Your time is precious, let no man waste it! 💯 Get your copy of the bestselling book "He's Lying Sis" here 👉 www.heslyingsis.com 👈 this book has been helping women everywhere!
I was paying half before my marriage and after, half for groceries, vacations household bills, he is now my EX HUSBAND🤣🤣🤣🤣 For real though, I had no problem with it
I am so inspired by your channel I just ran across it watching regular videos and you really make things clear I had a lot of changes and I still have a lot of challenges ahead of me emotionally physically and spiritually. I am a mom and a wife and a daughter that I am mostly MOM! I HAVE FOUR TEENAGE SONS TWO THAT ARE AUTISTIC AND I AM NOW ON DISABILITY AND MY HUSBAND HAS ABANDONED THE MARRIAGE THUS I HAVE MOVED IN WITH MY PARENTS BECAUSE IT'S HARD TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF I HAVE SEIZURES I HAVE 15 DOCTORS AND ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT ARE MY FOUR SONS YOU'VE GIVEN ME INSPIRATION TODAY THAT LIFE CAN BE CHANGED AMEN 🙏
Sharing a RED FLAG that I experienced: Dating men who want to "Fast Forward" the sexual side of a relationship, and push "Pause" on making a commitment. Women, stop sharing your body with men who do not love you & commit to you.
@@MeetStephanSpeaks Thanks! I just found your channel and I like your approach. You get to the point and say things women need to hear. Hearing it from a man really helps.
8TH RED FLAG WOMEN SHOULD NEVER IGNORE..........A MAN WHO GETS MAD AT US FOR LISTENING AND PAYING ATTENTION TO STEPHAN'S VIDEOS AND WORDS OF WISDOM....
@@lilmama35810 WHATTTT......ARE YOU HERE FOR ME OR FOR STEPH??...IF YOU HERE FOR ME, DON'T HIDE BEHIND A SYMBOL TO BE HEARD.....IS THIS ABOUT ME OR STEPH
If a man isn’t willing to give your relationship a title, he’s basically telling you that he’s not serious enough to commit to you. Ladies, please don’t sell yourself short and waste your time on men who aren’t willing to honor you and commit to you. You are worth so much more than that
#2 is a huge red flag for me. I’m a big believer that communication is key to a successful relationship. It’s a turn off for me when I’m constantly stonewalled every time I ask a question.
@@kokohottie1669 some people will continue to push back so hard and remain silent. All the while still wearing a mask until you realize it’s not worth fighting for this one-sided situation and just pull away and go find your happiness elsewhere.
@@oneilfarquharson7393 you are so right but anyone is not the person you're looking to love you and spend the rest of your life with I'm an big believer in when anyone start disrespected you walk away but a lot of women now days will stay in a relationship and take the lieing the cheating the disrespect just to keep an man GOD gave everybody common sense but some people don't use It you have a bless day.
As a man, I appreciate you making these videos. I feel you’re very good at uplifting one gender without knocking the other. I also watch the videos you make geared to women because it gives me another perception to help me see my faults
@@MeetStephanSpeaks my pleasure, while I admit I’m not perfect, I will always try to look at ways to try to be better and I feel you’re really trying to help everyone do it
@@wilted_rose510 thank you, we should be giving Stephan credit for the way he presents his content to us. He knows how to be pro woman without being anti guy and he knows how to be pro guy without being anti woman
I,very been married 35 years. When we first met he paid for most dates as I was 19 he 27.. when married he paid the mortgage, car and life insurances. I paid the inside bills. I think that's fair. When 2 people in a relationship one person should not have to pay for everything unless he,s rich, rich. We just went on vacation I paid the flight he paid hotel, shopping and eating. Don,t ever rely 100%on anyone because they can turn on you. Always have your own stash
Absolutely!!!! I agree 100%! Men struggle too and need support as well. Over here in the UK we tend to pay our way. Women pull out their wallets to pay
Physically abusive men will usually abuse you mentally and verbally first to break you down then start putting their hands on you shortly after. So it sometimes goes hand in hand. STAY AWAY from toxic people. These men Can cause long term physical damage in a second. The moment they start putting you down you need to GO don’t risk it 😞
A lot of men deal with a lot of nonsense as well and unfortunately people have been played so much by selfish individuals they have their guard up so high they can’t let someone in.
