Yeah my old therapist said I made a mistake trying to get an restraining order against my mom's abusive boyfriend. It took me a while to realize he was full of shit and I wasn't "over reacting".
That’s amazing! Mine watched news on her laptop and ignored me 80% of the time. Really struggling to find the one who’d help me improve and learn new things on how to cope.
I told my old therapist: “I’m addicted to my phone” And she went like: “just don’t watch your phone” Wow. Amazing advice 10/10 Edit: I've found a better therapist
I have obsessions and intrusive thoughts and a therapist I was seeing was like "yeah just let them go....you can choose to let them go if you want to", without offering any proactive advice of how to do that. And she didn't believe in clinical professionals like psychologists and psychiatrists giving people mental health labels, as, according to her, it can negatively weigh the patient down. I know that counsellors who offer talking thrrapy aren't supposed to diagnose people but I was talking to her about a confirmed diagnosis that I had actually recived from both a psychiatrist/clinic psychologist and i wanted her help to overcome these difficulties. And she was like yeah I don't believe in these labels/conditions etc. I was paying £80 an hour to listen to this. Thankfully, she left the practice shortly thereafter to "persue new life goals". I believe the opposite, a MH diagnosis is helpful as it gives a name to what you are suffering from and a clinical reason for why you are feeling so bad and you can then use proven stratergies to overcome them. I'm doing ACT now, which acknowledges that you have MH difficulties but helps you to find ways to work with them to make life easier.
I currently have real issue getting out of bed in the morning. My therapist said put an alarm on my phone and set it away from my bed. ☠️☠️not treating my issues like issues
My last therapist who I'd been seeing for over a year: "Ok, so...last time we talked you said you were concerned that your husband has been working late a lot and you were worried he was actually going to the baths and having sex with men..." Me: "No...I'm the lesbian who hates her job..."
yeah lol i once visited a "therapist" who believed in spirits and after i shared my pain with her, she started snapping fingers, saying spells and asking me if i felt a demon coming out of me.... i'm an atheist....
This is really important, and one of three reasons I'm not returning to my current therapist, I'm looking for another one. The other two reasons are #2 and #5 in this video.
When you search, there are websites that tell you they're religious beliefs, certificates, sexual orientation, and experiences in years. I looked for one that had no religious offiliation. Not that they said athiest or agnostic, but just none--- so I knew before I went in that I would not be pushed into that or worse....offend someone trying to help me ---with my thoughts... more than I usually probably do. A good therapist should not be judgy, but I have issues so I am concerned about their feelings a lot eitherway. Point is: I hope you find a good therapist like I did.
Thomas Neuberger That's interesting. I've known of its origins, but as a Christian myself I have simply removed the religious aspect of it and have found it to be a useful technique. I've never been overly concerned as I simply see it in the same way as meditation, some practice it for religious purposes and some do not. Especially as Buddhists do not have a God and even for them it is a clearing of the mind.
I had a therapist that once sided with my alcoholic mom because she was so good at hiding her alcoholism that my therapist thought I was lying. It didn't help that my mom would call him on the side and try to convince him that I was lying too. It did a lot of damage for me and I couldn't trust another therapist for years after that.
Look up the video Kati has about the quiet narcissist...My dad was one and so were a couple of my boyfriends..I finally took great psycholgy courses in college and understood how they were manipulating me and others...I just have to note that when I did corner a couple, like my own brother...They got very loud, started accusing me of everything and that's when I decided to cut all ties since they are toxic people in my lfie...
Bruh same story but flipped - my mom found out who my therapist was (I’m a legal adult!!), called her and basically told her I was a dangerous alcoholic /: therapist never trusted me again even though i told her I quit drinking almost a year ago. Had to break off that relationship because no matter what I said the therapist kept prying like I was lying to her and I needed to be checked into rehab or smthn lmao
Yep!!!! I just had a mean woman therapist do that to me for the 2nd time!!!! And then Lord and tried to gaslight me and tell me I'M IMAGINING IT. Silly woman - I have the detailed call logs from the phone bill. Now what. Silence from her and "I don't know what your talking about." NEVER again getting another woman therapist. Or trusting women. Done!!!! 😡😠
Add “falling asleep” to your list. One time I was so annoyed by a therapist nodding off and my attempts to keep him awake and engaged that I finally just let him fall asleep. I walked out and didn’t make another appointment.
My therapist passed this test with flying colors. She's simply amazing and I've made so much progress since we were paired together. She's truly a blessing in my life.
That's why I stopped seeing therapists altogether. Haven't seen one in more than a decade now. All they did was nod their head and pretend to listen to me. I felt like I was just talking to myself most of the time.
Sweet Pea to some people it is beneficial. It's helpful to have someone on the outside of the situation look at it and help you understand, cope, etc. By the way, you guus do know this channel is literally a therapist.
There are bad therapists and good therapists the same way there are bad doctors and good doctors. Good therapists are very helpful if you are facing psychological or emotional difficulties. Bad therapists on the other hand are extremely damaging.
@@PoemsRunAground ask for guidance some are trained to not say much until you figure out what direction you are wanting to take ie. What you want to focus on first and how you would begin to do that. I imagine it doesnt help people to assume they want help or in what manner they want it. If you dont have any idea maybe you start there? Talking about how you're stuck?
One time I opened up to my old therapist about something I’d never told anyone, something that I was really embarrassed about anyone finding out, and she laughed at me. Like, out loud, taunting, laughed at me. Never saw her again after that.
you should have been like Kanye west when people laughed at him saying "when I run for president in 2024" and be like "why are you laughing" with that damn DEATH STARE kanye gave the crowd lollol.
After seeing around 10 therapists - Real therapist is a matter of personality and not a matter of study or Bachelor degree. When you feel good after and in the therapy, you know your seeing the right therapist. if you have doubts and you feel bad or weird - then CHANGE THE THERAPIST.
Thank you! I'm seeing a new therapist, because I'm afraid my depression is back. And I mentioned last time that I had therapy a long time ago and that I always felt stronger and more hopeful and relieved after my sessions. She told me that, no, typically, you feel bad after therapy sessions. Abd, boy, did I *feel* bad after this session with her. She crushed nearly all my hopes that I could get out of this again, "no, it will forever stay with you, you have to work to accept it" - my symptoms are so much worse since! I hoped for help and got this. Good to hear that, no, my previous experience was right and I should not feel this bad for this long. I think I have to search for someone different.
@@mgd6087 I stood up, saying Well that is not thearpy and what I have come to pay for" an did not pay. She was too relaxed, without a care in the world, and told me I could come to her for as long as I needed, one had come fpr 6 years. I did that in youth, - a relief short-term, but she didn't get to the bottom with anyhing and at the end told me it was not actual psych-therapy but support-therapy only...Night mare
My therapist told me I wasn’t trying hard enough to make new friends. I quit therapy. Still don’t know how to make friends. And after all these years I have less friends.
