*slowly creeps upstairs to watch this away from my parents while my friends text me, thankfully using my correct pronouns and name* Five minutes later... *sees something about closeted enbies and shouts “HEY- THATS ME” and then frantically looks around hoping nobody heard*
@@MM-ol3kx My mother is, but it isn’t too severe. It hasn’t been too bad lately, but my mother being unsupportive about my gender is the least of my concerns when it comes to her, since it’s only a minor layer on top of the abuse from her.
@@chirpingrobyn oh no, I hope your relations with your mother become better and that you can enjoy what you do and who you are without any obstacles in your way :)
Seth Wisner driving too my mom told me when she teaches me how to drive she’s just gonna put me in the drivers seat and tell me okay start the car. Sorry mom I’m finna crash, hope you have life insurance 🥴
I have a few questions: •How do you tell if you're actually non-binary and not just a trans boy in denial..? •How can I look more androgynous, I know I don't have to but it feels right to me to look androgynous.. •Who are some non-binary characters, singers, actors, ect I'd like to have books shows and songs that I can relate to.. If you can't help that's okay, I'd just like some help on these things.
I think it's funny how I personally *want* someone to guess my gender, be confused, not know, and just quake in their shoes as I walk by, the aura of my Enby-ness radiating energy so strong it breaks the speed of time. Yeah
On one hand I'm jealous, on the other hand I look too femenine for that to be my case lol Don't get me wrong, I love being feminine but at the same time... I WANNA BE LIKE THAT-
I’m 17 and just recently came out as non-binary (most of my family doesn’t know but my friends do) and this video helped so much, especially about appearance because I prefer to dress androgynous but I know there are other non-binary people who don’t want to dress that way. It also makes me feel better about my gender dysphoria. I love your tips and your videos, thank you! 🖤💜🤍💛
But what real gender are you? People like you are going to cause so many problems in the future, tbf you're making problems now..I study law, if one of your family members was attacked, and the man is seen on video, yet turns up at court wearing a wig clamimg to be SOMETHING HE ISNT, or someone who says "that's not me I'm non binary" if one of your family go missing and the police ask "are we looking for a male or female"? Was you one of these quiet kids at school, a plain Jane as we say in the uk, didn't wear makeup? Because that's what most (non binary) are..I'm homeschooling my kids because of this crap, being told you can dress up like a fanny or change sex, even into a made up gender? Freaks
The pronoun one gets me (I'm genderfluid and use they/she/he depending) and a family member said I should get something to label what day it is and I got excited because I had bought a pin just for that and I was like "Oh I have a thing let me go get it" and they told me "No" without even seeing the pin, then said I had to wear something chucky (like a name tag or a shirt) around at all times (at home and in front of strangers in public pretty much). That only came up because I told them I want them to get used to calling me they/them but I would hope that they would ask what pronouns I am each day in the future (so they made it into a big deal about how they would have to ask EVERYDAY and that would be sooo hard [ignoring the fact that it would be factually harder for me to tell everyone everyday what pronouns I'm using for that day]) I keep the pin on my bag so I don't have to make my outfit (and like my whole identity) revolve around my gender but also so I don't have to have random strangers giving me a time over my pronouns whenever I'm out
I'm genderfluid too and my parents don't like take it as a big deal like I didn't get kicked out or anything but I can't really call them supportive, my dad says I should stop being so expressive if I don't like talking to people and my mom won't call me anything but my birth name, I still use it but not everyday and once she was telling my sibling that we were going to the store (I was a boy that day) and she said "hey sissie is going to the store with us!" And I said "well uh I'm not a girl so- just say brother," and she looked me in the eyes and the same thing, it pissed me off alot, just know that we're all here for u 🌺◻️💜⬛🔵 Stay happy!
I wanted to thank you, i’ve recently accepted myself as being non-binary, and both your youtube channel have gave me a place sit down and be myself, so thanks again for trying to make a community for enby folks, it gives everyone a chance to feel at home and be themselves. sincerely, Gray.
