a playlist for your soulmate in a far-away reality 

timestamps 0:00 runway; aurora 4:08 to build a home; the cinematic orchestra 10:18 i love you; billie eilish 15:10 holocene; bon iver 20:47 where's my love; syml 24:48 turning page; sydney rose 28:26 saturn; sleeping at last 33:15 bluebird; luca fogale 38:09 fear of water; syml 42:16 you are a memory; message to bears 45:53 lights are on; tom rosenthal 49:06 roslyn; cullen 53:46 angela; flower face 58:30 each time you fall in love; cigarettes after sex

Who needs Wattpad when you have Oliviaalee’s comment section?

‘My darling, you will never be unloved by me. You are too well tangled in my soul.’ - your soulmate.

POV: your soulmate is also scrolling through the comments, wondering if they’ll ever find their soulmate

"I don't want to lose him" "You cannot lose someone you never had, darling"

You cried for the memories you'd never made, and for the people you'd never meet. You cried for the life that was never yours.

Why I am in love with someone who doesn't even exist...

Our imagination is a gift and a curse On one hand, you can dream, you can be yourself, you feel like you can shift to your very own world, where you can live happily with that comfort character, just both of you... But on the other hand, you feel anger and sadness, because you have to live in this reality, in this world that doesn't feel like home, and you desperately want to go back and live in your own world forever. But you can't, you have to face this cruel place...

It's funny how all of us think of different person, different experiences and different stories yet we feel the same pain within us. 🥺

I love how one of the hashtags is “crying”

"I wrote him a letter that would never reach him".. I felt that...

I've never read a comment section this heart wrenchingly beautiful....

“I don’t want to wake up,” a broken sob passes her lips. “Please, I - I want to stay with you.” His fingers rest gently on her cheek, as a hint of a soft smile tugs at the corners of his lips. “Go, my love,” he then says, his voice a warm hum. “Live your life, and fill your days with joy and adventures - stories that each night you can bring back to me.”

“I don’t want to leave,” she whispered, her voice catching on the last word. The boy moved closer to her, murmuring softly into her ear. “What do you mean darling? You were never really here at all.”

Reading all these comments here and realizing that there are others like me, that I'm not alone, not deserted, gives me this absurd feeling of veiled nostalgia. Feels close to home.

The worst part about longing for someone that only exists in the stories that we make up in our head or we saw on TV is, not being able to make anyone understand how truly hurt we are. How physically painful it is to know you'll never have that reality to live in. Not being able to tell anyone why you're the way you are. Because they'd call you crazy. Overdramatic. Delusional, "It's not that deep". But how I could I not long for that feeling of coming home? How could I not long for what he made me feel? How broken are we, that the only thing we wish to do is leave this reality and escape into the one that we made up? I truly have no idea. But I do know now, with so much certainty, that we're not alone. We're all dreamers here. And that's okay. Even if it breaks us.

Imagine that your comfort character is actually listening to this wishing you were real

"Soulmates. Soulmates aren't just lovers, they aren't someone you just happen to love. A soulmate is someone who you love unconditionally, until the end of time, they own a piece of your soul." they read, as you leaned against their chest, you could hear the sound of their heart beating away steadily. You turned your head around and looked at them, studying their peaceful face. "So what exactly are you getting at?" you teased, a smile spread across their face as the put their book down and wrapped their arms around your waist, resting their chin on your head. "Well I wouldn't exactly say we are lovers darling" they smirked, your eyes widen as you look at them, a big smile spreading across your face. "And how exactly would you know that" you joked. They looked down at you, their smile never leaving their face, "because, I know that you already own a piece of my soul". They pressed a soft kiss on your forehead, while you admired them, they truly were your soulmate. You turned the final page of the book you were reading, the only words on the page read, "I'll love you for an eternity, my love" That was it, reality began to sink back in, they weren't really there, it was all in your head, but yet it all felt so real. Maybe, not in this reality, but perhaps in another, you weren't just one time lovers, you were soulmates for an eternity.

it's nice to know people from youtube comments have more in common with me than my actual friends wattpad :absolutelyeuphoric to be mutuals

"Look at me." He said gently, taking her tear-stained face into his hands. She looked at him sadly, putting her hand over his. "We will see each other again." "One day..."