I had the first kind for one session and I left in tears and didn’t come back. She was so invalidating! This is why I’m applying to masters programs in counseling. I trust I can do a good job and actually help people.
My therapist invalidated my feelings too and it really made me feel worse off. We need more people like you in the mental health field. I truly hope you can change people's views on therapy because personally I feel like most don't truly care about their patients.
1 & 5 just happens to me with a therapist. She literally said "That's not a trauma." Umm..it was to me. It may not be as traumatic as things that have happened in others lives. But it totally derailed what was going on in my life and my families. Yeah. Not going back to her.
I have a really hard time talking to new people and when I went into therapy it was just awful, because I was trying to hold back my tears (crying in front of people is an another fear of mine) and I was waiting for her to ask something. Just anything so I could tell her how I felt, but we just sat there for 20 minutes and all she said was:"The weather is nice isn't it?" She didn't even try to talk to me and all of this time I felt like I was looked down upon. So after sitting there for an hour with no talking we went back and she said that I didn't really need therapy. So nothing changed besides me feeling more miserable and worthless. Also I will probably never get therapy again and my parents already believe everything is fine because the therapist said so, but she didn't even try to make me talk about anything.
Kate L That's awful! 'They/you don't need therapy' is not something that a therapist should ever say to/about a patient until they have met a least a few times, because they don't know if they just haven't been told anything yet! And even then they should help you to find another alternative! Are you able to talk to your parents about this?
my therapist every time forgets about my history and my problems. My parents after all I told them do not want to change my therapist.Yeah.It's terrible :)
One of my friends was shot in the head and killed down the street about a month and a half ago - I told my ex therapist (last saw her about a week after it happened) about it and she immediately disregarded it to continue to talk about other aspects of my life she was more interested in. I don’t understand how people like this can have their own practices
I realized that my therapist wasn’t a right fit is when she was sick one week and I was seeing someone else and that helped me more than the whole weeks of therapy before that
I felt really judged by my last therapist. Once I was talking about how I got upset about a "joke" that was made in my boyfriend's family about me being "too old" and my therapist asked me if I was always like "that" (meaning too sensitive). She frequently said I was too rational/intelectual, even when I was showing A LOT of vulnerability. I felt that I was always "too something" for her. Oh... and I had to beg for the papers to send my health insurance.
When I see my therapist, it is like I'm hanging out with her. We have NO goals and she talks about herself more than I do about myself. I really like her, but I'm getting no where. How do I "break up" with her??
stop going to her "therapy" consultations, you have no obligation to her. Believe me I thought the same when I was seeing my therapist who sexually harassed me.Just stopped going to the dude.
Four possible ways: Stop seeing her and send the last payment. Tell her you want to stop and that "this is the last session". Tell her you want to end to therapy with her in the near future and then count down the sessions (YOU can decide to do it sooner regardless of the plan). Take a trusted person with you to make sure you don't get talked out of it and are safe. or some other strategy that works for you!
I had a therapist, who didn't take me seriously when I said I didn't like being around my physically violent brother. Also when I said I was an artist he didn't take me seriously either. I finally showed him my work once and he was surprised saying, "wait, you did that?... oh... so you were actually serious." It was like he automatically assumed I was an "artist" who passively doodled in a journal and posted overly vapid quotes on Facebook as opposed to what I actually do, which is professional bronze sculpture, doll making, and graphic art.
Crazy Donut hey i'm so sorry about the late reply! for whatever reason youtube didn't give me a notification. :( here's the doll I mentioned: instagram.com/p/BXdFHv2geuE/
Dori C THATS GORGEOUS!!! I love bjds and hell yeah I’ve felt disregarded as an artist by my ex therapist b4 (fikoncharogne on ig, I haven’t updated in forever but some of my old art is on there)
Sounds like being an artist is an important part of your identity whereas he has some prejudice where artists aren't a real thing like lawyers and chefs and janitors are
The therapist I saw wanted me to do all the talking without her asking any questions. I was there for social anxiety and I rarely speak more than a few words at a time. It was ten sessions spent mostly sitting in silence.
I left my therapist because they wanted to know the names of everyone that I interacted with, especially at work. Some of my coworkers were also her clients. It turned into more of building the gossip mill more than anything
I'm so glad someone else has experienced this. I was in the medical field, and she worked with many of my supervisors. I felt like she was sharing information with them. Suddenly everyone's so hostile, and they all work in the same office, HMMMM.
I had a first initial appointment with a therapist, who seemed very world-weary. She made comments that made me think she'd been through what I had personally, but not saying them in a good way. The worst was when I mentioned a sexual assault and she IMMEDIATELY said (in a judgemental voice) 'Well, why didn't you push him away??' then quickly corrected herself to 'therapist mode' again. I was so shocked I made a follow up appointment, which I cancelled an hour later. Some people just shouldn't be therapists. Weirdly, her husband is also a therapist and treated a friend of mine, she said he was brilliant and the complete opposite of his wife.
Yep that is victim blaming! I am sorry that happened to you. I have been in a similar situation where the abuser catches us off guard and we don't know what to do.
@Cathi Christian Thank you, I'm sorry it happened to you too. We don't go around expecting to be assaulted, we're not ninjas. It's also an inbuilt response to not escalate the abuser to anger.
I was kind of on the fence about my therapist because I just have a hard time trusting people, but one time I started talking about queer identities and she actually listened and researched it later and believed me. I felt so respected and not judged and I decided she was cool lol
burymeinpink I like to have a T that already have worked with queer identities already. You can just straight up ask if they had much experience. If they don't, they should let you have the freedom to see someone else if you are more comfortable with that. At minimum, they should be willing to explore that with you without judgment and willing to be open to learn more and also admit if they made mistakes (i.e., misgendering whatnot).
Ng Wang Qi Amy Agreed. In a small town in countryside Brazil, though, I didn't really expect her to know what I meant when I said I identified as autochorisexual. I was glad she didn't judge me and she was open about it and researched more about it later, even telling me about an international event where there the queer identities were discussed. This isn't a topic that comes up very often, though, so we didn't really talk about it much, but I absolutely agree that the patient can choose to see someone else if they feel judged or if they need their therapist to have experience on the area.
one time i saw my thereapist she knew i had severe depression and mental problems and i was shy did not open up as much and she said ok since everything is ok in your world which it is not she said well today im just going to sit back and tell you all of my problems and you can listen to me . what a lousy therapist but she quit a week later thats good she was also on my moms side which made everything worse and my moms very controlling and bitchy.
