@CreativeWarrior- My deep condolences for all that you had to go through. Mine is not a piece of cake. Still working through stuff. It was one betrayal after another and no peace yet. I hope soon as I'm in flux currently.
@CreativeWarrior- Thank you. I wish you the same. Joy is the way to ascend. My two little ones bring me a lot of joy to my heart. Watching them play and laugh does my heart a body good. There are days that I cry profusely wishing my babies didn't have to go through what I'm going through, but we will get past this most definitely. I strive to find things to be grateful for and to laugh about so I can get through this dense energy. Thank you so much for your well wishes. Wishing you immense happiness, joy, peace, and prosperity! 💐🌞🤗🙏🏽
Don't tell them anything because they will go and tell everyone. Also don't let them know if you are sick feeling down or depressed etc. Like he said don't show them your emotions and keep your lips zipped about your business and your situations. Also if something good happens for you don't tell them. Keep it to yourself.
“Just let them talk and tell them nothing about yourself.” That right there is the problem, empaths talk too much. Confident people rest within themselves and are comfortable with silence. They only speak when they have something to say, not because they feel like they have to say anything.
How tragic that we have to live like this and second guess everything we say or do. No contact is the only healthy way to navigate these sick individuals. I have just received a message wishing me a safe journey/nice holiday. My last holiday was with the narcissist and he destroyed it. They are vermin.
I know I am not able to develop these skills, I just don't feel like she's worth the effort. I'm 60 and done changing to suit others. I'm way too old for this much crazy.
you do not have to change to suit others, in fact, your being cognizant of what is going on helps you to change yourself, not the other person. you can't change anyone else anyway. so let it be a wake up call to show you whatever it is IN YOU that keeps this game going. my best guess is start with SELF LOVE, not the ego kind but knowing you are worthy of good because God made you in His image so you are His child and very deserving. God bless. @@TypeOneg
Wish I'd known this way earlier. Now I realise how much of my life was navigated by one of my parents. From little things to big decisions, whenever I talked about my plans, they poked holes in them and made me doubt myself. Only recently have I stopped telling them about any plans I make or decisions I take.
It is sad that parents can hurt like that. They are supposed to be on our side. My mother was a narcissist, she always said that I am a bad person, she always compered me to others, she always discouraged me,
Its only recently that I came to find out that I was raised by a narcissistic mother. Very controlling, I have to get her permission first to do certain things even at age 54. I can never do anything right 😢
I used to share my business plans with my mother hoping she'll be supportive or at least be happy about it... Bt she left no stone unturned sabotaging my plan, creating hurdles, demotivating me in the process.. She even went out of her way to create misunderstandings between me and my partner so that he would not want to work with me. Zipping my mouth since, helped a lot.
Hi baby girl. I hope you pray and take baths. That's a typical witch behavior. You probably were designed for greatness, and she can see it. Take care.
Really great advice. I wish I'd known this decades ago because my life has been forever changed by Narcissistic family members. Not too late to deal with future Narcissists though
My God, this is my husband. Gaslighting all the time. Recently we moved house. I said I loved the trees. He cut them all down, to make way for a patio drive way. That's 1 example in 1 million. Absolutely silence and then distance. Great advice.x
My covert narc neighbour even started attending the yoga class I had been going to go 6 months. She recruited a flying monkey to attack me and left me with no alternative but to stop going to the class. She is totally obsessed with trying to destroy my life. Unless you experience their tactics first hand you just wouldn't believe how vindictive they are. Pure evil.
Sarah, I know it’s not easy but act like you don’t see or hear her antics. Just find another yoga class, bc they really want a reaction so they can point the finger at you.Their behavior comes from a place of insecurity and jealousy
So true! Keep your weaknesses for yourself. They will utilise everything against you and tell others about your failures. Keep also your plans and ideas for yourself! They will steal them and tell others it was their ideas 😮
Long story short.......if you can check even 1 of these boxes about your partner, its time to go!! Because every single one of these traits are hideous! And even 1 means that you deserve better!
Thank you for this advice! So much if the internet advice amounts to “just leave”, but it’s not that simple, especially when you have health problems like I’ve struggled with.
Nowadays everything in internet. My narc digging everything in internet. Search and talk to people who were in photo with me. Destroyed relationship me with friends and everyone. Ruined everything i enjoyed. This guy really make me feel strong to deal with my narc
Married to one for 16 years with children. It's so uncanny, I finally figured out exactly these five tactics all on my own naturally. I'm only learning of covert narcissism and these defense tactics AFTER figuring out how to deal with it. I'm in awe and dumbstruck that this thing actually has a name and is well-studied.
For number one who wants to be with a Narcissist in the first place.They are controlling needy self entitled boring as heck and I have to hold back my feelings because of them. Can’t be myself? They need to go and sit somewhere until they learn they are nobodies or nothing special.Thank you coach for your daily encouragement! Appreciate you 🙏💜
I recommend noise cancelling headphones because they will continue to keep at you and escalating until they are so under your skin it becomes impossible to keep your mouth shut.