Me too! My new name is Aer which is pronounced aye err and I absolutely love it. My parents are pretty transphobic but I'm not going to let that get me down! I have so many people who love and support me! I will persevere and I believe in everyone here! You guys are valid and I wish I could hug all you lovely enbys
me: *thinking that im overreacting about being called she/her and that im actually ok with those pronouns* my younger brother and sister: "GIRLL" the same me that was JUST questioning 15 seconds ago: "STOP CALLING ME THAT" 😂😂
I understand how that feels I used to identify as a demigirl but it didnt feel right anymore because when people kept refering to me as a ‘girl’ I felt uncomfortable
Non binary is the umbrella term and gender fluid is also included in it. You shouldn't care about those labels too much. Your mom seems to accept you no matter what😊
GUYS I'M SO EXCITED I'm non-binary and struggle a lot with chest dysphoria specifically, and I finally got a binder that works, and I got some new clothes and I'm just...YAY If you're in a situation where you can't do those things, it's ok! I believe in you, you're beautiful and amazing and valid and I support you. 😘
@@a_potat Don't cry honey! I meant what I said, you'll make it, it gets better! I have a lot of love to give, I'm sorry if my pep is annoying, but I believe in you!
TL;DR: A trained mental health professional who specialized in gender told me basically questioning your gender qualifies as gender dysphoria; that intense pain and suffering are NOT required. ----- About the gender dysphoria thing: I was concerned that I was allowed to start T without talking to a mental health person about gender stuff specifically first (imposter syndrome) and went out of my way to do that (while on T anyway). I spoke with a mental health therapist who specialized in gender identity and everything involved with that. Gender dysphoria was one of the things we discussed. Between hearing how much it hurts many folks, and having experience with a different type of dysphoria (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, one of the things I experience thanks to ADHD, etc), I felt I was too okay with things to be considered to experience gender dysphoria. The therapist told me a couple things that, especially coming from an actual trained mental health professional who even specialized on gender, I always feel are worth passing on. 1. He told me that to qualify for things like hormone treatments, gender-affirming surgeries, etc, the hospital needs to be able to put in their records that something is going on with my gender. (I use that awkward wording because the specific way it appears on my record is "Gender Identity: Nonbinary.") For them to do that, they have to be able to say that I experience gender dysphoria. 2. He shared that gender dysphoria was defined as distress caused by a persistent incongruence between assigned sex and gender identity. He proceeded to explain pieces of that definition, then. 2.1 - Distress - This doesn't have to be some extreme suffering. "Something bothered you enough to make this effort. That counts. If you weren't distressed, you would not have felt any urge to start this process." 2.2 - Persistent - This doesn't mean "constant." It only means it wasn't a one-time thing. It's ongoing, there are still things to work on to feel more comfortable and "right" with oneself. (Again, this is for the sake of obtaining treatments, not simply "qualifying" as trans/enby, so they're focused on things still to do.) 2.3 - Incongruence [...] - Just the sense that something isn't right, something isn't matching. I didn't have to meet any list of desires, I didn't have to have any specific end goal, and it didn't need to be something in the binary or even easily definable. I just needed to feel there was something inaccurate about what I'd been assigned.
I know this is really late and I’m sorry but this is super validating. I feel a bit dysphoric sometimes but not to any extremes. I’ve been questioning and doubting myself because I didn’t think it was that bad and I could just be cis. I’m not- as it turns out. I’m enby 🩷
Came out as non-binary and bi on my birthday two days ago. I’m super happy. Also you guys can just do you, choose whatever clothes you want and feel comfortable with. When they misgender you, say with so much confidence your actual pronouns. They probably won’t question it. Unless you’re not in a safe place
im an arabic and in my country ppl r against all the lgbt+ community + against non binary ppl too so its really hard for me to tell anyone about that :( i didnt even tell my internet friends bc im not sure how they will react.. i started to use prounouns they/she months ago but not in my personal accounts cuz im so scared of my family and irl friends, i hope one day arabic countries will be more open minded about those things bc it hurts when i see my family throwing hate towards ppl who r like me. thank u for the video bc i was kinda confused about some stuffs and sorry for talking too much 💛
I’ve recently started to come out as nonbinary to my close friends and my siblings (because of a tarot reading telling me to tell the truth) and it feels so good, like I’m finally free. I hope one day I can tell my parents
I identify as demigirlflux, (I fluctuate between demigirl and demiboy but mosty demigirl) and I'm experimenting with they/them, but I wear a headband and ponytail holder to let my family ( they're super supportive) know what I feel that day. E.g, I'm wearing a pink headband and pink ponytail holder right now to let them know I feel like a demigirl today. The blue set is for demiboy, and the purple set is for both/neither.