Cristy Chumney In this instance they may have simply been trying to help you to open up. If this happens a lot then it becomes terrible therapy, I agree, but if they had not been seeing you for long then they were probably just attempting a technique which can be very effective for people. I hope you do/have found a better fit, though, it sucks when it just doesn't work.
I had a horrible therapist one time. I was having horrible anxiety (pre diagnosed GAD and depression) and agoraphobia due to starting college. I couldn't leave my dorm. All she said was "it's normal" and gave me a fill in the blank workbook for the next time I have anxiety, for me to basically figure out on my own why I was so "stressed". Ugh I didn't pay you just to get a coloring book -__-
I've seen therapists who: gaslight people in their sessions, fail to treat them like a human being and just play various mind games with them and abuse them psychologically, victim blame the client if the client was ever bullied in school, exploit the living shit out of the clients fears and vulnerabilities to the point of scarring them for life and then people who were abused by therapists are either suicidal because of therapist abuse (sadly no therapists are EVER held accountable for their actions) or they become violently homicidal and have endless thoughts on wanting to kill the therapist for the psychological abuse.
The feeling like I have to "prove" myself hits hard. I suspect that I might have an autistic/ADHD combo and I've been heavily researching this for over a year (mostly following "actually autistic" people and learning about their lived experiences). When I've talked to my therapist, she has tried SO hard to find absolutely any other explanation and at times it has felt very dismissive.
Yup I had this experience to with my former therapist whereas my current therapist was like “have you ever considered the possibility that you’re neurodivergent” after a couple of sessions. It was so validating.
Omg the whole reason I became a therapist was due to the really bad counsellors I had encountered. I love the tips and tricks point. Good video thank you.
I had the WORST THERAPIST in the history of therapists. I had rejected her once, early on, and years later, they sent me to the same person, and she had not improved, and was in fact worse!!! I've been through therapist after therapist, and it has taken me decades of my life to get control and finally understand how to manage my difficulties. This is because I needed to overcome two hurdles: First and foremost, nearly every lay-person on the planet believes that a "psychiatrist" is a person who performs the therapy. In the modern medical system, they tell me this is NOT so. As they tell it, a psychiatrist is one who manages the medication you may need for the most part, as well as recommending who you should go to for therapy. "Psychotherapy" is not even on the radar. "Therapy" per se, is handled through "social workers" first. I will tell you right now that this goes against everything I know about mental issues and therapy. To me, an average person, a "social worker" is someone who helps a person deal with problems in interpersonal relationships or circumstances, NOT a person that diagnoses and handles actual mental disorders. A "social worker" is the kind of person I went to see in high school if I got into a minor fight, not because I had deep-seated mental issues. That brings me to the second issue. In my mind, I'm waaaay past the difficulty of "social worker" and just a few feet from rubber room. I needed real, substantive, and intelligent help. But twice, I get sent to someone who was below the level of my issue. Her first face-to-face go-to was not an introduction, but a questionnaire that I had to fill out while she's sitting there. This questionnaire was some 20 questions long, and so general, that if I answered the questions as written, the answers would not get to the heart of the problem quickly. To facilitate speed, I added comments all over the page to clarify and to define my answers. To be honest, the questionnaire was like a overly simplified set of questions for a specific and difficult problem that I'd dealt with for years. The therapist who is the topic of this message, then looked over the answers I gave, and asked a few more questions, so again, I tried to be as complete as I could, laying my issue out as neatly as I could. Her response? "Wow. You certainly like to hear yourself talk." W the literal F? Aside from how insulting that comment was, it should have tipped me off as to how bad it could be, because she then proceeded to recommend that I purchase a selection of "self-help" hypno-therapy tapes, which would not be paid for by my insurance. I DO NOT have the temperament for hypnosis, since I believe personally that hypnosis is junk science. Oh, and I'd have to pay for it too?? Again, what the literal F? When I turned those down, she asked that I follow her, which I did. She led me out of the therapy office and up to the front desk where she told the receptionist to schedule my next appointment. Then she left. I had been dismissed without a word; not given even an indication that the session was over. I went from 0 to 75 in the pissed off zone at once. I was not only dismissed like an errant child, I had also wasted my time. I was irate to say the least. Never again will I suffer such an indignity and insult. So I offer this as your potential sixth sign you need a better therapist: Make sure that your therapist shows you a minimum level of respect, on a level you and your mental issue demand. Do not settle until you are confident that you will be treated well, and that your problem is treated with respect as well. If your therapist is not giving you credit for your attempt to get the help you need, or engages in self-serving insults or comments, then it's time to file a complaint with the head office, to cancel all future appointments, and find someone who can really help!
Inu no Taisho ok, so yes. A Psychiatrist diagnoses and prescribes meds. They got a medical degree, not a psychology degree. The questionnaire you talked about sounds..hm..familiar. it's a standard thing to quickly diagnose the more common problems. The back-handed comment and dismissal, however, were a little rude, but then I don't have the full picture
I once had a therapist that tried to get me into her makeup selling pyramid scheme. There was this one time where in the middle of my session, one of her customers came in to buy makeup and never gave me prior warning.
I had a horrible therapist that aside from insulting me by telling me everything was my fault, minimizing my problems as well, she even asked if I wanted to get together for an ice cream , and also other times to eat. , and said we can do therapy when we were doing those very things. She even went with me to look at clothes and also to get bagels from another store. I let this go on a few times because I had problems being assertive with her and was intimidated by her. I had such a weakness leaving her. Finally after so many years I left her, because I couldn’t handle her telling me about something that was very important to me as being my fault. I kind of knew she was going to say it was my fault once again, being no surprise to me. I should have stopped seeing her a long time ago.
@@mainecoon6514 yep...I recommend Daniel Mackler's (the former psychotherapist) short video on here about "How to become a psychiatrist" - very amusing and worryingly accurate I feel.
I wish people knew how twisted it all is. Its seariously a very sick and demented field. I can’t wait until 50 years for now we’ll see how bad and bad for us it is. Sure ...good intentions, but if not even “The Church” has decent real good men working in it, was rife with abuse of power..lWHY THE ACTUAL FUCK DO PEOPLE BELIEVE this NEW field of work won’t be rife with the same problems and scary ass shitty people in power!????? We’ve literally traded “god” and “the church” in for psychiatry. Wether one believes in god or not, there still was a certain set of rules to be followed, whereas in psychiatry they can make up whatever shit they want. Plenty of studies contradicting other studies. No real tests. It’s total mayhem that relies on pointing out what’s “wrong” with you and absolutely NO examples of what IS right, no set “this is how a mentally healthy person should be like”.... because if they did compile such a configuration practically no person would fit that scene...it’s total FANTASY and blame/attack/punish anyone who doesn’t fit my ideal/perception of what’s ok. It’s so rife with plenty of opportunities of corruption. Since when has humanity ever been “good enough” not to fall through some sort of crack from time to time? 60 years ago homosexuals were insane. 100 years ago women who were “hysteric” (abused!) were insane. 200 years ago people of African decent who were slaves were believed to be insane if they tried to run away to get freedom but this was from the straight up abuse!!! If you decide to go for therapy you MUST know this is a belief system and based on some random person’s perception of you. Now think on how many people you’ve met and just didn’t get along with but perceived them in the negative. There’s no great persons out there who is going to be so smart and so loving and so good that they’ll not have misperceptions about at least 50% of people they meet, regardless of “schooling” and “higher education”... it’s a fucking dangerous fantasy that frighteningly most people believe in. And if you don’t see how evil this can get, you haven’t read much on the topic at all. Get to it.
