I just realized the way we sometimes expect people to read our minds because our parents didn’t attune to us appropriately, our parents expected US to read their minds and attune to them - probably due to their own traumas. Thank you so much for this video! I’m glad we all have a chance to break the cycle. 🙂
Yeah same for me. I'm 15 and my mature looking body ALONG with mature conduct gets people assuming I'm up to 6 years older. At this point I can barely socialize with girls my age... Because they are too immature.
@@calamitychaela1994 making friends at that age was difficult for me too I had too many responsibilities thanks to the way I grew up and many things to think even though I shouldn't be thinking about them at that age. Remember that you deserve to enjoy your teenage years ,be carefree, and make mistakes. Make a LOT of mistakes and never take them back, be true to your feelings and remember that one day you'll forgive that narcissistic parent because one day you'll realize that they too didn't know any better, and you'll walk away of that unfairness with your head held high and your heart clean. I wish you peace and light.
Saaame. But I definitely looked really young. I was very much trying my best to be like all my friends. But I was such an angry mopy,introverted, quite. girl and no one understood why. I was 8
Tbh I prefer talking to people older than me.. Im only 16 and my friends act pretty immature even tho they arent kids anymore. Id rather talk to my friends who are on their 20s cause we have a lot more in common. (Im not saying anybody should never act childish, just saying that it has to be to a point where it doesnt bother anyone)
I was always told that too, and people frequently complimented my mother (right in front of me) on my good and responsible behavior. They didn't know she was an alcoholic who left for the bar the minute I got home from school (or sooner) and didn't return until at least 2am, sometimes was still gone when I got up the next morning. My older brother lived there too, but he is severely intellectually disabled, cannot make his own meals, etc. I HAD TO BE responsible.
And then sometimes they actually do get angry at you because they say that you are so self-involved that you can't just let them be angry about what they're angry about. Ugh re-living the trauma in new relationships is so hard until you know what's happening and why.
I remember asking my Mom if she was mad at me all the time. Being the youngest of 6 kids, I was thirsty for some type of attention. Then if I got in a fight with my brother, I would get beat, so it's no wonder.
“We were greatly misunderstood growing up…our parents didn’t see us as children. Toxic parents usually see their kids as selfish adults who are making choices at their expense.” I had to pause at this part. Just take it in. Rewind and listen to it again and again. It hurts so much to acknowledge it but I’m so glad to have words for it now!
With the gradual using of dr Oyalo herbal recommendation for autism, whom I met on RU-vid, my son is totally free from Autism with his speech cleared and behavior ok as he can now respond to name, orders and act right. Thank you doc Oyalo for your help. I am Greatful 🙏
THIS !! My mom recently mentioned when I got my hair cut when I was a teen... She thought I was parading around, kept walking by her to "show off." I told her that I actually was very self-conscious/embarrassed of it, hated it and probably wanted to talk about it... this conversation 40 yrs l8tr. 😢
Same. I always thought of it as they see us as objects. Toys to fullfill a fantasy of a family until then we dont fit that narative anymore (due to being humans just like them with our own innate interests, perspectives, and methodolgy) and then its just conflict from then on out due to us never being 'perfect' again in their eyes.
This is so very true. I'm 63 now, but I can remember distinct times in my life when I was 4, 6, 8, 12, and 17 years old and I knew then and am still 100% certain today, that I was the only mature, intelligent person in the house and my parents and uncle were present at the time.
Yep. Careful of potential abuse of substances, food, alcohol, internet, drugs, sex, shopping, etc. etc . . .Many of us find ourselves in the rooms of recovery (from whatever ) and through the work we do getting out of addiction, discover we did not have a childhood. Edit. Clean and sober 32 years. Last time I spoke to the one who hurt me - 25 years !!!!! Please note, anyone worried that they are breaking G.d's command to honour mother and father, YOU RE NOT ! G.d knows your heart, the struggles you've been through and wants you happy healthy and whole. Also, I learned, we are never given more than we can handle.
“Our parents didn’t see us as children.” THIS. Whenever I made my mother mad she’d tell me, “You’re so selfish,” “You have such a dark heart I don’t know how you can stand it,” “No wonder you have no friends,” etc. I’m just now coming to realize I was never a bad person, I was a child. If only I had a mother who knew how to raise one.
Wow. My mother is the same. She still brings up things I’ve done and said as a child or teenager. As an adult, I’m disgusted that she would give low blows to a child. Her child. You don’t get into the ring with a child and throw blows like they are an adult.
"No wonder you have no friends"...I will never forget when my mom said that. I know she did the best she could and I've never mentioned it to her but I remember it whenever I see her.
@@maximwilson1482 You're more forgiving than I lol. I hate my family bc they are morally and dutifully responsible to me for everything, simply for making me, and they skip and have skipped as much as possible. All my suffering comes from them and their criminal unpreparedness
@@tobediscontinued1795 I hear you on that and used to think the same. But if you think about it how does that mindset help you to be the best that you can be? It most certainly damaged me...and I didn't start feeling better until I took responsibility for making my life better and no longer looking to the past to rationalize my issues. Everyday I have to force myself to be grateful for what I have and force myself to go outside and not isolate (which is soooooooo easy for me to do for days on end). To be honest I didn't forgive but came to realize that she did the best she could with the resources available to her at the time.
Wow. When you know deep down that your childhood deeply affects you everyday. But you think it's nothing because it didn't involve physical abuse or the extremes of neglect. The traditional types of physical abuse. Then you see that narcissistic parenting, unfairness, inconsistency, conditional love and many more can all be forms of emotional trauma that affect you to this day. All 6 points resonated with me.
Me too. It's as if a bright light bulb has been shown into dark corners. Resonates with immediate family, extended family, employers, even friends. Holy Wow.
I actually couldn’t believe this video. I felt so heard. I felt so out of place like well my trauma isn’t that bad so nothing to heal from but wow I’m fucked up
honestly I feel terrible when I start feeling horrible about my own childhood trauma when other people have gotten hit and it's like I don't deserve to be upset.
