Understanding Non-Binary: Excerpts from a Correspondence | Robbin Derry and Saga Darnell | TEDxULeth 

The bollocks.

Mam if you understand what is non binary Are they comfortable in their body

​@@_Sakidora_ what is non binary

@@kavyabanka4482 Good question. Nothing real, that's for sure.

She is being absolutely cruel to her parents. She is selfish and psychotic. So sad. Her parents have to lie to her. Despicable woman...but she is clearly mentally ill so we can't be too hard on her.

When I'd originally watched it and surely every rewatch... it's moving, saddening, and affirming for myself... my mother was my truest communication. She was always open to everything and being nonbinary, myself... had I known a label beyond how I've always described myself... my mother would have dived in and helped me in every way possible. The hug at the end killed me... it was so beautiful, as was each exchange. It hurts to know my mother could have been there for my gender discovery journey.

Please remove yourself from this planet ASAP before you do more harm

I've only seen 5 minutes of it and was wondering if they are mother and child or if they are just two academics. It's very helpful when both mother and child are academics because they can understand the dynamics a little bit better.

You are truly brave for coming out and showing people your true self. I pray those around you will continue to love and support you like you deserve.

PROVE you're non binary. If you can't its because there is no such thing.

If you have a stick between your legs you're a male if you dont have one you're a female

No one was brave or vulnerable .. they are selfish, spoiled rotten brats who are constant attention seeking whores.

You are not non-binary. EVERYBODY has a masculine and feminine side.

Listen to your mother. The good etiquette is to listen to the advice of parents if they mean well. That is the right etiquette for a cultivated person.

Are you saying that girls aren't full people?

I don't understand. Could you please explain? How is it gaining a full person? It would just be a child changing who they are. I can't understand this whole narrative/ perspective.

Fkn sad bstds,get a grip... born with a co.k don't wear a frock freaks 🤮🤮🤮

​@@outestuniverse6569 too bad your mom didn't teach you the good etiquette of understanding others perspectives outside your own sheltered world. Tragic.

I hope they do/did as well As a mother I watched this with my non binary 12 yr old. They hugged me and said their dad and I had responded much like this mother. I have never been so proud and relieved ….. loving them made it necessary, not necessarily easy. I slipped up pronouns for months. I still do occasionally. But our baby reminds me gently ( lol and at times forcibly) Wishing you well❤️

HER* "I hope they take it as well as *her* mom." Get out of this woke BS.

@@customfantasyhotwheels you are adding nothing productive with your comment other than demonstrating your blatant ignorance.

@@chaos_flower - Ignorance? Do you not realize that she is *1* (ONE) person? She isn't a 2-headed human🤦🏻‍♂️ You need to realize that this came out in 2020, when people were locked up inside their homes with boredom and too much time to think about silly things, such as this "they/them" 💩

@@customfantasyhotwheels Not believing in the nonbinary is a form of discrimination. It is just like transphobia and whenever someone comes out as either trans and/or nonbinary of course rightists will lash out on their bigotry.

That's tragic. It's dissociation, not 'being nonbinary'.

@@Mel-wn9gb the comments section of youtube really isn't any place to be diagnosing. I guess it is definitely the place to be judgmental, from my past experience here.

@@acreklaw Unless you self diagnose as 'nonbinary'. Then it's ok apparently. And exercising judgement is an essential life skill.

@@Mel-wn9gb you can be diagnosed with dissociative disorders but you can't be diagnosed as 'non-binary' cuz it is not a disorder.

Guess...

Over rated.. fixed it

TRYING to understand and failing to is a whole lot better than dismissing someone

Just say mom... Adoptive parents are still "parents"

Bingo

Using they in your sentence is correct, and that is the reason we cant call single person call they. The word already has it meaning.

There are people who identify as men or women, AND there are also people who don’t. It’s not about destroying things, it’s more about creating things For me it’s very important that people will perceive me as gender neutral, for some it’s not. It’s all about being different in so many ways and to accept that i guess

Changing laws changes things though. When it becomes unlawful to misgender someone, then you're bringing everyone into the conversation, so you can't just tell people to shut up and accept it and call anyone who doesn't initial agree with you a transphobe if they have questions and struggle to understand. ​@eol273

If they want ther own pronounce then don't use existing ones. We gave defined meaning of am/is/are and you know that, so you can't feel to be called "they" when you know meaning of they.

