6 Ways We Want to Change the Funeral Business in an Ideal World 

We need to make this a regular thing, Kari! You get us started on these conversations and it's off to the races. Appreciate your nuance and open-mindedness here and always.

Caitlin and Kari after two bottles of wine would be kind of interesting 😁

Never in million years did I ever think that one day a talk between two morticians would have me over the moon with anticipation! 😂 and that they would be two of my favorite you tubers!!

I dont know why they pin you two against eachother. You both just want everyone to know their options. Shocker. Love both of your content. Amazing combo.

My favorite people collide! I found Caitlyn 5 years ago that lead me to Kari, Lauren little miss funeral and the grave woman! Women of death unite!

Thanks to both of you, I knew to request a direct cremation for my dad. I knew that since “death is not an emergency” I took my time after his death (in hospice), spending some quality time. I knew that I could furnish my own urn, what my rights were. Thank you for making a difference.

I am a care giver of the elderly in their last years. I view my job as caring for the patient but giving an ear or shoulder to the family as they deal with these very hard choices and feelings. I watch your videos to learn more so I can help them. Thank you for showing multiple sides. Also my grandma told me stories of how things were done in her day. She was a farmers wife in the mountains of Tennessee and when there was a death the females of the family would wash and dress the deceased while the men were out digging the burial site. It was all very hands on everything happened in the home. I almost wish things could go back to that personal view. It was just the way it was. This was in the early !900's.

Little Miss. Funeral💕Grave Woman💞Kari Northey💞Caitlin Doughty🌺

Yes, you do need to do this regularly. Please! I have watched you both, Caitlin, I found you first...and thank you, because when my husband died on March 1st, 2021...I had somewhat of a clue. My husband died at home with me there with him...and I was blessed because though I didn't know he was dying, he sort of did...and his last act and words were to smile at me, say "I love you" with the sign language version of it also, put his arm down and he was gone...when I called 911 and told them he had had another stroke and passed, they sent the police and ambulance and checked and yes, he was gone (they dropped the EKG paper on the floor, I guess they missed it when they left...he was indeed flatlined and yes, I saved it.) But when the funeral people got there, I had enough where-with-all to tell them my desires and not be all falling apart. Which is a long-winded way to say to you both that you are helping demystify the whole process.

How wonderful. You two ladies are Brilliant.

I was so psyched when I saw this pop up on my feed! I follow both of your channels, and love the varied perspectives on both. To have the worlds collide is wonderful. Please, do this again!

I like the thought Caitlyn, about government help for those who can’t afford a funeral. We have government programs that take care of our living citizens, we should on those that are deceased as well. I like your thoughts on this to, Kari 💜❤️. Everyone deserves the dignity of a proper burial.

I love both of you ladies. I first started following Caitlin, and then RU-vid introduced me to your channel. I am so surprised that anyone would think you could have any ill feelings towards each other. You are both so sweet and have individual things to offer. Great video!

I love it when you two Girls get together and take us along. Bless your hearts! Enjoyed this emmensely.

Refreshing video! When I worked in a CA FH in the late 70's, I needed to get written or telephonic permission from the NOK to embalm. Approx. 20% elected no embalming. Some wanted viewing without embalming. There have been improvements for embalmers since I left the business. More PPE's are being used in the prep room today-then we only had gloves & plastic aprons we were forced to recycle. OSHA now requires proper ventilation in prep rooms since so many FH employees were subjected to noxious fumes. You are the new generation of embalmers & FD's & can demand changes needed in your industry.

Both of you have lifted the veil exposing what happens in this secretive process. I’ve learned that the rituals are really meaningless. I want to be remembered as I was in life, not a pickled specimen in a box with a lid. Nothing really helps the mourning process but time and the acceptance of the void left by our loved one’s absence. I’ve had massive experience with death as a cop and criminal investigator. I’ve watched nearly 800 post mortem examinations and working the recovery at the AA Flight 191Chicago to Los Angeles crash that took 273 souls. Catlyn’s historical documentaries are fantastic. As a fellow video creator I know the work and skills involved. Thank you both for what you do!

Used to be so scared, especially when my dad was dying. Wish i found u both before he passed from cancer. New sub here, thank u and great video!

Huge fan of yall! Caitlin has really helped me to lean very hard to a natural burial. Hopefully I can find that in Michigan!

