Comment below and let us know in situations make you shy (if you do get shy)? Just note this is just a general awareness around this topic, which may not be applicable to everyone. We also made another video on the signs of an avoidant attachment style. Watch this next: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-nqlce10FyVU.html
I feel like I'm not capable of genuinely loveing and being nice to other people and that everything I do is just for praise or something I hate feeling like this
Yeah... I get the feeling that I come off as a very cold person even as you get to know me. It's just a lot of people I talk to seem to just want to hear what they want to hear and disregard anything else. I'm not really sure how to talk to people in a way everyone in the conversation gets something out of it.
almost painful to watch, everything was 100% how i feel. I only talk to 3-4 people on the regular (my boyfriend, my sister, my daughter and sometimes my mom) i don't have irl friends. It affects every aspect of my life, i have to muster up the courage for HOURS (sometimes even days) to even ask my coworkers for the simplest things, and therefore i end up doing poorly at my job. I don't have any hobbies and i've been stuck in this job i don't like for the past 6 years because the thought of looking for a new job or having to learn a new set of skills and failing at it terrifies me. My mom calls me once every two weeks always asking if i'm angry at her because i don't reach out, truth is i'm also scared of talking to her. I just wished i could live a normal life, i'd love to have friends, i'd love to surprise-visit my mom sometimes, i'd love to go out and do things, i'd love to be able to find a job i like, i want my daughter to see me as a role model of someone healthy and happy, i'm so tired to live trapped inside my own mind
I can relate to this a lot. I just recently started a new job after being stuck at my old one for 2 years. It was so hard for me mentally, and I had the worst anxiety for the first 4 weeks or so. Taking the first steps towards finding a new job was hard for me to do, because I didn’t want to have to face the interviews and starting something new, not knowing what to do, and being around people that I don’t know, but I’m honestly so glad I’m not where I use to be anymore. I’m lucky to have a mom that understands me and is there to help me with these things. She is my support system and I don’t know what I would do without her. But, yes, I get scared to talk to everyone in my life- even her. I’m scared that one day, once i’m moved out and don’t see her everyday anymore, I’ll stop talking to her, too.
@@tayelisa3669 congrats on finding a new job! Living like this isn't easy but we must try to see the glass half-full; you were able to find a job and get past the anxiety of the first weeks,that is a great accomplishment. Glad that you have people supporting you, I also don't know what I would do without the support of my family.
@@SinisterScoundrel6562 i understand that some therapists that you've worked with have been pretty much useless but trust me theyre not all the same. there us cure, love. for example, it was Jesus for me. He got me out of a very dark phase
It’s hard to make friends when they either put in no effort or just use you to fill their social ego. I get called weird for being alone, but I don’t see any of my “friends” I’ve attempted to talk with hanging out with me or inviting me anywhere. I just haven’t found my tribe, and don’t feel as if need one to validate who I am. I avoid people, parties, and other social gatherings because it overwhelms me and some don’t realize I have personal boundaries that shouldn’t be crossed. It’s better to be alone to avoid the feeling of hurt, and value those who stayed around you 🤷🏽♀️
I know how you feel. 🥺 What’s fucking depressing to me is that I’ve lost two “best” friends in a month after my b-day. They ghosted me and left without a word. This experience has left me jaded and cynical about being open to anyone. The only friends I have are nonexistent ones in my subconscious. That’s not too depressing is it? 🥲
For 2, I would 100% avoid coworkers if I saw them while I was out🤣 I don’t have Avoidant Personality Disorder, I just don’t want to see coworkers outside of work. Lol
@@CrisOnTheInternet Same! I treat my family, friends & co workers as if they all exist in different worlds 😂 Gives me anxiety when the worlds collide. I don’t know who to be
"Dear you, you've forgotten yourself. You give everyone love but neglect the void you have in your heart. Focus on that. Heal first, then give." Malanda
@@R4GNAR0G Which is big cap. It doesn’t make sense to demand a drained individual to serve others. It’s like asking a dead phone to work without charging it first.
"Please reach out to a mental health professional" You should do a vid about that. The shopping around required plus the price barrier makes this not so easy a task.
I've just kinda just given up on people in general. My closest friendships feel one sided and are only genuine on my part. I would just rather be alone at this point.
You won't always feel this way. I think people can be focused on just themselves sometimes instead of others but we all do that since we're living our own lives so its not such a bad thing I think.
For me, I feel it’s much better to avoid. I’ve had enough of being criticized and looked down upon by family and peers growing up. I know I’m dumb and incompetent. I don’t want more people telling me.
Nobody’s dumb and incompetent bro, that’s an ego thing, nobody knows everything you might just not know as much as others, be honest with yourself and give yourself the chance to grow.