“Idk whether I've meet u yet or not... But i can feel u like starlight reaching my skin with unconditional and unexplainable love ” -My Dear SOULMATE

They were soulmates, separated by worlds, yet connected by that red string of fate. They were lovers, separated by destiny, yet they fought to hold each other in their arms. Their love was strong, but timing was wrong and love decided they didn’t belong.

"Tell me one last thing," said Harry. "Is this real? Or has this been happening inside my head?" "Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?" (J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and Deathly Hallows)

“the universe knew how much i long for you to actually exist...” She uttered while looking at the stars and the moon, “and the universe knew how much i long to indeed exist and be with you, my love.” he replied watching her from afar, slowly fading away.

I had an imaginary friend who I guess i could call my soulmate... he was like a guardian angel.... we said goodbye last night... he was my rock throughout most of my childhood got me through so much trauma as a kid, protected me from demons in my teens, protected me from bad people as an young adult...but we both realized it was time to part ways for now... I needed to truly grow up and blossom into the woman I was always meant to be... it was time for me to be strong and grow on my own now... I will never forget him... he promised we'll see eachother again some day... and that this is not the end... his name was Alfred... I will miss him deeply..... but I know this life is temporary and I must go on to grow my soul.... I have a lot of lessons I need to learn... but I will never forget who got me here to where I am now... and he helped me realize that person was me.

He pulled her closer and whispered into her ear: "Maybe in another life, we'll have forever" And let her go.

In this generation of "ily" and "ilysm" I really don't know if I'll ever find a soulmate.

as a shifter, this playlists really hits home😭

I imagine that this generation of hidden dreamers would make a nice couple if they met. It won't be a literary character, but it will be someone who dreams like you, someone who would understand you. But why does it seem like we are so far from knowing each other?

He looks up through the few remaining pages, panic flooding his features. "Wait!" he yells desperately. "Love, please," he begs, but his pleads are in vain. You simply can't hear him; the barrier between realities is too strong for his call to reach your ears. Oblivious to his cries, and releasing tears of your own, you turn the pages and at last close the back cover. Trapping your soulmate inside of his own story, you're left to wonder why this book's happy ending feels so bittersweet.

"I wish it was just you and me forever." She told him. "Well, I was never really here in the first place"

Honestly, I went into the Wattpad community believing that maybe a couple fanfics would make me realize that this is unhealthy for me to romanticizing something that doesn't exist. But, after being in that community I became more invested. I no longer feel like they are fake, or written up by some author. I made myself believe they were real, but in reality it was just because it was a way for me to feel loved by men that were too good to be true. And sadly, they're not real. So here I am, writing in a RU-vid comment section crying, because I'm staying late just to feel loved, appreciated, feel okay with characters who can't be here to comfort me at my lowest times. Nor can anyone in the real world. So in reality, are the fictional people really fictional? Or is my faith in real love.. just misplaced? Will I find someone who cares for me as these characters do? I don't know, and only time will tell. But, I'm waiting for my "Wattpad Moments," I just want to be loved. By anyone, someone, who will appreciate me. Please take me home Lord. I hate this reality, I want to go HOME. Home is not here anymore, it's with those who appreciate me, in another far-away reality.. One that I do not think that I will be able to go to anytime soon. I want to go, so badly. I want to be with them. I wanted to be loved, I wanted to be held and the closest thing I got to that was by reading words on a screen, like I'm doing right now. It's sad really, but it's my way of feeling fine with what I'm doing. I feel loved by these characters, but as soon as I close out of those tabs or close the app, back to square one.. Until I open the app again or try watching the movies/shows/etc do I really feel okay. I know this seems unhealthy but I don't know what else to do. Honestly, I'm so confused, drained, and stressed out. I want to go home, please. Whether that be someplace fictional.. please just take me there. I want to be there, not here. I want to feel loved by my comfort characters, people who have raised my standards too high. Here I am crying over a playlist over fictional characters in another reality, when in reality.. maybe I'm the one in the wrong reality? What if I'm meant to be there with them? I don't even know anymore. I just hate it here. -Another Hopeless Romantic

If you’re reading this: You are magnetic, you are loved. Your smile rivals the sun. You’re a cool breeze on a a warm day. A roaring fire on a chilly, Winter evening. You are the waves 🌊 kissing the ocean’s shore. 💕✨

Oh, to love someone who only exits in your head.

