a critique on ‘love stories’ in literature - why I hate reading romance 

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i just wanna add something about what you said about Little Women. It is one of my favorite books, but I too was disappointed that Jo ended up married with kids. But, like the 2019 film touches upon, Louisa May Alcott didn’t want Jo to marry, but she was forced to write in that ending by her publishers in order for the book to sell. Not taking away from your point at all - just thought it was an interesting piece of information.

seeing 'disclaimer' spelt wrong is my worst nightmare come true. proofread your work kids. I must stand by my decision to not have done that now

Sally Rooney and Colleen Hoover are NOT on the same level

As someone who doesn't really like straight up romance,I like Sally Rooney's books, although I feel like normal people is less of a romance and more of a contemporary character study. However I agree with the coho is overrated slander and opinions

the show "heartstopper" that recently came out on netflix is probably the first lgbtq+ inclusive, non-toxic romance i've ever watched (it's based on alice oseman's books), so there is hope contemporary work is gonna head in a different direction :)

Learning a lot from all your comments and I am happy to stand corrected when it comes to Rooney and Hoover being incomparable genre wise! Like I said, this was a first impressions induced stream of consciousness, and this was my first work from both authors. That aside, I’m really enjoying reading what you all have to say :)

i also tried listening to the it ends with us audiobook, and it reads like a wattpad story 💀 those names only add to my claim cause wtf is lily bloom

"Writing is a lonely art." damn, that hit deep

I will just say that Normal People is not a romance nor is it supposed to be. It is about interhum an relationships and not just romantic ones. It's about the two characters as people and how flawed they are.

I want a video on how to annotate books specifically from Dakota

I think there's a fundamental difference between books falling in the romance genre VERSUS books which involve love as a theme or plot point - an important distinction which you do not seem to adequately make in this video. I am not a fan of Normal People but I do think it's generally classified as contemporary fiction/literary fiction because it attempts to have discussions about different themes like class, for instance. On the other hand, contemporary romance genre books tend to follow a very similar structure - the two leads meet, buildup, they get together, third act conflict, resolution. Which is why I find a lot of them dreadfully predictable. Comparing books like Anna Karenina to romance genre books is like comparing apples to oranges. I also think critiquing romance as a genre needs to go beyond points about how it's not realistic (why is realism a parameter for determining quality?) or how it'll affect impressionable young people. These criticisms are somewhat reductive in my opinion, and remind me of old arguments about how video games make people violent. While I do see the harm media can do, especially if the toxicity is portrayed as desirable, we do younger audiences and readers of romance a disservice by presuming they automatically aspire towards portrayals of romance/toxic romance. Romance is and has usually been about escapism. That being said thank you for the video, made me think about a lot of interesting points! (Will be ruminating on your point about love being a learned behaviour for a long LONG TIME).

Girl there's a lot of pretty good and non-problematic romance books out there, you just need someone with decent taste to give you recommendations. Don't rely on booktok, lmao 🤣🤣 I completely agree with you about Colleen Hoover's writing. Her books (And other books like After, Fifty Shades of Grey, etc.) are a disgrace to the romance genre and I think it's a shame romance writers like her get so much fame and book sales, while the writers who create actually meaningful, poignant and non-problematic romance stories just go under the radar.

although I entirely agree that it ends with us is marketed incorrectly I have to disagree that it romanticises domestic abuse. When reading, it completely opened my eyes and shed a new light on the topic for me. And I have to give massive credit to Colleen for writing in such a way that makes me feel such strong emotions for lily when struggling with domestic violence. As for little women Louisa may Alcott was unable to publish her book unless Jo was given a ‘happy ending’ which shows how limiting creative writing must have been for women during that time. I completely agree with a lot of your opinions but just thought I’d share some of mine :)

What you said about toxicity in romance is so true. Don’t even get me started on After and it’s counterparts, and the damage it’s doing to the youth who read it. It all markets abuse and drama like that’s normal.

let out the most inhuman scream when i spotted heartstopper in the book pile [GO STREAM HEARTSTOPPER WE NEED S2]

