5 Tricks People Use To Manipulate You 

The title manipulated me

My therapist says, "healthy people change their mind" and that has helped me a lot .

" dont you Trust me?" "Trust is earned. And you havent earned it yet. Sorry."

Knowing when to say *" No. "* will help you get out in alot of situations you don't want to get into. *" No. "* & *" I just said no. "* are the words against manipulators. It might be hard, but remember its for your best.

People really hate it when you don't react the way they expected you to when they try to entrap you in a combative conversation. The power to walk away is a beautiful thing.

"But you said..." Yeah, I did say that. I also just said no I don't want it. Did you miss that part? *salesman has left the chat*

The old "Well I NEVER!" objection when you offend someone is best replied with, "Well, you have now!"

“Other people don’t always have your best interests in mind” The main takeaway from the video. Just remember this anytime you are dealing with other people, and how they are trying to manipulate you.

One of the most common ones is “Get in the Car! Or I’ll shoot”

"Oh you dont trust me?" The answer "No." Always works

The only phrase I need to manipulate anyone: "Would you kindly..."

"Let me talk to my wife and I'll get back to you..", ALWAYS works for me.. ánd I'm not even married!😁😄😅

"you dont trust me?!" is something untrustworthy people say.

*Clicks the video to check that you're not unintentionally being toxic and using manipulative phrases on people you care about*

There is also self manipulated. Many times, I’ve told myself “don’t throw a good thing away” instead of thinking about a new path.

Whenever someone says "Trust Me", I'm always immediately suspicious.

"But you said..." "I say lots of things." *proceeds to pick nose while maintaining serious, direct eye contact*

“learning to avoid it is good,but learning how to counter it is even better” Sun Tzu-

"If you eat your vegetables, you'll grow up strong like superman." "Do you eat your vegetables?" "Of course!" "How come you're not strong like superman?"

I always say that there is a fine line between charm...and manipulation.

I'm just going to stop talking. Interacting with people is so stressful.

"I guess I'm a bad person." "Why do I have to be the bad guy?" "Do I still matter?" "If thats the way you feel." "I guess you don't love me anymore." These are the ones I heard a lot, but I was faced mostly with emotional manipulation.

Lack of accountability will tell all u need to know . They never reflect on theirselves to say u know maybe I’m wrong and I do need to work on that no . They will blame u every time

It takes a looooooong time to get to know anyone. Don't let other people pressure you into anything!

Also "I would never lie to you" from a complete stranger is never to be trusted.

How NOT to be manipulated: don't talk to anyone

A whole video on phrasing by narcissists can take this even further, as narcissistic people have made verbal manipulation into a highly evolved art form via gaslighting. Another video on doctors' word games and consequent bad care stories is also entirely possible; one of my friends is literally writing an entire book on how the medical industry has mishandled, ignored, and gaslighted her most of her life - decades in, she is finally getting taken seriously and receiving multiple accurate diagnoses after a lifetime of being disregarded and negated about her serious symptoms.

One I have experienced is. "i've always tried to defend you" that was said by someone who created and spread lies and gossip about me when I wasn't doing anything wrong.

I find that if they say "I have a gun" it's a very manipulative tactic that too many people fall for

1. You said.... Okay, but that's not what I'm saying now 2. I would never... Cool, we're different prople and that's okay, it takes all types. 3. Don't throw away... I've thought about this. What I stand to gain, is better than what I stand to loose. 4. A good man/woman should be... Says who? *explain your position and why you chose it* 5. This is how things are done here... all the same, I'll do some shopping around for myself.

I think it is also totally fine to say "No, I do not trust you, I do not know you well enough, I do not know this situation well enough and I would like to proceed with caution". I think anytime someone throws at you "you don't trust me" they already are demonstrating a high degree of manipulation so there is absolutely no need to be overly sensitive about 'hurting' their feelings. They are hurting yours by saying it, putting you in a super awkward situation, you are merely standing your ground. Remember, that OTHER person is the one that actually doesn't trust you, that is why they are throwing this tactic at you, if they did, they would be willing to proceed slower and on YOUR terms, instead, they are pushing YOU to proceed on THEIR terms. NO!

Them: "I would never..." Me: "I would...in a heartbeat." Meet that phrase head-on and don't be afraid to be you. But, I am not trying to fit in with everyone else so other's opinion don't matter to me.

Seriously I love how you pointed out at the beginning that sometimes it's good to let the manipulation happen. I have on several occasions noticed nurses trying to calm me down using very obvious ways to distract me (I have a phobia of needles) but I let them do that because it still helps.

