You have come such a long way already. I'm glad you figured out that life was worth it when you did. I'm 60 years old, and in treatment for a restrictive eating disorder again. My folks were restrictors, that I'm just figuring out- it was just 'normal' that we shared one can of ravioli for dinner. I ended up with an anorexia diagnosis at 17, and then in a psych hospital (all we had back then) for nearly 8 months the next year. Fast forward, many inpatient and outpatient treatments, and having to cut out diet soda, so drank the sugary stuff and gained a ton. Ended up diabetic with a lot of complications (several require more dietary restrictions for medical reasons), relapsed again, and more inpatient. Had a relative 'lull', but now know that I was still restricting, but eating more than my family allowed, so I thought it was OK. Ended up with leukemia, and lost a lot early on, then gained more during consolidation chemo. Later had to have a test where the weight gain was humiliating, and relapsed again. If I could do ONE thing different in my life, I wouldn't have gone on the more restrictive diet at 17 (or the high school diet competitions when I was 14-17 years old). I didn't know it was OK for ME to be happy, and not just being 'enough' to make someone else happy (still working on it). Fortunately, now I've got the one therapist who I've ever heard truly understanding the ED voice helping me now. I first saw her on a news show in the 90s. She 'gets it' to the core from helping her two daughters, and since then thousands of others. There is hope, but it gets so much harder. It's hard enough early on, but now I realize that when I do get well, the vast majority of my life will be over. You're doing an amazing job with recovery, and this near-fossil has a lot of respect for that. 💜 (
Elzani!! I discovered your channel over the summer. I have been suffering anorexia for many years. In May i found out I was pregnant, then we found out pregnant with twins! It was so exciting so happy and terrifying because eating terrifies me. Long story short we lost out twins entering my second trimester and had to have surgery to have my uterus cleaned out. Mt anorexia had nothing to do with the loss of our twins, it was chromosomal. But I was watching your channels and videos and then on repeat through all of it. It was the first time I had hear anyone share their illness or talk about things. I learned so much about mt illness because of you and was inspired to start my baking again, I made a two color 4 layered orange and pink professional cake and even baked things YOU made. I am in american born and raised but make yorkshires for fun, and other things I learned about the unique UK! Its so great to be catching real time videos of you this time that youve returned! So happy to see you and wishing you all the happiness and peace. You deserve it! ❤
I'm glad Ur posting again :) I'm just sorry Ur hurting so much ATM but Ur strong and UL come out a stronger and happier person through all this at some point. It's ok to feel hurt and angry. You have a wonderful family and all your fans adore you by your side. Boxing/ kick boxing sounds awesome fun defo give that a try. X
I have watched you since the beginning and I really want to let you know that your journey has helped me so much with my own, I always want to tell others who are struggling about you in hopes that your story can also help them. I seriously am so inspired and proud of you, you help me to be better. Thank you so much Elzani, god bless you.
He Elzani I love your honesty. From my life experience I want to say please be careful with yourself and take care. It is often better to take things slowly after my divorce I was also in a same situation I was in grief and also I discovered new things and I have done to much and was always in motion and connected but at some point I relapsed very bad. Without knowing it was all to much for my nervous system and my body. I just want to say that especially because of the Sport that always triggered me when I had done more than normal. Just from my perspective I am 38 and struggle over 20 years with this topic.
