A Conversation with Darren Magee about Therapy with Survivors of Narcissistic Abuse 

I hear you My sister did the same thing. While i constantly tried to protect her from my parents physical and emotional violence, she constantly threw me under the bus, berated me, back-stabbed me all the time. I cut her off too but the pain of betrayal is immense.

I'm sorry.

I didn't realize until it was too late that my sister was the biggest narc and was often pulling the strings but making it look like mom. They were always playing off of eachother. But I knew mom wasn't safe, I thought sister had my back.

Almost every scapegoat or invisible child gets tramp in the hard pain against sibilings & confuse the judgment. This all really goes down to was is the quality of human being each person is, but it is fix to say that in every cause the bad behavior from a parent is not at the same level of bad behavior from sibilings for 2 reasons. U can't hold at the same level the behavior of a minor than the behavior of an adult. The children were going to be made golden no matter what,what the golden could act better is very small to none existent because is not enough to act like u believe ur parents, the golden has to DO believe as adults place them because even people like narcisist can tell when u r faking. Again u can never hold the behavior of a minor to same level of an adult. The adult did had all the means to choose how to be, not children. So in general. To know who really choose to be bad to u, u have to account to ur previous generations. The people on ur same age rage or younger are not really choosing how to be with u as much, but being hand down from elders. 2nd reasson u can never say a betrayal from a sibiling is bigger than that of a parent because obviously the parent is much more due to love u by being closer related to u. This doesn't mean have contact with them r nothg. If I feel, like is many times the case that sibilings r more bloody with u than ur parents, it can happen, BUT THAT IS A PRODUCT OF THE PARENTS, ELDERS. THEY CREATED, SHAPE WITH THEIR OWN HANDS THAT SITUATION between sibilings. It don't mean staying close to them. Parents creature a destroying situation & the psychological way they shaped into the golden is to go after u & when want to back up or go away. U need to remove yourself AS SAFETLY AS U CAN, so there is no more destruction, or at least it goes down, or at least u r safe, since u deserve it because u have wanted to make thgs better.if u give ur sibilings credit for what they have had, just a bad parent as u. That were just as bad, but put in a different physicalogical grip with them:the I will give some nice thgs for u to be like me. Their physiological union has 1 different thg but the same bad parent TO THEM.

@@LeiraHdezP It depends. Some sibling narc abuse can go on for 50yrs. In my case 3 so called Sistas, whom n all older but were influenced by mother who died nearly 30yrs ago. There comes a time where every body has 2 take responsibility for there own abusive behaviour, adult or child.

As someone who got PTSD/ChronicStress from overwork, I disagree that hard work makes you lucky.

Maybe so.

Same.

Congratulations and I wish you luck.

I cant help but zone one when Darren speaks, like im trying to follow what he says, but its just a bunch of nothing, just very vague info. Jay is straight to the point. and always gives detailed examples.

This is so true. In there mind you only exist for there abuse and there is no other use for you.

Our pleasure!

Are you a professional therapy patient?

@@203blessings had the personal experience of client sessions with this professional and it was like purely CBT standard script where I'd be given a limited perspective of two options of what something can be. There was no consideration felt of approaching as a unique individual with own thoughts and processing. It was like I were a two year old telling me it's this or this. Like there could be literally nothing else. Simplistic. That doesn't reflect at all what the introduction of the approached he uses. And I didn't see him with a purpose of having CBT based approach. Hope this helps. If you have any other questions let me know.

@@geotyr3868 what I'm hearing from you is, you know what your therapy needs are and you are saying this person isn't fulfilling your required therapy process. Like you have an idea of what your healing path will look like and the person who can help you will just know what your ideal healing path is and conform. ✔✔Thank you for responding in a manner that allows the conversation to develop. I thought my initial post might have been abrupt.

@@203blessings or from a non egocentric self centred point what I am actually saying is that a professional label does not mean not having issues with reality.

@@geotyr3868 "does not mean not having issues with reality" that part of your statement isn't easy to understand. Your original comment was about a guest on a channel that exclusively provides information to scapegoat survivors of childhood abuse. You experienced a therapist being too simplistic in his approach. Narcissistic abuse patterns are used by immature, and simpleminded people. It is hard for an abuse survivor to willingly put oneself back into a seemingly familiar abuse pattern. However this video seems to be about that. What are effective ways to begin the healing process and not have a patient shut down. Retrieving traumatic memories is the goal. So that they can be experienced in a healthy way, not the way a mental ill parent dictated they be experienced way back when.