"You don't trust me?" "Look it's not that i don't trust you, it's just that i don't trust you." XD

I think it can be helpful to just call it what it is. My daughter gets the "I won't be your friend anymore if you ..." BS. I told her to tell them that that is manipulation. We will see how it works for her. I wonder how it would work in these scenarios.

Dude you literally have the biggest smile I've ever seen on a person

6. Does this smell like chloroform?

"but you said-" "Only a sith deals in absolutes."

“We are often more afraid of what we stand to lose than why of what we have to gain.” So true.

The moment I started using my brain carefully I realized that I don't have to worry about this things, you can decide what you want and what you don't. Don't leave this decision to someone else.

Another phrase I've heard from manipulative people is "no one can make you feel (fill in blank). You're the only person responsible for your emotions". This is their way of denying all responsibility for being a jerk.

whenever I tried to use the "you said" on my parents when I was a kid, they'd just hit me with the, "stop telling me what I said". My manipulation tactics started early but needed some work.

"You don't trust me?!" "Lol! I don't even trust myself and I know her WAY better than I know you."

Me and my Gf were once drawn into a 'Time-share' scheme. I knew my Gf was easily persuadable. I told the salesman in advance (especially because the weather was nice and a drink and some food after a long journey would do us good) that he could talk all he wanted and offer small tokens all he wanted, that i would not allow him to put a pen in my Gf's hand..i calmly said as i stared into his eyes that i would cause a loud scene. He tried to imply that others would be affected but i repeated my goal: we are NOT signing anything and if he was to put a pen in my Gf's hand he would regret it. After that he told me that he wasn't gonna sell nothing but "could he please pretend to his nearby supervisor that he he was doing a good job". So i allowed him to give my Gf to get a drink and a sandwich but kept that pen in my view. He noticed this. In the next half hour he tried to create a breach between me and my Gf when it came to using a pen to make her sign something. Several times i reminded him of the conditions / repercussion of handing her her a pen; i even intervened when he tried (poor sob tried his best); i took the pen and he was neutralized. At this moment he FULLY understood that i wasn't gonna be Manipulated. Manipulators aren't just gonna take your word for it, they will keep trying. My mind was focused on one thing and one thing only tho; my Gf was NOT gonna sign anything..... I hope this anekdote will help you in the future for those who just read this. The manipulator has a goal so create a strong opposite goal and hold on to it strong!!! Peace be with you! :v:

People who ask you to trust them without earning your trust usually want to manipulate you or at very least don't think you are worthy of an explanation. Unfortunately many accept status as all the evidence they need. The sad part is a lot of people are manipulative without even realizing it and feeling bad about it, and if they get angry they always feel right. You are quite diplomatic, but often the best thing to do is to walk away.

1. You Said 2. I would never 3. Don’t throw away ....... 4. What a good man/woman should be 5. This is how we do things around here

“Don’t throw away everything we’ve built!” “No I’m throwing away everything we’ll destroy”

My two cents. "I am on your side" "A simple yes or no will do" "obviously I failed to get this simple message across so I will repeat it just once more for you" "We need you to understand" "Don't make a fool of yourself" "On your head be it but don't say I did not warn you" "Obviously you do not have what it takes" And finally the most lethal one "Take this as advice from a friend who really cares about you"

When you go to break up with someone and they say they're going to kill themselves. My response was oh, well if you do just know that I will not take any kind of blame whatsoever, and I will just see it as another reason why I should not have been in a relationship with you.

Lucky for me I dont have any friends so I cant be manipulated 😎

One thing I always came across was guilt tripping manipulation. Someone does something “for” you that you didn’t even ask for and then suddenly say “Can you do this for me? I did this for you! It’s only fair!” Trying to guilt trip me into doing stuff I’m uncomfortable doing while I never asked the person to do anything for me in the first place.

My manipulative childhood best friend used to deflect things but saying "but that's not the point!" Or "you really don't get it. Years later I was having an argument with my sister and realized I was saying the exact same things to her. Needless to say that was an eye opening moment in how manipulative characteristics can be contageous.

"If you really loved me, you would not use manipulation tactics to force me to do things I don't want to do" is a good way to deflect pressure on a romantic date with someone

This is gonna help my relationship/relationships I'm so glad I stumbled across this I'm notorious for taking my time to make a decision which people take advantage of (no longer explaining myself or being a victim for manipulation)

I really like your videos. I actually go against the tide in business, but being in business for a very long time now I can see right through the manipulation attempts people do to call me out being wrong way too many times. awesome stuff, have a great day!

Wishing everyone a beautiful and productive week

I'm uncomfortable with the phrase "I'm sorry YOU feel..."

