→ Join my FREE live coaching love + relationship course starting next month! 👉 masteryofconnection.com/ QUESTION OF THE DAY - What have been the reasons men have fallen in love in your own relationships?
Mat Shaffer , I used to break into dance when I would hear a song on a commercial,or make up words to a song we hear on the radio, he was caught off guard at first, but up until the day he passed, we were married 35 years, we would try to out do each other, also we would go to the beach often and when he would come out of the water I would just have a big smile on my face and after seeing me smiling every time he asked me why I smiled and I told him he looked so sexy coming out of the water, he then always would check to see if I was watching and smiling , we did so many silly things to make each other happy
Matt a very good topic to talk about, I found out that the reason why men falls in love with me, especially in this new relationship am in. The partnership the playing, safe,etc that's how i treat him like a king. Especially when he comes in the relationship, treating me as a Queen with the most respect. I'll go up and beyond for a good Man.
Mat, this is such a great topic. I'm in a current situationship and I do all of those things but I still see him as a baby giraffe 🦒 it's been 2yrs now and we have such great chemistry it's hard for me to let him go. I see the signs and he does invest and we hang out alot but he just very bad at the emotional and communication part , I don't want to lose him and check out but I just wish he would grow up we are 46 lol . Any tips or advice I'll take
My husband loved me for the values I had and how important they were for our growing family. He loved me no matter what problems we had however for me when he started cheating and lying it wasn’t ever the same for us. I stayed for all the wrong reasons. He promised me it wouldn’t ever happen but it never changed. There for about 21 years I felt completely loved and felt like he wasn’t cheating but I found out he cheated on and off when I was out of town. I finally give up and was so hurt and it’s hard to come back to yourself. It took me years to stop hating him with everything I had. Today we talk now and then and it’s about our kids and our beautiful grand children’s. Finally divorced but met a guy who I loved him so much and still do and we text ea other well me texting him. It’s been 1 yr when he walked out on me. We both were at fault there was no communication at all he’s going to be very distant really didn’t want me to know his family or his friends and every time he went home to where he was from I was only invited one time for the rest of the four years he went by itself so I knew then I didn’t mean that much to him but because I loved him I stayed in with his mood swings had no idea how to work the problems out because he just yelled at meI was at the time and he never called me when he was at work he wouldn’t answer my text for at least 5-6 hours later. I asked him to remove women’s numbers he wants up with and still kept in touch with Em he never did that for me and he still would send them a card to get in the mail early check in by me much for anything maybe at the yard sale for two dollars and some Giants yeah just think about if he was giving me that he might want to give it to someone else I don’t now but he wasn’t in love with me he wasn’t my soulmate I still love you but you’re never come back he wants to be by himself I still have a woman to sleep with well I’m not that woman I feel more than that I’m just cheap hi look for respect he never gave me any respect but he never did try to change for us. After watching your video wish I know how to do the advice. I hope other woman can get your advice before it’s to late. Thank you Matt and will use your advice if I ever get into a relationship very standoffish into trying to date bc of being used and abused again. My marriage lasted 35 years.
8 Reasons Men Fall in Love 1 He can relax/be himself around you. 2 He feels emotionally safe around you. 3 He feels ready to emotionally invest in someone. 4 He deeply believes that he can make you happy. 5 You fit well into his current life. 6 He can see his future with you. 7 You have passion and purpose in your life. 8 He genuinely has fun with you.
Be yourself. Be vulnerable. Tell him your truths. Be open.. Be kind. Be loving. Be affectionate. But mostly realise if it's meant to be it will be.. I found the one after years of abuse from a shitty relationship.
Hey, Mat. I am an older lady and have been married for 41 years to my college sweetheart. Your videos provide insights into the masculine and feminine dynamic that I enjoy learning about. You help me see how and why our relationship has worked well all of these years. But I also learn about ways to improve our partnership and to connect on a deeper level. It is never too late to learn how to improve. Keep up the good work!
Two complete people coming together. Not two people completing each other. Most powerful point of all, no doubt. Your outline so well laid out, you could write a book based on this video alone.
Three phenomenal things, Mat: 1) Advice 2) Hilarious video cuts 3) Bookshelf styling I super-appreciate your presence here on YT and offering your perspective. My friends and I benefit from it so much. 🙏♥️
How beautiful it is to be in a relationship where both can be their authentic selves. Enjoy the simple things in life, a walk, eating ice cream, telling jokes... I still dream about it. ..❤
I was a stranger and He fell in love with me cos i was soo caring and kind to him, even more so than his own family. Esp wen he was going thru a hard time. Stranger to friend to the love of his life!
