"Marry where the quality of married life of would-be inlaws is good" Golden words. Back tested and found perfect. Wish I had known before. It would have saved many of my dear ones in falling in toxic situation. Hats off to you, for this wonderful video.
First Of All, Wisdom Is Internal, You Can't Give Wisdom, The Person Has To Earn It Themselves. Just Like Us Who Agree To This Wisdom, Because We Already Knew It Somewhere Down Below Our Guts, And Just Hearing It From This Guru Now. Gyan Ko Aap De Nahin Sakte Kisiko. Aur Jis Gyan Se Mauka Mil Sakta Hai Kisi Ko Uss Gyan Ko Baantna Paap Hai. Jiska Bojh Aap Par Hi Aata Hai. Isliye Just Relax. Sab Ko Apna Apna Chuka Ke Jaana Hai.
मेरी शादी हुई तब मेरे हस्बैंड ने मुझे आगे पढ़ाने और जॉब करवाने के लिए बोला था लेकिन बाद में वह लोग मुकर गए और मैं एक सिंपल घरेलू महिला बनकर रह गई लेकिन जो मैंने झेला मेरी कोशिश यही रहती है कि मेरी बहू ना जीते अब वह पीएचडी कर रही है अमेरिका से उसे राष्ट्रपति अवार्ड मिला मेरी यही कोशिश रहती है जो कुछ चीज मुझे बुरी लगे मैं दूसरे के साथ ना करो 🙏
My father tried to marry off my sister to Maha fattu boy who had posted alcohol n body showing pic ,n v superficial nature n they were not even talking to boy n his parents directly the day they came to see her n were talking to bicholia only n finalized everything, even though I was saying take time it's just 1st meeting of 5min . But those days nobody was talking to me n I was ignored as hell infront of that bicholiya uncle . My mother n father r totally immature. That uncle n his wife took full advantage of that n tried to set their relative boy with superficial personality with my sister as she had govt job. Everybody knew she was not ready for that but still they forced her. Finally my parents said no after 2 months after doing all shopping as my brother ( who is also v egoist with zero realization of his responsibility towards his sister) n his chappri friends said that boys mother is v jhagdalu n saw Facebook post of boy photos with alcohol. N btw we didn't know what exactly boy does. Now it's been around 3 years n my father has no intention of finding good boy for his daughters n my sister has become over 30 but yes in front of relatives he blames our over education n keep mum n act victim. His health is deteriorating. He is suffering from fear of his image in front of relatives with zero respect for life quality of his daughters. My parents hav chosen their option I.e. their son on whom they place their happiness. He destroyed my life by not letting me pursue my career of my choise even after doing mbbs for his fake prestige n fake care for my future. I know my future is also same. My sister is happy being good girl n yes I'm bad since my childhood. I pushed away all good boys away from my life because of my depression n my zero interest in marriage n boys also. But seeing this pathetic behavior I think finding good boy is duty of girl herself especially in those family whose parents r suffering from inferiority complex . Typical jaat family story. Earlier when people used to say jaats r bad ,conservative n all, I wouldn't believe that as few years back my parents were normal n now with sudden aging they hav become coward or my b they were same n we just didn't notice. Oh not we but me. My brother n sister r v good boys n girls for my parents. They always respect my little brothers boundaries n wouldn't question him back for anything but with me they hav no clue of what boundaries r while interacting with daughters. I'm mental case. Now I understand they hav also made me old. I keep thinking of pursuing my career of my choise but I hav no energy left n according to them I'm lazy who sleeps in day n wakes at night n eat. I'm sitting at home for 1 year waiting for my pg counselling n no breakfast is made for me but yes special Daliya is made for my brother everyday. I haven't eaten that but since last 4 years that's my brother's choice so he's having that. Beautiful educated girls also suffer from rejection, rejection of respecting n asking their choice n r judged badly by relatives for not marrying ad what can b the reason of not marrying after being settled carrier wise ,so let's blame overeducation . Earlier I used to think why so many doctors r so desperate to marry doctors at work place which always gave me creepy vibes as I would see it arranged marriage by themselves being called love but now I get reason behind their desperation. But I can never b desperate n don't like boys in general, so decided to stay unmarried, although I hav decided this when I was 17 but now I'm again sure. But I just care for my sister n want her to b married in good family with good husband. N yes my mother had been bitter n frustrated n she vent out that frustration on me by beating me up when I was a little girl. They show their fake love to satisfy their ego by bring fruits of my choise ,making food of my choise some day n then again they become indifferent for days n then show love n then indifferent... no one can make them happy, n especially I but they hav no problem with son n just stay normal in his presence n in our presence they keep mourning atmosphere.
i have seen a case where girl was working in IT field and the boy was working in Australia with a high paying job. T he girl and her family were so lured with the 'package tag' that they were ready to do anything to get their daughter married. later on she was asked to give a technial interview as well as communcation skills to her future husband and family!! that was shocking !, still girl gave everything and later on she found that she'll be called to australia just to serve the boys parents and was not allowed to continue her job there. in small they were just hiring a free maid to serve the boy's parents what a tragedy!