This is the 2021 duo I needed 🖤

Would love to see a tour of Caitlin's funeral home, sounds nice :)

I love this and all of your ideas seem great to me. My father passed away earlier this year and I had the confidence to tell the funeral director that we didn't want him to be embalmed. He had already made it known that he wanted to be cremated and he was very environmentally aware. I asked about the chemicals used in embalming and what happened to those during the cremation process. The advice I was given determined the decision that was made for my dad. Thank you so much for giving us the awareness to understand the choices we can have rather than just accepting a scripted list of 'here's what is going to happen' when it comes to the funeral process.

I'm Excited! My 2 favorites together again!

I was so excited to see this collaboration in my inbox. You two are such an inspiration. My mom is even a fan of you both.

Very interesting conversation! I follow Caitlin also. I personally don't want to be cremated or embalmed. After much thought I want a green burial.

Kari and Caitlin, my two ABSOLUTE FAVORITES!! I really enjoyed this one! Thank you both.

love this so much! I am personally 100% on board with the idea of the funeral industry becoming a public service. when such a cardinal and integral part of life such as death becomes a monetary commodity, it can really foster distrust. not only for the undertakers but for the future apprentices as well

Two favourite educators I respect and adore. I would love to see both of you do a regular RU-vid educational sessions so we can get a perspective from two either differing or complementing answers. Love both of you for each of your unique presentations and helping us not to fear death.

You two ought to be great!😊👍

This was such a fascinating conversation. Each of your 3 (plus the bonus) suggestions were so interesting, informative, and open to compromise.

You two are definitely right in your thinking. It’s all about that almighty dollar in the world we live in so if you don’t have money you get screwed even after your gone.

Oh! My Goodness!!! You girls are such a breath of fresh air. My husband wants no embalming and a wooden casket. No funeral. I want to be cremated. Neither of us want to have anything to do with unscrupulous profiteers. Can anyone still be buried on family land?

This is a dream come true! I was thinking, “Wouldn’t it be amazing if Caitlin and Kari teamed up?”

Here on the west coast cremation and memorial services are more common than traditional funerals and burial. There is a definite trend towards green burial and other alternatives to embalming. My father was a mortician; he, my mother, stepmom and brother-in-law all chose to be cremated with simple or no service. It was instinctive for my daughter and me to bathe and dress my mom after she passed at home, and I agree family involvement in the process is important. For me, leaving the earth with the least possible harm to it is the priority, and I wish my body could be laid under a tree on my farm to nourish the ground and other animals.

My 2 fav ladies from the funeral business. Thanks so much for making this process not so scary

I love You two, collabing! Tfs You both are Awesome! Woman power!

I love you 2 together - What I would like to see is less of the large corporate owned and back to more family owned. It is my opinion that the more that Dignity owns the higher the prices go and the less personal service that families receive.

My 2 favorite morticians! This is so awesome! Love you ladies ❤️

Very interested in hearing your great ideas! I grew up at a time and place in Brooklyn, NY, in an immigrant Italian neighborhood where the only variation in funerals was which of the two or three funeral parlors in the neighborhood would host the event. And I see that deliberately because it was three full days of waking, and the funeral on the 4th with floral arrangements filling the rooms and a constant flow of people through the room. Weddings were also cookie cutter at the time. Today there is so much personal invention in both weddings and funerals; it is quite a change from my youth and I think for the better. The thing that I think is missing today though is some sense that society give the recently bereaved some space. With no set mourning rituals, we are adrift. Earlier generations wore the signs of their mourning and were somewhat “out of time” during this period. Today we are back to normal as soon as possible and just driving grief underground where it makes us sick. Just my two cents ....

Wow, two of my favorite people together !

Love, love, love this collaborative conversation between you two!! So many good points and ideas.

My favourites!!!!! Wow, both in one video! Yes 👏🏼

I totally agree that the government should do more to assist with funerals. It is about providing dignity to individuals and citizens of your country. We are people that pay taxes and help contribute to society. Much like education (and healthcare for many countries), it could be a government funded industry. This would provide a lot of options for everyone and if you are able to afford more (like private school) you can pay for extras.

This is fantastic, seeing the two of you sharing ideas.You ladies Rock!

Oh my gosh! I can't wait to see you two!

Hello ladies !! I really enjoyed your Conversation. I agree with the Idea of government paying for Burials. Please continue with conversations with both of you together. Love you ladies.

This is my FAVORITE video!💯🙌😁

So excited for you two to get together! Thank you two for making this happen!

Love and admire you ladies!!! 🖤

I love watching both of you ...now together!!!!!! Love it!!!