I’ve also had enough of people telling this as well. I’m not saying I’m dumb and incompetent in a self deprecating way, I’m saying it because it’s true. I have grown a lot. I’m very self aware self, and that’s how I know I’m a person who slow to get things, bad at school and people have made fun of me for it my whole life. I like getting constructive criticism, but it’s hardly ever been constructive from people in my experience. Teachers and tutors were a nightmare, My first job I was let go because I wasn’t good enough at it, I quit a job a couple months ago cause the manager and some servers were barely patient with teaching me things. My moms friend nicknamed me ‘Dory’ when I was a kid and my dad said he didn’t think I could make it into a school I wanted to get into. My mother said to me this same thing when she was showing me how to drive. I don’t think I’m completely dumb but it’s frustrating when people think this when it’s actually the complete opposite.
Same, I usually avoid a lot of people because every single time that I open up my insecurities to them I feel like I'm just being an attention seeking person. I'm also worried a lot of times that I may come off as a narcissistic since I usually can't handle criticism. I don't really know how to handle my problems sometimes and the only right way I know is to avoid it.
I think I can help people distinguish between Avpd and more typical introverted behavior. It doesn't have to be this extreme, but in my case it's not just avoiding coworkers in public, I can't hold down a job period because the slightest criticism just sends me into a major depressive suicidal episode. There is a complete lack of esteem and inability to keep yourself centered or build yourself back up.
Exactly. Every one feels at least a couple of these at some point in their lives. In order to be a clinical diagnosis, it’s about the intensity of the symptoms, more than one of these symptoms, AND the symptoms are pervasive across all aspects of a persons life.
I used to have lots of friends in highschool, but then I got bullied online and irl, and my self esteem went down, I had depression and anxiety, still do but it’s not as bad now. Now in college, I isolate myself and only focus on my studies instead of trying to make friends, because I don’t wanna be rejected and I don’t wanna be betrayed in the future
I feel you. I never had issues making friends when I was younger. Just went up to people and said "Hey, you're cool, do you wanna be my friend?" and that was it. Later I got bullied and school and from then on, everything just went downhill. Lost most of my friends, my self esteem just didnt exist anymore and trying to make friends became difficult and exhausting. I now only have two friends, both not really close. One I barely see and one I am starting to get a little closer to. I wish it would be easier but it just isnt. I constantly feel, like I have to act like someone else for people to accept me. And I am also sorry that you and so many other people have to feel the way I do. No one should have to deal with this, but sadly, its not that easy.
@@Shyress I completely agree, in order to have close connections, you gotta put in a ton of work, and I don’t have time for that when I literally have to put in a ton of work for my classes lmao
It's funny how Ive been the most shy introvert in the world but somehow always ended up the most popular with a ton of friends only to find out none of them were friends. I like being away from foolishness that comes in the form of people lol
It sucks that whenever I see any of these videos talking about AvPD, depression, anxiety or similar topics, I always feel identified with everything... everytime. In this case, every single point is exactly how I am... it's part of the reason why I've lived in isolation my whole life with no friends at all, not even online ones. Maybe my life might become "better" in some way if I was able to fix these problems I have, but I've grown so used to them that I can't see myself being different... not to mention that searching for a decent mental health proffesional can get so damn expensive due to how many suck at their job, that I'd need to be a millionaire before I can actually find the right person.
Same here. If you're like me, you'll never see this because the anxiety is so intense that the idea of reading a reply causes instant panic. Hopefully that's not the case. At least we gained another name to throw in the list of diagnoses. For me, this one will go at the head of the list. It's the most painful and severe of all of them. Being "forever alone" is worse than death. If only I had the courage to end this torment.
@@JB52520 now sure if i relate to what you guys said. but when i write comments on whatever topics utube vids are about i will check out replies if there are any. vivd example. last night when i was about to sleep i found i lost my student id card and i became panicking and somewhat depressed that i couldn't keep my own stuff. i then wrote some comments on one vid this channel made not far ago. basically writing about what i really thought after watching. and just less than 1 hour ago i saw one guy replied to that comment. that was sth discouraging and i just deleted my comment so i won't see his either. sadly i am now convinced that i have this avpd thing. sigh,
@@JB52520 Agreed. Although I know that this is a "public social environment", I still treat it as if it is a place to share a monologue with my perspective on things, and then run away hoping that I may have brought insights to someone and dreading if anyone would actually want to engage in further discussion; no matter how much doing so would likely benefit my own mental health. Heck, my username here was only ever meant to be a placeholder after they split Gmail from RU-vid accounts. I had no plans to have this side of me ever seen in 'reality'. As far as the diagnosis goes, for me, I'd say it is likely a co-morbidity to some other conditions of mine; most likely in that the symptoms themselves overlap rather than this specifically applying to me despite how much everything lines up. Having been 15 years since I've had true friends, and limited mingling with coworkers over that time, it is hard to suddenly stop and trust people with my vulnerabilities in a time of division. Doesn't help matters when a part of your last circle of friends went on to become now infamous criminals... But that's just my take. I am sure that there's a ton of people out there with more or less severe traumas associated with their avoidances that are equally valid in their hesitation. Here's hoping we can all find a place in the world that can slow down enough for us to comfortably reach up and fit in.