This is so on point! I am 55 and still can't say no, extremely bothered by other people's moods, irresponsibilities, just everything. Thank you. I have to listen to this one over and over
I also saw his recommendation and approach Dr Oyalo for the herbs on RU-vid. The herbs has so far work positive on my child’s eye contacts and speech improvement. My child social skill is good now and response to name has improved too
Just seeing the words “having someone mad at you/being misunderstood” takes my physical anxiety symptoms to a 10 immediately. My mind feels like it’s in a room full of smoke, my back is throbbing and my legs are restless. And I was fine 2 minutes ago. Wow. Unbelievable.
s a m e and like i feel like i know it but i feel like i never realised most of the times about this i like didn't attend a place for days just to not see that person
Parents saw me as a selfish adult - that's such an eye-opener! And explains a lot! I'm living with this understanding for just two days now and it is a game changer already. Now I understand that I was raised to be a parent for my parents since I was 4 years old. It's so unfair to do something like that to a child... It's so absurd that it hurts. Thank you so much for the content. It helps a lot❤
Same here - and it was probably earlier than 4 years old - that's just how far back our memories go... I felt like a puppet having to assuage my parents' wounds from as far back as I can remember. I do feel more compassion for them now, after understanding what they went through, but am still trying to unburden myself from that responsibility.
I knew my mom had trauma just by hearing stories about her childhood. It was so good seeing this video because I understand more why she is the way she is. I don’t believe that excuses her behavior, but it explains it. Thank you for this.
Oh god the being misunderstood segment hit me hard, I was so close to crying. I'd always known that being misunderstood or having my words twisted in bad faith was a "pet peeve" of mine, but... wow. Wow the way you described it.
I also saw his recommendation and approach Dr Oyalo for the herbs on RU-vid. The herbs has so far work positive on my child’s eye contacts and speech improvement. My child social skill is good now and response to name has improved too
“Some people struggle with x , INCLUDING MYSELF” I don’t know why that “including yourself” part feels very comforting. Not because I’m glad you are struggling with that but because I feel like you can actually understand us.
The fact he can relate to the rest of us is very comforting for me as well. It feels like he's in it with us rather than helping us from high up on a pedestal.
I did therapy with Patrick - he's very supportive and compassionate and he has been in therapy. It's also really reassuring knowing that it's possible to become a functional person even if parents mess us up in the beginning..
Whenever you describe the things the parents did, I realize that those were all the things my best friend did to me growing up. She was super abusive and I think it’s important to recognize that childhood trauma doesn’t always come from your parents.
I definitely have trauma from a friend who would put me down for being quiet and shy and weird but then when I started coming out of my shell a d making other friends it was always "you've changed" "you've turned into such a bitch". It really upset me.
@@rebeccaf2649 whenever I disagreed with my friend, over any small thing, she threw a huge fit and told everybody in our grade lies about why we were fighting so that nobody would talk to me until I apologized to her. She literally isolated me so that I was forced to cave. It fucking sucked.
You should read "Hold Onto Your Kids"... it talks about how the school system encourages peer-orientation and that in the absence of parental leadership, we look to our peers. It's fascinating and makes you rethink the whole idea of socialization in schools being so important.
Yeah I definitely have childhood trauma from my friends and at school not so much from my parents. Although I did wish they knew what was going on with me when I was younger.
Its ok to be sensitive, bu don't judge and make assumptions about people. Speak up if something bothers you, but be open and be open to dialog. For example, I am distracted and maybe forget to do things, but i don't do it on purpose. Sometimes i dissociate. My ex reacted as i was a rude selfish b***h. ....
@@Hollyhock7 right, I don't remember much of my childhood and I can't pinpoint any trauma, maybe I was always just a sensitive kid. My siblings don't seem to have picked it up and don't seem to deal with the same trauma I did.
This is tough. Because I never considered my childhood “traumatic,” at least the trauma was not inflicted on me by my parents. I grew up in a very small Christian community (church and Christian school) and my parents thought it was fine to send me to anyone’s house and were not paying close attention to who the adults in the house were. I felt incredibly uncomfortable around one of my friend’s dads, but my mom kept sending me over for play dates and wasn’t reading that her dad made me uncomfortable. When I stopped being friends with the girl, my mom made me feel bad about it. I wanted my mom to just figure it out or read my mind. Her oblivion sent me into a hysterical rage. I was always ANGRY at her and I couldn’t understand why at the time. Now, I catch myself getting upset with my husband when he can’t read my mind and anticipate my needs. It’s finally dawning on me that that’s a trauma response and I’m expecting him to reparent me. Wow. Thank you for this!!
This was spot on. It can also be hard to receive compliments because the narcs would be passive aggressive/rage or simply mope at you if you got a compliment from someone and they didn't. This can make receiving a compliment feel so unsafe. So much to learn and un-learn!
I agree. With my N mother, it felt very awkward/scary if I was inadvertently stealing her thunder. In just about every conversation there was the agenda going on that she must be the winner and therefore I'm the loser.
Yes! I learned early on to avoid or downplay public praise as much as possible because it would come back to bite me sooner or later. Good observation!
Omg yes! I’m so uncomfortable with compliments because my narc dad would bash me to anyone who complimented me in his presence. It’s difficult to accept the good others see in you when you own parents denied it.
Or heaven forbid if some neighbors admired your creative displays. My narc would accuse me of being WORSHIPPED. Which for a self ordained god was blasphemy!
These 6 traumas triggers basically conclude my whole life. My life evolves around those triggers. Makes me feel better that there are reasons for my pains
This is so true! What parents don't understand is that beating us over stupid shit, just gives us problems, and stress, rather than fixing the *real* problem. What my mom never understood was that when she slaps me, it teaches me nothing. It just stresses me out. She used to slap me everytime I would slam a door. If slapping me did do anything, then why would I still be slamming the door when I'm mad. Hm?
It sounds like you were able to see what she did was wrong and overcome it. It is heartbreaking to hear stories where a child is hurt and it being just a child. The parent themself had the same treatment and cycle it forward. I am sorry for the child in all of us. We get bigger bodies and can’t get the emotional part to match.
My mum used to say “tell me the truth and nothing bad will happen”….then she’d beat us the second we confessed and had the temerity to wonder how she raised 3 liars! My 2 big sisters are still afraid to be honest with my mother and they’re in their 40’s & 50’s.
They tell themselves they're doing it for YOUR benefit--toughening you up. They have power/ego issues and no self-control and can't face the fact that they get their rocks off on being demeaning or abusive/neglectful... so of course, their cruelty is clearly 'benevolence.' How dare you not be GRATEFUL!? :P I'm 45 and was taken from my birth mother to be raised by zealous cult people; I excised them completely from my life earlier this year, and my psychological health/function is STARKLY stronger when I don't have people like that trying to destroy every little daily joy and achievement. Slam those doors, girl--you've earned it. :)
No, they know exactly what they're doing. Corporal punishment "works" by creating a trauma response connected to something they don't want you to do. The trauma isn't a bug, it's a feature. People have kinda been trying to forget this since kindness became regarded as a virtue, but our cruel ancestors had no delusions about it; they just didn't see a problem with making others suffer.