Hello sir! I am a physician and going back in time in my marriage I do see your point, luckily in a positive way. Your videos have a dash of humour and I enjoy them immensely. I agree with most points, however the working mother in law is a big red herring. I have had experiences in the past in arranged marriage rishtas and have seen the worst of toxicity in working mothers in law (unfortunate reality). This is mainly because they have done both housework like a proper housewife and also managed their jobs, albeit with exhaustion and frustration. That turns many of them even more bitter and they expect the same from the daughter in law. So I steered clear of them even though I get your point theoretically. My mom in law is a homemaker, deeply appreciates and values my work and money, and takes care of my baby while I am at work. Thanks for the wonderful message you’re trying to spread
Gents Please hear him out. But. Please refrain from getting one to one counselling. He charges 20,000 rupees with GST for one hour consultation. When you say the fees is much higher. He will redicile you saying “ you have money problems “ . Well, how would a man wanting to get counselling be expected to pay 20,000 rupees. This man can speak well which is pretty much available freely and common sense. Please go and get qualified people From practo who are available for 1000 - 2000 rupees and are not jack of all trades. This man is a Fake... Well, can hebpist a proper qualification for marital counselling .
Mere shaadi se pehle aapko sunlethi worst mother in law I got my husband’s daadi is a educated women got illeterate as bahu she can’t finish single work properly superficial work karthi hi look busy do nothing type wali ab mein working hoon mujhe mere pathi ka seva karna hi bacchon ko palna aur uper se unke bathein sune lekin beta bahu saath dekha nahi jatha sirf beti damad pasand hi jo acting phase tha bahut manage kiya mere saas ne bete ke samne.
@@VidhiKhandel hiii vidhi … congratulations… us din maine dekha fb par.. hum fb friends bhi hain.. aap or baby, aapki family Khoob khush rahe… Love and blessings ❤️
Meri saas ne bahot Saha tha aur mere sath bhi wahi karne ki koshish ki but I was different!!!! Bolte reh gye sab mujhe but I ignored but careful always!!! Buri ban gyi hu but happy n live with own ways in sasural!!! 😉😉 Sahi kaha aapne.... Sasur ki baat ko saas aur bete kehte hai maximum time ....
My parents fight without any issues being present inbetween them (i.e, they fight, just to fight). They're too toxic. Since my childhood, I've yearned for a moment of silence in my house and couldn't get much. I decided to leave home the day I graduated, 8 years ago at the age of 23. Today all that they know is that I live somewhere in Europe. I have a wife and 5 kids here in France. I'll never go back to that hell of a house, sir. My sister, who used to follow every of my parents' wishes wasn't so lucky. Pata nhi kya bhara unhone in my sister's mind, that it caused a rift inbetween my sister and my brother-in-law (whom I can vouch to be a great guy). Now she's back at my parental home. 😥
I am married to a guy who is a single child. His mother is too much possessive about him. She does not like to inconvenience herself or her son for my sake. It hurts so much! I'm going back to my in-laws place after 8 months of maternity leave (went to parents' place in the 7th month of pregnancy because in laws weren't caring for me), so I told my MIL that my husband will come to pick me (we live in different cities). She was not happy, she asked me "can't you come on your own". Also since he's their only child, he is not willing to live separately from them. So I think if he had siblings then we could have been able to live separately.
@@elizabeththomasthomas4177agar uske siblings hote tab bhi vo esa hi hota agar parents mar bhi gaye hote tab bhi aapke bich mai esa hi hota. Please maan lo ki aapke husband aapse pyaar nahi karte. Sach hai aur sach kadva hi hota hai. Jo pyaar karta to wife aur bachho k sath hi rehta. Khamakha time waste mat karo. Kuch log parents ka bahana marte hai lekin ye nahi bolte ki muje koi interest nahi hai this marriage is not working anymore.
@@elizabeththomasthomas4177aur aapke husband ko phone karne ki jagah saas ko kiya. Husband ne samne se aapko call kiya hi nahi. It means he is not interested.
