7 Things No Programmer Ever Wants to Hear 

Vindicated. You are a Godsend

Doing God's work

But did you add the recepie

Legend.

Huge kudos to you!

This sounds so personal i love it.

And gonna call you at 10 pm to fix something, ask you to leave your sick kid, comment every post in your social media, question your personal life

Pretty accurate))

@@dhupee Bro that's fucked up💀I hope it's just a joke

@@stickguy9109 same💀

How? Is it only tutorial?

Walk away whistling 😅

Yea, so don't look into gpt, text to speech things or cloud services in general, cause if your card ends up there... there is a 100 % guarantee that you will end up somehow with a bill for something you never wanted.

The Adventure of Bezos's Evader

You absolute Chad. Nice work.

Yandev code

@@shinhook2k280 Hahaha that's what I call it too XD

@@spiritretro3571 because that would imply the person who wrote the code had a lick of knowledge about programming. I saw this shit too in a c++ class I joined and I couldn’t stop laughing at the guy when I was reviewing his code. I asked him how long he took and he said “2 hours” and I proceeded to shorten his 100 use cases to about 6-10 lines of code within 5 minutes. Basically just pick up a book and read it through or your life will be hell.

tolower???? Wtf man why???

As well as ToLower as others have mentioned, couldn't they have used Switch/Case/Break as well? I'm a hobby programmer and don't use that at all, but 5 seconds of googling told me how to use that in JS. Good Lord.

Some stuff can't be planned. I'm not a fan of management cults either.

@ghost mall most "agile" is just waterfall rebranded

one of the core principle of agile is to be adaptable and should evolve with time and experience, where as almost all company practicing agile use a super hard rigid super unchangeable agile system/framework

Waterfall or plan driven development.

Sprint planning/ Kanbqn Boards, Burndown charts, User stories, product backlog refinement, how are you not planning when your Agile?

So true... Though you can't really use them as much during development, constant compiling and all that stuff so there are also tools aiming to recreate environments without co tainers...

"It works on my container"

@@shapelessed if you've written the dockerfile in a right way, as in the entire setup of environment happens before any frequently changing code is copied, creating newer image is pretty quick since it can reuse all the layers from previous versions while changing only the code

"This container doesn't work!" - The guy using Windows

@@MrAlanCristhian Great, we can just put your container into prod.

Or “Closing. Possible duplicate of…” only to find out that the two threads are not remotely similar.

yeah, thats my biggest pet peeve on stackoverflow. idk why they are so obsessed with "possible duplicates"... @@TKollaKid

Way worse than just finding an open question from 12 years ago with no answer at all. There's a known fix, but you'll never know what it was until you bash your forehead against the problem long enough.

This is terrible

Thanks boss! I typed my resumé and resignation in under an hour! Look, I even used the é !

@@LabGecko😂

Which is helpful to type a new job application for a better company.

What code looks like to non-programmers: /** * Codes the code by coding code with code. * By coding code it codes code that codes coders code. * Coders code codes code that codes coding code that coders code. */ code Code code Code { Code code = Code; Code code = "code"; code code[] code = code code[code]; code code code() { code(code code = code; code < code.code; code++) { code[code] = code } code code; } }

This is so true 😄

Can 100% relate!

wow, ad hoc standups... that's some hardcore agile shit right there! 😁

LOL yep

I just start my work with the stand up ez win

i hope my scrum master does this lol

That's insanely quick response from ur boss, my boss ain't even participating in standups

That’s the dream

Stand-ups shouldn't have non developers to start with. It's not meant as a status update.

When a developer says "same as tomorrow" it's a bad smell. XP coach (or Scrum master) has to wake up and reject that. The dev has to say what he has done since yesterday ; if he is stuck, he should speak loud for help, instead of waiting for a solution to pop out magically

Honestly the owner was responsible from what you say. At the end of the day, for live code not to crash the people at the top either need to understand it or they need to have hired a team of actual experts. If it's one programmer at a time in the company, the owner and the programmer need to be one and the same.

@@traveller23e I hear what you are saying, but this was a *very* small company and the owner knew nothing about programming, which is probably why the original programmer was hired despite obviously--to other coders--not knowing what he was doing. In other words, the guy I replaced conned the owner into hiring him, 'faked it til he made it', and left before the barely-working and utterly unmaintainable mess he had made blew up.

@@KeithOlson Interesting that he came back though to fix the mess he'd made. I wonder if there was some personal tie.

@@traveller23e No, the owner made it plain that he had to pay a *LOT* of money to get the guy to come back to deal with the mess.

@@KeithOlson That's on the owner for letting a shitty programmer take advantage of them. Sorry you got caught in the middle, but none of that was your fault.

Suffering through this right now :( the pain

Just charge per hour. 1 hour min per request/ticket, that way don't bug you one little thing at a time. If it takes 5 min they still getting charged an hour

Stay away from the client who say I have lot of work for you too since they are only boning you to get a lot of shit done for free.

@@flamehiro How exactly does that work? If the client asks how much to make a website or something and I say like $100/hour, how do they know if they're paying the dev $ 1000 bucks or $ 10.000?