Love the way you enumerate each trigger, discuss specific examples, the root cause AND how to parent the inner child for each one. Everyone talks about doing inner child work, and sometimes it's not clearly spelled out how or what to do. This is immensely helpful.
Trauma is a form of brainwashing - to convince the child that what they're perceiving or feeling isn't actually true. My father would sometimes prepare spoiled food for dinner, and then spank us children if we vomited. If we refused to eat it, we would go to bed hungry. And yes, being a child, but being expected to act like an adult. How many of us were told, "Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about!"? I learned to cry silently. Forgiveness was an unknown quality in my household; thank God I had other adults in my life who gave me a model for how a healthy adult behaves.
@Buggy Rose I never heard it put that way. It's as Leonard Cohen said "I wish I could say everything...in one word. I hate all the things that can happen between the beginning of a sentence and the end."
My mum always laughed at me or made jokes about new things I wanted to do growing up... now I’m so insecure about taking up new hobbies or trying new things because I’m afraid that people will laugh at me and bully me about that :|
Hey, same here from my mother. My advice is just do it. You don't get that time to learn something new back, but you can start getting there today. And don't worry about other people and what they think about your hobby/ies. It is your interest, not theirs. Be as loud with your hobbies as you can, don't mute up or hide it if someone notices. It is the most cathartic feeling to be able to open up to yourself about what you enjoy for the first time.
True what the person said at the bottom. But ill still write my peace . You should try new things hairstyles and recipes and if they dont like it My Heavenly father will deal with them I will leave it in his hands .They hurt me He claps them back for me
yesss, this is why i would secretly work out or do something when noone was around just to save myself from the embarrassment of being found out and made fun of
not alone, same from my mom. also she would say “oh who are you friends with that likes (insert hobby here)” like i wasn’t even a person with my own interests but a reflection of others.
#3 has opened my eyes a bit. whenever someone is feeling anything that's not positive i instantly feel annoyed extremely tense and ready for a fight. i get annoyed that they can't just fake contentment like i do.
It’s so weird how I relate to all of this even though I had, to my knowledge, a pretty normal childhood. My parents have never abused me but they did say and do hurtful things (as people do sometimes) that I still remember to this day. My mother in particular is a very aggressive and controlling person with a lot of pride but she’s also kind, caring and helpful and it’s been really confusing not knowing which version of her that I’m talking to most days. I feel bad for even thinking that my parents did something wrong and everyone is quick to remind me that I’m not allowed to complain and that I need to stop being sensitive.
'everyone is quick to remind me that I’m not allowed to complain and that I need to stop being sensitive' --> Here is the problem. It's like an oppressive system, where anyone is not allowed to talk against the system, even though the system is at fault, but the person is made to be believed that it's his/her fault for not obeying the rules. And if the person believes that, he will end up blaming him/herself and feel guilty to talk against the system that's at fault. Inorder to understand and comeout of the guilt, we need to accept that we were wronged and it's not our fault and the blame should go where it's due. We need to understand that the system it self is wrong. Hope I'm making sense.
You really need to look in to narcissistic mothers... yours sounds classic! Patrick, Dr. Ramani, Dr. Kim Sage, and the Crappy Childhood Fairy all have great videos in the topic.
At the very least, the inconsistencies of their behavior was probably enough to unsettle and dysregulate your inner child. You are allowed to feel strongly about that, even if there were also good aspects.
I really cried through this. I'm trying to figure out if my parents are toxic, and they are. I know this after watching this video. My dad once told me I was being mean on purpose because I left cheese out. I was 10 at the time and now know I have adhd. I now have a crippling fear of being mean. Even when I'm not mean, I'm afraid someone will think I'm mean.
yeah!! My parents called me mean for not really knowing how to socially interact as a kid (stuff like they say hi and I just don't acknowledge them at all :/ oops) and yup. It's the adhd
This is EVERYTHING I needed to hear. It’s so hard to feel like my world gets turned upside down at things which seem so basic to others. Now I understand. 🙏 this all makes sense
I also saw his recommendation and approach Dr Oyalo for the herbs on RU-vid. The herbs has so far work positive on my child’s eye contacts and speech improvement. My child social skill is good now and response to name has improved too
That is so well put about the negative feedback and the neutral feedback. I truly used to get triggered by both of them and that deep ruminating about the fact that nobody knows what is going on on the inside of me was the true reaction. University professors used to say that was such kind of character I wouldn’t go far. I couldn’t connect with people because I looked at everybody and saw such superficial connections. I needed something deeper at that point nobody could relate to my wounded experience. It is so painful that you can’t show people your emotional wreckage.
I also saw his recommendation and approach Dr Oyalo for the herbs on RU-vid. The herbs has so far work positive on my child’s eye contacts and speech improvement. My child social skill is good now and response to name has improved too
Shut up dude. How do you know me so well?!? Subbed! This!! “We were greatly misunderstood growing up. Our parents didn’t see us as children. Toxic parents usually see their kids as selfish adults who are making choices at their expense.”
3 of us in a row. Both parents young and drank. I was the oldest. Afraid to ask for anything, such as a school pencil, would hear a lecture on how long they had to work to pay for it. Crazy, I started working for the neighbor at 11, so I'd have money and to help my 2 siblings when they needed something, but wouldn't ask for it. To this day, I will buy my daughter or grandson something they need or even what I need, but get it for them. Such as a bathrobe, I needed one, but bought both of them one, and went without. She doesn't make a lot of money, and I help with the extras. Around my mother, to this day, I say nothing, and honestly cant wait to leave after a visit or picking up something she needed. Father passed.
I keep just sharing information about myself here simply because I can. Right now I am in a period when I am waiting. Waiting for leaving my house (I am 17), waiting for my school term end, waiting for feel more alive and beat art crisis. And I have hope. I made my decision not to give up and move forward, and... It's getting better. I am now in a state of overwhelming, which caused my insensibility for a couple of weeks. I feel like emotions are too much and I just wanna stay in my room in silence for hours. Stress is really a lot, but my psychic copes with it quite good for now. Thing that I suddenly remembered is that one day, when I felt like I am nothing important, not loveable and not needed even by my own parents (and if they don't need me, who can possibly do, that's how I was thinking), and when I was suffering from deepest pain in my life (hard memories came back all in once and I didn't want to live), I just somewhy instinctively hugged myself and started to caress myself, saying "You are now in safety. Everything is fine. You are well-done. I love you" and etc. And it helped. I was just doing for myself all the things I wanted - I was supportive and loving, physical, touching and careful. Love yourself, it costs you nothing and sometimes it's the only thing that keeps you alive. And yes, you deserve it. Just because you exist
"We can't create a new empowered narrative of who we were without really knowing what the original history is." YES!!! This is what I was trying to tell my therapists a few years ago, but they wouldn't listen. One told me talking about my trauma was as useless as talking about baseball. Why don't more therapists understand this?