My therapist is definitely not a bad therapist, but I feel like she's not doing anything to help me improve. It seems like it's useless going there. We talk for an hour, I lay out all my dirty laundry and how my emotional state has gotten worse, and then I leave. No progress is ever made in the 10 sessions I've had with her so far. I'm basically begging at this point for her to give me some feedback on how to improve and something I can do at home to get better. What do I do Dr. Morton?
i've had it before. consider quitting, because it might as well be just wasting your time and money. but first talk to her about it, don't break it, but try to make it a nice goodbye.
The court said pay a fine or go to a psychiatrist for 12 visits.I lied each time and said I killed someone.the police asked me who it was but I asked did the psychiatrist tell you.they both lied.
She should be referring you to somebody else. Every client has different needs and every counselor has a different skill set. A good therapist should realize when she can't help someone and refer them to someone with different skills.
Numbers 2 & 5 were definitely my 2nd therapist. My weekly goals gradually turned into her own personal agenda, as she "saw her younger self" in me & that I had "good potential as a therapist". When she pushed a goal too far one week, I plucked up the courage to say that I felt scared that the ever growing stress could lead me to relapse in order to cope (self harm). The response from my therapist was very defensive - "Is that a threat? Are you threatening me? Are you threatening your counsellor?" - I instantly shut down as this reminded me of my mentally/emotionally abusive father - Warning bells!!! :/ If any of Kati's 5 signs stand out to you, please take time to stop & think if this therapist is right for you. Your health, well-being & recovery should be top priority
Sophie Cate-Gray oh god, I relate to the dad thing. My dad was abusive, and my counselor knows this. But, she keeps assuming I'm super angry at him, and it's actually kinda hurtful, because those kinds of relationships are very complicated. He was ill, I never blamed him, but she's pushing me to hate him and blame him :(
Number one honestly hurts the most for me because I got to the point where I thought I was crazy that this professional did not seem to believe I was struggling even when my whole life had fallen apart and I could no longer function or feel. Deterred me from seeking help after them and trusting people.
As a young therapist myself, I went in to therapy this week for some self-care and maintenance following some trauma therapy I had done in the past. There I met with a therapist who skipped informed consent procedure and after hearing my account of intrusive thoughts and trauma symptoms immediately asked if I was a controlling person. Without much inquiry into my symptoms he then told me that I didn't have trauma or ADHD, but GAD. Without consulting a prescriber, he said I should stop taking my prescribed ADHD medication. He said that people with ADHD develop rejection sensitivity because they are a "pain in the ass to everyone around them". He then said he just wasn't connecting to my issues and that he couldn't help me. That last part is the only the only thing he got right.
I am shocked when clients discuss with me(a therapist) the way their prior therapists have been with them. Blurring the lines between being a professional and being a friend. If your therapist is looking for a buddy it's time to find someone new. Great video
Yeah. I have been working as a therapist for officially 1 year and it is interesting and very sad to see how common Katie's list is. Videos like this keeps me accountable I want to grow into the best therapist I can be for those I serve.
There are terrible therapists out there. As a survivor of long term childhood sexual abuse, at 30 yrs old I finally worked up the courage to see a therapist and tell someone. I ended up in a sexual relationship with my therapist. A friend made me see how crazy it was....zero trust in anyone now.
@Robin Tiefel The sad truth, Robin, is that there are those of us who have multiple illnesses -- including constant pain -- complicating our mental health diagnoses and treatment. We literally can't "get out there" and I've been hurt too many times by people online that it has proven to make connecting a very daunting prospect anymore at all. In my case, I actually DO have to pay for a friend to listen to me, and I would suspect that the majority of people with any kind of immediately troubling mental health care concerns feel the same way as I do.
My wife and I were seeing one that not only forgot details, he forgot my wife's NAME... over and over and over through several sessions he would call her the wrong name, and not always the same wrong name. We gave him the benefit of the doubt for too long. Right before we dropped him, I lost my cool with him and raised my voice, "You've got a legal pad in your lap... WRITE IT DOWN!" (expletives omitted)
Legion of Weirdos I'm gonna be honest. He probably knew her name and was doing it on purpose. There's no way yoy can forget someone's name that much. Especially if you see them frequently. Not to mention the credit card and the file he has. I might be wrong though and he could just be stupid. However, in my experience, people pretend to forget names to be rude more often than you'd expect.
Osephinejay It is pretty shocking how many therapists seem to just kind of be bullies and leave you wondering why on earth they chose to be therapists in the first place when they seem to just be kind of terrible. So I'm curious if you are right and he really was doing it on purpose? Legion of Weirdos I'm sorry the two of you had to put up with that and I can relate to giving someone the benefit of the doubt for way to long!
Number 4! All of the therapists I’ve had have been that type. I faithfully went to one for a year, once a week. At the end she said ‘’ok, now it’s time to come up with a new treatment plan. It’s just something that is required by the county.’’ That was my last session with her because we had never worked on or even so much as mentioned the original “Treatment plan”. I came to her with specific and serious issues that were never touched. I just kept talking and talking. I was wondering when it was going to start. How much information did she need? Well, she wasn’t really doing anything but hanging out and getting paid. Complete waste of my time and faith crushing.
elsa Grace I’ve had the exact same thing in the UK! I guess the only way you can get a chance at a decent therapist is to have the money for a private one.
My therapist would just stare at me and then ask about more and more stuff and after I've finished she would just kinda shrug and sit with me in silence for 20 minutes. I didn't even know why she asked about those things if it never went anywhere...