Everyone here is so lonely we're all dreaming of a special someone who truly loves us in another reality

"Wherever you are." "Whatever happened to you." "Whichever will be.." "Whenever you'll need.." "I'll be here. For you. With you. And I will never ever go away."

Listening to the playlist and reading you guys' comments... it's too much emotion, i can't handle.

listening to this while daydreaming being happy with my comfort character: *cries silently

Do you ever feel some sort of hollowness within you, like you're missing a part of yourself? Do you ever sit and blankly stare into space, feeling as though someone should be there? A best friend, maybe, talking to you? Yeah. I feel like that sometimes. I wonder if they feel like that too.

(to any shifters who might read this) don’t give up! do you know how close you are?! it will all be worth it

You never lost me. These are the whispers of my soul singing to you across realities past realms of existence to you here now. Know I love you. Just as you are. Close your eyes and remember me. Please remember.

"if there are a billion realities, why must I live in this one?" I asked tears streaming down my face. "darling, don't cry, you know I hate it when you cry" he responds softly as his lips brush my hair, I stand there leaning on him with my arms wrapped around his waist. "goodbye my love" he says as the lasts parts of him fade away. I fall to the floor as every part of me breaks apart and shatters into nothingness.

Really calling out us shifters with this one

What if we were born to be alone. What if not everyone is supposed to find happines in someone else. What if our soulmate is waiting for us in another lifetime. Guess we will never know....

She knew that he was there And he knew that she was there They knew each other from their past lives and they knew that in this life, they would never see each other But they knew what the other looked like What the other sounded like And what they felt like They knew that the other was there But just in a different universe, in another reality Every second of everyday they knew they were there And even thought they would kill to hold each other in their arms, they just had to wait Wait a little longer Till death comes knocking at their doors Bringing them To their next life Where they will spend eternity together And they both know this They know they have to wait And they just can’t wait till the day they die Just to hold each other in their arms once again

hey guys what if your comfort character is crying their eyes out listening to this because you aren't real?

me, a shifter who hasn’t shifted yet:

"i know how you miss me,and i miss you everyday too,idiot" he was giving me a deep hug, and then i wake up and see around, he was not there,nothing was real...and i cry a lot everytime i remember this:(

Listening to this playlist and reading my script, makes me desperate to go home

i feel like everyone in this comments understand me better than my family... ily and even if we re strangers we re connected in some way

I love this side of youtube, most people are so understanding. Sometimes it's shocking how much I connect with someone it shocks me.

Let's not cry for some soulmate we might never meet. Instead let's be happy that we're alive.

A perfect playlist for my fellow perma/shifters and dear respawners. May we have a safe journey and finally go home

"You know..." Slowly, she plucked each petal of the daises she carefully held. "I told the stars about you." He chuckled, unexpectedly hearing such words from a lady sitting next to her. "What did you tell them?" She looked at him and smiled, staring at his brown eyes. "I told them you have your own constellation on your cheeks." Her stares landed on the freckles on his face. He laughed. "What? What does that even mean?" She showed him a half smile before looking down at the daises and pluck the petals again. "I told the stars you have the galaxy in your eyes." His smiles slowly faded. "I told them you are the moon that shone brightest in my eyes when I'm surrounded by darkness." "I told them i always wish for you on a shooting star." She gave him the daisies she held since she got there. All petals are now plucked. The confused lad took the flowers and about to open his mouth. "Because i got tired of asking all flowers if you love me or not." She spoke softly. "Did you know what the stars replied?" "W-what?" He thought he lost his voice for a moment. She smiled. "Go after him." She softly cupped his cheeks, with tears forming in her eyes. "But I told them, Just like the stars, you are far from my reach. Everyone looks up to see you. You're a twinkling wonder I wish to touch but I couldn’t. Your arms are where I want to belong." Tears rushed down her cheeks as the man slowly disappeared before her eyes. "But you don't even exist." *not my story but one i read on another video and loved so thought more people should be blessed by reading it too*

i love this side of youtube, its so wholesome and so many people here are understanding, and relatable its calm and nice to be here

The fact that It started raining when I played the playlist.. 🌟 PERFECTION 🌟

Their love was a bridge between the realities. A thread that attached the worlds. They longed for each other. But knew it was not to be.