Totally agree. These things are buried so deeply we have to connect with them first to try to excavate the problem and try to correct it. They're pa of our psyche and just putting a plaster over that doesn't work as we don't know why these things are affecting us. I had a great therapist many yrs ago who helped me explore so things from certain parts of family but I never knew there was so much more work left. More recent therapy has been useless. Telling me to 'forgive'... I'm not interested in blaming myself more for not forgiving! I'm interested in helping myself to get well become more whole and move forward. I've spent decades living a lie and it's time to discover myself and not spent more time that I don't have left at 56.... feeling bad because I can't forgive someone for shaping my psyche into a person I never was and never wanted to be. Therapist kicked to the kerb and doing my own work and will source another therapist when I know what I need and that they can support me on that journey. If your therapist isn't holding a safe/unconditional space then their time has ended as they're not part of your recovery 😊😊🙋🙋
@@bereal6590 Exactly. I left and now I do bibliotherapy. I recently finally gave in and tried EFT tapping and oh. my. god. it works so WELL!!! I've cleared so much trauma over the past few weeks and am finally starting to live life for me. I'm suddenly writing so much music, it's crazy. I just might get that album done on time for a Fall release!
@@bereal6590 Forgiveness is not a "cure all" we can only forgive when we are ready and we can heal without forgiving ,"forgiveness" when we are not ready does far more harm than good as it fills us with guilt as we then believe we lack generosity towards our abusers by not forgiving them,we are not the perpetrators here,they are or were, those who ask us to "forgive" are 1) fed up to listen to what we trying to share with them,so they use the usual platitude "you should forgive" to shut us up or 2) they have no clue whatsoever about narcissistic abuse because they have not gone through it themselves and think it can be done just by saying "I forgive you".
Oof! The link between positive feedback and potential manipulation is so true! There’s also a feeling of “ok you didn’t f this up but don’t get too comfortable or get too proud or you’ll jinx yourself and everything will come crashing down.” That’s one reason why negative feedback is preferable for me. It’s a motivator and I feel like I’d never accomplish anything without it.
"I'm not responsible for everyone's emotional experiences... it doesn't always mean that something really bad is about to happen when other people are feeling their feelings."
You’re on another level. You really understand so many complexities of being human. That’s obvious to me at least. Love the content. It’s truly helping me. Love how you jump right into it and you’re wildly calm yet articulate. Thanks.
I love your comment, but at the same time I know that the same person who poisoned my family (yes, you read that right) has very much alive and thriving houseplants. Just a word of caution! But yes, the houseplants in the vid are gorgeous ❤️
I have sensory processing issues, so certain music feels like it puts me straight into fight or fight. One of my friends calls it my "punching people" music. I always ask people to turn it down or off, and I leave the situation if it all possible, but I definitely get angry and irritable and anxious if I'm stuck in a situation with music that causes me to feel like that. If it's loud, even with music that I like, I feel that way too sometimes.
@@renee3461 that sounds exactly like me. I live next to a busy street and when someone comes by with bass so loud you can hear it for 5 min before the car comes in sight. I lose it. Im currently looking for a place to move
Oh my god me too. Loud music immediately irritates me and makes me defensive and angry because it feels so startling and offensive. Glad its not just me haha, I thought I was weird for being sensitive about it
I recently realized that I had trauma when it comes to disappointment and being misunderstood. My friend and I were driving to school and I was just unloading and they finally just cut me off and said "quit treating yourself the way your father treats you". It's stuck with me ever since. My father isn't a bad person, and I do love him, but the words he says to me about me being lazy and a disappointment hurts so much when I'm already struggling. I'm currently in college and live with three other roommates. I barely can afford my own rent and struggling juggling work and school. My final grades came back and I got Bs and Cs. When I told my dad he was upset and told me I didn't try hard enough. He has no idea how I've been mentally, how I came close to suicide three different occasions. I didn't tell him how I was doing, I can't. He has bad health problems and I don't want to be even more of a burden. I just wish he would understand. But deep down I know that, like in the past, even if I did tell him, he would brush it off and would just call me lazy again. Lmao sorry to unload, not my intention. This entire video just hit hard. Edit: thank you everyone for your kind words. I am taking medication, going to therapy, and doing better. I hope everyone is doing well and pushing through.
Yes, it is traumatic to have your feelings dismissed, especially when YOU need help, yet you can’t ask because you know your own problems will be all about them, and the pain THEY feel because of YOUR problems. So you feel alone to figure things out by yourself, since you can’t count on your parents. Just know that there are competent people who want the best for you. Go to these people, choose who you confide in, but please do seek out help from others.
I wonder why your father judges you so badly? What are his qualities, characteristics and achievements in his life? Have you achieved more for yourself than he has? 💕
I am often frustrated with myself for not doing as well as I would like despite trying hard. As nice as it would be to receive understanding and support from others, for myself, I've learned that being a friend to myself is even more important. Sometimes I just have to tell myself, "It's ok. I see you. I know you're trying. One step at a time. You can do this."
It is so amazing to listen and just nod, at practically everything being said. Especially the 'positive' reinforcements of comparison which were really unfairly aimed at other siblings. And this 'Toxic parents usually see their kids as selfish adults who are making choices at their expense' holy cow.
Hey Patrick, Thank you so much. Ambiguity is a HUGE trigger for me. Needing to control; to know. I never had security or safety as a child. It’s been an intense challenge because part of me LOVES the unknown and uncertainty, and the adventure of it. And then another part of me feels existential terror in the spaciousness of “not knowing,” and the stillness or emptiness.
Both of my parents have gone through trauma and so have their mom and dad .I want to learn more about my own trauma and stop the cycle. my parents aren't bad people but they never had videos like this when they were younger so I really appreciate these videos
It isn't just the parents who have an effect on the child we could also be a bossy sibling. My oldest daughter my younger daughter who said she was abused by her the bossiness itself is abusive in sibling relationships. I am just now realizing how my younger daughter was so horribly affected by her older sister. She is 40 her older sister is 45 and I just had a realization about this because by 40 year old has been saying that she was abused by her older sister and I couldn't understand how that was because I was busy with another child and with a career.
@@alphabeta525I’ve noticed that different generations on social media view 😂 as 😭 when they use it. I had to explain it to my grandmother, because it was a hugely inappropriate response to a text I sent her.