​@@lCebolitosl yep, that is a huge problem too because programmers also can be jackasses with this

Do we work together lol?

I'm not sure if it worse when it your codebase or someone else's. Our outfit always falls victim to the "just need a one off real quick." Ok, so no plans to build it out further, fine, quick and dirty solution, there ya go. "hey, that worked so well can you just add this one more thing on it and that will be fine, but need it like today." Fine, real quick here it is. "hey, can you integrate x and y with it, that would be great." At which point you start staying, it sounds like the scope creep is ramping up here and this isn't a one off, we should probably scrap it, plan it, and build it out as a permanent, extensible solution. That will take a couple weeks, otherwise we are going to get trapped into tech debt if this thing keeps evolving. "nah, just slap some glue and duct tape so we can have it tomorrow, this is probably the last changes we will make. If we want to do more we will rebuild it." Ok, you want more, now we need to rebuild it right but we're into a month now. "ooo, that won't work, we need this new feature in a couple days" Rinse and repeat for years is how you get a legacy monstrosity even with best intentions. Moral of the the story is assuming your standalone helper tool will eventually morph into the recreation of Salesforce and SAP 😂

This project will ONLY run for 3 months ....... 9 years later. Can you add new features to it....NO. It is not only my own code that needs updating, but also all the libraries are outdated and will give conflicts and some libraries are not even updated for the last 3 years. Better to start all over then try to migrate it. But somehow there is never a budget for that. And then they pass it over to the next victim who thinks the original programmer is an idiot, not knowing this code was made in a different era.

@@HartleySan “this is the most profound comment I’ve ever written” is a _powerful_ opener

@@IanZWhite00 I don't even recall writing that comment. Plus, the grammar was bad. I'm wondering if my account got hacked.

Right? Like a merge conflict ain't shit. Maybe to someone new it is daunting, not knowing what to keep or cut. Or understanding that some.functionality may have changed as a result of the merge and it's gonna take a little more time to pull together and get things working again. But that's the job..

@@ferd1775 If you're not pulling it's on you

Same. Just Tried to get EAC to work on my device, re-installed, moved files, edited a script, nothing.

even worse is that you finally find an answer that looks like it might work, only for it to not work at all

@@almicc this is bringing up too much past trauma 😭

omg same

@@Whynot83848 same same :((( only i have like 5 projects at once xd and a fulltime job. Why is it so hard to say NO to people xd

Lately my body has developed a defense mechanism where when anyone is excited to see me I projectile vomit on them before they can ask me to do something for them.

@@makokx7063 projectile emotion

Recently, i just started to tell eveyone that i don't do web/mobile development anymore because is too hard

If you add mysteriously it explains death in service benefit

i had even the same problem, was intern was told to learned angular 1 for month and then was ask to migrate old site to angular 6 with short deadline. like bro i don't even know angular 2 yet.

@@rushyscoper1651 Code is code, it's all pretty much the same. Is it not?

​@@JasonLaneZardoz lol migrating codebase is a headache bro

@@lolololo-cx4dp Sometimes, especially if you incur loads of tech debt.

ASAP is actually my preferred deadline because I am free to call their bullshit by interpreting it in the most literal sense. My immediate answer is: "As soon as possible, okay. I am fully booked for the foreseeable future. Best shot is in 2 months. But no guarantee. And of course it will get delayed if an emergency comes in the meantime. If you want it earlier, give me an actual date and I'll see 1. if it's feasible and 2. what I will have to postpone to make room for it." And feel free to add unreasonable extra delay based on the lack of information to make it clear that by failing to give you all the info required they are slowing your work and penalizing themselves. You can't have your bosses and clients respect your precious time if you disrespect it yourself by accepting all kinds of abusive requests.

Yeah if he wants to work outside then go do construction management. Engineers stay inside.

fr fr

And whoever implemented the detection system are a bunch of apes.

Yes it was real

Yep, 100% real.

Just laughed my fucking ass of after seeing this. Probably the best content I've see in quite some time.

thats why in agile you let the product owner make a change request ticket, then u analyze the task (and charge for the analyzis) together with the other requests, where you then say this ticket will take estimated 20 hours to implement, and let the PO decide if he still needs this small change.

Joke aside, I'm curious about what you like better or less now compared to your previous job; what led you to change?

Same I'm also curious

Yep definitely, civil engineering is all about deadlines that cannot be held and having to work with people who are totally stressed because of that. Also people who make unreasonable demands because of those deadlines or you have been forced into some contract and you have to pay money for every day of delay because of that. In addition there are a lot of people who are not competent enough so you end up fixing other peoples mistakes a lot, which causes you to be late and then you have to take all the blame for some reason.

Thanks for this comment akram.

@@qbicc6381 Sounds exactly like software engineering, and I assume most other kinds of engineering for large faceless corporations

"when non-tech people have enough leverage at a company to drive technical based decisions" I hate this one specially. The non-tech guy makes some dumb decision that you know will cause major issues later down the line, but no one cares because you will be the one to fix it later on anyway...

a bad manager amplifies it

@@U20E0 Damn. You guys literally reiterated what i said a long time ago )) "A good product manager solves the problems, a bad one generates them" ))

And the good are so rare

I've experienced both the good and bad ones, and I have a genuinely deep appreciation for good product managers.