He is spot on about everything!! Amazing insight, how does he know all this?? Haha!! My boyfriend told me he realized he loved me because he could be himself around me, I am very open and have learned over the years to be ok with being vulnerable and honest and it does attract a real love. Sometimes we are not even aware of who we really are or what we really want unless we go through some relationships that end. Instead of closing ourselves off, we must move forward with what we’ve learned and be honest with the next person we meet. Always be real and don’t blame the new person for what the past person did!! Move forward together and the man will drop his guard and real intimacy will come out of it!!
O my gosh Mat, I found you through Helena and you’re a blessing. So many things I want to say, but mostly, thank you for bringing a male perspective that is based on feelings and genuine emotion. So many male coaches teach from a place of manipulation and strategy. You’re so appreciated.
I think we women do have needs as well and lately I have felt that men are the only ones in the relationship who need support. Its like they are babies! I am a woman and I want someone who knows who he is and what he wants. If he is insecure or he needs too much from me I'm out. I have done it before and it didnt go well, he cheated on me and i felt really stupid. Last time! If they need help, they learn first before trying to be in a relationship with a real and serious woman.
Bárbara Navarro it may be the type of guy your attracting. We usually attract the same type of guy time after time. Depends on your vibrational frequency and the types of guys uve dated in the past. Maybe try something new. 🙂
@Barbara Navarro I completely agree!!!! They are BABIES! My last relationship he was a total baby Covert Narcissist and my ex husband was an alcoholic Narcissist. My best friend said this new guy I like doesn't want a relationship because he is insecure. You can't win. I give up. 🤷
No kidding. It is hard to see through the master manipulator and liar immediately. We put it all out in honesty and then get used. Then they are the victim. I never thought older men act so childish.
Why does your one experience make all men babies? You said it yourself. You need to figure out how to become a good enough judge of character to see when a man has himself figured out before the relationship phase.
I can not 100% agree to your comment. Yes men do need support, dont we women do the same? I mean, it is important that you know he needs support, and they are glad that yoi are there to support them. Isnt that what matters in a relationship?
You’re smart. I have watched other male relationship coaches but you’re different. You’re good. You know exactly what you’re talking about and it shows how you talk with a heart, with real emotion. Just watched one of your video. Then watched one again.. I’m your fan now. Thank you.
I have been married for 15yrs. My partner & I are never on the same page. Always want different things, Its very challenging all the time. Thank u for your videos, great info.
Awesome. I love this Mat. You hit the nail on the head with me and my man. He also tells me that He loves the way I live my life and that I have done well for myself. 🥰
For me, it wasn't magic. We just laugh together and ferl comfortable with each other and know that we each want to support each other. We love each other. We've been through hard timrs, but support each other.
Hello Mat. I enjoyed watching your videos so much. You are such a great communicator with an amazing energy! Thank you for supporting women and/with love. 😊
I realized the more I’m thriving to be a better woman and self growth it attracts my man, and he wants to be with a woman whose confident and a go getter in any aspect in my life. And accepting myself, will help me act him. Which helps a man fall in love I feel. Bc there’s no nagging, pressuring, but instead there’s acknowledgment and gratitude.
i think it's been inviting them into my world, even if it's a mundane thing. my first longterm relationship was with a roommates friend and i was doing my skincare routine. he was asking questions about what all the products were for and i just asked him if he wanted to join me and explain it to him. nurturing is a big part of my personality, so it gave me the opportunity to do something in my comfort zone with a stranger confidently. i genuinely didn't think anything would come of it, so i was busy just having a pampering moment with him. and he actually really liked it because he would not only do it with me, but also started investing financially in products too. which was great because skincare is expensive. but it was always a positive experience because we had a passive, relaxing activity that took up time where we could just talk and goof around.
My man enjoys me because I just be myself. I laugh at myself, so he laughs with me. He says I'm a crazy English lady as I'm also unpredictable and it takes him off guard, as he laughs too, as i dont pretend to be perfect. We sometimes act like teenagers sliding down a dusty bank on trails, he eats his ice cream then snitches some of mine, lol, I throw him a smiling cheeky look. We greatly support each other in our ups and downs with total respect. We are best friends and tell each other that. Most of all, we are ourselves which makes being together .....easy!
My man loves me because he can completely be himself and doesn't have to change to fit my ideology. I never ask him questions when he wants to spend his time with his friends and family. And he can completely choose what he wants to do with his time. He also loves it that I'm playful around him, and not serious most of the times. And he loves it that I'm independent and all my happiness is not dependent on him.
I am a vegan and try to stay away from all fast foods. I also believe that our thoughts can create our realities. My boyfriend definitely eats animals regularly, and has a depressed mood most of the time.
Hi Mat just came across your video I’m in a second marriage what makes our marriage so special is that he is so loving and always there for me in the past year have been a lot with the death of a brother he is former Military he tells each and everyday how much that he loves me before in my first marriage I felt so unloved and unwanted.When something important comes up we can sit down as husband and wife and discuss before I couldn’t do this with my first husband.We never go to bed angry or mad at each other Thank you for your advice We are both in our 60’s and we hold hands in public never did that before.