Wow, where do I start? Mind blowing, remarkable, deeply satisfying with feelings of relief, recognition and relevance. I was diagnosed at the age of 56: ADHD/CPTSD and Childhood Trauma. Your own personal experiences and how all of this relates directly to me is extremely powerful. Thank you for your contributions. To listen to you as if listening to a good friend brings a delightfully warm and comfortable feeling. I feel enlightened. Best wishes from Belgium. 🍀
Re: positive feedback. My mother was highly critical, would tell me all the ways I was deficient but would tout how wonderful I was to people outside of the home.
That's what gave me massive trust issues and self awareness. In private, my mom would criticize everything, lash out, complain about my performances, compare me to others. In public? 180. I was every parent's dream come true, and I was expected to smile and take compliments from strangers who totally believed we had the best relationship
I remember the confusion I felt when people would tell me that my parents were always bragging about me. Like, WHAT?😳 Now I know it's just part of this behavior pattern.
Your personal recovery seems so powerfully manifested and you communicate with such clear understanding of toxic situations. I admire you and thank you for wanting to help and succeeding in helping others.
My anger, sadness, distress pain, anything other than quiet and calm was criticized, punished, and put down in my childhood. My parents didn’t tolerate being bothered
I wish I would have found this channel 20+ years ago. I didn’t break the cycle raising my own son and now I struggle trying to repair our relationship. I appreciate your content so very much. Looking forward to delving deeper ♥️
I just wanted you to know you are not alone, I started figuring out a lot of this stuff midway through my oldest’s childhood. I had already done a lot of damage as a traumatized, rageoholic painbeast of a mother by that time. The most important thing is to be accountable and hear your child and accept their perspective without jumping to your own defense, you have to create and hold space for them. It’s so hard, especially if we weren’t given that ourselves. Sending you empathy and love and gratitude for your journey, thank you for being brave enough to say this. There are a lot of us who messed up and the shame is hard to overcome. 🫂
As a teenager rn who is dealing with a mother who didn't stop the cycle, repairing that relationship can be hard. However if I ever heard that my mom was genuinely sorry for what she did and recognized the things that she continues to do to me is bad, I would probably cry right there on the spot. I mean children always want to have someone they can rely on and if they can't find that at home then they'll try to find it with others. At the moment I can't find anyone to rely on. Like I'm doing online school so no peers, nor my family so everything is just very hard and piling on top of eachother. And I know if things don't stop soon I will become the child that distances themself from the family. As much as I love everyone i also have a really strong dislike or even hatred towards my family. I'm just afraid that one day down the line my mom will realize everything she did to me was wrong however it will be too late to reach out to me like in your case...
As someone who had a mother that didn’t break that cycle until I was much older, she apologized and genuinely meant it and that changed absolutely everything. It took time and lots of hard work but she is now my favorite person in the entire world when she was once someone i couldn’t get enough distance from. There is always hope if you’re willing to do the work. 💕
I didn't break the cycle either. Instead of being a ragaholic I've always been a doormat. A new generation is growing up and even they know I'm a sucker. Im like the cowardly lion who needs to find his courage. I need to find this strength so that I don't spoil another generation.
@Kelly Harris I caught myself enacting learned behaviour when my son was about 15, I realised I’d been battling with him and hardly saying a kind thing in almost 2yrs (since he became a teen with his own point of view) I was able to hold my hands up and have a heart to heart with my son and explain I was wrong and why I’d behaved the way I did and that I was going to change that day…..and I did. It’s never too late! Have a heart to heart, tell them what’s on ur conscience and ask them to speak freely without worry of hurting ur feelings. Then put it all in the past and move forward with actions and words that shape how you want your relationship to be. It takes time and patience but you’ll get there. Best of luck mamma 💜
thank you! i'm in this odd boat where i treat my narcissistic mother normally, i don't let her abuse me, but i still react to everyone else in my life the way my wounded inner child would. healing has been tough, but definitely worth it!
All his said about everything are so in point!! Thank you for this. Not remembering what happened, it's hard to assess why things are such struggle for most of my life .. thank you this is making sense a lot!!
The worst thing about trauma is, we don't see it. And yet we are the very product of trauma. If we wanna fix our behavior we gotta fix our fundamental beliefs, which are formed during traumatic events (Those not always being negative). Aswell as over long habituation. Trauma is just an experience that left you so out of control that you develop a coping mechanism to escape confrontation with that situation. So we're all just a bundle of coping mechanisms. Even people that don't seemingly have trauma. Even me writing this, never considering I might have traumas, most definitely still act out coping mechanisms. In fact now that I'm investing myself into the topic, I can see just how traumatized I truly am. Going through life blind is like shoving the dust under the carpet. Best be attentive and aware, so you can truly see what's causing you the problems that you are experiencing on a day to day basis. We ourselves are the only one to blame for our own circumstances. We might not have control over external circumstances, but at least we can regain a level of control regarding our own reaction to external circumstances that puts the emphasis back on outlook rather than a pathological need to control everything. We don't really need anything; not from anyone, not from the world, we just need to fix ourselves.
same I've never considered myself to have had a bad upbringing and this was weirdly just in my suggested videos and I watched it to learn about what others might struggle with and BOOM - most of these are me! Childhood trauma must not be the only thing that can cause these emotions, or maybe my childhood was worse than I thought
@@nickpaperstreet it could be that the toxic parts of your upbringing were more covert. I dismissed all of the bad things because my family was stable, we had a decent house, and my parents weren’t physically abusive. So I thought, “At least I’m not kicked around everyday. I’m fine.”
Like me you probably dont have memories but rather bodily memories of more insidious trauma. I thought I had a good upbringing until 4 years ago when it all started to come out.
@@REChronic54 same, we experienced suble , but just as damaging trauma , if not more so because it takes so long to come to the forefront for us to recognise it and deal with it.
This came up on my suggested and I really enjoyed the discussion. I had toxicity in my family but it was mostly driven by my older brother. Everyone's behaviour was expected to alter around his moods. My dad had been the same way in some ways but he improved with age. I was targeted as an outlet, I only understood as an adult that he was being bullied and so it made him very spiteful to me, always going for the emotional jugular then shaming me when I cried. He would bring up my high school experience where I was bullied to the point I became selectively mute and shame me for that. I held a lot of anger towards my mum for not protecting me from that. Clearly he was very wrong but he was also her son and she didn't feel like she could take sides. As an adult I realised that she was human. But also that I didn't have to put up with that. I went no contact at 24 and that lead to an improvement in our relationship. Sadly our parents passed away when I was 28 and 30, but we have a much better relationship and part of that is that my brother has been to therapy and is medicating his OCD. So stay strong, everyone. Choose your mental health even if your abuser is your family.