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I always thought I just struggled with social anxiety, but I fit every symptom of AVPD to a tee. I always felt like there was more to my struggles than just social anxiety and it’s nice to have a better understanding of my mental health. I’m so glad I discovered this.
I always thought that I was just an introvert. It's much deeper than that. I agree with you that it's not just social anxiety. It's much more complexed and more common than I thought.
I have this personality disorder and I'm fighting it on a regular basis.. The fear of rejection is really scary..i don’t talk to people that much,getting to know new people is a tough job for me..i had loved someone and after he had rejected me,i haven’t been able to like anyone else..the fear is so overpowering, it makes me feel that i will get rejected again for sure and that's why i don’t even try new things..depression is killing me inside.. Having Low self esteem is the worst..it makes me wonder why i was born in the first place..
Part of me loves the thought of sharing my live with a lovely girl...but at the same time I'm also perfectly comfortable not speaking to a living being for days.
You can’t get rejected if you’re not close to anyone and always except being either ignored or laughed at I’m very social on a surface level, even though it’s extremely hard to notice 😂 Criticism stays with me for… forever 🤨 I want to please everyone, but I know I can’t so I know I’ll always be a failure 🙃 Just like perfectionism. It’ll never be perfect, so it’ll never be good enough 😑
On the perfectionism point, I agree it is hard to accept not being perfect. I still want to help everyone, and not leave people behind due to arbitrary things like "annual budgets". Just got into civil service myself, and the idea of telling people no to their face in regards to support programs just makes my gut wretch. It is painfully hard, but I've been told to take solace in the gratitude of those I can help. Might not be working for me just yet, but maybe thinking of perfectionism in that light might make you appreciate what can be done without being perfect? Good luck.
While our minds know social rejection won’t kill us in the modern day, our brain tends to think otherwise. Failure is a symptom of having normal fallback plans for rejection. Because when you can’t rely on deep social connections, you search inward. “Maybe I’m not good enough for them, but I’m good on my own.”
@@ChaosCorpse4tube I’m talking about perfectionism where being the best at a subject in school and feeling ashamed when the teacher praised me since I didn’t feel like I deserved it. I wasn’t wasn’t good enough to deserve it since my results weren’t 100% just very close to it. It’s a rather complex psychological issue that can have many causes, as well as cause severe issues for people, like how I eventually became anorexic since I should probably loose weight and then you just become fixated on that. Always something, and always a feeling of never being good enough as a person to deserve anything, overworking yourself so that you can make things perfect but since it’s impossible you’re doomed to fail from the start. It takes a lot of work to even try to change this kind of behaviour when a single spelling error in an entire essay ruined EVERYTHING, despite having found out that I’m severely dyslexic at sixteen. Why that long if it was so severe and obvious when getting diagnosed? The perfectionism. It was extremely hard to learn to read and write but I still did it, on my own, spending hours upon hours trying to make sense of these nonsensical scribbles that seemed so obvious to everyone else, I must be so STUPID because this feels impossible but I kept practicing, determined to not be a failure. Only to be continuously called lazy by teachers due to my poor spelling “for someone that reads as much as you do” over the following nine years further confirming that yes I’ll indeed never be good enough This is why psychologists and psychiatrists say that perfectionism isn’t a positive trait, it’s something that more often than not hinders people from achieving what they want in life due to “knowing” deep inside that they’re not good enough, because they’d have to be perfect and that’s impossible. It’s not always extreme, but it definitely can become in combination with other things, and you have to learn to compromise to even get things done. At some point exhaustion hits like a brick and it’ll just have to do, despite not being perfect and thus, rubbish, shouldn’t even be shown to others they’re going to hate it I have a whole bag of issues, perfectionism just happens to be one of them, but trauma specialist therapist is on my case now
Aaaaand here we have Psych2go hitting the nail on the head once again... Why do I always relate to most of your videos?? Why you do this to me?? D: I feel so called out that it physically hurts D:
And that honestly makes it even more likely I have it, because I USED to be a more open person, and just generally more social, then just got a bit more and more shy, and then had to stay at home for over a year and now I 100% fit all (or almost all) of these signs. I'm not trying to self diagnose, and, well, you can probably guess based on how many of these fit me that I'm honestly too nervous to talk about this with anyone, even if I really want to.
Me too i was bullied badly in my school life ,always being interupted during talks,had fake friend who used my innocence,this had lead to me where whenever i talk i cannot talk with any emotion
I've been diagnosed with avpd this year and I can relate with every point. For me it's been really frustrating because i long for interpersonal contact with friends, family, etc... But most of the time I self-sabotaged all kind of interactions with people. Like Ive been thinking all my life I was introverted and socially anxious but its the lack of social interactions what makes me feel worse a lot of the time.