I'm scared to come out as pan to my family even though I know they'll be supportive... But now I'm also questioning whether I'm non-binary or not, and I'm not sure if they'll be ok with it if I'll change my pronouns and I don't know what to do... I mean, do I wait until I'm sure if I'm non-binary to come out and then come out as both pan and enby? Or do I come out as pan and wait with non-binary until I move out (which means like two years)
Hey I am the exact same way but I am lesbian and I would say if you aren't a million percent sure you can say " hey I want help with something and I was wondering if you guys could use they/them (or whatever pronouns you want) pronouns on me for a little to see how I feel" and if you said they won't care it should go over well and I hope everything will go over well
@@briethey-them9542 yeah that's what I did. Altho technically I was at the doc's office when I came out to my mom as pan, and I showed my mom a vid for coming out as enby. And after my mom knew, I just told my dad and brother
If you do decide that you are non-binary my advice would to come out as non-binary first because there's nothing really wrong with wanting to change your pronouns plus it'll be a lot easier and then you can come out and pan I know that this advice probably won't work heck I'm not even out of the closet myself but I do hope that this does help in your journey to discovering who you are as a person :)
I'm kind of starting to think I might be non binary. I've always felt like I didn't fit in with boys or girls, but finding out there's a label for that is really refreshing. I used to wonder how girls in my classes would come off just like their assigned gender and liked to do stereotypical "girly," things, and thought I was weird for not liking those things. Since I didn't feel comfortable with doing girly things, I started to try to be a boy, but I was terrible at it. No matter how hard I tried to fit in with them, even though I present myself as more masculine, it just didn't feel right either. I don't want to be seen as feminine, but I don't want to be entirely a boy either. Every time someone would tell me to act more feminine it annoyed me so much, so I just thought I was a closeted trans. I couldn't proudly say I was a female since it didn't feel right, but I couldn't proudly say I was a male either. One day I saw a video in my recommended called "Are you non binary?" and the person in the video went through the exact same things I did. I never knew there was a label for what I experienced, and finding a community that I could relate to felt... nice. It feels nice to finally fit in with something for once.
Idk what I am still, I’m just sayin enby cuz I know I’m definitely not a boy or girl, but I’m still trying to find a term that describes everything and nothing at the same time *:)* ahhhhhhhhhhh
Im confused about my gender as most ppl in this comment section. The reason I've been questioning stuff lately is bc idk if Im feeling dysphoria and euphoria :/ Since my chest started...well... existing, I've been feeling a little uncomfortable I only feel ok in baggy clothes and if im wearing a normal size t shirt i like to use an improvised binder I remember the first time i binded my chest i felt sO happy, it felt great! Seeing nothing there, it was amazing :) I even texted some close friends telling them how happy i was xD I also carry around my dad's old wallet bc idk it makes me feel good¿ kinda the same feeling as binding My mom insists in getting me a new, girly one and idk how to explain to her why that old one is special to me I also get excited about buying clothes in the men's section. I've never gotten anything from there ofc bc my parents always say "its a boy's tshirt, its not for you" And it makes me feel really upset But what if this binder thing is just a style choice? What if its not dysphoria? Im a little lost I definitely know im not a man, I dont know if im comfortable calling myself a woman¿ I could be cisgender and this whole thing is just a style choice, i could be nonbinary, demi girl or agender Right now i only know im comfortable with ppl refering to me as she/they/he and i like to be called Ari
im nb and i recently came out to my older siblings, but my brother just acted like i was joking? he always does this but it kinda made me mad, just so u know im 11 years old, not sure if i should come out to my mom?
heya. it might just be because they think you’re too young. it’s up to you, if you think coming out is unsafe then don’t but if not i don’t see a reason why not to.