My typical 1 hr therapy session goes like this 0-20 min: monologue about italian cooking 20-50 min: talk about day-to-day events and when I try to bring up what's bothering me he quickly shifts the conversation back to day-to-day events because "nothing is wrong" 50-60 min: what he and his wife are going to do this weekend Notes: name of the restaurant I went to a few days ago
My therapist did 4/5 of these plus a bunch of other bad stuff that actually made things worse. I was suicidal and self harming because I refused to tell anyone I was unhappy, and kept all my emotions bottled up. She told me to keep smiling through the pain, and "fake it til you make it," even though faking it was precisely the reason I was there. She broke patient confidentiality CONSTANTLY, and anytime I told her anything she would immediately tell my parents about it, wether it was important or not. So I stopped telling her anything, lied and said I was feeling better, stopped taking my meds, and got way worse. I was mandated 4 months of therapy because my school found out I was self harming, but as soon as those 4 months were over I stopped going and I haven't gotten help since. That was 5 years ago, and somehow I made it through to the other side and I'm happier than I've ever been. I'm in college now, and I want to be a therapist for living. Just because I want to be NOTHING like her.
Another sign I'd add is if they go out of their way to break confidentiality especially if they don't have a conversation with you about it first and why it has to happen.
The worst thing for me have been when it feels like my theraphist is putting me down. I know that this is also my own insecurities but when I told him he just laughed at me, or got angry saying that I was completely wrong. Wich means that he really did put me down, but subtly. Subtly down putting from people in power is like the number one thing I hate most in the world cause it happens litterly all the time and these people ALWAYS have other people defending them so you feel like you cant trust any of your own feelings.
93parasol that’s awful. I’m sorry that happened. As far as laughing, I laugh easily, not insecurity but because I enjoy people’s humor and silly quirks like a goofy face as if to express humor.But I always tell my clients that my laughter is me enjoying their humor and wit and not AT them. They understand and I further clarify that our space and time together is to express honesty and honor respect in order to achieve our goals for betterment. I always always appreciate my clients honesty
You have a right to your feelings (body)and to your thoughts (mind). It helps to not confuse the two. You can think anything , but a fact can be investigated for validity.
Thank you for making this, before I stopped going to him my therapist made me feel like I was making all my problems up. He figured since I was able to talk to him then I mustn't have any social problems, and that I was just lazy because I felt uncomfortable driving. He asked me the same questions every time we met too "do you drive yet?" "Are you still in school?" "Do you live around here?" and even on our last session he asked the same things. He also liked to remind me that I was often his last patient like I was a burden and he just wanted to go home. I figured this was all normal at first but soon got sick of the 0% progress we were making and left.
I was asked similar questions too. It got to the point where I just stopped going to her as she was more concerned about my spending habits and crack addicted uncle at the time than me. She made me feel like shit and it was even affecting my life at home which was utter chaos already. My uncle in the 10 years since I've talked to the woman has done time in prison and died about 2 years ago from an overdose but it brings little solace to me.
I'm kinda similar. I tell my therapist I'm shy, but since Im able to be very open sometimes, like at work, I feel like I have to prove how shy I am. Idk maybe it's just me. Add I also go a whole sessions not being able to open up to my therapist and I don't know how to overcome it
I had second thoughts about going to another therapist (although I was sure it was the right thing deep down) but what you said on number four really made me feel confident in my decision. I had this lovely lady as a therapist for three years, who probably really cares for me, but I would feel so often that we would just talk and talk about irrelevant things and we wouldn't actually work on something, even though I kept mentioning very specific things I'd like to work on. And in the end when I sometimes got frustrated about the situation she would tell me something like "people change very gradually", "you have to be patient" and stuff like that. The only reason I'm sharing this is so anyone else in a similar situation doesn't hesitate and 1) openly talk about it with your therapist, and if nothing really changes, 2) find another one.
This is an old video, but a helpful one. I just left my therapist of four years and am about to set up an appt with a new one. The previous one never did anything with me, she basically asked me how I was doing and then I talked for an hour. Most of the time I felt awkward, and forced to think of things to talk about. She sometimes suggested fixes to problems but I had only talked about the problems because I didn't have anything to talk about, and they were actually really superficial. She never gave me coping skills, gave me things to work on, or even went any deeper than just chats once a week. I was suicidal and in and out of inpatient care for a while and found out what therapy was actually supposed to be like, and found out she was bad. Hopeful I find a better one.
I went to a school counselor and I always felt like I had to “prove something”, like I had to prove I was right. But seeing that I’ve never had therapy before, I thought it was normal to feel frustrated every time I saw her.
Before being released from the hospital following a suicide attempt I was recommended my first therapist by one of the inpatient doctors and man... you would think they would make sure to recommend a good therapist to people who recently attempted suicide but I guess not lol. I went to 4 sessions and she literally did nothing, every session was practically a repeat of the last because she didn't remember anything and would ask the same basic questions over and over ("do you have any siblings?" "what are your siblings like?" "what are your parents like?" "are you in school?"ect) it felt like she barely remembered who I was. Also when I was talking about how I failed a class she brought up another patient of hers and was like "I have a patient that failed P.E., can you believe that? How can you not pass P.E.?" like she was trying to make me feel better by putting down another patient, which really backfired because I had also failed P.E. in the past lol so that completely broke any trust because she was clearly judgmental and had no problem speaking down on her patients to others. She also said something like "at least you aren't as bad as some of my other patients", which just made me feel like I had something to prove because ffs I just attempted suicide and I feel pretty insane, and youre telling me I'm not so bad off? She would brush off the stuff I wanted to talk about and change the subject too, like I literally told her I self harmed and she was basically like "well that didn't accomplish anything did it? Anyways how is school going" like WHAT LOL? And she set goals but she didn't offer me any help in accomplishing them, like she told me I needed to get a job but she never tried guiding me through my issues that were making it difficult to get a job in the first place. She really just didn't seem like a therapist, it was as if she didn't really know what she was doing..
I can't get past the fact of what you shared about your experience, I'm sorry you were at a very low point in your life, I do hope things are better for you at this time.
Bullseye 🎯 u hit the nail . I'm struggling with the same kind of situation rn, my therapist won't bother listening to me she straight up invalidates my emotions and won't stop talking about herself, i don't get a chance to talk at all when i do she quickly changes the topic and talks about something in your life, she discloses other client's info and thinks every other male client wanna hookup with her. Finally when i fed up and asked her skills to fix my binge eating habits she ignored me and won't address the topic at all. All she said was try to distract yourself for 10mins. 😞 I really hate her. I was suicidal when i reached her and she brushed me off and started talking about her life instead
I told my therapist once that I dated a girl who sexually assaulted me multiple times and her response “well your too young too date anyway” and then goes on for the rest of my session about how her daughters at both in their twenties and are still single and never dated anyone so I as a teenager shouldn’t have dated anyone anyway cause I was to young
I actually find it beneficial to know about my therapist's experiences in life. Plus to me, it's useful to know a bit about the person I am spending hours with, it makes me feel like I can trust them.
