I've found the following to be true: They give me a head bump They rub their body against my ankles They give me a slow blink They snuggle up against me on the sofa and start to bathe They purr when I touch them
Also, none of these apply to the bartender, unless you're at a strip bar. If at a strip bar, none of these apply to the strippers, they are just attracted to your money.
@JustMe lol you could make the same ridiculous hypothetical situation with the genders reversed too. yeah generally people prefer having money over not having money. but I would say in the situation you described, it would only be applicable if the two men were literally exactly the same person in every single aspect except for wealth. humans are more complex than just their physical attractiveness and wealth. if the woman has a better connection with the less wealthy man, she will probably want to be with him.
Lol! God will find a way for two people who are meant to be together to meet each other! Never doubt. Several years ago, a certain man entered the room I was in. He saw me and nearly tripped and fell! I couldn't believe anyone could be more attractive - so it was "love (and real love) - at first sight!!" Circumstances, however, made this love verboten! I definitely believe we are soulmates, and somehow, some time, we will meet again and be able to be together!
In addition: Person A knows about these signs, panicks at the thought of being too obvious and overcompensates by avoiding to show them (avoids physical or eye contact, doesn't ask you out, doesn't really talk much at all and dies alone).
Exactly! And now I understand why so many guys thinks I'm into them just because I'm not attracted to them and treat them like a good friend. If I would be attracted I would avoid them, not come talk to them and be extremely awkward and avoidant if I had to talk to them for some reason.
Did I misread this? I thought OP was describing a person hiding *ANY* sign that they like their crush, but two of the four comments(before my post) are talking about people hitting on them; because those people mistook their kindness for attraction. ¿¿¿What am I missing???
In 7th grade, I had a classmate with really bad acne and I was staring at it one day. About 15 years later, I ran into him and he asked me, remember when u had a crush on me? I was baffled and asked him what he meant. He said, you used to stare at me a lot. I just left it at that. No need to bring up his acne
They might get a dog F. Sadly five years later person A is feeling neglected and person G at the office notices how sad they are. It gets complicated now.
The joke is that I’m narcissistic enough that just reading the title made me think it was about me... haha nothing like an over-explained joke to take the humor out of it- no judgement, it doesn’t always come through in text :)
@@chrisneedham5803 I was lost too. I thought CelloAfterDark meant that now we have heard Dr Grandes thoughts on attraction that people would now know when he was hitting on them... It is quite a funny joke tho lol 😂🤣😂
Possible signs: 1. Physical attractiveness. 2. Volume and content of conversation (Personal information) 3. Somebody says they are attracted they say they are single, they compare you to an celebrizy, person they like 4. Laughing and smiling, forward body leaning, touch 5. Longer eye contact than normal, somebody is looking at your face when you are looking away.
Pord Lartsa it could be even more politically correct to refer to someone involved as “organism” not “person”, because using the word “person” might be offensive for some people who don’t identify themselves with “persons”.
Great video Dr. Grande 👍. As a single woman on the dating scene, I have to agree with your analysis. Eye contact, laughing, smiling and actually asking for a date are strong signs that someone is attracted to you. Sadly, the superficiality of all this will NOT lead to a fulfilling relationship because shared values and commitment are required to build lasting love 💘
I was just about to say this!! I've met enough guys who are clearly attracted to me and say so. But values, commitment, consistency, stability and compatibility are harder qualities to find. And that is why Im still single. Sometimes it's also just timing and circumstance won't work out. Authentic long-term relationships are work. Physical attraction is only a small initial part of it and not even the main thing that'll keep you together. I've also had the experience of deciding not to be with a guy because I wasn't all that physically attracted to them or I didn't feel like I had chemistry with them, only to realize later they were the better person for me.
Those despicable, base men in all likelihood want you to support them, take possession of your house or condo; be the main beneficiaries of your will!!!
@@joseantoniomoch4006 Lol. Uh...that's even a bigger turnoff. A guy who's with you for money. I would never choose to be or stay with someone like that. Would rather stay single!