But in time mess between old. With age they pay attention a.d let go because if you don't you will miss out on a good man and your real blessing. If it is meant to be there should not be so many problems.
Please talk about men that are intimidated or jealous of a woman’s success, money, personality, potential and sees her as competition. It’s definitely a red flag
It's all about boundaries, self worth, and having the courage to walk away from toxicity. These are lessons I learned the hard way, but peace of mind is priceless.
I'm with you on that one. Just felt ready to start dating again after 7 years to find myself again n already this new guy is smothering me. At least I know who I am this time n self worth. Can see this 'relationship' not lasting long. Good luck on your life journey.
When God leads you to watch Stephan's Videos. It's a sign that He wants you to listen, learn and understand the things that u currently need in ur relationship.
I truly have to say that a lot of men need to watch this video because a lot of men don't know where their mistakes are at...me I can speak for myself that I truly love my woman I respect her everyday highly favored to her I love taking care of her spoil her every time give her affection that she needs pay attention to her issues and try to resolve them I take the weight off of her and I deal with them doing the little things that matters to her. Send her love text messages out of the blue just because I love to making her smile. And now I'm planning on making her my wife. These are some of the things that my mother has taught me as a man to respect women how to cherish a woman so I truly believe that a lot of men should watch this video because I think it really help. Thanks Stephan for this great message.
I was with a man who shut me down every time I try to talk about my feelings. He was not willing to listening to me. He told me I was stupid. Everything you said was right that I went through. I really tried to work through it and sweep under the rug. Eventually you can see the hump on the rug.
@Abc Def makes sense. I poor my heart and soul into this man just for my feelings to be put aside. Like I don't matter. But I later figured out that I was not in love with him either, so it was a dead end street for both of us. @Stephan Speaks, I am so grateful for your videos. It really shine some light on my situation.
@Abc Def Amen to that. You are absolutely right. My daddy left me and my sister at a young age. My sister never bonded with my father like that, but I was daddy's little girl. For a long time I long for a man to show me love and affection. Because I felt like I had something missing. But all I really needed was God. God is the father of all. I'm his daughter and I am grateful he saved me from myself. I pray that woman who has that mind set, and find God & build a relationship with him because he is the only way. 🙏🏾
I've been in a relationship for 15 months. We have had a great relationship but I've noticed recently he will express how he feels but when I express my feelings he shuts down and won't talk to me. This is emotional abuse and signs of a narcissist. This just started and I'm ending it. I've addressed it but he tries to ignore the situation instead of communicating. A relationship will not survive without communication.
Super truth! If you can't take proper care of yourself and have a set of standards and goals and the ability to handle and afford yourself...what are you gonna do with someone else?🤣🤣🤣😂
That is soooo true on the 50/50. I offered that early in my last relationship, and he took plenty advantage. He made about 3 times what I made, but was poor with money and had various debts, so most of the time it was more like 60/40 with myself carrying the larger share of all financial burdens because I was much smarter with my money. Created a lot of resentment in the relationship. And lack of security.
True for me,the checking someone’s phone and constantly worrying if he’s cheating on you. Don’t play yourself if God ain’t for it,you gon be constantly stressed about it. Happily single
Avoidance is a red flag. A man saying, we'll see, I don't know, I'll get back with you, or straight up ignoring the question, failing to every return to address the issue or question.
Another way to get a 50/50 split but not look cheap is to have a joint account where each of you deposit the same amount of money on a regular basis . When you go out , Used the card to pay for the dinner/ outing so he looks as if he is taking you out but you just went Dutch
As a man I disagree with this being a red flag.. for example - if a women randomly brings up a vacation / get away idea that would obviously cost money and time away from work & the women wants an answer immediately... for the man to say "maybe" or "we'll see" could just mean he's mapping it out financially aka being responsible.