As a daydreamer, this hits hard.

Don't mind me, I am reading all this POV's and crying in the corner at the same time.

Promise , I'll love you till my last breathe . Just wait for me. I 'll find you wherever you are , my soulmate.

"he has my heart" "Who?" "The one in my dreams, he never hurt me in any way and he is my other half " "But... he's not real" "Oh he is... in another reality we are sitting on our porch and watching the sun go down after a long day of planting our garden and riding the horses through the flowers as the sun hit our faces... as the tea we made lay on the porch in the jar soaking in the sun's sweet flavor " "He sounds wonderful, I hope you find him" "Oh but I have! In my dreams among the stars, I have his heart and he has mine "

I met this guy in a dream and he is all that is getting me through life at the moment, my friends lowkey think I'm weird for falling in love with someone who doesnt exist but I can't help it. :/

“I’ll find my way to you.” He clasped her hands in his. “I’ll spend the rest of my days searching for you.” She smiled, touching his face. His skin was warm and soft, much too real. “This is just a dream,” she murmured. “I’ll wake up at any moment.” His face broke. “Why won’t you believe i’m real?” “This love just doesn’t exist,” she responded. “People like you don’t exist.” He held her tightly, and she embraced him back. If this love wasn’t real, she would take it where she could. “I’m going to find my way home to you,” he whispered. “We are home.” She awoke alone, the warmth of his touch a subtle memory that had already faded. She felt more lonely than usual, her room unfamiliar. “Home,” she said to herself, tasting how the word felt. It brought to mind all different connotations, but mostly, a man. His gentle embrace, his soft face. Sweet nothings mumbled in her ear. This love just didn’t exist in her world, but maybe it did in his. She would dream a thousand dreams if it meant she could see him again.

"Im glad i can be here with you" They looked over to you and smiled warmly. They then looked away and sighed "Whats wrong?" A long silence followed "You need to wake up, love."

This comment section feels like home. A home where there are people like me. Suffering, wanting to escape this world...I feel home.

i was vibin then : writing isn't that easy, but grammarly can help

Sometimes I feel like someone is there, sitting with me, reading the book Im caught up in while leaning thier head against my shoulder, smiling at me when they see me take in the sunset. Sometimes I sense them there. I can almost hear thier laugh when I dance around the house in my socks and trip over my own feet. I can almost hear thier words of love and encouragement when I look in the mirror and grimace, and It makes me feel better. I think that mabey they're not real; just somthing I came up with to help with the loneliness. But then I feel them, and I think theres no way they couldnt be real. Are they a ghost? A spirit? I think they are. A soulmate from a different time, different world, long dead. Mabey they chose to be my guardian and friend instead of passing on to the next life, so when its my time, we can run into eachothers arms with hearts bursting with love. We could walk together, my soulmate and I, into the great unknown. Just mabey.

“In every reality” “In every last one”

Reading this comment section made me realise something, a soulmate isn't a real person like a best friend or a lover. A soulmate is a person who shares a soul with you, not only an unconditional love. Everybody dreams of their soulmate even if 'they already have their soulmate'. Yet nobody has proven what dreams can be. Just because you met a person that meant the world to you doesn't mean you mean the world to them, yet a soulmate will love you, remember you, trust you, care about you and know you mentally and physically. You never felt their touch, so how could you know their your soulmate? Love can be mentally, doesn't need to be shown. Just because you don't show people you love they doesn't mean you don't. I hope everyone here keep's dreaming happily, until finally they realise they can't dream on forever. Night, ml.

