A Critique of Star Wars: The Force Awakens - Part 3 

In the words of a wise man: "Sometimes the horse needs to be nuked from orbit" - Weekend Warrior

Disney and KK are still in charge of Star Wars.That horse ain't dead yet!

@@janbosch5951 "It's the only way to be sure."

throwaway line: *exists* MauLer: I'm bouta objectively assess this man's whole career

Its justified because there are still some people who pretend these 3+ horses arent dead and are in fact totally fine and dandy.

"... ladies and gentlemen."

I've been out of work since April and I need stuff to watch for the next 4 hours.

Loooooooongman Good! This is perfect. I've got a long boring shift at work tonight and this is just what I needed. Totally worth the wait,!

Yup I am downloading it now and could watch it this evening. And it's not even my Brithday!! Now if Redlettermedia would finish the Plinkett ROSW review i'd be set!!

4h? Shit, i not only forgot what happened in Part 1 and 2 ... i also forgot about that garbage movie because i saw it last time in "preparation" for Part 1 and 2 ... so i have to wath that Dumpsterfire of a movie again AND Part 1 and 2 ... Hello Weekend!

damn no comments? tragic fr.

Yes! And he had to deal with the loss of two sons, and sure it broke him, but not to this kinda level of pathetic. Kylo Ren is discount Darth Caedus

Sorry man your comment hit hard. Hard truth, but damn are you spot on

Stabbed and tossed down an endless chasm...a death usually reserved for villainous characters. Disney's way of bitch-slapping him out of existence.

@@davey_boy94 plus the way they treated his Indiana Jones character in the most recent movie. I dont understand who this kinda of stuff is supposed to be catered to. Clearly not true fans

@@DarthImagnus0790 It's Disney's way of saying, "Out with the old, in with the new." The characters we once loved are either killed off unceremoniously or reduced to shadows of their former selves. And it'll keep happening as long as the cash flow keeps up.

Creamy Bilbo himself

I don't even remember the others anymore. Intentionally manipulating us to watch the old videos again confirmed

>says it'll be released in August (2019) >released in July (2020)

@@mariusvanc tbf I only remember them saying August of this year from this year's EFAPs

Remember when MauLer said the script for the entire series was finished before he even dropped the first video? MauLer doesn't.

This made me laugh more than it should have.

Leben Heisst Leben. MauLer is MauLer.

This post contains a suspicious amount of good rat with women. FOR NO REASON.

I'm enticed to give you a like... *For no reason!*

The Star Wars sequel trilogy really are amazing films. You can learn all that there is to know about their dogshit bastard contrivances in a month, and yet after a hundred years you can still find more.

You've got it.

He's like the monorail man from the Simpsons.

@@DonVigaDeFierro Well, sir, there's nothing on earth like a genuine, bona fide electrified, six-car monorail. What'd I say?

He is intellectual cancer incarnate. And I mean it: he h been party to the Passive Progressive, Leftist Regressive, bad story writing, emphasis on skin and junk rather than *character,* etc. etc. He has been behind the slow rot and death of not one, but TWO franchises with Star in the name... and too much radiation from stars gives you cancer. My brain hurts!,

Except he didn’t leave town before being discovered he’s a fraud thanks to TROS.

With part 2 to follow.

I didn't even look at the time until this comment. Four hours? Guess I'm not sleeping tonight.

At least he answers the damn question :P

And this is why the longman is bad, too short.

The whole story was awful and the characters don't work. I wanted to see Jacen, Jaina, and Anakin Solo (or name him Ben) and have the Skywalker saga become the Solo saga. Oh and no Daisy Ridley, she just doesn't work. I'd have cast Lilly Collins.

Could not have said it better myself.

He's one of the best at this kind of thing. I know I've found something important when I hear a guy being critical of a film who can seamlessly change tone and start complimenting some part of the movie for some redeemable quality right in the middle of tearing it apart. That displays integrity and simple logic. It also adds weight to everything else he says by proving that he can be trusted to be honest, even when it requires him to spend time researching evidence "against" the main hypothesis that he has been formulating in the rest of his discussion.

Well said

He really makes you realize Rey is a plot device, not a character.

Clone troopers? It's team Dark Trooper all the way!

OG Leia for me. I would have loved to see what she was capable of in a new trilogy, pity, messily ripped off New Hope and Spaceballs, never saw the third movie. Hollywood really needs fresh blood. I'm reminded of The Majestic, too many years of the script guys from that movie.