We cant call you "they" because in english am/is/are is already in use. So you can's ask someone to cally you "they" because you are a single person. If you soeak English you can't feel better if someone is referring to you in plural.

So I am, they are.. those words are already taken and has own meaning. No way you feel better when someone call you in plural.

Met a few of these freaks 🤮🤮

emotions are science. Stop acting like they're not a chemical reality.

@@Caves_of_Altamira emotional reactions are linked to our thoughts and psychological state. But where is science when we identify a gender? Is it based on what we feel? What if your feelings are based on wrong ideas or beliefs?

Whilst your opinion is yours to have and may be true for some you cannot say this is absolute truth for all. Are you even aware you have misgendered this person here in your comment? As a mother going through this situation with my 18 yr old child having just come out as gender non conforming I am in the thick of the learning of changing my language and understanding what it all means and why etc. I do not know your story but I felt your comment shows you have completely missed the whole point of this beautiful exchange.

@@helenknight5261 What exactly does it mean to come out as 'gender nonconforming'? Conforming to what?

@@Mel-wn9gb and why does a person need to “come out as” gender nonconforming? So many of us-perhaps even the majority-are gender nonconforming to some degree or another. That’s why non-binary makes so little sense to me. It’s actually completely meaningless.

@@Mel-wn9gb what society decided it should be, it’s a cultural thing, I made a playlist on my channel explaining the history of it and the science behind it, it’s still wip tho so not all your questions will be answered, but hopefully you can get a better understanding of it

I know it sure helped me understand non-binary a bit more, and probably helped other non-binary people understand themselves. It’s not a first world problem. They’re not trying to say it is. They’re sharing a story for those who are willing to listen, and help those who need it most.

Actually I'd argue we're heading down the off ramp towards an obscure back road with this sociological Lysenkoism.

Too true. A lot of these people are too young, uneducated or lack perspective to see how ideological and profit driven this movement is.

@@Mel-wn9gb they also haven’t put in the thought necessary to realize how nonsensical and self-contradictory it all is.

I understand where your coming from. And in some instances I agree. Education in gender dysphoria needs to be further explored and shared. And for those diagnosed need to explore multiple coping options before turning to medical procedures However, I’ll share my own story. For years I was unhappy, I was struggling with depression, derealization and dissociation, anxiety, and insomnia. I couldn’t understand why. All I knew is that I hated myself. I couldn’t look in the mirror, or even take a shower without breaking into tears. I would get dressed in the dark just to avoid looking at myself. When I was diagnosed with gender dysphoria, I knew it was true. But k was still lost, I had no desire to be the opposite gender and yet my assigned gender caused me so much mental pain. I work through all of this in therapy for years before learning to accept a non binary gender identity. I still struggle with feeling invalid or what not, and it’s those points where my depression creeps back up. I got surgery to help my body image and all of a sudden, I noticed the insomnia stopped, the mental breakdowns lessened, my social anxiety was easier to manage, the depression I struggled with felt so small compared to before Everyone has their own truth. Everyone needs to follow their own path. Surgery isn’t the answer for everyone, but for some it is. Surgery saved my life, for a long time I thought I would never be happy, and I saw no point to trying. But now-a-days, I feel like myself. I feel like I’m no longer trapped within my own body Gender dysphoria is very complex, and it takes a lifetime to learn to cope with it, and if surgery can help someone cope, then why tell them otherwise

You could flip the script though & say "If you can't provide a valid justification to create this concept then it isn't a real thing." So far the only justification is that it makes them feel better.

I agree that it wasn’t well presented, although it is a real issue maybe not relevant here tho, they didn’t mention if they felt like that :/

You’re wrong

@@honeypot9867 every anxty teen is non binary. My friends daughter is 13, 7/10 of her female friends are apparently non binary. Hahaha.

@@sgilmour47 listen, I was just fulfilling the prophecy. You said « tell me I’m wrong » so I did lol

Yeah not gonna lie I notice most people identifying as non binary are young teenage girls with bright neon dyed hair and nose ring piercings lol

you're absolutely not wrong. we call these girls theyfabs

gender binary, so that there is only woman or man, is a construct by white, colonialist history. you can check that out.