“When will I see you again?” He smiled. It was a bittersweet thing, filled with heartfelt memories and crushing lows. “Every night when you go to sleep.”

I don’t normally listen to these but when I do, you know I’ve been alone in this house with my own silence, the comfort of the dark, and music for too long. Long showers are the only feeling of warmth that has blessed my life these days. One day I’ll find someone, but today I love them with my spirit.

I have seen a lot of comments that say things like "why I can't live in the same reality with you"... But in my way of see the things I only think... "If I should live in this reality without the one I love, I'm really thankfull that I can met him even if it's in other reality" ❤️

(lil thing I came up with while listening) when I close my eyes, I can see things. short flashes of a life that feels so familiar, yet so far away. Like I should know it, like the familiar feeling is supposed to blossom into realisation and then reminiscence, but it never does. I see flashes of people and places, of warm smiles and firelight. and one person keeps showing up In these flashes. One person who's smile sends shivers down my spine, who's eyes shine just a little little bit brighter than everyone else's. who sounds like silk and feels like a harmony, who I know I should recognise, who I know I should love. But I don't know who they are, I don't know where or what or how or when. But I know the way their clothes drape over their skin, how they hold their pencils, how their hair shines with a blue tint under the moonlight. I know how they laugh, how they walk, how they move and how they cry. And sometimes I wonder what they cry about. do they, like me, see these flashes? do they, like me, cry and scream and sob over the beautiful nature of something that isn’t real? do they, like me, reminisce over times that never were, long for a home that never was? I find myself fascinated, captivated by this world behind my eyelids. I'm desperately trying to stay for just a little bit longer every day, hoping that perhaps if I tried hard enough, I wouldn't come back to the real world.

“close your eyes darling.” you closed your eyes as you reached out blindly, grasping for your soulmate. you smiled at the faint feeling of their hands in yours. “i love you so much.” tears formed behind your eyelids but you kept them shut, echoing their words. the wind blew softly and their voice grew quieter. “we will meet again.” a sob escaped your lips and a phantom wiped away the tears. “i promise.” the wind picked up, whisking them away with it. you opened your eyes slowly, holding onto the hope that they would still be there. but how could they when they were never really there in the first place.

"A reader lives a thousand times before he dies... The man who never reads lives only one" ~George R.R. Martin Well, I'm greatful to have found a soulmate in one of those lives and it doesn't matter it was only in my head, because how can it r e a l l y be only there, since I felt and loved every minute of it?

As an author, it's hard to say goodbye. (28:26) Character: "Why do you refuse to finish the story?" Author: " I am not refusing. I am stuck. All writers go through this, it's called writer's block. " Character: ( Looks at the scribbled notes and sighs) " Are you sure it's not something else?" Author: " Like I said Sylvia, I am stuck. I was thinking about going over the previous scenes." Character: " The previous scenes are fine. I actually love them." Author: " All of them?" Character: " yes, the good and the bad ones. And- even the one we both know will happen." Author: Like I said, I am not sure-" Character: But you do! You are just stalling and I- I can't blame you. However, it does happen." Author: ( sigh) " I have gone through my head and rewrote the scene several times , but it always ends the same. And I can't let you die. You are one of the main characters and an important one too. It wouldn't make sense." Character: "Unfortunately, that's life. All of us lose that main character in our lives. However, they are not gone forever. They stay in our memories like flipping back the pages of a book. You can always revisit me there. " Author: " Why? Why did you have to sacrifice yourself to save another?" Character: " Isn't it obvious? It's because you are me. You saw yourself in that moment and did what any hero would do." Author: " I am no hero." Character: " I would say in 326 pages so far that you are and all if all the characters were here, they would say the same." ( The character opens her laptop and places the notes before her.) Author: ( before she starts typing) " Okay, but I will only finish if you stay with me until your last breath." Character: " I promise." ( The character stays by her side through the scene. Before the final blow to the character's tragedy, the character kisses the author on the cheek and then fades.)