Watch those wrist rockets! Real talk, though. For all my respect for Luke, he is not who I wanna be in the story, and Rey is just a very bad and bland R63 of Luke done wrong.

the real question is, WHY RUIN JOHNSON didin't BOICOT Rey but the resto of the saga ?!

I want to be an imperial pilot, for the stability it bring to the galaxy.

I’m guessing the Doggo will refute that

I guess that makes two things Rag's was wrong about: TFA3 and ATLA.

@Frieza1500 Oh man wouldn't that be great! 😃

@@OutsideTheTargetDemographic And anime. And politics. And his taste in holidays.

He 100% just posted it to proof him wrong.

Crimson Tide with Denzel Washington and Gene Hackman comes to mind as an example of a far more well-written command dispute/mutiny. Its treatment of the realities of command and plain old human behavior are well done, and come from very believable characters and circumstances. A good example of how much better Holdo's subplot could have been.

The editors saved episode 4 and destroyed the new trilogy

Frankly, at this point, there's probably been enough discarded footage that they could totally rework TFA and begin redoing the trilogy into something that isn't total garbage. Not that the Mouse would ever admit that it's worthless propaganda was anything other than superlative and beloved by every person on Earth, but just the amount of stuff I've seen tossed out from review videos leads me to believe this could totally get a redo a la the Snyder Cut and maybe not be totally awful.

I don’t think the asshole wanted us to take any of the OT characters seriously, or even truly get to mourn them, because they were just something to be used, defamed, and discarded out of spite - that scene with Leia and Luke, or the scene of Luke mourning Han, would have gone against that, allowing us to connect with those characters again on a profound emotional level, so the testicle-headed narcissistic shit-for-brains cut them out…

I approve of this message

He does like beating a dead shit horse.

@@jakesnow5728 this horse is a zombie horse.

@@jakesnow5728 To be fair, the dead horse keeps making funny fart noises.

@@joandreintong1928 And that's enough reason to beat anything.

*opens laptop again*

Quick, play Batwamen's theme! *I'mma wamaaaaaannnn...*

@@amanibob1416 Dun dun dun dun dundundundundun

@@VerilyViscous Bwa bwa bwaaa, bwa bwa bWAAA, bwa bwa BWAAAAA-BWAAAAAAAAAA

I love his fandom more than anyone else I watch on RU-vid.

It's explained in the movie that the compressor is part of a few modifications Unkar made to the Millennium Falcon that Rey knew about, possibly helped with, but Han obviously did not. HAN: "Hey! Some moof-milker put a compressor on the ignition line!" REY: "Unkar Plutt did. I thought it was a mistake too, puts too much stress on the hyperdrive." REY: "Unkar Plutt installed a fuel pump too -- if we don't prime that we're not going anywhere." HAN: "I hate that guy." Then a moment later she removes the compressor.

Lol funny conservative joke. Rey has experience of taking apart ships. She'd figure out stuff by scavenging

You could even add in something simple like her cutting him off if she absolutely MUST be better than everyone. He starts yelling out his orders, something like “patch the fuel lines to the hyperdrive, do that then-“ and she shouts back “Yeah, yeah, bypass the compressor, I’m doing that!” Funny AND realistic

@@Golems_wrath Bruh, at least come up with an argument.

@@goosegas2087 bruh that was a pretty valid argument pointing out that Rey has experience scavenging so that’s a possible reason she knows how to fix ships. I mean the movie leaves context for the audience and didn’t just say she’s good at stuff it actually explains it by simply looking at the context. Show and don’t tell basically.

Did he write it though?

That's where we're at folks

Yup. Living in a world where I'm excited to hate the things I love.

so true plus, this is actually worth the money i give in ad revenue

Literally 😂

It's not the world, it's your preference to hear negative criticism over positive criticism.

Haha, long video goes long

*A10 Thunderbolt II with depleted uranium gatling gun Brrrrrrrrrrt

NOOOOO NOT MY HECKING SEQUAL TRILOGY!

"Omg! He put effort on his critique! He can't do that! Shoot him or something!". "Hahaha prequels are shit. This is peak criticism".

I find it kinda funny that each individual CHUNK of this review, they are each longer than the movie they're reviewing

Mystery boxes and flashing lights.

And basing an entire character' developments off a quick Wikipedia search or what he misremembered from assumptions. "Kirk is a loose Canon rule breaker who bangs aliens, right? That's all he'll be, then."

