Moving interview Josh - Don't know if the video is edited but sounds a lot like you rushing the guests a bit. Gotta allow the story to build. However, all of this is because your podcast is genuine and even if it comes with scratches, we're here exactly for that!
Sad episode, I wish you had covered what the other sons are like, are they also addicts or they are doing well, how did they react to the murder? What was the husband's reaction, was the community supportive, how is she getting by now, does she work, did she attend the funeral etc. I love detail
@@RICARDO_1997 easy to say stuff like this when you not in that situation. I feel her pain. Especially since her son was on Tik. People that are on Tik can be extremely violent and will make you feel like you are dealing with the devil himself.
My son was a bad cocaine and ketamine user. He stole my money, I went downstairs one day and my television was gone! He sold it,he sold my phone jewelry. I chucked him out a few times and once made him go to his father's. But I had him back and gradually over years of pain and worry and anger and crying and praying for him. Finally at the age of 29 he has totally turned his life around. He had to detach himself with who he hung around with. Now he hasn't really got any 'friends' because they all take drugs. I feel really proud of him. I couldn't of taken his life ever.
Nobody has the right to take anybody life alot of people have been through worse things than her and don't end up murdering somebody worst still their own child that I cannot get my head around how a mother could do that
I agree this woman lived a terrible life buy there was no point of her taking life of an innocent person...she had no right of doing that to her son... he could have been worse!!!! 14:33
Josh seems so emotionally and compassionately beyond his years. Wonderful interview. No human is all good or all bad. We are a mix of both. I am glad she is sharing her story to help others in moments of quiet desperation.
According to the Bible we are all bad people , thankfully, Christ died to rectify this but in life we are still bad people we sin all the time whether we want to or not have Christ died, that we may be forgiven for sins against God, I believe that every person has the potential to snap given the right circumstances even people that consider themselves to be good humans . We all have a breaking point.
When you said that this needs to be heard by another generation - this hit home. Thank you Wide Awake Podcast for exposing the trauma that so many South Africans go through everyday and the horrific impact it has on us all ... thank you
Every addict is different and you cannot imagine what its like to live with someone like her son. Don't judge because it takes a lifetime to "unlive" those experiences.
😢😢😢😢😢😢 I don't think anyone can fathom how defeated and fed up you'd have to be to take out the life you brought to earth. I'm sorry you had to experience life this way Ellen💔💔💔
I'm no replying I could find link forgive me. Something about this lady that tears at my heart. We don't choose where we are born nor the environment, I wish I could hug her real tight, she has had more than her share. Her faith in God has saved her. Praise the Lord. I pray she can build a better world for herself and others with her testimony. The system failed her.Thank you for bringing this story to us. My God how my heart aches for her. God bless, God needs you, you can open the eyes of many others. God bless the judge, that is justice.Again, thank ❤you.
Never outrule a womans heart .... What annoys she uses Jesus now as a scapegoat...She murdered her son I don't understand this ....Than you find fools in these comments praising her 😢😢😢😢
Jaw dropped after 2 minutes 6 seconds. This is one story in a world that has billions of similar cases. Can you imagine how many people, women, are going through half the trauma Aunty Ellen's been through
I'm Black American and grew up poor,but with a degree of stability,due to my mother.My father was alcoholic and terrorized the home.There were times I wished my mother would divorce him and we'd be free. There were times I wished he were dead. I understand how the out of control behavior of her son drove her to put him out of his misery. Others can say what they will,but if you've never lived under the conditions that would drive you to kill,you cannot judge.
I will always remember Ellen Pakkies coming to my school and telling us her story. It was so heartbreaking and a true testament to what drugs can do not only to the individual, but their family as well. I met her personally after the talk, and she is such a kind and sweet woman.
Ellen Pakkies... - Turned herself in... - Admitted unreservedly to what she had done... -Did not ask for leniency... - Is remorseful... - Maintained a respectful and polite composure throughout... - Made good on her community service obligations... - Never claiming the horrors of her lifelong suffering as an excuse... Compared to thousands of repeat offenders and convicted detainees who are the absolute polar opposite of this person... Her "sentence" served a greater purpose in our strife torn...broken country... 🇿🇦
Dear, Ellen Pakkies you didn't deserve that, and im so sorry you've experienced such an awful and traumatic abuse. As someone who fully understands that kind of abuse I cry for your loss, and for you. You deserve to be happy and I hope you are healing. I hope you know that you aren't alone and we are here for you. Please continue using your voice, I know it hurts, but your voice and speaking out against the abuse is the most powerful thing you have and you are also the most powerful vessel. So please don't give up and when you need support and love reach out to mental health professionals. it took me 21 years to finally get help, but im so glad my journey has began. Much love.
❤👏🏽 beautifully written,You my friend are absolutely,NOT an AVERAGE chicken nugget 🐔 in such a crazy,evil,demeaning,and totally non understand world..your words/views are a breath of fresh air!....WAY TO FUCKING GO GETTING HELP!!❤...never the wrong time or too late! You're an amazing soul...and deserve peace and happiness...just like you exude onto others! Thank you for being you chicken nugget! 😂 ✌🏽 ❤😘 Good luck/vibes on your healing journey my friend! KICK ASS!!
