A Race Designed to Torture People 

This one took a ludicrous amount of extra editing but i think you'll agree it was worth it. Doesn't help that I had to learn After Effects while I had covid either. I might also make an extra q&a video on the second channel to talk about the weird world of MCC theater files. I need to rant.

The mere fact that this course is ACTUALLY doable, means that Joe mongoose is either absolutely insane, or the biggest genius in the entire halo community. Can you imagine how many hours it took him to test all of it and make sure it is? Unreal

was it painful? oh absolutely. but not as painful as being blocked in that maze by Solll for 5-10 minutes.

I’d like to imagine that Mr. Joe actually believed that someone could complete 3 full laps without going absolutely insane

$500 challenge: Make JOE 2, just delete all the checkpoints. First person to record themselves finishing a lap without falling wins.

Don't get the wrong impression from this video, Joe's Mongoose Parkour is hell. Play it at your own risk. Do not overdose on JOEpium. Good luck.

Just that one guy that went “oh no” when vale said “one lap” knew immediately that he signed up for a torture game…

35:17 “Candy, you’re a dead man.” He said calmly.

Rat stages of grief: 16:44 Anger 19:09 More anger 21:03 Denial, depression and more anger 23:40 Bargaining 27:20 More depression and more anger 28:50 (Same rat radio as before) First acceptance 31:30 Me trying to assist the rats and more anger 35:15 Delusions, denial, acceptance, bargaining and more anger 37:45 Denial, some realization of what a monster Joe is and more anger 42:05 Catharsis by rejecting Candy's offer to bargain but still with more anger 42:31 (Same rat Radio) Teddy's fast food order 45:37 Denial, Extreme Depression, more catharsis and more anger 51:05 Acceptance and embracing their loss and the sweet pain of Joe 52:00 Relive by inflicting pain to their captor with more depression and anger 52:38 Pope manage to go pas 32 and finally seeing a glimpse of hope Vale bargaining with Candy and more rat revenge 54:15 Candy's payment and more anger 55:24 The game was rigged from the start by the reveal of vale addiction to Joepium to them, and more anger 56:30 Rats trying to stop the inevitable 57:05 Vale is rapidly approaching your location 58:20 Long live the King and acceptance

i was mentally checked out at the end of this, and i may never recover.

i love the idea joe made such a complex course it literally took him days if not weeks to create, yet made it so hard hes likely either barely played the map or hes spent genuinely hundreds of hours becoming its master

28:14 at that moment, I could genuinely feel the inner turmoil of vale experiencing empathy for a friend for the first time in his life

Whoever Joe is, he has infinite knowledge and we should fear him.

Can't wait for vale to out source the creation of torture devices under the guise of a game jam

Staying up for 2 days straight before Joe really enhanced the entire experience. Still waiting to get back at Candy for the riddles too

10:35: As soon as the rats heard that the goal was something simple, at _least_ one of them recognized that they had agreed to record a torture video. Oh no indeed! I am _shocked_ that this game didn't devolve into gunfire more often!

I think the feather that breaks the rat’s back is probably the respawn time being 3 seconds.

I like that the trolls are listed above the rats, to show their hierarchical superiority. Because choosing to ruin it for everyone is a much more sane option than actually trying to compete

As a person who completed Joe without knowing anything about it it was PAIN, took just under 7hrs to do. Mad respect for getting 16 people in to do it :)

as it's almost been 12 months I expect the second annual Joe mongoose grand prix

Vale reminds me of that serial killer from the Saw movies. He traps random people in cruel and often extremely painful death gauntlets and then watches as they experience limitless agony with the end goal of "making them appreciate their lives more." I gotta tell you, after watching this video I have a whole new appreciation for casual single player gaming experiences.

This video makes me look like a deranged psychopath, when in truth I am simply a psychopath (defamation smh)

"Why do you force us to do this?" "It's great for my youtube analytics." "That's fair."