I had this dream once, I met a man whom I fell inlove with and loved in return. We were happy, had a simple life as husband and wife, until one night, he suddenly told me that no matter what happens, he loves me so much and he will missed me for all eternity. I was confused as he hugged me tight in our sleep, when I woke up, I only then realized that it was all a dream... Weird how a dream felt so vivid and true, it still makes me cry up until now. I can't even remember his face, nor his name. All I know is that I miss him and I actually loved him 😢

This is going to be the one to break me y'all

Please don't lose yourself searching for someone, you _will_ find them just give it some time. Please don't think no one's listening. I am, _we_ are. We love you, so so much. Love, a total stranger & many more. "One day we'll meet. Whether it be in another life, universe, or time. I will find you. I promise..."

One of the worst pains I’ve felt is the emptiness of wondering where in this vast earth is my soulmate. It’s lonely here. And painful. I’d rather be numb than alone. Fictional characters are my only escape. I don’t want to be here, I want to live where reality doesn’t affect me, I want to live with fictional characters. It’s better than this agonizing waiting. There’s a void inside me where he should be. Whenever I’m alone these are my thoughts. No one knows. And it’s painful 💔

How adorable it is ! we the strangers around this globe are here together. we all carry a story in our back right ? i donno what i'm looking for but i can sense that i can feel you guys. Take Love

you're imagining life with them, but you're slowly losing hope that it'll ever happen...

it's funny how strangers know how much pain I'm going through, but my best friend doesn't.

This is literally the place for like-minded people who are worth-knowing. Would be amazing to start some kind of book club together, not sure how that hasn’t been pitched somehow

38:50 *”And if you’re not made for me, why did we fall in love?”* Hits deep.

“I cannot promise you my forever” “Then we’ll have to make this moment last”

This hits hard when your trying to shift to your comfort character 💜

listened to this while trying to sleep, yet words are still spoken and sung clearly even when my troubled mind started getting messier and messier, i tried to sleep the pain, i really did.. but honestly speaking i am thankful that i listened to this masterpiece in a perfect time, a perfect weather and in a perfect mood. to all the dreamers, poets, artists, author's and even shifters!! we all know, that in a mess up society and torn reality.. we see beauty in it, and that, my friend, is the reason why we're different than normal people. We built a reality where the ignorant, the close minded and the realistically people cannot enter. You're not weird for thinking differently than other's, no, cause you're*more.*

I'm a shifter and I always feel empty when I come back to reality, sometimes I even wish I wouldn't wake up so I can stay in that place forever

POV: You're the comfort character "Why can't I stay?" they ask you. "Because you were never here to begin with." "Then why does it seem so real?" Tears are welling in their eyes. "Because you love me." Even you can hear your voice fade as they read the last page, last sentance, the last word...

"Please, you can't leave! You're the only thing in this world that makes me feel anything at all! Why do you have to go? I love you, don't you love me?" You asked your comfort character. The portal in front of them was slowly shrinking, it would disappear soon. With tears in their eyes, they wrapped their arms around you. "You mean everything to me," they said. " I would give anything to stay here with you... but that's exactly why I have to leave. You have a life, so much ahead of you. So many memories, people, and opportunities that have yet to come. I'm not part of this world, I never will be. If I stay here, all that I would be doing is holding you back." The portal was almost closed, if they didn't leave now they would be stuck in this universe forever. They softly placed their hands on your cheeks, looking deep into your eyes. "I love you y/n l/n. I always will." They roughly crashed their lips against yours. You eagerly kissed them back, saying all the things you couldn't put into words, all the things that you didn't have time to say. It was as if all of the hidden colors of the world exploded around you in this single moment. Pulling away, they looked at your face, as if to engrave it in their memory. "I will never forget you." Before you could say another word, they jumped through the portal, disappearing from sight. You stood frozen, as droplets of rain started to fall onto your face. Letting out an anguished scream, you fell to the ground. You would never find anyone like them again, and that was something that you would have to live with for the rest of your life.

I hope, in a reality alternate to this , we are holding hands and weaving memories which are real.