Which is even more embarassing when you realize that the scene with Kylo and Han's ghost is probably the best part of that movie, hell, the whole trilogy.

The idea of Christensen's Anakin intervening as a force ghost is deeply satisfying for me. It would be wonderful to see Hayden framed in OT Anakin's redemption, basking in some of the glory.

​@@ryanrehfuss Disney truly doesn't understand Star Wars and the message of the story the original 6 films tell. They completely forgot that Vader was redeemed in the end. Now in the Ahsoka show they took an entire episode to have her interact with Hayden's Anakin and they never even MENTION his redemption. It's all about how he became evil. Like, yeah, it's cool to see that stuff, but when you ignore the most powerful message of Star Wars because you think people just want to see big bad Vader you've completely lost everything Star Wars was meant to be in the first place.

I said the same thing on another reply. Bringing Anakin back to talk to Kylo in Ep7, while keeping him well-written, would finish Hayden's redemption arc and add to Vader's. But nah, kill the past, right? Also Ren should've betrayed Luke, not the other way around. I mean he slaughtered every Jedi at the temple but spared him nonetheless, even after Luke didn't show him the same courtesy. But that's probably preaching to the choir here lol.

Lol!!.. The Last Jedi doesn't even compare favorably with aging vomit!!!...

They had us in the first half not gonna lie

The Last Jedi ages like milk. _Poorly._

Naive soul. It's not just as offensive now. It's gotten worse.

Indeed, vomit is something that becomes less offensive over time.

"You come from nothing; you are nothing." *"I NEVER LIED TO YOU"*

what I told you was true, from a certain point of view.

@@insulttothehumanrace3807 "they sold you for drinking money"

"Oh, so we're using made up names? I'm Spiderman."

Does it hurt?

This is similar to what I was thinking: Have Anakin show up repeatedly as a force ghost to Ren because he sees the light in him (like Luke did for Anakin) and he doesn't want him to follow his path. That way we could finish Hayden Christenson's redemption arc, as well as add to Vader's. Then, in Episode VIII, the reveal could be that REN betrayed LUKE with his knights of Ren but couldn't bring himself to kill his uncle, but slaughtered the other Jedi nonetheless. Thus, he forces Luke to retreat into hiding to try to covertly rebuild the Jedi without alerting the Empire (cough) First Order. And seeing how everything in these movies seems to take place in a couple of weeks, it'd make sense that Luke hadn't made any progress yet when Rey finds him. He could be nervous about training her because he (like us) can't seem to get an accurate read on her motivations but will of course want to teach her how to control her power before she does anything dangerous (like accidentally blowing up a ship with a series favorite on it). I should probably stop before I rewrite both of these movies lol.

Ugh I HATED that film. I promise it will not age well....

@@nathanharris6450 "You don't something you something hate, you something something you love."

It makes an excellent point of contrast and comparison as both films fail horribly, about half the same reasons and half wholely distinct.

Thee are too many for just the 4.5 hours...

I did briefly forget that this was supposed to be about TFA when he was digging into Rian Johnson again.

"Do you really believe your own hype?" Mauler: "I AM the hype!"

Never have I come across a more perfect comment.

Mauler: DO YOU AFRAID J.J.: Kinda Mauler:BAZINGAAATTACKUH

is this a dba reference

Damn I miss DBZA

It's because the marketing for these films convinced a lot of people that anyone who disliked them did so because of political agendas. They used the EA defence to great effect for all three of these films.

That's just because you got kicked 4 minutes in

Nah, he just needed more rhino milk

You’re too short Jay

Waaaay too short... Step up yer game "Longmanbad".

shut up

Logic cannot be hateful.

@@30noir That is exactly what someone from the toxic brood would say.

it's all the fault of these massives

Slice and dice my fellow broodlings

@@30noir LOL, Logic?

It would've been nice if they used one of the planet names George had come up with but never used. It still would've been ripping off his work, but it would've been slightly less un-creative.

Especially on tasm 1 when he talked about the revenge part, Peter Parker has to mature from something

Gooood comment

perfection

Also applicable: The Original Trilogy: When talented artists can collaborate The Prequel Trilogy: When talented artists cannot collaborate The Sequel Trilogy: ....don't know

Perfect assessment.

@@jackgrimshaw5030 Sequel: When (mostly) untalented artists collaborate

What trilogy?

Don't remember no trilogy no nuthin', no sir

Don't we all?

I'd much prefer for this trilogy to be unofficially canon.