I went to Canada and I love it. I'm quite a bit older then you. Life is up and down. Reinventing yourself in each season of life. Yes be happy but make your happiness depending on someone Be happy for yoy. For you are enough
I just can't believe how beautiful it is that you're here, like,,, talking about your hopes for the future, the fact that at one point you might not have had that but through fighting and sheer will power YOU are here elzani - how wonderful
I just love your new format of videos Elzani, love it! You are such a talented and creative young woman…….you cook, you play the guitar, I’m assuming you’re now a Joiner , and you love making videos! You’ve suffered mental illness , almost died because of ED, are going through a horrible horrible loss from a relationship breakup and soon…..the holidays will be descending upon us! Darlin’, you’ve gone through a lot, keep on kick boxing and punch your frustrations out of your body! Memories memories good and bad and new memories are soon to come!!! You are strong girl, really really strong , there’s a wonderful world out there, and you will experience it. 🙏🏻☮️💖🌎🌏🌙✨🌟💫💫💫⚡️☀️☀️
TBH Elzani, he is a idiot for letting you go. Your so full of life and fun.... some guy is going to come along and see the treasure you are! when a person can sit in there car and captivate a audience , thats charisma girl! Your so beautiful , inside and outside and such a supportive family 🙂🙃
Wow, the colors are spectacular! I know what you mean when you reminisce about the past and certain behaviors and phrases, ect. that we remember or take on especially with the laughter that we share with siblings. I have two sisters (I'm middle) who are my best friends and no one is able to share the jokes, rapport and deep bond that we build from a young age. I also live way up Northeast US , close to the ocean with scattered islands and breathtaking scenery so I understand being in deep reflection in the midst of it. I've also been to Alaska and have never felt so small surrounded by panoramic views of the mountains and wildlife. So much more to explore and cross off the wish list of things to do. Have to keep on keeping on and stay strong. Thanks again for sharing your channel with so many.
i’ve missed these videos so much, please keep posting i love watching them!! you’re such an amazing person please keep looking after yourself you deserve so much xxx
Just Look how well your mental health is improving now Lovely 🥰 and there's a Lot to be said for being single believe me as you know I've suffered from Anorexia with binge purge subtype for the past 34 years now ( as I'm 49 years old now ) and as a result I've lost all of my upper teeth sadly Xxx
I’m suffering with dental issues now after battling and still battling anorexia 🥺 keep strong lovely lady ❤ despite the battle I’ve continued working, purchased my first home and have my mini dachshund. I’m single too after escaping negative dating relationships ❤
Omg susie snap we r the same age not been ill juat as long and yourself and i have also lost my uppers and 3 lowers with remainder ones looking awful i feel so unattractive my speech is poor and i rarely leave the house and therefore rarwly get to socialise with my 3 teenage or husband very sad but some would say self inflicted px
It so good to see young people like Elzani recover early on in their lives. I’ve had Anorexia since I was a teen and never been able to recover. I’m the worst I’ve ever been and at 58 I see no hope. I also lost my top teeth to this illness which added to the devastation of my life. So many regrets, so many dreams lost through this most awful of illnesses 🥲
@@louisebruce1863 i honestly thought i was the only one in midline still struggling and had lost my teeth i feel and look older than my elderly mum . I feek strobger mentally but the physical repercussions r real i rarely see people or leave the house i want to but am too ashamed px
I'm loving these new style of videos especially jammin and belting out hits in the car. Can I put myself down on the passenger list please? 😃 Also, when you mentioned being so small in compared to your struggles or problems, it reminded me of Small World- one of my fave songs by Idina Menzel with the chorus being - "I'm going up to a place where the world is small, where I can fly above it all" - I always listen to if I'm having a difficult time and the chorus is great for belting out. Have a fab week!
The comment about your talents made me laugh, it’s me to a T!!😩 but honestly you’re an incredible person. So strong❤️ you’re more than those negative thoughts
Wow, i just found the latest video of yours since the hospital stay. You absolutely look so good and healthy!! All the best to you, and may you fulfill with happiness each step career path.