I always felt something was wrong with me. I can never connect with people and always feel far away from people around me like I want to be close to people but I just can't connect or get close to them I just constantly feel like I'm doing something wrong and I feel like people don't like me so I just disappear at the slightest sign of rejection. I think this is exactly what it is. Thank you I've never heard of this but now hopefully I can get diagnosed and get better.
i used to be so cheery and social as a kid but during ages 10-13 i suddenly became very quiet and anxious. luckily i made a good amount of friends who i felt comfortable around !! unfortunately at the time of writing this the majority of them have moved away and my relationship with those that stayed is slowly deteriorating and i get the feeling they don’t want to be my friend simply because our interests are so different now. im finding it really hard to make new friends. i could watch someone for days or weeks but not once ever get the courage to talk to them (im not a stalker, i don’t follow them home or take pictures of them, mostly i just take note of their interests for maybe a minute or two then move on with my day). im so awkward with everyone in my classes that sometimes i don’t want to go to school at all. i really have only like 2 real friends. yeah, i know, it’s pathetic. i have low self esteem, i think i always have, but it’s even worse nowadays bc my sister is in the same school as me and she’s so social and popular and has a ton of friends and she never has to worry about being alone like i do. i wish i could talk to people i want to talk to people i just can’t. so sorry for this huge paragraph :(
@@xdrazormon454 i’m really sorry you experienced this, and this may seem ironic coming from a person who wrote a whole paragraph about my issues with myself, but you’re worth so much and no other human can decide that except yourself. it really does get better even if it may seem it doesn’t, sometimes it takes a month and sometimes it takes 3 years. i still struggle with my mental health a lot but now i’m trying to be a lot more confident, even if i’m faking it. but it really does help to fake confindence, so while you may not be confident for real right now eventually you will start feeling more confident naturally. “fake it till you make it” haha. also, if you need someone to talk to, i’m always here:) if no one else in your life got you, know that this random internet stranger does! 🩷
Honestly I’m at the point where a lot of people in my life have treated me so poorly or stopped caring about me that I just don’t even take my chances with meeting new people. It often never goes well anyway but I keep my expectations low so I don’t get disappointed and just stick to the small circle of friends I have left. Keeps me humble and allows me to not get distracted in other areas of my life
You’re not alone man it breaks my heart. I’m an introvert I got tired of chatting with new acquaintances and it’s getting exhausting I just want them to become my friends I tried of this bull crap I don’t want to make new friends sometimes and I just prefer to make a small circle, like right now for example a female acquaintance admitted that she doesn’t like talking to me and it broke my heart plus it’s been months since I last talked to her and I miss her every day now she leaves my messages on delivered and she doesn’t even check on my social media stories anymore I still miss her and I honestly think the acquaintance became my crush even though she friend zoned me and now it’s been months since I talked to her
I've never been diagnosed with it, but all the signs sound exactly like me. The trouble with seeking professional help is that you have to be much richer than I am to afford any of it. The price tag alone for any sort of treatment, even without the added strain of opening up to a stranger, however good their abilities and intentions, would stress me out to extremes, so it would do more harm than good.
Haha it's me. I haven't hanged with anyone for the past two years lol. I actively avoid meeting new people until I feel I'm ready (which takes a long time). Also idk if anyone feels this but when I know someone I know is around the same place I am (like a store), I get ready paranoid like I feel like I'm being watched or followed & really uncomfortable with the possibility of meeting them so I always want to leave & get away. Sometimes when I do hang with people I get so uncomfortable I wish I was at home. & Even with someone nice I always think am I saying the right things? Am I walking weird? I usually follow their facial expressions just in case I'm not reacting how they would like. Part of it is due to being deaf in one ear so I'm afraid I will mishear things & another part is I'm scared I won't know what to say. It gives me so much anxiety, it usually ends up being not worth it. & Sometimes when I do find someone I like, they just end up not talking to me anymore. Which isn't exactly great for my self-esteem & makes me feel like it's not worth the effort at all
Meeting people takes so much out of me. Sometimes I feel like I'm so stiff & hyperaware of everything I'm doing, how I'm talking, the way my mouth moves, the way I'm standing or sitting, where my hands are, etc that I can't even enjoy what's going on. & Usually just end up being really anxious & uncomfortable. There's only been a few times when the first time meeting someone has been really nice & I've felt quite comfortable. Most times I'm so uncomfortable, it's almost painful. & I always feel so anxious like I'm in danger.
Despite its biological consequences sibling marriages still take place in certain parts of the world. Spread this video to stop it ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-v2wDriJxAxY.html
Thank you for making this video. Having AVPD is really a hell. You want to make friends, but also you are so scare of people rejection you and laugh at you, that at the end, you just avoid every social event. I also was so scare of answer the phone and being around when there were people in a discussion because i would get panic attacks.