You realize her son hadnt even reached puberty yet right? All i hear is, " Nobody knows what she went through". DOESENT THE SAME APPLY TO HER SON? Imagine a kid being addicted to drugs and not having the capability of fully understanding his actions or his consequences. Can you say the same for her? I will die for my son and hes 10 years old right now. If he became addicted to crack and was stealing ofcourse id be upset but I PROMISE YOU one thing. I would never do and say what she did. She said, " He was laying in the back on the ground and i saw the rope on the table so i gathered up my courage and grabbed the rope. It was like i was gathering my courage". He didn't attack her and it wasnt self defense. I can promise you this, the thought of killing my son WILL NEVER, EVER, ENTER MY HEAD.
Its not normal and yet this is the normal that Ellen knew. My heartbreaks for the devastation of the awful life she knew as a child. Ellen's story needed to be told, and I thank her for her courage, her humility and her honesty. I thank you Josh for your compassion and understanding. And for the platform you have given this woman.
I think thats likely but traumatised parents likely dont give their kids what they need experientially and that causes the issues just as much as genetics in fact id bet if these kids with trauma genetics were put in a different house with a non related family/traumatised family theyd probably turn out different.
@@hawk_202actually, you can inherit PTSD. I didn’t know this, but going to a therapist- she revealed to me that trauma lives in the dna and can be passed onto children. This is why it’s key to heal before having kids.
My heart is broken for the little girl inside this woman. I just have no words to express how awful I feel that this wonderful, beautiful woman had such a tragic up bringing. I am bawling after hearing and watching the podcast...why do human beings abuse children?! How can they?! This woman's son I'M sorry but he deserved hid plight. He would have NEVER STOPPED STEALING AND ABUSING HER. Never. My best wishes and love go out to her and I hope her life blossoms into the bouquet she deserves. - Trish from USA
Was he violent towards her? If he was violent towards her maybe you can justify it but not for being a druggie and a mess. I dont think murder is justified to solve problems like this. She could have kicked him out.
As a teacher in the rural areas of cape town this touched me deep in my soul. And I see this same pain and hopelessness in the little faces in front of me every single day. 😢
Joshua, I am a registered trauma counsellor with lots of experience in the cape flats. I would like to offer free counselling to Ellen. Is there any way you could set something like this up?
Hey Josh, Thank you for bringing Ellen's story to your platform. It is a hard-hitting story that echoes true for so many women in the Cape Flats. So many families go through this type of trauma and abuse that they end up trying to normalise it or tell themselves that this is as good as it will get in life. The Ellen Pakkies story will forever remain a tragic but at the same time hopeful story to many of us.
The Interviewer was absolutely open,compassionate, and gentle as the mother told her story. The mother is brave and brutally honest about what she and her family endured, this is one of the most rawest, heartfelt interviews of seen in a while. My hat goes off to both the interviewer and this beautiful Mom, for the most uncanning testimonies, peace and blessings to them both.
I second this 👏👏👏👏👏. This is great courage and humility and honesty we got to witness. A gift to humanity. Thank you both!!! We do need to change our mindset, and open our hearts, in a revolutionary way. We are all human! We are all one!
Josh you are giving a voice to the voiceless and seeing the fact that this touched your heart is moving. There are not many of us left that care about other people. Keep up the good work...
@@Maysoon3121 hold on... Wait a minute... I didn't say that. I simply acknowledged all she's been through, which if you watched the entire video, you'd know was absolute hell since the day this woman was born. And normally when a person goes through that much, people with a heart can acknowledge that and sympathise. I am allowed to do that much. And I really do pray she finds some peace of mind, because this woman has lived her entire life in a cycle of trauma. Unfortunately, living with a drug addict is practically abusive. I have that experience. This woman has been abused by the people closest to her all her life, and then found herself in a situation where her own son was doing the same. She had no resources and no one willing help with her with her son, and she had no help or counselling for her previous traumas. My word I can't imagine her mental state at the time. Now I'm not justifying her actions, but I will give her the benefit of the doubt and try to be gracious when it comes to her traumatic life experience, because she sure as hell didn't get that mercy when she was a child and needed help. Help didn't come for her. Right now how many mothers are sitting at home with children addicted to tik with no one to help them? What do people who have no idea what that's like do? They laugh at them. They think it's funny. I watch my mother almost cry every night. I watch her spend money she doesn't have trying to help my brother, only for him to leave rehab within a month. Never stays longer than a month. And rehabs aren't allowed to keep them there. They need to be willing to get help but that hardly ever happens. Then they're back home and it's constant arguments and fighting and not a moment of peace because we're living in fear. Kick him out on the streets to kill himself? We can't. But what I will tell you, is every person in my family it's so afraid of him, he lock our bedroom doors every night. You don't even wanna know the kind of thoughts we have of him, it's too shameful to say, even though we love him. I really don't doubt that woman loved her child. It's just so hard living like that, and I don't even have a history of abuse so I can't even fully put myself in her shoes. But what I do relate to, is her urge for it to stop. I really just want this to stop. I just want to live a peaceful normal life. But I never will until he decides to get better. But they rarely do. So my family and I are trapped in this hell with him, watching him kill himself slowly.
the son deserved to be happy too when ur born in a deranged home , she knew she didn't need to be pregnant bc her life was already hard. Lot of serial killers were molested beaten bullied ect do u have pity ???