So fun to see you two together!

In an ideal situation, I would have you both take care of my body!!!!!! Love you girls!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Really enjoyed watching the two of you discuss things.

OMG !!!! I freaking love this.... I watch the both of you... in NO PARTICULAR ORDER.... BUT YOU ARE BOTH FANTASTIC

I love see you two together. Best video yet.

I love the collaborations between my two favorite morticians, I hope there will be more of these!

I got so excited that Kari & Caitlin know eachother lol very cool

Thank you both, as a sub to both of you, hearing how you got here and how you'd change things is brilliant!

I love seeing you both together! Wonderful and knowledgeable, I hope you make more videos together!

Enjoyed your show KARI with CATLIN. Had some good ideas and as always both of you explained that things you talked about in clear and kind ways .THANK YOU KARI AND CATLIN. FROM NATALIE IN OHIO.

I love both these women and I’m really pleased to see they are inline with each other! Deferent yet the same!

OK I squealed out loud to see a video with my 2 absolute favorite mortician together 🖤🖤🖤 I definitely need more of this 😍

You two ROCK! Love to hear the possible visions for the future for the industry........at times it can be so sterile and not user friendly so to speak.

Love you both and it’s really great to see you both working together for the good! Such contrasting styles, yet complimentary.

As a long-term deathling, I am shocked - _shocked_ I say! - that the algorithm never sent me your way. Glad to have found ya now - you seem like good ppl and the opposite of 💩! 🖤

This is so incredibly important and awesome, I’m so happy you two are talking about this stuff because it’s definitely making a difference! Much Love to you both and everybody out there! 💙

TED talk for Kari! Just like Caitlyn!

They're awesome. Love them.❤

About something that Cari said... my hubby and I wanted to open a funeral home, go to mortician school .....but before we did that we asked about 30-40 funeral homes in our state and out of state separately to shadow. We got a Hard No, at every turn. We gave up.

Absolutely love that you two did this. You’re both my favorites 🥰

My mom passed in august 2020. The mortician was willing to do whatever, within legal limits, to facilitate our wishes and moms. I had some, and i did tell him it was my idea and my sisters would probably freak. He was very patient with our crazy, dysfunctional family.

Great video. You two are lovely.

When my father-in-law passed, the lividity was so bad that we couldn't show him, the family didn't even view him, the funeral director was wonderful in informing us that 'ya know, closed casket, really don't need to embalm... saving you a lot of money...' The rule of thumb I always heard was if the body is crossing state lines &/or if there is going to be a public viewing, otherwise embalming really isn't needed.

I loved the show. I agree with the things you too came up with. It was so great see you too together. I met Catilin a few years ago. She signed her book for me. Hope to met you Kari. I don't think your face looks like .... you know. Stay healthy and safe.

My brother just passed away in Feb of Covid. And while I was making the arrangements and making calls. I thought of both of you and y’all’s advice. Now y’all are together. Thank you.

I Couldn't name a more iconic duo

You two represent two very different brands of the funeral business. From what little I know about your associations with funeral homes with which you are contracted, I suspect the majority of your clients desire a traditional funeral. Caitlin is in a City where the nontraditional is closer to the norm. To evaluate changes to the industry I feel you have to define the industry by the number of each type of ownership and somehow define the type of ownership as well as the type of customer. For example the customer of Caitlin's vs the customer of Kari's vs the customer of the little funeral director in Buffalo. You have corporate ownership an "community" funeral homes that are the newer homes. Defining the industry is a huge and complicated task but a task worth doing if change can be implemented and managed. I personally, am a traditionalist and plan to be buried in the plot with my parents. I don't know where I would go if I wanted a natural burial. My challenge is having my two disabled sons buried in my" family" plot. Perhaps, Kari you should have funeral director's from each state answer questions about the industry in each state about changes in the industry in that state.

This has been really great thank you for sharing👍🏻

Regarding Caitlin's 2nd point: It would be nice if people could at least take a tax deduction for the basic cremation/burial/casket/embalming portions of the cost of a funeral. If the family chooses to purchase extra services, or if they want an expensive casket then they would assume the extra costs involved.

Love your ideas. Some families need help paying for a basic funeral. 🌹

LOVED DEPARTURES!!!

OOOH! Caitlin! I’m so very interested in Death Doula’s! One or both of you, NEED to do a video about that! (Jodi Picoult’s latest novel, The Book of Two Ways, is about a woman who is a Death Doula, and also an archeologist. It’s fascinating! I hunk there should be MORE Death Doula’s! (And maybe there are and I just don’t know about it!