+:2:3:4:9:0:5:5:5:7:4:9:4:4 whatzpp him I was like this be'fore I know who can he:lp you out text him now he can solve your problem:: don't waste your time here.
I do find what you are saying to be resonating with me. I feel like I have learned so much from my last relationship that it has led me here to truly understand what I want in a relationship with a man and helped me feel better about myself so I can hold more space for a man.
I’m glad you found the video helpful! If you're thinking about dating again, our 'Are You Ready to Date Again?' quiz can help you determine if you're ready. Give it a try! 😊 mat-nlcmdzyq.scoreapp.com/
Always be yourself! Be open and honest always. Be supportive goes both ways. I do believe when you say a man has to be emotionally ready in his life to be truly in love with someone. Acceptance in family and friends
I have meet a guy on online dating site. He's great. We have been dating 8 months and I have met his sister's and brother. He's told me he loves me 4 or 5 times. It bothers me that he doesn't tell me all the time he loves me. I love him too. I never dated a nicer guy before. I'm very lucky to have him. He does a lot for me and I try to do a lot for him. I was abuse, lied too and cheated on by my late husband and this guy is nothing like that.
Thanks Matt! This is by far the best ever explanation and description of how men fall in love with women I've heard. So spot on and true. Keep them coming!
I low the structure of each of ur videos. Highest quality I've seen so far and I've seen a lot, keep it up and thank you very much for the great service! 😊
With number 5... I remember a past relationship where he didn't want to get invested in a relationship with me because I dreamt about living abroad and apparently it was all I talked about.
Man will love if you support his dreams. When I noticed that my crush (now bf) was so much in to fitness business. I did my research and gave him some ideas about his business, and showing that I am equally excited with his dreams. Another way is to always relax and never judge him. Sometimes his business failing, I encourage him and showing positive attitude like "you can do it. You are the best. It wasn't a big deal, let's find another way together" 💗😃
Thanks again Matt 😁. In my own awareness in watching this video, all of the wisdom that you are sharing is reminding me of how similar men and women experience falling in love. I am realizing that I have childhood traumas that need to be healed, in order to fully embrace love and partnership. I have a fella in mind, and he is very patient with me. I am very grateful 😍. It feels so wonderful to be able to be authentic, make him laugh when I’m being quirky, while not even trying, and fully appreciate all of the little things that he does that makes me smile and glow on the outside and tingle within. It’s the little things that make a big difference 🥰.
Hi! "LOVING INTERRUPTION!" Amazing way to put it, as usual Mat!! Thank you for making things interesting, clear, and easy to achieve! Sometimes we just need simple instructions spelled out for us.... "Lather. Rinse. Repeat." 🥰
Everything about you Ii accept you for who you are...i promise to be faithful to you 100 %".What blows me away is that the times that we were together we talked ,laughed and we teased(foreplay)was great between us.The last time I was over we sat at the table and talked teased and sarcastically flirted our way into a for play that was fun.I know what I felt and I know you felt it also...we have chemistry.i want you to know that I find you to be the sexist man I've ever seen. I LOVE YOUR BODY! You make me feel so safe.i would be proud to walk in anywhere and say your my guy ...you sexy motherfuc*ker...heeheehe. I crave you all day long** I want you now....no more time wasted being apart ....lets do this
Sometimes when you are really in love you respect the differences too. If you only looking everything to match at sometime it will break because down the road there will be many that don't match. People change, grow and evolve. Look for a mature man
I really like the quality of your videos btw! I feel that they have improved so much and now they are one of the best dating videos out there! Best wishes from Germany :)
@@Mat_Shaffer You're so smart and handsome😍.Thanks for the great advice. I have a man in love with me in less than a week.😂I'm 39 and he's 31 I thought he was too young, but he paid my bills w/o touching me, first time ever. He wants me to visit his farm in Antigua and I'm from Mass. He told me i'm not single anymore and he wants to take care of me lol. I'm watching your videos for my new man. Thanks so much.👑💕💕💕 I also never ask for money, so he just says here's 300 for your hair, my girl gotta stay stay looking good"❤. Keeper right?
OMG my new love and I laugh all the time. We can make fun of each other and see the humor and not take it personally . He loves the fact that I don't get pissy if he laughs at me because I laugh right along with him. He's comfortable in his skin and I am in mine, so far so good. Love your videos and your energy.