These are so spot on for me! I never realised such subtle things were triggers before. I didn't really notice the activated feeling so much in these situations, but I know I would feel riled up, then drained and kinda down afterwards and not really knowing why, just feeling like there's something wrong with me 'why do I get so annoyed at people', 'why do I feel like shit' etc. Something I notice is that therapists mostly talk about childhood trauma from toxic parents, but not a lot about toxic siblings. Is that because the 'blame' is on the parents for creating the toxic family dynamics?
Thanks for this, I am a deeply wounded and misunderstood child who is now an adult trying to figure things out. This was enlightening and I could relate to almost everything in some way. Wishing everyone the healing they need to thrive as a person 🙏🏽❤️ Love and light!
When I walk out of a door in public I always look behind me to see if anyone is heading out too and if so I'll always hold door & wait on them, my husband walks out and never checks, I've seen so many people get the door shut in their face and it goes all over me, I've told him be aware of others around you, you're not polite or considerate of others, I'll turn around and open the door, smile at them and then apologize for what he done. IDK if it's me or he really is rude, he seems to just not care about politeness and what others think
I was once in a relationship that was constantly triggering, as she continually insisted I was cheating on her. There was nothing I could do to convince her otherwise. She found every opportunity to accuse me, like she was leaving no stone unturned. None of it made sense until I found out that SHE was cheating on ME, and trying to put off the scent. That was the beginning of the end. Within a couple of months I walked out, never to return, in spite of her begging me to stay. If someone accuses you of something that doesn't make sense, take a close look at them, because they are probably projecting what they've done onto you.
So many things in so many of his videos have been revelations in understanding for me. Child of divorce, of an alcoholic father, etc. And I relate to so many of the examples and thought patterns. But man - the parents don't see kids as kids - just selfish mini-adults. That one really resonated with me on a deeper level.
Thank you, Patrick. You have articulated things I've never heard anyone else notice. You describe people like me. It's at once "validating" (I apologize for the loaded word) and feels a bit raw, a bit exposing. That's to the good. Thank you, thank you.
I’m finally moving out of my abusive mother’s house. It’s been really hard, but she is extremely emotionally abusive. The main thing gets me when it comes to openly talking about it is... why? Any time we have an argument or even if she says something small, it immediately triggers this child in me that feels as though it isn’t loved or wanted. Which is understandable when she’s acting that way, but it makes me feel unloved and unwanted by everyone. With no one to blame but myself. Childhood trauma is so insanely hard to deal with because it’s all we have ever known
Being laughed at while I'm crying absolutely sends me over the edge. It hasn't happened in a long time but I remember it so vividly and I'm so scared to cry in front of my family now.
When I was 5 years old I fell off the monkey bars and hurt my head. I was playing in the playground in the center of an apartment complex and I had to walk past 2 ladies to go up to our apartment. Would you believe I just stood there and yelled for my dad. I didn't want to walk by those 2 ladies cause I didn't want them to see me crying. At 5 years old I already knew you don't cry in front of anyone. Me, a little 5 year old kid.
Yes. I remember when my parents video recorded my melt down and laughed in my face. When all I needed was a hug, my pain and confusion were entertainment to them.
I understand Erica, this is how I was the first 35 years of my life. Sadly, I taught my children crying in front of anyone was dangerous and weak. I was so badly mistaken. On another night of sleep eluding me, in the lonely darkness, I came to a realization that pivoted my belief on this. That realization was that tears are not a sign of weakness, but a sign of an enormous heart which we all know requires incredible strength. Tears are the physical manifestation of overwhelming grief and love. My thoughts are with you today.
I always find it weird when a kid is way too mature for their age. People usually see it as a gift, but I know from personal experience there's usually something else behind it. Kids should act like kids, and if they're acting all cold and taking decisions it probably because there's a situation at home that's forcing them to grow up fast. And that's never good for nobody. Edit: Reading everyone's stories has been so validating. To everyone who is sharing or will share, thank you so much ❣️
Them, thinking they’re giving you a compliment: «oh, you’re so mature for your age». Every single one of us that grew up in some form of abuse: «Thanks, it’s the trauma». I used to take it as a compliment too, until I saw someone connect the dots between said «maturity» and childhood trauma, while opening my eyes to the fact that it isn’t even close to what’s supposed to be normal.
Mature kids, I know I was one and my bf was one, are almost always an indicator of either neglect or childhood trauma. It's such a shame that this is seen as a positive thing. As if the very concept of children being children is irksome... we really haven't evolved that far past from "children are to be seen and not heard" mentality 😢
So much yes to this. And now in my mid twenties, I'm being told i act like a 17 year old. And you know what? That's because i'm finally free from the shackles of self-doubt, manipulation, control, and maturing too young. I get to be wacky n weird and loud and not have anyone ruin my day ^~^
I was forced to do almost everything for my parents. Calling the bank, insurance stuff and so on, thus I was very mature at a very young age. Everyone told me how intelligent and gifted I was but I hated having to call the insurance for my parents at the age of 11. It shows until today, I'm overly mature. I never fit right in because I never acted my age and I was very good friends with some of my friends moms.
watching my parents be loving christians around the church and then rage and abuse us at home really messed with my ability to believe anyone’s kindness for a while.
Jesus calls that hypocrisy. Sadly even believers aren’t exempt though they should know better just by reading examples of it and its effects in the Bible
My mother was a born again Christian too and would send us to church after laying beside her husband abuse us all night amd would call is where's and beat us. I'd love to be a fly on the wall when they meet their maker amd see what he really thinks of the behaviours
I am so sorry you experienced that. There are a lot in the church that are only following religion and not developing a deeper relationship with GOD (which brings about true change and Christlikeness). I pray for your total healing and wholeness.🤗💖
i personally feel so… weird when people talk to me about their childhood and it’s not ragged, fuzzy and torn it’s just happy and colorful, and they actually remember things properly
@@belle3055 even tho I've definitely had a bad childhood just looking at how my parents treat my younger sibling. but my brain just keeps hiding it and making me forget about it, it's probably out of fear i would remember it again or relive it again. Proof is probably when i watch videos like "10 signs you have toxic parents" even tho i don't remember most of those bad memories, i still tear up.
I remember I used to get punished for “talking back” when I would try to explain myself or answer a question and now I have a really hard time engaging conversation with anyone, I’m 20 and still can’t hold a conversation, I get so nervous worrying about if I’ll say something stupid or something that’s rude and offensive so I just don’t talk most of the time.