@@MrMistajone Yes, and that's fine but at least communicate the financial or plans needed. As grown adults, we know resources and commitments have to be considered. But 'soon' doesn't provide a plan of action!
It is so sad that I am having to watch this stuff at 42 years old. I finally walked away after 18 years of most of these things. Please people, if this stuff is happening..do not waste your life away thinking it will get better. It never does.
"A man that loves you will want to give you clarity and peace". Men are very intentional and strategic when approaching a woman, him not giving her a title just proves he is not that into her. He won't mind causing frustration and confusion for her. Even "going with the flow" vibe has a destination, things will have to end up somewhere so if he's not reassuring her, he doesn't have good intentions or a plan for the woman.
@@nofybn7794 Yes, it doesn't. I just meant that something that is flowing does end up somewhere. Think of a ball rolling, it goes with the flow of the landscape so it will end up somewhere. So going with the flow has to eventually end up somewhere. When there are no intentions stated from the beginning, that's going with the flow. I hope I make sense 😬
Thank you... this clown am with went two days straight without no affection at all thinking I was a fish and wasn't going to notice. Am past caring atm. Respect first before love any day. .
My boyfriend never understood what I felt and what I wanted. Although he is a nice guy and I never wanted to leave him. But, I had some expectations. I even played question games like Lovify. And, it did help us understand each other better. I also got to know his expectations. It brought us closer. Now, we are trying to open up about topics we previously avoided 💗💗
Some men are busy trying to get in your clothes, like they are fashion designer but not interested in anything else ladies wake up and 🏃🏽♀️🏃🏽♀️🏃🏽♀️ as fast as you can📖✏️
Thank you for this clarity! I think we women can get so infatuated with a guy that we ignore the red flags...hoping against hope the he will change. But truth is truth. Ladies, stand your ground on being respected and cherished.
True love never dies, I know a Dr baba who can help you get your ex or crush back,he can also help you with anything you desire,If you need his help,contact him on Whats-App via his number below
I am in a relationship and I make a lot more. My lady has 4 kids (3 by 1 man who pay no child support or do for his kids but he claims on child on his taxes) The other father pays child support but he isn't in his daughter's life. I say all this because I foot the big Bill and she pays less but to help her , I ask to pay half sometimes, in my thoughts she dont get help from the father ,so, I ask to pay half as to give her a break and me not having to foot all of - considering she don't have him on child support, am I wrong for that?
If u can't communicate, if your inconsistent if you give and don't receive, if u feel left confused, it's not up to you to fix, it's up to you to value yourself enough to let go and self love to find happiness in yourself. We can't change ppl and shouldn't try. Not our lessons to keep enabling bad habits. Be the queen and have that self respect.
Communication really is important. Trust me...i was shut down and made to feel stupid any time i wanted to express my feelings...it made me feel lower than dirt. and when you love someone with all your heart and they make you feel that way...it hurts worse than anything i can describe. Have you tried to tell someone youre depressed, and sobbed and you just wanted a hug to feel loved and comforted, and he turns to you and says "Ugh give me a fucking break!" ...god...it just makes you wanna die. It stays with you. Never again did i open up to anyone else or to him ever again.
So sorry. Been through the same. Asked my boyfriend for a hug and he said i should look for him if i really want it. This is after he shared his day's program without addressing my need for that hug.
@@thatway1784 especially if you have kids. If they grow up around abuse, especially between the ages of 0-5, the boys tend to become abusive as well when they grow up and the girls tend to choose abusive partners. They're just repeating the cycle of what they've been exposed to.
I've been in a 30 year relationship where my husband fits four of these things (50/50, doesn't listen, verbally & mentally abusive and doesn't meet my needs). After doing pros and cons, and stumbling across this video, I'M OUT! Thanks for confirmation.