Just yesterday, my covert narc mother asked me if I’m always going to say I’m ok, even if I’m not. My reply was “yup, what’s going to change?” and then I changed the subject. My niece told her that I won’t tell her what is going on w/me. I’ve been doing this 4 1/2 yrs and she didn’t notice or care to pursue it. She obviously didn’t care to pursue it yesterday. She only wanted to be a victim b/c she believed I was going to say why I won’t tell her anything. Instead, I agreed and moved on🤣🤣🤣 She didn’t expect that😂😂😂
Excellent advice! I've been using these tactics successfully against my narc parents for almost a year now. Instead of feeding off of me, they now feed off of themselves.
Unfortunately since I'm experiencing financial narcissistic abuse as well, I do give in to alot of the demands, but make no mistake, I'm fully aware of what's going on and am working towards breaking free.
I purchased 2 small plants w/narc husband's permission. I told narc how the plants were doing so well & how much I loved them. The next day, he cut them down to their roots. I got so angry & asked him why he did this? He said nothing and smiled. I never saw him look so happy. I was confused & couldn't understand why he did this. The very next day, he cut the plants' tiny, few leaves of what was left even further until there was nothing left. I could see his eyes got wide as he started to laugh. He got pleasure out of hurting me. That's when I started googling husband thinks it's funny & came upon your channel. Thank you for all your great videos on narcissists. I now know not to react and zip mouth. What a horrible way to live if you can't get out.
How about NOT DEAL WITH THEM!!! We can soulfully feel when someone isn't fit for our lives let's aim to no longer be denial about the truth. When you firstly, get a glimpse and peep the person isn't right LEAVE.
We didn’t know about narcissism before but we (me and mom) would pray for our situation and those are the same things we felt God was telling us to do.
In the beginning I couldn't understand her behaviour which I had never ever seen before. I was made to feel so bad and useless about myself that I started hating myself for being me..I was filled with guilt. After a point I started noticing the patterns of her behaviour, twisting the facts and manipulations and finally after struggling for 25 years I could convince myself that there was nothing wrong with me... I started staying away from her as much as possible and reduced my interactions to minimal. However I was punished and smeared for the same by maligning my reputation in the family..and she became the victim..! It's a no win situation in the end..
You’re absolutely correct on that!!!! They use everything against you. I just happened to be watching TicTok and it was live. I heard my ex at McDonalds drive thru. They were laughing about how I couldn’t get my stuff up! It hurt, it almost broke me. I’m STILL breathing, that’s right I’m still living, even though he degraded me to the point of being so horrible. I’ve survived his grasping hand. I’m not brokenhearted about that anymore. Knowing him, knowing his new lover is going to be a big victim and a blessing for me. ❤❤❤❤❤
#6 when having to converse with your covert narcissist (NPD) mother, do deep breathing exercises throughout the conversation. Breathe a sigh of relief after hanging up.
At last!!! I can manage not to rise to the bait. I leave him to simmer in his persistent anger instead. Taken ages for me to master, but I feel so much healthier now I don’t take his twaddle seriously.
Varahi kavacham ( you can download from internet as pdf)is a Matra which you can read pure heartedly praying to a goddess . What happens: either he will understand always there is some sort of a problem for him if he ruins your happiness... Or if he still continues to disturb you in same manner then he will be taken little far from your niche...like a transfer to a different place for example. Believe me dear do it more number of times in a day if you face issues from him constantly. You will also see other enemies who try to degrade or work against you will also gets same effect and minimises other excessive emotions in you say if you are too sensitive or too emotional everything normalises. TRUST ME AND TRY YOU WON'T REGRET Dear friend.
Yes, I am finding out, only in last few months, that everything that He is sharing is true, and you can't share yourself with a narcissistic. I was sad at first because he is my husband and we've only been married 4 1/2 years but now , I can clearly see what's going on ! It's been horrible, but I've been trying to do more research in the last year! I hope and Pray that I can get free from this soon! 🙏 ❤
I just foundout one of the things that makes me happy is barbershopping. Any barbershopping event ( meaning singing) she never felt comfortable around the guys or wanted to be part of the pack. However anytime I would go without her, I had so much more fun. Plus then alot more singing and getting connected with people that I enjoy being around
My goodness you are something else. “Five Ways To Smartly Deal With A Covert Narcissist When You Can’t Leave!”Thank you for this!Absolutely brilliant!What wonderful advice to give to the person that’s not 30 anymore, married 33 years, soooo much invested…. it’s not always so easy to walk away.It’s not “fun” this way it’s like your separated living in the same household. I’m grateful in one sense 3 of our adult children are still at home with us which is a buffer for me. When they begin to move out (one of them are going to have to take me with them ,bc I don’t want to be here alone with their father.)He can have everything we built together, I would just want to go- it would be to awkward here just him and I.Thank God we never had physical problems( safety) but,the poor communication, attention,affection,harmony part…not great.Again another awesome helpful video. God bless and keep you!Please continue helping people. Many of us were not familiar with NPD( I just tuned into this 3 months ago and it has been helping me tremendously)he does not want to go to a counselor-says he doesn’t need it. So, I find your channel helpful for me. I share many if your videos with my kids(adults)
I’m in the same predicament as you. Do you still sleep in the same bed?? I’ve thought of making my office into my own room to make it less awkward but I’m sure it will make him mad. Hugs it’s not easy and it’s honestly a sad reality but I’m grateful for my kids.