Oh boy. Ive been told I don't pick up on signs at all. By more than one person. Like I didn't pick up on Dr. Grandes "low key" humor. But I'm intuitive. And have an IQ of 135. I promise. 😱
When I'm attracted to someone, I can't help smiling and there's nothing I can do about it -- very embarrassing. I can see why some people defensively pretend to hate someone they're attracted to out of fear of rejection.
I have been accused of flirting so many times when I was absolutely not trying to do that. Sometimes just being an active, personable data-centered listener can get you in situations you don't want to be in.
Why is that an accusation? Flirting in itself is nothing bad, however it is a hurtful behavior to most if done with ulterior motives or from people who are just flirting for fun. This channel has lots of videos about the widespread issues of dark triad personality disorders and other malignant behaviors. Do you think that flirting is somehow a safe space from malignant people? That all malignant people magically don't enter the flirting space? Of course not, and lots of people come across malignant people who abuse flirting in their lifetime, so that's where the hurt comes from and why people tend to react badly to unintentional flirting behavior. If people repeatedly get the wrong impression about your behavior maybe it's time to consider being more mindful of your social environment to avoid causing unnecessary pain? You are free to act in any way you want but that also comes with the responsibility to accept other peoples' reaction towards you. If you want total freedom for your own behavior maybe you should also give the same privilege to others?
@@Teilnehmer Maybe using the word "accused" is too heavy of a triggering descriptor for you. For me it's more so people thinking I am into them or others overhearing my interactions with individuals of the opposite sex and making assumptions that I am into the person I am speaking with. It's simply that I am an active listener in the How To Win Friends & Influence People sense and I am very much into soaking up information that may provide additional insight into social behaviors or new knowledge that may serve me in some way. And I am generally smiling while engaged. Example: The executive assistant to the CEO at a company I worked at years ago was apparently in earshot of my near daily interactions with the DHL guy. To me I am just having normal human conversations with this dude. One day she literally gifts me with a shirt she came across at a garage sale that said 'Flirtologist'. 😂 I guess I am that good at it and don't even know it. I am an ENTP and have come to find out along the way this is not an unusual 'accusation' for our type.
Yep it’s when they can’t wait to use the phrase my wife. You think What? And you believe I would go with you? They don’t even stop to wonder if you have a partner.
@@wmluna381 it’s more that you believe that you are having an intelligent conversation about something and they think it’s you drubbing on about anything just for the privilege of being with them
It’s clear to me now that I really love my dog! She makes me smile and laugh out loud at her shenanigans, she loves to snuggle, and I’m very concerned that she is as happy and comfortable as possible. She makes serious eye contact while wagging her tail and smiling at me, which delights me to no end. Sure, it’s her dinner time and she knows how to play me, but who cares? She’s adorable all the way around, even when she snores, snorts, and farts in the middle of the night!! 🥰🐕
Yes! When my dog does something wrong , like eat a bag of treats from a counter surfing event, she smiles to remind me that she loves me. It’s actually a scary looking grimace but to me it’s beautiful. She also follows me to the bathroom. She likes to take me for walks and she protects me from the neighbors’ ankle biters. In other words, dogs are better at relationships.
@@laurae8324 then "grimace" that dogs do when they know they have been bad actually means that they are scared, and are trying to appease you. They are trying to show that they are submissive to you. Chances are, your dog will also have wide eyes and be turning their head away or bowing it to the ground while grimacing
Recieving compliments about being pretty because someone can tell you put a lot of time into your aesthetics is also not always flirtation. It's just appreciation.
1. You are physically attractive (4:53) 2. They will talk to you about personal things and compare you to attractive people (5:35) 3. They will laugh at all of your jokes even if they're not funny. (6:39) 4. They try to be physically close to you or try to touch you (7:04) 5. Eye contact longer than usual (7:33)
All this bring to friendzone at his finest. This is my experience, when an adult and selfconcious woman is attracted she will clearly and gently show to you in a way that is impossible to avoid.