Sir ,I agree , jo women jyada dominating lagti hai hume ,unke pati chup se lagte hai ,real me un womens ne bahut jhela hota hai , wo unki dabi awaz hoti hai ,jo kitne salo bad gusse me ek kadwahat k sath ek cheekti awaz k sath niklti hai .... Aur ise koi nahi samjhta ... 👏👏Thanku sir 👏.....is baat ko logo tk pahunchane k liye , jo dard koi smjha hi nahi ,kabhi soncha hi nahi gaya ....use ek awaz dene k liye 👏👏
Apne jaise ladki walo salah di, dekhiye all men are bad kehne wali aur majority of the samaj use katai nahi manne wala. Bhale purush ya ladke wale achi khasi sankhya me apki baat samjhenge. Ladkia aur unki family to yehi kahengi ki - admi wahi accha jo jyada kamata ho ladki se, tagda-lamba ho ladki se, confident ladki se jyada ho, sare accets ho tabhi shadi karayenge, yeh atal sachchai hai Mahiliaye biologically programmed hai ji aise soch ke liye
101% True. I am married in the family where my in-laws are not at all happy together. My parents were also in an unhappy marriage. And now all this is affecting my married life also.
For finding my sisters prospect groom, I have told my parents this criteria -The mother should be a working lady! Never thought, will find an aged man advising the same! 😊
100 % true I was naive and turned blind to this.... 20 saal tk bht kuch dekha... Jo me deserve nhi krti thi.... Muje lga tha i can change situation.....tried hard ..... Ulte me hi mentally ghut gyi.... Please see wd be saas sasur relationship and also their relationship with their neighbors
Both marriage parties do not talk on certain topics openly and later these things creats issue in marriage. Only good package and property are major questions. Before entering in any relationship we should be very clear regarding our expectations (like - job, facilities, property, future aspects, etc) and then let the other party decide whether they want the relationship or not.
Sir aapke points sab ekdum sahi hai , but sir sab points dekhne lage to shadiya hongi hi nahi, jahan in-laws samajhdaaar hai vahan ladka nahi , jahana ladka theek hai vahan in-laws nahi , jahan dono theek hai vahan aur kuch nahi hai , sab kuch sahi hai to aage koi bhayankar rog ya haadse se pareshan hai , life ka doosra naam hi compromise hai . Aisa lagta hai shadi sach bolke ho hi nahi sakti , 90% cases mein insaan apna karm fal shadi ke baad hi to bhogta hai
I think this point of happiness of in-laws is extremely wonderful and never thought of but it is proven in the psychological journals that the married life of children is dependent on the married life of parents. As a child, we subconsciously adopt the patterns of our parents while considering the love life and we replicate the same as a grown-up.
Really wish you were there earlier sir ... But feeling really happy that at last someone has took initiative to mend ethics of the Indian society Grateful to you Sir
Ladke ki maa self assured sensible working thi lekin ladka immature aur ziddi stupid tha... Hence had to refuse the guy was the perfect match otherwise
Sir agar yeh baggage mil gaya hai ..toh ab kya kare.. mai apni koshish karti hu marham lagane ka ..par wo phr mere upar Ane lagta hai aur phr mujhe piche hatna padta hai.. par yeh sach hai..meri saas me baht jhela aur abhi bhi khel rahi hai. Ab wo ek robot ki tarah sasuraal walo ki seva me lagi hai..itna darti hai ki sach bolna unko aise lagta hai jaise gali de di hai.. iska fayda abhi tak unki nanade uthati hein.. meri shadi huyi toh maine wo sab karne se mana kar diya.. mai villain toh ban gayi par mai khush hun atleast mai apni life me progress kar rahi hu aur sasuma ki tarah nafrat se nahi bhari padi.. bas lagta hai ki saas ko kaise marham lagaun aur mujhe wo nahi Banna jo wo hein..
I started watching your videos recently. Most of them are practical but I don't believe that if MIL is /was working than she would undoubtedly understand her DIL.
Where were you 40 years back? I was married to the only son of a long suffering mother - in-law. My life started going downhill right from the beginning. But since I was working, I did not suffer for long.
Very true fact about married life of old generation. These so called ailing mothers always seek attention of sons and they transfer this to their wives and in turn both parties end up having a rot marriage. But as you said nobody is addressing the root cause. Anybody who speaks is kusanskari
These days marriage has become a scary thing. And there are more men suffering in marriages in India than women because courts blindly favor women and men are made to pay compensation to women even if the wife is at fault.
Nice video... I agree a mother in law who was working has an open mind. I am one such mother in law born in 60s and was working. I love being friends with my daughter in law... We both respect and love each other. We have so much to share and i really do not expect anything from her except that she works on her dreams n achieves them. I motivate her to progress in life.