I don't particularly adore or loathe the romance genre. For me it's never about the actual romance, I just enjoy seeing how the minds of each characters work. I also see most romance novels being between two white, cisgender, heterosexual people, and that gives absolutely no representation for a whole lot of the human population. While there are books that centre around romance I enjoy (heartstopper, as an example), it's usually only because a certain demographic is being represented, and that is so important especially for young and impressionable people, as they're the ones who consume every line of these books as if their life depends on it.

as an aromantic person who has not come to terms with their identity, i cannot allow myself to enjoy romance, especially contemporary. this is my own personal experience, and i’m sure there are many aromantic people who enjoy romance and are happy with people feeling romance towards them, but this is not me. i am very glad you made this video, the same way that i was ecstatic when you previously mentioned that you do not like romance books, because this is a breath of fresh air for me when the most popular theme on booktube and booktok is romance books or other genre books containing romance as a main plotline. i would also like to say that i agree with many of the points made in this video. perhaps if our society did not glorify romance so much- and typically the type of romance that is glorified is not healthy and encourages prioritising romance over all else- i could enjoy romance yet not feel the need to despise myself for not being able to experience it. this is amatonormativity, i know it and it is the bane of my existence. also, if the romance genre was more inclusive to lgbtq+ identities, i would probably enjoy it more, because i am also non binary and a lesbian along with being aromantic and i would love to be able to explore the other aspects of my identity in fiction.

the problem i have with most contemporary romance books that are being published these days is the fact that the books and the authors are so focused on the smut and the sexual tension and not on, to me what makes a romance story a good story, the development and the growth the characters go through not only during their relationship but also their personal growth. Personally i believe a good romance story is about two people who have gone through a change, a personal development and challenges and are together because of it. Idk if im explaining it correctly but basically a romance book should be a “character based” book and not really a “plot based” story. Like the characters romantic relationship shouldn’t be the main point but whether their romantic relationship should be the consequence of whatever character growth the characters went through if that make sense ??? An example of what im talking about is the book Seven Days in June, thats an amazing romance book and its a good romance book because the author focused on the characters’ trauma, emotions and things that they went through that affected how the characters reacted and behaved and thus how it affected the development of the romance. But nowadays these romance authors are just focusing on the smut aspect and the sex scenes, every thing else come afterwards…if they come at all

Girl i love you but Sally Rooney and Colleen Hoover are trying to do totally different things, Sally Rooney is a literary fiction author, she is nominated for literary prizes, she isn't writing genre fiction, and she experiments with the novel form in BWWAY in homage to classics / epistolary writing in such a clever modern way, and her characters are not inherently feminist or morally sound because she is exploring the reality of modern dating and relationships, don't listen to the kids on the internet who lump her in with the romance authors I beg you (no hate to contemporary romance or to you for not liking it, but I am so tired of seeing her work misrepresented online just because her plots centre young people in love, a topic that is so commonly de-intellectualised that she is trying to work against by showing where it can have intellectual merit). Sorry for the essay lmao I just also have so many thoughts on this

I guess I'm a bit confused about what is considered a romance novel. To me, a romance novel is one with the intention of romantically arousing the reader, as opposed to just being a book with a love story in it. (I work at a book store and we sort Colleen Hoover in the romance section and Sally Rooney in the literature section, so maybe I'm biased from repeated exposure to a specific way of categorizing genre). So, personally I find romance novels boring but there being relationships or love stories in other literature or genre fiction is something I often find interesting. A good example would be 1Q84 by Haruki Murakami which is this big ass book with a lot going on, but ultimately in many ways it's this epic love story where you're hoping to see two people finally come together in the end. But I would really not consider it romance at all. On the point of Little Women: Alcott's publisher pretty much forced her to end the book like that, which is why the 2019 movie is actually probably the best version of the story because it incorporates that issue in a very interesting and creative way that preserves Alcott's original vision.