Yes! Belittling your situation or problems you have is something I've experienced with therapy. I've attempted therapy a few different times and there's quite a lot of other negative experiences I've had with it that aren't mentioned here. One of which is them blaming you for all of your problems and making out they are all your fault. I've also had them give me tasks that won't be beneficial and are just for the sake of having a goal to reach and long winded analogies that are very loosely relevant to my situation. I feel like a lot of them are quite confrontational, and accuse you of different things, or spend most of the session trying to taunt you and come across like they ridiculing and mocking you. A lot of it has come across my like a character assassination. I also feel like they wrote their own storylines about your life based on minor things you told them, like they've interpreted what you've said it a certain way or only latched on to one bit of information, which causes them to make assumptions and make very unhelpful statements. Another thing they seem to do, is suggest something that you already knew needed doing but they don't offer any sort of guidance in carrying that out. Yh, all my experiences with therapy have sucked.
RandomUploads2017 All mine have sucked too. What brought me to this video today is the therapists making assumptions issue. I have been 110% invalidated by that. I had one who my husband would go in to see before me. When I would go in he would assume I was in better shape than my old mother in law who was actually in much better shape than me . I couldn’t even walk from passing out, having one eye and being in a wheelchair for many years. But he assumed that I was doing great and soooo much better than her. There was another big assumption he made too. They were both detrimental to my health.
I so agree with you I have experience this from several different therapist with lack of knowledge to treat ptsd . Belittling my education mostly on flipping the story around of what I say. I told her I graduated from college and she said so you have an Associates degree. I could go on it’s subtle but toxic.
my bad therapist story: went to see a therapist at 16 because my mum was dependin on me too much and the stress and pressure were killing me. didn't have the exact words to describe this because i was 16. therapist was insistent that i was actually the one who was too dependent on my mother which according to her was the reason i wasn't doing too well in school (??). we never established any treatment plan. she never took notes. yelled at me once when i had a sudden silent episode where i couldn't speak. after my grandma died the therapist said "oh was that the one you didn't love anyways?" note: i never spoke badly of either of my grandmas during therapy. i went to the full 26 sessions with her because, again, i was 16 and didn't know what therapy was supposed to be like, i didn't notice how i didn't make any progress and was scared to quit. i was so glad when it was over.
Your description of life was exactly the same as mine. Even down to your grandmother which I resented a lot she passed when I was 16. I started therapy at 16 and it didn't go well for me. My father also died that same year so my mother who I didn't have the best relationship with dependent heavily on me to support the family. As soon as I was able to work I took on everything chores, dinner, mowing the lawn. I knew my efforts could keep us above water when in reality a couldn't handle it alone. I feel you were just doing what you could to make the situation better. You shouldn't have been gaslighted for that. And yeah the therapists job is to write things down. They have lots of patients to keep track of and recall is important.
Therapist should have clearly been treating you and your parents in boundary setting and condemning the parentification of a child, which very commonly has long lasting damaging global and pervasive, mental health effects. Bad therapist to be sure by todays standards. On the other hand back in those days the popular psychology theories were only just beginning to understand the psychosocial ramifications of long standing cultural norms like parentification, corporal punishment and public shame, or neglect (latchkey kids), as abuse and forms of abusive parenting. Additionally the boomer generation was massively eroding the strict social control norms from their parents generation and rejecting the historic idea that family includes more than just the needs of the immediate nuclear family of adult parent and their juvenile offspring. We’ve clearly seen the ramifications of that social experiment and it’s long term effect on the Xennial and Millenial generational issues (I speak only of my experience in the US), and why so many of them as parents have become more child or family dynamic centric than their parents’ generation were.
The point about not working towards goals is interesting. I've talked a lot about things that bother me in therapy, but there's never really been a coherent plan of how to improve my wellbeing, it's just chatting. I wasn't sure how helpful it was and was feeling a little down thinking this is the only treatment option, but if that's not what's meant to happen in therapy then really, that's useful to know.
Kassie Stepanova different therapists view creating goals differently, some with very defined goals, some with more flexible ones. However, if you don't feel like you are working on the symptoms/issues you initially came in for, that may be a warning sign.
You should ALWAYS have a treatment plan, that's what you're there for. If you feel like you haven't got goals laid out and are not working towards them, the therapist is a bad one and waste of your time.
Alot of therapists must suck ass then holy shit this whole entire comment section is filled with comments about bad therapists my therapists aren't the best either
Number 6: When your therapist pushes you away and talks about how another person more suitable for them could take your spot. (Had a mental breakdown on the way home after that)
I've had a few therapists throughout my life, and two recently whom I have had issues with because I felt like they didnt believe me and even subtly ridiculed me and my problems. I reflected on it for a while and I think, for me, an issue is that I am a milennial and both of my recent therapist 'attempts' have been 50+. A common pattern I have encountered is that they don't take my friendships seriously because most of them are on the internet - I have extremely close friends over the internet, closer than I've ever had any in real life, but for my therapists it seemed as if the lack of physical contact made them less valid as friendships, and that was deeply hurtful. They also didn't seem to understand that my mental illnesses make it hard for me to talk about myself and to open up, and "just talk about yourself for a little" isn't something that works for me. I am also very high-functioning because I have learned to hide my mental illnesses very well in fear of people seeing through me, and neither therapist was able to see though this.
That is one thing when I see a therapist before, my first and last one, I never mentioned online, I did edit myself, I did from the start actually, told her why I was there and she didn't get it so I just said it was other shit, but that stuff wasn't top of the agenda you know, so after that I edited my online mates to their names and "we hung out" haha horrible isn't it though, my one was older too, say she was 50 or so coming to think of it, I relate to what you are saying too, it would be nice if they could lift the veil so to speak, lead us into too. Anyway, hope you are keeping well!
I too can relate. I find it much easier to relate online than in person. I've had my share of bad therapists. Good ones are hard to find. There was one I really felt comfortable with and began trusting. I was looking forward to a long therapeutic relationship with her. She in turn, announced she was moving away and referred me to someone else. I felt as if I had the rug pulled out from under me. Now I find it more difficult to trust.
Literally, when I seen my psychologist the last time before December, she told me that she didn't even know why I was seeing her, that clearly I had problems but it didn't matter. its been two years that I've been seeing her and I personally see myself getting better (anxiety wise) and I told her and she completely shut me out and said I was wrong! She almost never remembers previous sessions and almost always disregards what I wanna talk about.. But at the begging of the December someone close to me committed suicide, it was very hard and she had came to school that Monday, we had found out three days before, I did not wanna talk to her, I only wanted to talk to the one teacher I was extremely close too but didn't wanna burden her so I kept it all to myself. My teacher realized this and went to my psychologist which made her come to me, and knowing I wouldn't be rude and tell her to leave. I opened up to her, it was the first time I've full on cried and broke down and actually felt like she cared.. I don't know what to feel towards her anymore.