I'm going to be very honest, here: My husband is not classically attractive. I was, in fact, shocked that he had the temerity to come onto me. But he is a highly amusing, sweet, good-natured person. Everyone adores him. We've almost been married for 2 decades. Previous marriage was abusive, and I think that played a significant part, re:That I fell for him...hard. Love that man!!
Exactly. I would slightly disagree on the 1st of Dr Todd's points. I am not attracted by objectively considered handsome men. I might flirt with them, but it is always someone's personality that makes me turn my eyes to him
@@vassilopoula Yes I do t trust uner attractive men my father was a player amd m9vie star good looki g Ronert Redford type witresses and women w.king intomstores would flirt with him ...women of all ages because he was a gentleman so I dont trust that level of attractiveness in men.
One of the takeaways for me here is the importance of getting to know someone well enough to see what is normal for someone, before expressing interest in him, or her.
Besides being able to tell if someone is attracted to you, getting to know someone is also important for knowing if you are really attracted to them. Lots of people look good, but that doesn't mean they're worth having relationship with.
Funny. My husband has told me that other men think I “like” them because I look them in the eye when they’re talking. That seems so strange to me. I had been raised to pay attention to others and look them in the eyes out of respect and politeness. I hate it when I talk to people who look away or even worse, look at other “body parts” as we’re conversing. That’s creepy!
My cat stalks me through the house and waits for the right moment to jump out and attack and bite my ankle. Then she trills me and takes off running through the house like a racehorse.
I have been secretly attracted to Dr. G. He becomes more and more attractive with each video I watch. Now that my secret is out, I’ll turn on the notifications so I don’t miss any of his amazing content. 😘 😊 By the way, I’m a happily married woman who’s husband also likes the channel but doesn’t find Dr G attractive 😂
Deliberate avoidance of eye contact could also be a sign, especially if the person has no problem looking in the eyes of others. Lack of eye contact is indicative of hiding something...such as a shy person or a person who doesn't have a strong sense of self worth. Going through this dynamic presently with someone.
Actually when i first meet someone I'm romantically attracted to, I literally can't look at them when they are talking to me for more than a few seconds. But I steal glances of them when they're not looking, for the rush. Otherwise I feel like I'm going to swoon. 😂 I can't really look at them full in until I know them better. Thankfully this sort of attraction rarely happens.
The law of attraction, opposites attract but don't last is one. Another is we have real chemistry together. A person that laughs at your jokes. Eye contact is a subtle attraction. Longer the better. My field is psychology and I can relate to your podcast. Thanks for your channel Dr. Grande.
I always think of this scenario: Mrs. Grande gets really aggravated about something and spouts off. Dr. Grande: "I noticed that you are having some deep feelings about how I leave my shoes all over the place, and leave the bathroom like a cyclone hit it with towels dangling and the tub not rinsed out. Would you like to talk about a possible solution?"
That's what I thought as well. But, guess what?! A new crush reared its nasty head. Major problem is that I am at least 12 years older than him. If a guy is older, no problem. Not the other way around though. It sux!
Maybe this happens: Introverts become extroverted when interacting with crush. Extroverts become introverted when around crush. How often is the body language mirrored?
@@daryljonesfoster4102 I had no trouble understanding it. "The end all video on the subject" means that this video ends all discussion or controversy (look up the idiom "end all be all"). "With many shitty preceding ones" means that many bad videos on this topic came before this one.
I totally missed it when my husband began showing romantic interest in me due to having self esteem somewhere in the gutter. That was 42 years ago and this is our 40th year of marriage!
I’m someone who’s easily amused and I tend to laugh at things no one else finds funny so I now understand why I’ve kept having to fend off romantic suitors. I’m also positive and friendly which people tend to perceive as interest. Guess I’ll just have to learn to suppress my laughter and be less amiable.
well , those qualities are just attractive qualities and they will serve you well throughout your life. Don't let the thought of having to say "sorry not interested" stop you from smiling and laughing. One of the things I have loved about myself most of all is that I'm easily amused and laugh easily ( even sometimes when inappropriate, lol).