I just don't know what it is that I do wrong... But for some reason I'm always the one who gets left out in friendships... In every part literally... I never had a bff before because in my opinion it is unfair to separate friends into bff's or just "friends", all my friends are my friends and I never made a difference between any of them, no matter if I knew some longer than others... But now I just start to question myself... of what is happening at the moment... I guess I'm just not supposed to have friends... Recently I was very happy to meet new people, a girl and a boy, I thought we could be a perfect trio... but after only ONE week, both of them were already chilling together at their homes and were watching movies together, or doing other fun things... (Never asking me if I would like to come over too... I guess they even kinda live together now... I'm not surprised by anything anymore, they even know each others families... The third wheel...like always...the one who noone tells anything of what happens, but you'll find out everything by yourself eventually... I'M TIRED and I don't know why I'm even trying to hold onto friendships, it's draining...
this also happened to me. Idk why but I feel like I am not as close as my 2 other online friends are, like they would talk about someone they know and I would be the third wheel and just be silent in the call...
I can relate to this so much. I always am the only one who tries to keep friendships going and the one who cares more and if I don‘t to anything no one would ever text me or anything. I always am the least favorite of everyone and always feel like no one likes me no matter what I do. I don‘t even have friends and sometimes it makes me really sad but I don‘t know what to do anymore because I don‘t seem to find anyone who cares as much about me as I care about them or someone who would just appreciate me the way I am. But just like you I‘m so so tired of everything and I don’t even want to try anymore because it probably won’t work. and I‘m SO SO sorry for the long text
Maybe your two friends are in love no...? That would explain why they want to spend time only the two of them. Anyway, I hope you find true friends very soon ❤️
Same for me, it's tiring. I'm sorry you have to feel that pain. Honestly, I wish someone could care just for once for myself instead of leaving me behind.
I know this is strange but avoiding people (actually, i see them as enemies) has helped me not only focusing on myself but also getting me out of depression
Wow i can fully relate to this. You basically described me in this video. Btw thank you so much for this channel i find your videos very useful and i also learn from them a lot about myself. I love the illustrations too they are so cute💙🦋🫂
This is just perfect timing. I’m currently making strides to speak to my crush and things like that and the fear of rejection and criticism is something that I have ALWAYS had and this is amplifying it.
I stopped having close relationships long time ago. Everyone that I was close with decided to hurt me in many ways, at this point I just don't want to know no one new, even through I feel a void and I wish someone would care for me for real. Now I only have 2 friends and both are distancing. I can't anymore, people make me feel mentally tired. It feels like I'll never be enough for everyone.
i am in the same boat, just like a quote from another Psych2Go video, "i rather be alone than abandoned" i am tired of having to deal with abandonment i no longer hope for something good to happen, just want the bad things to stop
I feel the exact same way. I don't want to get hurt anymore and I'm often misunderstood. So, what do I do? I put up these huge walls and don't let anyone in. I always feel like I'm flawed. (Not the right kind) My heart goes out to everyone who feel this way! So sad!
I feel like I'm never enough to satisfy my partners (or my parents, whom I no longer speak to). I am also sick of feeling this way. It hurts. And I never want to think or feel this way again. I'm sick of being hurt and betrayed.
i have the same feeling. i told about my feeling to my bf. and he said that he dont deserve my complain. and i dont want to tell aboit my feeling to him and i stopped tp tell my problems to anyone else. cause its not help at all. it seems no one cares to listen about my stupid problems too.
Every single point in this video really hit the nail on the head for me... I am 23 now, and trying my best to work on my self esteem and force myself to reach out to people more in the hopes it will get better bit by bit. I'm happy I'm not the only one going through this.
You’re not alone I suffered from this my entire life I’m trying rxposure therapy and i think it helpe me slowly to rewire my brain again and to build confidence and even i go to do rejection exposure to see that I didn’t die because of rejection
@@hasansarhan9296 I'm glad you're getting exposure therapy and I really hope it will help you out! I recently figured out this may also be connected to my autism, so I'm staying strong and trying to challenge and put myself out there more as well. 😊 I wish you the best!!
i got diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, anxious-avoiding personality disorder and dependent personality disordered, 2 years ago. since then i spent time in the psych ward, for 14 months („so long“ because of anorexia) and in therapy and no one explained me this as good as you guys do. thank you it helps me understanding myself better
I am diagnosided with AVPD (beyonds others) and relate to most of those. Some a little differently though. For example I can feel relatively comfortable with people as long as they don't know my "darkest secret" (mostly severe eating disorder). And completely loose it if I fear they may find or might have found out. I would be convinced that they have to hate, disdain, feel disgusted by me etc. when they know. I then can hardly face people which I really liked and socialised with before any more. On the other hand not telling them feels somehow like lying. And that they can only like me because they don't know. Anyway, I wanted to thank you for raising awareness of theat disorder. It can be really distressing, misunderstood (as sadly most mental health issues) and difficult to explain.
