The great thing about the shidduchim process is that people are making more rational decisions, based on someone's past behavior, rather than irrational decisions based on attraction. It would be nice to have a crystal ball to foresee the future, however we don't and therefore the best guess we can make about someone's future behavior is assuming it will be similar to his his past behavior. Additionally the type of home he was raised in can have a big impact. People may model their parent's behavior. Also I would say that about 50% of personality is hereditary. For example I was adopted at birth. I never met my birth father. I found out who he was when I was 36 and he was already dead. However I resemble him in so many ways. All this investigating can lead to efforts at deception, cover ups and secrecy however I don't see how that can be avoided.
For me if someone would first know me by what I was born in to no one would .....know me as I am as I have chosen to be. I have always liked myself, not what I lived though. Really not fair to file one by what has happened beyond their choice.