I hope that you confronted him about his ways and at least given him a chance to change or not because no one can fix what they don't know is broken. If you're a church goer then I hope that you have tried married counseling with your pastor? if you haven't then at least therapy. I hope that your marriage can be saved. And it can if both parties are willing to do the necessary work. Best wishes to you and I hope that it all works out for your good.
My husband tried to end my life twice I was not going to make it three times I had not seen him in over a decade he tried to get me back I said HELL NOOOOOOOOOO I love ❤️ my life….REAL TALK 2021
We were dating for a month, had 3-4 dates. We almost net everyday and he said he ain't seeing anyone else. I asked him I don't wanna be friends with benefits and want a title. After that things went south, he said he can't trust, he wants to know if we sexually compatible. I do miss him, but I had to let him go as he started gaslighting me just one month in the dating time. Idk if it was too soon to ask for commitment but I didn't wanna have sex with someone who is not mine
if he wanted sex that soon..its not too soon for you to say what you wanted, so you don't waste your time or his.the one that truly want to get to know you and be with you will understand that..next time you meet a guy..just let them know from beginning, we can be friends first then see were it goes from there..alot of people just jump right in before getting to know each other... Let a person know how u feel and what you want in any kind of relationship.
leave him alone. If a man is gets sn attitude and maked you feel guilty about your expectations or standards, you need to cut him off before you start catching feelings. You would have been hurt worst, if you slept with him, then he leaves you. Know your worth and set your standards. If he's not on the same page, leave him alone. Your not his wife why he gets wife benefits? Just saying
You asked for commitment way too fast. You have to put yourself in his shoes, if he was a solid person and mentally stable, he definitely asked himself why is she rushing for a commitment so fast. What does she have to hide, going fast it's a red flag. One month is way to short of a time. Just keeping it 💯 with you! And you stated you miss him, he couldn't been that bad for you to miss him but you only know him for a month.
I went through this. I would say something, he would say I was disrespecting him often bc it caught him a certain way. Especially if he tried to state it as facts and I could refute it.
Red flag: ignoring your partner when they're trying to communicate. If you ignore someone because you're processing emotions or information, just tell them you need space or time. However, deliberately withholding communication as a power play borders on emotional abuse. Passive-aggressive or inconsistent behavior is hurtful and will cause harm, both in the current and possible future relationships.
@@thebestthinginmylife6205 sending love and light. Do what's best for your soul sweetie. Your worth it. You are worthy. You are enough. You are strong. You've got this🤗💞🙏
Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries, ladies. And never think in the beginning that he is shy bc of drinking too much, badly treated in an earlier relationship or by his parents or in need to some “education”.
This was amazing! Had to break off my 6 month relationship. My bf couldn’t seem to communicate well with me. It was hard because he would always put it back on me. I set boundaries and he never truly respected them. I was not being heard. For me…I Let go!
#7 is the silent killer. It’s not always blatant “negligence”.. it comes on slowly but then all of a sudden you’re not a priority. You realize you’re always putting in effort and he’s not giving any. It sucks. But overall this video is so important and well explained. Boys and girls take note!
Just left a 16 year marriage for this very reason(actually 1 of many) but it slowly kills a relationship until one day you wake up and you’re complete strangers.
I have been experiencing #7. Intimacy is there, but affection has always been one sided. With affection/touch being a major love language of mine it is very hurtful and makes me feel unloved. This isn't the only issue but definitely a big issue.
I’m about to leave my boyfriend of 9 years. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. 😢 Stephan.. you are a God send to me! I’m listening to your videos & reading your books. Thank you for helping so many people like me.
@@christinanataliapuspita8526 Wow! Are you psychic? Lol I just told him tonight! It’s been such an emotional night. I move to Tennessee in a month. Already have a place to live even. I’m doing it!! He’s very upset & emotional. But I’ve been upset for years about our ‘relationship’ and he’s had so long to really commit to me. I should’ve left a long time ago. I’m very sad but know there’s a light at the end of this tunnel. Thank you for asking!! 😊
@@onerationallady2661 I imagine it's hard.. I hope you the best... I just wanted to know how the video relate to real case relationship, that's why I'm asking.. if you don't mind, may I ask about what things make you upset for so long in the relationship?
