Point I. Stop depriving yourself of things that may bring good and start giving yourself permission to enjoy those things Point II. Stop repeating old patterns and start identifying what’s repeatedly causing negative emotion in your life Point III. Stop blaming others and start taking accountability Point IV. Stop being sloppy with your words and start realizing their power Point V. Stop projecting your past experiences on others and start realizing that not everyone has your needs Point VI. Stop excusing peoples behavior and start setting boundaries
"You can understand someone without accepting their behaviors. Those are two completely different things." This helps me so much. I am always trying to understand people even if they do something that irritates or hurts me, and I ask myself not to blame because I can understand why they do that. But it usually ends in hurting myself so much. Thank you Lana for reminding me that I can understand but in the meantime not accept their behaviors, where my own boundaries are built. ❤
9 days to 9 months of my granddad passing away suddenly. He was a person who used to never get pictures clicked. One day, he asked me to click a picture of him. I was like whatt and whyyy, how come suddenlyy?? He said, just do it. I did as he said & showed them to him. He was glad with the pictures and asked me, "where do pictures get printed? Is it possible for me to have a hardcopy of this?". I was stunned but answered his question. He went ahead and said, "okay get one printed and framed for me". I felt something is wrong but I didn't know what. There was an unsual sparkle in his eyes. Went back home, told my parents about it but they ignored. Eventually, I forgot about it. 10 days later, he passed away and we had to actually get the picture printed and framed and adorned (a Hindu tradition). It's like he clearly informed me beforehand that his time had come.
@@apricusenchant2825 wow. this just makes me cry. My mom wasn’t tech person at all and didn’t like making photos, so I brought from my home country a picture where I’m about 7 (I’m 25 now) and stick it to the fridge because she looks so happy there.
1. Stop depriving of things that may bring good and start giving yourself permission to enjoy those things 2. Stop repeating old patterns and start identifying what's repeatedly causing negative emotion in your life 3. Stop blaming others and start taking accountability 4. Stop being sloppy with your words and start realising their power 5. Stop projecting your past experiences on others and start realizing that not everyone has gone through what you have gone through 6. Stop excusing people's behaviour and start setting boundaries
I swear, I’ve never meet a person who makes videos just the right way for me. The things she talks about, how she words them, her advise and storytelling. All of it helps, yet I find it so hard to watch a video of hers every time she uploads. I think it’s one of those things where im just being lazy and a bit scared that the video will be boring or won’t relate with me and my life. The fear of her channel being something I can’t come to help or comfort or even encouragement for is scary. I know it sounds like my whole mood is depended on these videos, it isn’t but lana’s channel feels like something to look back at when times get hard. Like someone to sit, waiting for you, ready with a shoulder to cry on. I think it’s so beautiful what Lana has created with this channel… so I want to thank her and let her know that she makes a difference and has done an amazing job helping others. Thank you Lana, truly a beautiful individual you are.💙
The fifth one is on spot ! I used to overextend myself for the benefit of other people.. and yes ! I realized that it's not healthy even though I spend my whole life thinking that I'm helping them .....
So many life lessons in one video 💛 I am always repeating old patterns and habits because it was something I’ve always done. Getting past your comfort zone is the key to true growth and this video just reminded me of that 💛
Lana's pretending she was sitting at a cafe in a small town in Italy somewhere dance was all the joy that someone should need to wake up every morning.
oh my god the last point is literally the 1 thing that saved me and (among other things) got me over my ex and over just forgiving people when they don't even care about me
I like the more positive vibe on the words, Lana! I agree, words matter and leaning to more positive phrases is always best! Awesome tips! I really like the one about blaming others for where you are in life and to figure out that we are in control and have the responsibility of our own happiness! Awesome video as usual! Thanks!
You are so inspiring Lana, every single time when I'm down or feel crestfallen, you always brighten up my day by inspiring me to keep going, Thank you so much! Sending love ❤️👍🏻
Last point is something I've began to understand during the last few weeks. Your mental health does not need to be sacrificed in order to cure other people's problems, your needs should not be sacrificed. One love to all of y'all, may you keep your peace❤️
The fact alone that you changed the title to more properly accommodate the message that you wanted to deliver is amazing. I think that’s so true. We always see so much of the “stop doing this” and “this is what’s stopping you from” It’s always refreshing to see a more positive and solution oriented perspective.
There’s this saying, “It’s not your fault but it is your problem.” this really hit me so hard, thank you so much for this advices you're such an inspiration
I think setting boundaries is a huge thing. Many people want to be nice but at the same time struggle with this. It's also not easy not identitfy yourself with the old self but it takes time and healing process. I wish you all the best in life!
Your videos always help me relieve some stress, being miserable at work, and knowing im not happy but it is what keeps me financially okay in a third world country even tho it doesn't bring me joy. So im just lost atm. But your videos are always helpful.
6:25 THANK YOU for making me get to this conclusion, or, rather, to give me this insight. This whole minute I identified with every single word you said...