I'm also 11, and enby, and in out to my parents. I would recommend it because it's likely they will acknowledge it. My parents haven't been using my pronouns, but they're nice people and my mom is supportive. Don't be afraid! If you aren't supported, dw, it gets better
You might want to wait a little bit. I knew I wasn’t a girl when I hit that age but it took some experimenting to find out. There’s never a way to be 100% sure unless you experiment with your pronouns and what you’re comfortable with. It has taken me a while for me to figure out that I’m non binary and to be comfortable with that and it could take you a while to. Whenever you feel you’ve figured it out, only come out if you feel it’s safe to do so or if it’s necessary for your mental health.
My little sister is the sweetest I came out as Non-Binary Pansexual to my family and she instantly goes “Oops sorry sibling!” herself when she calls me Sis or Sissy
I've recently started thinking about my gender and I think I'm non-binary or at least somewhere on the spectrum, it's sorta confusing and I don't even know which pronouns I prefer :/
1 month ago... Me: ~does research since I think I am nonbinary~ My brain: ~Gives me random memory that makes me see I am not Cis~ Me: Ima listen to that but still do research- Now... Me: I am still researching even though I identify as nonbinary-
Omg I love that you said "everyone that's nonbinary has some degree of dysphoria" and then described it as feelings around expectations based on your gender. I didn't think I had gender dysphoria until you said that! And I definitely do. Being intersex complicates everything! I always thought I was just a cis woman all my life, only to question my identity 26 years in and realize I've only been trying to force myself into the binary. It was never made with me in mind. Being AFAB and growing thick facial hair and body hair, so thick you must shave daily and still get 5 o clock shadow, makes people dehumanize you. They look at you in disgust, like you're a failed attempt at a woman. They pity you if not that. I'm not sure if I'd ever have accepted my facial hair or not, because I too really care about others opinions of me. So I hated the hair because everyone hated it on me. I got laser treatments just to live a peaceful life. Thank you for making this video! I try to stay true to myself as much as possible, but unfortunately I'll remain in the closet for a while because in rural Texas no one cares.
One kid in class said: Just Boy and Girl, just 2. And I said: I do identify as attack helicopter He looked confused I said: Do you I identify as a transphobic
To be fair , I’m kind of afraid to just be « faking it » . I’m afraid I’m just feeling that to be « that spicy kids who needs attention » . Because sometimes , I feel like I’m okay and I’m not really triggered by feminine pronouns ( with my parents mainly ) but i really feel disgusted with my chest . I never really felt like a girl , but I’m also scared to just exaggerate those feels to be « spicy » . Thanks for reading my rambling .
I feel exactly the same way! The best advice I could give would probably be that everyone experiences thing differently doesn’t make anyone less valid for who they are, and also questioning things and experimenting is completely okay too! You got this :)
I'm 13, and I'm almost 100% sure i'm nonbinary, but i'm also terrified about what would happen in school if I came out, but I already found a name, it's just stressful thinking about what would happen. (Even though the public school I go to has tons of LGBTQ+ people, including a trans teacher) And Idk how the hell my parents would react. ;-; ...............
Fun fact: I came out as non binary to my school counsellor yesterday, she was the first adult I told, I’m planning on telling my mum tomorrow when I go back to her house, thanks for this video ❤
The closeted non-binary point hit home. I only recently came out as non-binary and transfemme after identifying as male and presenting androgynous for most of my adult life. I live in the deep south, but fortunately I live in a major city with a huge LGBTQ+ community and a member of the goth community here which is also generally very supportive. So my coming out was not as painful as I've seen for some more rural southerners.
One time someone in an among us game asked what pronouns everyone used and I asked people to please use they/them for me because I’m trying it out, and then they turned around and started making fun of me and yelling about how I had to be a boy because I was playing blue (which, I’d accept if people called me she/her but forcing a gender I don’t identify as on me SUCKED). Luckily, the server was GREAT and told off the player and kept voting him out until we could convince the host to kick his friend from the room
Love this, I am a very masc presenting person,I have a good amount of facial hair and until today when I bought nail polish for the first time have never shopped in the women's section.