My best advice in finding out if your crush likes you...is to go talk to them. I'm the last person who should be stating the obvious, because I avoided people like a pandemic survivor *BEFORE* the pandemic; But after years of isolation and deep thought, I just gotta say: "JUST DO IT!" Go talk to your crush, and if you get rejected; then take heart from the fact that you showed enough courage to put yourself out there. That courage will make the next time easier.
We have 6 kids together and we got married when we were both dirt poor. If she’s in it for the money then God bless her for sticking around long enough to get it 😎
And so many many will be attracted to you, because you are very attractive. So am I..... too a blind women...or if you like a guy who can pull off the aging rock star look...it helps that I have all my hair. Seriously you are very nice looking. No offence intended. Cheers
Slowly but surely this channel is teaching me that most people are repulsed by me, disgusted by me, and no one finds me attractive. :( I appreciate the intervention. I shall have to have some deep reflection and continue to hide from all humanity until I can function somewhat normal. 🤔
"The number one sign that person B would be attracted to person A would be...if person A was physically attractive." Well that was pretty straightforward. Lol
Really love hearing your assessments of different topics and on different people. No drama, name calling, or any of the things that make it so difficult to actually base an informed opinion on. Thank you for your knowledge & videos! Hope you’ve had a great weekend!
Hi Dr Grande. I’m sure you know everyone was gonna watch this video...LOL! I never considered that there was a scientific aspect to attraction, even though it IS part of the human condition. In my opinion, at least back when I was single and dating, the biggest sign was prolonged eye contact while smiling, not on my part, on the guy’s part. Problem for me was I couldn’t see a damn thing without my glasses on, and I NEVER wore them when I was out! You know, my insecurities about having glasses on! I memorized my way to the bar and the bathroom, the important stuff! LOL! So a guy had to be in my face for me to see he was attracted to me! I’ve heard that women tend to play with their hair when talking to a person they’re attracted to. Whatever it is that two people do, I feel it’s they way that person makes you FEEL when first engaging in conversation that’s a dead giveaway to if they’re attracted to you or not. So just to amuse you, the night I met my husband he was performing at a club, he’s a musician and was touring at the time. He had no shortage of girls hitting on him because of that. He could tell I had no idea who he was, and was really glad I didn’t. He could tell I really liked him, not the guitar singer guy! Remember, I’m the girl who never wore her glasses so the band I’d go to see, I really DIDN’T see LOL. After about 2 hours of blabbing, I finally asked him what he did for a living. He said “I’m a musician” I said, “ Really? What band are you in?” He replied with a smirk...”The one you saw tonight” ! LMAO! I guess all the years of stumbling around the clubs worked in my favor, it’s almost 30yrs later and we still crack up at that. Now that I got Lasik I bet it be a whole lot harder to navigate the dating scene! LOL! Thanks as always for your hard work! This video was extra fun!
My neighbour fancies me and it's getting creepy. I used to smile and laugh while chatting to him, but that's before I realised he was attracted to me. So I disagree that smiling and laughing could mean I am attracted to someone, it's just politeness. However, I avoid him like the plague now, it's very awkward.
It's about baseline behavior. If someone is always laughing at everything, then if they laugh at your jokes it doesn't mean they're attracted to you. If they never laugh, however, but then laugh at all your jokes, that's a good indicator.
Great video as always! Can you make a video about child grooming and how online predators such as youtubers can show red flags of predatory (pedophile) behavior? I believe it’s very important to spread awareness on this topic with RU-vid having such a large impressionable young audience. Thank you!
Being in customer service, I get "I'm attracted to you" A LOT. I get more phone numbers and invitations to go out on dates than you could ever imagine. I've had marriage proposals and offers to give me whatever I want--if I just ask for it. Honestly, I'm not interested in any of it. I know better than anyone the real person I am inside and that nice person, the helpful employee, is because I'm on the clock. I have no desire to date, see someone, be taken care of, or spend my life with anyone. I am content where I am in my life. And even if I did want to date, I can't. I took a vow of celibacy.