Verbal abuse,Physical abuse, mental abuse, financial abuse and sexual abuse all come under control and domestic violence. Domestic violence helplines help with all these situations. Stephan is right all are soul destroying
@@lorettasarro7873 Hello Lori. Do you mind me asking what country you live in? I’d love to be of help in any way I can. Have you tried to call the help lines? I know your experience.
I was married to a man who stayed in his bed and slept while my mom was taken to the ER and admitted to hospital. I stayed at the hospital all night and he never called once to see how she was doing. Needless to say, we are now divorced. Should have divorced him sooner....
Barbra, you can’t expect your husband to live your mother. Most of us men hate mother in laws. Why couldn’t you let the man be happy that your mom was in the er? You be the sad one. What good is it if both people are sad and useless?
Going unheard in a relationship is so much torture that’s why I would be very reluctant to enter a commitment with a person where there is very limited opportunity, if any, to be heard.
I've recently ended a relationship where a guy I was seeing was earning 3x more than me and discovered he couldn't make positive financial decisions. There are so many red flags in men. Wanting to constantly message/call, checking up on you. Makes you feel wanted at first but you quickly realise it's actually an obsession. Needing constant reassurance & validation. Making it all about themselves. Pretending to have health issues so you feel sorry for them, needing that care from you. The moment he realised I was dead end, he switched off. I am so glad I came across these videos, I am doing a bit of a research and study on my behaviours and why I always attract toxic men. I want to focus on myself for a while and to heal from these experiences. We all deserve to be loved and respected. Not going to settle for any less, ever again 💯
@@heatherfulmore3412 you just need time to heal. When we have too much anger and hurt within ourselves, we feel like we don't want to try again. But everyone deserves to be loved and respected. The issue is that we allow too much in relationships and we ignore red flags. Give it some time, there is someone out there for you, never give up! You've got this 👍🏻
Great video and great points. I agree with all of your 7 red flags, and would like to add perhaps #8 for believers. A man who does not have God in his life or place any value on spiritual and moral development is a big red flag. As he cannot lead the relationship without God and his moral character cannot develop into a Godly man. Red flags are indications that more problems will increase if you stay, toxicity breeds negative energy. Thank you for the video. Be blessed,always.
So true, sista. I left my husband after 2 years..there was no spiritual connection. He claimed to be a man of God...go figure. God, in so many words, told me we were unequally yoked. I am happy and at peace now. Thank God!!!🙌🙌🙏
Oh so true. I wasn't very Godly in my last relationship because he would put down my belief. I got sucked into it, and had a breakdown because of my loss of connection with God. Now I will only date a man who had a spiritual foundation.
You're right, Stephan. Dated an emotionally broken man who wouldnt put a title on the relationship but insisted he loved his ex and that we were NOT in a relationship, however he refused to let me go. He'd chase me down if I even thought of leaving so it became a 5 year long battle and he still hasnt stopped although I stopped seeing him 2 years ago. He almost cost me my life, I went into an autoimmune episode and had heartfailiure as a complication from the emotional stress. It was like dating a demon.
@@conniegrant6381 Yeah I went right into another abusive relationship after this one and am now in therapy. Turns out he suffered from schizophrenia and covert psychopathy. The guy after him only from antisocial personality disorder so psychopathy and he is ten times nicer but still an ass. It was still a good thing though because I learned so much about human pscyhology and about my own patterns and why so it gained me in the end. And after taking big doses of vitamin D, that too helped tons for my autoimmune disorder.
