Hey guys! Just wanted to let you know that my new book, Things That Matter, is finally here. I put my heart into it, and I can’t wait to share it with you. You can pick up a copy at www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/676394/things-that-matter-by-joshua-becker/
I disagree with only one of these. I disagree with “pleasure” - it is a key goal of mine to mindfully seek it. I have had a life full of abuse and my mental health has been full of anxiety and depression. I have lived many decades thinking only about duty and plodding through my days doing what must and should be done to keep others well and happy. I recently realised I was only existing by not pursuing my own happiness. I realised not only that, but it was hard for me to even know what gives me pleasure. I realised I was joyless. Looking for that spark has taught me a lot. It is the biggest challenge I have in the quest for living my best life, and it is the thing that keeps me open to new experiences as I look for joy. I have discovered that making art and music are pleasurable. I have discovered it’s ok to say no to doing things that overstretch you and drain you in favour of the simple pleasure of doing some meditation or yoga. The dishes will wait but if you keep putting off pleasure day in, day out, you will have wasted your best life and your potential.
@Rachel Cox I appreciate you sharing your thoughts. I have lived a similar life that you describe. Always putting duty before pleasure for decades. Putting others' needs before my own. The result has been a joyless life filled with depression and anxiety. I don't even know how to find joy and pleasure because I have denied myself from them for so many years. I'm finally working on learning how and taking the steps to put myself first and find pleasure in life before it too late.
I think there is a balance of pleasure and what you describe is at one extreme end of the scale of not having pleasure and I think what Joshua was Describing was the other extreme end of that scale of solely pursuing a life of pleasure with not enough recognition of what is around them. There are many people who need to work their way from the bottom to the middle of that scale, because all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, I think I am just learning this now. But other people who are hell bent on just having a great time may need to rebalance towards the middle of the scale so that when they get to the end of it all they won't be saying... Who the hell did I help except myself?
I completely agree. A life with no pleasure, just serving others. To me, that wouldn't feel like living. Life is so short and once time is spent you can't get it back. I used to be so go getting and career driven. I wasted years chasing the 'ultimate' career, never got me anywhere, just years of unhappiness. And trying to help other people and connect with others almost destroyed my mental health. No more. Now I live for me and my own happiness (without hurting anyone mind you).
I have also become a compulsive buyer and a hoarder. I don't know where to start. I get small starts and give some stuff to charity but then I get stuck again. a lot came from charity shops. then I got a store card and was buying to make me feel happy and to.make my home nice. can't apply my stuff to my home my energy and my get up and do things has gone.x thank you for anyone who is listening.xx
You just described my life up to almost 6 weeks ago. I decided I want to make a long distance move enough to change things. I've decluttered almost every day since and I am shocked by how much my thinking has changed. Letting go has gotten easier! Two months ago I wouldn't have believed I could be thinking the way I am now. I'd tried everything it seemed without any progress. Good luck! 🙏🏼🙏🏼💫💫 Prayers and good vibes are coming your way. If I can do this, I know you can too!
Ask yourself two questions: Before buying something: (1) Do I really need this (vs. do I just want this)? Secondly, before getting rid of items: (2) Is this item serving me? Last, commit to an achievable time limit each day to "start." Perhaps it will be 5 minutes, or 10 minutes or 30 minutes. Or get rid of one thing, one bag of stuff, etc. each day. As the saying goes, "You can eat an elephant .... one piece at a time."
Remove your credit card from your stores like amazon requiring you to go to your wallet and input and authorize each purchase. Do not go to stores to kill time or if you’re bored. Find another hobby or activity.
Your words are very meaningful. You helping a lot of people who want to become a better person and needs to have orderly life. You're such an inspiration. Keep on blessing to us.
This was sooo profound. I can attest to, The most significant lessons we learn are born out of pain. I've been going through the fire, and I try to understand every day what it is I need to learn.
What an incredibly inspired and timely message ! Honestly ; one of the best videos I have ever been gifted on RU-vid ! Thank you !!! Thank you !!! Thank you & May you and your family continue to be blessed !!!😊❤️😊
Joshua you are like a hammer hitting all the nails of distraction on the head. Thank you so much, it has been posted at just the right time. Am in the process switching over to a simple & more meaningful life, without the clutter & distractions.
Wow! What a profound video! Fantastic and the #1 message that needs to go out into the world! Especially for young people and our future generations! Please listen to this life changing message young people! These are the things that truly matter in life! Thank you for spreading the message. You're awesome.
Thank you so much for your reminders and guidance in life. We need these constantly! I would like to see more videos on this topic on a regular basis. :)))
Interestingly, I spoke about number eight with a friend yesterday. I always wanted to give my children a better life then I had. Little did I realize that this would backfire. The little things to me have become are challenges to them. I fear that, although they are not sheltered, I have sheltered them in the worse way possible. It might be a bit much, but I always believed my job as a parent was to guide our children. Now I have to help to them to live and learn.
This video is much needed right now. And it is so true, this is a daily battle. When we are more present we gain such a gift. Our life changes and we can help others change by these small changes. Thank you!
