the opportunity to take it. They don't deserve that honor. XD
I'm both. The light side of me and the dark side of me, is what I'm made up of. They work together in symbiosis. I need both parts of me in order to clearly see the world and navigate it. Life is not all light in rainbows. We need the dark too. Having the dark isn't mean your evil doesn't mean your bad. The dark is my protector. It may not seem like it but it's always looking out for me. What the dark doesn't always make the best decisions. Because it's cold and lacking Skill to see the bigger picture. To see more options of for protection in growth. That's why it needs the light. And the light needs the dark so that it can rest, From exhausting itself from the energy of others from shining for others. The dark helps to preserve the light. So that I can continue glowing. Sometimes that might mean putting the light out for Time. Not being available to others. But after some time the light comes back stronger than ever. start the cycle over.
I relate to this a lot too. Sadly, being an empath drove me to isolation. Too tired about the exposure of the emotions of other people, frequently finding myself being manipulative, always contradicting myself for holding 2 ideas valuable...
I didn't even realize I was an empath until I watched this video. I definitely feel some of these, but luckily not to as many extremes as a previously did. Mainly I get somewhat paranoid, or criticize myself often. Personally, I find when I'm critical of myself, I feel much more motivated. Not necessarily in a negative way, but rather becoming more urgent about self improvement.
For me.. The darkest part is when I have this dreadful painful feeling around my dearest people in life, I'm feeling such pain about their status but can't say anything nor act upon it in any ways cause this is not about me but them..
Timestamps 1). Their actions may seem forced 0:40 2). They may take advantage of their ability 1:24 3). They experience frequent bouts of paranoia 2:07 4). They experience cognitive dissonance 2:44 5). They can be frequent lairs 3:30 Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
I'm glad I was self aware because I remember before I knew I was an empath or what empathy even was, as a teen I thought huh I can manipulate people if I wanted to since I could feel their emotions so well, I'd know exactly what to say. Which made me think I was sociopathic but while I do have a few tendencies it was just dark empathy. I absolved myself from leaning towards it and chose to be selflessly kind. That being said I was stepped over and used many times but it has made me all the more aware and gave me some good character growth. Great video!
As an empath, knowing that sometimes I'm the only person a lot of my friends can turn to makes me sometimes feel like a martyr, as most of the time the emotions that I feel and why I feel them are too much for my friends to understand, so I can't really tell many people about things that keep me awake at night because they simply wouldn't understand. It isn't pessimism, it's realism.
Agreed, we all know that life isn't all sunshine and rainbows but we talk like we're only looking at the negative side of life to them but when I'm optimistic, they tend to think that I'm naive and childish when I'm not and I abhor it.
Would you be able to do a video on setting boundaries? I’ve got adhd, I’m pretty good at observing my environment and the people around me, but I just can’t determine boundaries. I don’t know when to say no sometimes.
I relate to this a lot, I would love to say what I think and I actively try not to lie or at least say the truth in a non offensive way. But I really fear rejection since I don't have many friends and if a conflict appear I don't think I can defend myself verbally.
This reminds me of the character of Rose from Steven Universe. We didn’t saw a lot of it in the show but recently I have read some interviews from Rebecca Sugar and I think that that was her intention with the character. Someone very empathetic but with a lack of self love. That’s why I think that the song Love like you is a description of her character 🥀 🌺
I am a quite empathic person, and well, to be honest, I am tired and lost. It kind of feels like I lost myself, while trying to make everyone comfortable and safe around me. If I know what kind of a supporter someone needs, i become the person they need, and I change some thing about me for others. I know how bad it is, not only for myself, but also for others. But at the same time, i really don't know who i am anymore. I always acted the way people needed me to act like, and now, i don't know which part of me is real. I tried figuring it out by not acting the way people want me to, but the way i really feel, aand it didn't work out, cuz i don't know how i really feel either. I kind of have a identity crisis at this point i guess ? I also do have anxiety, and i've been to a therapist twice to deal with it. But i stopped attending therapy, sadly (personal reasons). I had so much more to open up about, but i wasn't able to express myself properly. I am always the friend who will drop all of their work to hear you vent and comfort you. But sometimes, when i get brave enough to vent myself, i usually can't do it, cuz my friend have their own problems. And when i finally reach out to a friend to vent, i find myself in awful anxiety. I feel like i can't tell them all the things that bother me, cuz i don't want them to worry for me. So i only tell the things that won't cause worries. I'm really sorry for this long "essay", i just had to write my thoughts somewhere. Thanks to anyone who will read this. And sorry if i have any grammar errors, English is not my 1rst language. I am really thankful to Psych2Go for all this precious videos, they really helped me a lot. Have a nice day and stay safe everyone