sadly, many things are vicious circles. IF you are a highly sensitive person like I am, rejection makes you feel humiliated. Makes you want to run away and hide to avoid the embarrassment and feelings of shame. It tears down your self esteem. Each episode of rejection reinforces that perception and makes you more fearful, until you stop taking chances all together. As the saying goes, most people live lives of quiet desperation. Some, more desperate than others. I've seen a few people say the secret of their success was having a mentor, someone to encourage them and help them grow. I had the opposite as a child / young adult. People mocking me, telling me I WASNT good enough. So yes, fear of rejection and humiliation terrifies me to the point of giving up. Which, has caused me to become angry and bitter. I used tobe a nice guy and helped people. But, now,I am apathetic, I DONT care anymore. People were unkind to me, so why should Ihelp someone who would NOT do the same for me? Who would take some sort of perverse enjoyment at my misery. I have a weird joke, I'm not racist, I hate everyone.
This is a very good comment. I like the quote "As the saying goes most live lives of quiet desperation" wow well said. I can relate a lot with you. The only way is to challenge ourself. I think getting to know another good person with avpd can make a good teamwork to challenge your limits. Read all you can about people that can manage living with AVPD and then try to experiment with the things you have read. I promise you it's not over there is still hope. You have to alter your brain completely and to do so you have to challenge your limits or get medication to change your brain chemistry. Or do both at the same time. Changing your brain chemistry is not only about medications. The brain is a spiritual object and the outer world can change thoughts and feelings just as medication can.
I dress and talk confidently but am usually shy to start conversation or take things to the next level. My shyness is not visibly obvious in a public environment
the first step i think is to accept that you are shy and introverted :) and a very important thing is that if you need your time than take your time - you have to learn to go home if you feel tired - i mean i am an introverted person and i always need my time to re-energize after meeting with someone when you do this i have learned that you have much more energy to talk and interact with people and you can give more - sometimes maybe you think that you might miss something if you go but before you realize that the meeting is dragging you down because you have no energy left you should go home and take your time and after that you will realize it is much easier to be around people ✨💫💕
Easy. Throw yourself into situations where you have to deal with people. Preferably in a healthy way, like for me I hate interacting with people. People are scary. And yet I work in retail where I have to interact with people every single day. Now how does this help with the confidence part? I have low self esteem and little to no confidence in just about anything I do, but because I enjoy camping and sell camping gear I feel very confident and comfortable talking about most things because I have a lot of experience. I hate the job… but at least I know what I’m doing. Put yourself in all sorts of social situations and level the field by controlling/choosing those situations and shift the topic to something that you have lots of experience with. That’s how I get by. If you don’t think you have a lot of experience in anything that’s probably a lie but even so just find something you can enjoy and gain that experience.
You need to be able to immerse yourself into something, whether its a skill based physical activity like skateboarding or playing piano, or even learning another language. It's hard for several years as you have to diligently put the work in to make something second nature before you can enjoy it and gain the benefits of confidence that come with it. This is the best advice I can give you as someone who's been there. Being introverted can actually be a strength in this case, you can channel your emotions into something that will always be there for you unlike another another person. There are many paths out, this was just the one for me.
I knew something is going on, its good to know it has a name. Thanks for the video. Basically everything makes me feel like I want to hide. I get blushed and red when people talk to me and them noticing that makes me feel more shy 😔😔😔 I thought I was a highly sensitive person, but this describes better when one decide to be away from people. Its good to know it can be improved.
Well I checked all those little boxes. Just had my third session with my therapist via zoom . Being able to do it this way has helped me tremendously , just not having to deal with going to an office and being in my own home in my P.Js . Just starting this journey of unraveling this mess I’ve become and watching videos like this channel is greatly appreciated . Thank you psych to go , you’ve helped more people than you will ever know .
@@YurenaRA same. Bullied because I showed potential in school, I'm from a low income area. I'm much more successful than my bullies but they continue to live in my head rent free
My family wasn't abusive at all. My parents were addicted to moving, however, and it made it impossible for me to form lasting friendships, as we moved an average of more than once per year, and didn't stay in the same place more than three years until I was in my teens. Also, while I got along great with most of my teachers, the other kids in some of the schools I went to were absolute hell spawn.
I never knew that this particular bundle of things had a name. Now I feel like this is the core of what bothers me and stresses me out about myself, and this is something tangible and concrete I can actually then take to a therapist. Thanks Psych2Go, this is one of those cases where being able to articulate exactly what the problem is is going to be the first step towards solving it I think.