I was once in a customer service job for almost 6 years. It felt very insincere to me to have to be smiling, positive, helpful, chatty, etc when inside I wanted nothing of that. I'm an introvert. I quit after realizing this forced dichotomy was negatively affecting my health.
This is the first video of yours that I have come across and I am in major admiration of your ability to cut straight through the nonsense and deliver evidence-backed information. Thank you.
Listening to the list of actual signs just gave me so much remorse! It's definitely the case, I think, that if you are romantically attracted to someone as opposed to just sexually, you will be much more likely to brush away even clear signs that the person is attracted to you, especially if you already have a friendship that you could ruin.
1. Physical attractiveness 2. Volume and Content of conversation (mentions relationship staus; you remind them of someone else who's attractive) 3. Laughing at jokes, smiling 4. Moving close, forward body leaning, physical touch. 5. Holding eye contact longer than normal.
I used to love a narcissist, it drove me crazy with a full tank of gasoline. I crashed, and learned to LOVE MYSELF like a narcissist. Exercise, healthy eating, fulfillment in hobbies, and focus on my own business. I stopped caring what anyone thinks about me and learned to be happy with myself. I go out to enjoy the fruits of my own labor, women smell confidence and I notice eyes in my direction. I don’t need the validation of someone else to feel good, and people seem to be attracted to that.
@Mary Carroll Being religious doesn’t help to leave abusive relationship. Narcissists can use all kinds of tricks and use the scripture against their spouse. When I took the abuse study and training, our instructor shared her own story of abusive relationship. She was married to a pastor who is a Narcissist, he did everything possible to make her dependant on him used the scripture against her and manipulated their child against her. So I would say being an atheist is a safe choice. Unfortunately men can’t walk on water.
I really appreciate your work. Never have I had the sense that you're only hypothesising from anecdotal life experiences. Your scientific rigor is attractive.
That's okay. I tend to shake as if stricken with some sort of palsy and loudly break wind any time I'm on a date. When it happens (typically every five minutes or so), I just scream, "DON'T LOOK AT ME!!!!" If I'm particularly flatulent, I follow the scream with a coquettish giggle ("tee-hee-hee!"). Give it a try. You'll be pleasantly surprised by the results.
I really learn a lot from what you share. Thank you! Sadly what I learned was that I was, and I say was, attracted to narcissists because my parents were narcissists. I have realized my patterns and now listen to what people are saying, and listen to what they are not saying. I’ve also noticed that narcissists or some people use sexual energy to attract people. My experience has show me is that those types of people lack depth of character and empathy. These are only the people I have met. I do not judge an “everyone”.
Good point about physical attractiveness, if we are honest we are all attracted to beauty whether is art or a person, however I agree it may not be the foundation of a long term relationship assuming that is what you are looking for.
Thank you for this! The next time one of my friends starts quoting to me yet another dating and attraction "article" from Cosmopolitan magazine, I'm showing them this video. I swear, ladies. Get it together! 🤦🏻♀️😎
If women were paid equally then they would have less chronic economic problems after a divorce. In fact, if women were paid equally, they would not need to get married at all.
@@LGDarksteed sometimes one is just too tired to take care of looking out for the needs of another. When it is too difficult to summon the energy to do more than barely meet one's own needs, it is better to be alone than to love someone and not be able to care for them as much as they deserve.
@@mskatwilkins I think that's a cop out. What happens if your partner catches cancer and needs their partner for support? Would you just leave them? What if you yourself became injured or had an illness? Would you be ok with that person just leaving because they didn't have the energy anymore? Sometimes people just need to step up instead of stepping out.
I know someone who thinks everything is a sign someone is attracted to him, even after I told him I wasn’t attracted to him twice he proceeded to ask me to dinner 🥘🙄. That was a sign for me to end the conversation. 😂😅
CC C believe it or not, the man is in a relationship and has a newborn with his third baby mama, and still tried to get me to date him or whatever. He’s such a joke. 🙄😅I feel bad for his kids to get stuck with a dad like him.