Modern day Mr Rochester would shout “SO NO HEAD??” And punch a hole in the wall

Classical romances are always going to have misogynistic undertones to us but at the time it would have made a great impact. It is the small steps. After those female writers of the past made that small step, female writers now can write more freely. I believe that maybe there is something behind the scenes that we do not know, after all the publishing of a book does not only involve the author so maybe there were misogynistic people involved in the publishing which ended up forcing the author to change things like making Jo get married and have children. As for contemporary romance, I definitely agree with you that representation is very bad among the most famous stories but deep down there are hidden gems that have great diversity. As for the romanticising of abuse in It ends with us, I do agree that other contemporary books romanticise this but I think It ends with us was marketed wrongly as a love triangle story and it completely is not. I love Booktok but I would have to blame booktok for always displaying It ends with us as a love story with people discussing whether they like Atlas or Ryle but I think who we should concentrate on is not them but rather Lily who is real hero in the story. BUT there are ways the book is slightly problematic. BTW Dokota, you said you are not romantic so I guess I should cancel our wedding preparations.

I only read romance books bc it seems like writers don’t ever write lesbian rep without it being a romance but Jesus Christ do het romances freak me out. Honestly, it was one of the things that helped me realize I was a lesbian because I could not for the life of me understand what was so sexy about these toxic, misogynistic tropes in the male mcs. And it actually makes me upset when WOMEN say it doesn’t matter if the tropes are misogynistic…as if the patriarchy isn’t continuously enforced because it’s ALL around us and so accepted, especially in media. This probably sounds like a nonsensical rant but anyway that’s my add on to this discussion

I feel like many romance classics just aren't romance and aren't supposed to be. Yes, they center around a relationship but that doesn't necessarily mean they want to be romantic. For example, Anna Karenina is more supposed to comment on the double standards and absurdity of imperial Russian society - and after all, a tragedy.

"It ends with us" by Colleen Hoover made me so furious. Especially as I am an abuse survivor myself. It's beyond realistic and while writers should express themselves in their own way,they should be conscious about their target audience. I agree that the topic is important to talk about but the execution was horrible. First of all: the main characters have some severe childhood trauma, yet are almost immediately successful in their life without therapy. This seems rather unrealistic and leaves a dangerous message to her target audience (yound adults). Let me jump to the main issue (sorry,my brain is all over the place): The abuse. It bothered the hell out of me that Lily did not report Ryle. It gave me the message of "yeah report the abuser UNLESS he has a child and it could ruin his career"... really? This message to young adults? Wow... Excuses for rambling and ignoring my usual capabilities of English.

i am genuinely holding in a deep breath rn seeing u about to critique one of my absolute faves 😳

the reason i don’t like contemporary romantic literature is that the ideals are either incredibly unrealistic, read like a watt pad story or plain boring. granted, there are a few “romantic” novels that i do find pleasing, but it’s not the romantic aspect per se, rather the self exploration within the romantic dynamics.

I don't like the fantasy men characters that women usually write in modern romance stories. The author has some ideological clutch and since they want to like their own characters, the love interests must be written to not conflict with it. You end up with nonchalant guys, who are made to be so above the going ons of the world that they just happen to disregard the issue they would logically have to take a conflicting position in. Oh and the love interests of course have to be at least 1 inch above average male height, no way around it. Thankfully every guy the world is above the average guys height :P

I think that love can be beautiful, terrifying, horrible, and many things in between, but the contemporary romance that generally appeals to the teenage demographic illustrates the love they initially saw and learned(abuse, divorce, all the fun stuff). Many of us retained this concept of love by seeing it end; maybe that's why this younger demographic thrives off toxic romanticized erotica. The love we learned wasn't really love at all. I'm not sure why there's an entire community of teenagers and young adults(and even married women) devoted to this genre of 'love stories' but I hope they all get to feel and see love as what it can be. It can be so much more than a 200-page novel comprised of jealousy, toxicity, and sex.

I know it's not a book, but in my opinion the movie "Portrait de la jeune fille en feu" really sat the standard for romance. Big recommendation from a fellow romance-critiquer.

I am a big romantic at heart but I kinda agree with some of your takes! I stay away from contemporary romance because the plot sound very dull and boring, that's why I love historical and fantasy romance as they usually have more interesting plotline.