I am afraid because I am in all of these cases. I am always afraid that my friends will reject me, and I force myself to behave exactly like everyone else so as not to be different. I always feel like people would have a better life without me, and I feel like I'm missing everything and being good for nothing. sorry for the misspellings, english is not my mother tongue
You just articulated something that I could never explain or expound. Living a life with this baggage is so messed up but peaceful somehow. I just recently offered a promotion which I declined due to small voices murmuring in my ear. Saying that I'm incapable, not worthy, and should stay where I am. I think that I would do the same thing just in case that I found someone I possibly fallen in love with. I might push him away or just ignore him. That's why I never had any boyfriend in my 25 years of existence. I dream of having one. But I also got an unexplainable satisfaction imagining how I would break my happiness. It's scary but it is how it is. Sorry for my grammar. English is not my first language. Thanks
I was diagnosed as AVPD.. It's very difficult to interact with others in a spontaneous way and also I 'm very afraid to fail so I prefer not to risk... I feel so different from the other students of my university (overall in Italy where people are extremely extroverted and loud 😂)fortunately I go to therapy and things are going better, I'm accepting myself and (most important thing) I'm learning to love myself... Unfortunately people like us weren't loved properly in their family so they don't take for granted to be accepted by society but we alway see ourselves under the judging eye of our criticism which impairs the expression of our personality 😢
I had AVPD in the past, and have been overcoming it with the help of a therapist. One of the hardest things for me was self-criticism, it got so intense at times.
DX with this and BPD by forensic psychologist. Recent personal events have brought out all the wonderful suffering of these disorders. Rejection, fear of rejection, humiliation, fear of humiliation, abandonment, fear of abandonment, emotional lability, feeling worthless and made to feel worthless by others - especially by a trusted medical professional...... Feel like a complete failure with no future. Feeling people should stay away because I just mess things up anyway. Recent compounded complex trauma made depression the worst I've ever experienced (which is really saying something, believe me). Had paranoid psychotic disorder ten years ago, and honestly always fighting to not lose my grip on reality, which is hard with the dissociation elements of these disorders. Self harm and dark thoughts are frequent. Daily internal battle, and a very very lonely one at that. I have given up on health professionals. Trust is shattered. I've had enough.
With each video psych2go posts I learn alot about my self and why I have been like this. It helps me know that my difficulties are not solely based on one thing but different causes which combined to make my mental health affected. I hope they put videos on how we can to try and solve some things on out own because I don't know how to ask for help.
I used to have a huge fear of rejection, I'm almost sure of that, don't ask me how it went away. I used to isolate myself at school, when others asked me out I'd say no, and I always felt left out. It felt very lonely. But didn't realize I left myself out. But I'm never really interested in others. I have never been, it's me and my little world.
I have had this disorder for around 8 years. I met an abusive teacher who thought calling my toxic father was a productive way to solve my problems cuz he would yell at me again and again (going to school late, being not able to complete the homework, sleeping at classes due to insomnia). Even though I was the one who gave her the reputation of “training an excellent student”, I was nearly figuring out everything on my own and didn’t seek help too often. Now I’m still suffering, I delete friends’ contacts randomly and have zero confidence in my job or relationships because I literally think I’m a big loser and nobody recognizes my strength.
Wow I identified with almost everything in this video. I try to pretend that I'm confident in front of others but on the inside I'm terrified. I try not to approach people I don't know, I just don't want to be a burden to others. I've never been in a relationship (I'm 23) because I'm afraid of being rejected and I just don't feel like I'm good enough for anyone. It's hard to get close to anyone because I feel like they don't care about me that much and maybe I'm wrong but idk.
I have 4 out of 6 symptoms listed in this video and yes it makes me difficult to take some challenges in my life. I'm so mad at myself because of this. It's kind of obstacles that prevent me from giving myself a better life due to my fear of trying something new and rejection 😔
The human heart is so fragile… we perceive the world through our hearts and it is our heart that defines our reality. This channel is great to inform but it kind of labels patterns and behaviors. Most people can use this as an excuse for what and who they are and the solution is not seeing a professional help. First it is expensive and second, it’s very hard to find an empathic person. This is a life’s journey and it is only up to you, me, us, to walk the path of self-knowledge :)
I have felt for a while that something was wrong with my brain, but I wasn't quite sure what it was. I was just always subtly afraid of growing closer to people other than the friends I already had. I just felt like I wasn't worth anyone's time. And then I got a girlfriend (sort of, its complicated), and that fear amplified a ton. I really had a feeling something was wrong, but I never talked about it or checked it out, because I was afraid of the possibilities. Then I saw this video, and I match up pretty well with all of those signs. Uh oh. I might want to get it checked out. Anyways, thanks for reading, have a good day.
While I would never self-diagnose, I do notice that I do all of these things. It can be exhausting. The one saving grace is that I've had several friends in life that are insanely extroverted yet still understanding, and during the times I've been around them, they wouldn't let me retreat into my shell and gently forced me to go out and live my life. I'll always be grateful for those people, as sometimes they know me better than I know myself.