You make a great point about us being the parent to ourselves - we actually need to do this - except in a collateral way to which you mentioned. The Freud architecture of our mind was: Id, Ego, Superego. The id being our base/animal instincts and the super-ego being our conscience (which kind of critiques the self) - these two are basically incompatible and so the Ego being the middle-layer between the two has the job of accommodating & reconciling the existence of the two in the same head. This is another version of "squaring a circle" - a phenomenon of accommodating to polar opposite things. Any time you have a job of "squaring a circle" you are going to have a big complicated thing - and so the Ego is the big complicated thing between our ears and behind our eyes. A more tangible example of this the US Dept of Agriculture. We want lots of high quality food at cheep prices but we also want farmers to make a good living so that they will continue to farm and provide high quality food. So how do you "square that circle?" How do you get cheap food yet prosperous farmers. That's the job of the Dept. of Agriculture and consequently, it is one of the biggest bureaucracies in the U.S. government. So it is with the Ego: it has two "hemispheres"; an intellectual side and an emotive side - and these are similary opposite. The intellect can learn quickly, it can process and think quickly, it can learn from other people's experiences and it can even learn from reading a book - but it also forgets things quickly. The Emotive sphere is slow, sometimes brooding, can learn only slowly, can learn only from experience AND it NEVER FORGETS. (When people say they know where they were when 911 happened, it is because that is deposited in the emotive side of their mind. We like to think that decision making is mostly an intellectual activity, however, scientist have proven that the emotive side of the mind is where decision making is rooted (that's part of its key roles) and we often generally employ our intellect to justify our emotively contrived positions. That's why my father used to say: "never discuss religion, politics or the designated hitter rule (a baseball metaphore) in mixed company. These things are set in our emotive sphere and people don't readily, easily change those. ... or as Irving Kristol once said: "A democrat is a republican who has just been laid off from his job, and a republican is a democrat that has just been mugged" - what he is pointing out is the role of the emotive hemisphere, and how it learns/evolves only from experience. The most important point to walk away from this is an acknowledgement of the differences between the two spheres and to be conscious of this and to focus on how they might work together. The intellect wants to run and get things done; the emotive wants to walk and smell the flowers. So the intellect has to be the parent to the emotive self - patiently allowing the emotive self to come along at its own pace. The intellect can act as a parent to help facilitate the evolution of the emotive, protecting it from harm, but exposing it to new experiences and in time the emotive grows in faith and trust in the intellect, and the two come closer together and in that way the entirety of the whole person might evolve better, fast, and develop more fully over the length of one's life. I thought this was a very important paradigm to point out - otherwise I would not have spent the time writing here about that, but I hope someone gets something out of it.
A really good point made near the end of your video: just because somebody has suffered in the past does not give them the right to treat another person like garbage in the present. Be the one who breaks the cycle and treat others in a way that is fair and helpful.
I've been watching your videos since 2020. I've learned a lot. You are like a big sister to me. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. Loving from Philippines. ♥️
I lost my parents 17 months a part a few years ago. To anyone who has lost a parent and still feels very down about it. One day we will feel exactly what they are feeling… Peace. They wouldn’t want you to feel down and blue. The memories you have of them will always stay in your heart. Live life and become a better version of yourself in dedication of them.
Hi, thank your for your comment. I'm so sorry for your loss and happy to hear you are ok. Your comment touches me because my mom as a metastatic cancer, she is going to die in the next years for sure. It's really hard and you brought me comfort. Thank you !
I was listening to your podcast the other day while working. It felt so soothing and relaxing. Your voice was bringing the calm atmosphere and I was feeling really good to hear your thoughts. Godspeed to you!
I think that accepting someone and accepting to put yourself in harm's way are different things too. Meaning, I believe you can accept another, but also distance yourself because that's what's best for you
This was a great video and I can relate to some of the things listed here. Especially when it comes to “child” me projecting to what I thought “adult” me needs.
Idk what are the chances of you reading this but recently I've been struggling alot with self confidence. By reading the 5sec rule book, it helps me to boost my confidence day by day and this helps me be more confident by saying you look beautiful Lana.
Oh Lana I love your videos, and your honesty. These reminders are so important / helpful, thank you. And I did the same thing last year: I bought myself a good espresso machine, because I just enjoy that "celebration" of coffee love haha, not only does it taste soo good, but its so much fun using the machine and getting better and better at latte art 😊
Step 1 on my road to Sweden: I watched a few different walking tours of downtown Stockholm, and found where everything was on a map as I was watching... Now I already know my way around haha. But more importantly, I am starting to "feel" as though I am there. Or at least the seed has been planted. Note: I am sending you this update to help keep me accountable. Thank you for reading. Whether or not I ever actually see you doesn't really matter. It would be nice, but either way, this is about something that goes beyond that... perhaps my livelihood and even my life and existence depends on it. So... thank you. I'll keep you posted. PS: Sweden really is expensive. I can live in prime downtown locations in eastern europe for like $1000 CAD or less per month, but Stockholm is like $4000 for something not even right smack downtown... so... I've got my work cut out for me.
thank you Lana for always being the sunshine that reminds us of things we need to hear again and again💓 this was so simply beautiful and well-put, also love how the video was shot and edited :)
Oh I totally agree, her videos are wonderful! hey btw, i recently started my own channel where i talk about well-being, health and self growth, I’d love for you to check it out☺️
Good points you make, Lana. Recently I've been analyzing my behaviour and patterns more. For example: Why do I keep doing this if I don't like it? or Do I feel like doing this at this moment?... Another thing is I keep changing my mind about something over and over again. I am good at confusing myself. Do I even know what I want is a question that keeps coming up. Well, I keep learning about myself and others every day. Keep living life I guess. Good video as always, Lana.
Frozen Croissants are the bomb! Waaaay better than I ever thought. Like it's better than store bought because the Pastry cooks right that second so the Croissant is still warm and puffy it's amazing!🥐That and putting a square of Lindt Chocolate in your morning coffee. It's pretty much the best thing ever!☕
Ohh i really wanna have a croissant rn🤤 hey btw, i recently started my own channel where i talk about well-being, health and self growth, I’d love for you to check it out☺️
Riight 💕 hey btw, i recently started my own channel where i talk about well-being, health and self growth, I’d love for you to check it out, you might find sth helpful☺️
I'm a Japanese high school student. I study English hard so I regularly wathc your video. I can wathc everyday because you are very beautiful and what you speek is very clearly. Thank you.