Danyka It's really important to realize that one event doesn't clear up a history of poor behavior. If that psychologist wasn't treating you very well before, there's always the chance that, even if in that moment they were very compassionate, their dismissive attitude could continue afterwards too. This is all for your benefit. Maybe it's better to find someone else if you can. If it has taken her two years to develop any kind of compassion, that seems like a *bad* sign.
***** i had mentioned to her that I don't like how she acts and treats me and she got very offended, trying to hide it but she didn't do very well. Then she told me that she could "give" me to someone else but it would make things complicated ect.. I told myself that I'm gonna wait till my next session, mid January, since the last time I seen her was when that happened just to see how she'll be.. if nothing changes I will most definitely stop seeing her.
Look up Kati's video on quiet narcissists...I've had doctors, therapists, counselors and arrogant college professors with those traits or personalities...
I remember my therapist arrived 20 minutes late and end the session 15 minutes before because "the topic is to long for just these few left couple of minutes" (the therapy was just an hour)... and I never complained because I was afraid he would hate me for that and wouldn't help me anymore
I had a Therapist who was just plan rude and would talk about my weight all the time and she was not very nice i don't deal well with rude people. Now i have a new Therapist and she is a sweetheart and understanding
Mine wanted to hit on me and would say flirtatious things that were so innapropritate. I left him as my therapist rather quickly but I made sure to report him.
@@mgd6087because I think this one is something that’s too obvious and is out on the surface to determine if a therapist is crossing the line. I think in this video she wanted to put emphasis on things that sit more in the gray area and that maybe most people miss or deny or it goes unnoticed for many people, kind of the nuances that go under the radar.
A bit late to the party I guess but I did want to mention two more things that could be bad signs. I had an experience once with a therapist who was making judgements about things in my life, even my choice of partner. She was basically telling me I should break up with her during the second session. Now, that relationship didn't last but I thought that was uncalled for. Secondly, there are therapist who can't keep their personal beliefs out of it, suggesting (unasked even) to people they should go to church as part of their therapy. Therapy is not a place for proselyting and it's unethical for a couple of reasons in my view. Those are two additional things that I consider bad signs.
A therapist should never judge you or make you feel judged. Even if you are in a bad relationship and they know the right "move" to make, they need to make you come to that realization on your own - not tell you. A therapist that gives you direct answers like that isn't doing their job right. They need to do things like "Would you feel your life would improve if you decided to go in a direction without that person?" Like posing it in a way where the answer is your choice, not theirs. You should feel you are talking to someone without any judgment or strong opinions - they need to keep it to themselves.
I actually had a therapist who was an atheist try to push the idea that God isn't real on me... All I was talking about was the fact that I felt worthless. She said, "Well, God isn't real. There's no expectations, and you should just live how you want. When you die, it's just going to be nothingness." ... yikes.
For sure man! So sorry you experienced it all. And yes therapists that don’t know how to express the way they view what you tell them and come across as aggressive and too controlling or just not emptahetic is a total red flag. And for sure the ones try to proselytize omg that’s just sad.
I once had a therapist that: 1) Told me to research subjects myself and report my findings 2) Suggested that imaginary friends may be beneficial 3) Rarely listened to my problems 4) Eventually switched me to a guy who immediately suggested electroshock therapy So basically, I started running.
When I tried to talk about the main problem of my problematic situation to my therapist she told me that us teenagers only find issues on everything. It wasn't even related to any teenagers topics, wow
By reading these comments, it seems like what most people really need, are good friends they can open up to and confide in. Are we living in a society where we now need to pay someone to care about us and listen to our problems?
@@sarge1408 The problem is that support isn't built into our society, even mental health is a commodity to be sold, and that's a huge problem. The problem is that "That's the way it is." What I'm seeing, and saying, is that you should be able to talk to a friend, instead of hiring a therapist. And that's not happening a lot of the times, according to the comments I'm reading.
A depressed person is difficult to be around, friends are not your therapists, they don’t actually care about your problems and don’t appreciate when you trauma dump on them.
Family and friends can be an amazing source of support as long as they work on supporting you and not joining in a ‘pity party’ or taking sides if that’s the situation. And if they know you well they can offer some really helpful pointers. But I always remember something the actress Laura Dean said a long time ago - she was happy to pay someone who had no agenda with her other than for her to be their client. So they were focussed on her issues. Not someone trying to ‘steer’ her. I liked that. Made sense.
Last September is when I got my first therapist. She was really nice and over time a bond formed between us. I loved going and I would tell my friends about her. But then over time there was this voice in my head saying “she’s not doing a good job” and “this isn’t healthy”, I have an anxiety disorder so I pushed those thoughts away. But soon I started dreading going to therapy and my symptoms started to get worse. (I don’t know if the worsening symptoms are connected to her but I might as well bring it up). During those times, I realized that she never gave me “homework” or small goals, only long term goals. The only “homework” she gave was using a mediation app. She started talking to me as if we were friends, and it sorta scared me. She had to leave due to personal stuff and I was moved to another therapist. This one was much more professional, and that caused my mom to dislike her. I only saw her for a couple months because she also had to leave for personal stuff, but she did tell me that my first therapist only worked there for a couple months before I started seeing her. I don’t know if she was a bad therapist but there were some things that made me a bit uncomfortable when with her.
I had a bad experience myself with a therapist, he met some of these criteria. I have CPTSD, and as a 16 year old I was a complete mess. I couldn't function, so I was sent to a therapist. This was a mistake. First, before I even had time to really even tell him why I was there. He immediately started pushing CBT. I said I wanted to try something else first and he seemed insulted by the notion of my refusal. So, after a few weeks of him poking and prodding I finally gave in and decided to try it. What followed I can compare to cutting open an old gunshot wound to pull out a bullet, only to leave the bullet in and leave the wound open. He made me recall things I wasn't ready for, I shut down entirely and he told me "If you don't tell me what happened, I am going to cancel our sessions". I tried to tell him, but I broke down and I had to be taken to the hospital. He met me there, told me I was fine and left. After that he make the sessions further and further apart, until eventually he just stopped seeing me. I am still deeply affected by my trauma and my symptoms have gotten so much worse as time has gone on. My Advice, if a therapist tries to force you into something you don't want to do...leave.
What he did is called "flooding" and it can be lethal because reactions like yours can easily happen. Your advice is simple and basic. (It can also apply outside of therapy).
