This week: 1 year, 9 months on T; passing, facing fears. Oh, and chickens - chickens - chickens. HRT-shirts on ETSY: www.etsy.com/s... If you're interested in a hoodie, message me here, and we can work something out...
I feel sorry for you guys having so much fears about bathrooms. I am lucky to live in Europe for that! Layers and layers on stuff with habe to get reed of, each one more or less fast.
Hi stine, I love your vlogs. I just wanted to say your train of thought is amazing. I wish I could look at things the way you do. But I can't stand stupid. I'm sorry that you have to go threw these things. Times are changing slowly. Very slowly. You shouldn't have to explain your transition to anyone. EVER. If people would just worry about themselves. It shouldn't matter what you look like, what body parts you have, how you identify, it should be based upon your personality, your heart, your mind, that's what matters. The struggles your going threw are tough but remember your making the road a lot smoother for the trans people emerging behind you. Thanks for everything you do.
So glad to have found yours and some other channels. I'm 49 and just came to terms with being Transgender Ftm in the last six months. Better late than never. It took some real digging beyond the young Trans RU-vid stars (some great channels) to find that something more, something I could relate to. Looking to delving into your videos.
Chicken photobomb at about 2:20. Great looking hoodie. Yep, gotta overcome a lot of fears to transition and then different layer of that - yet. Your ideas on fear are so great and helpful. You contextualize it in a way that takes it out of this very specific trans fear or whatnot. if that makes sense. I found one of those layers today and would kinda love a break from this stuff. You can do it! I had something vaguely unexpected happen today. I noticed an old portrait of me on a page of a local art publication's website. I was a little horrified. They did a studio visit and it's tradition to take a black and white portrait of the artist. I was about 6 months into transition and I hate this photo. It doesn't represent who I am anymore and I wrote an email to the editor and ask her if we could reshoot the artist portrait just for the intial page. I understand they can't go back and alter the article but there is this page with all the artist's portraits and you can click and go to the article. That's the one I want changed. It's complex and I may be asking too much. She hasn't responded yet. It must be a tough editorial decision.
No, it's not. Changing a photo on a website is no more difficult than deleting the old one and uploading the new one(!). Photographs have a "place holder" space. It's REALLY NOT difficult. If you have her email, just send her the picture and say,"Sorry! It occurred to me I forgot to send you an updated picture! I really appreciate you taking a few minutes to change it, thank you and feel free to call if you have any questions." Wait about 7 days, (if she doesn't write back), check for the new picture and if it's not up write again: "Hey there, I know you're super busy but I had a chance to check my bio page and noticed the old picture is still up. Is this an issue I can help you with? It's important to me So if there's an issue let me know how I can help :) Thank you!". Wait 48hrs for a response and if you get none, CALL(!). Don't be angry, just 1. find out what the problem is and then 2. help them solve it ;) It's totally possible they're IT incompetent and if they're using a 3rd party, they might be the ones dragging their feet. Cheers!
It worked out perfectly. I sent the editor an email and told her how I felt and she was awesome. It wasn't a matter of just switching out a photograph. It's a website for an arts and culture magazine. They did an artist profile about me in print. The website is the online publication and an archive of all issues. This photograph was referencing an article from more than 2 years ago. My request was another photo shoot. The magazine does these iconic shoots for each studio visit article. I'll go up soon and do another shoot in the same clothes.
Okay, little known secret (which is a prior military thing): Men don't typically ga f about sharing a toilet, even with a woman lol As a civilian I'd use a men's bathroom with little hesitation if I had to go and the women's was full (which is almost always!). Just on the road keep an eye out on shady places. if you see a guy who looks "rough", even some dudes went follow him in because men have been attacked by men (robbed) in their own bathrooms. But generally speaking? Men don't small talk. They use a stall to pee as well sometimes. I've known men who as boys(children l were sexually assaulted by men in bathrooms and won't use a urinal because of it. But most guys? They don't give a shit about anything but doing their business and getting out. It's transwomen who have it rough. 1. Because SO MANY women have sexual assault in their childhoods AND adulthoods. 2. Because women sometimes take forever getting their business done. It's especially hardon them too as so many are over 6'. Like REALLY over 6' because they may be very broad shouldered and narrow hopped and deep voted/trans voiced still. For them, I recommend a female ally to show them the ropes or have another TW with. Its normal for women to go to the bathroom together, again, in case a creeper dude is loitering. Not a TW, a MAN. Men waiting on wives keep a safe distance. Creeps lean against the walls near the entry/exit doors. If you're good at using a STP, just go in and face forward. if a guy tries to engage you in conversation just say Yep/yeah, Huh, Naw/nope/I hear ya but DON'T make eye contact. Yawn, tilt your head side to side or, best, go in with headphones on but nothing coming through them. The best self defense is the triple gem of martial arts: People, Places, and Things. Bad places attract bad people who do bad things. Almost 100% effective and with it you'll be good for go. :) If you're on the road, give yourself a minute to scope the bathroom area at night. Since most stations with outdoor bathroom entry have a 1 key/1 customer, you're usually ok. The other rule with men is: never make prolonged eye contact. Where Men WILL stare at strange women aggressively, it's almost NEVER done between strange Men. It's the first cue you've got an aggressive ashore in your hands. As a man you have only two options: "give way" or confront. You give way by ignoring the stare. You confront by asking,"Something I can do for you?". I don't recommend this, even for cis men. It's not just that a fight will come your way but once your ass is kicked or if other men have to step in, if they saw that you bowed up instead of ignoring it, they're not going to be happy about it, especially if women are around. The owner of the establishment won't be happy with your either. Other men are more likely to have your back if they see you're trying to avoid a fight than inviting it. (This applies anywhere EXCEPT a very small segment of the population and that segment is usually criminal in some way). So Stine, the truth is 99.99% of the time TM who pass are WAY too anxious about using the men's room and TW are just anxious enough. Personally, I would FAR rather a TW use the Women's bathroom - duh! - than risk going into the men's "in female drag"