One thing I will add. It's entirely OK to tell people you've just met that you don't trust them. Trust is earned. This has saved me years of my life. Your position of trust with someone you've just met should be zero.

Thank you so much, i cannot express how much im thankfull for this video.. I guess i was acting manipulative without knowing it untill someone told me i was a red flag.. This is life changing, keep up the good work! Now hopefully nobody will send me death threats anymore.

-- Narcissist: "But you said this" -- Me: "I know. Why don't you think about that on your way out?" 😂

Hey Charlie, have you considered doing a video on the phenomenon of "gaslighting" at work and how to handle it? That would be very helpful!

I saw a video that claims that I should stop listening to your videos. Despite what they said, I have found so much help from watching your videos. It has helped me become more self-aware, and has helped me in a wide-range of situations.

I literally had a first case seller (insurance company) on the phone and when he said "but you said you care about your safety" I answered "Yeah, but it doesn't mean I'm gonna buy your policy. I'm not interested"

For you: 5 common phrases people use to manipulate you For me: 5 common phrases to manipulate people

"Don't throw away..." is what's known as the sunk cost fallacy. Believing that you should not give something up just for the fact of how much time you put into it, when in reality there is a high probability of a better outcome.

Nicely done. That last one is golden. I'm 52 and can vouch for it, and honestly, still have to be disciplined in applying it as I am not an assertive person by nature.

I think it's not so much identifying what words people say, but to be conscious of what you are feeling. Once you feel uncomfortable then acknowledge that feeling and act on it.

Why make your answer so wordy, if someone goes "i would never do that" just go "yeah but i would" and leave it at that. What are they gonna argue about there?

- You don't trust me? - Look it's not that I don't trust you, but you don't have any responsibility if things go wrong. Only I am responsible for that, so I'm getting a second opinion.

These always have such good little messages and ideas that always help me when I’m going thru a rough patch.. even when not related, it’s still connected

I love the relationship/industry/authority examples! And the thorough, balanced perspectives, and the words that we can say for/to ourselves! Thanks!

"So you're saying...." Jordan Peterson can tell you about that one

"You don't trust me?" No. I don't. Do YOU trust ME? Let me borrow your credit card.

So happy the algorithms sent me to your channel! Your content is pure excellence and I’m really appreciative that I can watch anytime I want.

I like your positive approach… yes, it’s true… there are people in your life who are trying to influence you to do something they think would be good for you… it’s up to you to decide.

Her: "A REAL man would ________." Me: "Who are you that I need to prove anything to you?"

I think lots of people are being manipulative without they themselves knowing. They just loved to talk their way through to get what they want or have their way. Can you do a video on how to not become manipulative and controlling?

"Don't you trust me?" My response is usually, How can I, we just met?

You touched on it in the last of your five comments above but I think it deserves its own category. The question "don't you trust me?" is a manipulation of its own, and it happens in relationships of All sorts, business, family, romantic. Serious red flag when a relationship is new, business or romantic.

When people say "you don't trust me?" I always reply "I've been screwed over by enough people I was supposed to trust to know not to trust anyone.'

"I wouldn't do that" "Well, I would"

It always stands out to me when I hear "I don't want you to think that..." or "I don't want you to feel like..." It's like they know what they're saying elicits certain thoughts or emotions, but they want to me me wrong for my response instead of them being wrong in what they're saying (or how they're saying it).

"C"mon, you're smarter than this." Me: "I'm smarter than you that's for sure."

0:24 "This isn't always the case." - That is very important. If you feel forced, it's manipulation. If there's _nothing_ in it for you, then the person is manipulating you to your harm. But you could still be manipulated into doing things for your own good. However, it doesn't feel good and breeds mistrust. On the other hand, persuasion respects your free will, making it clear that the decision is yours.

Great video. You should also watch out for gaslighting

I have learned to say no ,or say I am unable to with a kind and respectful tone. And with NO explanation of why I can’t. It is so empowering when you set boundaries.

My god I love this channel. Short, succinct videos, that can really improve social skills.

If knowledge is power then learning is your superpower.

Another phrase of manipulation I've learned to watch out for is, "I want to help you."

Quite true. I made a major life change by focusing on what I was moving toward, rather than on what I was leaving behind.

This is spectacular. More than anything, I am using this to make sure I don't make anyone else feel less than they are. Thank you.

The thumbnail manipulated me.

Stranger: "I'm your friend."