If a man have to hide you, then he's hiding something or he's ashamed of you. A man is Supposed to provide and make sure that woman is safe with him. Thanks Stephen
Red flag number one: 50/50 men! Never waste your time with a man who can’t be bothered to take care of the dinner tab. All men over the age of 30 know this if they have been raised correctly with manners. We are not asking for a Gucci spending spree, a brand new car, a lavish vacation or asking the man to pay my rent/utilities (although there are women who do that). This is a dinner tab. If he can’t meet that bare minimum, run for the hills. He’s either a penny pincher (and you’re getting a glimpse of what your relationship/marriage with him will look like) or he’s not very serious about you. Both are not good signs.
As a woman another red flag is when you don't feel the connection with the guy. You do not have to think hard to force yourself to lik a man you don't fancy.
I once left everything behind to go to another country with a man that I fell in love with. I was making 400 euro / month and he made 6k euro. I did all the house work (cleaning, cooking, laundry etc) and he once told me he was angry because since I moved in with him, he spent more money cause now it’s food for two that he had to buy and he was always the one paying for restaurant bills. I could not believe that! What about all the sacrifices I made to be with him, the things I left behind and even how much I made in my job compared to what he made in his? So for christmas dinner he took me to this fancy restaurant in Paris where he drank and ate a lot, ordered dessert etc and when the bill came I said “I got it”. So I opened my wallet and started picking 5 and 10 euro banknotes together with coins to pay for that expensive dinner of his and he got so embarrassed, the waiter was embarrassed, but I was so angry I counted each and every coin really slowly cause I wanted him to understand how ridiculous that was. He later apologized and said he felt really bad for letting me paying for it. He never let me pay for a restaurant bill again. He was still an asshole but at least I could save some money haha
Try this on for size. A man who lives with his mom, never takes you out to eat, has a job as a pizza delivery person, does not want to get a higher paying job and spends all his money on racing and owning remote control cars, that is called walk away!!!
@@unseenseraph1069 that is OK, that was 20 yrs. ago and I also realized he is a mommy's boy and I will not tolerate that, so I walked away and now I am in a much better place!!! Thanks though.
Another red flag that I have experienced is when a man refuses to put you on his social media or post pictures of each other or even worse, say they “don’t have social media” and come to find out they do and are hiding another girlfriend or many women
So true, peculiarly recently a situation with a guy never put his face on FB and we never had a pic of us together. I only see now that this is “red flag” and yes likely to be hiding partner/girlfriends/wife
Yup. I can go further... what about when a new man constantly states that he doesn’t use social media and mentions how social media breaks up families. Then when I told him that I don’t use social media either, he refuses to believe me and randomly asks for my Facebook or Instagram. It’s kinda funny actually.
Thank you for mentioning verbal abuse and how it can severely impact individuals. Not to downplay physical abuse, but verbal abuse can and does stay with you long after a relationship ends. Together three years, broke up a year ago, and he is still in my head!😰🤯 Also; giving a title to a relationship and being able to communicate about issues. I was made to feel like why was I bringing this up again?! Because he always shut me down! I stumbled upon your videos and they are a blessing!
We as women need to focus on our self worth In knowing and truly believing in what we deserve in our relationships, we will stop settling for the bare minimum for the sake of having or just being in a relationship Learning to tap into our intuitions more we will learn to embrace and feel what our gut is truly telling us to know if we should even be entertaining a relationship we know GOD did not intend for us to be in
All men not the same their are good men out here n Also some will treat you like a queen , feel important , also show you actions . It ‘ s simple thing keep a woman first show actions by doing little things !
We should understand as women that we should be secure in who we are. Also, that we’re the prize in the relationship. The Bible verse Proverbs 18:22 “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.”
I was in a violent relationship in my younger years who took all my money and looked for jobs for me whilst he didn't work. He was not a strong man in my eyes. Years on I have healed.
I should had listen to this during the dating stage cause after the fact i realized he isn't capable 😂 in fact he asked me for money numerous of times 😒 and yes i done paid his bills in full. Done paid for his down payment for his new 2019 car (3500). Mind u, he makes wayyyyyyyy more money then i do! Great career 😒
That’s the new mantra for 2021 dating. I read a post and so many women were ok with that. Telling other women they were entitled and selfish for disagreeing with this mindset.