@@Maysoon3121 did I say it was right for her to kill her son? You people are so quick you judge when you yourselves haven't lived a single day the shoes of those you hold to the highest of standards. You without sin, so quick to brand another person evil and wicked. You're just as wicked! Are you without sin? Are you perfect and Godlike and have been ordained by God the judge of her? When you can't even do a simple human thing by being empathetic and acknowledge that this woman has lived a life harder than most. I can't even say I know of a person who has lived a life as hard as her, so do you? Have you lived as hard as her, or do you know of a person who has lived as hard as her? I can understand how someone who has been abused all her life, would see her own son abusing her and kill him in retaliation for that abuse. But I don't think it is right that she did it fact kill him. Cause all you people who sit on your high horses, will look at mothers struggling with their drug addicted sons, and will say nothing and do nothing when the drug addict is abusing and inflicting fear upon the entire household. But today you say he too had dreams and a future what are you talking about? You clearly haven't lived with a Meth addict. He would have tormented her his entire life, and people like you would turn a blind eye. Now that she kills her abuser, you say how dare she. But where was the help when she needed it. Where were you people to put him in his place when he stole and got verbally and physically abusive his mother? Where were you people to force him to get help because he feels that without this drug that turns him into a monster and robs him of a future, he will die? Where were you people to pay for a rehab no family in the ghetto can afford? You were sitting on your high horses looking for other people to mercilessly judge you're arrogant and self-righteous and I pray you get judged for every sin just as harshly, and no one stops to even try to understand you, just as you have done
My father said the same thing to me when I told him I was being molested and then he beat me. He died 2 years later. Fathers, be careful how you treat your daughters, your days seem to get numbered.
My father molested and raped me when i was a kid. When he got sick, i was the one to take care of him on his dying bed. I don't even know my feelings abt this old man, he took everything from me. I never know the feeling of being loved by my own parents. My childhood was terrible
I read this comment somewhere from a woman who had an abusive stepfather as a girl. He once tried to attack her with full force but the mother was able to stop him. They left the room, and she sat on her bed horrified, she had even wet the bed under her. She wrote she then felt this deep peace all of a sudden and saw this bright light. She said she saw four angels walking into the room and going by, carrying a white sheet from its corners and smiling at her. They walked in the direction the stepdad had gone. Then she didn'y see them anymore. She didn't even really know what angels were but she saw them clear as day and knew they were angels. Anyway, the stepdad suddenly died after two weeks. The angels had been carrying a sheet to cover him with, I guess!
My farther cutt me out of his life after my mother divorced him ( 27 year ago) he remarried I didn't like his new wife nor her teenage daughter and son. At the time. So we cut all contact . I have settled down and have 3 kids of my own and we have had zero contact. I do hope one day he is punished .
It's a wonder this woman made it out alive from her childhood She is a strong woman who had a moment of lunatcity and just snapped from what she was dealing with her son that she lost control and she has to live with it for the rest of her life and that is punishment for her
What an incredible interviewer. He cries when he needs to for his guests. Thank you for this interview. My son died of an unintended OD and I can relate to the calamity she speaks of.
I read all of you guys bad experience my heart goes out to you guys I have Five kids. My twin are married da one is getting divorce my eldest is a daughter has choose to be with another women ,my fourth child ,,,a son is for the whole world he has 5 girls with 5 kids he has sex with his step daughter she was pregnant he helped her to do an abortion after 5years it came to light now he's been charged with rape n abuse all het step kids now I can only pray that he goes to prison pay for his crime 😢😢😢😢😢😢
She shouldnt be judged. No one knows her situation. She had a bad life and fighting her own battles, also having to deal with her son's never ending addiction and abuse. We all have our breaking point. She was trying to survive in life and society. She tried to help her son, but other professionals should have stepped in to help her, no one seemed to care or help. Both lived in their own trauma and she wasnt able to deal with both of them! Such a sad situation, others cause such trauma and then these souls are left to try help themselves. She was not a bad mother, just a mother living in her own hell, trying to help someone elses hell, but situations like this, usually doesn't end well. Just such a sad situation, which with help, could have been avoided! They failed this woman and her son.
The police needed to intervene before this eventuated. No body listened, she asked for help from police and at the hospital and other people within her circleof friends. No one listened, no one acted or offered any help. Such a sad story.
I am so confused, why are people saying she is a wonderful woman? Yes she was abused herself and that is terrible, but she murdered her own child for having problems… in any other country she would be jailed forever and certainly wouldn’t be called “a star”… wtf!?