This comment is what I'm going through, I'm constantly trapped in my mind. Relating to almost everything on this list and constantly feeling inferior to everyone I meet. If I didn't have friends from elementary school that I made before my parents got divorced I wouldn't have any friends at all. Those extroverted friends have made my life much easier when I see them on the weekend, but going to a different school i suffer every week, stuck in my mind, overthinking almost every social reaction ever. A girl last weekend wanted to hangout at a pizza place and I got intimidated and nervous and instantly over thought even though I've known her for months. I made up an excuse about how I was busy and had homework to catch up on. Instead I sat on my room for the night, rejecting the invite in fear, even though I wanted to see her so bad. I don't want to self diagnose but I relate to everything in this video and I'm so exhausted of being trapped in my mind. I need help.
I don't know about that where I identify with all of the things on this video is as you said a extroverted friend forced me to hang out with them I would unfriend them immediately and ghost them and never speak to them again I hate being forced to do anything even a gentle forcing. 😢
I don't know about that where I identify with everything in the video as you say if an extroverted friend gently forced me to do anything I would immediately unfriend them ghost them and never speak to them again as I react very badly to being forced to do anything even a gentle forcing
good for you, i have 0 friends. People make attempts to make friends with me but the problem with me is I unwillingly end my relationships with them bcuz I fear criticsm to an extreme extent so I withdraw from any social situation. I have been like this for like 6 years since I was 9 and as of now im 15 and still don't have any friends and i haven't improved much. And now im basically having some feelings of depression just cuz i haven't changed socially and academically. Well in terms of academics I was dong quite well way back elementary only problem with me was that im forgetful, i lack confidence (which is why I suck at leadership when it comes to group projects), and i was slightly lazy and disorganized. If only i wasn't lazy, forgetful and disorganized I would have with high honors instead of with honors only. Now as a highschool student im on academic decline just cause I can't concentrare (probably because of stress) and my lack of confidence became worse than it was when i was in elem. I want to seek some help from an expert but im scared that the expert might think im just being ridiculous
I don't even have any disorder or know anyone like that. But it's good to know nonetheless and the narrator's voice is so soothing, it's like balm for the mind to just listen. So relaxing!
I never really bond with people anymore since i lost my best friend (she didnt die or something she just stopped talking to me because she found new friends) and some points in this video are def relatable to me
That was really good and thank you for making this video ; but it was really short and so fast to understand you. I think it was better if you gave your audience more time to think about it and understand you. The animations are awesome and voice is really peaceful. Thanks for being criticizable and helping people.
I'd rather keep my AvPD head down and not participate in a world where the destroying of others is a game that gives its participants an enormous rush, thanks very much.
Thanks for the education. I have many disorders, and now I finally know the name of the worst of them. At this point, I'd do anything to fix my "forever alone" status, but it's too severe for hope. I can't even read replies to my comments. The loneliness is too painful to allow for any self esteem. Hopefully learning its name will reduce some of its destructive effects, and maybe someday free me from solitary confinement. Thanks again.
when every single point is exactly what i am :c... watching psych2go kinda help me identify myself more coz i relate to the points when they said it and i ddnt know that i am like that. Its like they gave me clarity of what i am doing exactly...
I never seen this. Im a risk taker and am not afraid of criticism. I run away from people, avoid relationships all together, I don't put myself in situations where someone can get over on me. Avoid it all together.
well yeah that sums up my life pretty much because of my ADHD and highly emotional personality I literally became it shut in. got depressed gained weight and suffered in silence for year. all of that plus crippling anxiety just gave me hypertension🙁
I have AvPD and I'm autistic (to name a few). Probably developed AvPD because my autism was late diagnosed. Autism is also regularly misdiagnosed as AvPD or other personality disorders. Being autistic and living in a neurotipical world is traumatic for a lot of us, so the personality disorders are not always a misdiagnosis. They can co-occure with autism.
I'm 56 and suffer from this mental cancer but I'm very proud of myself......I've never been unemployed, I'm not on any kind of drugs or medication, live on my own and don't depend on anyone. I'm so blessed, God has taken care of me ❤❤❤
This is too relatable for comfort. Every time I appear with a group of ppl, I have the sudden lack of desire to start any conversation. Even when I try to talk to ppl, I just get ignored often, which makes me feel like I'm annoying to them.
I only have two close friends and they message me frequently, want to hang out or plan ahead for future activities and I always try to act busy as much as possible but since I didn't have any excuses left and felt overwhelmed, I just ignored their messages this time. This already goes on for a MONTH because I don't know how to fix it and I'm not sure how to explain it to them. I feel like they are 100% disappointed in me but I can't overcome my fear of being told so :(
I've been speaking with my therapist about this and yeah it is hard to interact especially when I see a person I like. Working on it though and it's gotten better since I starting working through it with my therapist