@@stumblingdancer adam and eve?

I went to university in the early 2000s, we had a non-binary person in a few lectures. So yes, nonbinary has been around for a long time.

​@@stumblingdancer stop using our white, colonist internet please

@@riza3908 I think they said something about gender being a white, colonialist concept.

wtf is wrong with you?

A cry for attention and wanting to be different. We used to have this need met with music, I used to be a punk rocker. It seems those anti-establishment movements in music no longer exists and it turned inward, kids now want to be anti-establisment by changing how people need to treat them. But it's unacceptable by society, punk-rockers know this and accept this, non-binary people seems to want to inform everyone about themselves and how they want to be treated. It's a big difference.

No

@@JerryMetal the good ol' "kids these days" rant... old as time itself. guess what, the kids are ok. punk rockers turned out fine, despite what the parents said. so will this generation, and guess what... the generation after that: totally fine. People have been worried about the next generation forever and EVERY SIGNLE TIME they've been proven wrong.

@@acreklaw i hope so too!

​@@acreklaw you can't seriously compare that with taking hormones and chopping off healthy body parts...

How so?

I hear this a lot from the anti-trans movement "you have to have comfort within" and I understand that idea of thinking but I do think it comes from a miss understanding, or miss framing every day you and I both negotiate our comfort with others our identity every time you correct someone saying your name or telling your kid to call you "mom" or "dad" instead of your given name every time a parent says "I'm your parent, not you friend" its all one big negotiation the only thing I believe the problem to be is legislation because none of these negotiations are legislated and that's the only way to live, if someone insists you are not a "real mom or brother or Ph.D. holder" you can argue or you can walk away that's the problem with the trans community right now the inability to walk away if this was your child groveling is just as bad as shutting them down that how you get a kid that doesn't speak to you

If you’re not ready to love your child for whomever they are, then don’t have one. That person is discovering a part of themselves they never truly understood and now that they do, they want their mother to help them be who they truly are inside, hopefully you’ve seen my other comment, you should go watch the playlist it’ll probably help you understand:)

@@ClicStudio I have two children. One of my children passed away, so I think I know what it means to love a child. Loving your child unconditionally doesn't mean agreeing with everything they think, believe, say or do. If my child wanted to self harm because they bought into a regressive, sexist ideology I wouldn't just passively go along with that. I would question and challenge their thinking so that I could support them to be who they truly are, not who they think they are according to a highly problematic dogma.

@@Mel-wn9gb I’m sorry for your loss, I couldn’t have known. However, gender identity is not a problematic dogma, for whatever that means. I guess I can understand where you’re coming from, my own dad didn’t believe me at first, so I explained to him my thought process and now he understands that it’s not my choice to feel this way, we can’t all correspond to the gender binary that has been established throughout the years. I agree that you can disagree with their views, their beliefs, but you can’t dispute who they are directly and saying that they are wrong to believe to be who they are. I thought that’s what you meant here.

It's to show a positive example not to deny or devalue less positive experiences you don't have to show your own lack of confidence in this shallow way. I hope you give yourself permission to be happy and make better choices

I doubt we would ever consider something Ben says to be interesting

Sooo... if we draw a line from M to F, most non-binary people find themselves somewhere along that line. Perhaps not always the same place. I don't see where "nuclear submarine" sits on that line... So, that would be the "false equivalency" fallacy.

@Nymm Gratton if gender is something that is not based on your biology/Anatomy and based on what you choose to be, then being a human being falls under the same Umberlla. Let's say I Identify myself as a Tiger eventhough I don't have biology/Anatomy, why it's not the same as this ? It's a sickness needed to be cured. Shouldn't be encouraged. Same goes to Obesity movement and many other wokism ideology.

@@iolair1973 right, but if it is a spectrum then it is infinitely divisible meaning that no one isnt non binary. This fallacy is called "fallacy of the beard"

@@josephrichards7624 Except no-one (AFAIK) is saying M and F don't exist at all. The existence of a gender spectrum doesn't stop definitions along that spectrum.

🤨

Grammar please