I just loved that! Thank you for your stream of consciousness - it felt like talking with a close friend or listening to a podcast, which is fulfilling. Wishing you all the best ❤️‍🔥

Hi, I want to hear your take on my opinion of Jane Eyre. I personally believe that Bertha is a symbol of a part of Jane that needs to die down in order for her to reach "enlightenment". The first time she attempts on marrying Mr Rochester, Jane is still relatively "submissive", she isn't considered an "equal" to Mr Rochester and her wilder untamed side is still there. Notice that Bertha only appears in the novel when Jane is having doubts or is perplexed, Bertha symbolises the wild side of Jane that isn't allowing her to become "better". So when Bertha dies in the fire it symbolises the wilder side of Jane dying and shows that she has reached enlightenment and is now ready to marry Mr Rochester as she is now equal to him. What do you think?

wake up girlies, lady dakota has posted x

Thank you! I agree so much! I brought up some of these points about Jane Eyre in my class when I was 16. No other students wanted to discuss and my teacher said something alone the lines of “you are going to be a handful”. Seeing how it is 15 years later and I still remember that I would say that it was pretty impactful. That was meant to tell me there was something wrong with me for not swooning at the abuse and opportunistic nature of Mr. R. Stay strong! We can demand better representations! Or better yet, we can create our own!

the way Dakota puts her glasses on is adorable. I also relate to the thoughts on romance genre in general, she greatly and easily expressed the logic behind the unsatisfaction, which I feel, when I read a fanfiction or a book, which is centered on love only.

I have a newfound love for romance book this year idk why? even the cringey ones just give it all to me I will read it because I am an adult and I am only reading for pure entertainment and not for self reflection

I do hope that Heartstopper is an exception from this discussion as I poured my heart out reading the series! And yes, the timestamps are helpful, thank you :)

You're so eloquent and well-versed!!🤍

you should do a podcast!! i love hearing your thoughts and the way you express them

okay so i don’t agree with everything you’ve said 😭 but hey it’s still interesting to hear from someone else’s view. i am a romantic but i think i’m still picky w/ my romance novels though. i’ve read colleen hoover to try to understand the hype and i don’t like them. i also don’t like most young adult or new adult romance novels. some of the ones that i liked are thus included; jane austen novels, norwegian wood, and actually the grishaverse books (which is young adult surprisingly but i like the escapism) to name a few. it’s a bit all over the place.. don’t know what that say about me 😌

Ohhh Dakota you speak my thoughts… I hate romance but everyone on RU-vid loves it so I feel like I have to love it too… and to see so many agree with you is just chefs kiss ❤

as an aroace, i can’t read any romance books because sometimes it’s “too slow” or “too fast” or “maybe writer doesn’t see the love as i see” and 15:46 as you said “is it me? am i the problem” lol i loved the video and your look!!

I do think that toxicity, abuse and the dark side of love is a real part of a lot of relationships. Good, bad or in the middle, it is there.

I'm a big romance fan, but I followed you instantly during this video! Your opinions are so valid, and you pointed out so many issues that I have found with the genre. When you read contemporary romance enough, you just realize how they all follow the same formula.

Your use of words is refreshing Love your content

adored this video! i had a similar reaction to normal people and generally could not understand its cult status. i wanted to ask you about your opinions on call me by your name, assuming you’ve read it. marketed as a coming of age romance, to me it was anything but. the substantial and significant age difference between the focal characters is a key factor that makes it not a romance for me. also while reading it, the story came across as a toxic sexual infatuation and certainly not a love that should be idealised or desired. i wanted to hear you take on this considering the views you expressed in your video. though i must say, aciman’s writing was incredible. have a nice day :)

She expresses herself so well

God, I'm so glad I found you. I recently started trying to read more contemporary literature and I feel the same every time I encounter a "romantic" story that I thought wasn't going to be one based on the synopsis...It doesn't meant that I don't love romance, it's just not what I want out of EVERY book that I read. At first I was kind of surprised by your content but I have come to love it! Can't wait to read more of your recommendations.