Elzani I’ve been watching you since day one, I remember sitting up waiting on your vlogs to come out back in some of the most horrible days in my life. To be sitting here now in 2023 looking at where we both are since then, hearing you talk about your new career and me being a personal trainer now makes me teary eyed, I feel like I’ve grown along side you and I just want to thank you for being that comfort/friend who got it that I needed during my recovery you have the most pure soul🫶🏼🫶🏼
Elzani,im 56 years old,and in a few days ,,October 25th,i will be celebrating my 8th cancerversay. After having been diagnosed with stage 4 larynx cancer, i had to have a tracheotomy and and then in October 2015,i had to have total neck resection surgery. Basically, they removed the cancer, but they also removed everything from my throat as well. Having to rebuild my esophagus. Thats the short version. I lost my voice forever as well. Truly i should not be here as the cancer had metastasized and with a t 4 tumor, my chances of survival was extremely low. I had just had my 1st grandchild April 2015 . So i had alot to fight for. I say all that to echo your sentiment about how truly precious life is,and also how short a well. We're all here for a reason, i truly believe that. And some of us have a more difficult path than other's. My experience changed me in evwry way it could have. It strengthened my faith and my relationships with my son's,and my whole family. Also i learned to cherish things in a different way. Little things became more important as the inconsequential things that used to bother me just fell away. I just feel so very blessed. You are strong,young lady. And life will change ,and get better and better. Yes there will be hard times and challenges but you learn to even cherish those experiences as well because its those difficult ones that allow us to grow as people and empathize with others. Which is so important. God bless you sweetheart. Sending you lots of love and prayers ❤
@@kecrn4132 that's so very sweet of you to say. I'm very blessed, and was very fortunate to have had Brilliant surgeons, and nurses. Truly though,it was my family that gave me the strength to get through. I wouldn't be here without them. I feel I'm the lucky one. Thank you so much. You're very kind💜
Hopefully you'll feel more festive when the time gets closer. It's also totally fine if you don't though. You could make yourself a Christmas to-do list with some fun activities. Maybe visiting a garden centre, going to Christmas markets, trying new festive menus or snacks. Indoor skiing! You could potentially do Vlogmas as well. The advent calenda 're are already in shops too!!
WOW Elzani, that was one powerful video. You radiate so much positivity & I love that you’re posting on RU-vid again. I wish I could meet you because I admire you so much. Your family & friends are so lucky to have you in their lives. I love how your always smiling even when you’re not feeling good & I can see the pain in your eyes you still bounce back. I know that doesn’t mean that you’re feeling great but you still speak so positively. I guess it could be a way of talking out loud to yourself to hear your own advice & not retreating back to your ED? Maybe I’m wrong, I don’t know. I know this sounds weird but it’s a privilege for you to cry in front of people/followers & how you speak because you’re giving so much of yourself. I also spent time at Haldon & I’m so glad you gained so much from your admission. Unfortunately it didn’t help me 😢. But people are so different & what works for one may not work for others. I’ve had my eating disorder for 39 Years & it’s embedded. Even services say I’m too complex to help so they’ve left with nothing. I’ve had a lot of things happen in my life, both in childhood & as an adult which has left me with severe PTSD. I’m so happy that you have the support from your family. Seeing you with them makes me envious because I wish I had that. But it’s great that you have their support. It’s weird seeing your videos because you’re so close to where I live. So even though we’re not actual friends I know you’re not to far from me 😂. Keep going Elzani because you’re doing great! Keep your videos coming & don’t be afraid to let people in. I’ll continue to follow you on your journey as many others will do too. Sending love as always 💕💕💕. P.S you think your boxing isn’t great? I certainly wouldn’t want to mess with you even at this stage of your training! 😂😂😂
I just love your enthusiasm for life and the positive attitude you have..despite having a tough time. I also love that you’ve started posting videos again. ❤
I agree Elzani. I didn’t find my career. My career found me when I Was in my late 20’s. It was the last thing in the world, in fact it was the one thing I always said I never wanted to do. You are an amazing young woman. You’ve said things and done things that remind be of my daughter. She died 14 years ago from anorexia nervosa restrictive variety. She was diagnosed at age 13. I’m sorry she didn’t live long enough to meet you herself. You can and will do anything your free spirit decides to do.
We all go through ups and down's in life. Anyone would be feeling low after a breakup and the fact that she hasn't relapsed just goes to show how strong she is.
It is so weird to think that I have somewhat grown up watching you. I have quite literally been here since your very first video (I'm pretty sure it was at the end of 2017??), when I was 14 and at one of my lowest points with my ED as well. I have followed along ever since. I am now 20. Studying law at uni. Moved out of home. If anything, I view you as a distant older sister (who doesn't know I exist lmfao). I'm glad to see you uploading again, now I can watch a different journey as I continue to embark on my own.
It makes me SO happy to see you doing well and finding joy in daily recovery. You’re story gives me motivation to heal myself for myself. ❤❤❤ thank you for sharing you’re journey ❤❤
your goals are awesome - get strong, be happpy , travel and make videos. Pretty much exactly the same as my goals hehe:D so happy to see u back doing what you do best! you help a lot of people xx
You have come a long way and you are so strong and beautiful. Thank you for sharing with us your journey, the good and the bad. All the best princess warrior.