I just love this video! It cleared up so much for me. Also, I really want to hug you for making such awesome videos and for being there for us! This channel is the reason I have found happiness and clarity in my life after so many months of despair! We love you!😁💜💜
You are such a wonderful person and I only recently came out as non-binary and I'm learning so much from your channel. Thank you for this wonderful resource that is helping me so much already.
This really helped me a lot because I am going through what you explained you went trough. Now the only question I have is, How do I tell my parents that I am nonbinary, bisexual, and demisexual? I they always wanted a daughter that was helpful. And I fit all that, but I don't feel comfortable with being called female and using the pronouns she/her. I told me girlfriend this and she still accepts me, but I don't know about my parents. . .
Do I have to have experienced that common thing of not knowing which bathroom to use or feeling uncomfy in gendered spaces to be non-binary? I always just did what I was told, and never put thought into it, but now that I think about it I feel like I never really fit into the girl thing, I just played with them and never imagined me being a legitimate girl, just kind of a person, who looks feminine.
I’m ok with all pronouns, but I mainly use she/her and they/them. I don’t really care what pronouns anyone says at any given time about me, I just like those ones the most, though I mostly get called by she/her pronouns. I present more masculine, or at least try to, so I’m not sure if it’s weird if I use she/her pronouns.
So I think I'm gender fluid and the more I've been trying to identify with my biological sex, the more I'm thinking I am. My parents are supportive of me because I'm their child, but they're quite confused and also very, very Christian. I don't want to be an inconvenience with pronouns and what not. They still refer to my trans brother with female pronouns from forgetting. My mom has called him her son so I think she's sorta on board with the gender identity train. Only my brother and other nonbinary friend recognize me as nb because I've talked to them about it. I try to be what's considered normal because of my people pleaser mentality I've had ever since I was little and my habit of fawning. I really don't know what to do. One of my siblings asked me this morning why I changed my Twitter handle recently to something gender neutral based off my name I was given. I honestly feel like about to have a mental breakdown over this. I'm sitting in a corner away from people 'cause I feel like I'm not fit to be seen. I'm scared that I'm wrong and people will say 'I told you so'. I don't want to be any less of a person by exploring my gender identity. I always just wanted to be this little imp that bounces around changing it up whenever I feel and sometimes even just not have a gender at all. I don't feel like a person, I feel like an oddity. I'm so scared of losing my credibility as a person. I just want to exist and everyone be happy without any objections or second guesses. I don't know what to do. If anyone is reading this, please help.
1. If someone calls you by your wrong pronouns, what do you do? How should you react? I personally either misgender them back or correct them. 2. How do you deal with bullying? ignore it, they get mad if you don't give them a reaction and they'll get bored and leave you alone eventually, it gets better i promise. 3. I don't know which 'label' is right for me...Help? that's fine I went through a lot of labels before finding the right one myself and if you decide to identify as unlabeled that's cool too! 4. How can I let people know which pronouns I prefer if I switch back and forth? I don't switch back and forth between pronouns but in that situation I would say that I used they/them, xe/xem, he/she/they, all pronouns etc. 5. Do I have to 'look' androgynous in order to be nonbinary? absolutely not, even as someone who presents androgynously (did I spell that right?) you can present any way you want. 6. Do I have to have gender dysphoria to be nonbinary? no. 7. How do I bind properly? don't use ace bandages (like i did), or bind for more than 8 hours (again, like I did), and if you buy/make a binder, don't make it too small or wear more than one at a time(also like I did) 8. I am closeted. What do I do? small things, cut your hair if you can, wear different clothes if you're able to. do small things to help you feel more comfterble
I'm not sure if you'll have an answer to this but I had spinal fusion surgery in March to correct my scoliosis, so I have a giant metal rod in my back. Because of this, I'm not sure if I will ever be able to safely bind, even if I lower the hours that I bind. Are there any alternatives that might still work and be safer?