It’s doesn’t really matter , The damage is done

Yeah, that's why I don't understand the people who say "Finn deserted because he was a janitor thrown into combat". Being a janitor is _part_ of his duties not the whole of them. Stormtroopers aren't perpetually in combat and their ships need maintenance and repair. It only makes sense that everyone of them would have another duty to do during the down time.

Oh thank fuck i thought I was going crazy!! Why was it erased?

@@balthier1706 conspiracy theory part of my brain says youtube is splicing bits of it out, maybe for 'content breaches' or somebody asking to have them removed in order to destroy it for future viewings. I really have no idea, and it drives me nuts.

Has it really been that long, man?

It's *arrived* !!!!!!

I was still in high school when TFA Part 2 came out and now I'm in college. Crazy to think about.

@@CalebHimself Greatest comment ever. It's only 2 years, but it's a lifetime during that specific period of life. OK, maybe not the greatest comment, but I sure had a laugh.

I've been looking forward to this

Phasma disabled an entire planet's shield. A planet full of troopers and allegedly high security measures. That's something, right?

@@LordEvrey Did it accomplish anything though?

Me cat just left a deeper and more complex entity in its litter box.

@@jwjakloaaj7942 yeah destruction of starkiller base and her death oh wait

Only to learn in TLJ that her armor is blaster proof. So why did she cooperate with them if she is immune to blasters?

And whatever solid base there was wasn't even original to J.J. and Rian. They just stole what George had already come up with.

I'm so sorry for you. 😱

@@Some_Idiot_Online make it stop 😢

I didn't watch any of Disney's other Star Wars movies after The Force Awakens. Not even Rogue One, despite hearing that it's the ONLY Disney Star Wars movie that wasn't worthless. I've seen Darth Vader's slaughter and Jyn and Cassian's deaths - kudos to how they handled both of those scenes by the way - but not the entire movie.

I was too distracted by the pretty lights on my first watching (as many were I suppose). It was only upon reflection that the story began to fell more and more hollow.

@@tomnorton4277 I remember being extremely annoyed while watching TFA because of how similar it was to A New Hope as well as the fan-service. However, I still felt like the story had potential and I'd be lying if I said Luke's cameo didn't get me hyped for the next movie. As soon as the credits rolled for The Last Jedi though, I got the fuck out of that theatre as quickly as I could. It was so garbage that my mind still struggles to comprehend it and I haven't watched a Disney Star Wars movie since. The fact that people got hyped for the Rise of Skywalker was some of the most confusing shit I've ever seen, but it was satisfying seeing my friend complain about how shit the movie ended up being while I saved my money on something actually worthwhile.

Incredibly lazy. There are reasons people can suspend disbelief, and have that broken. It may not always be obvious but it's there. The Death Star needing to clear the planet in ANH is in reality silly but we accept it because it doesn't violate anything fundamental and it creates suspense.

He might as well have admitted "The Force Awakens is not a writing lesson."

Good example of anti-intellectualism too.

Does it mean that star wars sucks in general? With sound in space, with jets flying in space like they would do in atmosphere, with explosions in space, with always missing stormtroopers, light sabres that stop each other for some reason etc. There's a lot of fundamental logical and physical mistakes in all SW movies. In one of the ep of critic of last jedy Mauler said that lack of fuel doesn't matter, cos it's space and rebels would just continue moving with same speed. Yes, but enemies would gain a speed, rebels would have frozen to death or died because of lack of oxygen, because no system in real life can work without a fuel. Mauler isn't a scientist, same as most of his or movie's audience, people don't care about stuff like this while watching movies. Mauler didn't even think about it, tho he rewrote his script multiple times. So if mistakes do not bother you while you watching film - they don't matter in general Of course i would love movies to be correct, but if movie managed to fool me without me noticing - I don't care. Like honestly, who gives a shit how long Denethor in lotr run while he was on fire, it was a cool shot and despite me watching it countless of times - i still don't care about it. Tho i was thinking about hyper drive ram at last jedy and about this retardation, possible black holes, biggest explosions in history etc. Some movies just failing in fooling you. That's why not a lot of people care about Denethor running like 600 meters while he was on fire, but why a lot of people care about that light speed ram

@@yellowtunes2756 MauLer went on to explain why, unlike the scientific errors in the original 6, those in TFA actively damage the script. On its own, a scientific error in Star Wars is nothing new, but the execution and context of it is something else entirely.

yeah and that is not only that, Yoda knew and fought for them but di$ney did that and now they look like EMPIRE... oh.