Something that needs to be said... I blame society for a lot of these issues. We have downgraded our self worth so much that we now except less than what we deserve on a regular basis. Men and women in general need to learn to expect MORE from their significant others. Nowadays, it’s so easy to just navigate from one relationship to the next because so many are so willing to put up with less effort so we don’t have to be alone.
Yessss💯I’m 24 I’m still learning but at least someone feels me but it a lot that’s not talk about that I had to learn the hard way or n the street n it’s sad
It's not society's fault. We're all the society. It's blaming others and being irresponsible. People don't learn when they blame others. Own your mistakes, learn, and move tf on!
You hit on so much truth.. I was with a man that came in saying I got this or that...I gave up a house to move in with him...I only make 20000 year at max... He said I got the bills u got the house...but a soon as I got an 8.7 increase of income he wants me to pay for the half the rent...which would leave me 100 dollars for myself a month to cover my needs n he doesn't give me money n I don't ask him for anything..I cook clean whatever needs to be done in the home... It made me feel like fool for moving in with him
A simple but huge red flag is if you don’t feel that connection. If that connection is not there then that is unlikely the man God has ordained for you which essentially means that the relationship will never be all that it can and should be for your life and purpose. Fantastic video Stephan ❤️
One man I dated before told the waitress to split the bill. I was surprised as much as the waitress. She looked at me in the way like ‘for real???’ cuz surely she knew just by looking at us the whole evening that we are on a date. Then I gave her confirmation and told her what I ate and drank. After we paid, she gave me a look before walking away like ‘dump him please’. After that evening, he wanted to meet me again and kept asking for 2nd date. I gave him one last chance and of course he didn’t know that. This time he picked me up and tried to impress me how he dressed up. We were at another restaurant for lunch and again the bill came, he immediately told the waitress to split the bill. You gotta see the waitress’s face and eyes. She was surprised then rolled her eyes and I almost laughed cuz that was what I knew that it will come. I told her what belong to me and gave her tips. Before she walked away, she looked at me and her eyes clearly said ‘run, girl!’. After he dropped me off, my friends called me and asked only one question, “ Did he pay?” (They knew what happened and couldn’t wait to know how he acted this time). Since that day, I cut this man out of my life. He kept texting me and calling me but I have never replied.
That sucks but what you could have done differently was tell him your concerns. Yes he should have known better but it could have been something he thought you may have wanted... to be treated equally. I've had guys actually tell me that. That there's videos out there or even women in their lives that say they want to be treated equally. Which in a mans mind can mean 50/50 or half on everything. Yours was a scenario where communication should have taken place on both you guys part but especially yours since you had an issue with it and if he was just cheap then walk away but if it was the situation I mentioned then ya'll would discuss it and take it from there
Please do a video on emotional abuse. Some of us women do not realize we are being emotionally abused until some kind of damage is done. Like when a partner goes quiet on you for so long and later comes back and blames you for something you were not aware about or did not think was an issue. Or even after apologizing about a mistake.
Dealing with that now. Verbal,emotional,financial, even throwing stuff at me. I am completely torn up inside. I never knew this was another part of domestic violence. Sad thing is my kids think it's okay to treat me the same way
#4: “when he gets verbally or physically abusive. “ 😞 Oh gees. Not to mention the emotional, spiritual and psychological abuse. That’s even worse than physical abuse.
Agree him asking you to split the bill on a date is a red flag. I would never go on another date with a man again if he did that! In the relationship faze if you start splitting finances it’s a different story.
When I went on a date with my husband and the check came the waitress sat in in front of me and she was a woman! He slipped it to himself and said to her change your mindset sister.
Stephan you are so on point! I wasted almost 15 years in a marriage with a man that emitted several of these red flags. I ignored them for so long, until I found out about his serial cheating. That was the final straw for me. Have been free from that for 10 years and happier, but now my 22 year old daughter is making the same mistake having rushed into a relationship, that’s turning out to be very toxic. She’s seen the red flags, names them, cries out to me, but then chooses to ignore the same red flags. A lot of gaslighting going on. She refuses to listen to me and has now stopped speaking to me. All I can do is pray.