You won't get it, my brother killed our nephew and we had peace, we couldn't keep a teaspoon in a house, the law was 17:46 on our side.We were his victims as well 😢
Yeah I also have no idea why people are lifting her up, like she literally killed someone and is walking free. That's crazy bro. And this is coming from a fellow south african
@@pulanekgomo1556Yeah, so anytime people struggle instead of waiting till a certain age and handing them to police, praying for them to change, or anything else, it's easier to kill the person and have peace? Sick
I couldn’t kill my son . I empathize with her and like her I’ve been through so much but I would take my own life first . It’s difficult though because if you do that you no longer have control over what your child does in the world without you , so that’s what she thought was best . God please have mercy on her soul
I almost split my Son’s body open with an axe. It still traumatises me to this day. A Parent (like me) of a Drug addict child understand s and feels it with Miss Ellen. No one, but no one knows what a drug addicted child puts you through. The trauma is indescribable
I can write a book what I went through with my son but never dreamt of killing him. Everyone needs to except Jesus in their life and when you dies without excepting Jesus, you are lost for eternity. That is the most sad part. 🙏🙏🙏
Something happened in her head in that instant after years and years of abuse, pain, agony, poverty and life just being ruthlessly unfair that she blacked out and took it out on the most frustrating thing in her life at that moment which happened to be her son. He was the symbol of all the pain she has known and she snapped and took him out.
You could say that. But wouldn’t a mom feel guilt who snaps? I know I would! If years had passed and I missed my son or felt guilt for my snapping that took his life. She never feels guilt she says no regrets! She says she felt “light” when she knew he was dead.
@@Beth-mi2hf yes, your discernment is spot on. I pray your discernment stays with you in these end times when ppl think evil is good and good is evil. Bless you
Community service???? Jail time for life for murder isn't the law in south Africa? This is crazy. That woman is a narcissist and psycho and I dont think shes telling the whole story of how she was as a mother. You don't go from being an angel of a mother to killing your kid one day. Murdering your son because he has an addiction is not an excuse. She doesn't seem remorseful at all. Women like her shouldn't have kids. She went theough horrific things so she should have wanted to do better for her kids
This was a hard watch especially as a mother of 4 and someone who has been clean for 14 years as of October 7 and I have been that person who has put people through hell during my addiction and I have also been put through hell through abusive relationships my heart truly goes out to her and her family. ❤
If you from around the rural areas in Cape Town you almost hear and see this everyday, I understand that most people would just think "' okay but she killed her son?'' This story is deep and I live in Mitchells Plain where I'm exposed to drug addicts, murders and gangsterism it's not easy to raise a child here and I'm young something you don't even have people to guide you. Ellen is a beautiful soul may her son rest in peace.
So true. It is so easy to say "I would never" when you have not lived that person's life. It is incomprehensible to most of us the dangers faced every day by the majority of our country's people. We need to stand together to make a difference.
People look from the outside in and think it’s as simple as black and white . I grew up in Mitchell’s Plain as well , the hardest part is when we lose our friends to this shit , having to either witness our friends being shot and killed or visiting and hearing your childhood friend you grew up with was shot , it hits so hard .
Josh, your podcast highlights pertinent socioeconomic issues that our society faces here in SA. Please keep up your excellent work. This story is beyond belief, and heart wrenching yet definitely resonates with thousands in the country and needs to change.
You came to that conclusion because you are naive and intelligent. In reality he's exploiting people from hellish places for youtube clicks under the guise of activism. He's done nothing to enact change or actually explain the situation and educate his viewers. Instead he gives us a dog and pony show.
I just discovered your podcast and subbed, plus followed on Spotify. Peace, love, and congratulations on your positive ambitious intentions of your work!🎉❤😊 Your guest is a very courageous person, and what her son on drugs put her through also happens here in America all the time. My son was on meth and alcohol and scared me many times, pushed me, grabbed my face, said he hated me and hoped I die, conned money from me, then afterwards would apologize and promise to get help, and it would start all over again. Unfortunately, the drugs in our world today are much stronger and more destructive than ever before. God bless her heart ♥
I wonder if I am listening to the same interview as you... how is this going to help anyone in a similar situation...to do what kill your child. Omg! Are you guys sane.
I had a son who was addicted to heroin. He has put me through a lot of mentally and emotionally pain but I could never killed my son. I was always praying to God to save his undying soul. Having a love one on drugs and to see how they change is already emotional pain.
@@Pheneria-dv6zw I think we should be fair to this lady, she went through a lot in her life before the horrors of her son. Her life was never normal. You are looking at it from a lens of a person who has had a normal life.
@@ERSR2024it’s called kick him out and don’t have him around. Killing someone that isn’t trying to kill you is wrong it doesn’t matter what she went through if she was a man killing his daughter everyone would point fingers saying he was abusing her for years.
Just my opinion but I think she was more traumatized and near a psychotic break than she could realize. This is a woman who grew up with extreme violence, no help or therapy and just kept going. Having a teenager in your house who is constantly getting high, stealing from and threatening you would take a huge toll on someone who is already extremely shaky mentally. I think she just broke and that’s a big reason she said it was like she didn’t understand what or why she was doing that to him. The court was privy to way more details than could fit in this interview and I would bet they took her mental state seriously into account.