I mean, he grieves them. Chewbacca was always a bit of a prop in the original trilogy to be honest. He was more Han Solo's faithful dog than a fully fleshed out character. For all its flaws I don't think the sequel trilogy's treatment of Chewbacca is up there at all.

@@mrboost4186 In the OT Chewbacca had his own opinions. He was loyal to Han, but he argued when he thought Han was wrong. He acted on his own initiative . He wasn't a full character( I would say more Han's sidekick than " faithful dog"). The Sequels , following The Force Awakens, make Chewie into Rey's driver and yes man, having no opinion, ideas, or initiative of his own.

But... he got a hug and a medal, so it's all good now, right??

*JJ Abrams thinks he's a fan of true Star Wars but he had Leia and Chewbacca ignore and not hug each other. He never saw Chewbacca as a character.*

Some people unironically do.

JJ and Ruin did try to conflate them...

@@aitchisondaniel TRY ? nah they did it

@@aitchisondaniel Do you mean Rian, as in Rian Johnson?

@@TheSaiyanPrincess89 no he meant Ruin, as in Ruin Johnson, as in he ruined star wars

he mentioned in a comment he will try to post it on the second channel, probably will take a while

Same

It's just beautiful tbh

The word that fits here is "iconic".

haha.. same xD. E;R hit the nail on its head there.

dude same ! absolute

Princess Rainbovvs X Musashi this isn’t halo, you silly sausage, this is Star Wars!

Lol

@managarm1349 indeed he does...and because i saw that dumpsterfire of a movie TFA is last time in preparation for Part 1 i´m afraid i have to start with this crappy movie again...jeeez, i need a drink...

Bruh I watched part 1 and 2 the last two days again just to make sure 😂😂

Yes. Watch parts 1 and 2 again. And the RoS rage. I've seen the entire TLJ series at least 10 times. I wish that one had 6 parts like this one.

@managarm1349 Longame bad

If only he had remembered that before furiously attacking a defenseless sleeping child because of a dream he had...

I didn’t understand your last sentence but I’ll gladly copy the first two paragraphs and use them, whilst adding how he emphasizes the importance of themes in the « efforts » being referred to, to silence the next mo... person who tells me that Mauler doesn’t care about themes.

Nathan Jora it’s from the last EFAP, the video they covered had a lot of the guy saying “for no reason!” when talking about the story and characters of the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

@@nathanjora7627 MauLer CARES? Must be gay. For clarity: It's a reference to the most recent EFAP. Guy they were criticizing said half of LotR happens 'For no reason', while 'Nough' is the onomatopoeic spelling of how Brits and Aussies say 'no'. Me saying MauLer must be gay for caring about something is because this same person they criticized kept implying that every character in LotR that showed any emotion, or cared for another character, was just gay. He particularly railed on Sam and Frodo's friendship for being gay. It was very weird and uncomfortable, and the whole panel was getting increasingly creeped out and defensive of gay people - I know, kinda weird coming from a bunch of homophobic alt-right nazis, huh?

@LeadFaun @Chase Moore @BigBroLittleSis1 @Spooplegeist You people are such massives

Convergence of the memes. Perhaps the spiders foretold of this power....

Well, at least MauLer as the creator of this saga is young enough to live long enough to actually finish it and give his current and future audience a completed saga. That is more than can be said about a certain famous fantasy author who is over 70, doesn't look particularly healthy and hasn't delivered the sixth installment of his (supposedly) seven-book series in 10 effing years.

@@thinkingdevil George is working on it! Just be patient...and ignore the fact that he's infamous for never finishing anything

Heard his going to sell the rights to the last 3 parts to disney

@@stephenramos2824 "I'm Rey." "Rey Who?" *Sees a Long, Welsh Force ghost in the distance.* "Rey Longman"

@@thinkingdevil What's up with those fantasy writers that never finish their work? I know GRRM is the infamous example, but another big one is Patrick Rothfuss, the author of Kingkiller Chronicle, who hasn't released the finale to a series for nearly ten years after the previous book was released. What's worse is that he has made it known that he already had a working rough draft by the time he published the first book in the series, The Name of the Wind, because he wrote the rough draft of the entire series before starting to publish books.

I get that vibe with everyone during the interview clips. I figured there was some embellishment during interview for films but it was very apparent here that the actors had to really reach to make things sound convincing.

*Sometimes I wonder if he actually believes that. I just don't understand what goes on in his head.*

I'm beginning to think J J Abrams might not even be his real name.