Drew Zi he asked me out on a date, told me that he still wondered about us becoming a couple while he was engaged, had a 1 month old baby and he got married 2 months after the fact. It grossed me out because he was trying to cheat on his fiancée who had just given birth! I’d be horrified if I was in her shoes. At the least he wanted me to be his side chick or one of his side chicks. I have morals, plus he’s ugly and smells bad, so it was out of the question! 😅😂🤣
Celeste Celestial wow, so only pretty people deserve your attention? I don't think being ugly is a mark against someone. Or do you mean you didn't find him attractive? I also don't think polyamory is immoral. What is immoral is lying and cheating: which I applaud your aversion to.
Yeah, the narc that I thought loved me and gave me all the signs of a traction. Fucking destroyed my life and shattered my heart. Now I don’t trust any signs of attraction and I don’t even recognize them anymore
Dr. Grande out here being everyone's wing man. Giving top tier flirting and dating advice. Sir, you need to be dropping love songs next. Album to be expected.
I just loooooove your analytical approach.Considering baselines of human behaviour is something so many people don't even take into account. I've had many "false pings" while dancing at a party (not suggestively, just pure and unbridled joy :D), because that just makes me happy and joyful.SO many people interpret this as ..suggestive..or I don't know, having a certain meaning.It kind of pollutes my experience.
I had a guy who did the following: 1. Pupils popped wide open when he first saw me in street clothes (not in uniform) and his mouth fell open 2. Began softening his tone of voice when speaking to me 3. Began pouring some of his beer into my glass when mine ran low 4. Began texting me occasionally 5. Shared personal info (including mentioning recent breakup twice) 6. Laughing, smiling, joking with me Then I invited him to dinner and he ran for the goddamn hills. 🤷🏽♀️
I think Dr. Grande is adorable too! Unfortunately for me, I am old enough to be his mom soooo...that could put me in the "How can I be less creepy" video!! But hey...a girl can dream right?? 😉😉🤣🤣🤗🤗
I think be attractive might also just mean Look put together. You gotta work with what you got. So its important to flatter your best assets. Wash. Comb your hair. Put on well fitting clothes. Smell nice. And you're instantly more attractive then you were before.
If someone is attracted to you you can feel it intuitively, if you are present and in the moment. This scientist is brilliant but you already have the blueprint. Believe in yourself and your inner wisdom. Peace
Best advice for guys, if you're in a group, be the quiet one. Not the edgy loner type, just wait for the "crab antics" to die down. Always best to be quiet and appear stupid than to open your mouth and remove all doubt, lol.
@@doomerbloomer6160 Sure it does. You just can't handle reality. That's fine for now, but eventually, you will have to grow up. Welcome to Hell. You earned it. No further replies will be seen or read. You lose.
@@mywifesboyfriend5741 That sounds like something you told yourself a 100 times. He's right, no one likes self pity. It makes you an egocentric asshole who thinks his too smart to admit he has 0 social skills and no experience. There's no way to be extravert if you're not one, and extraverts usually wish they were less of a big mouth. Point is, everybody can be a bitching asshole on this planet, and trying to copy what you're not, is the actual hell you're talking about. So yea, no one so focused on their ego they think they live in hell because they can't talk to a girl, is gonna be of any interest for anyone.
She tells you your jokes are funny, she calls you Honey, then she reminds you that she is in it only for the money. And now your drinking all the time. Don't go looking for Trouble.
After 48 years of marriage I think we’re in it for the long haul.. and it was love at first sight. ❤️❤️. The thing that attracted me to him was that he seemed amazingly comfortable in his own skin. I loved that.
I would like to see a video about how to tell if someone wants to be friends with you. I find myself interacting with people and sometimes it seems like they automatically don't like me, or I'm just not sure where I stand with them. Or, if they're being rude to me, whether or not it's even worth keeping the friendship. Also this was a great video, it really confirmed a lot of thoughts I had on relationships. A lot of your videos clear tons of stuff up.
I don’t know how you ended up on my suggested RU-vid but you make some awesome videos and talk about difficult subjects in an impressively objective manner.