Naaahhhhh i can't agree with what she did. That was premeditated mur. der and she did it cold-heartedly. She should've received the same fate. She said it herself that AB came inside and laid down, she followed her husband out for work to only grab a ROPE, with intentions of harming him. I don't feel sorry for her because if she loved her son she should've gotten him help
I kind of feel the same way.... On that day AB didn't do anything. If she had lived in America her fate would have been different. His death occurred because she didn't want to deal with him anymore. Despite his addiction you can't just strangle him with a rope... My goodness!!!! She is unreal....and all of these comments applauding her are like....WHAT?????!!!! I'm SMH....
You must never ever pass judgment on something you've never personally experienced, you can have an appreciation but you can never fully know...only God knows her story & only He can judge
I remember this happening when i was a teenager and I just couldn't imagine how a mother could be pushed to the point of killing her child. I remember having a profound compassion for this woman. Those individuals who judge her, when they themselves have not walked a day in her shoes, should understand that we may have gone through the challenges of an addicted family member but have we gone through all the additional trauma of being raped, sodomised, neglected and literally having to sell ones body to survive as a very young girl? Secondly, people forget that not everyone reacts to trauma in the same way. That is why, you can have 2 kids growing up in the same house and going through the same trauma but the way that they respond to that trauma can be vastly different. One of those children may decide that they want to get out and they stay focussed in school and end up having a successful career, family and fulfilling life, whereas another may struggle to grapple with everything that they have been through and slip into a depression, start trying to "forget" what they have been through, by medicating themselves etc. I am glad that there are people out there, who have had family members who are able to get out from under addiction and who end up leading productive and fulfilling lives.....but then there are those that end in tragedy. I remember her being so numb after it all happened and then her coming to the realisation as to what she had done. She will probably never forgive herself and perhaps cannot even really rationalise why she did it. I don't think she is a terrible human being, she just did a terrible thing, which is something that she will have to live with for the rest of her life.
You have described @davidowen5135 so well. My deceased identical twin sister had a similarly appalling life and her children all reacted to complex trauma in very different ways - including her son who was a child genius, autistic, and died as an addict. Such awful tragedies 😢
@davidowen Brilliantly said! Your insight concerning what happened to Ellen and what happens in families living with an addict, is absolutely commendable. We all know that God loves the sinner but hates the sin. My wish is that Ellen has found inner peace.
She kills her son and u say. Love to her heart ❤ the fuck did u not hear the story where she killed her son. She is a monster horrible human being there can be a other ways to help ur son Other than killing him she could have helped him even if it took 40 Years she is a mother her job is to help rescue and be there even when it’s hard she is weak minded decide to end her own son instead of help him coward I hate her
I have a son, heroin recovering addict, started from age 15, he is now 38, survived multiple overdosis, brain anoxia, went through hell and back, but he is my son. He is alive, I never ever gave up on him, but Im not judging, it is a hard hard life but the one thing I have to say, we need specialised rehabs not costing an arm and a leg. Financially ruined, my monthly cost on meds and medical aid and therapists R14 000pm. He is under our care 24/7. My heart is in pieces, but I will fight until my very last breath. 😢😢😢😢 I can write books full, not nice to have your child arrested, jailed, drugs steal our children, damage them for life. God help us all.
These comments are ridiculous. She had a tough upbringing like many. Her son became an abusive drug addicted. She murdered her child. Where she was supposed to care and nature them. She killed him. She keeps saying “me” she seem selfish and Simone who has self pity. People get dealt tough cards in this thing called life. Not everyone kills. There’s no excuses for that. She is a murderer. And god doesn’t love a murderer. Full stop!
My heart is both broken and deeply inspired by this lady's resilience. I am so sad that she had to go through so much to be so strong. God heal her from the hurts unspoken, the areas in her life that You alone know.
I was an addict. Now, I never stole and hocked my parents stuff or came at them with knives or anything, but I did try to fight my dad. We constantly fought. They threw me out at 15 and I was on my own. Eventually I got sober, and were on better terms now than we ever have been. I'm glad my mom didn't strangle me to death in my sleep. She was in an impossibly difficult situation, but she also robbed her son of the chance to recover. He was a kid.
Sorry that she went through so much. Just disown your kid. That easy. Take the keys away, change the lock. Killing your son cause of addiction? I am sorry. This lady, because of all the abuse she got, is broken. All of this is tragic. What she did was wrong.
Watch the movie. It shows all the measures she tried to help the son and to lock him out, incl going to court etc. He is abusive on many levels. She lost hope.
@@A_kan965 no im replying/being sarcastic to the person who said they can't breathe bc that monster/murderer has had a hard life. I'm totally gobsmacked at the amount of sympathy she's had, beggars belief 🤦
Why is the interviewer praising her and putting her on a pedestal? She's not a good person for what she did, she murdered her son. It wasnt an accident it was intentional. Then she doesn't even say she regrets it. No remorse. How strange of the interviewer to paint her in this light.
As a student I worked in one of the clinics is Capeflats and saw what addiction was doing to families. Some boys are raping their mothers , it’s not just stealing and selling what the parents worked hard to provide for the house. Listening to what this beautiful lady went through as a child I can understand why she did what she did, her son reminded her of the people who hurt her as a child.