@@PaceBreaker The vibe I get is that everybody is on the verge of a nervous breakdown trying to make good on a $4 billion investment. As soon as people on social media complained there weren't enough women in the table read, they hurriedly stuffed Captain Phasma into some reshoots on Starkiller Base and Disney PR forced Christie to waffle about what a confident and powerful woman her one-scene, masked cameo was. That's how desperate they were to make everybody like this movie. The greasy fingerprints of studio interference are smeared all over this film, pushing all involved to both maximize nostalgia and be as forward-thinking as possible so it doesn't bomb and make the shareholders shit themselves. Though Abrams deserves some blame, he already proved he can do serialized storytelling 20 years ago, on Alias. And then Disney, the parent company of ABC, started to give him "notes", telling him to do away with the unique structure of the first season and slashing the episode count of the final season whilst telling him he couldn't mention the *main*mytharc* because it would be too confusing for new viewers. In the FINAL SEASON. There's a definite bitterness to the way Abrams describes how "we" cut the story of Luke's hand making its way across the galaxy. I'm willing to bet money that was a "note" from the studio.

he uses the word ''backstory'' as an euphemism for hardcore anal. now you can see him talk and make sense of it. you are welcome

Adam Wasiura Your prophet is thankful for you speaking of his name in a positive manner But he will show you no friendship

Adam Wasiura Than he is not to be trusted Why would he make objective tiles such as Solo is good you guys are mean Than be illogical That’s like listening to a priest who one minute prays to god than the next worships the devil No wonder he loved crylo

@Adam Wasiura I honestly can't tell if you are making one big meme or if you actually think you are bringing up a point in Cosmonauts defense

Adam Wasiura You really are shilling for him For his humor is to smug and passive aggressive for my tastes You really want a Medal of Honor for defending your prophet

@Adam Wasiura Then he shouldn't try to make a serious argument on his channel?

Like Markiplier releasing Happy Wheels part 2 6 years later (although Mark did lots of highlights in between)

One year*

He's been distracted keeping Rags relevent

Has it really been that long?

@@OneTrueVikingbard Mark? No, it hasn't been that long since he's done highlights. He recently released part 2 of his Let's Play, part 1 was one of his first videos

Not very realistic when said space janitor starts to wipe the floor with assault squad members of First Order.

The famed Austrian botanist himself!

Ouch Not that it helps

Morty Diamond I was part of an AT fire squad and took part of missions, mopped the floors as well. Everyone does everything in the infantry. If your gunner gets shot you aren’t going to cancel the battle because you don’t have training to use the gun.

@@zarlei6048 Combat off duties is one thing, but writer explicitly point out (by said character) that his specialty is sanitation. What leads me to closest thing on Earth - "UNIT FIELD SANITATION TEAM DUTIES. Role in military: is to aid the unit commander inprotecting the health of the command. This is accomplished by advising and assisting the commander in themany duties essential to reducing DNBI. By providing instruction and supervision, and assisting, inspecting, and reporting, the FST ensures that appropriate field sanitation facilities are established and maintained; thateffective sanitary and control measures are applied; and that effective PMM are practiced." And I don't see special training, diversion or recon, any sort of assault role in military ranks. What makes think, that director or writer made stupid joke in sake of doing it without reason for cheap laughts from degenerates who will find it funny. Disney - we avoid logic, reason or good writing like a plague for almost 20 years.

He didn’t even have to try it himself… He’s actually surprised of the effect of the gun, it’s like he hasn’t even seen Chewy use it. It’s such nonsense. Senile?

Don't worry. This movie isn't star wars. It means nothing

They were all trained wrong as a joke.

@@EatWave If you got an ass, I'll kick it!

Disney Star Wars is quite literally THE only group of writers who somehow botched the concept of "soldiers trained from birth", by not making said soldiers badasses in any way (hell, even the prequels did it right with clone troopers). You'd expect birth-trained soldiers to be some hardcore omega badasses like Warhammer Astartes marines, Halo Spartans and Elites, Lord of the Rings Uruk-Hai orcs, Gears of War COG soldiers, or 300 ancient Greek Spartans, not a bunch of useless clumsy cannon fodder. Usually, antagonist super soldiers have an introduction where said super soldier(s) absolutely destroy the protagonists (remember Ugluk in LOTR and how he beat the shit out of the fellowship?), then later when the characters grow stronger as fighters and people, can they fight these monsters. It makes the antagonists threatening while displaying character growth; it's an extremely simple, extremely old, extremely effective storytelling tool that's still to this way a treat to see...yet millionaire salary writers apparently aren't aware of this.