I hear you. Oh, how we all just don't know that which another is suffering as we stand before each other. May you find the skills to be your best self. 💞
I'm 53 and I still get scared of getting in trouble when speaking to my parents. I'm not allowed to have my own opinions, viewpoints, mind. My family is VERY freaking dysfunctional.
@@audreychristine58 it's when we're older, me 74, and realize we're still internalizing the way we were treated at 10, 11, .... 18. But even finally getting away from it, it still is there.
I freakin bawled so hard at this part of the video. It was like someone finally understood me as that child and what I went thru. I can't even type this without crying. I feel so bad for lil Leslie (that's the name I chose for my inner child) I feel guilty as an adult that I couldn't leaen to self soothe. Gosh, I need to go back to therapy... Sadface. But thank you for your comment, really really resonates with me. Lots of love to you 💜💜💜
As a child I never felt like a real person, we find ways to survive our difunctional up bringing its how we become functional adults but this kind of information is truly awakening and helpful.
So, I feel like all of us have been raised by parents who didn't resolve their childhood trauma from their parents who didn't resolve their childhood trauma.... How does this cycle ever get broken?
Personally, I've opted to never have children. Not just for trauma reasons, but it is a major factor. Cycle can't continue if there's no one to continue it. But like I said, this is just the simplest option for myself.
@@lanamclagen7017 mee too dude on the high way I can’t even look at the person on the next lane. There’s something inside me like a feeling of I’m going to faint or blackout if I look at this person on the next lane.
My favorite method of coaching my inner child is saying "hey kiddo, that was a survival tactic- we are not in survival mode anymore." Its almost instantly calming.
@@biancasadventure it really does help. Its oddly grounding and in a weird way uplifting. Knowing you aren't just surviving your life anymore and reinforcing that feels good.
I learned to call my inner child "BEBE, how are you feeling today?" It felt so right! I have needed to feel loved and wanted for so long. I love that you call yours KIDDO.
Noted. I’ll have to try this especially since it took me years to realize I’ve been in flight or fight mode or autopilot. I’m going to be on my own for the first time so I’m looking forward to finally being able to recover.
People use to praise me for being so quiet and secluded, "mature" and not asking for anything as a child. Now that I have children I never get mad at them for being CHILDREN, they're everything I'm not. That I wish I had. EDIT: SINCE PEOPLE CAN'T COMPREHEND WHAT IM SAYING, "mature" as in worrying if we were going to have money to pay the bills or buy food. Not wanting to ask for help in anything because I felt like a burden. Didn't ask to go on field trips or new clothes so I wouldn't have to need money. Playing with toys didn't bring me joy. Not playing with other kids cause it felt pointless. Singing or being silly turned into snapping at me or yelling or shaming me for wanting to be a kid. Being on survival mode is NOT living and it's very hard to not teach my kids how to only survive but to also live. I didn't realize till after my first child that what I thought was normal is NOT.
I'm sure you're doing amazingly just be careful with taking it to the extreme. My mother did that with and I'm trying to find a balance in my parenting
My God. What a blessing you are. 23 minutes you have been a presence in my life of 47 years and you have taught me so much and explained a life of misery I could not articulate! My inner child needed this. My adult brain absorbed this. My soul is not as crushed as it was less than and hour ago. Thank you.
Every single day I ask myself, why am I like this? Why can’t I just be normal and not let little things bother me? This is the first time someone has ever explained to me why I react so sensitively to things especially other people. Someone can have a slight tone change and it feels like the end of the world sometimes. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing this. You have no idea how thankful I am for this. I’ve finally identified the problem and can move to the next step of healing and deep diving into my childhood.
With the gradual using of dr Oyalo herbal recommendation for autism, whom I met on RU-vid, my son is totally free from Autism with his speech cleared and behavior ok as he can now respond to name, orders and act right. Thank you doc Oyalo for your help. I am Greatful 🙏
I am totally the same way, or was the same way. You are healed I am getting there. I am SOOOOOOOOOO thankful for your comment because I am literally going through the same thing. Thanks for the reminder that this is possible to heal! Much love to you on your journey❤
Something that I struggle with a lot is that I've never really viewed my parents as abusive or neglectful and yet I'm seeing all these videos pointing out triggers that I identify with and explaining that they come from a background of childhood trauma. I've recently come to realize that my parents were emotionally unavailable and because of their own trauma, kind of passed it down to my siblings and I, but I wouldn't go so far as to call them abusive? It makes it a lot harder to deal with my trauma because there's always that part of myself in the back of my mind saying that I'm being dramatic or my trauma isn't real because my parents were never drunk or hitting me or obviously harmful.
I get this. It's been weird and uncomfortable and also sort of relieving/validating/cathartic in some ways learning to accept that, "Yes, my parents did the best they knew how to do, and it was actually a pretty amazing job knowing more of how hard it was, *and* they still messed up, it still had a negative impact on me, and it's okay for me to feel upset about that."
never agreed with something so much. had a hard time up until this video even considering i had childhood trauma because in the back of my mind i think i’m being dramatic :/
For me, there's also an overwhelming feeling of shame - I'm ashamed that, although I wasn't openly abused or neglected, my parents did the best they could and they loved me unconditionally, I turned out more traumatized, less life-skilled, more avoidant, more resentful towards them than most people who survived actual trauma like alcoholism, physical violence or sexual abuse.
Kids don't choose to have their parents, parents choose to have kids. If there were one message I wished everyone considered before becoming parents, it's that one.
Agree totally!! Way too many breeders having kids just bc society says you should. My childhood was incredibly painful and haunting me still at 51 years old. I decided as a child that I did not ever want to be a parent as parents were the enemy! I am very happy to be childfree.
Sounds like you're telling women to have abortions.. No one chooses trauma and every parent does the best they can with what they have but yes, there are unfortunate events that parents ~can~ create but we are all people..
@Mylfy Gamer i don’t think that’s the point they’re making at all. the point is that no child asks to be born but many children are treated as inconveniences by their parents. some parents make it seem like giving basic needs to their child gives them the right to do or say whatever they want to them. you didn’t choose to have your children but you did choose to keep them, so just treat them well.
My poor mom had the most horrible time growing up, and I understand why she doesn't feel like she can safely ask for help with anything, but *oh boy* yeah. The worst part is that she's actively undermining anyone who is willing to help out, since she 1. feels safest with the familiar -- doing everything herself -- and then compulsively burns herself out on routine household tasks in order to avoid her more complicated adult responsibilities (like delegating tasks), and 2. will automatically overrely on anyone who does try to help out, inevitably burning them out, too.