Abie began abusing drugs as a child which means he was self medicating to deal with abuse in his own life and all she speaks about is how hard her life was and never take responsibility for the things her son endured that caused him to self medicate. And life was not hers to take yet she took her own son’s life with no remorse and I’m appalled at how everyone is so saddened by the life she had. He life is very similar to my own but my abuse started at 3 years old and I became a better parent from my life of abuse and raised 5 happy healthy children and never once have I had even the slightest thought to take anyone’s life let alone my own children’s lives. Vengeance is my FATHERS and when she closes her eyes and comes face with Jesus may he place her where she belongs. This is my opinion and I’m not here to challenge anyone’s opinion that is different than mine own.
I’m starting to wonder if this is even real or just some fake ai video cause I can’t wrap my head around these comments saying how brave and strong she is. Are we living in different worlds or what. She went to get tea for him and she came back with a rope. Sinister.
This woman is nuts!!. She murdered her son and has no remorse!. Shame on her. My son has been an addicted for nearly 30 years and I would never want him dead, infact it's my biggest fear.
Your are correct, she is evil, killing your own child, i rather suffer for the rest of my life trying to help my child to get him help, clean from addiction,,,,, this is madness
Bcs society told her that it was ok. She punished her son for a darkness that existed in her as well, in the end she did something a hundred times worse than her son ever did... I empathize with her deeply but I will never say that what she did was ok.
I echo the same sentiments. She was in the street st same age when her son started smoking 13yrs. She also did tik n prostitution on the streets. She should have understood it more the addictipn of her son since she went thru it also and kicked the habit. Why didnt she give him the chance to kick it off also like she did. Unless if she is still an addict
Nobody said she is a victim. People are just empathic towards the horror she went through, which nobody can judge her on. Cos we haven't walked a mile in her shoes. We hear so many stories of kids murdering their parents. What are the odds he would've killed her. He drew a knife on her twice. 3rd time could've been fatal.
I'm sorry is she not the victim? 7 years of being robbed, harrased and threatened by an addicted bum?! And she should have just given him everything else?! she is the biggest victim
A painful tragic story. The choices that some family members often lead to everyone in the family suffering. I hope she recovers from this saddest story.
i don't know what i thought the story was going to be but i didn't think she was going to take a rope into her kid's room and strangle him b/c she didn't like that he was on drugs and acting erratically because of it. there are millions of mothers out there in the world that are in that exact same situation and don't commit such an extreme act. sounds like the "system" failed her, but it also failed her son.
Count your blessings that you have never experienced this and I pray you never have to experience life on the Cape flats and living with "tik koppe" who rob and assault their own family members and the gang members who will show up at your door. I've had a nephew steal from gangsters and they showed up at my door looking for him. Do you know the terror of gangsters threatening you because they think you are hiding a drug addict. I thank God nothing happened to me that night and I was ready to beat my nephew up for dragging me into it. So please until you have found yourself in the shoes of those struggling every day without peace count yourself lucky you don't have these problems and stop sitting on your high horse of belief that you would never be able to do this and millions of others won't either
Some situations are much worse than others. I know a woman that was almost raped by her drug addict son. Imagine how you must feel as a mother if your own son would stoop that low
It doesn’t matter how hard her childhood and life was, there is no excuse for her murdering her Son,,, If its to that point just kick him out of the house and out of her life is what she should have done.
I know all these weirdos giving empathy to the murderer, no one can prove anything she says about her childhood. Many of us have had hard lives but 280 hours community service and 3 years suspended sentence for murdering your child is wrong.
Thank you for this story, Josh. Thank you for sharing your story Ellen. It’s never just the drug addict that’s affected. Families are ruined because of this. Some do recover from the drugs but not everyone is successful. This was and probably is still painful and you will live with this forever. I empathize with your situation because unless you have been through something like this, you can never understand the reality of it. The SA government fails us communities!!
Omg not only did this bring me to tears but it made me realize I was not alone in my struggle with one of my kids this story was so relatable to my life and I had times when I thought I would snap , I was on the edge of snapping, ik her pain although my situation with my child was far worse I indeed know her struggle 🙏
My mother was abused as a child. No one protected her. Not even her own mother. Then as a mother my mother never protected us and allowed her main abuser to abuse us too. I was angry at her for many years but recently I am trying to forgive her thinking she really may never know any better.
What are you talking about? The internet has existed since the 90s so has therapy and so have countless resources for women in her shoes stop making excuses for monsters your mom isn't a victim anymore she is an adult she is an abuser and an enabler who allowed you to be abused and with your own logic you sound like you might be dangerous around children yourself now.......
The fact that she said she didnt know she could get help as a child, this is a problem in many communities we dont know where to find counsellors or rehabs alot of communities Dont have the right information.
