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Here’s a little thing I’ve notice with a dementia patient, my mum, she will tell me there’s people in the house, telling her she needs to leave because it’s dirty, so I say where are they? Just in front of me, so how did they get in? I don’t know she’ll say, so I say did you let them in? No, she says, they come in through the cupboard, so I go to the cupboard and show her how impossible that is, and tell her the only way into this house is through the front door and that’s only if you open that door with your keys and let them in...after a few more bits of explaining she will say, what am I saying, I’m talking daft again how can anybody be here, I’m seeing things again aren’t I? I say yes, but at least you know it, .....that’s how I bring her back as I call it, I’ve watched some documentaries on the subject and I don’t agree with letting the patients believe they really are seeing what they’re seeing, and having to pretend you see it too, that does not help, tough love is best, tell them how ridiculous it is what they’re saying it just might bring them back, until next time, but at least they know next time to try to fight against it, that’s worked a few times with us....she began to see a “show” in her living room and had the thought process to leave the room, and say to herself I know this is real, but it won’t be there when I go back probably....and it wasn’t so then she then realised it’s in my head again, but she got rid of the hallucinating by leaving the room, fighting it, instead of letting it take over, and that’s because, I believe, We are learning how to handle it, ....any thoughts? Or am I way off, if so why is it working for us? Xxx
I'm not a Dr but I have worked with those with Dementia and I would like to offer my opinion. I think honesty is crucial but I'm careful not to focus on it to emphasise distress. So if they tell me they are seeing their little girl I don't 'pretend' to see her too. Yet I am unlikely to say 'No Enid she is not there you are sick and it's all in your head'. Instead I have found a differnt distractio based approach has worked best for me. What I do is respond to the underlying focus. So she is thinking of her little girl so I talk about her little girl with her. 'Oh Enid, do you have many children?' then when she responds I engage as if in a full conversation (Even though she may not repond or be disjointed) So if she says 'yes yes I have little jenny here and Billy and Carl' then I will talk about her kids with her. At no point will I talk to these people who are not actually here, but I will not force her to confront that she is hallucinating either. What I have found is as we talk some times she will come to her own conclusions. We are talking about the kids and her favourite memories and then she says 'Oh and I loved Jenny's wedding, she married such a nice boy' then she pauses and says 'Oh this isn't Jenny is it?' Because she has realised that this 8 year old she can see doesn't make sense with the memory of the young woman getting married and I just say 'No it's just a memory Enid but at least it's a good one' and we move on to talking about something else. Sometimes there are tears but very rarly do I have someone get extremely distressed to the level of panic or hysteria. I take this go with the topic and move on approach rather than lying or playing into the hallucination because that can go very wrong. People sometimes remember things you do not expect and if they remember you have 'lied' to them even though you were trying to help I have seen that do really bad relationship damage. I also take this approach because I have seen a vicious circle where a son constantly is reminding his mum she is ill and that a lot of what she sees is not there and her husband is dead. This upsets her but sometimes she accepts it from him. However the next time he comes she has forgotten so she says the same things and he corrects her again and she has to get upset again. So I see no benefit in forcing hard truths on people who will likely not remember to benefit from it. If they ask me stright out I tell the truth of course but I accept they can see what they can see but I do not pretend I can see it. Any way I'm not a professional and I am not going to call any one right or wrong. In the end our approach needs to be based on the person not the disease. I just share this because it has helped me have some lovely conversations. Often they forget them and we have them again and again but I would rather have nice conversations that leave them feeling contented and happy than constant converations about how ill they are and full of me correcting them on wrong dates, facts or details. Thank you for being someone who cares and is trying to make the world a little better for someone else.
what is the difference between Dementia and Alzheimer's and how would they know how would patients with this deceases feel I can see they are trying to help but, in the meantime don't we have to know, how a healthy person would know ho, how the mentally sick person felt
The two women in this video have dementia. They are probably in the relatively early stages, so they are well aware of some of the problems they are having and *they* are saying how they feel about it. Why would you think that people who are "mentally sick" (as you put it) don't know how they feel? If a friend of yours wants to know how you feel, they might try asking you & if you want to know how someone else feels you could listen to what they say as well as watching their behaviour (if they are sobbing they may be sad or upset, if they are smiling broadly perhaps they are happy?). Alzheimer's disease is a type of dementia & there are a few other types.
Caring for a loved one with Alzheimer's is heartbreaking, and it's so crucial for family caregivers to arm themselves with as much education and support as possible. Some helpful resources for Alzheimer's caregivers can be found here: innovativeseniorsolutions.com/caring-alzheimers-caregiver/