28:46 First recorded instance of Vale having empathy

Ohhhhh shit I remember being on this project! I was friends with the team who initially made this map on Reach! I think we all met through a Forge focused forum, and exchanged GTs through it, but that was almost a decade ago, I guess someone ported it over to MCC cause like 90% of the people who made this are all no longer active Halo players. I helped make the first section, and in the original I made that dong with blue balls cause I thought it was funnier. Cause the map is basically CBT. I also tested on the hangar section we spent like 6 hours alone designing and testing the first jumps so they were possible but tough. Glad to see it still alive and well! So surreal seeing the map in 2022!

Personaly, this feels like a win.

Like the city in Monsters Inc. ran on fear, Valefisks home runs on the suffering of his "friends".

After the trolls allowing Vale in front of them at Crouch and then not having to deal with them for the rest of his course, that grenade at Shields knocking Vale off was very cathartic.

45:55 "I come from a mine, and I'm surrounded by wood always" Door hinge. Could also be coal or canary.

Vale really has cornered the small but loyal corner of RU-vid dedicated to "Cruel and unusual punishments"

This brings a whole new definition to “Endurance Racing”

Candy and lazer just give off the whole “he’s just standing there,menacingly” vibes when candy mentions the joker origin story

I love how you handled the course introduction, it's like a guide giving a go-over on a high-level ski run. Everything is named like a ski hill too, which makes it even better.

Well this was a trip down memory lane. I completely forgot how painful this map was. It took fucking *forever* to memorize the whole thing, let alone get through it without ever messing up. Or getting tripped up by friends (which led to a lot of roasting lol). A great mongoose race map. 12/10. Would never play again

I don't think I can ever feel sympathy for Candy or Soll ever again after this

I love how HALFWAY through the video he's at 45/50 checkpoints

Valefisk is eventually going to release "I made a REAL torture chamber" in the thrilling climax of his career

Honestly impressed by the solidarity of some of the patreon player doing their best to stop Vale from advancing on his second lap. If they are stuck, so is he.

If I got stuck behind one of those trolls you'd never want to have a fan meet up, because you'd have a death on your hands.

Respect to Maivi for trying to achieve the last check point for two and a half hours.

"have you played joe mongoose" will now be a PTSD trigger for a few brave souls

I killed Vale, that's enough of a win for me.

I’ve watched this video 3 times it never loses its beauty

Props to Mo and Snooperman for entering the hall of a lap of Joe after the event.

Remember when valefisk made funny stuff ? Yeah now he's doing the same but AT THE COST OF OTHER'S MENTAL HEALTH 👁️👁️

The sheer fact that course can be completed makes Joe one of those people who straddle the line between genius and insanity.

2023 has almost ended where is the 2nd Annual Joe Mongoose Race

VALE VALE WHERE IS THIS YEAR'S MONGOOSE RACE

Gotta love the sound of *literal screaming* in a Discord call.

I’m very certain that if The Hague catches wind of Vale’s doings he will get life in prison for repeated violations of human rights.

I'd just like to say: I absolutely love the -torture- large, collaborative projects that you and your friends go through. Something about a bunch of a friends going on a digital road-trip is endlessly enjoyable to me.

It brings me great joy to see the near six hours we put into Joe originally amount to this All the pain and suffering we spent together was worth it, for I now get to watch a bunch of randoms suffer my same fate

Oh wow, this is like a mongoose version of Schadenfreude (a famous on foot parkour map for Reach).

Tabletop simulator puzzles let you upload video files for the background, and the piece layouts are always consistent. I’m working on a way too complex jigsaw puzzle that occasionally swaps around pieces, messes with the background, and drives the player insane. Seems like something you’d be interested in

Creators name on yt is Joe Cuddlefish and he really is just unbelievably cracked at Mongoose - he’s beat it in under 30 minutes

You're so close to having a good formula. You must become the host of the gaming equivalency to "Takeshi's Castle". When I saw people in the race completely of their own volition gatekeeping others it reminded me of the goons Takeshi would send to mess with the contestants. Watch a few episodes of the show, I think some are on youtube. This is good content!