Thank you Mat! This explains so much. Wish I knew these things before. It would have saved me a lot of confusion and heartache. I’m in a great relationship now but a couple of years back I met someone with whom I shared strong attraction and connection but we never got off the ground. Now it makes complete sense!!! Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us. ❤️👏🏻
My last more significant relationship ended because he had kids and I always felt guilty taking up any of his free time that he could have spent with them and he always felt guilty cancelling plans because he had a sick kiddo at home or had a football game to go to. We hadn't been in a serious committed relationship to where I would have been comfortable meeting his kids, so in the end it just didn't work out to move forward. It wasn't a nasty end to the relationship at all, it was just incongruence in our lifestyles. I still very much respect him, in large part because he's a great dad, and hopefully he doesn't have hard feelings about me ending things. We haven't talked since but I hope he's just been able to focus in his kids or maybe find a girl who was more able to understand and handle single parenthood.
Hi Matt you explain everything so well. I have really learnt a lot . I understand much more the fact that to be vulnerable but also positive is a huge step thank you
Because I'm mentally healthy I agree with these 8 points; my exfiancee didn't appreciate it. He was looking for glamorous women, for self validation... I loved him dearly but I ended drained of hope after 7 years of relationship.
Good advice! GREATS TIPS on how to figure out mens lo. Not in relatioship right now but very helpful if i can find that right gentlemen in the longrun. Not looking for commitment after so many wrong choices. Just like enjoying my freedom right now. Taking things slow and loving myself by stepping back and waiting. No sexs unless the lord is ready for me to marry. Sex ruin my life because i got with some real losers who was players and cheaters who did not care for me. My heart is now trying to heal so i will just stay single and have fun doing things i like to better myself.
This is amazing content btw, Matt. You’re always acing it. Number 7 is my issue I lost myself somehow although at first I brought all my passions and purpose into it. Unsure really of how I lost touch. Thanks again I have a better understanding of why that’s important now
Why would a night owl and an early bird not be a good match? We would both have space to have alone time and do our routines at our own respective paces, and then be able to come together when we feel lonely at the middle to end of the day.
Again a great video!!! Looking at myself, I fall in love with a man for all of these reasons aswel! At this point I am a little sad 😢 I met a man I have great connection with, all points were present on my side and his. We had openhearted communication about it. Exept 1 big one: he is not ready 😔 He is separating, so not ready at all. I told him I do absolutely get him, and that I on my side am ready, so won’t engage in ‘dating’ I am so twisted now between just forget him or keep contact while I continue date other men... In your video you state there are many other men out there ready. And that’s true! Yet in the 6 years I am single, he is a man ticking all of the boxes you talk about in the video. I met a lot of ‘ready’ men, they did not fit in my lifestyle (I am actually seeing a man like that) or I did not feel emotionally safe.... Aaarrgggg, why o why 😩
I love Mat, as well. But, I would encourage you to have discernment for which coaches you follow for your heart's direction. Follow & Take the advise of coaches that resonate with your spirit, b'c there are a ton of dating coaches on " The Tube". I pray you find what your heart desires.
Hi Matt, just came across your video, omg I loved them. I've been married for 11 years, unfortunately my husband passed away 15 months ago. It was and still is hard, but I met a guy, we exchanged phone numbers and been texting here and there. He asked me if I wanted to come and spend some time with him, and go places. I was reluctant but I accepted, he never said he liked me or when I try to get him to say something he doesn't. I really dunno what to think. I haven't date in so long, I dunno if he's just shy or he just want us to be friends.
We met in a very unlikely setting and I feel like we're still healing and traumatized by our past, but we're both opening up and being vulnerable from day 1... goofing around like old friends and talking about our future hopes and dreams already. If you were in my shoes, would you press on with the intent to move forward together? I'm having a hard time seeing the signs because I'm not fully open, yet, withholding nothing G the same time.
Belchin' on the couch! Really?? I can Definitely do THAT one !! LOL just not sure how i would with this one guy! What the heck do i do when i notice that i feel deeply for a guy, way too sooon and we are NOT dating. Usually, this doesn't happen with anyone but one person. I feel like the baby giraffe. Anyone ive liked i always saw vision on. Yet, they didnt yse any of their potential on their own. I love that vision part!!
Great video! I'm currently in a great relationship of about 6 months with a fantastic guy. The one problem, he is a major animal lover and has a cat - which I'm highly allergic to. The only argument we've ever had is about his resistance to re-homing his cat because "she's an extension of my soul" whatever that means. Honestly, as much as I hate to admit it, this could be a deal-breaker, and it really makes me sad. But he has told me outright he's choosing his cat over me, to him it would be like giving away a child. I think his attachment to animals comes from the fact he was severely abused as kid by his alcoholic father. His lease is up soon and he's about to buy a house, and it's renewed our discussion about if there could be future with the 3 of us, me, him and the cat. Medication helps some, but I don't really want to live on medicine the rest of my life. Any thoughts?
Asking him to rehome his cat is a deal breaker He will resent you forever Just by your comments you don’t understand his love for this animal It’s just a thing to you Move in He deserves better