A co-worker of mine has been a rollercoaster of emotion to work with. For a while, I didn't understand what was going on, but upon months of learning and reflection, it became clear. Very first time getting to know this person they shared extremely personal details about their life, which at the time I thought was commendable because of the honesty in revealing the less desireable aspects of their personality, but it was to manipulate me into befriending them and getting close so they could sink their fangs in. Giving me all types of very unwarranted praise as well very early on, which felt odd, but I thought it could just be a nice gesture of peace and friendship upon just starting to work together kind of like foreign tribes will share food with one another to let the other tribe know that they come in peace and good fortune so again, gave this person thr benefit of the doubt. After all this positivity, then started the decline into extreme negative emotions, mood swings of extreme highs and lows, trying to control how work went as if they're the supervisor, framing conversations in ways that we're manipulative like, "you said we we're going to workout together", when I never did or, "you said going to war would be cool", when I never said anything close to that, actually the exact opposite. It's like this person would replace things I'd say with words of whatever person they believed me to be in their own mind like the strawman reference. One day, they thanked me for coming into work overtime, and I'm thinking to myself, "Why are you thanking me like you're my supervisor, and did you a favor??". It's been the most difficult yet greatest work learning experience I've ever dealt with. For months maybe even years I kept it together and stayed calm and in my own space but, because I was a bit clueless about this persons psychological sickness, they broke me down after some time and got me to the point where I was questioning myself. I also started being a personality they'd be pleased with, so work would go smooth and positive, etc. There came a point where I realized this person was sick and vampiric in nature and knew I had to set healthy boundaries for my own well-being and peace of mind. It's been tough, and because I'm learning, I'd fall back into the fangs of this individual through their charm, and then wham! I get those vampiric fangs sunk back into me, and the control and manipulation started right back again. I had the urge to want to be physical, but I'm better and smarter than that, and if I ever did, they win. Setting strong and clear boundaries while focusing on my own passions is the best healthiest option, and when I do that I can literally feel this persons vampiric energy lift off me while sensing their panic because they've lost control and you as their food source. Mind you, in setting these boundaries, I'm still friendly and pleasant. I answer questions politely. I didn't go about setting these healthy boundaries in a malicious or hateful way. I was just DONE and separated myself from this person and the web they're spinning. You have to be wise about individuals like this, and it revealed to me weaknesses within myself I need to work on. If I didn't have those weaknesses, this sick vampiric person wouldn't have been able to feed. I stated this before, but let me be clearer here. From my own experience, once you set these boundaries on this person, they panic a bit because they're in a sick place in life and like a drug addict need their fix which is control and power. Once they don't have you as that pawn for their energy source, they get a bit lost. Through that, they will try to manipulate you into coming back into the web they've spun, so you get caught, and they can feed again. They'll test your boundaries but remain strong because once you stand strong and firm in not being their victim anymore, they'll find someone with weaknesses to feed off of. If there's nobody with those weaknesses inside the environment, you'll notice they'll shrivel up into the weakness that they really are and have to deal with why they don't feel powerful anymore. If they're somewhat introspective, they'll do the work and realize their sickness and fix themselves or remain weak and shriveled up at the bottom of the totem pole. So again, set healthy boundaries mentally and physically and stand firm in your boundaries. There's an urge to want to focus on the toxicity of situations like that because maybe you're mad or hurt, but don't let that consume you. Focus on your hobbies, passions, things that make you laugh and people you love. Those are the things of the spirit and will lift you up out of that toxic cesspool that vampiric individual wants you bathing together in. I'm no educated professional, but I don't think these people are malicious in their intent. I think they are sick, lost, and out of control and have developed that way as a means of social and monetary survival. Because they are lost and out of control, it seems on good days they've fixed themselves, but most likely they have not, and like the Bible says, you'll know them by their fruit. Give it a few days and watch rotten fruit come spilling down from the rafters ready to bury anybody in its path. Know them by their fruit.

Your energy is infectious!

Most common one is “FREE CANDY”

"Don't you trust me?" is a big one too

"What, you don't trust me?" I love when people try and use this one against me, because I always answer honestly. "No, I _don't_ trust you. Why should I?" It sort of goes hand in hand with another one: "Why would I lie to you?" or, more commonly, "What I gotta lie for?" And that's precisely where I go for the throat: "You know what? That's a great question. Why _would_ you lie to me?" I don't know the inner machinations of your mind, so don't try to use that against me. I already know.

You just described my mom... I still do what I want as an adult and I know she does this to me since I'm single and my brother isn't. So she is the only one she can "control" and rest assured, she doesn't. But she still say these things when I'm telling her something new to work/hobbies/relationship and such

Just a friendly reminder to get into the gym today 💪