Im dissapointed that when asked what second place gets vale didnt respond "a sense of pride and satisfaction"

I thought “it can’t be that hard” but after 30 minutes of the Hangar it’s impossible

Unsurprisingly for a race video, there’s an F1 style interface/leaderboard with a 3 tiered World Endurance style categorization, complete with the fast as fuck Hypercars, messing with everyone LMPs and just trying to survive GTEs. Edit: Meanwhile the entire race is just the most difficult Rally ever with every racer on simultaneously.

You said "annual"?

"You only got that far because you didn't get caught on the balls" -Valefisk, 2022

I love the editing, legit burst out laughing when you first showed the rat radio with the F1 graphics.

11:04 almost choked me with a drink. It hurts, and I am crying. Good job.

VALE IT'S BEEN ONE YEAR YOU STILL OWE US ANOTHER JOE VIDEO

Vale I think your giving people an unhealthy addiction to torture.

Joe should’ve made it so that failure at the last jump teleports you back to the beginning.

The idea of Joe Mongoose watching this and laughing maniacally gives me life and purpose.

42:00 literally the funniest moment of the whole video

"Your goal is to do just one lap, that's it" "Oh no."

I feel like I passed some kind of sanity test by getting on the patreon for one month, paying extra, and then leaving to never return

Seeing everyone genuinely check out mentally and emotionally was... Very fun.

In the last 30 minutes, Joe Mongoose should have spawned and raced everyone

20:46 Glad to see that even Valefisk and his friends recognize the awfulness of the Halo TV show.

These videos are legit well made and it's easy to notice the time and effort you put into them... even for people who prefer shorter videos like me, watching you is always fun and entertaining. Great work keep it up

If this was the first annual Joe Mongoose Grand Prix, when is the second annual one coming out? I want to see you guys do three laps like Joe intended.

Well, this got me to reinstall MCC. First Day: 5.5 hours, got to corner 31. I'll update as I go.

if i was invited to this id tell you to stick that 50 where the sun dont shine then just go into spectator and cast the race

Joe had to test this course to make sure you're actually able to finish it, let that sink

I feel like it would have been a better showing if the other players weren't stuck in a crouch maze or similar situations with literally nothing they could do to progress for so long.

I made maps like these back when halo 3 came out. My friends and I would get drunk and play them. Thanks for bringing back good memories.

IT'S JOEBIN TIME

As much as I love Vale and the crew, this is the exact reason I will never join any of his shenanigan torture devices. F to the poor bastards who had no idea what they were getting into.

I love how I can see "torture" in the title and immediately think "oh hey, a new valefisk video" And be right

Hey Vale, wonderful torture here. I managed to con my friend into being tortured by Crypt for 35 minutes. I now have more torture material, much thanks.

Ah yes, the greatest game engine for racing. Floaty Halo Reach vehicles ! Joking aside I loved mongoose racing on this game

This has got to be one of my favourite channels now, and I literally just discovered it. I just wish I could tell everyone's voices apart better...

You don’t play Joe’s mongoose parkour race, Joe’s mongoose parkour race plays you.

if this was the first annual, whens the next

I have no idea who Joe is, but he's a monster and I love him.

9:26 is where it actually starts if you don’t care about the course or if you already know about it

*look at score* "Oh cool only 6 corners left, they've nearly made it yet* *check video length* *not even halfway*

Torturing you own followers (this is clearly some kind of cult) for you own entertainment is commendable move Vale.

Holy shit the memories. Halo Reach and 4 were my childhood and I remember doing stuff like this all the time with my friends

This feels like the wii sports golf camera looking around the course.

I used to do these kinds of "races" in Trackmania YEARS ago. You say torture, but beating one of them within the time limit was soooo satisfying.

"Mom can we get trials fusion?" "No... We have trials fusion at home." Trials fusion at home:

Oh my god! Joe’s track! It’s been years since I’ve seen this. It’s bringing back ptsd of my friends and I playing this in og reach.

gotta say, this is a great distraction from the pain i’m having from major reconstructive surgery. i’m not the only one suffering!

I like the term "Vertical Wall", thanks for the clarification that it wasn't a horizontal wall or in layman's terms "floors"

>first annual joe mongoose grand prix >first annual >annual Rise and shine, mr. Fisk... Rise and shine.