Everytime I see one of ur videos, I feel stronger, safer, better prepared, and ready to face life again. Danish, your work is so vital for so many people. I'm so glad you are always here for us. You have turned the most difficult situation in ur life, into information gold, and valuable virtual support. Thanks so much. Keep doing this great work!! ❤
They RUIN the things that YOU ENJOY! FACTS. I IMMEDIATELY noticed a new narc try this on my first crab leg night with my family. The narc kept calling and trying to be combative or debate silly things on the phone while I'm cooking until I said I think I should hang up now and the narc stopped that day.I told narc how much I love crab leg night! Soon the narc took over crab leg night changing it to DATE night For just us and not my FAMILY. ..For 5 months in a row EVERY crab leg night was ruined either by them complaining, ruining the seafood, forgetting ingredients, being in a bad mood. All on a full moon too oddly. First I stopped telling narc about it and did crab night without them then dumped him for other narc related reasons. The narc only paid for crabs once on the first time to change it to DATE night and ruined the entire batch of crabs that time. After that all the loss was mine. He is right. I prefer to tell a narc now and see IF they try to ruin it and ditch them ASAP. Learn to accept these are NOT coincidences😮
This is what I am taking on board I am not allowing my narcissistic family to control, manipulate, guilt trip or gas light me anymorw. They can all go. I am done with people like tbis. I am not doing anything that they try to pressirise me into doing.
This man gives the best advice about dealing with a Narc or protecting yourself from getting involved with a Narc. My son died just before the narc dropped me like a hotcake. I was grieving and he just added to that. There is definitely something very wrong with Narcs. They are not wired right. Dating sites are very bad as far as trying to meet decent men. They are loaded with predators who have no human emotions left. The old fashioned ways are the best and many psychologists agree with how damaging these sites are. They make a lot of money, that's why they haven't been banned.
My narc bf told me to bring my son to the hotel where he stays just because I enjoy cooking for myself and son.Immediately after I told him that I'm going to spend some time with my son he easily get jealous and said that I should bring my son in his hotel room so that I dont have to cook for my son.He is such an evil.
Old short I was dealing with a Narcissist person today I had to hang up on them and never bothered me again I tried not talking but they kept forcing me to when I was not comfortable to talk so this explained this whole thing I witnessed clearly thank you random good person on the Internet
❤ EXCELLENT advice that's STRAIGHT to the POINT! After abuse, we have poor memories, so it GREAT to listen to your short videos that play over & over, until it is etched permanently into our confused minds. I'm sharing this video with my kids! 😅
‘They ruin the things you enjoy’. So true. Every beautiful or productive plant and tree I valued in the garden, he has systematically destroyed. I made the mistake of telling him I enjoyed the herbs, greengages, blackberries and other fruits. So puzzling, I don’t get it. 😵💫
I’m so thankful to you and all the others that are making videos about this. I really need this in my life right now. Thank you. Things I already learned on my own before RU-vid was really popular. But things I need to hear again because for some reason I think “maybe the narcissist can change” I’m pretty good at deflect this narcissist but this time almost got me. Thank you again I need to hear this. Day three of redoing everything from I learned the first time on my own these videos are just a helpful reminder I’m doing everything correctly so thanks again.
It's almost easy not to tell them anything cause it's not like they ask how your day was or give you a chance to speak since all they are doing is talking about their day non stop.
Just had a fight with my narcissistic mother. Sometimes no matter how hard you try to keep your emotions to yourself, they deliberately poke and goad you to illicit a response. Thankfully, thanks to videos like this, I'm more aware of the different tactics they use. I just keep spitting facts and refuse to back down. I'm at a point where I don't give a damn if we end up in a shouting match and all the neighbors can hear. I actually gave her an ultimatum. I'm going to sell all our properties. Give half of the money to her cause that's all she ever cared about anyway. Then I'm going to take my share and go No Contact for good.
Omg all those points are so in target. I’m working on cutting ties with a Covert Narcissist,her so subtle undermining antics impacting relationships with my kids, career. I have been quite open with red flags to others because I wouldn’t wish these people on anyone, it’s beyond hateful. Coverts truly come from a place of insecurity and are very jealous of others that have attributes or things they want to possess.Bittersweet but reinforces your on the right path. ❤
Very Accurate 👌. I did all this with him because i never knew he was a narcissist. But as soon as i knew, everything ceased. I am the most happiest person right now because I've finally left him and his house. Glad I'm not having my baby in his house. My Number one wish have successfully come through. Thanks for all your prayers. Please continue to pray for me for a smooth delivery of my baby. Amen 🙏
Just checked to see if you had a video on how to break up with narcissistic old "friends". This is helpful since they're covert and use guilt a lot. Thanks for your content!