I'm not sure if I am an empath or a dark empath. I most definitely watch people and see what makes them tick, but I do my best to try and help them with what I know and how I know it. I am a Macdonald's manager and knowing the physical and mental state of my crew is one of the MOST important parts of my job. Most of the people I work with are 16 year old high schoolers who have troubled home lives, stress from grades, drama from school, and goodness knows what else could be going on in their lives.... they're teens. I have to navigate an emotional battle Field every time I walk through the door. They have started calling me the McTherapist because I always help them talk out their emotions to diffuse problems between co-workers. When someone is overstressed or too anxious in any one position I switch them up until all is well. If someone gets too anxious or if they are too physically exhausted from over work they are no longer able to work at their full capacity. That is why switching people around and putting them in positions they prefer is so important on my work shifts. I have received many compliments from customer and crew alike and I even receive hugs from some of the crew members. However, I am under no delusions. I know full and well what I am doing is emotional manipulation. I take people's emotions, grasp what is making them feel bad and hurt, then I yank it out. It hurts to see people in pain. And it hurts to sense their pain. I would rather just help them not to feel it anymore. Just like one of my male coworkers has self confidence issues. One of the spanish ladies in the kitchen has a crush on him (and has made it very clear to all) she calls him big papí and we nicknamed him El Guapo. He turned to look at me and said "don't say that, I'm not handsome." And I was a mix of heart broken and offended. First of all he called me a liar, I called him and he said he's not so I was offended. Second of all he is one of the sweetest men I know and I would definitely consider dating him but I know he likes someone else and I only think of him as a friend (he is like a giant overprotective teddy bear and it's so cute!!!). He is most Definitely handsome and it hurt my heart to know that he doesn't think of himself that way. I have to quit my job soon because I am moving out of a bad living situation.......but my goal is to teach him to love himself as much as everybody else already does because of how amazing he is. God only made one of him. There will never be another him in this world and I well and truly wish he would cherish himself. But I suppose because I see and understand these emotions I do try and manipulate people into feeling better because they deserve happiness. Or I could just be trying to justify myself lol I have been tempted to use my personal connection to get more people into the store when we are low on people (I'm not gonna lie) but in the end I don't because I feel like it's wrong to ask people to do something you don't want them to do knowing full well that they would be more likely to say yes to you instead of to someone else.....it just really makes me mad when people do that. Everyone is entitled to their days off. We will manage somehow. If I notice my dark empath tendencies begin to blossom a darker shade I will stop it in it's tracks lol
I have a similar situation when I am forced to be team leader. I care for my team members' mental health and make sure everyone has the same enthusiasm and read the dynamics like a book. I may not be the older person, and we were of the same age, but they made me the leader because I tried to back everyone up... I believe that is not a sign of dark empath, but more or less your "strategist" side is kicking in... Maybe you are not an empath to begin with, but more or less a "mastermind" because masterminds tend to read people, plan things, and make things better...
I dont think youre a dark empath at all. Yeah sure theres tendencies and such that can describe a dark empath, but in my opinion the main difference is if you use your empathic abilities to try and help others or to get personal gain out of them. Its a bit of a black and white almost childish perspective I know, its of course not as simple as that in reality, but I think so long as you dont use your abilities for personal gain over people youre fine, and you seem like a really kind person about it too (be it to make them feel better or simply so you dont feel worse) its a really nice thing to do either ways. Wanting to help is very respectable, and not wanting to feel their pain is completely understandable. Keep being great, you really are:)
It is really hard to get guys that have self esteem (bodyimage) issues to believe a compliment you send their way. Have a friend like that who let some bitches in H.S. make him believe he is too worthless for girls to see anything in him. Frustrating!
As an empath, I have a lot of friends who have terrible lives, constantly surrounded by toxic people and have trauma. It’s super draining sometimes because they always go to me for comfort. I need a break… 😅
I've had the same problem, the best method to deal with it is learning to set healthy boundaries and/or having a conversation with your friends about them BEFORE using them. If you have the conversation earlier and reassure them that they're not a burden but rather you dont have the best self care and are trying to fix that, they wont see it as a rejection of them. Additionally leading by example helps especially by asking people if they're in a headspace to listen to you right now or giving a warning before mentioning a topic and getting their consent to share it with them. The more you adopt these behaviours the more they will as well. If this doesnt turn out well or they guilt you, those people arent your friends and are likely taking advantage of your kindness. You dont owe anyone your support and if people need/want it they will find it. I know its really hard to step out of that role of caretaker but you come first and people who care about you will want you to put your needs first
For an example of these boundaries: "That topic is making me feel stressed, i'm gonna leave for a bit i'll come back when i feel better ok?" Instead of asking for permission its important you state your needs at that moment so its easier for you to defend them. It also makes it more difficult for people to question why (also you dont need to explain in any detail why something upsets you, if they keep asking just repeat "it just does" and the like). The clearer you are with your needs the easier it is for you to see that they're completely reasonable. A good format to follow is need:expectation:consequence. Set any consequences as something you can do on your own ie) removing yourself from the space. People arent always going to respect your needs and cant meet them for you, so by setting an out for yourself and stating it you can do so yourself
I just love watching your videos. Not only can I relate to them I can also feel motivated and try to improve myself. I have some major problems in my family. I'm not close to them at all. They all behave strange as hell. It's not normal. I sometimes feel like I want to escape them and never return. I wish my family was normal and I was close to them.