I am a new subscriber and love your videos! I may be new, but I have watched almost all of your videos! You are so kind and caring! Thank you for what you do.

You guys do well on this subject. Love and light ✨

I agree Caitlin and Kari , with the costs for basic funerals/cremations. The government would probably means test it. Natural burials is a fantastic option. You are both visionaries for such a very important service you both offer at families' vulnerable and emotional time of their lives. Great to see both of you are such great advocates. Shame we see such horrible family rifts at the time of someone's death. I would like my wake be held with the coffin present. It is so sad to hear that Funeral Industry has the Age conflicts as it is in most of the other Industries. The dead wood in the industry needs to either step up and learn or get out. There is a place for the old and new. but mindsets need to be open to progress forward at the same time respecting the traditional. The educational stance you both promote is the best thing that could have happened about death, dying and the industry blocks or progression. Do people ever get buried at night? I have never seen that. Thank you both for doing this segment and I look forward to you both coming together and doing more of these.

What a great video! You two are pretty much on the same page with customer service. Just different directions to do the same thing.

YES! Caitlin! I’m on disability! So when my mom dies, I’m going to have to come up with money, immediately, until my brother gets into town! We have plots up in a cemetery 70 miles away! So I just need to find the casket and vault, and just get her up there! On and I talked about this just the other day. And so Monday, I’m going to call different funeral homes in the area to ask if I can come pick up price lists! Love the two of you!!

Wow, 😯 love learning this… because in the middle ~ around 12:50 ~ man… people don’t realize how truly deep & precious this is; the science and the spirituality behind it,.. truly! I’ll be back…

There is not a license for morticians in Alabama. However, you can get a funeral director license through the Alabama Board of Funeral Service. To do this you will need to earn your high school diploma and complete a funeral director apprenticeship.

thank you!

Seeing the 2 of you together is nothing less than epic! Add Ryan and Bryan, The Grave woman, and Little Miss Funeral and I may pass out! LOL Fantastic video, ladies!

Kari's face is beautiful!

Of all the templates for change you discussed here you embodied one together perfectly - to not just learn to tolerate contrasts within the industry but to respect and enjoy them.

This was so fun to see you together. Interesting and informative conversation. Thank you both so much 😊

You 2 are the real deal

Oh yay!!

Omg it's better than Xmas!

Body can’t cross state line in many states without embalming, Maryland is one of those States. This was my favorite blog.. Ilove you both together...my Death Girls...Yeah...

In the UK the Local authority has the responsibility to see that those who die without family are buried or where the family are on means-tested benefits there are grants to assist with the funeral. This is a development from the responsibility of the ecclesiastical parish of the Church of England to bury the dead of the parish. While the estate of the deceased is used to offset the cost of the funeral, and the government grant covers the burial in the ecclesiastical graveyard or the municipal graveyard or cremation depending on the situation and will of the deceased if known. While the internments often do not have a grave marker but the plot used is recorded and if the family can afford a monument later that is possible. In the case of cremation and the family wanting to scatter or bury the ashes, it is facilitated. In the case when there are no relatives and cremation the ashes are buried in the memorial garden of the crematory. A few local authorities are hard work and do the minimum cost of direct cremation or burial if they have to take charge but most work with the family who is needing support. It is also noticeable that many who die alone in the UK can be linked to military or some form of support services so it is rare for a funeral to be completely unattended even if paid for by the state. UK Funeral directors also often have low-cost plans with the Coop providing an essentials plan for less than £2000 which in some religious communities can include a minister as not all ministers of religion charge.

Just to clarify your community and the government are 2 totally different things. Good conversation! Civil discussion of opposite view points is very important .

I wonder if in all the paperwork that is required in preparing a funeral that the family has to sign, there could be a document that the family could opt for or deny that ALLOWS for their loved one to have a "witness to the embalming" so that people who want to watch could. It seems like this is a field that one would need to experience to know if they could handle it. Also, I think in one of your videos you answered the question of how long does it take and there was like 2 years of basic and then a year of mortuary school, I wish it would be like a trade that one could learn by watching and doing. In the 80's I went to veterinary technician school where we only learned the things that we needed to in the field (like anesthesiology, restraint, anatomy, breeds, parasitology, radiology, and then a summer of externship etc) it was a 2-year program. To get into the program however you needed to have some experience in a vet clinic.