My mum doesn’t want to do anything for her self. She never has really. She doesn’t want to take any responsibility. Perhaps she can’t because others have always done it for her. It is also very rare that she would straight out ask for help. And yes, there are some things she physically can’t do or doesn’t know how, just like anyone. She will just phrase it in a passive aggressive way that has to be decoded. It’s just my brother & I & we are thought of pretty much like slaves. She has a lot of help from those outside the family because she is a certain age on her own but constantly complains that she doesn’t have any help & “no one”. Any task my brother & I do is micromanaged & completely draining. I have had to give up helping around the house because of this. She would love nothing more than a bunch of people constantly buzzing around her & seeing to her needs. It would be better if it was strangers actually, people she had no emotional connection to she wouldn’t have any kind of bias & her ego boosted.
@Ana Banana Just being aware of the pattern is a huge step in overcoming it. Also, if it helps, for myself I try to focus on how frustrating and unfair it is when someone expects me to read their mind; I find that really helps me to feel more comfortable with expressing myself and what I need.
Oh my God, my mom had a way of expecting me to do things correctly even though she wouldn't properly explain them first. She got that from her own mother. It lead to me not asking for help or explanations anywhere because I have this feeling like I should know it already
Yep! Spot on same here. My mum use to make me go in and groceri shop for the family. Then get livid when I'd get the wrong product or wrong cut of meat. It was hell
I feel like this about almost every boss I’ve ever had! Like, are the details a big secret? Do you think I’m psychic? The only one who was descriptive, supportive, and thoughtful taught me things I still use, 20 yrs later.He became my mentor, and I miss him so. But never connected that with my upbringing. Hmmm
I am having the same feeling... When I was a grade 6 student my mother expect me to do housechores but when I told her I can't do it because she doesn't teach me how to do it she got mad as if I am a living fool to not know what to do with it. She even said to me that I should know because I can see how she does it, she brags about her learning it that way when she was just a child, she expects me to do the same. And I AM ALWAYS TELLING HER THAT WE ARE NOT THE SAME.
I tend to find myself always explaining my whole situation if I feel like someone is mad at me. Even at little things. Like, “well, I was at the park because I wanted to be outside, and then I found the stick because I accidentally tripped over it (not because I tied my shoes wrong, because the pavement was uneven), and then I came here ... “ blah blah blah. Like, always feel like I can’t just be, I have to say everything so they understand and aren’t upset lol
ohh yeah, whenever I do like. Literally anything, I'll start coming up with an explanation and ironing it out ahead of time just in case, it's exhausting
Oh yeah same. Never knew what my parents wanted to know of me, never specific, more question meant more yelling, so it means I have to say -everything-. This ended up in me unable to properly explaining myself to people. Currently trying to relearn
Omg same... I apologize for literally anything and everything. Even things that doesn't even have anything to to with me. People tell me all the time that I should stop apologizing
I don't know who this guy is, or why he showed up on my feed today, but I am extremely glad he did. These are all things that have an enormous impact on my life and I had no idea any of them were from my childhood trauma. I'm 42 years old and just now beginning to understand that my specific kind of crazy originates from my terrifying childhood. More so, I'm only now understanding that it might be able to be fixed.
Most of the more severe illnesses happen to people because an upsetting event occurs in their lives taking them by surprise, unexpectedly, impacting first in the brain, then in the corresponding organ which that part of the brain controls. The end of WWI had absolutely everything to do with the Flu and lung TB outbreak that occurred killing millions. In nature, the biological conflict linked with a territorial fear (just what it means-a fear in your territory, your home, your community, etc.) is a widening of the bronchia (tissue loss). Your body attempts to widen your bronchia in order to allow more air into your lungs to give you more strength and energy to fight to keep your territory safe. Stay with me.......The biological conflict linked with a death fright impacts the lungs. The lungs attempt to grow larger in order to allow more air in because breath equals life, as we all know. No breath equals death. While you are in the fear or death fright conflict, you notice no symptoms of “disease”, except you have cold hands, cold feet, you can’t sleep, you awaken at 3 AM every night, you have little appetite. During the war, millions of people were in fear of the bombing of their homes and cities where the war was most active. Fearing for their lives, their loved ones in the war, their ability to survive. The food in the stores was sparse due to shortages. This lasted for 4 long years! The longer the conflict, the worse the healing phase. Within 2 weeks of the German Chancellor announcing the end of WWI, these millions of people ALL went into the healing phase all at the same time. It is during the healing phase that you experience symptoms of illness! What is the healing phase of the bronchia widening? Severe bronchitis, pneumonia. The body attempts to refill this lost tissue and you experience inflammation, fever, coughing, body aches, fatigue, etc. What is the healing phase of the extra lung tissue that grew? Decomposing of the tissue by TB bacteria and fungi. The symptoms of this healing phase are: severe coughing up of blood and tissue, fever, inflammation, severe mucous, body aches, fatigue. During this decomposing of the extra tissue (tumor), the body expels a lot of protein, and without replenishment, severe protein loss can result in death. Antibiotics did not exist yet. If TB bacteria does not exist in a person or they have been vaccinated against TB (big mistake), then the tumor will simply encapsulate and become dormant and not harm you. Who died during the Spanish Flu? Mainly the poor who could not afford to buy meat and proper nourishment, and the people who were directly impacted by the bombings and destruction of their homes. Millions of people suffered fear and death frights during the fighting of WWI, and millions of people all went into healing at the end of it. Not everyone was affected because not everyone suffered the same way. It’s not a “flu”, it’s not something you “catch”. It’s biological, meaningful, and unavoidable. One hundred years later, a Fear Campaign begins, using the media to spread it...
So sorry for your trama. I am glad you are getting the understanding and help you need. I grew up in a loving Christian family and my life's work was about improving family life for others. I am approaching my elderly years and have always had a hard time reconciling religious believers and harsh, hurtful behavior toward children (and women). Best wishes to you for a bright future.
Last week, I set a boundary with my mother that included calling before she visits. She tried guilting me and when that didn’t work she said,” There’s always been something wrong with you. I’m ashamed of you.” I immediately ended the conversation and hung up. I’m 53, I’m a hospice nurse and I am still dealing with my childhood.
Just hearing you say "You are not responsible for other people's moods..." may have just changed my life. Thank you! I felt myself let go of something heavy when you said it. Please keep these videos coming!
I was physically abused, and not once did I acknowledge that. I always blamed myself for getting mistreated, because little me was 'annoying and bratty'. I was always blamed by my abuser, and never learned this lesson...until now, thank you.
youre doing a wonderful job my darling, i hope your proud of yourself (cos i am) for valuing your own wellness and better yourself piece by piece 💚📚🎈 youre cool as hell.