Thank you for your kind words and for sharing your personal experience with us. It can be really tough when we don't really feel close to our families. We'd like to ask, why is it difficult for you to be close to your family members?
As an empath, to keep the pace, you can hold onto negativity for a long time, bottling it up until you explode. Which, is not helpful to anyone and will inevitably make things worse.
Why I hate being surrounded by teens everyday at school. I love to learn but I get so paranoid especially when someone I really dislike definitely likes me. Like stawp. 🤨😠😐
look just cause dark empaths don’t really get the feelings in our hearts sometimes it doesn’t mean we all go drown puppies we’re all perfectly capable of genuine kindness too
Yes, despite being kinda forced they are able to recognize and try to cover their dark side, but im unsure if this could make them convert to a fully empath because its mostly their personality and own feelings ig
I feel exhaustive empathy to others, leading to cognitive dissonance that drives me to dark places, enough that I've developed many mental conditions, but despite everything, i do my best to never lie, No. Matter. What, My ability to feel what others feel is not a crutch but just another tool in my set of tools, just like having an arm can make it so the arm can hurt, the same goes for empathy, every pain i go through, all the splitting dissonance i excruciatingly go through, i will hold true to convictions, because even in complete hopeless and darkness, I Will be MYSELF.
I can provide you with an essay and PowerPoint presentation about a dark empathetic person. Essay: Introduction: Empathy is a complex emotion that allows individuals to understand and share the feelings of others. It is often associated with positive emotions and is considered a desirable trait in interpersonal relationships. However, there are individuals who possess a darker form of empathy, known as dark empathy or empathy with a dark triad. This essay will explore the characteristics of a dark empathetic person and the impact it can have on their relationships. Characteristics of a Dark Empathetic Person: A dark empathetic person possesses a unique blend of traits that allow them to understand and manipulate the emotions of others for their own gain. Some of the key characteristics of a dark empathetic person include: 1. Machiavellianism: Machiavellianism is a personality trait characterized by a willingness to manipulate and exploit others for personal gain. Dark empathetic individuals often possess this trait, using their understanding of emotions to manipulate others for their own benefit. 2. Narcissism: Narcissism is a personality trait characterized by a grandiose sense of self-importance and a lack of empathy for others. While dark empathetic individuals possess empathy, they may use it to manipulate others to satisfy their own needs. 3. Psychopathy: Psychopathy is a personality disorder characterized by a lack of empathy, impulsivity, and a disregard for social norms. Dark empathetic individuals may possess some psychopathic traits, allowing them to manipulate others without feeling guilt or remorse. Impact on Relationships: While dark empathy may provide individuals with a unique set of skills, it can have a detrimental impact on their relationships. Dark empathetic individuals may use their understanding of emotions to manipulate others, leading to strained relationships and a lack of trust. Furthermore, their willingness to exploit others for personal gain can lead to feelings of resentment and anger from those around them. Conclusion: In conclusion, a dark empathetic person possesses a unique set of traits that allow them to understand and manipulate the emotions of others for their own gain. While this may provide them with a set of skills that can be useful in certain situations, it can have a detrimental impact on their relationships. It is important for individuals to recognize their own dark empathetic tendencies and work to develop healthier patterns of behavior. PowerPoint Presentation: Slide 1: Introduction - Definition of empathy - Introduction to dark empathy Slide 2: Characteristics of a Dark Empathetic Person - Machiavellianism - Narcissism - Psychopathy Slide 3: Machiavellianism - Definition - Examples of Machiavellian behavior Slide 4: Narcissism - Definition - Examples of narcissistic behavior Slide 5: Psychopathy - Definition - Examples of psychopathic behavior Slide 6: Impact on Relationships - Lack of trust - Resentment and anger Slide 7: Conclusion - Summary of key points - Importance of recognizing dark empathetic tendencies Slide 8: References - List of sources used in the essay
Yo guys local "dark empath" here, just want to be clear, I don't really want to hurt people, just sometimes I care more about something other than your happiness, and sometimes getting those things is easier with manipulation
GOOD MORNING, MY FRIENDS/ KNOW FAMILY!!!! THIS TOPIC REMINDS ME OF MY MOTHER, WELL IT'S TIME FOR ME TO TAKE MY MED'S FOR EPILEPSY NOW, INTELL LATER ON MY FRIENDS, I HAVE TO GO BACK TO GET SOME MORE REST, BEFORE I HAVE TO GET UP AND GO OUTSIDE TO STAY AWAY FROM THE BULL SHIT, INTELL LATER ON MY FRIENDS!!! GOD BLESS ALL 💯🙏💪💙 TEE.