Binding tape might work, but you have to buy the specific tape. DO NOT JUST USE NORMAL DUCT TAPE OR BANDAGES!!! There's places you can buy it, although I perfer a binder, so idk the places off the top of my head. Ik there's some on Amazon (isn't everything on Amazon tho XD), but idk the quality of it. Def read reviews before you buy anything though. Hope this helps :)
You could try trans tape. I haven't tried myself but have been looking at it and other people say it's good and easy to use because it's designed for binding. Also you can wear for multiple days at a time(definitely not why I want it)
I've been having a bit of dysphoria mostly with my chest and also my body structure I guess. And I'm kinda starting to like masculine/boy clothes rather then feminine/girl clothes, and I would prefer clothes that doesn't bring some body features out too much. So I do kinda think I'm nonbinary though sometimes I'm questioning but yeah.
I'm genderfluid and most of the time I feel more female soo that makes me think I could be a trans girl but their are some days that I feel more like a boy soo I don't know whether I'm a trans girl or genderfluid,if anyone can help with this it will be appreciated.
I’m having an identity crisis, I recently came out as non binary but I don’t know what to do with my appearance, whether I want to cut my hair or leave it how it is. Wherever I what to change my name or leave it how it is I’m really questioning myself and I have no friends that I feel like I can go to
The "I was... for a hot moment" was my entire life first was lesbian, then straight, back to lesbian (though I just used gay), next was bi, then pan for a few years and at the moment I'd say bisexual fits best.
My entire family was fine with me being pan, but somehow this seems like a much harder closet to escape. I grew up being the "super pretty little girl who was going to be a model and who loves fashion". I still design clothes, but that isn't who I am.
I am a little confused on it in Nonbinary or not. Because I don't feel uncomfortable as a girl, I just endlessly hate the stereotypes and unfairness that comes with it. I do feel a lot of gender/body disphoria when it comes to my chest, and can't wait for the day when I can wear a binder. And there's my name. I've been thinking about the name Wren, and love it a lot. But my parents would be really sad or disappointed if I changed from my birthname to Wren. So I feel Nonbinary most of the time, but sometimes I think I might just be demigirl.
If you are seeing this pls help me I’m Mexican and I’m Muslim (dad and mom too) My pronouns are he/she I’m AFAB and I identify as a men and I’m sure about it but but I’m starting to think I’m also no binary I have a label or Im a trans person only I’m gender fluid ?!? (My gender dissent fluctuate but idk) help me please !!!!
I have a friend who purposely misgenders me and my bsf,calling us she/her when knowing that it’s they/them so when texting and he says (for example) “yes she’s going to-“ “their*” Either ways he still uses she/her knowing we don’t like it
I have been thinking and exploring my genger, and I'm pretty sure im a nonbiner, but im kinda afraid to "come out", especially to my mum, she is not homophobic, but might not understand and question it a lot. Idk what to do.
I've come to the realization that I have s female name as well as a male name. I was really drawn to this video. Cool realizations happening. I welcome the names Vinny or Vanessa.
I'm pretty late but um... What should I do when my teacher asks for boys on one side and girls on the other? Last time I was at school I kept sitting my chair looking confused, and my teacher made a questioned face at me. I stuttered and asked to go to the bathroom What should I do next time?
Person, my friend is enby and bi I feel bi tendencies and I'm enby but I don't want to seem like I'm coping them I just want a response bc it hurts my feelings to not like being called "Gabe" and "Grace" and "Gabriel" and I go by Ash now. May I have a response fair person Edit:?
This is how I get my family to use my correct pronouns: There’s a website (perfectpronouns.com) that sells a mug that says “misgender fee $1” I basically just carry that thing around all day
Okay, so, I’m a afab non-binary minor, and I mean this in the nicest way possible: has anyone ever met an amab non-binary person? Because I have never, that I know of. My school is rather supportive of LGBT+ community, and I have a few non-binary people in my class. All of them that I’ve met are afab. Even my non-binary cousin is afab! So seriously, is being non-binary more likely for afab people than amab, or do they just have more trouble coming out due to their different circumstances?