You describing love as a learned experience was life changing ✨✨✨

Thank you for this video aaaaa 💗

I have to say: my relationship with romance books is intensely love/hate. It is part of the wider sense that art (and literature as a part of that) at this historical moment is of relatively low quality. I think there is quite a small minority of writers that are excellent, Vuong being the first to jump to mind (who does write about romantic relationships though it is never positioned fully in the foreground and is generally in service of other themes). Capitalism greatly incentivises writers to become factories that write formulaic narratives and otherwise uninspiring drivel-I truly despise novels like this. But I am also extremely interested in the construct of love, which is often a reason to hate romances. I believe the majority of romance novels are highly uncritical of the notion of love-it is simply an ‘obvious’ foundation upon which the ‘interesting plot’ sits. But au contraire! Love is anything but simple! And the ‘interesting plot’ fails to actually demonstrate this the majority of the time. I loved Normal People: it is indeed about normal people, and normal people are flawed and have highly complex emotions, and I think Rooney continually destabilises the concept of love itself. I do not think it is already a given variable in Normal People. And unfortunately we do operate in a terribly sexist society, and it is deeply sad that Marianne has these masochistic desires due to (I believe) the sexism present in society. But nowhere in that is love presented as simple. On the contrary, it is something incredibly large, something almost incomprehensible. And she allows this incomprehensible force to win, for us to live our fantasy that it exists at all. I love it for that, and I think more like it should be produced. Because love is toxic at the moment, because it is such a nebulous concept, because we are strange creatures. I think romance novels are in general terrible. I think they shy away from what is at the heart of the genre: love. I think they try to substitute exploration with wish fulfilment to distract us that they don’t say much. I think they are uncritical. I think romance novels are still worth reading, and that I love romance novels.

I love you for this video. I read Colleen Hoover's Verity and for the first time in my life wanted to burn the book just to have one less in the world. The "protagonist" chick was so frustrating. There was nothing in it close to resembling romance, love or even infatuation. It was a bad porno in my opinion. In the end it tried to pull a Shutter Island twist but at that point no one cared. Maybe she was trying to emulate Jane Eyre who knows. But the end result was just lacking on all accounts. Maybe romantic novels are frilly and foolish, but at least reading those wouldn't make me want to stop reading all together as Verity did for a couple of hopeless seconds.

You basically put all my thoughts on romance into eloquent words (I could never!) I have an issue with romance, but whether it's because the popular novels are too cliche or I can't be bothered to read 200+ pages about two characters being in love with each other, I don't know. Maybe both. There is only a few I actually liked: The Song of Achilles (I'm curious what you think of it), Maurice (also curious what you think of it), and the one that is underrated among dark academics - These Violent Delights by Micah Nemerever (not the one by Chloe Gong, they're same titles but completely different), which is more about self-hate, depression and obsession rather than love (which is purposefully done because the characters, both queer, are deluded) and not the typical romance. I guess I can't relate to female characters in romance novels so I rather read something personally unrelatable like those three books.

i am one that does not enjoy reading romance too, and before this video, i could never explain to my friends why. ily for this enlightenment into your mind!

literally about to read both books. I've only heard good things about them, so listening to you will definitely make me go in with a different mindset. I was ready to love both, but we'll see now, maybe you will subconsciously influence me on disliking them :)

I really loved this video. Ty for saying what I feel perfectly 👌🏽

YOUR EDITING !! 🤌🏻♥️

Bless you 🙏 As a fellow romance genre hater I am so happy to see a booktuber with the same ideas!

I love you Dakota, I truly do. But I know you didn’t just compare Sally Rooney to Colleen Hoover. I refused to believe that you put the queen of my heart, Ms. Rooney on the same level as Colleen Hoover. Ms. Sally Rooney’s books are a masterpiece. Masterpiece I tell ya

I’m really curious about this video since I’ve read two sally rooney books (normal people and CWF) and I found them so... average. Part of me wishes I actually liked the books because of how much people loved it but I don’t. It’s particularly a hit or miss for me when it comes to romance literature. I prefer the show when it comes to Normal People. As for Colleen Hoover, it’s so far out of my genre, I know it’s popular amongst booktok but something about it (and I’m gonna be brutally honest) reminds me of wattpad fanfiction

i do enjoy reading romance (although mainly queer), however i love this and i definitely agree! it’s something i honestly haven’t thought much about before, but it seems very obvious now you have pointed it out

This was honestly so refreshing to watch as someone who also dislikes romance novels. Literally agreed with every point you made. And in all honesty, I'm not opposed to toxic storylines when they are acknowledged as toxic storylines. As you mentioned most romance novels glorify the toxicity or diminish the gravity of it just to push the "true love" narrative. It's frustrating and annoying.