Wait good PMs exist?

thats annoying, how about you try to teach some of your friends how to code so that they have a little more respect lol if you were a physicist and you sat around writing papers all day, I doubt they would devalue your work, seems like a SE thing to me

Doctors just sit around and pump you with meds till they work. You can oversimplify any job lol

@@Viqtor Oh yeah. I exaggerated for comic effect, but only a little. My daughter actually said "I feel like your job really isn't that hard", mustering all the authority of a couple of beginner coding tutorials under her belt. Sigh. :-)

Start talking to them about space and time complexity of the Algorithm you are working on and briefly explain why it uses linear over Quadratic time and how it's represented using Big'O notation. Then watch there brains fizz up and watch the respect for the job you do increase. 😁

Upvote for "point of friend", hah

Fix it, Two other things break.

@@aeureus daily life of a programmer.

@@the_great_9880 *cries in c#*

@@aeureus i use c# too, love it.

Ah yes, the ultimate debugging technique. Change random stuff and re-run it until it works

This is so relatable it’s crazy. Shipping worse code AND they’re more expensive

And it's been online for years. And then you ask yourself: Are you going to solve it even though no one else ever solved it, or are you going to do it completely differently, probably like the other person did?

@@DerMichael The answer is more often than not the latter.

i do forge modding for 1.8, and sometimes some guy has the exact same problem i have, but they closed it because it's too old. it's truly a pita to go off like basically only the javadocs but you find a way ig

my poor scrum master recently resorted to writing a SO post, and no replies yet :(

Or when the result is on some chinese fourm, you just gotta read the code snippets or translate the thing if you still don't understand lol

I’d probably go to a monastic order too if I was expected to migrate something like that lol. My condolences

Lol, that's not an upgrade but a rewrite in a new Framework

Lua is not an acronym

You where working on an open Tibia Server by any chance?

I’ve experienced a similar problem when I was coding javascript and checked the console on chrome, didn’t give any errors, but firefox dev edition showed the issue and helped me a lot

just revert ur master branch in vcs and rebuild, and bill the client for the hours wasted putting the navbar on the side. ez

Lmao why

@@freezone7930Do you have any idea how less civil engineers are paid for all the work they have to do in field?

I'm a civil engineer that transitioned into tech. 🤣

@@marktimothyadvento6305 which tech job specifically if i may ask? I'm 18 and aspiring to become a software engineer/dev but unsure if it's the right career, this video scared me, but seeing all the comments saying they preferred tech over civil engineering is reassuring.

​@@helmetboyHD I'm a full stack engineer currently. I reached the pinacle of civil engineering construction management career as Sr. Project Manager and President before transitioning. The interviews are an uphill battle since they don't want to take chance on someone that reached something so high as a jr. software engineer. No regrets here. I am about to reach six months in my current job and loving every second of it.

Hahaha yeah, I also left some service running (forgot which one, it was 2 years ago). Plan was to use it for 3 hours for the price of 3$/h, but remembered 15 days later 😂. After some crying in the messages, they forgave it all. Learned the hard way how important it is to set billing alerts.

My worst experience (so far) was spending several hours going over code to find why it was hanging, figuring out that it was a really stupid mistake, and then realizing that the whole part of the code was useless and there was a much better way of doing it already in a library that I had installed.

And sanitize the damn input.

how long did it take you ( or are you still working on it)

This video edit speaks for itself

Yea it was funny, and tbh I wasn’t even expecting this picture in this video😂

I program for 8 years and never had a similar problem, you can always avoid/solve them

I'm not even a programmer and I've run into this issue because it's getting harder to run older games on newer computers.

@@BimmWPBS try running them in compatibility mode for the windows version they were made for

I tell people it's like writing a ten page college essay - in mathematics - and a single mistake in your ten page math essay causes the entire thing to not work. "Can you reliably produce ten page math essays, without so much as a single mistake? No? Then you understand my pain. Now leave my office, MORTAL!"

​@@arthurwintersight7868 "ten page college essay in mathematics" is the best analogy I have ever heard for coding 😂 Will be using it from now on

@@arthurwintersight7868As someone who's currently doing an A-Level in software development... yeah that analogy is pretty accurate.

Happy to see this comment. As someone who is considering a career in software development, videos like these have been making me wonder if it's a bad move. Nice to know that it's not complete doom and gloom for some people.

@@kickheavy8982 I'm tryna become a doctor and the same things happens. Everyone says to become a software engineer haha

@@shrayesraman5192 I can relate for sure man

@@kickheavy8982 Every job has it's problems, certainly. I've enjoyed switching career to software development, but even if you end up not enjoying it that much, at least you'll still be getting a decent paycheck.

@@lamywater yeah you're right. I'm always confused when people say "don't get into it just for the money." when money is the reason why most people work most jobs.

Lol mood

Just go strait for dev ops, it's the hat they will want you to wear while doing any other job they asked you to do.