They should have been Smoke Jaguar with elemental suits.

JJ: Well I did say they were trained at birth, but by birth I meant... Rebirth... as Stormtroopers, and they were trained to obey their commanding officers and when we see them fighting Phasma's not there to order them as a force multiplier... Fan's who've twigged JJ is a salesmen: Uh huh... But shouldn't they still be good at their job because they... 'TRAINED?!?' JJ: Well as we see training isn't the focus as much as it's who you are... Fan's: ... ARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!

Khalil Hines tryttt

Khalil Hines then

The number of times the old guard desperately try to stay politic by playing old and senile is telling.

I wonder at those clips, particularly the fans. Why do they laugh when Harrison Ford says he's not looking forward to watching Solo? Or all of those times Mark Hamill lays it out? How is any of that funny? What weird ass people those fans are.

Kathleen Kennedy has the loudest and most incriminating fake laughs of all during the press conferences when Hamill and others give it away that they screwed things up. Hinting that she knows the movies are shit and destroy the franchise.

I like this comparison.

Yes. This is true.

God you're right. Like T2:3D Battle Across Time. Fun ride, total bollocks derivative fanservice plot that undermines the prior movies if you take it as canon.

Makes sense.

TFA was such a bizarre movie for me. Having seen A New Hope so many times over the years, The Force Awakens was such an empty experience for me. I all times I no idea what I was suppose to be feeling because it was a total rip off of a movie I already knew by heart. I left the theater feeling drained when it was over. If they wanted a theme park ride, they should have called Star Tours: The Force Awakens, expectation would have matched what they were trying to do then. If your going to make a Star Wars movie, it better be a Star Wars movie and not Turkish Star Wars.

I know, I wasn't expecting this.

I’ve already watched it three times.

@@zarlei6048 were you bored though?

Consulting the spiders lmao

Rag is objectively the worst EFAP. In my opinion.

That’s what she said.

Thats what she said

I disagree, too short

That’s whats she said

Size does matter.

Oh, my sweet summer child... Rian doesn't do rewrites. He's too lazy for that.

@@occam7382 I didn’t suspect it was him, but one of the several others that were brought in to turn his work into something resembling a movie.

I think you could do have done some interesting stuff with that. Like, make the First Order believe that the destruction of the Hosnian system was an ultra-precise shot to the heart and gloat about it as they prepare to destroy the Resistance at the start of TLJ, but have the resistance saved by a hastily gathered Republic fleet. Spend a bit more time showing the Republic divided and squabling in the TFA before hand and you could even play it up as the First Order's actions backfiring, as their brutal attack reminded the Republic of the Empire days and galvanized the remaining squabling factions into a laser focused force intent on preventing a return of the Empire. Maybe this hastily cobbled together Republic fleet then gets in trouble because it overextends in an attempt to wipe out the First Order, pushing too far without having a proper organizational supply structure to fall back on, a structure that was damaged by the Hosnian system's destruction, emphasizing that the attack was still devastating even if not a death blow.

He's finally done having sex with Rags. Since they're both gay. FOR NO REASON.