I was in a group therapy once and the psychologist talked about her clients and their problems a lot, which was okay as a way to help us understand stuff, but what wasn't cool was that she TOLD US who her clients were! Some of them we knew! She also always related everything to religion. We do live in a country where the majority of people are Muslims, but I just think talking about sin all the time isn't the most effective for a therapy session. Plus not everyone is Muslim or even religious! She makes me so mad even just remembering the session haha. That was the only time I've ever been in a therapy session.
A few years ago, I had a therapist who judged me. I was struggling with cutting, and during the very first session, one of the first things she said was "oh, admiring your art work?" Also, she said she wondered if I always act like this. I felt about 2 inches tall. Needless to say, I left and never went back.
Thanks for this video. I’ve had a few bad ones. They all met criteria 2 (they don’t remember). They also met criteria 4 but not in the sense of idle chat, rather they asked me to repeat my problem each time we met. It never went further, just repetition of the negative, in other words ruminating. One more seminal point is that psychologists have programmed themselves to say the opposite of what I am saying. For instance when I say I want to avoid medication they always recommended medication. Conversely, when I say I think medication is necessary, the next psychologist expresses critique of medication and emphasizes other treatments. Another example is when I say that upbringing is the most significant root of my problems, in those cases the psychologist downplays upbringing and accentuates genetic heritage instead. I have met say eight psychologists and they all have showcased this behaviour. I understand they get taught in school to act as a counterweight in order to offer new insights, but once you recognise the strategy it gets ridiculous and in fact a rather childish game. I confronted the last psychologist I met on this issue. At first she denied it and said she didn’t believe those experiences of mine were true at all, within a few seconds however she admitted that this counterweight-strategy is something they routinely employ.
I had a therapist who ALWAYS talked about herself for a good chunk of the session. Or would talk about things regarding herself that had no necessity to the conversation. And I never felt like I was improving, because she hardly gave me any goals. Instead she would have me think of a homework for the week. Like, how am I supposed to know how to work on my problem, that’s the whole reason I’m here!
My old therapist refused to allow me to complain about my mother in any way because (in her words) 'she's a single parent' and I guess she felt some kind of sympathy for her for that reason. I didn't realize until years later that she was not supposed to do this.
Thank you, ugh, so many “bad therapists” out there ... and they actually creates this air of authority that makes you cant tell to their face they’re bad. Going to my 4th one this week...seems promising but we will see.
True. When I was in therapy program for my clinical depression, my therapist always talked about herself a lot and compared me with her worse patients. Felt like she tried to say "you are a whiny baby. Get over it" That's why I cut it off after 3 months therapy (she only scheduled one session in a month and there was no medication/healing program, she only told me to pray. Although I've told her I'm a non-believer).
Well said! As a therapist I have heard nightmare stories about bad therapy sessions. Unfortunately I think having one bad therapy session with a bad therapist turns a lot of people off to the process. I've had clients come in saying you're the first therapists I've seen in over a decade because of a bad experience. I know that every profession has weird people but it seems like therapy has more than its fair share of... let's say unique personality types.
Number 1 and 5 happened to me a couple of times with my first therapist. Now I'm with another who is much better and has more experience with LGBT people and people in general. Great video! :)
@@v838monocerotis9 what a shitty therapist. I would go to one with more experience. Or I would be honest and mature and say "I will look into how to help you, come up with ideas and get back to you next week."
It's ok to say if they follow up with some other response like: Do you know what kind of help you want? or I'm going to do some work and read up or consult with someone to try to find some help. It shouldn't give you the feeling that you are hurting them by having a problem that they can't fix (and so they won't get an ego boost from "helping" an injured person). You should never hear a hostile: "Well why are you asking ME?!"
My therapist has gotten my name wrong multiple times. She was even 20 late for an appointment because she got another patient with the same first name mixed up.
My therapist is absolutely excellent. It took me 10 years to get the help I needed. I went to a lot of very bad therapist but she is so good and gave me a new life.
Mah babie ASMR Or when you have major depressive disorder and you’re in a depressive episode but the therapist keeps focusing on one thing you’re talking about and telling you that you’re depressive episode is situational. 😞 Yes, I know I’m having a hard time with this ONE particular issue that’s coming to the surface but are you NOT hearing me that I’ve been slowing feeling myself getting more and more depressed over these past several months, that coworkers have noticed me changing, that I can’t pin point why I’m depressed!? But no, let’s ignore the four years of sessions previously and focus on this one time and label it situational. 🙄
Mah babie I really wanna become a psychiatrist someday (which is why watch these videos for tips and stuff), and I can’t wrap my head around the fact that some mental health professionals do things like what you said. I’m glad I’ve been through both so I can tell the difference between the two
I have two to add from my own experience from my former bad therapist: acting annoyed with your distress and generally acting like you’re “too much”. Additionally, making a mistake in billing insurance and then trying to force me to pay out of pocket because she messed up. Yeah that was the end for me.
For me, 3 and 4. I text my therapist very sparingly and even then, it's to let her know that I want to talk about something that happened/is happening so that we can focus on that. And 4, is because I've been seeing her for more than a year now and if its a "friendly" type of conversation, it allows me to open up more and be more relaxed.
My therapist was very judgmental and this was my first session. She recommended me depressed and anxiety medication . I thought medication was the last resort! She kept looking at the clock. No empathy and I was crying and also left crying. It was a horrible experience
I had a therapist who did not try to hide the fact that she was judging some of my personal life choices. She made it very obvious and did not care about hiding her judgement. I also had a therapist who would talk so much that I sometimes felt like I had to wait a really long time to get a word in. She was talking about me, in a way where she was trying to help me, but I couldn’t talk about what I wanted to talk about! My current therapist is very helpful. She feels like a friend in the sense that I don’t feel judged by her (not in an unprofessional way), and she allows ME to direct the conversation and talk as much as I want to. She has helped me.
I am in a group and we have several therapists but none of us like one in particular. She never actually gives any advice. She on a weekly basis just brings in packets of printed out websites and reads off of them. Whenever we try to bring up anything serious she just says "I understand what you must me going through" and that's it. She calls on people and forces them into uncomfortable situations, sometimes accusing people of things and just making things worse. She will cut people off and say "I don't want to hear this" and force them into silence/changing the subject. She purposely triggers patients (she has plainly stated she does this with no regret). I remember a couple of times she straight up insulted a patient. So I would qualify her as a bad therapist.
Thank you for making this video. My old therapist made me feel like crap- I was constantly having to prove myself to her, it was like nothing I was ever dealing with was "bad enough".
A good therapist takes you seriously, they listen, they show you they care, and they give you hope. I know because I had a great therapist back I. Seattle and I owe her my life. Margaret , wherever you are. Thank you.
I've been in therapy but I plan to get into it when I'm 18 and don't need parents consent. These videos are very helpful and informative. Thanks Kati, hope you had a good Christmas.