As a fiberartist at 53 years old (spin yarn, weave, quilt, sew, and a myriad of other skills), I have some great advice about learning any new craft. Don’t compare yourself to other master artists. There’s no perfect “right way” beyond the basics of any new art skill. Many artisans found their own niche by stumbling onto a great idea, or developing their own technique that became a signature. You don’t have to be perfect. Perfect never happens when you’re learning. When I look back at my first quilt, I see how badly the blocks line up, the choice of patterned fabric, and quilting lines themselves, I cringe a little. But I can look back and say that was the 21 year old me who was self-taught from a couple of cable tv shows and books. Another piece of advice about pottery-take a class. If you want to make pottery from molds or throwing clay on a wheel, another artist can help guide you in what you do and don’t need. It’s a lot of fun and if you have patience, a lot of joy. I love that you’re finding some sort of direction for your life. I struggled with that for a long time. Too long. You don’t have to figure it all out now. Trying many different experiences in life will guide you through the things that you’re not really interested in, to surprising ones that can change your life’s goals. Good luck!
You don't need to have the career thing figured out! People completely change their careers in their 40s and beyond. You can always go back and study, create your own business one day, meet someone who has the perfect opportunity for you etc etc. You are still so young, just focus on the day to day and I'm sure you'll feel inspired. Have you thought about personal training if you love the gym?? Or a fitness instagram/Tik Tok account as a side hustle?
Elzani, I’ve just watched a few videos from your old channel. I’m having a wobble right now and it gave me the confidence to eat a Nutella sandwich 😂 Now, seeing you’re up-to-date channel had inspired me to get through this phase. Thank you. Honestly, thank you ❤
Sending so much loveeeee Elzani! So glad to see you and hear you talk about all these super relatable things. I wish I could join you for a beach run, but I live on a lake so I will join you in spirit! You have always made me feel seen and sane, as I don't have people in my real life who understand recovery and the perspective it gives you on life. OR the importance of taylor swift. Lol. death by a thousand cuts .. cuts deep after a breakup. Love will 10000% find you again. I had to go through a lot of mental health healing and therapy programs from 19-23. I didn't know if I could even live independently ever, back then. I reached back out to my ex after 4 years of not talking (the one that got away). Fast forward, we are now getting a new apartment together at 25. Life is crazy.
I just thought I would find your channel again to watch your old videos and now I’ve seen you are posting again! I’m so happy. You’ve always got friends in all of us and you aren’t alone. This time in a year you’ll feel so much better 💕
👋 Hey Elzani! It's so lovely to hear you talk about all these encouraging things and some of your goals also life bits you want to do and such. I frown time to time so think about friends I used to kick it with and all the good memories... I've more recently been having these warm feelings to just pop in and say hi to them but I'm so nervous if... I don't know what to say... If they have the remember me still aahh idk. And we do pick up little things from others, associate those little habits or objects when we are around them (ex: little that but of coffee like your mom does...). Omg! And I feel you when jamming out on music , it feels great when it hits the mood....idk I sometimes get goosebumps when it's feels so much or it's one I can relate to.. 😅😜 that reminds me when you shared about doing the things you wanted or want to do again, I've actually picked up the guitar today since gosh knows how long. It was cool, I want to play again. I'm glad to hear you want to do so much 👏 you can do it. Travel, get strong, hang with great people...go to concerts (more Taylor S)..... I believe in you Elzani. Thanx for being so encouraging and being.. so genuine. You've got this 😎👊🥊 🏖️💙
Can you please help me Elzani? I relapsed from anorexia. Thank you so much. I love all your videos, and I'm so happy for you! You're a miracle. Always remember that.
Crying it out while punching it out is great! I think you should decorate the inside of your car for Christmas! I struggle at the holidays so I keep myself busy doing service for others. I love your videos and the cartalk format. 🥰💜
I was thinking about “Miley what’s good” literally yesterday hahaha! Elzani, of all the places in the world which are your most desired. Whether you’ve visited or haven’t yet had a chance to visit. Just curious. 🫶🏻💚