TheSlammurai nough it’s spelt nough

@@Oi-fo1wt nouh

@@TheSlammurai Mauler left Rags's to rot in Mordor

@@TheSlammurai I think I will be able to provide you the details for your reference in a couple more tests as well in current status for the house anyway as they are shite and I have been unable and unable and I have not been paid for the lockdown Halloumi and my my I have son who is in the office today for my medical insurance and my wife will not have any of the following items as I have a genuine query to help out as they are a very large number of her friends with they all over their house a lot in whom she will have to stay at home for the day but she is very busy at work and she is away from home until after Easter and will be back next Tuesday night for a few days so hopefully will get get the rest in a couple of weeks for her if she's OK though so if we could arrange for the house to stay for the night and then come down and pick up your dog from work then just come down with a few favourite people from here in a row though so we can have a nice lunch with your family and friends for a pint in the evening and evening for lunch or something else in the morning or evening Sunday afternoon or Thursday evening if you want me to pop round else or something like a coffee or coffee evening lunch at the moment and aim at a bit more of a shit year lunch time or old time off then please don't forget your birthday wishes on your Sunday evening or evening when you want the money in the morning and the money is available at your convenience so that we could have the money to focus the night at your convenience to make your trip back home for your message and then slander the day off the weekend before we lunch out at your hotel for the night as we will probably be going down a lot and we have some free time in a few days and I hope that you will be OK for the rest of the day as well as well just a few weeds and you will have a nice sunny weather too but I on Thursday for the lockdown food day so no worries about the snow at home by her home next week's time to come home with the girls and her baby and her baby wife who is the best thoughts ever for the night though and she will be at home and a family home now so I'll have her on the bus at the end of the month and then I'll come back to her with the other day but no worries at home now and the rest of the week and the rest are OK now so I'll probably come tomorrow morning and I'll pop round for the lockdown Hthe way off then as I will be back from the evening of the morning and will be back in the morning anof the evening of the season bragjob and the rest of us will be back from Sunday night and Sunday night at a pub in the evening and a few beers in the evening and a few ging is there for the rest are a few days away from the airport and the flight is just for an airline to be with the fliin advance in the morning and we will be able to cos we will be able to provide a taxi service to your hotel for a day and two weeks of notice of the flight and we will gflying and bable to visit our family 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bill for the property to be paid in full in a couple of weeks ago and the council tax will be paid by the tenant to the property to let them all the information contained in the council tax letter and the proof of payment for the lockdown Halloumi is the deposit deposit and the deposit deposit will in the meantime as I have now received the deposit from the bank and will be returning the deposit to the bank tomorrow as I have a genuine query regarding my order and have DM'd my deposit back for I have been before the I have been before and enjoyed the holiday and the fact that I have not because of the season ticket holders in the UK and the ongoing protests across the world has gone through the roof withblue and the car out ofthe has been cut and has a few of us in the office today to be with us in the office at the moment but we have a couple of questions for you to arrange arrange the viewings for the rest of the season bragging cos I'm 4 points ahead of the meeting so I'll probably 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There are no janitors in a military. Yiu gotta keep your grunts occupied with swabbing toilets, otherwise they might grow bored, and thats dangerous.

What's funny is I'm a janitor on the civilian side and am in the military. That part hurt lmao.

Why not give citizenship to millions of illegals so we can send them to war against china.

@@cmreel Skeletor: WAT?

To be fair In real life every Marine and Soldier is a janitor. We didn't have people cleaning up for us when I was in.

And then Vader proceeded to choke him out in front of everyone to prove just how wrong he was.

For all we know she was in the bathroom, trying to shit. Taco Bell will do that to you. 🤷‍♂️

@@notacompleteidiot...1285 A union dispute with her digestive system then?

Maz's Third Cantina will last for a thousand years.

But she's a strong character! A female even!

I couldn't even tell if the joke was being legitimate (since the Cantina was destroyed and thus several people there would be out of work) or an obvious euphemism for criminal dealings (since it was violent and she had obvious unlawful connections based on dealing with Han).

Wait. Don't flush it yet

"We need the turd for the dyad!" Bilbo Schmellinn

nooooooo, it went to the poop dimension

@@amanibob1416 call amber, we need more turds.

Absolute mad respect for trusting your Friend enough to make it this far in in the first place ❤

At least she's not a gay Hobbit. For no reason.

fOr NoAu RaIsEn!

I didn't even know that she sniffed on Chewie's fur. D:

@@TheSlammurai Did you just assumed its gender?

From my point of view it is you who should not be drinking while he says such things!

Rey is flat. Poorly casted and written.

God, I got flashbacks to that damn video. That was agony.

"And I've got blue hair!"

@Winston Smith Nough!

@Lol Umadbro The "Lord of the Ring s is bad" video. The commentary is great! The video being analysed is the worst kind of ignorant trash. It's where "For No Reason!" is coming from.

@Foster Deming You make a good point. That's incredible. I try to think of the most ridiculous example I can, and I fail. It is literally worse than my example because more oblivious hobbits might still know him as the guy who inherited the Baggins estate, since it's a sizeable one

So JJ and Rian are Sackville-Bagginses?

@@critterray6742 I wouldn't put the Sackville-Bagginses down like that...

“Aragorn! The king of Gondor?” “Uh, no, the ranger from the north.”

Frodo baggins? The former 2nd best potato farmer in the shire? What an honor!

I agree, good drinker sir

It will be fine

Go away now

Collab with Brie Larson, when? ;)

Brie Larson wants your location.

He talked about the line for longer than the line itself was. So its subjectively objective. In my opinion, any way.

Not long enough

@@TheSlammurai but long rhino man bad