As a fan of romance novels, I really enjoyed this video because it's interesting to see the same works from a completely different perspective. For example Anna Karénina, that book has so many different emotions and facets for me, that I don't consider it only a romance novel but a full portrait of the life of the characters and their emotions and personalities. I adore being transported to that world that is full of love and beauty, but that is what makes it a personal opinion, because other people may enjoy being transported to more dark or realistic worlds. I agree with the opinion that most times romance novels are written from a patriarchal point of view even when trying to be feminist, and that is very annoying sometimes, but there are still a lot of aspects from these books that can be enjoyed for me. Also I've never read modern romance so I'm only talking about classics here! Nice video, I always enjoy hearing your opinions

Considering your opinions on Jane Eyre, I suggest you try “Wide Saragasso Sea” by Jean Rhys. It’s the story told from the perspective of the woman in the attic. Her descriptions of the Caribbean in the story’s beginning are so lush - you’ll feel like you’re there

I stopped watching when the uploads got shorter because I genuinely savour every one of your videos and I had to have one available at all times. I too struggle with romance and have gently been trying to step into the genre. I also appreciate that you acknowledge you don’t enjoy the genre but that is somewhat based on personal reasons. I adore fantasy, but to those who don’t even the most beautifully written novel may not excite them. And yes, I am trying to sound smarter because you have encouraged me to use my University vocabulary in my everyday life. 😂

you elegantly put my thoughts on the romance genre into words--i have largely avoided the genre for as long as i can remember and a lot of your thoughts and feelings about it line up with mine. i'm glad you made this video so i know i'm not just a bitter person who hates romance LOL

I love romance books but I agree that it does have its problems. There is nothing wrong with hating or liking romance. I wish people would stop bashing others for it. I'm glad you made this video. Everyone's opinion deserves to be heard.

I'm so happy the romance novel hater girls are getting some representation...I'm like the only person I know who will never willingly pick up a romance novel so thank u for this one queen

For me, it depends, and it also depends on what you’re looking for in the moment. I think it ends with us and coho are so overrated

THE HEARTSTOPPER BOOK IN THE BACKGROUND OMG

you could literally make a 30 min video ranting on vegetables and i would 100% watch the entire thing bc i love your voice and the way you choose the words to express things idk

hii dakota, would you ever consider doing a video on tips for writing poetry?

sooo glad i found ur channel !! i feel like we have v similar taste in books

I’ve considered Jane Eyre a favorite of mine since I read it (uncritically) when I was, like, sixteen but damn you raised some fine good points! Ah well, kill your darlings and whatnot ❤️

Hello, I am new on this channel 🙋🏻‍♀️ I just want to point out something: you have such a quiet and relaxing voice and I think the music breaks between subjects in this video are kind of agressive sounding in comparison. Thank you, hope you give this a thought in the future. Looking forward to watching more of your videos since I've recently started reading myself.

I read quite a few modern love/romance/smutty books on book lovers recommendations online like the ‘Haunting Adeline’ series for example and good God 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ you’re so right about the toxic aspects of some of them! Like the above series, really swooning over a creepy stalker who doesn’t let us have much control at all over who we want to be around or even what we want to do in the bedroom is so strange to me, they try to redeem him with the whole side of him being a kind of saviour for abused women and children which would usually make me his number one fan but I just can’t excuse the weird stalkery behaviour part of him which is so full on! I just don’t see the appeal of some of the most awful people in these books or the desire some people have to find a man like that who sounds absolutely repellent to me personally but obviously different strokes for different folks! 🤷‍♀️😂

love the music choice~

Lady Dakota, I would love to hear your thoughts on the „heart stopper” series, implying that it includes a love story.

Finnally someone articulated my exact thoughts 😭

I really enjoyed your video 😍😍

this video made me think, which i appreciate, and i hope no one minds that i'm leaving my thoughts in this comment section where they will likely go unread by anyone :) having read a lot of classic romance and almost no contemporary romance, your takes on both are.. interesting to me. i wondered why you chose to talk about jane eyre and anna karenina, both books which could be considered to be about More than romance, or at least that i didn't think of as romance novels when i read them. while there is indeed romance in both, i found jane eyre to be firstly a gothic novel, and anna karenina to be firstly a drama about marital infidelity. i would have liked to hear your thoughts on jane austen novels, which are pretty strictly romances and i think prove your point about gender roles more. i really can't speak to the contemporary romances part of it, since you seem to focus on heterosexual romances, which i avoid like the plague (romance does not digust me, but straight romances do). while i agree that young readers can be easily influenced by the themes in romance novels, i think that adult readers should be, i hope, trusted to not conflate fiction with reality. it is my experience that most people know that the situations and relationships presented in contemporary romances are not realistic or display the most normal or healthy relationships (if they were normal or healthy, would anyone read about them?). so i wouldnt call romance novel-induced disillusionment a really pressing problem for us right now. anyways, im glad i got those ramblings out of my system. good video :)