I wrote this for my twin flame, who has already passed on.... Twin Flames I saw her the other day... She was a clump of tall grass in a field... Though chewed and trodden underfoot By the beasts of the field, She stood tall and proud, Glistening in the morning dew... Her hair the tassles of seeds, Blowing in the breeze, Spreading her presence and joy of life On the wisps of the winds.... Another day I saw her as the rain... Falling down in soft droplets In the mid afternoon... There was sunlight through the clouds, And she was arrayed in the halo of a rainbow.... And yet there she was again, Painting the clouds with sunlight In the early dusk... She left the tops of the clouds Their dark purple and grays, So that her golden oranges, Warm pinks, And fiery reds Could liven up the sky As a farewell to the day, And kiss the world goodnight.... I see her everywhere, In everything... She was light, And love, And peace, And joy... The world made sense While she was here, In the flesh... Knowning she has passed and gone on Has left a hole, A gnawing emptiness... But she is not gone, truly... She shows up at moments Where hope is gone, Where light is fading, Where all is cold And laid waste... She is there... In fact... Just the other day... I saw her the other day... Just the other day....

I can’t put it into words how much it hurts knowing that your soulmate doesn’t exist

"Can't you see me?" the girl asked softly. "No matter how hard I try, the only thing I can here is your voice.." The boys reply echoed across the empty halls of the school, yet it was very faint, like it was from another reality..

You ever meet that one person that you feel like you’ve known forever? The one that mirrors you, impossibly so, paints your features (every single one) in stardust gold, as though you are nothing less than perfect? The one that talking with feels seamless, so familiar you swear that you were destined to meet, tied together on an invisible string. The Greeks used to say that when humans were created, they had two heads, four arms, two hearts, two minds. The gods were so scared of their contentedness, love, they severed them into two so each human would always be searching for their other half. And maybe they were right to be scared, because when you find them, it’s unmistakable - You are struck by utter fondness, a warmth that fills through your chest and makes your throat ache and your eyes glisten and your heart sing because you are full to the brim, complete again, left to live and love and hurt and be absolute until you must find each other again, or see the universe begin to crumble.

We were high school sweethearts. I remember meeting him at a high school party, he had the most beautiful green eyes and sweet gentle soul. We instantly clicked and were inseparable. Since we attended different schools, I wanted to invite him to my school’s prom. I remember being so nervous I almost felt sick. I finally got the courage and he said yes. For the next 5 years we did everything together, we loved traveling together, attending music events, and he even taught me how to drive stick shift! He loved driving his convertible car with the top down singing so loud with the most infectious smile! He was always so happy! But, like every young love, we had a few stupid fights and I let one of those stupid fights be the end of us. We didn’t necessarily end on good terms so we stopped talking. A year went by which we hadn’t spoken, I figured he was upset with how things ended. To my surprise, he reached out on my birthday with the same infectious happy attitude wishing me a happy birthday with a photo of my favorite animal he saw while traveling abroad. It shocked me at how nice and sweet he was being in the message. I even hesitated replying. But I did. I thanked him for reaching out and we had a pleasant conversation. 3 days later he was involved in a car accident and tragically passed away. He was a few days away from turning 24. I often think what if we had never broken up? Would I have been in that car too? Or would we have been doing something different that night and he would still be here today? Maybe we would be married with kids? I will never know and never understand why people get taken from us so soon and suddenly. After the accident his mom asked me to pass by their house to pick some of his stuff to take with me. She told me that during our breakup, he traveled abroad and collected all these souvenirs for me and was waiting to give them to me. Even though we weren’t talking, in his heart he knew that eventually we would get back together, unfortunately we never got the chance. It’s been almost 10 years now and I still think about him every day. How my life would’ve been different if I didn’t let teenage fights get in the way. I often have dreams with him where I feel myself hugging him and it feels so real. I actually feel the hug. He was my first true love and I know when my time comes he will greet me with that same infectious smile. 💔

I Miss Me. The Old Me. The Happy Me. The Bright Me. The Smiling Me. The Laughing Me. The Gone Me...

It’s funny because I know him, his face, the way his lips curve when he smiles. I know him, yet i’ve never laid eyes on him. He lives in my memory, waiting for me each and every night. I only spend mere hours with him, yet i’ve lived a million lives with him.

Wherever you are in the world, we will still meet soulmate...🥰