Sabke sath ase nahi hota mam.. Meri MIL bhi working thi lekin mere career me muje bilkul support nahi krte. I earn more than 1lakh a moñth.. lekin fir be subh 6 bjr uth k pura duplex ka jhadu pocha khud lagana pdta he... fir 3no time bartan manjana b muje hi krna pdata he. Gahr me sbse jada meri salary he lekin fir b pet bhar khana b nasib nahi hota. Apne pasand se sabji b nahi bana skti..jada roti khao to piche se taane padte he. Pati k sath bahar jao to ghar me kalesh krti he.. yakin nai hota par yahi sacchai he. Ye educated or working women achi saas banti he ye sab k case me sahi nahi hota 😑
Bete ka koi kasoor nhi h to bhu ka bhi nhi h phir sabkuch bhu ko hi kyo handle karna h,sas to kbhi nhi sudhregi,10 percentage sas hi shi hoti h,or aap hmesha bhu ko hi samjhate ho sas ko bhi sudhro
Sir, Arrange marriages jo aaj bhi India main 95 % hoti hai, Us main sabse pahle jo cheez check kijaati hai vo hoti hai caste, aap is cheez ko ignore nai kar sakte, saari ki saari problems vahi se start hoti hai, saari duniya main, saari rich and developed countries main kahi bhi caste system nai hai, youth ko complete freedom hai apna partner choose karne ki, India ke log dogle hai, India main logo ki problem ye hai ki vo ek caste system based society ko maintain karna chahte hai which is an inhuman system of racial and social segregation or saath hee main westernize bhi hona chah te hai, ye dono cheeze ek saath nai ho sakti. Ye hee ek typical India ki inner conflict hai but caste system ka mayajaal itna badaa hai ki ek aam Indian es baare main soch bhi nai pata, Caste system has destroyed the very social fabric of Indian society.
Very well said sir.We have to follow as much as possible...in kannada one proverb thayiyante magalu,nulinante sire.means "daughter like mother,saree like yarn".
Hi sir, please address issue of how young boys are wasting their time by not working (either waiting for opportunity to land at their door and throwing high tantrums on low paying jobs) not having reality check or don't want to accept where they are standing in the world today. They also believe age is just a number and so they can attain success at 35 or 40 or 45 or 55 and they are not even putting action.
My son is actually overwhelmed with all motivational speakers speeches, all news flying in about covid/firing/recession and infatuated to cinema world.
@@Aditi1839 From what I have seen, children who have experienced or witnessed hardships in their lives till they attain the age of employability; do much better in their lives and they tend to value the importance of a good career, good education, family etc. The children who grow up pampered with well off parents develop a rather skewed view of the real world. And just like in the case of your son, they expect the very best of the things in every aspect and those things to be just presented to them and when things don't really go that way with them in real life they fall deeper into the rabbit hole by deluding themselves that "they deserve better". Be supportive, avoid confrontation, but keep gently reminding him that even mediocrity can become greatness with consistency but he needs to start somewhere.
The girl earns 63000 monthly and the boy earns 2 lakh monthly Can you please please please please please please please please please please help me in knowing the same 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 will be very grateful
True...girls' and boys' parents should not interfere... Ive seen toxicity in working mothers in law as well. The family samskaras are very deep rooted. Soch badalni padegi.
Yes I have also seen so much toxic working mom in laws. Deep rooted mindset expectations don’t change Basically happy go lucky, good attitude is more important
Then no one can marry through his/her life time . There are many factors important, while selecting a spouce .When parents are working and far off , such inquiry are not practical.
My parents in law were the most toxic, miserable people, faught 24×7....I tolerated them for 36 years☹️ because my husband is a very good person and we love each other.
Sir , we are going through exactly same situation , meri ladki ki shadi hui hai , ... We are facing the same problem .... We want to take your advice , plz guide us ... Can we meet you ??
Please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please iss topic par video bnaye ki kya agar ek lrki ki earning agar 60-65k ho aur husband ki 1.5-2 lakh monthly ho to kya lrki ko apna paisa Dena chaiye Ghar chalane ke liye????ya phir agar lrki 60-65k me se kuch bhi nhi deti hai aur apne personal kharche ke liye rakhti hai aur home expenses me contribute nhi karti hai to kya ye galat hai?aur uss case me agar lrke ko bola jaiye ghar ke expenses se lekr saare cheez woh dekhle to kya ye galat hai?
धनयवाद । एकदम सही है । बहुत साल पहले मेरी सहेली जो सिककिम मे रहती है उनहोने ऐसे ही समझाया था। दरअसल हम लोग लडके को जादा देखते है वो कमा। रहा है या वो अलग रहेगा । पर ऐसा है नही असर पडता है।
Sir thanks for sharing such amazing and life changing information, I really feel connected because our thought process matches. Request you to please share video on " Damaad k farz and kartavya " Humari society ne bahu ki zimmedaari to pehle se fix kardi to fir damaad k upar apne sasuraal walo ki financial responsibility uthani ki obligation q ni hoti?? Bahu bhi to uski, uske parivaar yhn tak rishtedaron ki dekhbhaal karti hai