What the hell are these comments talking about??? She quite literally MURDERED her son in cold blood, this wasn’t even self defense, he BEGGED her not to do it. This comment section is wild for validating any of this, who cares if you have trauma???? That doesn’t give you or anyone the right to commit murder, y’all wouldn’t dare to have this same compassion for a man, yet y’all are babying a mother who killed her own child in cold blood?? Yo this world is really gone to shit, we might as well free the fathers locked up in prison for killing their kids because of the “trauma” they brought onto them, rather than letting them rot. Right? 🤷🏽♀️ Since that’s the stance we’re taking simply because it’s a mother wanting to paint her son as a villain while she plays victim, yet openly admits she wasn’t there for him in his young teenage years and left him in an abusive home. I’m absolutely disgusted by the comments, the empathy for a murderer yet painting the son as a horrible person and the mother “just doing what she had to do” 🤦🏽♀️
These people in these comments are ridiculous and they keep bring up GOD and i find that quite interesting. My faith is in JESUS CHRIST and yes even a murderer is forgiven but some of these comments are saying things like, "We shouldn't judge her because we dont know what she went through". DOESENT THE SAME GO FOR HER SON? Sounds like he was begging for her to stop and not kill him and this wasnt like he was attacking her either she said out her own mouth, " I grabbed the rope and gathered my courage" like seriously? Its so sad everyone keeps saying imagine what she went through. Well just imagine what a kid addicted to drugs is going through? He hasnt even fully reached puberty and probably didn't have the capability to fully understand his actions or consequences.
@@shadowghost815 Very true 🙏🏼 i believe in God and Jesus Christ, and I agree that sins can be forgiven or people can change, but in the Bible it’s very clear about a sin receiving the equal punishment so you can reach atonement and not just get off scott free 🤦🏽♀️ She literally admitted to murder, mentioned her son was BEGGING for his life, so not only to she plan to kill him but she did so with no actual harm being thrown towards her. And people are praising her in the comments like “she’s a hero” “wow so brave”, it’s just gross, and also the fact that if this was a man doing this, everyone would be SCREAMING for him to receive the death penalty or a life sentence.
She took his life in an instant of pure insanity. She murdered the poor child but is she has faith and has other members of family, she will regret it here hall life. It’s worse than prison. We can’t understand here act but we can ask God to forgive here. Maybe she will have peace after.
These comments are mind blowing. I am in disbelief of the pass you people are giving this mother. I’m American, & personally nothing on this planet could make me take the life of ANY of my children. As a single parent, we have had some very hard days! Many tears, stress, and depression. However can’t imagine a situation that could bring me to execute either one of them. I’m not judging this woman, I just don’t understand. Here in the USA, she would’ve gotten a prison sentence - a long prison sentence. Strangling has to be a dreadfully painful & slow way to die. Killing him was the only option?
I'm baffled as well. But ...I live in Europe and had a wonderful childhood.... I don't know what to think anymore. The trauma?, the total absence of any kind of help? I'm really confused right now
I don't condone her murdering her 20 year old son. But keep in mind that her son pulled a knife on her more than once. I'm not saying it's right that she did what she did, but I understand. Having your own child threaten you and steal from you for years on end will make anyone want to find a way out, even if the way out is a bad one. And considering that she tried to get help from the police who were unable to help, she probably felt she had no choice.
Her scarf was a grim reminder of her action😢 it was a noose around her neck until she spoke of the murder. She had to loosen it from around her own throat to tell the story.
I agree, this woman needs to feel the full might of the law for what she did, when her son begged her. "I said to him when are you going to listen? He said mommy I'm going to listen, then I just pulled the rope tighter"...wtf, was that a justified thing for her to refuse her son mercy an another chance to live? She could have called the police, she didn't have to end her sons life like that. She is a monster indeed!
Thanks for sharing this story. A lot of communities are experiencing similar issues. Families are going through hell and can't even talk about it. There's no help out there. Mother's are suffering and it's no fault of their own. Even kids who grew up in normal loving homes are drawn into these drugs and just destroying everything the parents have built. It's really sad 😥
@@bobo25500sometimes it's the only way to survive, you won't know because you don't understand, he would have killed her, you are not going to answer, this lady has to for her sins so Sit down or pass by quietly
@lewiswear5487 you just keep quiet and stop judging this woman. Do you know what it takes to be a parent of a drug dealer. I am lucky my none of my sons are aware about the dangers of drugs. She is my hero and my heart goes to all parents going through this problem. May all drug dealers rot in hell.
I have been reading through comments and trying to understand Ellen's actions. So many of the comments seem to be unfair on Ellen's late son who didn't have a chance to repent or even change his life. We cannot take another's life when we are not able to give life. I only pray for God's mercy on both you and your late Son. Dying under addiction and not repenting is the worst thing for anyone( in the after life). Ellen you are a strong woman and I pray that you heal completely through Christ.
Somebody once told me that if I could see people's hearts, I would run and hide! As I grow I have learnt and I tell everyone I know to never ever trust anybody! Trust nobody. The mother's with a God complex are the worst and what I can't understand is why would a person who was abused,raped,tortured etc go on to abuse and even kill or harm their child/ren? I know most individuals choose the negative path instead of positive path and they justify their evil deeds due to their childhood trauma etc inherently it's wrong and we should not be silent ; those who say don't judge or whatever are also capable of Playing God at some point. I'm lost for words and for Ellen's son's, may your soul come back and seek revenge on your mother for betraying you instead of really saving you and overstanding you, I am lost for words.
