Hits pretty hard. My father killed himself when I was 5 and my sister 7. I'm now a father of two, when we had our first child I was so numb, I didn't really feel the joy and kept hoping I would get the nurturing instinct. I found it difficult, as you have finacially too. The beauty of kids though is that they don't know any better, they just see you as dad, they don't judge. Really appreciate your honesty, and super happy for you!
Giles, you said... Dark place.... so fucked.... brand new father.... depression... Mate, I paused the video and wrote this comment before continuing. I had a strikingly similar experience to you. I was the most broken, dark, hurt and struggling soul in the months following my baby girls birth. Much love....
Giles, you're the man. Thanks for sharing everything, the highs and lows. Looking forward to seeing what you come up with when working with Storror and wishing you the best 💚
There are people that can get into a state where they are thinking about doing that. There has been a period of my life where I did, and if I kept reinforcing it, then it could have become real thoughts. But then there are the people that pretty much all their life felt left out, left behind, didn't want to be here. I call them the left behind, from the song 'seasons' that Chris Cornell wrote. I knew a few people in my life that were like that, a roommate I had, someone even these last couple months. In a music group I am involved with. And like you said, you didn't want to even talk to people about it. I found with all of them, they would even go out of their way not to let people know how they felt. As well as the famous people that did. Ian Curtis, Kurt Cobain, Chris Cornell, they went out of their way to convince people they were alright, as they were planning it. Suicide preventions help people, but maybe not the left behind.
there used to be a playlist of your liked videos. i remember finding the video by big sean "patience". what he talks about in that video helps me still today. would love to see a "liked videos" playlist return with some of the channels you talked about in this video. hope the best for you in the new endeavors.