The first and only romance book I have read as an adult is Talia Hibert's Get a Life Chloe Brown. Considering your points I am now really interested in your opinion on it as it doesn't have any toxic elements yet it didn't fail to engross me. I found the characters really well thought out driving the plot instead of it dragging them along. If you happen to read it mention your thoughts on a video I am curious.

This speaks to my soul! Also, I'd really like to know your thoughts in queer romance books... I don't know I just think that there's so much to talk about those books disrupt the gender roles in contemporary romance. Loved this!

i'd also love to hear your opinion on sally rooney's conversations with friends

hey dakota!! i love your video but would you be willing to try reading some more diverse romance novels and tell us ur thoughts? you sorta picked up the most basic heteronormative white cisgender "romance" novels ever, which is sadly what is trending right now but i promise there are other novels that have smaller fan clubs that represent a myriad of demographics in terms of sexuality, ethnicity and inner turmoils. also i completely agree with how impressionable young girls will read these "romance novels" and won't be able to identify what is healthy/unhealthy (this is a predominant issue i have with it ends with us but i have a whole list of reasons why the book is SOOO PROBLEMATIC) and have a skewed perception of love based on what the media has glorified and shoved down all our throats. i'm hoping u can do an update on this if u ever devide to revisit the genre and this topic xx (p.s i love me some it ends with us hate so pls reply so we can discuss)

I used to read a lot of romance books but now i have started avoiding them a little bit. I feel like the books have the same plot and tropes, they are just different variations of each other and that started to annoy and bore me. Its very hard to find a romance book which is genuinely unique and has a great plot without it focusing on the smut. I loved normal people and it ends with us. Normal people because for me it highlights how relationships nowadays work and the general miscommunication and toxicity. Whereas it ends with us is not a romance book. It focuses on the character being abused, her reactions to abuse and how she got out of it which was amazing to read about because normally i and a lot of people say that the person should have gotten out of an abusive relationship but we dont really know what goes on their mind and this book helped me understand that.

I inherently agree however I will say normal people is marketed as literary fiction and not a romance

I love how no matter how little my adhd has to do with why I watch or follow someone 90% of my favourite youtubers and people on twitter still turn out to have adhd at the end. I love audiobooks tho. But I use them as background noise for when I knit or sew or paint And then I listen to it over and over again

Dakota i would love if you did a video on how you anotate your books (i know there's like a million of these videos on youtube already,) but i'm curious as to what it is that you take into account and care to anotate!

are there any romance books you do like? i would love to know

I wish I could annotate your videos. Lady Dakota, you have very interesting ideas and beliefs.

i completely agree with most of what you have said. I read it ends with us, and it was ok, but sort of felt like a hallmark film. I read Red, White, and Royal Blue, and I enjoyed it, but it more felt like a fun romcom. I am generally much more interested ni books that include murder and intrigue.

Fascinating indeed!!

I listen to a lot of romance audiobooks- because I also get distracted really easily and contemporary romance is generally trope-y/predictable enough that even if I miss a second or two I’m not lost- and I can honestly count the number of romance books that I’ve liked on one hand. It’s just not my genre and at this point I really need to find some new audiobook material

Mmmmmmmmm yes spill the tea sister ☕️

i have to agree, especially in films - I love the idea of watching a good romance and consider myself a romantic but everytime I try watch something I get bored. I think my favourite romances are usually accompanied with another plot (E.g. song of achilles/ percabeth in percy jackson etc.)

Honestly this is an interesting perspective. I got some points that I am probably going to be thinking about for a while. I do not dislike romance literature but I am indifferent to it. :D

that is such a reductive take on jane eyre.