Yesterday I started crying after a stranger had a heart attack I didn’t even know the guy, but the cloud of shock and sadness sickened me to the point of almost breaking down It’s a blessing and a curse
I think all empaths have the ability to become dark empaths and manipulate people to get what they want or protect themselves. Or maybe the world has hurt them too much and they feel everything too much and want to turn it off by being the ones doing the hurting. The ones in control.
I'm an empath and honestly I would give anything to get rid of it. The emotional exhaustion always thinking about how others will feel it's fucking exhausting. I know aot has helped with dealing with because there's only so many people you can care about without spreading yourself thin. Mikasasaid so etching similar to that in s2.
No such thing as an empath. Nobody can feel other people's emotions. Not biologically possible. They can certainly be aware of other people's emotions. Nothing rare about that. We can all be aware of other people's emotions.
I've gotten to the point where I start mirroring people's personalities, which means that nobody really has any idea of who I am, it's strange, does this have a name?
Depending on their answer you might need immediate medical assistance so you would need to listen very carefully to make sure you follow the E.R. instructions to the letter
I'm an empath and I do not feel attacked. Maybe the liar part. I'm NOT a liar! I am never manipulative when I'm a dark empath or what I think of it, but if you repeatedly hurt me I can say some very deeply painful things that are a direct hit to the things I can tell you're most insecure about. It can be pretty mean, but I only do it to people who refuse to respect a boundary. So thank you, for reiterating it's a need for self-preservation, because that's exactly what it is. Empaths feel the full spectrum of emotions, and sometimes that feeling is anger, frustration, or even feeling indignant.
I’ve been called an empath on several occasions.. but I truly don’t think I am. I mean, I am not kind enough, nor moral enough to be an empath. I just cry and comfort the person who’s crying, that’s it. I’m literally a horrible human being. I mean, I’m violent and emotional at every small thing and one little flick can have me in a meltdown. Now watch me humble brag :) that’s a true sign that in fact I am not an empath, but an idiotic pick me who likes to victimize herself by humble bragging. This is the state of my mind, just constant humble bragging. In fact, I only learned what humble bragging was when my ‘friend’ mentioned it while I was talking about my emotional stupidity and breakdowns. There I go again.
Lying is bad but I was told you shouldn't be truthful all the time. Even the most trust worthy person isn't perfect. You could say "Yeah, I used to steal, cheat and lie when I was young. I've paid my debt to society." That's proving your honest, but many won't give you the second chance you deserve. Nobody likes a so called "Goody too shoes" ether, Those are the people who always play that "Good guy" act and never admit to any wrong doings. Admit it. We've all done bad things, but that doesn't always make all of us bad people. The Bible says; "If you confess your sins, the Lord thy God will forgive you of your sins."
Yes I'm an empath. Usually the butt of someone else's joke unless you tell me you love me and I find you don't. I will financially ruin your entire life. And then out you socially so no one ever even looks at you again. I am not a game player.
HAH WHY IS IT THAT THE SECOND I SAE THIS I STARTED PANICING?! IM NOT TELLING IM PUTTING MY LETTERS IN CAPS TO EXPRESS THAT IM FREAKING ANXIOUS PLEASE DO NOT RESPOND I WILL JOT BE OKAY AFTER YOU RESPOND I DO NOT KNOW WHY I TYPED THIS BUT I CURRENTLY HAVE NOBODY TELLS TO TELL SO WHY NOT TELL THE WHOLE WORLD SO I CAN SUFFER MORE THIS MAKES ME SAD I DONT KNOW WHY! 😄😄😄😄
As someone who thinks they're an empath i can deeply relate to everything. For a big part of my life i put the needs of others first and never cared about myself, which i fear it ended up making me a dark empath in the end. Despite knowing others emotions well i started to lack the desire to help them and finding it mostly annoying. For some years i may have harmed others because of that and videos like these help me understand better were i can be better at despite knowing that it will probably never be the same again. Best for all the empaths reading this and pls know that your feelings matter
Now I wouldn't go so far to say that this is the "Dark side of empathy", but rather the "Weaknesses of empathy", just because that sounds much more friendly in my opinion. What are your thoughts on this opinion?