What an incredible story and an incredible woman. My heart breaks for Ellen and all the other mothers and women going through the same thing. Growing up on the Cape Flats and still going back often due to still visiting family, i see this too often. How drugs are absolutely killing our communities. Ellen's story is that of too many mother's on the flats and townships. I hope all these damn drug dealers watch this episode. We need to rid our communities of these drug dealers. Gosh i haven't shed so many tears heaing someone's story in a long time. I wish Ellen nothing but a beautiful and prosperous life onwards. She deserves happiness.
Am i missing something?im sorry she had a bad life but the woman killed her own child,that i can not get my head around but yet everyone seems to be on her side??
I FINALLY understand what people mean when they say when you are born male no one ever empathises with you.... that man was killed in bed by a psychopath and everyone is apologizing to HER 💔💔💔
Im thinking maybe her don would have killed her under influence of addiction, how many mothers n younger women n children r stll facing traumatic abuse 4rm family members n people around them like friends n cousins, strangers also, it's very sad giving birth to a chikd that turns out to be abusive towards u
She's insane.. even now that her sons dead the focus is still on her being a victim. Either way its wrong, but if she had some sort of reaponsibility it would be understandable. She still feels shes in the right and that evryone should feel sad for her. Yhank god shes from wherever shes from because where im from she'd still be locked up.
Hopefully you are never in need of any compassion. She has the mental anguish to live with everyday on top of everything else she was already dealing with.
This story is just crazy for one. Why is she still not in jail for killing her son ? Wtf that is some serious type of conversation and then you die after I understand he was on drugs, but you kill your own kid what the hell
This guy needs to enhance he’s interviewing skills man - such a powerful story and didn’t dig as deep as he could’ve - she said she willing to talk , so listen and search bra - you keep disrupting thinking you’re adding to the episode
I don't get this. I still don't know after this interview why she did it. How did the judge let her off if her explanation for killing her son is not clear. She herself doesn't know why she did it. It just doesn't make sense How does one rationalise or make excuses for her if we don't know why she did it.
Honestly some of these questions you are asking as so uncomfortable and frankly out of line. You are running into Soft White Underbelly type of territory. This is people's very real trauma, you are not a counsellor and you gain followers and revenue from their trauma. It should be up to them if they want to share. Poverty porn is very lucrative but these people are opening up horrific mental wounds for the masses. It should be completely on their own terms. I am not saying that you shouldn't be interviewing people but really it's not ok to be casually asking "When were you 1st raped?" etc.
Ellen Pakkies is very public about her story. There is a movie about her story where she murders her son. She has been very public about her trauma and had mentioned on various occasions that she wants to share her whole truth.
This shows two problems this country suffers from .The horror of the apartheid governement and the failure of the ANC.Both fucked up how many thousands of people and their legacies need to cease asap.We need a goverment that puts the people first.
So true yet we can only imagine that in that brief moment of time ''tiredness/pain/hurt/ frustration took control and she unintentionally did what She did.
When a person does something like this..when they take a persons life- I HAVE to believe they are without a doubt either mentally ill, or possessed. People who are of a SOUND MIND would NOT EVER do this. Emotions vary GREATLY..and are felt at various depths that can reach FAR beyond the basic understanding of the descriptions we have of them.. Emotions and the comprehension of what is felt itself is something that that cannot be measured...and therefore we are incapable of having a full understanding of what is felt by each other as beings. We are limited with words that often fall short of conveying what it is we truly are feeling..(NOT all of the time) ESPECIALLY when it comes to embodying what SOMEONE ELSE feels..Or ANY "relatability" we attempt to prove...in stating things like "Ive been through x, y, and z and would never do this" Sad can be understood and felt in 100 ways. We know this because of the various ways in which sadness is demonstrated from person to person... Each of us attach various levels of emotions to those circumstances we've endured. Most of us KNOW that if we were in those same circumstances we wouldn't react that way..Of course not..Because what we are..who we are..and how we feel isn't attached to incidents we've endured in the same way to the same depths as that other person. That said, we cannot sit here and compare ourselves to a person who doesn't operate with a sound mind. Whatever it is she feels is not normal. There is absolutely NO excuse for what she did. None. We ARE NOT given the authority to take anyone's life. What she went through is not an excuse. But also, she felt it was, and what she felt led her to do what she did. People who cannot assert their emotions in a normal acceptable way are those who come to commit atrocities like this. They are then removed from society and either jailed or treated in a State Hospital. I cannot process the fact that she is free. Anyone who takes a life on this Earth should not have the freedom to roam it by Law. I always pray that God has mercy on their soul, and I know that ultimately what becomes of her is between her and God...As it goes without saying that God holds us accountable in a way we cannot imagine...I don't want to be angry with her..Knowing that what I feel has no bearing on what happens to her..In fact feeling anger towards her effects my own conscience, energy, and morality..I don't want to feel what I do toward her for anyone. That said, I pray God forgives her..and may her son rest in peace.