Good News! My 14 yr TV died 11/11/2020. Thot I would miss it but it has been so freeing. I feel lighter as if I had gotten rid of a lot of stuff. Even did a lot of those little chores that get put off.
my family and few friends that I have are always trying to keep up with the 'latest' trends and have not learned that if you purchase something, there is always a cost in some fashion to that item. Keeping up with the Jones' in not a desirable trait and after awhile makes you look more like a "follower than a leader".
A great Saint in India said :" pleasure and pain chase and cancel each other". Pleasre ends in pain.when in pain, we seek plesure and we are caught in the cycle endlessly. The trick is to avoid seeking pleasures. Contentment with what we have is the way.
All electronic advices its biggest problem. Kids those days are really addicted. I don't watch tv and computer . Yes I agreed how many stuff people having and collecting in years and its difficult to letting go. I love my flat where everything is in place . Love minimalist.
When I was a young mother my husband was in Ministry. That was so damaging to our family because he was never home. Then, when the kids got older I got more involved in church. Going to too many meetings can be a distraction to not wanting to look at your marriage or your family, or just be more involved with them then you are with other Christians and church and conferences
Thank you! I grabbed my journal, and wrote in quotes, "pleasure is a terrible teacher." Is that yours? Right now I have it attributed to you, but please let me know if someone else said it first so I can correctly attribute it. All of this was fantastic, but that one made me do a double-take. :)
I haven’t watched this yet but just had to share: I was just reading The More of Less on my phone, and my 4yo out of the blue asked, “Why do you keep buying so many things!” 🤦♀️☺️ To be fair, she was talking about food, decorations (which I’d just pulled from storage), puzzles (not sure where that came from), and drinks. Glad she doesn’t want to have so many things! I offered to give away some of her puzzles if she wants. 😊
@@JoshuaBecker It was wonderful! I loved how you related minimalism back to the "why" instead of it being an end in itself. The questions you posed toward the beginning of the book are helpful, and I intend to journal through those to get some clarity on my thoughts. Having less and less is starting to feel better and better. :-)
Joshua many thanks. I'm living with regret of things that I have said to my family. even though it came from long term dissing of me. I do regret it. I take it there is no way round it. but perhaps to pray. I have asked for people to pray that this family will forgive me. but they never challenged anything I said and I feel that is their guilt. they can't face what I said because they know it's true. I don't even know where they live to write to them there are 2 grand babies that I can't get to see. does any one who reads this have any ideas what I can do to try to change things. I've had a tormented life while trying to do good. not saying I'm perfect but have never went out to try to hurt anyone. it feels to me like I was always a doormat almost since I was a child.x thank you for reading and would be grateful for any ideas anyone has to possibly help my situation. I'm am a 68 year old grandma who reared 2 of my grandchildren due to their mothers drug abuse. she is now dead. died at Easter this year and left the 2 kids broken hearted along with me. my life is lonely. at least my daughter would talk to me and we loved each other. I was there for her and tried to help her. this has all happened under lockdown so I have not been able to get anyone to talk to. no church, no doctor, no group for parents of addicts to get some support. I cry at night and I call my daughters name. I need to know she is out there somewhere and can hear me. I need proof she is about or is that it. gone !! taken from me. death is so cruel.xxxxxx
I’m so sorry to hear that you are going through this- it might be helpful to look for teletherapy or some online support groups- there might be some on Facebook. God bless you.
Teletherapy was a great idea given. I have had a few sessions and I highly recommend it. Maybe try to reach out to your grandchildren, if possible. The main thing is to not give up. Sending you a virtual hug.🤗
Why do you want a tour of his home? He's entitled to his privacy the same as anyone else. Just be glad he's sharing his thoughts. He doesn't have to share everything. 🤣🤣🙏🙏
I didn't compare myself to other people until I realized that my boyfriend expected me to make myself look like his ex-girlfriend (who was never really his ex-girlfriend), and his favorite Porn "actresses". My life was destroyed and my sense of self was, too. Now, there is no going back to who I was before I met him.
All of these points are covered in THE WORD OF GOD, Original King James Version only. Only if you are a Christian can you truly understand & profit ftom THE WORD. By Christian, I mean a person who believes 1 Corinthians 15: 1-4.
It's hard not to be indifferent (to people, society), when nearly everyone I know is complicit in mass murder. I have a few select friends who are compassionate and brave enough to share my views, but it isn't enough. I am pretty jaded against humanity in general. I have a lot of love for (non-human) animals though.
I agree, i think everyday about the atrocities going on in this world every second by humans and it starts to drive you insane. I am teaching myself to be indifferent because it was affecting my own "being in the moment" of my own life, and then affecting those around me. There is no way the amount of love and joy in this world outweighs the pain and suffering. Again like seeking pleasure there is a scale of indifference I guess and extremes of the scale are prob not good things
There are too many distractions out of there , too many clubs bars which I can afford but if I can't get out something I need by paying there I do not afford it at the first place !
does anyone find it funny how in the end of the vid josia talks about distractions we don't even know to be here, at the same time there is that pop up like and subscribe. Bet lot of us didn't see it 😆 verry subtle!
It's ironic that your channel is part of the problem. Who are you to tell people how to live? Your aggorance is unreal. How do you know I don't live my fullest life?