I can understand you daughter’s standpoint and why she’s ignoring the red flags to keep staying in the toxic relationship. I’ve been in the same situation as her, trying to convince myself and ignore warnings from others no matter what. It was because I thought the relationship was God-given, and there were many coincidences that my ex and I both thought were signs from God. When I saw the red flags in him, I always try to convince myself that if this is the one God brings to me, I can change him, through God and through prayers. But the thing is you can only change a person if they know they are wrong. If they think they’re right with what they’re doing, good luck trying to change them. God changed the hearts of many really bad sinners, but that’s only when they asked Him to do so. God can’t turn his creature into a robot and suddenly change them when they don’t want to. Also, if you look at nature, you will see that there’s no way a dog can become a cat, or an olive tree can become a a fig tree. So if it’s a person’s nature, in other words, they see what they’re doing as normal and right, you can’t change them. Another thing to keep in mind, especially in relationships, is that sometimes there is no right or wrong person. You two may just be incompatible. If you’re a cat, don’t force yourself to become like a dog and marry a dog. It just doesn’t work no matter what. Hope your daughter can see this message. Let her know that I have been in her situation, and now that I’ve just gotten out of it, I have seen things much clearer, and have become myself again. If she’s confused now about God’s will in her relationship, tell her that she will feel like God has opened her eyes once she gets out of it. That’s what I’ve experienced, very clearly and deeply.
Leave her she will learn the hard way just be there to comfort her but don't forget to tell her you warned her,I use to listen to my daughter give the best advice and she took none!what I did when I see she messing up is remind her of what she showed me and how I should love myself and don't allow nobody to use and abuse me that always gets her.
Tell her don’t get pregnant and his true self will come out without distractions. Baby’s are an excuse to keep trash in your life And man child likes that
#4- Ouch..Unfortunately it is so easy to excuse verbal/emotional abuse but the day comes where the hurt builds up to a point where being in the relationship hurts more than the possibility of being alone.
16:37 really spoke to me. Just left a situation like this and glad I did. Sometimes our desire to just “be” with someone can affect us negatively especially when we know we’re pretending we’re okay but settling for less. Do yourself a favor ladies, if he’s purposely not trying to claim you, stop wasting your time and let it go.
i Have Done the Same, just Stepped Out, and it has been the HARDEST THING, that I have ever done, with a Relationship. He Stole every it of my Self Confidence & Self Esteem, + My TRUST. I TRUST NOBODY, other than my Best Friend Anymore & She tells Me, that I did the Rite Thing. (She Didn't Like Him, from the Start, always said that He was a " PRETTY BOY, WANNA BE) & SHE WAS RIGHT. HE WAS.
Hit the nail on the head with all the red flags. Those signs are indicating that your partner is just not serious about you.Great video Stephan. Stay blessed!
Run, DON'T WALK, away from any partner unwilling to respect you. THEY DON'T LOVE YOU. I'm having to rebuild my entire life because I allowed years of disrespect from a person I now understand is a fake, wounded little person who's comfortable with devaluing the people they said they love most. Don't waste your life with an unworthy partner, they will deplete your joy. You deserve better.
Thank you Stephan. I refuse to settle and will remain single until the man that God has for me shows up. In the meantime I am taking heed and listening to my relationship Coach 👏💕👏
I appreciate what you're trying to do, and some of what you say in your videos have been my experience, however I feel compelled to comment on two things. You say that you should find out if you can communicate with the person during dating without being shut down. Dating couples cannot find out everything during the dating stage that they need to know to make a decision on whether they can make it official, and not even then either. I think it is highly unlikely to happen when they are on their "best behaviour", and trying to impress each other. Also people will see the red flags littered throughout and still ignore them, when they should at least discuss them with someone they can trust. Maybe then they would be more likely to shut that relationship down. It worked for me before in a previous relationship.
